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/lit/ - Literature

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File: 51 KB, 590x324, SexEdTheSeries.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3012549 No.3012549 [Reply] [Original]

ITT: write a haiku about the last time you had sex.
(syllables here, not "morae")

Desperately stiff,
Hopelessly unpracticed,
I came way too soon.

>> No.3012565
File: 264 KB, 700x1461, 1339001206604.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3012565

much too long ago
all that I can say is that
feel when no gf

>> No.3012572
File: 11 KB, 264x356, kant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3012572

My little strudel
Kant I get in your pants
On this Hallowed Eve

sorry, that was the best I could come up with

not the last time I had sex but whatev

>> No.3012573

Wank wank wank wank wank
wank wank wank wank wank wank wank
tissue sigh depressed.

>> No.3012588

Dear god what is this
Pussy doesn't look like that
Too awkward to stop

>> No.3012597

i thought we broke up
this feels good but sadly i
really have to pee

>> No.3012599

my dog was all like
bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
bark bark bark woof woof

>> No.3012604

great expectations
forced upon my small penis.
but it is large, whore.

you thought then could not
love, or enjoy because you
thought you'd broken free.

>> No.3012608

>20 minutes ago

Free from protection
I fuck you in the asshole
Then make you suck it

>> No.3012613

sobbing without end
stripped and robbed of protection
teletubby cock

>> No.3012619

a long time ago
check to see if it still works
oh god it fell off

>> No.3012623

An open wide mouth
A hairy asshole squatting
A turd coming out

>> No.3012627

in pleasurable
doggy style position, till
shift and I limpened

>> No.3012630 [DELETED] 

>>3012623

Nice imagery.

>> No.3012665

friend's parent's bedroom
no sex in almost a week
coming super hard

>> No.3014045

wake up quite woozy,
boy sitting on my dick
my roommate drugged me.

>> No.3014050

"one more time" she said
"okay" i said, reluctant
many years ago

>> No.3014051

Old womb. Boy jumps out.
So what?

>> No.3014054

I had a bad cold
she wrote by candle light
I can't believe it

>> No.3014060

I come very hard
Fail coitus interruptus
Birth in 'round two months

>> No.3014069

Whilst having coitus
your breasts in my hands they feel
Like two bags of sand

>> No.3014076

it's been like 5 months
fucking my hand every night
not so bad this way

>> No.3014078
File: 113 KB, 680x624, b13.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3014078

Lotion, lock the door,
Just me and my hand tonight.
Shemale porn ready.

In the words of the great Woody Allen, don't knock masturbation, it's sex with somebody I love.

>> No.3014105

Hand on my small shaft
I really don't understand
Why ahegao.

>> No.3014118

what Philip larkin would say:

Fear interlocks fear,
clumsy prods and anxious touch,
I just don't like sex.

>> No.3014137

Beneath the tables
relieving a boy's troubles.
I swallowed the milk.

>> No.3014144
File: 35 KB, 499x604, 1272789284189.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3014144

Tongue tastes of her shit
Please my dear, cum for me now
Rimjob orgasm

>> No.3014156

A generous portion of
My throbbing penis
Is stuck in your wife's tight throat

>> No.3014178

Oh lord this smells bad
Oh lord she must have gained weight
It's been so long, why dot jpg

>> No.3014195

Didn't want to stop
because somehow I knew that
it was the last time

>> No.3014211

I puke in her sink
Fumbling hands unbutton
Half-boner, black out

>> No.3014301

Altogether worse
Than when /v/ makes jokes about
"Alone in the Dark"

>> No.3014664

I would
but alas
I'm a virgin
and don't know
what a haiku
is.

xammitta gave

>> No.3014670

Lel lel lel lel lel
Lel lel lel lel lel lel lel
She had a penis

>> No.3014702

Right hand clenched hard
Penis became a rock of steel
Cried depressingly

>> No.3014703

Seeing my wet eyes
He said "You can talk to me"
And stopped raping me

>> No.3014704

She said stop I'm not
in the mood tonight Fine bitch
I'll pull out okay?!

