/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.22131357]

>Opens the Divine Comedy
>It's not even funny

[Anonymous No.22131359]

>>22131357
You have a shit sense of humour.

[Anonymous No.22131361]

>Open Lolita
>The protagonist is a dude

[Anonymous No.22131372]

>>22131359
Ok tranny

[Anonymous No.22131408]

>>22131357
>open "A Hero of our Time"
>the protagonist is a huge asshole and has nothing heroic about him whatsoever

[Anonymous No.22131412]

>>22131357
>open Grapes of Wrath
>nobody grows grapes or makes wine through the entire book
>at least some people are quite angry at times

[Anonymous No.22131413]

>Open Frankenstein
>It's about the scientist

[Anonymous No.22131420]

>Open Stoner
>Doesnt smoke weed

[Anonymous No.22131426]

>>22131361
Now that I think about it, this would have improved the book. Nabokov's problem is he had the prose of a Russian, but none of the soul.

[Anonymous No.22131432]

>>22131357
>open King, Queen, Knave
>it's not historical fiction about class conflict in a feudal society

[Anonymous No.22131433]

>open Hamlet
>no tiny ham

[Anonymous No.22131436]

>Open Moby Dick
>No giant cocks

[Anonymous No.22131437]

>>22131357
>open The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver'd by Pyrates. Written by Himself.
>it is written by Daniel Defoe

[Anonymous No.22131438]

>open Stoner
>nobody throws rocks

[Anonymous No.22131444]

>>22131359
you have a shit colour of skin

[Anonymous No.22131479]

>>22131408
Also he lived in the 19th century, way before our time.

[Anonymous No.22131495]

>open Butcher's crossing
>nothing about slaughterhouse workers using a pedestrian crosswalk

[Anonymous No.22131496]

>>22131433
kek

[Anonymous No.22131514]

>>22131433
topkek

[Anonymous No.22131516]

>>22131433
I bet even Shakespeare himself would've chuckled at such a stupid remark

[Anonymous No.22131525]

>open Blood Meridian; or, The Evening Redness in the West
>the topics of haemageodesy and geoastronomial optics are never raised

[Anonymous No.22131531]

>>22131525
The Judge does mention geoastronomical optics at some point

[Anonymous No.22131537]

>>22131479
lmazao

[Anonymous No.22131538]

>open Ride the Tiger
>it's about how sex on drugs makes magic real
>no tigers involved

[Anonymous No.22131552]

>open Crime & Punishment
>there's over 500 filler pages in between the crime and the punishment

[Anonymous No.22131588]

>>22131552
>open The Brothers Karamazov
>it's about three brothers and this one unrelated dude who's just some servant or something, whatever

[Anonymous No.22131692]

>>22131357
>Opens Of Rats and Men
>Theres no rats in the book, theres a singular rat, and he is dead

[Anonymous No.22131700]

>open The Stand
>most characters spend most of the book walking or driving somewhere else

[Anonymous No.22131708]

>>22131357
>Open Odissey
>The guys name is Ulisses

[Anonymous No.22131713]

>>22131708
>open Iliad
>there's not a single character or places named "Iliad" in the entire book

[Anonymous No.22131740]

>open Growth of the Soil
>the homesteads are what grow

[Anonymous No.22131746]

>>22131357
>Open my heart
>she rejects me

[Anonymous No.22131749]

>>22131357
>Open Demian
>The book is about another guy who like saw Demian twice

[Anonymous No.22131761]

>>22131749
>Open The Glass Bead Game
>No mention of any anal sex toy

[Anonymous No.22131772]

>>22131357
Open Mobys Dick
>Ouch!

[Anonymous No.22131799]

>Open Picnic at hanging rock
>Eat

[Anonymous No.22131819]

>>22131746
Same desu

[Anonymous No.22131963]

>>22131746
tfw

[Anonymous No.22131983]

>>22131357
>open Lord of the Rings
>protagonist only has one ring and he gets rid of it

[Anonymous No.22131988]

>opens the new testament
>it's like 2000 years old

[Anonymous No.22131994]

>>22131357
>Open your bussy
>It aint bussin

[Anonymous No.22132000]

>>22131746
KEK

[Anonymous No.22132004]

>>22131444
>colo u r
So do you

[Anonymous No.22132017]

Open Infinite Jes- no, you know what, this thread has already happened a myriad times before. It stopped being funny in 2019. I'm not having it anymore

[Anonymous No.22132042]

>>22132017
Take that big black dildo out of your ass anon

[Anonymous No.22132051]

>>22132042
mutt's law

[Anonymous No.22132079]

>>22131437
>Why name it like that if the entire title is not on the book.

