/wg/ Writing General

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/wg/ Writing General Anonymous Fri Dec 22 07:44:39 2023 No.22857127 [Reply] [Original]

The future is perfect.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 07:46:17 2023 No.22857131 File: 58 KB, 404x720, 28E429D6-F5F0-4577-BD54-9C8FADD1F97C.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] UwO

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 07:53:35 2023 No.22857141

I'm interested in advice on which area of my writing to try developing.

>All I've written so far is personal letters, structured arguments, essays for school classes, and long reviews of vidya / books on leddit.
>I get consistently positive feedback from readers of my material, be they friends, profs, or internet strangers, that I have an interesting style of expression that should be developed further
>I already think in words constantly, sometimes I can't sleep until I get out of bed and write a 2000 word document about some subject or another because there's too many thoughts racing around in my head.
>Often the entire structure and content of the document is clearly in my head before I turn my computer on.
>My main interests are politics, geography, music, video games, movies, war, philosophy, literature.
>I never think about totally original stories, no fiction (I've never even attempted to write fiction.)
>People frequently tell me that I take wildly idiosyncratic angles on subjects
>I'm also highly extraverted and have an unusual ability to engage absolute strangers in deep conversations.

Naturally, due to the wide variety of interests, and even within each interest a wide variety of things to talk about, such as 500+ albums I've listened to multiple times, and 100+ games, it's difficult for me to set a clear goal for what kind of writing I should try to develop my skills for. My university friend suggested journalism, however I am extremely antisemitic so I could never pursue that seriously.

Any ideas?

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 08:00:23 2023 No.22857149

>>22857141
Some things to add:

>I have discovered, being on college campus for the first time this year (I'm 27,) that it is absurdly difficult to find anyone who is willing to match my volume of writing when I chat with them. Often times the ratio of my words to theirs in a telegram chat is 5:1 or worse, even when I hold back intentionally.
>I think the only rational solution to having too much to say and not enough friends willing to listen, is to write at length.
>I am 100% interested in pursuing it even if I were to find out now that there is no chance of me actually making it work as a career, primarily I just want to develop the skill as a personal hobby and outlet for my thoughts.
>I currently have no actual formal training, I went to engineering school so the only essays I wrote were for joke year 1 mandatory writing credit classes.
>In terms of volume of writing, I could easily write whole books, though I've never tried to actually write in one subject at that kind of length before.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 08:13:31 2023 No.22857174 >>22857141 >I already think in words constantly As opposed to thinking in noise or interpretive dance? What the fuck are you babbling about. Also how is it that you supposedly have all these wide ranging interests and yet you have no ideas at all?

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 08:24:01 2023 No.22857188

>>22857174
>As opposed to thinking in noise or interpretive dance?
As opposed to thinking about not much of anything. It's not like the majority of the population has a ton of thoughts percolating in their head 24/7, especially not in a way that can be easily expressed in writing.

>Also how is it that you supposedly have all these wide ranging interests and yet you have no ideas at all?
I never thought of writing as a serious hobby until now. I have written several 1000-3000 word reviews, but I would like to write something more substantial than reviews of games and books.

Basically the thought process is:
>Apparently my writing shows potential
>I recently discovered that when exhausted (I have a chronic exhaustion disorder) I pretty much lose the ability to do math, and some other technical tasks, but my ability to think analytically and write at length is unaffected.
>I've very much enjoyed the writing I've done so far
>Therefore I am interested in developing my writing ability.
>I currently have no strong feelings about which type of writing to pursue.

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 08:33:11 2023 No.22857200

Here's the LOTR review I wrote a little while ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/17osqgo/on_the_realism_of_lord_of_the_rings/..

It was low effort, I just had finished reading the book and felt like writing down the thoughts I had about the book that were kicking around in my mind. A lot of people told me they liked it and wanted to see me write more in the future.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 08:34:37 2023 No.22857203 >>22857188 Start writing 10,000 word reviews then, it will be good practice.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 09:59:55 2023 No.22857343 >>22857200 >on_the_realism_of_lord_of_the_rings >using the word "realism" anywhere near fantasy Disregarded

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 10:08:09 2023 No.22857362 File: 3.72 MB, 1238x2740, Comparison of Prologues (fanedits).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 11:30:09 2023 No.22857463 >>22857127 Stop leaving out all the info, retard.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 11:34:01 2023 No.22857470 >>22857343 The fantastical elements don't mean that there can't be any amount of realism in the story. Do you understand suspension of disbelief?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 11:58:37 2023 No.22857517 >>22857127 Is even /Lit/ not safe from you "people"? What's the world coming to?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 12:07:23 2023 No.22857529 >>22857362 what sort of autism is this now?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 12:43:13 2023 No.22857583 I have a somewhat embarrssing confession. I've created casts for hypothetical adaptations of my 2 novels. In both, my celebrity crush plays the female lead.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 12:45:37 2023 No.22857587 >>22857583 I think about who would be fitting for my characters in an adaptation. I also think about arguments that I would have with producers and directors about changes that would likely be made to my story to fit a Hollywood audience.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 12:51:44 2023 No.22857590 >>22857127 It's past perfect if you're a fatalist, or may as well be. How's the rub.

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 13:34:01 2023 No.22857703
File: 216 KB, 1136x612, C6347.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22857529
The kind that has been developed for a year and a half. Been working on a homogeneous edit of Tolkien's unfinished tale "The Fall of Gondolin".
However, some r*ddit user had the exact same idea as I (around the same time), and at one point he even self-advertised on one of Tolkien Gateway's pages. (which admittedly, made me fume). Hebalso restricts himself with the few sources he chose
The previous image compares the two works (since we also had the same idea to include a prologue to the main story).
picrel shows some of the files I've been using.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 15:39:45 2023 No.22857963 >>22857703 So fan fiction then

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 15:47:16 2023 No.22857976 >>22857963 Yes, but actually no.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 17:09:07 2023 No.22858179 >>22857203 Following what kind of structure? I haven't read a lot of reviews, certainly have never studied them, I just go point by point until I feel the post is too long lol.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 17:34:55 2023 No.22858234 can someone post the proper OP?

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 17:39:18 2023 No.22858246

>>22858234
Sure.

>>22857127
Weird confederate flag edition

Previous: >>22840894

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.

If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3FZzt88HLc

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 17:45:50 2023 No.22858268 >>22858179 Write the first couple paragraphs about how you love/hate whatever you’re reviewing, then ramble about some irrelevant hyperfixation you have for pages and pages.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 17:56:23 2023 No.22858296 >>22858246 thanks, ill keep this copied just in case we keep getting a shitty baker

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 17:57:04 2023 No.22858300 >halfway through chapter five >21 chapters planned and outlined Something…something…slow and steady …

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 18:14:28 2023 No.22858365 >>22857703 >saving web pages as PDF You disgust me

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 18:31:26 2023 No.22858414 What's the general opinion on prefacing certain chapters with location and time if you're creating a story that jumps between locations frequently? Dallas, Texas 9:33 AM Like that

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 18:37:01 2023 No.22858421 >>22858296 Yep, just bake a new thread after them and include the OP. If people aren't faggots, they'll use the proper thread and the other will be deleted.

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 18:41:33 2023 No.22858437

>>22858414
It evokes police/military intelligence gathering so for the right kind of story it's appropriate. For example in a romcom with a military autist who treats dating like he's LARPing a black ops mission and notes the time and place of all the moving pieces in his head.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 18:42:34 2023 No.22858438 >>22858421 >even /wg/ is getting thread wars Generals were a mistake

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 19:22:49 2023 No.22858573 The South won btw.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 19:33:11 2023 No.22858600 >>22858365 Why? It's a great format to store the webpage; much better than epub or docx.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 19:35:19 2023 No.22858607 >>22857127 Doomscrolling the internet is very detrimental to writing ability

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 20:52:56 2023 No.22858833 File: 361 KB, 600x600, 288-1194754775.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] People say I write erotica better then any other genre I write, How do I cope anons?

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 21:27:51 2023 No.22858947 >>22858833 Stop writing erotica and keep writing real stories instead.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 21:32:56 2023 No.22858965 Drowned words In love's black ocean floor And I say they weren't written for me to pretend that I don't want you Now I stand in the night in the middle of the world like a blooming flower, flower of the world, cut for another love

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 21:46:21 2023 No.22858995

>>22857127
I submitted to the most prestigious short story competition in the world. It’s brn a good experience and I legit think I have a pretty good shout at winning the whole thing

Every night lol before sleep I dream of getting the email from the main judge that I won and my mind, in immense pleasure, fires off in every which direction. I imagine how my face would be on the video call, what I’d say first in response, how I’d respond to the questions of politics and craft and inspirations, whom I’d personally thank, what my “impromptu” speech containing nuggets of spiritual mystery and grand wisdom, how I’d share this news to my friends an readers and professors, and, most importantly, how I’d rub this news in the ugly fucking face of the one cunt in my writing workshop who openly called my story unpublishable and said shit being my back. then I fall into the coziest of sleeps

Cannot wait for it all to come true, /lit/bros

Anonymous Fri Dec 22 22:02:40 2023 No.22859041

Sci fi writer here, I just can't keep biological characters around and that's a problem because most people care biological. A robot, humanlike as they can be, is a robot, doesn't worry about death or human concerns. I like that a lot but it's alien for others.

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 22:28:35 2023 No.22859133 >Finally figure out how to start my novel's plot >Get stuck on the first sentence and how to open Fuck me

>>	Anonymous Fri Dec 22 22:33:11 2023 No.22859143 >>22859133 Simple. Skip the first para for this session and just write anything that feels right Remember: writing is rewriting

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 00:03:57 2023 No.22859431 >>22859143 This is a good idea and I will be doing it, thank you

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 00:07:21 2023 No.22859443

I have a nonfiction book idea and I've actually started writing notes into a notebook on it every day. Jotting down ideas, theories, flowcharts, questions, etc. I've never done this before. No other nonfiction project has ever had me go out of the way to work on it. Not at work. Not at grad school.

I'm excited.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 00:39:56 2023 No.22859560 >>22858600 Save them in HTML!

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 03:11:29 2023 No.22859942
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>>22857127
Part 2 of my substack creative nonfiction history of strategic bombing is live, some anons showed interest in the first I posted, so here you go. Enjoy.
https://johnjaystancliff.substack.com/p/article-of-faith

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 03:22:51 2023 No.22859968 File: 131 KB, 1080x1058, glorious-khajiiti-race-is-faster-than-lighting-v0-q82vcl0nibga1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Is there any way I can have a spiky barbed dick be pleasurable and not painful for the female?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 03:55:02 2023 No.22860063 >>22858751 It's not about the characters. It's about introducing setting elements. I thought I alluded to that with how both died at the end and one wasn't even given a name.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 04:15:42 2023 No.22860123

Does this guy sound inhuman enough?

