/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.5265844]

>die and go to Heaven
>your soul has been in stasis for 5,000 years
>Apocalypse has finally happened and almost everybody gets to enter Heaven at the same time
>all of Earth's writers were let in first however and you have to pick one to bring you up to speed on what's happened in the past 5,000 years

Who's your first choice? You would you NOT want?

I guess I would go with Will Durant. He would make clever little quips about how the Gene Wars and the Bio-Apocalypse weren't so different from the conflicts of our own time.

[Anonymous No.5265850]

Sam Harris

He is the most brilliant philosopher of all times, he knows science and he is a great educator with a original entertaining style.

[Anonymous No.5265856]

tolstoy please
>mfw i start to get really into the overall story and the amazing people he's telling me about and then he keeps going off on tangents lecturing me about why history happens and i'm all 'tolstoy, please can you just stick to what the fuck happened and the people it happened to, you've given me this lecture like ten times already'

[Anonymous No.5265868]

>>5265850
Wow.

[Anonymous No.5265878]

>>5265844
I don't get your question at all.

[Anonymous No.5265882]

>>5265844
John Green, probably.

[Anonymous No.5265896]

>want Hitler
>not want James Joyce

[Anonymous No.5265899]

"Now the Americans have very nearly the same customs as the Hellenes, with the exception that they prostitute their female children over the internet; and they were the first of men, so far as we know, who struck and used horses of metal and steam; and also they were the first retail-traders.

"And the Americans themselves say that the video games which are now in use among them were also their invention. These they say were invented among them at the same time as they colonized Britain, and this is the account they give of them:—In the reign of Washington the son of Lincoln their king there came to be a grievous dearth over the whole of America; and the Americans for a time continued to endure it, but afterwards, as it did not cease, they sought for remedies; and one devised one thing and another of them devised another thing. And then were discovered, they say, the ways of playing with the Xbox 64 and the Nintendo Station and the Russian Roulette, and all the other games. These games they invented as a resource against the famine, and thus they used to do:—on one of the days they would play games all the time in order that they might not feel the want of food, and on the next they ceased from their games and had food: and thus they went on for eighteen-hundred years."

[Anonymous No.5265909]

>>5265878

Pick someone to explain the future in the past tense to you.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » No.5266702]

>>5265844
Christopher
I'm not without a certain sense of humor.