/wg/ - Writing General

[Anonymous No.21979660]

"(you) Get Out What You Put-in" edition

Previous thread: >>21973641

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported. Cultivation posters should be firing squaded.

Simple guides on writing:
>https://youtu.be/pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://youtu.be/whPnobbck9s
>https://youtu.be/YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme:
>https://youtu.be/YEt41bYQBgE

[Anonymous No.21979686]

Don't forget to read. It really is one of the best ways to improve writing, besides writing itself.

[Anonymous No.21979704]

i saw someone post this earlier, how true is this chart? is description king?

[Anonymous No.21979729]

>>21979704
I wouldn't limit myself to it, it's all based off of the impression that you want to have. Sometimes it's good to introduce the big idea first, which is not necessarily a spoiler. I think in general description of some kind is the default. But the opening line is really trying to do a lot of different things at once, mainly to illustrate the themes and feeling of the book as a whole as well as open with some kind of compelling thought that raises a question.
There are some rare books that open like Ender's Game which have this white room feeling where you don't know who is talking. That is much harder to pull off, but again it has a lot to do with what story you are telling.

[Anonymous No.21979789]

>>21979704
They're tools. They have effects. You may or may not want those effects for any particular story. They all have their place though some are pretty niche if used well.
The alignment framing seems unhelpful.

[Anonymous No.21979924]

>>21979660
>Muh rules
Rules are like bucks, he smiled widely like some comedic mask. Rules are made to be broken.

[Anonymous No.21979939]

>>21979924
and sometimes, well, sometimes you get a peculiar buck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U51A_4bVg5A

[Anonymous No.21979983]

Autumn's furious chill attacked the shutters of Wilbur's apartment. The shutters rattled frantically against their latch, struggling to escape, much like the former occupants of this place. Twenty years ago, the Famine wiped out the population of downtown Detroit. Most didn't die -- they simply left, never to return. It was a cruelly fitting swan song for a city built from migration. The remnants were the scavengers, the grifters. Fire damage took down many of the structures that remained.

Then, He appeared.

Wilbur was one of the latecomers, so he could only find lodging at the edge of town. It was a rickety, forgotten bungalow which had avoided destruction by being in the middle of nowhere. The deed was lost, the Housing Committee told him. If he invested in upkeep, the property would be his to own.

But what a steep task. No gas, no electric. Most of the windows lacked panes and sported plywood coverings. The panes that survived lay hidden under wooden shutters that threatened to fly off at the slightest gust. So, they stayed latched.

Not all was hopeless. Tellus gave their employees a stipend for living costs, limited to $5000 a month. An employee living in the Renaissance complex could splash out on dinners or entertainment; this Wilbur spent on solar panels and house repairs.

With a few sunny days, Wilbur gained five minutes of scalding hot water. He didn't bother using this to shower; his showers were always cold and quick. Like him. He used the boiling water to heat up expired stews and other throwaways that would tide him over the rest of the week.

To prevent losing too much weight, he attended Ops department conferences each Monday after his shift. He was sure he came off diligent to his superiors, and some of the subject matter truly did interest him. But as he walked in, he made sure to grab a donut or five before sitting down. The extras he furtively wrapped in napkins and slid down his coat's inner pocket. He cringed as he felt glaze smear the pocket lining, knowing he'd have to wash it later. He also knew he had no choice.

[Anonymous No.21979996]

>>21979983
>Autumn's furious chill attacked
Dropped.

[Anonymous No.21980005]

>>21979996
AAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.21980008]

>>21980005
People say that about every opening line on 4chan. There's really no point posting anything here. Get thicker skin, incel.

[Anonymous No.21980014]

>>21980005
You put the pathetic in pathetic fallacy.

[Anonymous No.21980018]

>>21979996
>Autumn's furious chill
I read this and mistook the word for chili, and I was momentarily really digging it. This girl Autumn throwing a big pot of chili at the guy's windows. Then I reread it and realized what it actually said. Very disappointing.

[Anonymous No.21980027]

>>21980014
so is personification bad? i can't do it anymore because some dead guy said it's not cool?

[Anonymous No.21980034]

>>21980027
You can't do it anymore because you do it badly.

[Anonymous No.21980038]

>>21980027
bad writing is bad

[Anonymous No.21980042]

>>21980038
ok well i will keep that in mind :^)

[Anonymous No.21980055]

[Anonymous No.21980067]

>>21979983
Alright intro but could use some more description before jumping into the history. "Fire damage" I know is a term but my first impression was to laugh because it sounds like a lit RPG now.
Who is "He?" If it's someone important, why didn't you tell us? If it's Wilbur, drop the capitalization and maybe consider another way to describe how Wilbur appear. He doesn't sound like his reputation precedes him yet, Wilbur acts kind of milquetoast and not at all ominous at least from the impression so far. Except for the cold and quick showers makes hims sound a bit dangerous. If he actually is dangerous, there may be some better ways to first give this impression, than to compare him to a shower. Maybe I'm reading into it too much.
I do respect your attention to the famine not killing everybody but just being so economically difficult it made people leave.
Also lmao at putting a wrapped donut in his coat, I've done that plenty of times. Makes me feel like an animal.

[Anonymous No.21980079]

>>21980067
wilbur is a tragic character, he's weaker than his frame would indicate but he has a strong will to live. he's poor because he's paying child support and has to save money to visit his daughter. "He" is not wilbur, i leave that character a mystery almost until the end for the sake of worldbuilding. this is dystopian fiction but it's more of an exploration of the potential abuses of AI and how it will impact society as it becomes more intelligent

[Anonymous No.21980081]

>>21980000
Check emm...

[Anonymous No.21980091]

>>21980079
Sounds interesting. I would caution you then to mention "He" and then start talking about Wilbur. Try to talk a little bit a bout "Him" enough to make it clear that you're not talking about Wilbur. And I think if this is the intro, you have enough conflict already going on to not need to allude to a villain of any sort too soon. If you illustrate the struggles Wilbur has and then describe an inciting incident later, maybe making the danger "He" poses more immediate, I think it could be a winner.

[Anonymous No.21980108]

>>21980091
okay, i will clarify the passage

[Anonymous No.21980150]

Is Scrivener worth the fifty bucks?

[Anonymous No.21980158]

>>21980150
I am doing just fine with Word on two different screens. If you have really bad organizational skills it might be fine, but personally I just organize cross-references and other supplementary info in another document I can always reference by looking at my other screen.

[Anonymous No.21980173]

>>21980158
In that case, is Word worth it? I currently use libreoffice.

[Anonymous No.21980175]

Why didn't you guys tell me that Chinese literature was this based?

One day when the Chamberlain, master Tēng-t’u, was in attendance at the Palace he warned the King against Sung Yü, saying: “Yü is a man of handsome features and calm bearing and his tongue is prompt with subtle sentences. Moreover, his character is licentious. I would submit that your Majesty is ill-advised in allowing him to follow you into the Queen’s apartments.” The King repeated Tēng-t’u’s words to Sung Yü. Yü replied: “My beauty of face and calmness of bearing were given me by Heaven. Subtlety of speech I learnt from my teachers. As for my character, I deny that it is licentious.” The King said: “Can you substantiate your statement that you are not licentious? If you cannot, you must leave the Court.” Sung Yü said: “Of all the women in the world, the most beautiful are the women of the land of Ch’u. And in all the land of Ch’u there are none like the women of my own village. And in my village there are none that can be compared with the girl next door.

“The girl next door would be too tall if an inch were added to her height, and too short if an inch were taken away. Another grain of powder would make her too pale; another touch of rouge would make her too red. Her eyebrows are like the plumage of the kingfisher, her flesh is like snow. Her waist is like a roll of new silk, her teeth are like little shells. A single one of her smiles would perturb the whole city of Yang and derange the suburb of Hsia-ts’ai. For three years this lady has been climbing the garden wall and peeping at me, yet I have never succumbed.

“How different is the behaviour of master Tēng-t’u! His wife has a wooly head and misshapen ears; projecting teeth irregularly set; a crook in her back and a halt in her gait. Moreover, she has running sores in front and behind.

“Yet Tēng-t’u fell in love with her and caused her to bear him five children.

“I would have your Majesty consider which of us is the debauchee.”

Sung Yü was not dismissed from court.

[Anonymous No.21980192]

>>21980173
Well technically, I used Wordpad now. I hate signing in for Word outside of work because I dont have a workplace intranet at home. I don't want any "always online" thing reading my story, especially considering Word seems to make suggestions that what I write may be "wrong," it's got no business processing my writing. So my documents are offline and don't have all the features.

[Anonymous No.21980199]

>>21980192
>especially considering Word seems to make suggestions that what I write may be "wrong,"
HA. I tried grammarly since I was not confident in my grammar (now I mostly ignore spellcheck) but I got rid of it because I didn't think it made good suggestions at all and it got pissy when I wrote "slave", which it always told me to change to "enslaved person". I'm not interested in a program policing my speech.

[Anonymous No.21980206]

>>21980199
>it got pissy when I wrote "slave", which it always told me to change to "enslaved person"
it sounds like a joke but I know you're serious. also, to the anon with the perfectly working copy of libreoffice who wants to change some window dressing instead of simply buckling down and putting words on the page, see pic related

[Anonymous No.21980220]

I can't just force out a good idea, it has to come to me. Does anyone else have this problem? Whenever I just force myself to plot out a story and write it, it ends up being not so good. But when a story truly comes to me, I can make something wonderful. One time I was writing and I literally didn't feel like I was putting my words on paper. It almost felt like I was a vessel for the story to write itself. Bit pretentious, but that's how I felt.

[Anonymous No.21980228]

The clock is ticking. I got to turn out a 133 page crime novel before november starts.

[Anonymous No.21980241]

>>21980228
>36.5k words in 6 months
easy

[Anonymous No.21980246]

>>21979924
>>21979939
i would like to say i have hope for humanity. But today? Today not so much...

[Anonymous No.21980254]

>>21980150
> Is Scrivener worth the fifty bucks?
Yes if you put in the time to learn it. It is not a WYSIWYG editor or software even the brainless can use like Word.