[Anonymous No.22132149]

>Opens the Book of Job
>zero information on employment

[Anonymous No.22132171]

>>22132149
Kek

[Anonymous No.22132175]

>>22132017
You know why this thread never stopped since 2019?
Because its the Infinite Jest

[Anonymous No.22132186]

>open Watership Down
>not about a malfunctioning sailing vessel

>open Bohemian Rhapsody
>no references to the Czech Republic

>open A Night To Remember
>it's about a night that everyone involved would actually rather forget

[Anonymous No.22132189]

>>22131772
kek

[Anonymous No.22132200]

>>22131357
>open Memoir of a Russian Punk
>the only genres mentioned are jazz and folk

[Anonymous No.22132207]

>>22132149
Takes the cake

[Anonymous No.22132301]

>>22131357
>Open Infinite Jest
>Sleeps

[Anonymous No.22132304]

>>22131357
>Open Finnegans Wake
>Its in proto Aramaic

[Anonymous No.22132308]

Wow /lit/ is full of retards.

[Anonymous No.22132313]

>>22131357
>Open The Industrial society and its Consequences
>On my pdf reader

[Anonymous No.22132334]

>>22131357
>Open The Capital
>He doesnt even mention of which State

[Anonymous No.22132341]

>>22132308
>Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down onto the green pastures of silliness

[Anonymous No.22132429]

>>22131433
lol silly

[Anonymous No.22132443]

>>22131420
I was waiting for this one so bad kek

[Anonymous No.22132447]

>>22131433
holylolkek

[Anonymous No.22132470]

>Open the Art of War
>No pictures

[Anonymous No.22132670]

>>22132313
Timely
>ID: GGGA0

[Anonymous No.22132711]

>Open Book of Romans
>written by a Jewish guy

[Anonymous No.22132774]

>>22131357
>ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta.

[Anonymous No.22132796]

>Open Notes from the Underground
>He isn't underground he's in St Petersburg

[Anonymous No.22132805]

>>22132175
AYO

[Anonymous No.22132806]

>Open Book of Numbers
>No mention of math, just jews

[Anonymous No.22132807]

>Bible is called the word of God
>Has more than one word

[Anonymous No.22132817]

>open Heart of a Dog
>it's about human pituitary gland

[Anonymous No.22132833]

>>22132774
>and he had made a trumpet out of his ass
>Line 139, Canto XXI

[Anonymous No.22132859]

>ouvre l'Être et le Néant
>il y a de l'être mais pas de néant

[Anonymous No.22132873]

>>22132774
>>22132833
>Hahaha poopoo, peepee!
>Teehee sloppy, beefy farting heuheuheu lmfao!!
Why do musical/poetic geniuses always have a literal shitty sense of humor?

[Anonymous No.22132877]

>>22132807
Has more than 100 authors

[Anonymous No.22132894]

>open Tao Te Ching to learn what Tao is
>Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao

[Anonymous No.22133120]

>100 years of solitude
>entire book about relationships and community

[Anonymous No.22133322]

>open the Cask of Amontiado
>he's still in there

[Anonymous No.22133344]

>>22131357
>open Echopraxia
>the whole book is indeed an act of thoughtless repetition

[Anonymous No.22133357]

>>22131357
>Open The Old Man And The Sea
>They didnt tell you about the fish

[Anonymous No.22133527]

>>22132004
>Amerilard
>"English"

[Anonymous No.22133551]

>open /lit/
>nobody reads

[Anonymous No.22133969]

>>22131708
>Open Ulysses
>The guys name is Leopold

[Anonymous No.22134002]

>>22131357
it's only funny when you realize that he's serious.

