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/lit/ - Literature

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22359097 No.22359097 [Reply] [Original]

Should I keep going with this story or just close the type writer completely?

>> No.22359123

>>22359097
The problem is that it sounds like you’re just going to write a normal story but with this prologue thing lurking in the background. You should get rid of the stupid space and sci if shit and then integrate the basic premise into the story the guy is going to tell by making it something that happened to him or something that he observed

>> No.22359135

>>22359123
And you may ask how you explain how this guy exists in this weird space between dimensions without the sci if shit, the answer is that you don’t explain it and leave the exact nature of the narrator a mystery. It’s more interesting that way

>> No.22359139

>>22359097
I wouldn't say close the typewriter entirely but simple and precise prose is better than trying to show off with words like zeitgeist and such. Also "meta things" need to be done really well to have any punch nowadays, the novelty wore off quite a bit in the past few centuries. Keep on writing and thinking of stories but I'm not very convinced about this specific bit. Don't worry, like all arts, it's about practice, trial and error, those things will take time and eventually work themselves out.

>> No.22359148

>>22359097
Its just bad.

>> No.22359162

>>22359097
It reads like an incel cry for help. Especially the part about becoming more real.

>> No.22359173

>>22359123
>>22359135
People who say stuff like this don't know how to write. Don't follow the rules OP.

>> No.22359191

>>22359173
What do you mean stuff like this? I don’t know any rules and have never read anything about how to write or really even given advice before, I just read his post and said what I thought, so I dont know what you mean “stuff like this”

>> No.22359199

>some gay shit
>always in first person
Every single piece of writing from lit

>> No.22359208

>>22359199
>first person
Read more books then critic others

>> No.22359222

>>22359208
Most books are not in first person.

>> No.22359231
File: 276 KB, 1344x798, wiki.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22359231

>>22359097
it's not a first person narrative, its an omniscient narrative. Most people on /lit/ won't have the intellect to recognize genius when it's presented to them.

>> No.22359258

>criticize a piece of garbage written on lit
>you get accused of not recognizing genius
Every single time

>> No.22359503

Cringe bullshit OP.
>>22359123
Honestly this guy nailed it. If the other story you wanted to tell had any merit to it, you would simply tell that story. Instead you feel the need to prop it up on this pretentious cosmic mumbo jumbo which is feeble and hollow and lacking of the gravity you hope it to have.

>zeitgeist
That last sentence is absolutely disgusting dogshit. I can’t believe I wasted my time reading that far.

>> No.22359507

>>22359231
Commit suicide. Wikipedia screenshots doesnt prove anything.

>> No.22359518

>>22359503
>>22359139
Why are people so bothered by zeitgeist? It's a pretty normal word, not showing off at all imo

>>22359097
That said, I'm not sure you should keep going. It's only a paragraph, you might be able to turn it around, but I don't like the direction this implies or the narrative voice.

>> No.22359530

>>22359518
It’s the whole delivery of that line. “Injecting my zest in the cosmological zeitgeist” is just hideously purply. It’s trying to sound smart but it’s a boring image and comes off way too strong.

>> No.22359539

>>22359530
Is it boring or does it come on too strong? I don't like it either but it's not "purple." The tone is smug but there's nothing really ornate or challenging about it.

>> No.22360649

>>22359222
>third person
Sorry, my bad.

>> No.22361892
File: 27 KB, 499x481, pepe_disapproving.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22361892

>>22359097
>lead character is a writer
Imagination fail.
Into the trash it goes.

>> No.22362267

>>22359097
I was lost in space, with no idea how to get to planet Bearth. I'd ejected myself of my own free will. This was very silly of me and I promptly died. The End.