[Anonymous No.21980263]

>>21980241
It's not about the word count. I want to win this really bad. It's the best shortcut to getting published. Last year's winner was such a fucking dud, so the bar is really low. But no idea seems good enough. I know I have it in me to tell a great story, but so far nothing seems to click.

[Anonymous No.21980269]

>>21980220
The writing experience you described was real, but it's when you resonate so strongly with what happened you feel that it's real. When it's real, you will dictate it naturally. I like to work myself about my story into something I am invested in myself, I want to care about the characters and learn more about them and how much the story matters to them.
If you want to have more creative output, think more often about the story elements that move you, things you think are cool. When was the last time you had a conversation that lasted hours? Start thinking about that topic and dig deeper. What are things in life that you've changed your mind about? Go back to that moment when you had to change. Times you felt an emotion, or saw someone experience something you want to portray? Relive the moment in writing. Tell me about the special places, the events, ideas and people. The creative part is making them your own, but underneath you know the archetype you've based it on. If you get stuck, ask a question about what you're stuck on. Keep asking and answering until you arrive on those compelling things that must be the case for your story.

[Anonymous No.21980273]

>>21980263
huh? is this about nanowrimo?

[Anonymous No.21980290]

>>21980273
No, it's a local contest in my country. A publishing company expects crime stories by November, and first place gets 5k prize and published. I'm not after the prize (though in this economy it would be nice), but I'm more after getting published, and proving myself. The last winner was so awful, that I just feel the need to do better. Not the first time this has happened. I won a screenplay contest, where I wrote a better version of a premise some famous writer wrote recently (The similarities end at the most basic plot setup, as I went in a totally different direction with it).

[Anonymous No.21980291]

>>21979704
Of course description is king. Show, don't tell.
What amuses me is my favorite beginning is mid-action-sequence, and I'm an anarchist at heart. Just so fitting.

[Anonymous No.21980304]

>>21980150
Not sure what it would give me that I don't already have.
I use a free, open-source outline editor called TreeLine to organize my ideas. It's capable of a lot more than I use it for.
I write my prose in a text editor, in Markdown format.
I then use pandoc to convert it to a LibreOffice document, suitable for making e-books or paperbacks.
I save all my fiction using the git version-control system, which works really well with text (i.e. Markdown).
If someone can explain what Scrivener can do that the above can't, I'm all ears.

[Anonymous No.21980308]

>>21980220
Yeah...that's called a "flow state".
I can only do it when I'm rested and unstressed.
Stupid day jobbery.

[Anonymous No.21980314]

>>21980308
I can only do it when I haven't slept for a long time, I get a bunch of caffeine in me, and it's the middle of the night.

[Anonymous No.21980319]

>>21980290
Well do you have any ideas? Have you read some of the classics in the genre?

[Anonymous No.21980364]

[Anonymous No.21980366]

>>21980314
Isaac Newton used to do that.
But he didn't have a day job...damn rich fucker.

[Anonymous No.21980398]

>>21980319
I don't have any specific ideas for the main plot. All I know is what I want and don't want to do.
>I don't want it to be a whodunnit detective story
They want crime fiction, and if a law is broken in the story, it is crime fiction. No detective has to show up, and there doesn't have to be a big twist.
>I want there to be a strong theme
I don't want it just to be about finding out how the killing happened and who did it. I want there to be a strong theme that ties it all together.
>I don't want the characters to be a basic group consisting of a detective, killer and a couple of red herrings
I want there to be a deep dive into the character psychology, and for there to be actual development over the course of the story.
>And finally, I don't want it just to be a contest novel, I want it to be a real piece of literature
Every contest winning novel that I read so far, felt less like real literature, and more like something someone made specifically to try their luck at a contest. I want my story to have value outside of getting the win.

[Anonymous No.21980402]

>>21980175
So he's saying fucking an ugly wife is more leacherous than refraining from not fucking a hot girl?

[Anonymous No.21980455]

>>21980398
One novel I've read that sounds like what you're describing is "Make Room! Make Room!" by Harry Harrison.
It's the novel on which the movie "Onions Green" was based.
Although it's a detective story, it's more of an exploration of a world choked with overpopulation, and the effect it has on people and the culture.
I'm sure you could find a theme, other than overpopulation, to serve as a firm backdrop to whatever crime-fiction story you want to write.
The whodunit in that novel has a really odd twist, too. Given your distaste for whodunit, you might really like it.

[Anonymous No.21980462]

>>21980455
>Onions Green
Argh...what's with the censorship?
It's not "onions", it's "s-o-y-l-e-n-t".
What exactly is the logic for censoring that word?
And when the hell did 4chan start censoring anyway?
Reddit is starting to look better.

[Anonymous No.21980474]

>>21980462
The S word is censored and has been for a long time on I believe every board other than /ck/. Faggots couldn't help but spam it, much like cuck, which I believe is only filtered if it is a capital C. And no, Reddit is a shithole.

[Anonymous No.21980496]

>>21980474
At least Reddit admits to their censorship.

[Anonymous No.21980528]

>>21980496
plebbit is the king of shadowbans

[Anonymous No.21980536]

>>21980455
Thanks for the recommendation. Also, I don't have a distaste for whodunit stories, I just feel like doing one would be both playing it safe, and not being very original (all the masters of the genre have already done better ones). I want a more free form to explore crime. One theme I have in mind is the modern day parasocialism.

[Anonymous No.21980539]

>>21980398
So you want to write Crime and Punishment.
In all seriousness, maybe come up with the theme or idea to explore first and then create the characters around that. Or maybe just twist around genre elements until you find a direction you like.
For example - the detective normally has the skill and desire to solve a crime. What if you tweak that and have someone who actively wants to keep it a secret. Have someone learn something morally grey and explore what they decide to do with that information. Maybe an officer has tracked down a serial killer only to discover the villain has been following an algorithm that can predict baby Hitlers. I'm just spitballing, hope it gave you some ideas.

[Anonymous No.21980558]

>>21980398
>They want crime fiction, and if a law is broken in the story, it is crime fiction.
make it a completely ridiculous crime that is taken extra, extra seriously. something like someone sneaking onto his property and stealing 1 chicken egg every day. he gets paranoid and questions himself - maybe the chicken just stopped laying that extra egg?
in the course of investigating the mc finds evidence of all sorts of other real crimes, murder, rape, extortion, treason, etc. but brushes them all off because that's not what he's concerned about. at the end there's the big reveal where everyone is in the room and he goes though the list of crimes, and basically implicates everyone, but downplays it, and then he gets to the one crime he cares about and points the finger at the last person in the room. the cops then arrest everyone else except that person. he gets all sorts of accolades for cracking all the other cases, but the one he cares about is dismissed and he's pissed off because the egg thief got off scot free

[Anonymous No.21980661]

Anons, help me name a character. She's a doctor in French Algiers who is mentally ill

[Anonymous No.21980696]

>>21980661
Eloise, alt spelling Heloise

[Anonymous No.21980738]

>>21979686
I began this year reading a classic, cycling through short story collections, reading old pulp novels, and reading nonfiction. Helps jumble my exposure.

[Anonymous No.21980748]

>>21980220
Read this.

[Anonymous No.21980874]

>>21980661
Antoinette La Touf

[Anonymous No.21980897]

You did write your 2000 daily words today, right /wg/?

[Anonymous No.21980941]

>>21979660
Who wrote this garbage OP? How am I supposed to share writing if I can't share it according to this fucking dumb OP?

[Anonymous No.21980947]

>>21980897
Even better. Did about 7000 words in one sitting. These writelets can't even cope.

[Anonymous No.21980950]

>>21980947
Anime writer detected.

[Anonymous No.21981009]

>>21980950
I write at least 1000/hour no matter what I'm writing, whether it be Southern Gothic, pastiche, comedy, high fantasy, postmodern, modernist. Maybe you just suck.

[Anonymous No.21981055]

Working a nuke outage and it takes up all my time. I can hardly wait until I get my check and can take a couple of weeks off and write.

[Anonymous No.21981153]

>>21981009
>pastiche
Thank you for teaching me something I did not know. I have heard the word used before but never knew its true meaning.
Can you also please give me a written example of your thousand words? with or without editing is fine.

[Anonymous No.21981201]

Wrote this silly little poem in about 2 minutes before I went to bed:

May the 1st treat you right,
With brighter mornings
And a shorter night.

May the 10th make it good,
On the promises made
Just like it should.

May the 15th give no cause,
To look back
At long-closed doors.

May the 23rd be so kind,
To the faces with smiles
That they lined.

May the 31st feel fulfilled,
About the days
And hours and minutes killed.

[Anonymous No.21981269]

>>21981201
I like it anon

[Anonymous No.21981418]

>>21980398
I don't know what country you live and what your laws are like, but here in the US, we have a type of legal doctrine called "strict liability." It makes it so that if you take certain actions, you're automatically guilty of a certain crime. We don't typically use it in crim law, most of our crimes have required mental states (did you intend to murder him? Did you recklessly run him over? etc.), but there's one type of murder that (technically) has no mental state requirement: felony-murder. Basically, if you commit a felony and someone dies, you go to jail for murder. If you're with a group of like 5 dudes, you rob a convenience store, and one dude goes nuts and shoots the cashier, *everyone* goes to jail for first degree murder. This is why the cameraman in the ahmaud arbery case got charged with murder.
Felony-murder is such a strange crime, and I feel like its ripe for writing a story about, especially from the perspective of one of these coconspirators who gets put away forever when all they intended to do was rob a store. Of course, they're a felon and a criminal either way, because they had to do the underlying crime in the first place, but does committing a mere felony make it ok to put you away forever as a murderer? Do we just not care if they're being treated unjustly because they already committed a felony? You could explore the psychology of the offender and/or use the piece as a critique about society.

[Anonymous No.21981531]

Last night as I was falling asleep I got a divine flash of inspiration... the sentences I wrote are more suited to poetry than prose, but I don't write or read poetry and I don't like free verse. I don't know what to do with them but they are too good to waste bros

[Anonymous No.21981626]

>>21981269
Ta friend

[Anonymous No.21981669]

Querying and so far two agents have gotten back to me saying something along the lines of "Thanks, I'll read this and get back to you."