>Every single aspect of this... Man, if you could call it that, was just outright wrong.
>His skin was eerily smooth and healthy, like that of a baby's ass. Yet, the extremely amounts of muscle definition across the smooth landscape of flesh made him look as if he had been skinned alive. You could, even with an untrained eye, perceive the muscles clenching and flexing as he slowly walked into the arena. Suffice to say, the skin of this creature looked downright impossible, a paradox of outward impressions. And that wasn't all. No, it was just the first thing one noticed upon seeing this man.
>His arms were longer than his torso. Much longer, in fact, and his legs were longer still. What was even more unsettling was the way he walked. He walked with his legs spread apart as if he was squatting, taking off what must've been 3 feet of his overall height. His knuckles nearly scraped the floor and his bare feet wetly slapped against the mat like swimming flippers as he made his way in.
>His hair could only be described as conical, like he was wearing an SS helmet, and as humorous as it might've appeared on anyone else, for this man it only more alien. In fact, that was the best way to describe him.
>However, his face was easily the most horrible thing about him. His face was stretched out like someone had pulled on it, his cheekbones visible like the muscles that covered his body. His nose was nearly invisible, and his lips were stuck in a constant muttering pout as he spoke in a language too quiet for even his opponent to understand.
>The worst of all were his eyes. Huge, constantly darting about like those of a chameleon, with a lack of interest in almost anything around him. That is, until he stepped on the mat. Both honed in on his opponent like a pair of trained marksmen. The moment he focused, he started to stand up as his legs closed together bit by bit. Upon reaching his starting position, he easily towered over his foe.
>No, not a foe. It felt more like he saw Daiki as prey.
>Suffice to say, I was tensed up, ready to leap into the fight before my turn had even come, all to save this kindhearted man from something I could only call a monster

I do this thing where I draw the character and then try to describe them. I don't think I did a good job though.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 04:16:58 2023 No.22860126 File: 62 KB, 1481x2328, sneed.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22860123 Ah fuck me.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 06:18:32 2023 No.22860376 >>22860126 >>22860123 Point is, I wanted to highlight that this guy is an anatomically impossible freak of nature. Even though there are some freaky guys here, none of them are as freaky as him

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 06:32:15 2023 No.22860410 >a drama free /lit/ thread >about writing no way

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 06:51:28 2023 No.22860449
File: 1.05 MB, 1080x1080, girori eyes red.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Kill editors. Behead editors. Roundhouse kick an editor into the concrete. Slam dunk a future editor baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy word butchers. Defecate in an editor's food. Launch editors into the sun. Stir fry editors in a wok. Toss editors into active volcanoes.
Urinate into an editor's gas tank. Judo throw editors into a wood chipper. Twist editors' heads off. Report editors to the IRS. Karate chop editors in half. Curb stomp pregnant pasty book butchers. Trap editors in quicksand. Crush editors in the trash compactor.
Liquefy editors in a vat of acid. Eat editors. Dissect editors. Exterminate editors in the gas chamber. Stomp editor skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate editors in the oven. Lobotomize editors. Mandatory abortions for editors. Grind editor fetuses in the garbage disposal.
Drown editors in boiling paper glue. Vaporize editors with a ray gun. Kick old editors down the stairs. Feed editors to alligators. Slice editors with a katana.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 06:52:40 2023 No.22860454 >>22860449 Someone's getting published, huh

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 06:55:24 2023 No.22860461 >>22860123 that's just a One Piece character

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 08:09:42 2023 No.22860612 File: 930 KB, 607x1078, schiff.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] We are all gonna make it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 09:17:32 2023 No.22860769 File: 163 KB, 720x747, 1702345201631914.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] 7k sensical words into new project and loving it lads!

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 11:15:09 2023 No.22861035 >>22859560 Why? Saving webpages in pdf, is already great.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 12:58:28 2023 No.22861250 >>22860449 You forgot an r there. And another d.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 13:40:08 2023 No.22861324 I write like 250 words every three days. Have you guys seen your velocity increase with time?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 13:58:52 2023 No.22861360 >>22861324 There is a uptick in my writing quantity (and probably quality) when I am inspired and/or clear in what I want to write and/or am well rested

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 14:05:08 2023 No.22861370

>>22861360
Have you been able to write more as you have become better at writing? It takes me a while to write even 250 words, it feels like a lot of effort and then I need to recharge. I'm sure it's something that'll improve with practice but I was looking for some reassurance.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 14:13:20 2023 No.22861381 >>22860410 Writing General used to be really good even just half a year ago, when people actually posted their works. The threads were mostly centered around critique. Now, it's people talking about writing.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 14:36:41 2023 No.22861422

>>22861381
Negative feedback loop. I used to post my stuff here frequently. Even posted something in the last thread. It almost always gets 0 to 1 replies, so I've learned not to post anything here anymore. The only thing this thread is good for now is trolling people that ask dumb questions.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 14:43:16 2023 No.22861441 >>22861422 The average excerpt used to get around 5 replies of various quality, critiquing the writing. I stopped posting here half a year ago, so I have no idea when this stopped being the case.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 14:48:36 2023 No.22861454 >>22860461 Is it now?

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 15:09:53 2023 No.22861504

>>22861422
I try to offer constructive criticism to everyone whose excerpt looks like genuine effort was put into it and the writer is serious about getting his story told. But there's not a lot of that. I don't reply to ironic shitposting, anime writing, or poetry.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 15:13:50 2023 No.22861511 File: 802 KB, 2880x2880, IMG_2684.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] when I stopped posting on wg my writing actually got better

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 15:16:46 2023 No.22861522 >>22861504 Then you might be the one guy that replied to me last thread and I appreciate you.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 16:13:04 2023 No.22861667 >>22861422 I posted a detailed critique in the last thread but some faggot whose own critique was literally "it's fine" took umbrage with it. I guess it's also partly my fault for responding.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 16:16:12 2023 No.22861674

>>22861370
In a way, yes, but that’s because I now know what works for me best and can work towards that process.

So for me the actual writing writing of the story is almost the last part. All my stories are in developed in my head (and in notes) and I kinda build this corpus of themes and characters and ideas and just keep playing around with it in my head until at some point I understand my arcs and how I want them to end. After this critical mass is when it all goes on the page and then evolves from there on. For me the writing becomes exponentially easier when I know what I’m writing towards.

I think you gotta figure out your writing process. I can’t sit in front of a word document and force words out. But there are some people that do ideate live on the laptop. There are some that write best when listening to music and some only when they are handwriting. I’ve asked dozens of people and they each have their own thing. It’s all valid. So I’d say it’s worthwhile to figure out what works best for your mind and body so that ultimately you’re able to capture and express your ideas and stories without getting caught up the “right” process

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 16:18:13 2023 No.22861679 >>22861370 Oh and yes you will absolutely improve if you dedicate a bit of thing to understanding the best writing process for yourself You totally got it mate

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 16:29:08 2023 No.22861702 Signed up for a creative writing class at my college, what am I in for? and will there be qts?

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 16:32:23 2023 No.22861708 >>22861702 How much did it cost you? I took one when I was in college for my degree and it was kind of a shitshow. But that may be because it was an intro class. A higher level class will likely have more serious people.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 16:56:16 2023 No.22861754

>>22861708
It didn't really cost me anything, I just needed to take a 4th class to keep all of my grant money.
This would be an intro class, with weekly poems + feedback and a short story at the end. Unfortunately the fiction workshop was full by the time I realized I needed an extra class, and since this is my last semester I won't be around to take it in the Fall.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 16:56:53 2023 No.22861757

>>22861702
My best advice is use it as a means to try out every kind of story and storytelling technique you’ve been curious to try. Don’t be afraid to fail since it’s just a workshop

A lot of folks at my workshops played it safe and told stories they’ve already told and played to their known strengths either to impress their peers or to get a good grade. Which imho is retarded. Grades and other people approval of you is retarded. The only thing that matters as a writer is your creativity and skill and ability to reflect and grow.

You’re at a workshop and creative writing class to improve and you improve by trying new things and learning from those experiences

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 17:12:31 2023 No.22861813 https://threblog.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-18.html

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 17:27:03 2023 No.22861858 >>22861813 >FC2 Oh shit look out, we got a jap here.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 18:10:04 2023 No.22862049 >>22861858 I just like the design / vibe of it; it feels refreshing. I hate wordpress, it's so boring and ugly. Plus, the owners don't really care about racist content -- their video sharing service is full of porn and videos about "niggers"

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 18:19:14 2023 No.22862081

>>22857127
Submitted a short story and the main note I got was that the character lacked depth, i.e. editor was unsure of their motivations, etc.

How can I hint at a character's motivations and desires without being explicit about it? I dislike when a writer inserts a monologue about the protagonist's feelings or reasonings. But it's hard to achieve depth without it.

Any ideas?

Doc Sat Dec 23 18:24:52 2023 No.22862098

>>22862081
What is the narrative perspective and mode of the short story? You'll have to find a way that engages with your characters within that established framework

Also consider if the editor is a hack. Different editors have different tastes and can absolutely want different things from stories. THat's why you gotta submit to a mag you vibe with. They have to pick up what you're putting down

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 18:41:39 2023 No.22862163 >>22862098 Perspective is first person. I'd say the mode is mostly descriptive, with some reflection.

Doc Sat Dec 23 18:52:50 2023 No.22862201

>>22862163
Ah easy mode

Short suggestion: everything in first person is relevant to character's internal life so everything you choose to put on page and write about matters. Everything is and should be a decision. Choose wisely and make it mean something to the character and his emotional arc. I personally like to focus on patterns of observed behavior, i.e. the things my MC notices in others and having it change over time and space, with it all being a reflection of him.

But make it fit the vibe of the story tho. Don't just make shit up and throw it in.

Long suggestion: Recall all the literature you've read where it's first person and you've connected with the MC and his motives and actions. Understand why it worked for you personally and try to see if anything from this exercise can be used either for technique or inspiration. The Underground Man is an example that comes to mind.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 19:38:00 2023 No.22862360 >>22861250 Proofreading is not the issue. Butchery of the actual narrative is.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 20:15:00 2023 No.22862543 File: 159 KB, 590x1400, firefox_vT44z0rEG3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22861813 nigga, what the fuck is this

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 20:36:35 2023 No.22862644 >>22862543 This rant really needs to word "catalyst" somewhere.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 20:39:48 2023 No.22862657 >>22861702 There will be qts but they'll be the coldest cunts you've ever met.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 20:45:27 2023 No.22862683 >>22862543 >premise is art is defined by inducing a state of completion gosh i wonder if there is anything out there that could possibly refute this statement of pure genius.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 20:56:17 2023 No.22862729 >>22862081 >But it's hard to achieve depth without it. Jesus fuck, your characters' motivations should come obvious through everything they do and not require a goddamn monologue to explain

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 21:09:59 2023 No.22862814 I dream every night of winning the writing contest

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 21:12:59 2023 No.22862833 >>22862683 well?

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 21:16:30 2023 No.22862851
File: 37 KB, 1080x608, bill gaede guitar.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22862543
I'm taking some of Bill Gaede's ideas and applying them to psychology and by extension the arts. It's a lot easier to understand psychology with his method than via the typical psyche word salad

Bill has an alternative to the scientific method that uses semantics and visualization instead of math / evidence / experiments / replication

Summary of Gaede's position: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTPEdaay2Og

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 21:23:41 2023 No.22862889 >>22862851 the problem is that art is not science

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 21:36:57 2023 No.22862959

>>22862889
from our point of view, science means rational explanations. a rational explanation is one that you can visualize. we don't care about proof or truth, rather our criteria is if the explanation can be imagined.

i'm trying to explain psychological phenomena so that i can better understand what i'm doing when i start a piece. i've used this to considerably improve the quality of my work and fix some of my workflow problems.

a draft of my book is here: https://johnnymcivor.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-4.html

this stuff is very wacky and atheistic so i don't blame people for not liking it. i just think philosophy is overrated and that this makes more sense

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 22:05:58 2023 No.22863102 >>22862959 "Rational explanation" only serves to form hypotheses in science. Something has to be falsifiable to be science.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 22:09:29 2023 No.22863119 >>22862729 I think they're obvious as the writer but apparently, the editor doesn't.

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 22:20:33 2023 No.22863157

>>22863102
Well, traditionally yes. Normie science is about getting to the "truth" via replication rates. (Here I'm simplifying). But from our point of view, science is supposed be objective, which is to say that it makes no provision for feelings. Observation / replication / truth / falsification are not objective because what we call "truth" is just a feeling that comes from evolution. It's basically how you feel a proposition.

For example, if you're walking through the woods and you see a mushroom, you may say that it is "true" that there is a mushroom. But what could you possibly mean by this other than you felt something about the statement?

(You don't have to agree with this, I'm just explaining the context)

From our point of view, we would say that truth is just a vibe that humans evolved through a process of trial and error. It's how machine learning algorithms learned to identify objects.

Explanations are objective because it's not a matter of how you feel, but whether the logic is consistent, the mechanism can be imagined. You could come up with a definition of "exist," then see this mushroom and go "based on my definition, the mushroom exists." See how that works

So, the mushroom itself, that's an assumption. What is objective is how we explain something about the mushroom. "The mushroom grew here because of a spore." The explanation is rational because you can imagine this, you can draw it on a piece of paper. But if we were to say that, the mushroom expanded into existence from a 1-dimensional figure, or from a concept like intelligence, that cannot be imagined and thus is an irrational explanation.

