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/lit/ - Literature


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20975446 No.20975446 [Reply] [Original]

How childish or stupid is writing a letter to a woman?

>> No.20975459

>>20975446

just try to avoid terms like "milady".

>> No.20975460

>childish and stupid
Both, and women love and treasure them forever even if they hate you.

>> No.20975472
File: 39 KB, 450x815, 1617149205655.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20975472

>>20975460
>>20975460
>women love and treasure them forever even if they hate you.
Is this true?

>> No.20975479

>>20975446
Don't
>>20975460
I don't believe you

>> No.20975488

>>20975446
If you write a woman a letter nowadays she will ghost you or toy with you, and in either case you will be ridiculed behind your back. Don't do it. Don't even text that much; do the bare minimum when it comes to texting. Do have all your real conversations in person and even there what matters is not what you say but how you say it and taking consequential action to escalate towards sex.

>> No.20975497
File: 21 KB, 480x360, 1588602067126.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20975497

>>20975488
I do not want sex, I want to be loved
How utterly doomed am I?

>> No.20975501

>>20975459
I say this every time my wife burps

>> No.20975508

>>20975497
Sex is the only form of love

>> No.20975514
File: 68 KB, 570x639, 1618537612205.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20975514

>>20975508
Thanks

>> No.20975517

>>20975446
Never leave a paper trail
-Nagarjuna

>> No.20975519

>>20975460
I hope that's not true, I wrote scores of pages to some slut in high school I was wrongfully smitten over. I hope she burnt them, and if she didn't do that I hope she publishes them, but I'm very much not comfortable if she keeps them in a locked box under her bed.

>> No.20975524

>>20975460
Maybe if she's a lesbian.

>> No.20975530

>>20975519
What did she think of them?

>> No.20975556

Not that much I don't think, but of course her reaction will depend on the type of person she is. Some might of course think it's stupid, some will think it's cute and cherish it, but only because it's a cute gesture, and them some will appreciate it appropriately.
I used to correspond with a girlfriend who studied abroad through letters after she left my country and we were going through rough times. I'm sure she loved the ones I sent, because they well written and she said so herself, but hers read like long emails.
I burnt her letters and the knick-knacks she had been sending me after we had broken up. I'm sure she's keeping hers as >>20975460 says.
Either way, obviously don't write to her if you haven't spoken before and probably not if you can meet with her easily. They just become a gimmick if that's the case.

>> No.20975561

If you're interesting and you write well, it's a great idea to write a letter.

Girls are easy to figure out. Just think about bower birds. They create these little decorative structures to impress females. The purpose is to test if a male can create a structure that's both sturdy and beautiful.
Humans basically do the same thing in a more complex way. Fitness freak / athlete? That's your bower. Make it glorious to impress a female and you'll earn the privilege of having a family. Scholar? Your mind is your bower. It's easy to fuck this one up because 'intellectuals' often disappear up their own assholes, learning / doing things of no value, which females find disgusting.

Like I said, if you're a clever and interesting person, write her a letter. If you can be humorous/interesting/whatever, she'll see the value in your little bower and she'll like you. If you're a boring retarded faggot, don't bother, and work hard to make yourself less of a fruit by spending time around real men from whom you can learn.

>> No.20975577

>>20975561
Good post

>> No.20975602

>>20975446
Not as childish and stupid as posting blow jack

>> No.20975610

>>20975577
Thank you. Good luck working on your bower.

>> No.20975622

>>20975446
Write her a love letter in French or Italian. She will wet her pussy and not be able to read it.

>> No.20975669

I did plenty of writing throughout the beginning of the relationship in the form of both letters & poetry and it worked well for me. Wedding next month.

>> No.20975707
File: 816 KB, 912x1774, Bouguereau-Linnocence.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20975707

>>20975669
Congratulations, Anon. I'm sure many good years lie ahead of you.

>> No.20975714

>>20975446
This will get you on a watch list.

>> No.20975817

>>20975714
Being on a watchlist is based

>> No.20975826

>>20975497
For a woman to love you, you need to give her sex. If you do not escalate sexually then she will never love you.

>> No.20975837

>>20975826
Why does sex need to come first?