This is, from my experience, really good. Most of the time they just reject you or don't reply at all. They won't usually send you an email telling you they're going to read the material. Have any of you experienced this?

[Anonymous No.21981694]

>>21979660

Writer’s Warning
The tales you’ll hear going forward really occurred in the Northern Settlement of Naruan. Recently taken by the Conquistadors, it is a coastal district filled with industrial labor, estates and villages. A lot of powerful and wealthy people live here: politicians, merchants, builders, traders, sailors... Its culture is rich and its heritage even more so. For the most part, people are humble and familial with good intentions to help their neighbors. However, it’s in places like these where the true vermin wreak havoc.
I’ve found in my chronicling of Naruan and the Bloody Wedding how far people go to hide their sins, faults and atrocities. It became clear to me that humans aren’t intelligent monkeys. Really, they are only monkeys intelligent enough to fool themselves to think that they are not monkeys. There is something even more dangerous than the people themselves, though.
For whatever reason, Naruan is an island where ancient magic courses through its very veins. Like a lot of the nature that surrounds us, some of the magic is beautiful and downright fantastical. There is other magic, though, that like a feral dog will bite your arm clean off, even if your intention was only to pet and feed it. This is a story of a young man who not only wanted to pet and feed the feral dog, but to keep it.
For obvious reasons I will not disclose my name nor do I have any interest in doing so. Sin embargo, the names in this story have not been changed and due to the nature of its content, I sincerely hope none of the… “less agreeable” people in this humble strip of land find out about my writings. And I hope they don’t find you reading this, either.

You have been warned.

-Anonymous

[Anonymous No.21981701]

>>21981694
This is a small intro before the actual story begins in my WIP. I thought it'd be cool to sort of give a brief introduction as the anonymous writer of a historical document. Took this idea straight off of The Dragonbone Chair by Tad Williams where he gives a similar warning in the beginning. I feel like the commentary on humans is a bit pseudo-philosophical so I'm on the fence for it.

[Anonymous No.21982021]

>>21980897
i actually did write 2000 words yesterday. it doesn't feel like a milestone honestly. i'm just tired

[Anonymous No.21982122]

A warning sign for me as a reader is when an author cannot even bother to name their chapters.

[Anonymous No.21982137]

>>21981669
Wait until they find out you’re a white male

[Anonymous No.21982144]

>>21981531
Chippity chop them into stanzas and bust some rhymes anon.

[Anonymous No.21982295]

>>21982122
naming chapters is pretentious
especially if it's the type of book to have 40+ chapters all less than 3k words each. especially if it's more like 1500 words each. i'd rather die than read shit like that

[Anonymous No.21982316]

>>21982137
they already know. my socials are attached to my query letter since having a social media following matters to these fucks

[Anonymous No.21982400]

>>21982122
>>21982295
Chapter naming seems more of a tone thing to me. Like the chapter title is a bit of a teaser/framing device so if you want to add context or sense of scale it can be good like epic fantasy or any 1st person retrospective seem like good fits. But for suspense, thriller, mystery, or character study type focus it may make less sense. I've done it both ways based on gut feel.

[Anonymous No.21982410]

>>21982400
>genreshit

[Anonymous No.21982417]

>>21982144
Thanks, anon. Do you think one can write poetry without actually reading it and knowing the conventions? I've only ever read Poe and some of Shakespeare for pleasure; everything else was for school when I was younger.

[Anonymous No.21982430]

>>21982410
1st person retrospective and character study are genres? You obviously have no interest in talking actual craft you boring mongoloid. I doubt you're even writing "muh literary fic" yourself

[Anonymous No.21982445]

>>21982430
>genreshit toddler

[Anonymous No.21982534]

>>21980108
i decided to rewrite the entire chapter from another character's perspective, and he's better able to add description and wordbuilding. also i'm adding biblical references because i'm a hack (muh literary subtext muh PKD influence)

[Anonymous No.21982570]

In a high fantasy setting, is it acceptable to sometimes use 'okay' and 'alright'? Such as 'it's okay' or 'it's alright'?

[Anonymous No.21982583]

>>21979686
I took a 2 year break from writing so I could focus on reading to try to figure out what makes my favorite books click. I took screenshots/notes of my favorite sections, lines, etc. It was totally worth it. I feel my writing has improved significantly in terms of prose, characters and overall quality.

[Anonymous No.21982591]

I'm having a brain fart about proper past tense usage in context of a continuing state through to the future.

>He knew that every time he had met someone with a fake hand, and learned about it by shaking their hand, it had been more off putting than seeing it first. A cybernetic hand simply didn’t squeeze like a human hand, and there was no way to fix that. The joints couldn’t be engineered to squeeze and collapse the way knuckle bones do. Even with temperature matching and just the slightest film of oil, it couldn’t escape the uncanny valley. And yet, Miccolo had stopped at nothing to replicate humanity, a million times more complicated than the sculptors of old.

specifically
>The joints couldn’t be engineered to squeeze and collapse the way knuckle bones do.

My gut wrote 'do' but my brain is saying it should be 'did'

[Anonymous No.21982600]

>>21982570
I'd be put off if the king of the elves said it. If Po Dun the dirt farmer, Sally Dee the waitress says it, then whatever

[Anonymous No.21982603]

>>21982583
Any particular takeaways you can share?

[Anonymous No.21982607]

>>21982570
Depends on the style, if you're going for older style of prose or dialogue, then no, but you could still use "all right", though it is still fairly pedestrian a term.

[Anonymous No.21982646]

Are there any stories where the writer conveys s his perspective through the antagonist, rather than the protagonist?

[Anonymous No.21982659]

>>21982646
stories with a villain lead? sure

[Anonymous No.21982667]

>>21982659
Not necessarily. We still follow the hero, but the hero's perspective is the opposite of the one the author agrees with. Maybe they're portrayed as naive idealists or something like that.

[Anonymous No.21982691]

>>21979660
Do you guys listen to music while you write?

[Anonymous No.21982695]

>>21982691
Yes.

[Anonymous No.21982698]

>>21982667
my story is somewhat like that but i don't want to spoil it

[Anonymous No.21982720]

>>21982691

[Anonymous No.21982726]

>>21982698
All good, I respect that.

[Anonymous No.21982745]

First draft. Barely edited:

Lavender. If I were to make any statement on the smell of that place, it would most certainly be that of lavender. Her room was about what you would expect for someone in their early 20s. Completely average, with neatly folded clothes stacked on pastiche-ridden shelves; and a slightly pungent aroma that coated almost every part of the decor.

Moreover, the personality that she possessed was that of a naive dreamer. Corrosive to both mind and soul, nevertheless comforting in times of need. When it came to her appearance, a general modesty was communicated through her choice of clothing; a common gray chiffon blouse combined with regular jeans, and a pair of slightly worn out white sneakers.

She was also the owner of vibrant green tinted eyes, sand colored hair, and pale luminescent skin of that which would give off a certain spectral aura if viewed under a certain light. In other words, there was nothing special about this woman besides her distinct physical features. I was then like many other men who endures the affliction of stumbling upon a beautiful woman, utterly obsessed.

The reason for my visit was to help her with a set of homework problems, one of many other instances. Tension would usually linger as we worked through each part of our assignment. The thought of “what could be” permeated the inner layers of my mind, making it increasingly difficult to remain lucid as day shifted into night.

In the end though, nothing would ever happen. This time would be different.

Cascading rays of light trickled down her lunar complexion, forming a riotous arrangement of pastel tinted tones. A numbing feeling took hold of me. The undercurrent of lust murmured as each minute passed. She turned her head to me. Lounging in my chair, I tried to focus on the matter at hand by not making direct eye contact.

Her piercing stare did not falter as I centered the conversation on a particular math problem. I could feel a passionate resolve coming from her. In hope of establishing some mutual enthusiasm, I leaned forward and reciprocated the stare. An ephemeral pause took place.

The numbness released itself and reshaped into a lingering suspense in the upper part of my abdomen. Her pupils were dilated, indicating a closing of the chasm that previously separated the more visceral aspects between us. She leaned forward, promising with her stature, the essence of paradise. I closed my eyes, and took the leap.

[Anonymous No.21982747]

>>21982691
Sometimes, but I feel like half the time it bothers me more than it helps. So a lot of the times, I use earplugs. Music mostly gets me inspired when I'm stuck or lazy.

Also, always instrumental music without words. Never words.

[Anonymous No.21982759]

>>21982726
my story follows multiple pov characters and one of them is the antagonist. but he is sympathetic and the protagonists make plenty of mistakes so they seem like antagonists themselves. i don't like black and white morality. the narrative is a tragedy with a hopeful ending so it's not just emotional torture porn that pretends to be profound because i hate those types of novels too.

[Anonymous No.21982774]

>>21982745
There is odd word choice in here and consistent misuse of commas and semicolons. "I was like many other men who endures" is wrong.

[Anonymous No.21982786]

>>21982759
Yeah I love stories that understand and play with perspective the most.

[Anonymous No.21982797]

>>21982745
>Barely edited
I'm not reading it, then. This goes to everyone who preemptively tries to excuse and shield themselves with pithy excuses like these: if you can't be arsed to read your writing twice, or you can but are trying to soften criticism, I'm not going to put more effort than you have.

[Anonymous No.21982820]

>>21982797
I'll accept the fact that it's probably dogshit, chill.

[Anonymous No.21982828]

>>21982591
Since the rest of the sentence is past tense I think "did" flows better.

[Anonymous No.21982834]

>>21982774
Could you give an example on how i can improve my odd word choices?

[Anonymous No.21982856]

>>21982583
How is taking screenshots of sections and lines from books you've read supposed to help? It won't do anything. It's not like you can rewrite the lines that moved you so much, then that will be considered cOpYinG and you'll be considered a hack by the literary circle-jerking faggots.