So, we say that stuff like quantum, big bang, or black holes are bogus because you can't actually imagine any of that stuff.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 22:21:35 2023 No.22863162 >>22863157 * feel about a proposition

Anonymous Sat Dec 23 22:27:16 2023 No.22863179
File: 1.03 MB, 800x1200, bill gaede rope hypothesis summary.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22863157
This is important because once you get down to the atom, there's no experiment that you could possibly run to see or touch the mediators. If light is the torsion of a tiny rope, how are you going to "see" this? You can't, you can only infer it. So normie science is just a tool for navigating the world, developing technology, surviving etc. It's not a tool that was designed to understand a phenomena rationally. Scientists will continue to speculate about action at a distance phenomena until the end of time, they will always invent new particles / equations to keep themselves busy

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 23:22:28 2023 No.22863381 >>22863157 this is the same way trannies think about their gender identity

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 23 23:37:49 2023 No.22863428 >>22863381 not really, males and females are objects and therefore can exist. what they call "gender" is a concept and therefore can never exist. this isn't postmodernism

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 03:31:15 2023 No.22864127 >>22861504 >spend some time putting together a well thought critique >anon brushes it off without seriously engaging with it despite having asked for it in the first place It isn't very rewarding.

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 04:41:31 2023 No.22864308

It happened again.
I was working on a series of short stories featuring a protagonist that travels around a magic continent. But today I decided to watch Princess Mononoke for the first time and I realized the main conflict is exactly the same as my work. Why does this keeps happening?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 04:52:15 2023 No.22864336 >>22864308 You are too insular and must keep on top of popular works in order to avoid using the same trope clusters

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 05:08:59 2023 No.22864378

How do you get the uncanny valley down in a verbal sense?
Like, how would I describe someone in a way that tells the reader "This is not exactly a person anymore even though it looks and acts like one like one."
One of the characters in this story has a sickness. While it's not lethal, said sickness has the following effects.
>Abnormal muscular hypertrophy to the point of causing damage to the person
>Oversecretion of random natural drugs, leading to constant, extreme mood swings
They're constantly sealed in a hazmat suit for both their and everyone else's own safety, and the way they move and act is really unnatural and off-putting due to a combination of how their brain is slowly destroying their senses and how they're constantly strained as the cure to their illness is withheld for ulterior motives. Any words I could use?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:28:41 2023 No.22864597 >>22864378 bro you gotta pay me if you want me to write your book for you

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:30:17 2023 No.22864602 What are your thoughts on the ethics of novelizing screenplays/movie ideas?

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:30:45 2023 No.22864607

I wanna write a book where like this guy is born on a different planet and lives with grandma and grandpa or something and then has to beat this overlord guy who is kinda a dictator or smth and he is trained by this alien guy to defeat him and meets his sister and friends along the way. Theres a plot twist 2 at the ending

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:35:59 2023 No.22864620 >>22864607 Then do it. I'll even give you your MC's name: Clark Kent Your villain's name: Darkseid Alien Trainer: Bruce Wayne Sister: Kal' El

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:36:14 2023 No.22864621

Circa 1904

The day was boring and long. I had sat too long in the garden and Mama had to come and bring me in once I had called her and told her it had gotten too hot and I had spilled some tea on my nightgown. I did enjoy my cup of hot tea, the sights and sounds of the honeybees and the sweet scent of the flowers. Mama was cooking some dinner for us and she trudged out, looking all disappointed that I had interrupted her. But she was still much obliged to help me roll inside. She had to pick me up and carry me back inside because the stairs were too steep, but oh well. She had gotten pretty strong after all these years. Then she had to get my wheelchair and put it in the house and then get me off the chaise lounge and put me into the chair again. At first it seemed like an arduous task for her had grown easier after the years. I had asked her to turn on the phonograph for me and so she did. It was a relaxing afternoon, the scent of rosemary wafted from the kitchen and the open window let in a cool breeze. I noticed the old faded picture of grandfather up on the wall and smiled to myself. Mama had come into the room and reminded me of Doctor Adams’ visit later that day and my cheeks suddenly felt warmer.. It was embarrassing being around him sometimes. He had to come and see me, with my bedraggled unruly ginger hair that was eternally in my homely face, my speckles or my dowdy nightgown. He would have to check to see if I had made any more progress with my limp legs, and I would obviously have to tell him every time “no.” I had not made any progress. Obviously. I was bedridden anyways. He was coming not to see my legs though that day. The reason Mama had put me outside was because I had a bad case of chickenpox. She thought it would help with the itching and the rashes. She said that the sun would dry out the pustules that were all over my skin. I have been sick for over two weeks and haven't seen any progress so far. There was never any progress. Everyday was the same, except sometimes it would get worse.

How terribile is my introduction? Not going to publish just wrote for fun. Was thinking of adding elements of body horror

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:41:10 2023 No.22864635 File: 348 KB, 720x404, 1686344347442867.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22861511 >pc on carpet next to fur machine ngmi

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:43:09 2023 No.22864643

>>22864621
Your opening line should be "I had spilled some tea on my nightgown."

That gives us the immediate interest with "how and why did MC spill tea on her nightgown".

You also have a problem with head hopping. We're talking about spilling tea and sitting in the garden, then off you go talking about Mom, then to Doctor Adams, then we went to chickenpox.

Stock with something. Is it spilling tea? Doctor visits? chickenpox? seems like those issues stop making days boring.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:51:50 2023 No.22864660 >>22864643 Should she spend more time in the garden instead of going inside? Maybe focus more on the surroundings outside? I try to show and not tell but i think i have a problem with that tbhq

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:53:58 2023 No.22864667 >>22864597 I’m literally just asking for a good word choice

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 06:55:12 2023 No.22864670

I keep feeling a desire to write little stories about little people but I can't bring myself to start, because I don't feel prepared. I don't have any training. I read a lot, but that isn't enough. I just want to write little stories the same way I would sketch little pictures.
I suppose I should just start. I think I am afraid of exposing my lack of talent. I should make an effort to develop the foundational skills that people would learn during undergrad. What are the foundational skill that (You) learned in your writing undergrad?

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 09:15:57 2023 No.22865026

>>22864127
I start with the assumption the feedback will be disregarded. But it's not just you and the writer here, someone else might look at the conversation and think it was educational, though they won't reply. So I talk only half to the writer and half to everyone else.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 09:19:14 2023 No.22865037 Do you mostly write on paper or on a computer? How do you (you specifically) practice writing? Do you pick an idea and write a little story? or a scene?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 09:20:46 2023 No.22865038 >>22865037 I feel like on paper you can concentrate more cause less distractions. For me i like stream of consciousness too especially when im writing on the computer. Idk about u tho. Do u take notes and meticulously plan out your stories?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 09:36:31 2023 No.22865058 >>22865038 I don't write at all.

Doc Sun Dec 24 09:52:23 2023 No.22865081

>>22864670
>What are the foundational skill that (You) learned in your writing undergrad?

The ability to try very many things and learn from what worked and failed.

Remember that it's just words, just fiction, literally just made up shit. Ain't always as serious as writers feel it all to be.

Doc Sun Dec 24 09:56:08 2023 No.22865091

>>22865037
Sketches and work ideas out in my head and on paper. Then in computer when I know where I want things to go.

I know many practicing scenes and writing exercises work for many writers but it doesn't for me at all. I just pick a small or big project I'm interested and finish it. Finishing shitty short stories is probably what helped my writing the most.

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 09:58:57 2023 No.22865097

>>22864670
I am a highschool dropout, so take my words with a grain of salt, but I just started writing and improved from there.
You won't be able to judge your work if you never start it, and you won't ever have someone else critique it because it exists all in your head.
I basically had to relearn how to write, because I dropped out at 15 for health reasons and I wasn't exactly the best student in the first place.
A friend of mine got a little annoyed at my lack of any punctuation in my messages, a very like rebuke, and that got me to stop being such a retard just coasting by in living death.
My point here is that you are giving up before you even start because you are worried about how your stories will be judged, but that means you will always remain at the lowest level of writer, one who only thinks about it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 10:30:35 2023 No.22865145 how would you explain someone getting shot in silence?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 10:31:32 2023 No.22865146 >>22865145 What do you mean?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 10:37:24 2023 No.22865156 >>22865146 I mean like how would go about writing a scene like that. like bullet passing through someones head and then he falls

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 10:53:25 2023 No.22865182

>>22865156
It depends on the purpose of the scene.
Are you writing from the point of view of the person being shot? Or the gunman? Or a bystander? Or a detached narrator?
Is this just one moment in a longer sequence of events? Or is it some sort of climax? Do you need to linger on it?
How does the POV character feel about what's happening? And how do you want the reader to feel about it?
In certain cases "a bullet passes through his head and he falls" would be reasonable to put on the page just like that, if you don't want to put a lot of weight on it at that instant. Probably not in your case though or you wouldn't be asking the question.
As one example, if my POV character wasn't used to violence but didn't particularly personally care for the victim then I might focus on the shock of seeing someone die, maybe get hung up on a detail like how the head looks with a hole in it or the weird way the person falls over after being shot.
But if on the other hand people dying is everyday business but the victim is an intimate friend then I would pay far less attention to the physicality of it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 11:03:39 2023 No.22865191 >>22865145 He dropped suddenly without a sound. I didn't hear the crack of the shot until he was slumped at me feet. Sniper.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 11:10:54 2023 No.22865199 Just started a journal. Starting reading 'Writing Fiction'. It is so over for you losers.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 12:19:54 2023 No.22865315 >>22857703 hell yeah

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 12:21:10 2023 No.22865320 >>22859968 spiky barbed pussy

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 13:52:14 2023 No.22865535

>Lloyd Osbourne, Stevenson's stepson, wrote: "I don't believe that there was ever such a literary feat before as the writing of Dr Jekyll. I remember the first reading as though it were yesterday. Louis came downstairs in a fever; read nearly half the book aloud; and then, while we were still gasping, he was away again, and busy writing. I doubt if the first draft took so long as three days."
>However, the standard history, according to the accounts of his wife and son (and himself), says he was bed-ridden and sick while writing it.
>Stevenson rewrote the story in three to six days.
What the fuck is your excuse?

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 13:59:01 2023 No.22865549 >>22865535 low hanging fruit

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 14:01:34 2023 No.22865559 File: 113 KB, 827x382, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22865535 I haven't read Dr Jekyll but I have read Nabokov's lecture where he bitches about its lack of unity

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 15:37:39 2023 No.22865787

>>22864378
Best approach for finding the right words in my experience is the Ludoviko technique. Forcibly expose yourself to uncanny valley phenomena while in a disinhibited state with a notepad in your hands. Write down whatever is in your head during the period of exposure and reference it later to develop your description.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 15:42:40 2023 No.22865798 >>22864667 >a good word choice Good is contextual. You know your story and characters and I don't. How could I write down what's in your head better than you? If you're after samples of good uncanny valley descriptions I would suggest Lovecraft.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 16:20:40 2023 No.22865920 >>22864667 >I'm not asking you to write it for me, I just want you to put the words together for me

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 16:55:21 2023 No.22866040
File: 1.72 MB, 2179x1827, Holy-Kino.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

UPDATE I'VE JUST WRITTEN 2000 YEARS OF HISTORY.

I've written a timeline of the major events throughout two millennia.
Send Opinions
https://github.com/Kino-Man1/FFF-Class-Unlucky-Antagonist/blob/main/README.md

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:26:27 2023 No.22866108 >>22866040 >thought it was 2000 years of world history >got super excited >it's some anime fantasy shit

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 17:48:40 2023 No.22866171 >>22866108 >anime fantasy Yes and no. I tried to be as realistic as possible within an anime system.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 18:14:16 2023 No.22866233 >>22865920 No, I’m literally just asking for some vocabulary help

Anonymous Sun Dec 24 22:46:38 2023 No.22867143

>>22864602
You mean unofficially? You can't really gain anything from it so ethics hardly enter into it. I think it would be less than optimal for your writing if you have any hopes of going on to writing original works as working backwards from a concrete finished product in a different medium is inherently limiting. It's essentially just another form of fanfiction, which is widely seen as acceptable ethically but a snipe hunt as far as developing as a writer goes.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 23:23:45 2023 No.22867276 What is the viability of a white uniform? The faction I have in mind is a post-apocalystic cosmopolitan peacekeeping force.