>> No.20975840

>>20975826
This couldn't be more incorrect

>> No.20975851

>>20975837
Not him, but I read somewhere that men love before sex, and women after - because it only makes sense if you take an evolutionary point of view

These kind of discussions make me bitter and sad though, I'm going to sleep

>> No.20975854

>>20975472
Yes

>> No.20975862

>>20975837
It shows you are interested and a dominant man. If you show no sexual interest they will perceive you as weak or not interested. Sex isn't the be all end all but it cant not be there. Hold hands and walk somewhere romantic but dominate her with your body language and throw in some confident innuendo every now and then. You need to maintain the sexual chemistry for erotic love.

>> No.20975867

>>20975840
Elaborate

>> No.20975873 [SPOILER] 

>>20975446
No, women find these type of things really cute unless she’s a whore

>> No.20975901

>>20975851
>These kind of discussions make me bitter and sad
Same

>> No.20975907

>>20975873
What do whores find cute?

>> No.20975918

>>20975446
just try to avoid terms like "milady".

>> No.20975928

>>20975826
>>20975851
>>20975862
yes, when it comes to sex, its better to ask forgiveness than permission

>> No.20975947

>>20975851
>>20975862
This is true only for chimps, and for certain homo sapiens subspecies which will remain unnamed. For other subspecies of homo sapiens, which come from colder and harsher climates, ones that I happen to like and appreciate much more than the previous kind, sheer physical dominance is secondary to security and stability, because being abandoned with children in the dead of winter would likely be a death sentence. Not to mention, some homo sapiens subspecies have females that are choosier than the females of other subspecies, and they look for traits of a more subtle nature than simple dominance.

>> No.20976009

>>20975907
I have no idea but probably some vids of you masturbating with sound on lol idk follow latina twitter to know more keke

>> No.20976015

>>20976009
Kek

>> No.20976021

>>20975472
Yes, they're like trophies to them, that validate their attractiveness.

>> No.20976061

Guys I wrote a girl a bunch of letters, and she wrote back, she loves the person writing the letters. My only problem is that I am pretending to be a much taller, wealthier, and handsome friend of mine; while I am short, poor, and loathsome. Should I help my friend get pussy or should I reveal the real author to her?

>> No.20976068

>>20976061
Reveal, your friend has probably no problem getting pussy, plus I know this will have tragic and hilarious consequences

>> No.20976351

>>20975669
Good luck

>> No.20976764

>>20976068
so much this. sounds like it would be a classic.

>> No.20976779

>>20975561
baste. will be working on my bower harder now

>> No.20976784

>>20975947
nice post lad. you'd be an interesting one to have a conversation with im sure

>> No.20976786

>>20975446
Not stupid at all. Always speak your truth and do whatever you need to do to get it through. This is what separates the people in hamster wheels from the people who actually get what they want - piercing through the bullshit and saying what needs to be said, doing what needs to be done. In the process you'll decisively cuck the dudes who are racing to keep up with all the dating laws they were instructed about on the internet. Because it was never about rules. It's about expression and connection

>>20975488
If you get ghosted this easily it's a you problem

>> No.20976842 [DELETED] 

>>20975460
I don't treasure it but I did saved
a love note from my high school thing ||she wrote it to me though and it makes me cringe to read it now, especially considering the history but at the time I thought it was cute||
So this is probably true

>> No.20976882

>>20975460 #
I don't treasure it but I did saved
a love note from my high school thing she wrote it to me though and it makes me cringe to read it now, especially considering the history but at the time I thought it was cute
So this is probably true

>> No.20976897

>>20976784
>>20976779
I'm taking these statements in earnest whether you like it or not.

>> No.20977126

>>20975446
Writing letters are retarded. You live in the modern age with texting and calling. If you write a letter you are so OBVIOUSLY trying to hard. Basically being a complete faggot. Do not do it op!!

>> No.20977147

>>20977126

Depends on the circumstance. Writing a letter to a girl you've never spoken to or barely spoken to is a definite no.

Unless you are attractive and a good writer and you know that she is the type to both enjoy reading and be attracted to a 'writer.'

A letter has a purpose nowadays just as much as a book still does. Communicating via text or video carries out different functions. Medium is message. Letters aren't dead but sadly I feel like most letters people on here would right, especially with the retarded and skewed views, will end up fucking them over. And sadly this is the majority of letter writers today probably: convinced they are romance/seduction gods but meanwhile the misogyny is easily picked up.

And it goes over your heads.

Trying too hard doesn't exist. If someone wants to fuck you, they don't care about all the stuff you think they do.