[Anonymous No.21982858]

>>21982856
i did this recently and it's not just taking screenshots, it's analyzing what the author reveals and when in order to maximize tension. what beats they use. storycraft

[Anonymous No.21982920]

>>21982745
The best advice I can give is that you hamper the tension in your last paragraph with limiting words and passive voice.
>Her pupils were dilated, indicating a closing of the chasm that previously separated the more visceral aspects between us.
These two "distance creators" between the reader and the action occur throughout the passage, but you don't have to get rid of it all. In fact, you can utilize it properly in the build-up to give the last paragraph even more intimacy and punch.

[Anonymous No.21982931]

>>21982834
"Lavender. If I were to make any statement on the smell of that place, it would most certainly be that of lavender." Just say "Her room smelled like lavender." No one says "permeated the inner layers of my mind" or "general modesty was communicated". These phrases aren't deep. They're redundant and annoying to read. Good diction means knowing the right word to use, not adding useless ones.

[Anonymous No.21982947]

>>21982745
>Her room was about what you would expect for someone in their early 20s. Completely average, with neatly folded clothes stacked on pastiche-ridden shelves; and a slightly pungent aroma that coated almost every part of the decor.
So I wouldn't expect a clean room from a girl in her 20's. pastiche is the wrong word. you should reuse the word lavender when talking about the aroma.
>Moreover, the personality that she possessed was that of a naive dreamer.
>She was also the owner of vibrant green tinted eyes,
you don't possess a personality and you don't own eyes. I know what you're saying, that's not the right way to say it
>and pale luminescent skin of that which would give off a certain spectral aura if viewed under a certain light
I have no idea what you're talking about
> I was then like many other men who endures the affliction of stumbling upon a beautiful woman, utterly obsessed.
affliction is the wrong word in the way you've phrased this. you could reword it so it would be the correct word, but not as it's written
>Tension would usually linger as we worked through each part of our assignment.
tension doesn't linger
>The thought of “what could be” permeated the inner layers of my mind
so he's an ogre. his mind has layers. note: minds don't have layers. lucid is also the wrong word
>Cascading rays of light trickled down her lunar complexion, forming a riotous arrangement of pastel tinted tones.
awful. I want to vomit. and it doesn't make sense, she's pale I don't know what a lunar complexion is.
>The undercurrent of lust murmured as each minute passed
what does lust feel like? how about you describe that
I'm not going to bother with the rest. What can I say? Lavender. A whole barrel of purple plum lavender dumped into the porcelain bathtub, spilling all over the floor and causing tens of thousands of dollars in required repairs.
And another note, women don't have piercing stares unless they're pissed at you.

[Anonymous No.21982989]

>>21982856
You don't copy sentences but you can learn technique. It's not magic, it's not divine inspiration, it's a craft.
You can pick a sentence you like apart and notice the rhythm given to it by the punctuation. You can see how the humor comes from something pointed out by the narrator that neither of the characters themselves understand. You can feel how an unusual word choice enhances the tone. You can notice that that the joke is structured to land at the very last word, like a punchline. (This is all from one sentence I screenshotted once.)
Applying that to your own writing isn't going to get you called a hack fraud.

[Anonymous No.21983014]

America after the Famine was a political morass. A single wrong glance or misstep would’ve sent the company crashing down. The public resented his father for… many reasons he couldn’t argue with.

Some pundits believed that the son would be more of the same. That he had inherited the sins of his father.

Marc chided himself to not take it personally. The media had spread vicious rumors about his family for decades, things he dared not repeat. He long ceased to be perceived as an individual in the court of public opinion. Now he'd morphed into a litmus test: either the embodiment of evil or supreme, admirable good. What scared him the most lately was that he no longer cared.

Now Mom and Dad were gone. No one else could even check Marc's authority, much less save him from himself. Not the subordinates who depended on him and barely knew him. Definitely not the fashion model wife who slept in a separate mansion. Not even his own cabinet members, who thirsted for an excuse to take the company public.

That's why he wore the mask -- perfected it -- since he was a boy.

Marc trusted no one, but if he had to choose, he trusted his driver the most. His chauffeur Sal was an elderly black man who used to play poker with his father, back when Marc Sr. was just a boy himself. Junior had played some hands against Sal and busted out more often than not. But each round taught him a valuable lesson. Sal still teased him at times, which he welcomed.

Learn your opponent, Marc thought. Find their range.

Marc took in his surroundings. The press had begun to surround the limo and shout inane questions about the future of the company. Anything to get a reaction.

The H.COMP on his wrist projected a stream of the morning's weather report: chilly and overcast. Latest news: Telos Systems opens new global headquarters. The live shot settled on the limo he now sat in.

"You ready, MJ?" Sal turned to look at him.

"Born ready." Marc flashed a genuine smile. No, he wished he could be anywhere but here. But Sal knew that.

With just a thought, Marc's H.COMP fell silent. The neural chip worked like a dream.

My father's dream, he mused.

CEO Marc Girard Jr. stepped out into the care of his protection detail, which had formed a protective wall in front of the car door. They always arrived first and separately from him; he liked to ride alone.

A plucky female reporter knuckled her way to the front of the crowd. She was stout and plain-faced, but Marc would recognize her anywhere. Essie Price, one of the most credible journalists on the Open Net. She reported for Pear Daily, whose parent company was Telos’ competitor in cyber aug. No doubt she recognized the historic importance of this moment. She would throw him a hardball.

"Marc! Thoughts on Stafford calling you a 'culture vulture' for pushing out the last of the Big Three from Detroit?" Price shouted as he filed past.

All of Marc's PR training told him to ignore her.

(1/2)

[Anonymous No.21983019]

>>21983014

What use is your clean image if you never exploit it? Marc pondered. True, you fold now, you risk nothing. But then you open yourself to attack by being too predictable.

Marc stopped and turned to Price. The press surged around him more fervently, his security detail struggling to keep them back.

"I have to ask, what good is a company that refuses to innovate and coasts on its former glory?" Marc shouted to her over the commotion. She steadied her microphone, which bore a stylized drawing of a pear with bite marks. Price maintained intense eye contact, always the consummate professional.

If she’s smart, she knows this is a gift. Marc thought. Tell Pear to stay off my back.

"Right now, General Motors the symbol is worth more than General Motors the company. Symbols can't put food on the table. My company will."

The commotion grew louder. Price shouted a follow-up question that couldn't be heard. Security ushered Marc away from the crowd and towards reception.

(2/2)

[Anonymous No.21983054]

>>21983014
I like it! Gonna nitpick the prose a bit.
Some of your tenses are off: "He long ceased" ("He had long ceased"), "why he wore the mask" ("why he had worn the mask").
The shift to first person thoughts is awkward to read, but it might work if you italicize it. Or you can turn it to third person paraphrasings, since you already do that for some of Marc's other thoughts. Either change could perhaps let you get rid of some of the "he mused", " he pondered" tags.

[Anonymous No.21983072]

>>21983054
how do i italicize on lit? the internal monologue is italicized in my word document. okay, i will fix the tenses.

[Anonymous No.21983075]

>>21982947
Ok, thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous No.21983084]

>>21983072
>how do i italicize on lit?
You don't. You could maybe put * or / around it as a marker.
>the internal monologue is italicized in my word document
Ah, good!

[Anonymous No.21983089]

>>21983014
I don't like morass even though the definition fits. It's more that it brings to mind a swamp, which isn't really what you're conveying. The problem though, is that you start talking about America, and then immediately jump to his company. How about
>After the Famine everything was unstable, socially, politically and financially. A single wrong glance or misstep could've sent his father's company crashing down.
>The public had resented his father for a great many reasons he couldn't argue with. Some pundits believed the son would be more of the same; that he'd inherited the sins of his father. The media had spread vicious rumors about his family over the decades, things he dared not repeat. He long ceased to be perceived as an individual in the court of public opinion. Now he'd morphed into a litmus test: either the embodiment of evil or supreme, admirable good. What scared him the most lately was that he no longer cared.
>Now with Mom and Dad gone no one could check Marc's authority, much less save him from himself. Not the subordinates who depended on him and barely knew him, not the Board members, who thirsted to take the company public, and certainly not the fashion model trophy wife who slept in a separate city in a separate estate.

[Anonymous No.21983135]

>>21982931
Thanks

[Anonymous No.21983140]

Rate my prose.

[Anonymous No.21983146]

>>21983089
i really like your re-write. i won't copy it word for word.

[Anonymous No.21983157]

>>21983140
>spam/flooding

[Anonymous No.21983158]

>>21983140
>Reaching for the coffee pot, the handle is well-worn and used
>It still does the trick, filling it with water and pouring it into the machine
dangling modifiers. dropped

[Anonymous No.21983163]

>>21983146
Feel free to do so, but I wouldn't expect you to. It's to help jog your own creative process because you've probably been looking at your same prose for who knows how many passes, and a fresh perspective can do wonders.

The other line I disliked that I removed was
>Marc chided himself to not take it personally. In disclosure the reason I removed it is because I don't want him even thinking he shouldn't take it personally. And also it didn't seem to fit in that spot.

[Anonymous No.21983185]

>>21982989
okay then what are some examples of noteworthy crafty sentences that you'd take example from? What's the difference between a well written sentence and a bad sentence?

[Anonymous No.21983194]

>>21983140
>the handle on the coffee pot is well worn and used
what? how? it's plastic I dunno how many coffee pots you've run though in your life, but I've never had to buy a new one because the handle got worn
you change from active voice to passive voice after the semi colon which makes it read awkwardly
>Ken remembers to double the number of scoops his girlfriend brews with
makes no sense. why would he use his girlfriends coffee habits as the benchmark for his own?
finally, this better not be the start of the story. there's no reason won't put it back on the shelf after reading the excerpt. there's no hook

[Anonymous No.21983205]

>>21983194
it's the opening lines from The Shitkickers by Jason Bryan, a hilariously terrible novel that he keeps shilling despite the mods deleting it every time

[Anonymous No.21983294]

>>21982920
>Le passive voice
Doesn't exist. Nobody can define it. Stop spreading misinformation.

[Anonymous No.21983295]

First sentence for my novel:

The day was a swirl of colors, as if a unicorn had sneezed rainbows across the blue of the sky.