>> No.3014712

>>3014703
Her face was troubled
She said "It all started when..."
I'll kill her later

>> No.3014722
File: 41 KB, 500x500, Found a penny with a pipe engraved into it..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3014722

With friend's ex girlfriend
we were very drunk at my house
didn't even come with her

>> No.3014724

thighs be jiggalin'
time abroad too much pasta
let me shit on chest

>> No.3014727

I Don't Remember
An Entire evening gone
Crimson on my Dick

She was on the rag, apparently

>> No.3014738

>>3014050
this one's heartbreaking, anon

>> No.3014744

Dick was in the stink
I came deep inside her butt
This turned her on much

>> No.3014749

a virgin for life
no hope of intercourse ever
commit seppuku

>> No.3014757

>>3014749

how do you commit a puzzle game? Idiot

>> No.3014800

>>3014144
That combo of picture+words. 9/10

>> No.3015090

Yo I've never had sex.
What are you, some kind of pleb?
Sex is really gross.

>> No.3015096

Been two fucking years
Well, two years without fucking
I need to get laid

>> No.3015245

It was a threesome.
But the third wheel's boyfriend rang;
And that killed the mood.

>> No.3015252

drunken fuck
couldn't even cum
got herpes

sadly 100 percent true

>> No.3015256

My dick lay in peaceful quiescence,
I longed though for youthful tumescence.
An electric connection,
Sparked a brilliant erection,
That shined with an awesome florescence!

>> No.3015261
File: 13 KB, 633x758, 133713129182.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3015261

The touch of bare flesh
Enticing or horrible
Never will I know

>> No.3015266

How can fine people
Engage in unpure acts of
such debauchery?

>> No.3015270

No one ITT has had sex before

>> No.3015279

trouble getting up
trouble lasting very long
Don't worry she says

>> No.3017075

tfw

no qt 3.14

gf

>> No.3017401

Semen deep inside
A peaceful satisfaction
of throbbing and pain

>> No.3017411

"are you sure it's in?"
"it's in," i say; i can tell
she's disappointed.

>> No.3017415

He thrust inside me
Ankles slug behind his neck
Euphoric release

>> No.3017425

Oh are we fuckin
Apparently yes, cool
Damn it's over now

>> No.3017429

nervous failing stiffness
must penetrate quickly with little foreplay
she must not notice the warts before i enter her

>> No.3017430
File: 212 KB, 1000x669, 1344137954465.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3017430

Fare and well met maiden
alone in the wrong alley of night
surprise bastard sperm i have as gifts

>> No.3017432

I splooged in you the
last three times straight and
you don't know it yetD
;D

>> No.3017439

Shaking a cocktail
Only metaphorically
Came; still need a drink

>> No.3017441

新鮮な雪のよう俺は童貞

>> No.3017443

Lost virginity,
To eighty pound prostitute,
Now I want a gf.

>> No.3017445

>>3017443

lol, I mean eighty british pounds btw, not an anorexic woman

>> No.3017585

The Tree Screams For Peace
Man Laughs And Spits In Her Face
We Are Doomed Forever

>> No.3017605

Slowness of mind
winter of thought happened,
Imagination

>> No.3017616

It was long ago
A warm and wet sensation
I sucked my own dick.

>> No.3017619

>>3017616
Almost a full-fledged haiku

>> No.3017669

So much time has passed
since I last laid by your side
and forgot the time

>> No.3017684

I lie there in shame.
She rides me, bored and tired
I finish and pay.

>> No.3017704

Man, I just had sex
Too bad it is the last time.
It was pretty bad.

>> No.3017719

Lightning flashes bright
Her head bangs into iron
She says she likes it.

>> No.3017755

Gigantic woman
Suddenly filled with regret
I still blew my load

>> No.3017759

>>3017755

You are full of shit
You don't regret 'til after
Next time, lie better

>> No.3017762

the autumn leaves drip
small beads of dew and cold rain
cum from my hard cock

>> No.3017764

I want exciting sex again like we first met
It'll never happen
I'm forced to fap

>> No.3017765

I was too tired
Or weary of her person
Soon, I ended it

>> No.3017772

>>3017762
Good haiku.

>> No.3017775

All these terrible stories about sex
Looks like I'm not the only one
With a terrible sex life

>> No.3017777

An old silent pond...

A load shoots into the pond,

Ahhhh! Silence again.

>> No.3017924

>>3017777

them quads

>> No.3019310

You'll leave tomorrow
So we savor our last night
We both came. You went.

lyk dis if u cry evertiem ;_;

>> No.3019332

my glans on her lips
as she sits on the toilet
in drunken stupor

>> No.3019337
File: 38 KB, 500x500, 1338839505250.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3019337

The last time that I
Have sex for eight or more months
And I don't cum