>> No.20977671

>>20975459
Fpbp

>> No.20977720

Friends, I've been in an online relationship with a person for three years now. We always go through periods of low communication, but this time its different. She wished me happy birthday two weeks ago and has only sent me one un-elaborative, uninspired and low-effort message since then, i.e. she's ghosting me. I asked for closure and to let me know if I've inadvertently done something to upset her three days ago, and nothing. Deleted the number and clearing everything. I like to think that I'll ghost her back but I know damn well I'll go back to her if she is just toying with me. I have been through so much emotional pain and heartache these last few days, I don't know why anyone would ever want to leave someone without delivering closure. On the off-chance you don't all laugh at me, I'd appreciate some consolation. God bless you anons

>> No.20977911

>>20975446
>Letter
As in, love letter? Not at all.

>> No.20977925

>>20977720
>I don't know why anyone would ever want to leave someone without delivering closure
I once broke up with a teenage gf of mine by way of simply forgetting about her lmao

>> No.20978429

bump

>> No.20978442

>>20975530
I don't know what she thought of them

>> No.20978463

>>20975446
Only if you truly love her, she's a virgin and hasn't lived in a city.

>> No.20978539

>>20978463
Wow what an incel

>> No.20978598

>>20975446
>How childish or stupid is writing a letter
it's based
>to a woman?
cringe

>> No.20978604

>>20975947
>This is true only for chimps
You clearly know nothing about monkey sexuality, begone

>> No.20978615

>>20977720
>Friends, I've been in an online relationship with a person for three years now.
The whole problem is here imho
I have no ill feelings against you

>> No.20978628

>>20975446
The format doesn't truly matter if the person is worth writing to. The content does.

>> No.20978638

>>20977720
Don't get into online relationships.

Don't remain in online relationships, go meet as soon as possible and if she hesitates to do so then you can leave her.
If you don't get married you're wasting your time.

>> No.20978702

>>20978615
>>20978638
Thanks for the brutal honesty. I won't make this mistake again, but it's hard to get out of this now. I gave her my heart for 3 years and its not going to be easy to just move on.

>> No.20978952

>>20975497
Find a girl who wants to wait till marriage.

>> No.20979062

>>20975446
Not childish or stupid at all. It is a unique and very good sort of thing to do, especially today in the vapidity of our jocund society towards these things. Don't get autistic with it and become too "cringe", I guess, just write it out and send it. Cheers.

>> No.20979098

>>20978604
The alpha chimp has a harem, right? And the alpha chimp is decided mostly by physical domination, correct?

>> No.20979166

>>20979098
The highly sexual nature of bonobo society and the fact that there is little competition over mates means that many males and females are mating with each other, in contrast to the one dominant male chimpanzee that fathers most of the offspring in a group.[105] The strategy of bonobo females mating with many males may be a counterstrategy to infanticide because it confuses paternity. If male bonobos cannot distinguish their own offspring from others, the incentive for infanticide essentially disappears


Sexual activity generally plays a major role in bonobo society, being used as what some scientists perceive as a greeting, a means of forming social bonds, a means of conflict resolution, and postconflict reconciliation.[83][4] Bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in tongue kissing.[84] Bonobos and humans are the only primates to typically engage in face-to-face genital sex, although a pair of western gorillas has also been photographed in this position.[85]

Bonobos do not form permanent monogamous sexual relationships with individual partners. They also do not seem to discriminate in their sexual behavior by sex or age, with the possible exception of abstaining from sexual activity between mothers and their adult sons. When bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity, presumably decreasing tension and encouraging peaceful feeding.

Ethologist Jonathan Balcombe stated that female bonobos rub their clitorises together rapidly for ten to twenty seconds, and this behavior, "which may be repeated in rapid succession, is usually accompanied by grinding, shrieking, and clitoral engorgement"; he added that it is estimated that they engage in this practice "about once every two hours" on average

>> No.20979168

>>20975446
>>20975460
Kinda this, women love this kind of thing, but you have to know what is up.

>> No.20979963

>>20979168
What do you mean

>> No.20979987
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20979987

>>20975446
I sent this to a girl and she ignored me

>> No.20980008

Women love this sort of stuff. I’ve kept all the letters I’ve been given, they’re really lovely personal things that mean so much. Even if you just write about trivial or silly things you could write about in text, there’s something very special about letters.

>> No.20980027

>>20979987
why do you assholes all type like this? why do guys always type like complete spergs. just talk like a normal person.
>your plain style and modest dress have always appealed to me
nobody fucking talks like that

>> No.20980029

>>20979987
confessing by text was a poor choice, anon. Say it in person or write a handwritten letter.