[Anonymous No.21983305]

>>21983295
I don't like it, and not because its a bad image, I like the image it's funny, but as an opening sentence it sucks. And "The day was a swirl of colors" makes no sense. It would be infinitely better if it was simply
>A unicorn sneezed rainbows across the blue of the sky.
But I still don't know if that's a good opener.

[Anonymous No.21983312]

>>21983295
You can have the imagery of rainbows colouring a blue sky without needing to reference a unicorn.

[Anonymous No.21983347]

>>21983295
The impression I get from the line is that your story will have humor in it and not too serious. You know personally, I don't like to write first lines anymore. I wait until I finish the story and know how it ends. Then I will have a better picture to tell you how it starts, because that is itself a promise of what they are about to read. Also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWqJTKdznaM

[Anonymous No.21983411]

>>21983295
It doesn't offer me anything to think about. Just scenery is a bad way to start

[Anonymous No.21983682]

>>21983294
Terminology doesn't change the fact that certain words put space between the reader and the scene. stop trying to take a shit on concrit unless you provide something helpful in return.

[Anonymous No.21983699]

i don't even know why i wrote this but it felt like the right thing to do. now this character (marc) is supposed to be a foil of my protag so my protag is going to be a noble incel for the rest of the story :^)

[Anonymous No.21983729]

>>21983682
The failure of English grammars to describe the passive adequately is partly due to a centuries-old tradition of talking about English grammar as if English were typologically similar to Latin, the international language of higher learning at the time when grammatical study of English began. Latin had morphologically distinguishable infinitives, gerunds, gerundives, present participles, subjunctives, future tense forms, and passives, all with their particular endings on the verb. English has none of this, but is traditionally described as if it did.
It is not verbs that exhibit passive voice in English, but larger units. The verb in a passive clause like She has been questioned by the detectives is exactly the same as the one in the active clause The detectives have questioned her. Passive clauses are marked by the use of devices (participial inflections and accompanying verbs) that have other uses too. To construct an adequately general description of passive constructions we need to focus not on the verb but on larger units, specifically the verb phrase (VP) and the clause.
There are at least two obvious ways of making a direct claim about the universal admiration for Anne’s scholarship within the department: the active transitive like this
>Everyone in the department admires Anne’s scholarship
and the passive counterpart like this
>Anne’s scholarship is admired by everyone in the department.
The second sentence illustrates the most familiar and neutral kind of passive clause. The main clause verb is a form of the verb be, and it has a past-participial VP complement. The direct object noun phrase (NP) of the first example appears as the subject of the second, and the subject of the first example appears within the VP of the second as the complement in a preposition phrase (PP).
Thus in a sense two NPs exchange syntactic positions: the subject of the first example appears as an internal complement within the VP in the second, and vice versa. Yet the core meanings are the same, in the sense that if the first one is true, then so is the second, and conversely.
The usage literature talks about the roles in semantic terms that seem quite peculiar, frequently claiming that “the subject receives the action expressed by the verb” in a passive. This strange locution “receives the action” is found solely in the thousands of mutually plagiarizing bad descriptions of the passive construction. The whole notion of “action” is irrelevant here anyway: no action is expressed or implied by passive clauses like
>Not much is known by biologists about the coelacanth.
>It was alleged by the committee that the dean was incompetent.
>That capitalism works is no longer doubted by anyone.
In none of these does the subject denote anything that could conceivably be said to “receive” or be targeted by an action: in example 2 it is a dummy pronoun and in 3 it is not even an NP, but rather a clause.

[Anonymous No.21983773]

>>21983729
Based. Thank you for saving me from having to repost my long rant about midnight dinner at Lord Fozzlebottom's from the last round of anti-passive parroting.

[Anonymous No.21983789]

>>21982122
I got all my chapters named.

[Anonymous No.21983805]

>>21982122
I unironically intend to spell out a message with the chapter names

[Anonymous No.21983828]

>>21982122
When in doubt, I name my chapters like Moby Dick does

[Anonymous No.21983829]

>>21983805
How very Gardner-esque.

[Anonymous No.21983835]

>>21983829
Who?

[Anonymous No.21983838]

>>21983828
Do you think there is a value to naming chapters the way Blood Meridian does, where it summarizes each scene from the start of the chapter? It seems like a gutsy thing to do. But there are plenty of older books that do the same. Why do you think McCarthy did it, was it for convenience? Did he want the reader to be filled with dread or suspense rather than be surprised?

[Anonymous No.21983839]

>>21983835

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-eio7tevk&t=1s

[Anonymous No.21983876]

>>21983829
> KABBALAH of the crocodile
holy fuck. i laughed.

[Anonymous No.21983881]

>>21983876
It's literally Gardner's new book. I shit you not. Gis new book is actually a horror novel about why he thinks jews are scary.

[Anonymous No.21983942]

>>21983881
is it the genital mutilation?
or the usury?
or the believing they're the chosen people and everyone else is their slaves?

[Anonymous No.21983964]

>>21983942
The third. The Jews are worshiping the devil in the book and trying to make all gentiles in it Noahides by convincing them Christianity is the real religion but according to the book the God of the jews is actually just the devil. It's the most extreme book in existence.

[Anonymous No.21983972]

>>21980536
Then you should definitely check out "Make Room! Make Room!" by Harry Harrison.
In it, overpopulation is dealt with by a strong central government that tells people how to live.
You may find it inspirational, as well as a guide on what's been done before (i.e. what to avoid repeating).

[Anonymous No.21983973]

>>21983964
wow I didn't know F. Gardner branched out into non fiction. good on him

[Anonymous No.21983980]

>>21983973
It's fiction. Pulp horror fiction like all his other books. But this one is particularly insane

[Anonymous No.21983982]

>>21980941
That's been the OP for months.
Why do you think you can't share your writing?
People do that here all the time.

[Anonymous No.21983992]

Is it wrong that some of my best writing gets done out of spite?
>Be me
>Hang around some actors who were discussing an upcoming play
>I vaguely know of the author, since he was one of my mom's students
>I hear about the synopsis of the play
>It's about a man who gets an android maid, and his wife is not happy with it
>They talked about how the idea is nice, how there is a lot of comedy, and how it's a commentary on men wanting easily controllable women
>I felt disgusted that they were praising something so lame sounding
>So I went home and wrote a film screenplay, based on a similar "wife-husband-female android" dynamic
>Only instead of comedy, I went deep into the themes of the fading value of being human, when we can make humans ourselves
>My screenplay won second place at a film festival
>The actors who I mentioned earlier, read it, and praised it
I did well, because I was motivated by spite. I have a feeling I'm not the first author to lash out at someone else's work? Anyway, since the screenplay only requires three people and one mansion, I intend to call in some favors and turn it into a film soon.

[Anonymous No.21984001]

>>21983980
>this one is particularly insane
I suppose that's technically true because the jew's god doesn't actually exist.

[Anonymous No.21984027]

>two weeks on Royal Road,
>680 views
>4 follows
>1 favorite
>0 ratings
It's time to take it down and delete isn't it?

[Anonymous No.21984034]

>>21984027
with that attitude, you were never gonna make it

[Anonymous No.21984035]

>>21984027
If it's genretrash? Yes.

[Anonymous No.21984039]

>>21984027
link it. what's your premise? is your prose... prosing?

[Anonymous No.21984040]

>>21984027
>2 months on wattpad
>3 views per part at most

[Anonymous No.21984043]

>>21983982
>Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported. Cultivation posters should be firing squaded.
What if I'm posting stuff from a link? I don't mean to shill but it would make sense to show the webnovel and then people can click on the other chapters if they need to be filled in on who people are.

[Anonymous No.21984044]

>>21983992
transhumanism is evil and you're a hack. but good job on getting the attention you wanted.

[Anonymous No.21984049]

Got home from work and poured out 2000 words, time to go to sleep. I'm actually a bit surprised. I know the descriptions will need work but I'm having fun with the characters and didn't expect I had much Southern wit. I hear smart aleck comments often enough that I can pepper the story with some humor, at least while the humor is appropriate. I did look at one and realize it made zero sense the first time I wrote it, so I have to be careful.

[Anonymous No.21984052]

>>21984043
Nobody is going to care about any genretrash webnovel you post enough to check out several chapters. Just post the passage you want us to polish for you.

[Anonymous No.21984054]

>>21984043
Shilling involves asking people to pay you money.
Be glad you haven't encountered the "violent shill" here.
If you want to post a link to your writing, go for it. But know there's a lot of demotivational failed-crabs here who will shit on it for every conceivable reason.

[Anonymous No.21984055]

>>21984035
> he submits literature to RR
Oh this I gotta see. Post your work.

[Anonymous No.21984056]

>>21979660
im thinking about writing a stream of consciousness webnovel that is one sentence long, and it will just go on forever

[Anonymous No.21984060]

>>21984055
> he submits literature to RR
Who are you quoting?

[Anonymous No.21984065]

>>21984056
you better not use the common phrase “the fact that” or i will invent necromancy to resurrect Joyce and command him to blow your head off with a .303 enfield rifle from the roof of a five story apartment building.

[Anonymous No.21984066]

[Anonymous No.21984073]

>>21984065
are we duckposting?

[Anonymous No.21984086]

>>21984073
yeah i am, the fact that i’m duckposting is really a sign i should probably stop my joyce binge, the fact that i’m a reading addict tells me everthing i need to know about why my writing improves so sporadically, in bursts of sudden competence, the fact that the phrase the fact that is so easy to use that i know for a fact i used it for every sentence i used to say, when i still played handball on the gray area and when all boys had sworn an oath against justin bieber, that canadian white whale, the fact that oh god oh fuck I can’t do this anymore.

[Anonymous No.21984091]

>>21984086
nah your writing still sucks dog. sorry to say

[Anonymous No.21984097]

>>21984091
this is what a 3 year MTL binge does to your writing. still currently detoxing via reading the 19th to early 20th century authors and writing.

[Anonymous No.21984107]

>>21984065
im just going to use "and" a lot, probably, but will try to be as clever as possible with each thought transition

[Anonymous No.21984119]

>>21984107
If you’re going for the schizo aesthetic, it certainly reads like one; I like it very much; even if the words are more advanced then what a usual schizo would use.

