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/lit/ - Literature

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22387060 No.22387060 [Reply] [Original]

I might be becoming a stepfather in the somewhat near future after meeting a girl who has a young son. The girl I'm with tells me she is not looking for a replacement father, just someone she likes who can be a good friend to her son. I already bought him a history book, and apparently he reads it every night before bed.

Are there any books which feature a positive step-father role?

>> No.22387074

>>22387060
>I already bought him a history book, and apparently he reads it every night before bed.
If you believe this you're the type of cuck that winds up taking care of someone else's kid.

>> No.22387087

>>22387074
To be fair, he started reading it as soon as I gave it to him. He seems a smart / curious kid.

>> No.22387142

>>22387074
> winds up taking care of someone else's kid.
Isn’t that love? Your beloved is someone else’s kid as well and you wouldn’t hesitate to take care of them would you?

>> No.22387148

>>22387060
>she is not looking for a replacement father, just someone she likes who can be a good friend to her son
And pay for his upbringing.

>> No.22387247

bump

>> No.22387271

>>22387060
If you read Goethe's Faust (part 1 suffices), you'd understand that dating is a Faustian Pact. You (Faust) enter into a deal with the woman (Mephistopheles). And you exchange that which is greater and everlasting for the lesser and ephemeral.

You have little to no conception of what you're giving for what little you will receive.

Read Faust and abandon this folly of befriending another man's bastard. YWNBHD (You Will Never Be His Dad).

>> No.22387276

The only way I could reconcile it is by knocking the woman up yourself
Taking care of another man's son is hard but I feel by having your own seed in the family you will feel a much stronger bond to them all

>> No.22387281

man is it really worth it dating some woman who already got ditched or has ditched with a child? The only acceptable reason to me seems that the father died.
Besides, that kid probably isn't reading your book, and she's just being nice.

>> No.22387289

>>22387281
People "ditch" each other for the silliest things, it's not like in the old days when a single mother was a fallen woman.

>> No.22387318

>>22387281
Only if you really don't care. Otherwise, if the kid isn't in highschool, then you should avoid.

>> No.22387475

You have to really vet this woman OP the fact that she’s “not looking for a replacement father.” Makes me nervous that the dad is still in the picture. You need to find out why they split up and what their current situation is like. Also you need to make it understood that if you are serious with this woman that her kid will listen to you as his father. Having a teenage boy in the house that you can’t mentor or discipline in a few years whose own mother won’t back you up is not a good situation. Also You need to make sure this woman will be loyal and loving to you and not see you as some spare or replacement for the one true love type deal.

>> No.22387487

>>22387142
Not if he’s “just a friend for HER son” if he can’t establish himself as the legitimate patriarch of the family then it will be slow battle to the death between all four people for who is really in charge. Worst case scenario is he ends up a meek little pay pig in his own home while the woman calls all the shots, the son grows up “you’re not my real dad!” and the deadbeat dad pops in occasionally to stir shit. I have personally seen multiple situations like this from the outside and it’s not pleasant.

>> No.22387499

>The girl I'm with tells me she is not looking for a replacement father
Every single mother says this to whoever they happen to be going out with. If you end up marrying her you'll become a replacement father. It's impossible not to when the three of you live together. If you have no problem with that go ahead. I don't know what you expect from posting about this here. Most anons will just call you a cuck or give meme answers.
Anyway, the black stepfather in The Place Beyond the Pines seemed cool, even though he didn't have much screentime and was a gigacuck. Give the boy The One and Only King and Wilde's Fairy Tales to read when he's around 10 or so. I've fond memories of both.

>> No.22387505
File: 51 KB, 679x690, B1F9XqluwtS._CLa_2140,2000_81uy3mJ1VTL.png_0,0,2140,2000+0.0,0.0,2140.0,2000.0_AC_SX679_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22387505

back to /fa/ with this

>> No.22388167

>>22387487
>if he can’t establish himself as the legitimate patriarch of the family
Slave mentality. If you go down the path of insecurity it will be doomed to fail from the start.
One cannot take care in the fullest sense of beloved if he cannot love himself.

>> No.22388570

>>22387074
This perspective is shallow and intentionally ignorant of good will and the power of earnest actions. I suppose 10 years ago I’d have agreed and amplified your statement to generate laughs but reality is a cruel teacher and I’ve already ventured down that road.
Only after my grandfather’s death did I learn we weren’t related by blood. From your adolescent perspective he’d be described by all sorts of expletives but to me he’s the man who educated my father, gave him structure, encouraged his interests and pushed him to have his own children. More importantly he was the catalyst for our immigration to America and one of my main caretakers while my parents took any job they could after stepping off the plane. Stressing the value of self discipline and continued education he only stopped reading, learning when his arms could no longer hold even a newspaper.
I write this with tears in my eyes, reverent for his actions and sacrifices, thankful for him saving my grandmother and father. But most selfishly I’m thankful for his encouragement of my creativity and fishing me out of that pond after I fell in despite his warnings.

>> No.22388594

>>22387060
>Are there any books which feature a positive step-father role?
I'm sure there are, but I can't think of any.
As far as I know, there aren't any particular challenges if the kid's alright.
You should know that you may have to take the role of father regardless, depending on how your relationship with the woman goes.

>> No.22388604
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22388604

>>22387060
kek fucking cuck
off yourself

>> No.22388620

>>22387487
>Not if he’s “just a friend for HER son”
She's trying not to scare him off

>> No.22389077

>>22387271
What translation of faust to read? Couldn't figure out out and that's what prevented me from reading it back in like 2013, I think.

>> No.22389080

>>22388604
said the kissless virgin

>> No.22389111

>>22389080
Being a kissless virgin is much more brave and virtuous than spending your money on Chad's progeny and some desperate whore that won't even touch you, normalfag

>> No.22389309

>>22387060
mb okay if she lets you pump 10 kids into her otherwise you are 100% a cuck

>> No.22389880

>>22387060
>Are there any books which feature a positive step-father role?

Is this for you to read or for the child to read?

>> No.22390046

>>22387060
you are the epitome of the beta vendor and a patch A FUCKING PATCH. And we all know that once the wound heals, no one needs a patch. That bitch is cunning and if you don't back down now you'll regret it forever.

>> No.22390051

>>22387060
You are a pthetic excuse of man on a board littered with leftist incels. Had you any balls you would have killed your bitches offspring but seeing as how we lived in a pozzed world sending her brat to live with her parents is the only option.

>> No.22390065

ideally when she says friend she likely means she will handle any and all matters regarding to his upbringing until marriage. this means if you live together before that, you wont be able to discipline him in any way and if you ever undermind her it will be trouble.

she is very likely just saying this so you get used to the kid with no pressure. if you do think shes a reasonable person you can discuss those things overtime. it will have to change eventually. you cant even babysit a kid without having authority. but you'll sort that out as you go. there should be a lot of literature about this and reading it together would be really beneficial

>> No.22390112

>>22388570
Thank you anon for this post. I swear that i will never mock stepfathers again. Again, thank you