>>	Anonymous Sun Dec 24 23:56:19 2023 No.22867347 >>22867276 Absolutely none unless it's snow everywhere then it's the only uniform.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 01:18:53 2023 No.22867540

>>22866040
It's disconnected from anything else so there's no reason for me to form an opinion about it. The thing about Tolkein's histories is that they are narrated stories about characters who did things that eventually get passed down as epic history from one generation to the next, until you get to the time of Aragorn in the chronology.
Write stories.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 01:32:47 2023 No.22867571 >>22857127 Somewhat related: How does one get into investigative journalism without going back to school? I want to develop a deeper understanding of history and how it affects current events without being manipulated by mainstream outlets/grifters

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 01:44:58 2023 No.22867600 >>22867571 >I want to develop a deeper understanding of history and how it affects current events without being manipulated by mainstream outlets/grifters Good luck. Making money from this is even harder.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 01:49:33 2023 No.22867614 https://pastebin.com/PNBthRcY Is this insufferable, should I continue working on it or scrap it and start somewhere else

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 01:54:50 2023 No.22867625 >>22867614 mfer wanna be american psycho so bad

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 02:03:31 2023 No.22867647 >>22867614 This reads like a schizopost. That doesn't work in the context of an actual story.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 02:12:53 2023 No.22867663 >>22867625 >>22867647 The character is meant to be more autistic and absent minded rather than schizophrenic or sadistic. Any tips on how I could alter the style?

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 02:21:15 2023 No.22867677

>>22867614
Literally me. It's not insufferable but I don't know if I would read a whole book in this style.
>>22867663
Any tips people give you on such a small sample are unlikely to help you. The word "schizo" has been beaten into the ground and doesn't really mean what it originally did, don't worry about that. Keep going.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 02:26:31 2023 No.22867693 >>22867663 Only mention something if it produces an emotional reaction or affects behavior. You are trying to immerse the reader in the character, and excessive details add tedium that runs contrary to that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 02:33:37 2023 No.22867706 >>22867600 Not even trying to make money, I'm just tired of getting fucked over by MSM and govt. officials owned by corporate interests telling me to trust them

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 03:14:03 2023 No.22867802 >>22867614 im in absolutly no place to judge your story but i think it needs something more exiting i think its better to read something thats retarded and crazy and fun than something thats clinical and boring but has better use of language

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 04:00:26 2023 No.22867895

>>22867614

I think it's good, anon. The only thing is that the voice seems immature for someone 35, which makes it kind of sad. You have this guy, he's 35, he's gone to a funeral on a bike. Some people would say it's not sympathetic for that reason. But if you told them, he's 17, then suddenly they'll sympathize and that kind of choppy style of thinking and writing makes more sense.

But overall this is certainly one of the better samples of writing we see around here, so keep it going.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 04:01:54 2023 No.22867902 >>22867571 It's hard to break in but maybe you could write some original stuff on substack, eventually contribute articles to lesser known sites and move up from there.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 04:34:02 2023 No.22867970 >>22857127 how do i become a good writer

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 04:39:39 2023 No.22867983

>>22867970
By writing, and I'm only half joking.
Whatever you first write is going to be bad, because you have no experience doing it, but you should start to get a feeling for the process as you keep doing it. And it is important to get feedback, since you can end up blind to your own flaws.
I'd recommend that you start with a story that you care for and upload it, first to here for a simple reading, and then to an online site where random people can comment on it; I upload to RoyalRoad because I chose fantasy for my first story.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 04:56:33 2023 No.22868015 >>22867571 This type of content has moved to video and YouTube.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 05:03:44 2023 No.22868038 >>22867970 read

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 05:05:39 2023 No.22868045 >>22868015 >t. gets all his news from YouTube

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 05:37:56 2023 No.22868097 >>22867614 this is awful. there's this retarded love for this style on /lit/ though. Harassment Architecture, Incel, Mixtape Hyperborea are all written in this gay ass doomer shit. Read some Tolstoy or Dickens

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 05:46:46 2023 No.22868111 >>22858833 Incorporate erotica into your other writing.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 06:45:14 2023 No.22868239
File: 343 KB, 1920x1080, thinking.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

How do you write action? I'm writing a fantasy story and my character needs to fight a group of people. How do you write a fight that's exciting? I can't seem to find the words, everything's supremely cringe. I'm currently thinking of kind of skipping the scene. Just writing "he was faster and better and whooped their asses in a blink of an eye" and then moving on to the drama that follows. Should I try to describe the fight in greater detail or should I just not bother?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 06:51:59 2023 No.22868255 >>22868239 why would they fight?

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:01:23 2023 No.22868275

>>22868255
The protagonist has a thing, a group of people want it. He's trying to sell it but people in the group say and do things that hurt his pride and get him riled up so the decides the deal is off and tries to leave. They absolutely need the thing and he is absolutely willing to fight over it. There's also some history between the protagonist and some members of the group, hateful and romantic so everyone's emotional. Violence ensues. This is very early in the book. Literally the first action scene and it introduces the members of the group.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:09:46 2023 No.22868299

>>22868239
>>22868275
no one reading really cares about your story, they're reading about your characters.
while glossing over a fight scene can be valid, it's also opportunity to develop your character (maybe in way only a fight scene can).
and what you describe sounds like a good opportunity for tension, among other things.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:13:33 2023 No.22868315 Tell me everything wrong. https://pastebin.com/zJm959Eg

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:19:05 2023 No.22868329 >>22867540 It's actually a character-driven story, with either an emperor, a king or a hunter shaping the events. But you can't show too much personality with a single line of text. Tell me if at least the nations looks cool in your eyes

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:20:57 2023 No.22868333

>>22868299
Everything before works. It's still a rough draft but it clearly can be refined into something good. You have tension from the protagonist being outnumbered and he's clearly out of his depth. Then you have the personal relationships. He used to have feelings for one of the antagonists and another one used to be a bit of rival when they were young. They all kind of hate him because he's a criminal and there's something bigger and more important going on so the antagonists are tense and pressed for time. The pre-fight negotiation works. It's just the fight itself that I feel lost with on basic level. I can't figure out the prose for it.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:22:05 2023 No.22868336

>>22868315
I don't think a lot of readers would be interested in a start that contains several paragraphs of a fantasy dark lord explaining how he got wrecked on how unfair it was, along with them random talk about tea.
What I'm saying is, it lacks focus.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:32:13 2023 No.22868373 >>22868315 >level 1 >raising stats by 3 points Please get rid of the LitRPG shit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 07:59:26 2023 No.22868438 >>22868239 Post what you've got, cringe as it may be. We might be able to identify specifically why it's cringe.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 08:07:18 2023 No.22868456

>>22868438
Today is the same as yesterday, and yesterday will be the same as tomorrow.
- Click -
The computer screen illuminated and flickered with a soft blue hue. Words changed and pictures appeared. Various graphics cluttered the screen, ranging from pictures of cats in compromising positions, to headlines detailing three people who died in a car accident on the local highway. It happened at 3:48 p.m. There was some information about the weather. It will be 79 degrees tomorrow. Despite the silence, the room sparked signs of life. Unseen crickets chirped as a light flickered against a ghastly face colored by a blue glare coming from the electric box. Ice melted inside a clear glass cup; the condensation of droplets ran down the side.
- Click -
The screen flickered and moved. A new display of different words and pictures. Feds stoke Fears of Inflation, Congress Passes Law Against Guns, Naomi and Chris Calls it Quits!, Man Marries Robot; a New Trend? How to Properly Give and Receive a Kiss, New Fish Discovered in India, Ten Tips to Get the Girl of Your Dreams!, Mudslide in Mexico Reveals New Ruins, Fan Causes Disaster at the Tour De France, Heat Wave Renews Fear of Climate Change, Pizza Place That Will Blow Your Mind, and Drug Cartels Believe to Have Kidnapped Fifty. The hand and finger coordinated together to move a small pointer toward the topic “Ten Tips to Get the Girl of Your Dreams!”.
- Click -
A large picture of a pretty girl with a big toothy smile from ear to ear displayed on the screen. She had dark brown hair, green eyes, and wore a purple sweater and sat on a white sofa, with her legs crossed. She looked straight at the person on the other side of the computer screen. A perfect shot. The finger manipulated the computer device and rolled a button to lower the page away from the girl. There the large text displayed what was advertised only a few seconds ago. “Ten Tips to Get the Girl of Your Dreams!”, written by Susan Coleans, and updated this morning at 9:03 A.M.
A deep breath exhaled from the lips of the person looking at the bright white screen. The cold pizza tasted fine. Caleb’s eyes strained from the glowing lights coming from the metallic box. Although he tried his best to forget, the inevitability of baldness and eventual defeat lingered in his thoughts. His scalp had as much hair as the unshaven shards of hair on his chin and under his nose. Although his lips were chapped and dry, only made worse from constant licks of his tongue, he powered through the hours of repetitive motions that dominated his day. The screen was more important. He read the first tip of ten. “Tip 1: Repeat After Me! BE CONFIDENT!”

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 08:07:36 2023 No.22868457 >>22867614 I think you're good at writing an autistic internal monologue but you dwell far too much on it and the result is pretty tedious. You need to do more than what you're already good at.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 08:07:38 2023 No.22868458 >>22868315 What draft is it now? 20th, 50th? Bro, just move on with the story. You're not Tolkien, you're writing a light novel.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 08:24:07 2023 No.22868491

>>22868456
When everything is given such detailed description, you're burying the significant description of things important to the scene and the story.

My impressions are 1) that you're intentionally drawing attention to how unnatural this way of life is with imagery like electric box and 2) that you're simulating the relentless bombardment of banal information that browsing the internet entails, eg with all those examples of stories. If I'm right, and that is what you're going for, then I'd suggest making the imagery around 1) more streamlined and maybe even use the stream of consciousness style for the internet content with half finished thoughts about some of the articles before the next one comes along and distracts him. If I'm not right, and the point of the scene is totally different to what I thought, you may need to whittle down your description and imagery more to support it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 08:54:34 2023 No.22868529 I came up with a plotline for Family Guy over on /co/. >>>/co/141352350 Thoughts (hopefully I didn't fuck up the link)

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 08:55:26 2023 No.22868531 >>22868529 This is a literature board

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 09:00:57 2023 No.22868540 File: 510 KB, 1014x819, bf2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22868531 I'm sorry I'll delete my post. I just thought that you guys would be willing to critique my writing, even if it wasn't specifically literature.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 09:01:19 2023 No.22868542

I'm writing a dungeon crawling story, where dungeons aren't just "monster pops up, heroes beat it" times 9000, but each place has a story, elaborate traps and puzzles that have to be solved with teamwork. But I'm worried this is turning into one of those deals where the author has more fun than the audience and they just want to see monsters beaten.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 09:31:10 2023 No.22868585

>Phase out adjectives and adverbs because they're bad filler text or a crutch to avoid tapping deeper into vocabulary
>Start noticing some sentences don't flow right if they're too short
>Gradually return adjectives and adverbs to my writing to fix it
At last, I understand.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 11:05:14 2023 No.22868715 >>22868585 In other words, you weren't skilled enough and returned to using cheap crutches

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 11:31:24 2023 No.22868761 >RR authors have moved from putting tags in titles to cramming ads to their Amazon releases in titles I really wish there was a less cancerous platform for sharing stories that had a posting form half as good

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 11:32:28 2023 No.22868763 >>22868542 what the fuck is a "dungeon crawling story" is that by brandon sanderson

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 11:38:11 2023 No.22868770
File: 1.33 MB, 1200x1300, tumblr_1ebb392d28172fe97d41d8c8ff95c2df_8e94d6f4_1280.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I sound really count my blessings that I can write natural sounding dialogue in the first draft without much effort

This is a gift that I feel I often times take for granted.