>> No.20980036

>>20979987
>admitting to cowardice
>admitting to being prone to uncharacteristic behavior while drunk
>overly verbose writing style that complicates an otherwise simple message
You need to stop being gay if you want girls to like you, Anon.

>> No.20980047

>>20979166
Very nice wikipedia paste. Notice that here >>20975947 i specifically mentioned chimps. although, i was in error when i said 'only true for chimps, and for...' so you could roast me for that if you'd like

>> No.20980065

>>20975561
And this is why homosexuals are a superior species and the only human analogue capable of being genuien intellectuals and artists.

>> No.20980086

>>20980065
Homosexuality = sexual pathology
stupid

>> No.20980087

>>20979987
HAVE sex

>> No.20980282

>>20980027
I talk like that. Not everybody is illiterate.

>> No.20980321

>>20980282
yeah and thats why youre a virgin lmao

>> No.20980474

>>20980321
I have a gf we’re just waiting for marriage to have sex. I sent that message years ago when I was a sad, desperate incel.

>> No.20980549

>>20980321
>be retarded bro yous get pussy

>> No.20980558

>>20975472
No. My gf gave me back the two letters I had given her when we broke up.

>> No.20980589

>>20975561
Instructions unclear. Working on my bowels now.

>>20980065
Based. I actually wondered once why homosexuals tend to be very physically attractive and interesting. I surmised that, since they do not waste time chasing women (and men either, since good gay men are rare), they have a lot of free time and motivation to work on themselves.

>> No.20980619

>>20975561
Its not this sophisticated. Just be tall lmao

If you have to demonstrate value through earned and non-genetic traits your marriage will be unstable because those traits/earned things are unstable and in the first place do not arouse genuine sexual attraction, which is not to be confused with interest.

>> No.20980638

>>20979987
The other anons are right for the wrong reasons and you are wrong for the right reasons. In a different time this would be fine. In our time, this is the worst possible thing you could have done.

>>20980474
I'm glad to hear things are going well. What's most sad about incel desperation is that it is a mixture, it's not all or even mostly bad. Nobody writing what you wrote or doing what you were doing is inherently bad. Most young men are just confused why the only route to sex is to be a horrible person, a douche, a shallow idiot, etc. Their soul wants to "win the game" (have sex) but naturally rebels against the constantly re-occurring re-realization that the only available game to be played and even potentially won is a horrible game with horrible players, and that being the most skilled at the game means being the most horrible.

What is sick about modern hookup and hypergamy culture isn't only that it's cynical and shallow, it's that it actively cannibalizes, punishes and degrades behaviors and instincts that would otherwise be good, that would e.g. naturally funnel into a reasonably healthy courtship culture in a normal society.

There are a lot of men out there who have gotten good at "winning," and who proudly say, to themselves as much as to their listener, that they "got better" and stopped being "stupid, when what they really mean is that they pounded down perfectly normal and healthy instincts so that they could become a duller, more cynical, more loutish person.

>> No.20980676

>>20979987
NIGGER i did some cringe shit in the past but this is beyond pathetic. Through a fucking text. I can't believe that someone who can read a book is that retarded. You also write like a faggot with no spine and you admit to it.
You're disgusting in many ways

>> No.20980692

>>20979987
It's like something that I would text

>> No.20980699

>>20980619
Based dual-mating-strategy adherent.

>> No.20980808

The main thing to keep in mind is to never treat what they say seriously (except incidentally, ie what a woman says is NOT true because she says it, but for some other reason which validates what she's said). Non-verbal communication is everything, primarily what they do and attempt to do. Anything that comes out of their mouth can be treated as some form of conjecture, or maybe a puzzle, but it's not to be treated seriously in itself. The second point that they will lie about is that they want a man who is "good at something", when what they actually want is to be intimidated, whether intellectually, physically, or in some other way, it all comes down to practical superiority, ie being able to outdo them in any way whatsoever in a way that is obviously apparent (women are sensual, so the "obviously apparent" is important, to intellectually intimidate them is to do so in a way that appears capable of potentially physically subduing them).

>> No.20980847

>>20980808
You're insane

>> No.20980917

>>20980847
They told this to all correct people throughout history.

>> No.20980935

>>20975497
>women
>love
lol good luck. Not saying its impossible but you're going to have to be lucky.

>> No.20980949

>>20980808
100% true

>> No.20980950

>>20980917
The world is insane

>> No.20980967

>>20980950
Welcome to hell. Get over it.