[Anonymous No.22134015]

>>22131357
>open Moby Dick
>there's enough about dick alright

[Anonymous No.22134038]

>>22134015
WHERE?! Said the scholar
I dunno just feels like it

[Anonymous No.22134045]

>read Revolt Against the Modern World
>he barely addresses the things he finds revolting
>no terrorism tips and tricks

[Anonymous No.22134054]

>>22131357
>reading the Invisible Man
>he's not invisible just black and not even sneaking at night

[Anonymous No.22134065]

>I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream
>He has no mouth and he must scream

[Anonymous No.22134073]

>reading about Platonism
>no mention of plates or any kind of fine china anywhere

[Anonymous No.22134081]

>>22131357
>reading Homer
>it takes a really, really long time for him to get home

[Anonymous No.22134736]

>Open The Road
>It's just about 2 people walking on a road

[Anonymous No.22134757]

>Open E string
>Twung

[Anonymous No.22135010]

>>22134081
kek'd audibly

[Anonymous No.22135116]

>Open The Leopard
>No Leopards just Italians

[Anonymous No.22135387]

>>22131357
>Open Heimer
>I am become death

[Anonymous No.22135391]

>Open a Clockwork Orange
>No oranges or clock mechanisms, just rape and brainwashing

[Anonymous No.22135393]

>>22133322
Lol

[Anonymous No.22135442]

>Open Plato's Apology
>Socrates isn't even saying sorry.

[Anonymous No.22135460]

>Open Finnegans Wake
>he's asleep

[Anonymous No.22135466]

>Open Hamlet
>it takes place in a castle

[Anonymous No.22135494]

>open the doors of perception

[Anonymous No.22135526]

>open Autocrat of the Desert
>actually rules in a steppe

[Anonymous No.22135579]

>>22131361
If you want it from the Female's perspective, try Yoko Ogawa's "Hotel Iris".

[Anonymous No.22135609]

>open Bridge In The Menagerie
> the cardplayers are all humans

>open How Not To Play Chess
>learn how to play chess

[Anonymous No.22135626]

>>22131357
>Open the subtle art of not giving a f*ck
>It's not a subtle book at all

[Anonymous No.22135849]

>>22132873
In any proper society, your exposure to vulgarity would be minimal. So, poopoopeepee would be a genuine deviation from norms and therefore funny. Also, in some way genius is a preservation of some aspects of childhood.

[Anonymous No.22135874]

>>22131357
>open gay science
>not gay enough

[Anonymous No.22135886]

>Open lord of the flies
>it's about a bunch of kids

[Anonymous No.22135907]

>open No Longer Human
> i am still human

[Anonymous No.22135909]

>open the Unknown Soldier
>all the soldiers in the book are known

[Anonymous No.22135913]

> read Journey to Ixtlan: The Lessons of Don Juan
> still an incel and there was no fucking in entire book

[Anonymous No.22135945]

>>22131357
>Opens brave new world
>protagonist is a pussy

[Anonymous No.22135954]

>>22135945
Which one.

[Anonymous No.22135956]

>>22135954
the retarded one

[Anonymous No.22136647]

>Open Ender's Game
>Can't play it

[Anonymous No.22136752]

>read the Bible

[Anonymous No.22137018]

>open Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
>its a novel

[Anonymous No.22137019]

>>22131357
kek

[Anonymous No.22137030]

>>22131357
>Open Notes from the Underground
>No one digs up any notes or writes them while underground

[Anonymous No.22137304]

>>22133969
They are always one step ahead of us

[Anonymous No.22137320]

>>22131436
The giant cock was implied

[Anonymous No.22137339]

>>22131357
>Open one hundred years of solitude
>there’s always all these characters interacting with each other

[Anonymous No.22137930]

>>22131713
Iliad more or less translates to "Troy Story"

[Anonymous No.22137982]

>open Orlando
>nothing to do with Florida

[Anonymous No.22138152]

>>22137930
>Troy Story
>No Bruzz or Wroody

[Anonymous No.22138450]

>>22138152
Kek

[Anonymous No.22138610]

>>22131433
good one

[Anonymous No.22138691]

>>22138152
loll

[Anonymous No.22138710]

>open watership down
>it's not about the Titanic

[Anonymous No.22138711]

>>22131746
simp

[Anonymous No.22138895]

>>22131357
>Open Plato
>No mexican food recipes

[Anonymous No.22139475]

>>22131357
>Leaves of Grass
>is actually mostly wood pulp.