[Anonymous No.21984130]

>>21984086
>oh god oh fuck I can’t do this anymore.
how I felt by page 2 of that memeschlock
whenever someone implies you are inferior for not yet being published, just duckpost. i'd rather be unpublished than an unironic duckposter.

[Anonymous No.21984136]

>>21984119
thanks. yeah the narrator is a schizo, but sees it as a kind of divine intellect that allows him to see patters

[Anonymous No.21984140]

>>21984040
>wattpad
ya dun it to yaself

[Anonymous No.21984155]

>>21984130
the fact that she was the daughter of the top Joyce Scholar was an immediate red flag. Most, if not all, literary scholars could not write literature if their lives and the lives of their family depended on it.

[Anonymous No.21984158]

finally have a story that will 100% guarantee i get published and will hook these fucking agents with the first chapter, assuming i can finish the fucking thing. for some reason it's like pulling teeth to work on this when everything else i've written flowed with ease
it's complex with three interwoven storylines and lowkey driving me insane, and the protag has to walk a narrow line or the execution will flop

i think the biggest issue is i haven't found an album that vibes with it yet. i always write with an album on repeat and nothing hits for this. now when i listen to those albums i remember the novel i was working on to them and get nostalgia. but i can't find one that suits this.

[Anonymous No.21984169]

>>21984158
>lowkey
>album
>vibes
Yeah, you definitely aren't addicted to social media and will write greatness.

[Anonymous No.21984176]

>>21984158
im listening to this to write, reminds me of the Caretakers album, weird dream-percussion music or whatever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZxpFPKMuMY

[Anonymous No.21984183]

>>21980897
>2000 daily words
you are like little baby.... i wrote 68,000 words today, 74,000 the day before that (my record is 120,000 words in one day)

[Anonymous No.21984189]

>>21984183
Maybe, but WHAT words?

[Anonymous No.21984195]

>>21984183
>1,5 words per second for 24 hours uninterrupted
Wow!

[Anonymous No.21984205]

>>21984176
if I'm gonna do an album with random noise interludes I'd go with this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeZVJNVbn_Q

[Anonymous No.21984206]

the ost for the bleach arrancar arc is unironically kino. too bad it didn't have a better writer and he obviously painted himself into a corner at the end

[Anonymous No.21984234]

>>21984169
i don't use social media
>>21984183
seething
>>21984176
not my tea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5xTxvpHElM

[Anonymous No.21984238]

>>21984234
>i don't use social media
So are you black or uneducated?

[Anonymous No.21984239]

>>21984238
nah black people all have twitter or instagram

[Anonymous No.21984249]

>>21984169
cope millennial

[Anonymous No.21984250]

>>21984238
>mentions the 2 largest groups on social media
oh you

[Anonymous No.21984253]

>>21984238
i'm a racist anti-semitic transphobe obv who else doesn't waste their life doomscrolling twatgramtok

[Anonymous No.21984287]

HOW THE FUCK DO I INTO PROSE?

MY SENTENCES ARE SO CLUNKY AND AWKWARD

[Anonymous No.21984310]

>>21984287
read more nigga

[Anonymous No.21984319]

>>21984044
I know it's evil. But how am I a hack? I took the very basic concept, and actually did something with it.

[Anonymous No.21984330]

>>21984310
I read books daily. What now?

[Anonymous No.21984334]

>>21984319
even if i disagreed with you, i'd respect you for writing the play if that's what you actually believe. but spiteful actions are intellectually dishonest. you didn't care about engaging the ideas of the original, you just wanted credit for doing it better. that's not art, it's ego.

[Anonymous No.21984357]

>>21984330
Read grammar articles about dependent clauses, semicolons, m-dashes, appositives, etc.

[Anonymous No.21984359]

>>21984334
>spiteful actions are intellectually dishonest
nigga you dumb

[Anonymous No.21984365]

>>21984330
What kinds of books do you read?

[Anonymous No.21984374]

>>21984357
The grammar's not the problem, it's getting my words to flow like poetry.

>>21984365
Mostly short story collections because I want to learn narrative efficacy.

[Anonymous No.21984376]

>>21984334
I'm pretty sure a bunch of classic authors were angry at someone else's writing, so they wrote their works in response.
>i'd respect you for writing the play if that's what you actually believe
It was a mix of "I could do it better", and an Eureka moment, as I instantly knew what I wanted to do with said concept. Those who don't know my motivation, still loved it. Even my mom said that it's the best thing I have written in years, and she is my harshest critic. She tears down 99% of what I write with no mercy.

[Anonymous No.21984383]

>>21984374
What kinds of short stories?

[Anonymous No.21984389]

>>21984359
*smacks you*
whose dumb now huh?

[Anonymous No.21984400]

>>21984374
>my words to flow
I assume you've already read some poetic devices 101 stuff? Might also be an issue with comma use. This is a self shill but something I feel has helped me and talked about on here for ages is my idea of Loose Alliteration: https://tookys.substack.com/p/how-to-write-using-loose-alliteration

[Anonymous No.21984406]

Are there any good books that try to capture the chaos of violence in motion? I’ve never experienced that kind of violence before; the closest thing to violence I have ever experienced was on part of the initiator, where I threw a chair across the room and dented in a locker in a fit of rage.

[Anonymous No.21984442]

do you guys every feel hopeless knowing AI will replace all writers within the next 3 years? it makes me not even want to write anymore knowing AI can write a book 100x faster than me and probably better, too

[Anonymous No.21984469]

>>21984442
No.

[Anonymous No.21984475]

>>21984442
No.

[Anonymous No.21984476]

>read James Joyce’s shitposty letters to wife

Jesus christ why does he have to be good at writing smut too.

[Anonymous No.21984478]

>>21984406
how are you posting on lit without reading blood meridian

[Anonymous No.21984487]

>>21984442
>AI will replace all writers within the next 3 years
lol

[Anonymous No.21984497]

>>21984442
AI can't even do hands bruh

[Anonymous No.21984511]

>>21984442
You clearly don't know how AI works if you believe that.

[Anonymous No.21984512]

>>21984287
I could teach you, anon, but no one one here actually writes or gives a shit.

[Anonymous No.21984536]

[Anonymous No.21984549]

>>21984512
fuck u nigga

[Anonymous No.21984578]

>>21984549
not wrong though

[Anonymous No.21984637]

/wg/, I was really proud of being a writer, but somewhere along the line I stopped enjoying it and just kept trying for the wrong reasons which made me too miserable to keep going

I still want to be a writer because without it I don't really know who I am anymore or what I'm living for, but at the same time I know if I go back to it it will just just lead me to suicide

what do I do?

[Anonymous No.21984642]

>>21984442
I write because I enjoy it. If AI makes all those who see writing only as a race to churn out low-effort trash for money and attention kill themselves out of despair, then the world will be a better place.

[Anonymous No.21984704]

>>21984637
who gives a shit about being a writer? I want to write things, I want to get my stories out. I couldn't give less of a shit about being seen as a writer.
your priorities are backwards, fix that

[Anonymous No.21984715]

>>21984704
I too want to get my stories out, but I also want people to read them and like them. I wand people to be inspired by those stories to write their own

the problem is I don't see that happening. The world is a hostile place to creators and the best I can hope for is that a few people will read it and say it's okay then never think about it again

[Anonymous No.21984727]

>>21984715
life is meaningless, do what pleases you. seriously. at least up until the point where you need to work for a living. but if you don't do what you enjoy you'll regret it

[Anonymous No.21984735]

>>21984727
I like writing, but I hate writing badly. Once the inspiration ran out my quality suffered, and writing just became painful and hopeless

[Anonymous No.21984756]

>>21984735
look up nora roberts. she has over 200 novels. you can't wait on inspiration. you just have to pick up the pen and start writing

[Anonymous No.21984762]

>>21984756
I kept trying almost every day for 4 years after the inspiration ran out. it caused a mental breakdown and that's what i'm trying to recover fromnow

[Anonymous No.21984776]

>>21984762
Inspiration is meaningless and you're a dumb fuck for depending on it for anything, ever. Would you go up to a bank teller and ask for your bank account's balance, only to have the teller say, eh, it's around $1000 maybe, but I just don't feel inspired today, so I don't feel like checking on it, sorry. Fuck no. You'd call the manager over and have that retard fired. No one should depend on inspiration or feeling, they're fickle, and nothing would get done. If you don't want to take the time to write and show up with something, even if it's bad, then shut the fuck up and pick another career or hobby. Simple as.

[Anonymous No.21984793]

>>21984776
I just said I spent four years working without it you illiterate inbred cunt! fuck off and kill yourself

[Anonymous No.21984818]

>>21984793
kill yourself is reserved for shitposters not people who care enough to give you advice. self-centered idiot.

[Anonymous No.21984839]

>instead of writing a single word of prose today, I wrote a 1000+ word email to a friend about my setting
Fantasy was a mistake, don't write it. Abandon genre fiction. Nothing of value can be gained there.

[Anonymous No.21984848]

/a/ had a somewhat interesting thread for once.
>>>/a/252067273
>Azumanga Daioh
>Tokienbook Supreme
>Tokiepic Unwin

[Anonymous No.21984860]

>>21984756
Does she actually write all of them or does she use ghostwriters like Tom Clancy or James Patterson?

[Anonymous No.21984882]

>>21984860
she says she has never used a ghostwriter. however she writes romance so her books are the literary equivalent of lifetime movies. predictable and blander than white bread. this is a synopsis of her book vision in white

"Nora Roberts cordially invites you to meet childhood friends Parker, Emma, Laurel, and Mac—the founders of Vows, one of Connecticut's premier wedding planning companies.

After years of throwing make-believe weddings in the backyard, flowers, photography, desserts, and details are what these women do best: a guaranteed perfect, beautiful day full of memories to last the rest of your life.