>> No.20981217

>>20975460
LIES

>> No.20981243

>>20975460
>>20975472
100% true.
I once wrote a letter to the girl I was fond of in High School after she thought I was a creepy fella. I basically said that I loved her as no other man would ever love her, but still, as she did not love me, I would try to forget her and live my own life.
She has this letter to this day and read it multiple times. Btw, we're dating and it has been 5 years.

>> No.20981292

>>20980558
I think that means you fucked up more than anything.

>> No.20981626

>>20981292
>you fucked up
Isn't that what often happens when breaking up?

>>20981217
This confirms my experience.
>>20981243
This is fiction, as expected of a literature board.

>> No.20982036

>>20975460
I was once in an LDR [zoomers do really] with a girl (female). I never told her, but early on in the 'relationship' I found her address. Several days after she dumped me, I wrote her a long letter telling her I was sorry and I loved her (gay fag shit). I'm extremely certain she didn't like that, and I'm very glad she never told the police. She probably still has that letter.

>> No.20982314

>>20980638
Good post

>> No.20982398

>>20980808
What about the typical archetype of the dumb husband and “sensible” wife who orders him around and has to clean up after his mess all the time? (Homer and Marge, Family Guy, Fawlty Towers, etc.). It’s not only in media either. If you go to a boomer dinner party you’ll see the wife bossing around the husband. Now I’m not saying this is good, in fact as a Christian I believe women should be submissive to their husbands and not embarrass them in public, but nevertheless, it seems that their desire to be submissive isn’t as universal as you claim.

>> No.20982675

>>20979987
>I sent
>light grey text box is usually for the other person
and also
>>20980474
>suddenly it's from years ago
Is this just a shitty troll post?

>> No.20982729

>>20975446
In todays age it's stupid unless it's family. Write to your grandmother anons, it'll make her day.

>> No.20982735

>>20975837
Because women are slaves to the times and waiting isn't a feasible condition anymore. Even if itcs for the vest logicallt, the simple fact other people aren't doing it will make them think you aren't giving them enough attention and therefore love. Bed them as soon as possible and if she wants you to wait for it, she's just toying with you.

>> No.20982737

It is childish and stupud, but so are women, and they love this sort of shit.

>> No.20982743

>>20979987
>your plain style and modest dress have always appealed to me
You were a hopeless case from that point onward. You just called her boring and less exotic compared to other girls. It doesnct matter what you meant, that's what she read.

>> No.20982860
File: 122 KB, 750x886, 2BA1AD9F-AD89-4FBA-AB89-9DA865034017.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20982860

>>20982675
It’s not a troll post, I’ve posted all my embarrassing texts to girls on here before because I find it funny, and the ridicule I get from anons is actually therapeutic because it helps me to see it as a joke and not care. Here, I’ll send some more so you can make fun of me:

>> No.20982863
File: 157 KB, 750x889, 0A1577C1-2F20-40EA-B51B-16E8BD140CD3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20982863

>>20982860

>> No.20982879

>>20982729
I don't have grandparents anymore

>> No.20983017

>>20982879
Sorry about that. Mine is still kicking, only sane woman i'd ever known.

>> No.20983094
File: 3.82 MB, 427x424, 1594374484962.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20983094

>>20975446

Depends on the culture and background of the woman. Some women are sapiosexual and dig it when a man utilizes his brain to fawn over them. Some women think it's bitch-made.

You should know who you're talking to well enough to "get" what approach will work for them. If you don't, it's a good sign your just infatuated and you need to take a step back.

One girl I used to date loved receiving letters, writing, and artwork; I used to call her my muse and she would melt. Another didn't even give me a chance after my first note, told me it was cowardly. One girl liked roses and thought it was pretty charming when I bought her some. Another girl gave me the "creep" look and threw them away when I was out of sight.

This stops happening once you get better at screening and assessing women, over time you will find your "type" and be able to make all the "right" moves.

It's not childish or stupid, it just depends on the girl. It also depends on you and your style as well. Some guys have a "dickhead" vibe even though they're really chill or shy, playing up to your vibe also helps screen. Sometimes you have to give people what they expect before you can give them what they want.

>> No.20983149

>>20982860
>>20982863
Anon, please don't post that stuff, it's embarrassing to us and you.