I should be thankful for it, It is a gift that many will never have and must work for

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 12:47:07 2023 No.22868891

>>22868239
>How do you write a fight that's exciting?
Incorporate some dialogue that explains each sides reasons for fighting/ideals, works especially well if the antagonist has been developed a bit before the encounter. Read good action scenes and take pointers, take note of how the action is described and how well you can visualize it.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 12:57:42 2023 No.22868913

>>22868315
The problem is that you are writing Japanese shit in English. This is the same reason why you cringe when you hear the dub instead of the sub for your favorite annie mays, because when you hear someone vocalize the cringe script of japtoons in English, it makes your skin crawl.
Take your drive for writing stories and your desire to make money with it, and create something that isn't derivative of """visual novels""". Derive inspiration from literally anything else. This reads like a skit from danshi kokosei no nichijou but without any self awareness. Not that I wish to discourage you from writing... but this kind of thing is the absolute bottom of the barrel.
If you disregard this, then as >>22868458
said, it literally doesn't matter. You're writing slop, there's no need to polish a turd. Just post it on royal road or whatever slop dump 16 year olds frequent.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 13:07:19 2023 No.22868943

>>22857174
> As opposed to thinking in noise or interpretive dance? What the fuck are you babbling about
As opposed to things like mental visualisation ability (linked to ability to rotate arbitrary shapes in your head), thinking in concepts, and especially in math or math-adjacent contexts. For example, just yesterday I was thinking about a social dynamic i terms of intersecting vectors, with trajectories begetting these vectors.
This stuff might be too stereotypically high IQ for someone like you to get, who couldn’t even envision an alternative to word thinking.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 14:20:02 2023 No.22869073 >>22868315 Too much prefacing exposition. Just start directly with the scene with the girl (with maybe just a short paragraph setting it up and creating a hook) and then use the scene to fill in some of the backstory, as it becomes pertinent.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 14:25:49 2023 No.22869081 We have LGBTQIA+ agenda as a mainstay on Christmas. And if you point this out you will be attacked and abused as "Christcuck".

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 14:27:58 2023 No.22869086 >>22868770 Yet, you can't write a natural sounding 4chan post to save your life

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 14:29:02 2023 No.22869089 >>22868763 It's a fantasy story with a focus on exploring dungeons. I don't read Sanderson

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 14:29:22 2023 No.22869090

>>22868329
Then I would infinitely prefer to read the story of the character shaping the events of the realm. I don't know why you think some random person's opinion on whether or not the nations of your fantasy world look cool is important to you. If all I knew of Avatar was the world map and a rough outline of how bending the elements shaped the history, I wouldn't particularly care about it. It took the entire story for me to recognize it as one of the greatest masterpieces of recent western animation. Same with Dune.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 15:24:08 2023 No.22869178 File: 1.17 MB, 1080x1626, 01703_Firefox.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Do you buy the relationship here? The guy is awkward around girls and she's a tsundere

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 15:48:42 2023 No.22869229 >>22869178 if I was a woman I would probably read this

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 16:00:08 2023 No.22869257 https://pastebin.com/HGfL2xHT Thoughts?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 16:08:47 2023 No.22869268 >>22868491 Yep. Thank you for your suggestion

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 16:13:41 2023 No.22869278 File: 529 KB, 1080x1044, 34_Firefox.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22869229 It's dual pov so there are scenes where he checks out her ass/legs

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 16:31:01 2023 No.22869318 >>22868333 Read a Drzzt book.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 16:44:58 2023 No.22869357

>>22869090
I mean, are there nations worthy of exploration? If you are interested in stories that unfold in those places.
>Avatar and Dune
I dislike them,. I want a world that stands on its own, independent of a chosen one or a predetermined hero. A setting where even a retard without special powers could beat the hero of the prophecy.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 16:52:04 2023 No.22869378 How much "you" is acceptable in your writing before it becomes too much? Like if I write about an autistic loser who gets the girl when does it go from a good story that comes from the heart to pathethic wish fulfilment?

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 16:55:05 2023 No.22869382 >>22869378 Dunnon but if it's a 4chan post then 6 or more and (you)s is based, but anything more than 10 (you)s everyone's laughing and taking a screenshot

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 17:02:52 2023 No.22869402

>>22869357
>I dislike them
It's okay to be wrong sometimes. Just take care not to be wrong all the time.
Also, how is an emperor or king shaping the events of a realm any different than the incarnation of the planet shaping events, or the end result of a 10,000 year long breeding program shaping events?
Anyway, a large part of Avatar's narrative is the theme of family, how even a retard without special powers (Sokka) can be instrumental to saving the world. And the end result of the Dune series is power being given back to the retards without special powers, from the God Emperor, in order to prevent catastrophe and encourage exploration and advancement for the human race.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 17:17:02 2023 No.22869435

>>22869278
Not sure if "bared teeth" and "wry grins" are attractive or neutral descriptions for women. For me you paint a picture of someone with exaggerated features, which might mean a dude character may still be attractive, but for a girl character it’s a deathknell.
Also none would yelp Gah over cold feet. Draw the air sharp in, maybe.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 17:23:01 2023 No.22869451

>>22869402
>how is an emperor or king shaping the events of a realm any different than the incarnation of the planet shaping events.
Humans' free will.

The theme of my story revolves around destiny. Whether to accept it or overcome it.

Fair rules to everyone.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 17:26:24 2023 No.22869455 >>22857127 It will have been perfect!

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 17:38:19 2023 No.22869482 >>22869451 It is a king's duty to forge his realm's destiny with his own hand. If he does not, then it will fall. Again, how is this different?

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 17:47:08 2023 No.22869504

>>22869482
"A peasant can assassinate the king and seize his kingdom; both the monarch and commoner adhere to the same rules. The same 'dice' apply to both. Naturally, if the king makes a mistake, he can use his influence to fix it, but no god will intervene to save him."

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 17:52:34 2023 No.22869513 >>22869504 I feel like you should probably read beyond the first Dune book. Do not be so hasty to judge it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 18:00:41 2023 No.22869527 >>22869513 I enjoy Dune, but it's not the worldbuilding I'm looking for. >Mind control >Choosen one >Prophecy Just cheats

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 18:08:45 2023 No.22869543 File: 195 KB, 1280x1941, content.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Rate

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 18:26:09 2023 No.22869595

>>22869543
Number one reason why I hate reading fantasy is the blitzkrieg of made-up names you're subjected to on every page, and unfortunately your work falls particularly guilty of this. It easily turns otherwise competent narrative into sheer lorem ipsum and boots your reader out of the story. I'd recommend to keep this practice to absolute minimum especially in the very beginning. It's a less grave sin when readers are 400 pages in and more familiar with the terms.

But you didn't ask for tips but a rating, so I'll give you 3/10

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 18:30:28 2023 No.22869607

>>22869543
Good opening sentences there. I will say the description of the cleric gets a bit repetitive, everything having an adjective or modifier (stooped, elderly cleric; pale yellow robes; large pewter goblet; crackling fire; marble-ball scalp). Not bad descriptions, only that they come off in such quick succession gives it a very predictable rhythm. Could use a little space to breathe, maybe stretch these out through other portions of the scene, or split it into a couple sentences.

Not a huge fantasy reader myself so I'll defer judgement on the lore-dumping

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 18:44:31 2023 No.22869656

>>22869543
The intro sentence should be cut down. "Quite emphatically" really shouldn't be there and feels like it kills the tone. Also names like <Ridiculous Fantasy Name> the <Two Contemporary Nouns> and toponyms that are <Two Contemporary Nouns> rub me the wrong way but it's whatever you want to do I guess since most readers will gloss over it. Everything else seems good and there's a pretty good pace for establishing setting information through narrative.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 19:44:12 2023 No.22869873

>>22869527
>The Voice
The first two times the "Chosen one" tries to use it, he fails. Hardly features in the other books, and can be countered by training.
>Chosen one
>Prophecy
The entire series is about the conundrum posed by these very concepts. I suspect you haven't read beyond the first book, so Paul tears down his own godhood and exiles himself to the desert because he is haunted by the specter of the 60 billion people who were killed by the Fremen in their Jihad across the universe. He was unable to prevent this, and he questions his own oracular vision, becoming paralyzed the the paradox of seeing the future but not knowing how to prevent it. As for Leto, I could fill the rest of this post's word count talking about him but I'll just say that you should read it.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 20:07:44 2023 No.22869939

>>22868943

>can’t differentiate between inner monologue and visualization

>thinks being able to visualize rotating shapes or concepts in Prezi line charts is a sign of high IQ

Even using repetitive phrases like “math or math-adjacent contexts” is such an obvious low IQ tell. You’re incapable of conciseness and resort to imitating the syntax of smarter people like a chatbot.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 20:41:34 2023 No.22870053 File: 68 KB, 622x930, insect critque.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] How schizoid should I make this go in? Don't want to turn my MC into a shooter type character who wants MUH REVENGE AGAINST SOCIETY since that seems too topical.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 21:17:16 2023 No.22870180 >>22867983 >>22868038 ok ill do this

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 21:31:33 2023 No.22870221 >>22869435 monster girls with sharp teeth are hot anon

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 21:32:18 2023 No.22870225 >>22870053 schizoid=/=schizophrenic

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 21:37:22 2023 No.22870240 >>22869527 The Kwisatz Haderach was intentionally created by the Bene Gesserit. He was not a product of "fate".

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 21:51:42 2023 No.22870273 >>22869873 Why can't 60 billion people defend themselves against a single Zoomer? >>22870240 Good point but filming a scene in a Far West town set rather than a real one, gave the same result.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 22:09:10 2023 No.22870313

>>22870053
This is a diary entry. Calling yourself a bug is fine, but I need more. The reader's interest is quickly lost because the text is just you whining. You have to be much more introspective. It doesn't feel like you're risking enough. Be more fearless and more vulnerable in your writing.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 22:10:35 2023 No.22870316

>>22870053
Bit rough, but I like the premise. Very Dostoevksian and Gogoloian (sort The Double in reverse or The Overcoat played straight). And I'm glad you didn't immediately descend into the usual incel diatribe. Maybe you could insert more insect symbolism, I think that'd be pretty neat. Like the mc frames his transformation as a kind of metamorphosis from maggot to fly.

However, the usual pitfalls for such stories is the ending. I think you would want to avoid the obvious (though it doesn't mean necessarily that there should be a twist). Like I can see one obvious ending as him becoming disillusioned after achieving complete mimicry, realizing the cost isn't worth the prize, and he goes back to usual self. Another obvious ending is the tragic parody, where he is again successful and to such an extent that he eliminates his own identity and becomes just another cog in the machine, an abstraction. I think by dismissing these two endings (and others equally obvious and easy) you could, like Chekov, come to something deeper. On the other hand there is also the risk (also like Chekov) of a flaccid ending. One Chekovian ending that comes to mind is the circular ending of The Darling. You could have the mc mimic his subject to perfection pull himself out of degradation only to realize that his subject is only another kind of maggot relative to others. Then his solution is to mimic a new, better subject, someone higher up on the totem pole, shedding the metaphorical molt. And if it is to be transcendent rather than parody, it may be someone who lives outside the insect hierarchy and its constraints. It could be someone, for example, who lives in conditions akin to those that the mc originally lived, but does so with such zen-like purity and discipline that they are somehow higher than the highest insect. A van dweller of no ambition or something of that kind that nevertheless maintains a simple and tidy existence.

>>	Anonymous Mon Dec 25 22:14:23 2023 No.22870329 File: 67 KB, 398x301, Mina loses hope.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Editing is the most tedious fucking shit on Earth.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 22:29:05 2023 No.22870378

>>22870316

I was actually planning on making Mikhail another bug who is secretly mimicking humans to live among them for completely different reasons just because it would add that extra bit layer of irony and absurdism. The ending is very difficult to do and I really don't want to go down the incel route with this which is kind of tempting to do and I could easily do it but it would just come off as forced and too topical. I'll look into the Chekov works you mentioned I read The Shooting Party this year but I wasn't a big fan of it even though I really like Russian literature.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 23:33:49 2023 No.22870563

>>22870378
>Mikhail another bug who is secretly mimicking humans to live among them for completely different reasons
That's pretty good too and another version of The Darling's circular ending. What difficulties do you see with that ending? One I can see is the sudden switch in character perspective that would likely be necessary to reveal that (though I suppose you could reveal it in some other way, like a journal or secret video log or something).

I have to say that the story does strike a nerve in me. I often feel like an insect in my own life even though it is a far cry from what you described in your story (though I did live like that for a while). I have a family, a wife and kid, a relatively good job, but there is always the sense that I am one financial miscalculation or social faux pas or incurable chronic illness away from complete ruination. I always feel the shadow of the proverbial boot enveloping the perimeters of my existence. And there is a sense that I'm in a constant pupal state, never really arriving anywhere, but rearranging my shape like a cockroach to fit whatever thin crevice my job or my family or my society presents to me.