With bridal magazine covers to her credit, Mackensie "Mac" Elliot is most at home behind the camera—ready to capture the happy moments she never experienced while growing up. Her father replaced his first family with a second, and now her mother, moving on to yet another man, begs Mac for attention and money. Mac's foundation is jostled again moments before an important wedding planning meeting when she bumps into the bride-to-be's brother...an encounter that has them both seeing stars.

Carter Maguire is definitely not her type: he's stable, and he's safe. He's even an English teacher at their high school alma mater. There's something about him that makes Mac think a casual fling is just what she needs to take her mind off dealing with bridezillas and screening her mother's phone calls. But a casual fling can turn into something more when you least expect it. And with the help of her three best friends—and business partners—Mac must learn how to make her own happy memories."

[Anonymous No.21984947]

>>21984334
I think reading some truly old literature is a bit liberating when ti comes to getting rid of this mindset.
The greats of old wrote things out of spite, or to make fun of people. They shamelessly made up fan fiction about their favorite authors.7
One day, when I'm better read in old medieval mythical travelogues and chivalry novels I'll write one about a Spanish knight going down to Africa and meeting some funny characters. It's never going to happen but I can dream, just like how I cam dream of writing other things.

[Anonymous No.21985009]

Today, I performed a fedora rite of passage. I went to a store, and put a Bible in the fiction section. Then I went outside, tipped the invisible fedora on my head, and told the non-existent God in my heart that it was 'nothin personnel, kid'.

It felt quite cathartic

[Anonymous No.21985017]

>>21979660
Do I have to just suck up the fact that most short stories or works I've produced are terribly mid and unremarkable and just keep writing to git gud?
Btw, if you want to write for a genre, how much should read of that genre?
I have an interesting sci-fi story idea I think. But I have not read one sci-fi (new or old) novel in my life. Should I get acquainted with the genre first?

[Anonymous No.21985025]

>>21985017
you should look up the best books in that genre and read them. you will get a feel for the expectations and whether you actually enjoy writing the genre, or if you would have a good knowledge base to do so

[Anonymous No.21985026]

>>21985017
You should write a sci-fi story about the Second American Civil War between Mormonism and Scientology

[Anonymous No.21985030]

>>21985026
cowboys vs. aliens

[Anonymous No.21985033]

>>21985026
Ironically your joke is closer to my idea than not.
>>21985025
Ah. Fair enough. Is Neuromancer a good start for semi-modern sci-fi?

[Anonymous No.21985053]

>>21985033
https://4chanlit.fandom.com/wiki/Science_Fiction
this is a comprehensive resource for genre books

[Anonymous No.21985085]

>>21985009
You did a good thing, the person browsing the fiction section who would never have touched a bible otherwise picked it up and went home with it.

[Anonymous No.21985097]

I was talking in the shower to myself about the domestication of dogs and now I want to write a short story about the domestication of dogs
It'll be about a boy who lives in Siberia and who has an encounter with a wolf pup, wolves already being a similar sight around their settlement
I'll write it in third person which is limited and not an omniscient view
Since it is set a long time ago I won't feel the need to do so much research

[Anonymous No.21985176]

>>21985097
remember that wolves tagged along because the hunters threw them meat and eventually the wolves saw them as part of their pack

[Anonymous No.21985177]

So I'm in a weird situation and I need someone's read on this. I'm writing a story set in a sort of fantastic version of 15th century Bosnia. I'll spare you the details, but I've got a character, who is supposed to be a sort of autistic, obsessively proper "knight" (a minor Boyar really) and I distinguish his pattern of speech from other people by having him just never use contractions except for one scene where he lets his guard down while drinking with a woman.

This is a pivotal scene for him because it's sort of his downfall, he's obsessed with honor and propriety, but he breaks his own rules and gives in to this harlot, essentially losing a part of who he is in a process--and this is represented by him slipping into "it's" and "we're"s instead of "it is" and "we are," that sort of thing.

The problem is that there are no contractions in Serbian. There are no contractions in any Slavic language. So this is a distinction that would literally only make sense in English. I'm not so crass as to have other characters point out "hey you know that guy, the stuck-up one who never uses contractions" to make it obvious, but it bugs me that it's one of those things which, if translated into the actual language the characters are speaking wouldn't make any sense.

I guess it's a slightly more autistic version of fuckups in books where nobody is speaking English but they make puns that only make sense in English (looking at you Sanderson) am I just overthinking this? I'm 200,000 words into this thing and I only realized this yesterday.

[Anonymous No.21985201]

>>21985177
And if you're wondering, yes, my first thought was to change the setting, and have them speak English, but I can't do that, because too much of the story is tied up in weird Slavic culture, and worse still, there are a bunch of important plot points which hinge specifically in Slavic language--I.E., there's a prophecy that can actually apply to three different people, one because it very literally describes her, but the other two because their names actually translate to the thing being described in the prophecy.

Also I just really wanted to write a story set in the fantasy Balkans because nobody has ever really explored that concept, and it seemed like a fun niche I could grab that might make my work stand out.

[Anonymous No.21985214]

>>21985177
you should still use contractions because if you don't, the dialogue won't flow as well to your english readers. it's not a huge distinction but people will still notice and be put off by it

[Anonymous No.21985236]

>>21985017
Read your chosen genre so that you understand it. However you should read outside of your chosen genre too so that you can put fresh spins on it.

[Anonymous No.21985259]

>>21985214
All of the other characters do, it's just the one guy. It's supposed to give the impression of someone who is speaking in a very deliberate and refined manner. It clashes well with the more casual way in which the other characters speak.

I'm trying to think of another character who does that--Teal'c, from Stargate. Imagine if that guy got drunk one episode and just started talking like a regular person. It would be really obvious that he's lost his composure.

[Anonymous No.21985277]

[Anonymous No.21985504]

>>21984793
Sounds like you still have some mental problems to deal with.
Perhaps work on those first.

[Anonymous No.21985509]

>>21985017
>I have an interesting sci-fi story idea I think. But I have not read one sci-fi (new or old) novel in my life.
Then how do you know your idea hasn't already been done to death?
It's fine to write something that's been done before, but the pressure is on you to do it better than it's been done already.

[Anonymous No.21985512]

>>21985277
haha burn

[Anonymous No.21985529]

>>21985017
Read your genre to know but wouldnt hurt to ask chatgpt if your plot is similar to anything else. Maybe list out some of the key moments or beats in your story and you will get a gut check. The model is pretty bad at misinterpreting some novel scenes if characters say they will do something but wont, it may mistake it as the character actually doing it. But it can recognize story elements, you'd just have to do digging. When I started my first book years ago I found the elements were mostly similar to a one off novel that was mostly not read. You'd be surprised how many stories are out there even if they arent well known.

[Anonymous No.21985667]

>>21985017
Keep in mind that sci-fi is a broad genre. Star Wars is like a fantasy story that just so happens to involve a lot of spaceships. Greg Egan writes geometry fan fiction and needs a sci-fi setting to express his cool math ideas. Ted Chiang sometimes uses it to distill general societal and philosophical reflections in another setting, like a thought experiment.
These are different ways to use sci-fi. Make sure you read works that seems to use sci-fi in the ways you want to use it. (And other works of sci-fi too, of course, but be mindful of the variety.)

[Anonymous No.21985669]

>>21985177
I applaud your concern for bilingual readers, but actually it's not that big of a problem. Serbo-Croatian actually has something similar that would translate pretty well--essentially the use of different pronouns and extended word forms as terms of respect. In short, it's sort of like the inverse of the "Royal We" in English, if you refer to "you" in the plural sense (Vi) it conveys respect, it's how you would speak to someone important. There are a ton of other things, like there's a small difference in saying hello to someone casually "Kako si" versus saying it formally "Kako sti" which takes a small extra amount of effort--hence why when speaking casually people shorten it.
It's not a contraction in the same sense as it is in English, but it's literally using a less strenuous version of the same word to make talking easier. So someone going who goes through a lot of effort to speak formally all the time to anyone could be very easily translated into Serbian, and if I were going to try and express that in English, ironically not using contractions is almost the perfect way to do it, plus always using honorifics and the like. And as you intend, it would make him kind of grating to listen to because when someone talks that way to you, there's kind of a cultural obligation to talk that way back. You're not just being highly dignified in speech, you're low-key forcing the other person to also talk in this stilted manner to avoid being rude.

In short you accidentally chose the right way to do this lol.

[Anonymous No.21985698]

>>21980462
test
onions

[Anonymous No.21985714]

>>21985698
Newfag.

[Anonymous No.21985722]

>>219851
(Sorry I made a small error in my post and deleted it so I'm going to do it again to clarify.)

I applaud your concern for bilingual readers, but actually it's not that big of a problem. Serbo-Croatian actually has something similar that would translate pretty well, it is essentially the use of different pronouns and extended word forms as terms of respect. In short, it's sort of like the inverse of the "Royal We" in English, if you refer to "you" in the plural sense (Vi) it conveys respect, it's how you would speak to someone important. There are a ton of other things, like there's a small difference in saying hello to someone casually "Kako si" versus saying it formally "Kako sti" which takes a small extra amount of effort--hence why when speaking casually people shorten it.
It's not a contraction in the same sense as it is in English, but it's literally using a less strenuous version of the same word to make talking easier. So someone going who goes through a lot of effort to speak formally all the time to anyone could be very easily translated into Serbian, and if I were going to try and express that in English, ironically not using contractions is almost the perfect way to do it, plus always using honorifics and the like. And as you intend, it would make him kind of grating to listen to because when someone talks that way to you, there's kind of a cultural obligation to talk that way back. You're not just being highly dignified in speech, you're low-key forcing the other person to also talk in this stilted manner to avoid being rude.

In short you accidentally chose the right way to do this lol.

[Anonymous No.21985743]

>>21985177
Make it a good and emotional story and only autists will actually worry about this. This issue is a nothingburger. If you manage to make his fall riveting then all of this anachronism will be excused.

[Anonymous No.21985750]

>>21985017
Did you ever hear about a landscape painter who refused to study other landscape artists?

[Anonymous No.21985756]

If I write 2000 words today can I get a big tiddy Croatian gf

[Anonymous No.21985759]

>>21985756
Croats are massive sluts, you can get away with 1500.