[Anonymous No.22139489]

>>22131426
He was a cringe anglophile, just like Borges and Murakami.

[Anonymous No.22139498]

>>22137930
Troy Monogatari if you will.

[Anonymous No.22139564]

>read the entire ouvre of Balzac
>ctrl+f3 'scrotum'
>zero results

[Anonymous No.22140089]

>open thread
>it''s not funny

[Anonymous No.22140093]

>Open The Borrowers
>They actually steal

[Anonymous No.22140685]

>open The Portrait of A Lady
>only words

>>22140089
>open ur ass
>its full of dick
shocking

[Anonymous No.22140759]

>open telephone book
>call someone

[Anonymous No.22140925]

>open The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz
>author gets bored and stops before writing the actual wedding scene

[Anonymous No.22140950]

>>22131437
Could Robinson Crusoe the first Light Novel Isekai?

On second thought Utopia might be a valid contender, but Crusoe has the style (main character stuck in a strange land) and the long title

[Anonymous No.22141796]

>Open Farenheit 451
>Everyone seems quite comfortable

[Anonymous No.22141969]

>1984
>author has no clue what year it is

[Anonymous No.22142057]

>>22140950
Nah that would be A True Story by Lucian of Samosata

[Anonymous No.22142116]

>>22132186
Based ANTR reader

[Anonymous No.22142124]

>open House of Leaves
>it's just infinite drywall

[Anonymous No.22142180]

>>22131426
No no, he had the soul but he didn't have the heart.

[Anonymous No.22142254]

>Les Miserables
>many characters don't get less miserable

[Anonymous No.22142270]

>open Othello
>they don't play the game even once in the story

[Anonymous No.22142343]

>>22131436
>Open Moby Dick
>No one is named Richard

[Anonymous No.22142365]

>open The Emperor of all Maladies
>it's not about this guy

[Anonymous No.22143067]

>Crack open a cold one with the boys
>Don't have any boys

[Anonymous No.22143098]

>>22132017
>>22132175
top of the keks. time to turn off /lit/

[Anonymous No.22143117]

>>22142365
>>22135626
>>22134736
>>22134081
>>22134045
>>22132149
>>22131761
>>22131746
kek these are funny
>>22143098
yep, same, although i feel like im maybe too focused on listening out for a reply to a message to get stuck into a book tonight. maybe better to watch a lecture on youtube or something... i saw some interesting ones about frances yates on youtube.

[Anonymous No.22143119]

>open lying about hitler
>whole book is full of lies about hitler

[Anonymous No.22143147]

>>22135956
Who, Mr. Savage?

[Anonymous No.22143333]

>>22131433
>>22131525
>>22131552
>>22131746
>>22132149
>>22132334
>>22134073
>>22135945
>>22138152
>>22141796
>>22142254
These are the funniest ones

[Anonymous No.22143358]

>see a mystery play
>there's no mystery

[Anonymous No.22143591]

>>22134081
thanks for the rare actual IRL kek

[Anonymous No.22145348]

>open Watchmen
>no homosexual voyeur

[Anonymous No.22145860]

>open Animal Farm
>go bankrupt since I don't know the business well

[Anonymous No.22145888]

>open The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
>he's from the US

[Anonymous No.22145916]

>>22135466
This.
We have been tricked, back stabbed, & quite possibly bamboozled.

[Anonymous No.22145918]

>>22145916
There shouldn't be a comma before the & symbol, retard.

[Anonymous No.22146549]

>Open Band of Brothers
>Oasis is not mentioned

[Anonymous No.22146676]

>>22131357
Catposters get the rope

[Anonymous No.22146689]

>>22131357
>open infinite jest
>finite number of pages

[Anonymous No.22146828]

>>22146689
The jest goes on after the book is finished

[Anonymous No.22146838]

>>22146549
>Nor is The Bee Gees
What the fuck.

[Anonymous No.22148798]

>>22145888
>open Tom Sawyer
>no synth solo in 7/8

[Anonymous No.22148829]

>>22131357
>opens The Road to Reality
>it leads to a cul-de-sac

[Anonymous No.22148921]

>open mein kampf
>it's actually about his kampf