Anonymous Mon Dec 25 23:53:39 2023 No.22870616

I'm using AI only as editing tool not to come with the plot and the ideas, I did not expect that one of my biggest obstacles to just vanish one day

Not that everything edited is correct (none to be honest) but enough for me to finalize it

Actually I don't use it, since I can now fully devote myself to write the manuscript of my chapters of more than four thousand words. (also somehow Chatgpt became less efficient during November)

At first I was reticent to use AI, but at the end it still depend of the use. I'm still the writer of my story and not some idiot generating ideas from a chatbot like I feared

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 00:13:23 2023 No.22870669 >>22870616 Good mornign saar

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 01:08:48 2023 No.22870787 >>22869543 You can use a chapter with this precise text maybe for chapter 55, but not chapter 1. Too many names no one but you gives a shit about. Also what is the deal about the "quite empathically" filler?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 01:22:16 2023 No.22870823 I've watched too much anime and read too little, now I think having my character narrate their thought process in italicized text is acceptable. What good fantasy/weird setting books do I read to unfuck myself?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 01:27:43 2023 No.22870833 >>22867276 Do they care about camouflage? If not white is fine, though you should remember that it is exceptionally hard to keep clean.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 01:33:46 2023 No.22870847 File: 1.75 MB, 1600x1200, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22867276 >>22870833 In practical terms, see the other anon's post about it being a bitch to clean. The audience, on the other hand, will have no problems with it whatsoever.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 02:14:42 2023 No.22870939 >>22867276 I think white for their dress uniforms would be okay, having white for on-duty shit would suck all sort of dick for the guys wearing it

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 02:23:56 2023 No.22870951 >>22867276 >>22870939 You should have it be their military culture that the more dirtied the uniform is, the more respected and experienced the soldier.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 02:28:20 2023 No.22870965 File: 83 KB, 488x476, 1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Thoughts?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 02:45:56 2023 No.22871015 I'm a bit autistic/morally unaware. How macabre or how edgy a topic can I base a story on before the themes become too much for the average reader to handle? I would like to delve into themes of child abuse/trauma.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 03:15:59 2023 No.22871106 >>22871015 Whatever you're planning someone else has already written something more extreme

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 03:25:27 2023 No.22871126

>>22869451
Ah, interesting.
My story also has free will as a theme.
The important part is that while everyone has free will, and everyone has the same level of magical growth (unless chosen by a deity, but even those events aren't part of some overarching fate,) but the systems put in place by people are what leads to inequality.
The nobility have teachers, they can afford to attend prestigious academies, and because casting magic burns mana that is naturally replaced by the body burning calories, one needs a stable and excess food source to practice magic at any length.
The closest thing to destiny is that one god can look into thousands of futures, and she is constantly trying to manipulate people into the future that she believes is the best for the world.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 03:26:56 2023 No.22871132

I don't know how this sounds
>She places her hand in mine, unprompted. Like she wants me to help her cross the street or something. As an act of basic courtesy, I grasp it as tenderly as I can. The moment I run my thumb over the back of her hand, something immediately sends a shock up my spine. Her knuckles don't feel like those of a normal child, even one who practices martial arts.
>They're rough and hard. Like a set of small stones that had weathered the eons. Glazed and tempered and smoothed by endless trials. And on top of that, they're covered with thick, rock-like sandpaper.
>I kneel down, take a closer look, and notice something one should not see on a child: Scarring. Not just any scarring, the kind of scarring that one gets from punching really, really hard objects. Stone after stone, tree after tree. Split open and reformed tougher and tougher with microfractures healing until they were a pair of weapons. This is normal for a martial artists, especially an experienced one, but this kid has to be like what, 11?
>I look up at her exposed neck, the tank top making it easier for me to notice, and see even more scarring. Not the kind you get from training of course, but the kind you get from being whipped, sliced, beaten, and bloodied to a pulp.
>I run my thumbs over the dried-out natural brass knuckles that her fists have become, and I ask
>"Who did this to you?"

Like, the whole point is that this child, who is already naturally strong as hell despite being only 11 and 4,7 due to genetic bullshit, has clearly been pushed past their already superhuman limits and doesn't know how to cope.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 03:31:16 2023 No.22871152 Free will is gay. My main character can see the future, and their visions are never wrong.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 03:33:00 2023 No.22871156 >>22869595 >>22869656 >>22869607 >>22870787 You guys do know this is an actual published text right? The Hurricane Wars. It's exactly written how publishers want things to be written.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 03:58:27 2023 No.22871214 >>22871152 Free will is KINO My main character will eat penguin meat.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 03:59:16 2023 No.22871217 >>22871156 further proof that modern day fiction is shit and /lit/ fails at critiquing because our expectations are too high

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:14:03 2023 No.22871248
File: 241 KB, 1024x1024, OIG (8).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22871126
>everyone to experience the same level of magical growth is somewhat unrealistic;
genetics anon.

In my LitRPG Class F will forever remain inferior to Class S. However, in a fight, it's never a simple one-versus-one scenario; the world around you persists, no matter how much you attempt to ignore it.
My main character will maintain the same level of stats from the beginning to the end, yet he will achieve victory by buffing his teammates.

>Free Will
I define 'free' not as the ability to do whatever you want, but rather as the capacity to rationalize your strength, understand the strength of your enemies, evaluate your current situation, anticipate possible outcomes, and choose the best course of action.

>Go
As for the concept of 'God,' I prefer a fair deity who imposes fair rules on everyone. In my world, all actions have consequences, and if something occurs, there is always a logical reason behind it

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:23:07 2023 No.22871279 File: 27 KB, 499x481, tired frog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >in MY litRPG

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:26:04 2023 No.22871287 >>22871248 Why even have the stats though? Why not have people be classed based on their strength without needing the framework of a litRPG? Is it for market appeal or is there actually something about the genre that resonates with you?

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:30:15 2023 No.22871303 [DELETED]

File: 264 KB, 1024x1024, OIG (9).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22871279
KINORPG
>STATS
Because the title includes the word 'UNLUCKY,' and the main character has a luck stat of -999.

Class ranking is also proportional to the total amount of stats.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:32:39 2023 No.22871313
File: 264 KB, 1024x1024, OIG (9).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22871279
KINORPG
>>22871287

>STATS
Because the title includes the word 'UNLUCKY,' and the main character has a luck stat of -999.

Class ranking is also proportional to the total amount of stats.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:40:36 2023 No.22871338 >>22871152 Free will is based. My character who can predict future will have a whole character arc of getting free will and individuality.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:48:58 2023 No.22871353

>>22870273
>Why can't 60 billion people defend themselves against a single Zoomer?
Because it was always inevitable. The known universe benefited from the unprecedented bounties pf space travel and extended life because of the spice melange, but it was produced at the expense of a people who had but one chance at revenge - to strike out at the universe that had wronged them. The Harkonnens were already dead. All that was left was everyone else. Let this be a lesson.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:51:58 2023 No.22871357 >>22871353 >inevitable The argument is shit, as it contradicts the concept of free will.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:54:01 2023 No.22871365

>>22871357
>free will
The concept is shit, as it implies nobody is ever born who is naturally suited to something. A manifestly nonsensical assertion. Get over yourself nigger, and stop raping the third world for cheap labor and materials, or else the butlerian jihad will come to pass.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:57:30 2023 No.22871369 >>22871365 Ceasing my excavation won't prompt the native to dig in my place. So decolonization is objective bad. The imperative is to keep the economy in motion.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:59:17 2023 No.22871373 >>22871369 rubs hands the imperative is to stop immigration, actually. then your dollars might actually be worth something, and there would be no need to pursue the eternal meme of infinite expansion.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 04:59:21 2023 No.22871374 >>22871353 The real question is why they only cultivated the spice melange on a single planet. Was it just some scheme by the emperor to maintain a monopoly on it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:00:50 2023 No.22871377 >>22871373 Colonization = No immigration.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:02:47 2023 No.22871382

>>22871374
I suppose it could be considered a bit of a plothole that they never attempting bringing sandworms off world to try cultivating spice on another planet, but I think the secret of how the spice was made was a secret that the Fremen shared with no one. After all, they are the only ones who call them the Makers. Why would they tell anyone else? They have no allies, and Shai Hulud is sacred to them.
>>22871377
lol lol lol
maybe focus on fixing your own country before you try asserting dominance over others. 13/50

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:04:32 2023 No.22871387 >>22871382 Still the solution.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:05:58 2023 No.22871389 >>22871382 I guess that makes sense. I couldn't remember if anybody else knew the secret, but it does feel like groups with vested interests should have been putting some time and effort into figuring it out for themselves.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:07:46 2023 No.22871393
File: 730 KB, 734x986, paul atreides.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22871387
Bless the Maker, and His water
Bless the coming and going of Him
May His passage cleanse the world.
May He keep the world for His people
>>22871389
I think that was the point of hammering home how hostile Arrakis was again and again, to make sure that nobody else would even consider trying to penetrate its secrets. The very winds rip steel to shreds in the desert.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:07:55 2023 No.22871395

>>22871374
I can't remember if it's the original Dune or Dune Messiah in which you learn that the Spice is produced from the death of the sandworms and their bodies mixing with water and then exploding (or something along those lines). It was impossible to artificially synthesise and only the Fremen truly understood the process by which it was formed.

As mixing with water causes the sandworms to die Spice Melange could only be produced on a planet with very little water and rainfall. Thus taking the sandworms out of Arrakis to some other place for study was not an option, and Arrakis itself was literal hell to explore and discover for the sake of scientific expeditions due to the violent sandstorms (that could rip through metal), worms themselves and the raiding bands of Fremen. This made it very hard for others to study the melange and the worms.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:11:44 2023 No.22871405 >>22871393 These individuals are unfamiliar with Ayn Rand's works.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:51:45 2023 No.22871474 >>22871132 That second sentence is horrid. Change it, please. Other than that, your prose is nice and legible, but your story sounds dull as balls

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:53:15 2023 No.22871476

I need help with some dialogue for my martial arts story.
Context is "Smug asshole gets put in his place with a severe reality check."
The other details are
>Smug asshole who has the power to unleash hysterical strength on steroids due to having control over his nervous system and adrenal glands
>He's "Fighting" (Read: Getting one-sidedly demolished by) someone who's more experienced, in way better shape, and actually knows how to fight
Turns out there's a good reason your body places limits on your strength because that shit would basically kill you.
Here are my options
>1. Stop embarrassing yourself, you blood-doped imbecile
>2. Do you even understand how genuinely fucking stupid you are? I don't think you do
>3. I'm not even that strong, you're just retarded enough to destroy your entire body because you don't understand biology beyond elementary school shit.
Anything else? Or should I somehow combine all 3?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:57:18 2023 No.22871483 >>22871476 Yawn. Where's the subtext?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 05:59:24 2023 No.22871490 >>22870053 Bit dull to open on a reading list innit?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:01:10 2023 No.22871495 >>22871483 Subtext? The point is "Overconfident Chimp on roid rage VS Silverback with a black belt in Judo and 10 years of experience."

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:02:56 2023 No.22871501 >>22870965 An avalanche of "I have no idea how to start my story" clichés >character wakes up >character gets ready for his day >character refelects on life or some shit >zero conflict until 4 paragraphs in

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:04:02 2023 No.22871503 >>22871495 >1 dimensional character vs. 1 dimensional character No wonder you can't into subtext

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:08:08 2023 No.22871512 What's the ideal word count for a commercially viable novel?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:08:30 2023 No.22871514 >>22871503 The point of this scene is a guy fucking around and finding out. It's that simple. I'm not asking for anything else.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:12:42 2023 No.22871519 >>22871476 First would probably be best, less is more when it comes to dialogue during fight scenes

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:13:41 2023 No.22871520 >>22869178 I buy it, but I wouldn't buy your book because the relationship you describe is pretty boring to read about.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:14:58 2023 No.22871523 >>22871519 Fair enough

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:17:15 2023 No.22871530

>>22871476
If I wanted to read something like this, I'd read any of the hundreds of chink novels where 90% of conflicts are the result of an arrogant young master getting into a pointless conflict with the main character over something stupid, like not giving up their seat at a restaurant or outbidding them at an auction.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:17:33 2023 No.22871531 >>22871514 Your dialogue is flat because your scene is flat. What's happeneing on an emotional level during the physcial confrontation? What relationship do these combatants share, and how does it evolve over the course of the scene?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:19:13 2023 No.22871535 >>22871476 I cringed a lil when I read the third one

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:20:13 2023 No.22871537 >>22871531 listen to this man

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:22:32 2023 No.22871541 I hate genres so fucking much bros

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:24:14 2023 No.22871545 File: 301 KB, 1223x632, what.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] NTA, but is this dialogue too awkward and flat?