[Anonymous No.21985765]

I'm experiencing a sort of writing paralysis where I don't feel experienced enough to develop my original ideas, but I don't want to practice with stock schlock. Instead I would like to request your worst, most offensive, least marketable ideas to put to paper. Not just "here's a terrible scene to include," but something with rancid meat on the bone, like Children of the Trough.

[Anonymous No.21985766]

>Rape is a bad plot device that mostly amateur writers use for cheap shock value and drama
Fight me.

[Anonymous No.21985768]

>>21985766
Rape happens.

[Anonymous No.21985773]

>>21985766
There are no (or very few) bad plot devices, only executions. The latter part is totally true though. Bad literature is rife with "bad guy rapes love interest or tries to so we really hate him," it's almost as overused as "bad guys reveals he killed protagonist's parents."

[Anonymous No.21985775]

>>21985766
Rape is sexy. Ranked highest in both male and female fantasies

[Anonymous No.21985852]

>>21985766
Even experienced female authors get shit on by their fans for overusing the trope. There's a meme that whenever she runs out of plot ideas another character gets raped.

[Anonymous No.21985864]

>>21985852
My wife watched the dumb show and every time I walked in someone was either being raped or crying about someone being raped

[Anonymous No.21985868]

Which is the most /lit/ title style?

>title case: Titles Just Like this Example
>sentence case: Titles just like this example
>uppercase: TITLES JUST LIKE THIS EXAMPLE
>lowercase: titles just like this example

[Anonymous No.21985872]

>>21985868
Single word titles only

[Anonymous No.21985874]

>>21985775
>highest in both male
doubt

[Anonymous No.21985887]

>>21985765
Where did that anon go that pitched us his novel idea of a serial killer who is then approached by a company to stream his murders? /wg/ got really excited by how transgressive it was, and I think he was already having trouble staying on his online platform when he started it because it had so many redflags. God I hope that anon writes it. I would buy 10 copies if it was done right.

[Anonymous No.21985894]

>>21985872
>>21985868
I forgot about this option! Pretend it's there, anons

[Anonymous No.21985895]

https://thecollidescope.com/2021/01/24/fraternity/

[Anonymous No.21985922]

>>21985775
based anon. True rape is forbidden in mainstream porn and most erotica hosting sites, so people will find any way to let that pressure loose.

[Anonymous No.21985960]

>>21985868
Title Case is superior, it's the only one that doesn't annoy the fuck out of me. Single word titles are also fine simply because by necessity they're also Title Case.

[Anonymous No.21986059]

>>21985874
Men love to rape, women love to be raped.

[Anonymous No.21986101]

>>21985775

>Hight in male

But that's wrong. Men like multiple female partners way more. A lot of guys cant stomach rape, it's WAY more of a female fantasy.

[Anonymous No.21986333]

>>21986059
I was raped by a woman.

[Anonymous No.21986340]

>>21986101
women love being forcefully taken but only if it's by a man they find attractive and would've fucked anyway. see the paradox? it's no coincidence that the first modern romantic pulp contained multiple rape scenes. society is built on women's yearning for rape.

[Anonymous No.21986355]

God I hate everything I've written today. My head hurts and I can't form a decent sentence to save my life. It's so ugly what I've made

[Anonymous No.21986398]

>>21986340
that's not rape that's rough sex.
if a woman wants it then it's not rape,
just because thr man didn't ask for consent first doesn't mean it's rape.

[Anonymous No.21986412]

>>21986101
Why do you think that men crave multiple female partners? Deep down in the heterosexual, undamaged (read: not submissive) man's mind is the desire for complete female subjugation, at which state any given female on earth belongs to any man at any given time. Everything else is mental gymnastics or cope.

[Anonymous No.21986484]

meanwhile in the &amp thread: the unreal people are still posting random dox

[Anonymous No.21986508]

>>21986398
Why would the woman's attitude matter? Rape is when you have sex with a woman without her father/closest male relative's permission.

[Anonymous No.21986516]

Hey guys. I'm dropping a link to the Royal Road story I've finally got back to writing. If anyone wanted to take a look and drop some feedback that would be cool. Would love to know why you might think it's shit too. Also I know you guys said consistent schedules would help but don't you need to sort of garner a following first? Anyways here we go.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/61111/prince-of-steel

[Anonymous No.21986546]

>>21986508
I know this is a bit tongue in cheek, but it's sad because that was kind of the case for a number of societies, and technically still goes on. But there's also been plenty of impulsive people who have sex with no strings attached, which I suppose isnt necessarily more common now, but rather normalized.

[Anonymous No.21986556]

>>21986340
>women love being forcefully taken but only if it's by a man they find attractive and would've fucked anyway
right. that's why rape is a woman's number one fantasy, whereas irl it typically doesn't end up like the fantasy at all, so they hate it.

[Anonymous No.21986566]

>>21986516
i like the prose so far. your characterization is interesting

[Anonymous No.21986573]

>>21986516
a consistent schedule is how you get a following. people don't want to read someone who flakes 5 to 10 chapters in (or 3 in your case)

[Anonymous No.21986629]

when the runt is SUS

[Anonymous No.21986650]

>>21986629
>white hair on the cover
>pretty enough to be a woman
So is Myers actually Griffith?

[Anonymous No.21986681]

>>21979660
>AI shart image
Don't make threads

[Anonymous No.21986834]

i finished the first chapter and i have to say it's among the best i've read from here, minus a few spelling errors. maybe it's generic but it's written better than a lot of trad pub

[Anonymous No.21986852]

>>21986516
The narrative is clear and readable, which is something of an achievement in these threads. I'm getting strong Conan the barbarian vibes, which I guess would be cool if I liked Conan the barbarian. I feel this could've been really big in the 80s, but by now I've seen too many straight-faced fantasy attempts by authors who wish they were still in the 80s. It's just too corny, cliche, and oozing with testosterone to keep me reading, but don't let that stop you by any means. I'm sure there's still an audience for this sort of thing.

[Anonymous No.21986871]

>>21986573
That explains why nobody is reading my book. Releasing every 2-3 days doesn't work. May need to delete and repost

[Anonymous No.21986873]

>>21986852
smack on some inflated worldbuilding and hastily thrown-in rape and you have a winner

[Anonymous No.21986899]

>>21986852
Thanks for looking. If I can still convince you to keep reading I can assure you Myers gets pegged and absolutely starts tripping over his feet as his condition worsens. But yes I do feel the writing can be a bit edgy but I'm happy it's at least readable.

[Anonymous No.21986932]

>>21981669
Any non-rejection/ghosting is good news, but I wouldn't get your hopes up too much over it. I've received a few emails like that and figure they're automated to let you know they've received it. It's only when they're requesting the full manuscript or more pages that their interest is truly piqued.

[Anonymous No.21986933]

Who do you guys even show your writing to? With other art forms you can post it on the internet like here and people will care to look at it. No one wants to read some rando's shortstory. I enjoy writing but it's said to exert yourself in such isolation: You can agonise over a page all day and work on piece for over a month but when it's done and you think it's so beautiful only I'm the one that reads it. Sometimes I think that's okay, but it's only human to want someone to care about how hard you try

[Anonymous No.21986942]

>>21979686
recommend me something right now, off the top of your head

[Anonymous No.21986986]

>>21986933
This is one reason I write fan fiction. The guaranteed audience.
Shipping quintuples my readership. Maybe in a few years I'll be outputting nothing but romantic sludge.

[Anonymous No.21987042]

>>21986986
What fandoms are you subjects of choice?

[Anonymous No.21987096]

>>21987042
Moderately embarrassing indie video games. I don't even play that many but they get me going like nothing else, something very seductive about filling holes left by the original medium.

[Anonymous No.21987107]

>>21987096
tell me some. I play a shit ton of indie games. I used to buy one like every week a few years ago.

[Anonymous No.21987109]

>>21986834
Good on you, mate

[Anonymous No.21987121]

>>21987096
Furry detected.

[Anonymous No.21987184]

New
>>21986870
>>21986870
>>21986870
>>21986870

[Anonymous No.21987191]

>>21987107
Current project is Deltarune, thinking of doing a Hollow Knight one next. Nothing obscure.

>>21987121
Not very.

[Anonymous No.21987202]

>>21987191
play deadbolt, i think the world would intrigue you.

[Anonymous No.21987233]

>>21986933
>Who do you guys even show your writing to?
agents so i can get tasty form rejections

[Anonymous No.21987263]

>>21987202
Thanks! I'll give it a shot.
I loved Hotline Miami but I can't tell if the similarities extend beyond the gameplay. Never tried to write about that one, it feels hard to get a handle on without spoiling the magic.

[Anonymous No.21987265]

>>21985509
>Then how do you know your idea hasn't already been done to death?
Nothing famous has come out of it, at least. But there's probably a book about it.
>>21985236
What does understanding a genre entail, in your opinion?
>>21985529
>>21985667
Thanks for the advice.

I felt coy about my super valuable OC donut steel ideas last night but for the record, it's about an AI that can make chatbots of the dead becoming a nexus for a sort of ancestor worship and forming a cult with a fair amount of power within the city-state (around the east coast) the story is set in.

[Anonymous No.21987276]

>>21987263
Yeah, it's a gem. Make sure you pick up the cassettes and read them. They give some interesting little stories that fill in bit of the world.

[Anonymous No.21987349]

>>21987265
Go for it! This is not unexplored territory but there's room for more.
Here's a not-irrelevant Greg Egan story from 1995. You can try to syncretize these old takes with the modern reality of LLM chatbots.

[Anonymous No.21987897]

>>21985887
I remember that anon!
I also remember HellAnon.
I hope they both complete their work.

[Anonymous No.21987900]

>>21986340
Trust the science.

[Anonymous No.21987904]

>>21986933
>No one wants to read some rando's shortstory.
Several dozen sub-Reddits are the exception to your demotivational failed-crab rule.
r/nosleep has several thousand active readers at any one time.

[Anonymous No.21988197]

New bread >>21988194

[Anonymous No.21988384]

>>21987900
how did they measure the rape ones.