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:25:32 2023 No.22871551

>woman turns down a romance with a childhood friend, a little too harshly
>Finds love with someone else
>He suddenly breaks things off
>She's sad for a time, and decides to try and make amends by apologizing to her old friend
>She does this partially out of realization she was too mean, partially out of a desire for a rebound to make herself feel better
>As she sees her former friend, he's walking with her rival and bully arms interlocked, laughing and flirting
>She decides not to speak to him and leaves without them noticing
>Partially because she thinks she has no right to intrude on his happiness, partially because she doesn't want to deal with her bully and him
I had her desires be a mixture of more noble reasons (wanting to make things right by apologizing, wanting her old friend to be happy even if it's with someone else) and a mixture of selfish ones (wanting someone to love her and make her feel good about herself, and wanting to avoid a difficult confrontation with her rival). But I also wanted her to mostly justify her reasons as the more noble reasons.

I was wondering for an internal monologue, how might she think of mostly the noble causes while the selfish ones also appear, indirectly?

Right now I have
>Right. I... told him to go away. I...I can't expect him to pine for me for years. And it looks like he's happy with Aerith.
>That's good. He looked so sad after...after what I said to him. It's good he's happy. I wouldn't want to spoil it.
>But did it have to be with her of all people?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:28:13 2023 No.22871559 >>22871551 Sounds gay

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:29:30 2023 No.22871563 >>22871501 Thank you

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:30:13 2023 No.22871568 >>22871545 Good work

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:30:14 2023 No.22871569 >>22871551 Just pick the most retarded and vacuous thing that you think a real woman would write.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:33:32 2023 No.22871573 >>22871551 Internal monologues are a refuge for word-count inflating hacks

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:37:59 2023 No.22871581

>>22871545
No, it's good. Straight and to the point, banter back and forth, then explains something important without beleaguering it with an overlong snore. Two thumbs up.
"Body's" instead of "bodies" is incorrect though. And "thrust" and "cast" may sound better, try them out. Perhaps cut the comma after "yet".

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:39:43 2023 No.22871584 >>22871569 Idk I don't think I've ever seen a woman legitimately self reflect >>22871573 But how do I make her mixed feelings known to the reader? Should I have her talk to a friend perhaps?

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:41:33 2023 No.22871587

>>22871545
"She did not drink a sip—nor did I." Is kind of just dropped in there without the context to give it meaning.
First two dialog tags seem redundant because the speaker is already implied by the name being stated in the first one, and the speaker changing in the second.
Last paragraph might have a way to make it less ramble-y, but it might be deliberate.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:45:15 2023 No.22871596 >>22871545 I read >You ask far too many questions in shadow the hedgehog's voice, fuck I hate it seems breddy gud aside from that thoever

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:47:24 2023 No.22871604 >>22871584 SHOW/DONT/TELL

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:54:40 2023 No.22871621 >>22871604 But how do you even show something like someone's motivations for doing or not doing something?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:55:36 2023 No.22871623 >>22871621 DRAMATICALLY/CHARGED/ACTION

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:58:38 2023 No.22871626 Tfw your essay writing is better than you fictional work.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 06:59:22 2023 No.22871630

>>22871587
Well the previous scene is the two killing a guy in a strip club through drugs and alcohol. So now they're are sitting together refusing to drink.

I was hoping them refusing to drink to each other's glasses was a symbol of distrust between the two parties. Even though they worked together and committed a heinous deed, they do not celebrate an accomplishment like normal people, but rather still confrontational to an extent.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 07:00:16 2023 No.22871633

>>22871623
So..like this?
>As her old friend and Aerith walked around the corner of the garden out of sight, a tear rolled down my eye
>She looked down and cursed a bit. She forced a smile for her friend's newfound happiness.
>"I hope Aerith is nicer to you than she is to me" I said to myself as I left the gardens
Idk I don't really write drama much. And I've never heard of dramatically/charged/action used in this context

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 07:04:07 2023 No.22871639 >>22871633 NTA but that works.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 07:09:28 2023 No.22871647 >>22871633 Action is dramatically charged when one character who wants one thing gets put up against another character with opposing desires.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 07:14:19 2023 No.22871654 >>22871647 Ah I see. I think she will confront her bully and rival at one point, and that's when their feelings will be made more clear. >>22871639 I see, thanks

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 07:59:09 2023 No.22871691 >>22871156 My comment that I hate reading fantasy isn't somehow invalidated by the reveal that the sample is published fantasy. I believe the point is only reinforced.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 10:02:30 2023 No.22871836 What do you think about dropping a paragraph of description whenever a side character pops up? Is it too distracting?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 10:18:21 2023 No.22871866 File: 3.93 MB, 1280x4268, 1677857892615524[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22871836 GRRM does it and people eat it up

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 10:26:31 2023 No.22871882
File: 85 KB, 932x706, FoG-related texts (1).png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22865315
Thanks for the support.
It's been a fun and educative experience overall; rummaging through texts, analysing them, and putting them together piece by piece.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 10:40:06 2023 No.22871906
File: 726 KB, 545x835, image[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

So I posted this idea before of a groomer woman and a demon boy, and someone suggested a temporary separation while he matures and trains

I'm having it where she gave him handjobs and oral sex (no penetrative until marriage) before they separate and she finds him cute and pliable. They only communicate via letters for that time.

The thing is, after they reunite (about 1-2 years) he's hit puberty and he becomes huge and fierce

I wonder how she might find him attractive if she preferred a cute child over older and more mature men closer to her own age. It's a plot point because she tells him when he feels too small and physically immature that she loves his innocent appearance and finds him adorable.

Perhaps something like she's seeing a plant grow from shoot into mighty tree and finds that attractive?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 10:45:49 2023 No.22871927 >>22871906 That's a cheese's name.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 11:03:13 2023 No.22871966 >>22871927 If you are not aware, a lot of authors, especially Japanese ones, just pick a random fucking naming convention but stick to it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 13:36:10 2023 No.22872247 >>22871906 No no, make the elf thousands of years old so when they see each other again she still thinks he's young and cute.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 14:09:44 2023 No.22872307

>>22871476
Something about how the guy should give up. Draw a parallel between him being too lazy and impatient to get fit natty or learn how to fight properly so he isn't mentally tough enough to be a fighter. He used roids to avoid adversity so he doesn't have the mental strength to face it. That seems like something a character who values discipline and disdains cheats would say in this context. It would be corny but something like all those muscles and you're still weak.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 14:59:38 2023 No.22872408

Is it bad if I mention real weapon names in my story? I've heard gun manufacturers in particular can be pretty anal about that. But I think it would bring more realism to the story if I talked about real weapons and their handling instead of making up some bullshit

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 15:35:56 2023 No.22872503 >>22871836 depends on how good a writer you are

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 15:37:17 2023 No.22872510 >>22871906 I would really prefer it if people made a thread called /lrpgg/ for lit rpg/anime shit

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 15:43:54 2023 No.22872526 >>22872510 I'd prefer if snooty pretentious anons would post in the 100 other threads on this board made specially for them, but sadly Christmas is already over.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 15:44:25 2023 No.22872530 >>22872510 Post your work?

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 15:48:54 2023 No.22872544 [DELETED]

>>22872526
and I would prefer if anime addicted weeaboos posted in the 100 other boards made specially for them.
now you say, you would prefer if normalfags would post in the 100 other websites on the internet made specially for them
then, I call you a nigger
>>22872530
actually I think BASED and shota "groomer" pilled anon posts his jerk off material so all the coomers can come out and everyone else can know that despite their protests, this board is no better than retarded women reading tiktok garbage

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 16:08:10 2023 No.22872591

>>22871545
It's fine. There's too much focus on exposition and the priests voice is buried in anxious writing. If it's naturalism you're searching for you should read it aloud and take notes.

>"Nothing more."
Maybe "As I was trying to figure what to answer she took a small sip of the merlot."

It's shit, but silence is better than boring dialogue.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 16:35:29 2023 No.22872660 >>22871545 Wine isn't liquor

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 16:38:40 2023 No.22872669 >>22872544 You should be over 18 to post here

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 16:56:06 2023 No.22872705 >>22872510 A litrpg general would just attract whiny bitches like you who want to shit on it.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 16:58:02 2023 No.22872711

>>22872669
moot started this website when he was 15 and no reasonable person will assume that the people posting and supporting "groomer" anime smut is older than the one denigrating it
>>22872705
so continue posting here and get mocked then
now you say, nu uh, I'm going to continue posting my anime crap in the thread just to epically dab on you!!!
good job, you like eating shit. don't be surprised when people point this out.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:15:53 2023 No.22872771 >>22871906 Jesus Christ man put down the anime, maybe jerk off before you post something this embarrassing again

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:22:02 2023 No.22872788 >>22872544 you are not welcome here

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:24:08 2023 No.22872799 I'm going to have to add FTL or just say fuck it and just use emotional and impressionistic for everything

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:27:11 2023 No.22872811

>>22872544
Quite simply based
There are obviously a lot of well read people on /wg/ with meaningful commentary to add on writing, unfortunately many of the people who post are autistic teenagers (with the characteristic lack of self-reflection or shame) writing "litrpg" coomer slop, plot and tropes ripped straight from their favourite anime. You have to sift through it, unfortunately.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:32:08 2023 No.22872830

>>22871530
Firstly, neither of these guys are the main character. The main character is watching this unfold.
>>22871531
I have that in mind but it’s not what I’m asking for
>>22872307
He’s not even fit. He’s basically just able to remove the limiters on his strength and control his natural drug output. Effectively he can blood dope himself while removing the limitations on his body.
Unfortunately he’s far too reliant on his “Natural Roids” so when he fights someone who’s nearly twice his fucking weight, in far better shape, and has way more experience, he gets absolutely shat upon

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:35:09 2023 No.22872842 >>22871476 A Kengan fan, I take it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:35:36 2023 No.22872843 >>22872811 >There are obviously a lot of well read people on /wg/ with meaningful commentary to add on writing lol

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 17:38:18 2023 No.22872847 >>22872842 Yes. And Baki. And STR. You know the ones. I’m trying to write a story that avoids the pitfalls of those previous ones. Such as spending too much time building up with no payoff

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:02:57 2023 No.22872928 >>22872843 seething tranime writer

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:05:25 2023 No.22872930 >>22872928 Literally just look at this current thread. It's blatant delusion to claim that with a straight face.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:08:53 2023 No.22872942 >>22872771 >Caring about the opinion of people on 4chan The true embarrassment

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:13:28 2023 No.22872959 >>22872930 no, it's not. plenty of fine posts. cope!

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:14:07 2023 No.22872963

>>22871476
It seems like he's cruising by on a natural gift and relies on that instead of hard work. That's not too uncommon of a trope. Ippo did it with that first fighter he fought he goofed off and lost a bunch just cause he had some talent in his first fights

If you wanted a redemption arc, I'd highly recommend having the guy train his body and skills under someone without relying on his inherent ability for a time. And when he uses his ability again in a match he's legitimately dangerous and could win but he might still lose the rematch because of some shit like "just a little bit less experienced" or whatever

But I just like redemption arcs so take that with a grain of salt.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:26:00 2023 No.22872989 File: 135 KB, 638x480, shikimori-laugh.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>22872771 >>22872811 You're non-white, retarded, normies, redditors, underage so fuck off from here, low IQ, tasteless losers.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:31:57 2023 No.22873002

Hey Everybody, I'm here to see and ask what could I do for when doing a character. I'm trying to do something for my characters, along with making more? But also creating a universe that would be greatly fitting for myself and everything. Thought I feel indecisive and a bit lost on it, and I may be looking a bit too hard at the end of doing some Big Crossover idea?

May need some assistance?

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:36:58 2023 No.22873017

>>22872963
It’s not exactly like that. One of the key themes of this story is “Balance.”
If you’re just a brute you’ll get by up to a certain point, but you’ll fall to someone more skilled
If you’re just some master coasting by on esoteric techniques you’ll get by to a certain point, but you will fall to someone stronger.
Point is that strength/physicality and technical skill are both crucial to success as a fighter and shouldn’t be ignored

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:42:08 2023 No.22873031

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Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:44:22 2023 No.22873036

taphon, Fisker Burien Taishan, introvertive flustrated postincrement holodisplay, ibu Actium, cotch neoconcrete, jim hat, lowhearted, seamoth, arrythmia, Dely, poëtrie, fairmindedness, Coursen, cruciger, Afro’d reticuloperitonitis, odontocomplex, soapsuddy namazi cavernomatous Coucher, imitating ripoptosome, vasovesiculectomy, ecocentrical craniofrontonasal Ott Kleinsmith, Magloire, suprapyramidal fluviolacustrine, tridiurnal blathery, shovelman, metabisulfate, Veiga, oscillatorily, sleepered cacotopia, CD43 cœnobiarch, bge clusterberry, reefed night-fall, biophilately, snowbike, reup, bioeffective polymacrocycle, monologuize, genrefy, Cruzperez, Gustine Thetford, assigneeship, human chorionic somatomammotrophin, palmo apogamically, Eleby buckayro, Ziggy OOTD, minorise beary calpromotin, Huawei, manglement, cycleman, sesquisyllabicity, Futian Gothicist Gutian heelie, palmo, Tom-and-Jerryish Doue dysprothrombinemia, chromework, Kunju, jinshi, caudalward waterfit Gedera, Thatcham, mechanicoreceptor, blackberryade, gastraeum longtermism eleutheromaniacal, Ivesian budgereegah, Klotzmann rheumatogenicity, shanto nervuration, bolti imbolden, despiralization, whatabouts Lauderback, orthonormalizing micropatrologist beaglier, orbitoidal phychical villancico, suprapleurocoel kynological, everwatchful, anisakidosis neovolcanic, lambsquarters mastologist, hyperracist, Eurohorror, inashi microhistological, trioxaquine abrasionally, sbrinz, montian antioptimist, intrapixel, pedleress Abalos, acrodynamic, Heshan, bitterleaf, neuroattenuated fluorosilicate, sialylglycopolymer, transness, fibrostenosis, Acworth Rubenid rejoy, larderhoard, Hipwood, cystourethrocele, siffilate supertranscendence, dutar hexadecavalent, orchiodynia, Kinnon yoinks Drumochter, medlab odorimeter Aveyard, foreboom, duocolor, equieffective variolitization, tead promnemonic, person in the street, North Lamma, dirofilaria, onchyotillomania, normoproteinuria, illbred paperfolding Ackworth orthogonion, cerge dirt biker, lutetate nosegent, Garnqueen, Parrales, bewrayment, Boers, brucellaphage, -clase inst shopstead Tarzana, nondehiscent ktetor houngenikon parawise, paperful, starwise, televisuality well-furnished, stathmokinesis McKinlay, Blaina Americanology, flatfooting pukao aerobomb Koltur, cingulumotomy oddsome polyquinoline, PWS Glusach, caninization craftaholic sindhooram, aminopiperidine, Oenone, blursed curlpaper, α-pyrrolidinopentiophenone, introspectionism Kerikeri Drss. Truc, pocketing Scottophobic Scandinavophile, unstall, dimber Istomin, percolozoan, semidentine, audiotext, Martchuck butylthiophene, isocoria, Thurmaston, minigap, transsilylation, consumpted tocusso, contravariantly, chitinisation scrutineering, deescalatory Galapageian, otosyphilis, Cantabric, Jackson derivative, Islamaphobic Motor, Christkindl, brotherwort, Murphia Tauropolos, allowed puckerbrush, periinsular actinologous jorb, pseudoracist idempotented xenophobism, besuit postdiastolic Banchory, polyclady

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:45:23 2023 No.22873038

lanthanate sambur univascular, leminoprazole Nihon chromoproteid, climacterium Yoong, Welford, cryodestruction, Leiston, spiritship, lustrative forecoming, xylophilan Lispish Athabasca, visceroception funnelling hyperhelium, endosplenic otomicroscope, insonate le$bian, txapela, urinable Baranavichy, Greathead, choriovitreal, intersexualism Coug decocker, strongheartedly Obregon, pertechnetic blattinine, Ciriello, endostar, oesteocalcin, leukometer, outlinger, Shawiya, histioblast Standefer, voiceprinting unheedfully, depacker anthanthrenylene, chiropterology opmonoidal, overelongate Trageser, Bhelsa, tackifier realine tympanectomy, pilicock oligoprogressive, estoile Fiorelli, McLester, cheverell eukaryvorous exocarboxypeptidase genderlike monopsonistically Talmian, innervator chlorococcoid, betanodavirus kurrat, Nittolo, heteroaggregation Tretire, radiomics, meconial kaluaed Neoorthodoxy, Warne chaplaine, pectobacterium, Conn. thoracotomized, protodeauration, doodoo POE, parastylid Greenspun, radioimmunolabelling PDF file, nosyl meconial, Buckden siphosomal, vazir, coenobian

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 18:48:42 2023 No.22873047 >>22873017 Neat. Sounds like you got a theme set in and that's good

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:11:40 2023 No.22873103 >>22871545 Only weird thing here is the "our gaze locked onto one another" phrase. That doesn't sound right to me.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:22:21 2023 No.22873126

>>22873002
Let me actually expand on this, here's what I got:
>Kidd/Placeholder Name here
>Adolscenet 13 YO who is a orphan with a seemingly no family background
>(kinda wnated him to have family but I'm not sure)
>Make him sort of a nomad with a urge to be some sort of heroic mercenary(?) of some sorts.
>Don't know wether to make him fit a serious tone and give him flaws in it to show he is still a child after all, or something else
>Also need a name for him, anything that isn't Jeremy, Trevor, Etc.
>Missing a personaility of sorts?
Don't know how to do this, I was told I should do a loose outline/character profile.

Probably missing something, I'm a weak autistic writer here so yeah.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:24:09 2023 No.22873130 I've been writing for two years. Nothing published. Whenever I'm meeting other authors I feel like shit afterwards. How do you handle being a failure?

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:27:06 2023 No.22873138

>>22873130
I know this feel all too well. The only way I know how to handle it is to take it one day at a time. And to try not to be too hard on myself for not being good enough, to try and remember that I'm the only one that fully knows my own weaknesses and that's reason enough to be merciful.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:29:27 2023 No.22873144 >>22872989 The only time I ever read anime smut was when I was underage and more of a normie than I am now. But I guess the majority of actual anime is just smut now. Porn addiction.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:43:14 2023 No.22873184

>>22873002
Okay buddy, first of all you need to work on your English skills if you intend to write in this language. Secondly, what the fuck are you talking about? You need some assistance doing characters, making more, creating a universe, with a big crossover, because it's a bit too hard? Anything else you forgot to mention? You need help editing, publishing, advertising, distributing?
>>22873126
You're missing a personality, a background, a story, and a name. You don't know your character's fucking name? This is not a character that exists. You are not asking for advice, you are asking for a creative writing course. I don't necessarily recommend that you take one, but if you're as retarded as you seem then it may just help you.
Try just looking up youtube videos on how to write good characters. Read some books about the subject. Think about your favorite book and your favorite characters. Why are they your favorites? How can you write your characters to be as compelling and memorable as them? For fuck's sake man, just do something.
I have a feeling you don't really know what you want to write. This is a common pitfall many young people fall into. I say people and not writers, because if you have nothing to say, then you are not a writer. What has your experience with the world been, that you feel the need to transcribe your thoughts to the written word, in order that future generations might benefit from them? Are you just trying to make money? Because your answer will dictate how you should write. Growing as a person will help you grow as a writer, and you must read before you write, just as you must walk before you run.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:52:52 2023 No.22873219 >>22873138 Thank you anon. Looking at it all of those people are very supportive and ask me about my writing whenever we meet, just as I do out of curiosity and well-meaning. Sometimes it's easy to get stuck in your own head.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 19:58:27 2023 No.22873234
File: 178 KB, 1200x847, just stop caring 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>22873219
Don't sweat it bro. Think of it like suicide. Just do whatever you want, and if it works out then great, but if it doesn't then you can always just kill yourself later and damn the consequences. Don't limit yourself with your own doubts. They are not real, and the only one who thinks they are is (You).

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 20:24:02 2023 No.22873297

>>22873184
Well I'm sorry if i'm retarded at writing or something. Also yeah I need help on the basic understandings for character creations, then making a universe that feels right for me. The crossover thing would be last though.
Your talking to a somebody here, but I'll take your word on looking up yt stuff and doing a course. Also I want to be not one who needs money for something, I want to be something different then working on the simple life of work, I want to create something that makes others feel good or amazing, I guess.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 20:27:44 2023 No.22873312
File: 85 KB, 1080x750, fa0816e74d491395c663be1092172bb13a0002917bed87d3897286ee4f078b15_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

So I'm writing a setting where mages are pretty strong, but someone develops a ki technique that counters them

I wanted it to be like how Pursuit works in Pokemon games where it can hit something switching out, I'm not sure how it could be used in a more realistic setting that isn't turn based.

I was thinking something that grows stronger the more defensive magic a person has on them, leaving wizards stuck in a lose-lose situation where they either get smashed without any defenses or where they get smashed so hard their defenses don't mean much

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 21:34:26 2023 No.22873533
File: 59 KB, 1000x1200, vZCZGDk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

https://johnnymcivor.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-7.html

New version. I wrote a section about "breathing life" into a story, what exactly people mean by that. I came to the conclusion that it's just highly unexpected elements.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 21:42:22 2023 No.22873558 How long do you take, on average, to write 1k words? I've spent all day today doing nothing besides writing - and procrastinating a little - and got 1,6k so far. I need at least double that to reach my yearly goal.

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 21:50:13 2023 No.22873580

>>22873047
There's a lot of subjects that I discuss within these fights. Such as
>How abuse can shape a person's self-image
>Easy way vs Hard way
>How just fighting for fighting's sake is a really unhealthy and flat-out disgusting mindset
>The idea of being out of your element
I also take a lot of common manga storytelling elements and try to take a darker look at them.
>The main villain of the story is literally a pseudo-parody of your average battle manga protag. The fight autist who just wants to fight and get stronger. Yeah, that's our main villain.
>Defeating someone doesn't automatically make them your friend. Befriending someone actually takes getting to know them, treating them with respect, and having something in common.
>Fighting is a fucking brutal thing, no matter how superhuman you are. Blood flies, bones are broken, and permeant, potentially life-threatening injuries are just a hairs breadth away. Even though everyone survives the tournament, it's clear quite a few of them are going to carry the scars
>Determination doesn't mean jack when you're faced with someone stronger, faster, and tougher than you. It's simple math.

>>	Anonymous Tue Dec 26 22:33:27 2023 No.22873724 >>22872526 ugh, writing is supposed to be fun. When are you guys going to realize that youre fucking retarded? Lets just have fun writing fun stuff

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 22:38:32 2023 No.22873742

>>22871476
Good dialogue is character first and foremost. What the character says in any context is informed by and informs the reader of who they are, what they want, and why they want it. If they are an interesting person with an important goal that the reader cares about it will be good. If they are the author wearing a fake moustache and speaking in a funny voice to advance the plot or pontificate about his personal beliefs it will be bad. 99% of flat, shitty dialogue is a result of flat, shitty characters that don't have enough personality and impact on the story to speak interestingly.

When you hit blocks like this, I would advise that you imagine the exchange with one of the characters (ideally the more important one) replaced by Homer Simpson. How would Homer handle himself in this situation? What would he say and do? How about Luke Skywalker? How is what Luke says and does different to Homer? Why? How does your character differ to Homer? And Luke? So how would his reaction be different?

Anonymous Tue Dec 26 23:14:44 2023 No.22873847

>>22871545
> thrusted
> casted

No, it's thrust and cast.

Also your assertion that the characters can obtain anything their bodies desire has to be well-supported in your story, in your fictional world (which is a tall order), otherwise it rings as completely false.

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/lit/ - Literature