>> No.20983693

>>20982860
>>20982863
What 0 bussy does to a mf

>> No.20983749
File: 254 KB, 932x782, Wentworth.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20983749

>>20975446
>How childish or stupid is writing a letter to a woman?
Very, but you should do it anyway

>> No.20984002

>>20983749
>but you should do it anyway
Y tho

>> No.20984090

>>20982860
>>20982863
It's funny how men and women miscommunicate so badly. Men experience women as a total, featureless wall of arbitrary and erratic responses, like there's no handholds or footholds to gradually get better understanding of why a woman likes/liked you and learn from it, which is why it's so frustrating. Conversely women can't understand why men don't understand when they were momentarily "on target," and just keep doing what got them there. Their perception is that men will briefly be on target and then either veer off of it violently or bull through it 10x too hard.

None of this is some lazy "lol incel cringe" criticism of you, since anyone saying that has struck out just as badly a thousand times, if in their own way. But what's happening here is that she was genuinely initially interested in a fellow philosophy enthusiast, from a woman perspective, and was doing a "gentle" womanish opening up about it; your initial respond corresponded well enough to this, because it's kind of gnomic ("I'm a Kantian" could mean a lot -- it could also mean you're deep and read a lot) + mysterious (who just says "I'm a Kantian" unless they're interesting?) + confident (who has the confidence to be so interesting in such a non-everyday way?) etc. So she opened up further, a little hopeful but gentle, and also deferring to you because she is now assuming-hoping (these are entangled for women in their initial interest) you are the mysterious-confident-deep weird-but-in-a-way-that-works guy. She's giving you the "space" to conform to her expectations in her replies.

But what happens next is a classic man/woman misalignment moment: her engagement with the topic is pretty shallow, so it's hard to respond without bowling over her in some way (assuming the role of either the Pedant archetype or the Dudebro Explaining Marx Poorly at a Party archetype). This is further exacerbated by the fact that many women will respond positively to bowling over, and will misinterpret both the Pedant/Dudebro as further instances of the authoritative-confident archetype. But other women will find this douchey and disengage, possibly being cruel or cryptic while doing so, giving the man no room to learn from the experience, regardless of which archetype he instantiated.

>> No.20984095

>>20984090
What usually happens next in this rather large space you were given is that the man will fail to correspond to the limited range of archetypes the woman was wanting-expecting, and the branching open-ended narrative ("Is this philosophy man about to take me on an adventure?") she's playing with in her head will suddenly collapse. The situation at this point is totally undecidable: "read Russell then Plato" could be too dilettantish for an art hoe who wants more flash and the illusion of substance, something closer to a Zizekian Dudebro dilettante spouting off with way too much confidence. Or you could be talking to a total beginner who finds the mere fact that you know who Plato is and have the confidence to recommend him impressive. It could go either way.

She was undoubtedly the latter, and where you went wrong was jumping to the "So we gonna fuck or what lmao" thing. Now most people will just gloss over this and say dude cringe why did you do that etc. But as I was alluding to above, a lot of women WOULD respond positively to something like this, if not in the exact way you did it here, then at least the archetype represented by this display when performed properly. What you did here was a maladroit performance of another archetype altogether that would have been very risky either way, and that is really only performed by guys who are "already in," when the conversation is already a formality.

But the performance was maladroit because of a lack of information on your part. From the limited series of encounters you like most men have had with women where they just ghosted after the branching and delicate narrative in their head collapsed, you both haven't been able to derive enough data to build a coherent model of what women are doing and how it's different from what you're doing, and the information you have gotten is wildly inconsistent, cryptic, and often given cruelly. Simply put, it is not that far-fetched for men, who are all at least a little autistic, with relatively limited experience, to come up with projections and strategies like "Women want CONFIDENCE, okay, I get it I think, BE CONFIDENT. Women also see WEAKNESS as PATHETIC and are cruel, cryptic soul-crushers who will ghost if you make even one mistake. Therefore, I should install a 'Who Dares Wins' button in the middle of my cockpit and be ready to hammer it as soon as I have a rare opening!"

>> No.20984105

>>20984095
Yes, it's wrong, and naturally charismatic people OR (crucially) people who don't have to work so hard just to get a healthy number of initial openings or dating app matches (and thus can afford to take chances get messy and make mistakes) will say "lol cringe why does this guy not do the obvious." But the average joe who gets one decent match every few weeks or even months doesn't have those luxuries, and it's not hard to build a model of how he got from Step A to Step 'Who Dares Wins, Ask Her To Fuck NOW!!!' The chemical analysis is simple: he has been ghosted before for being too nice; things always seem to peter out when he does what his male brain would do with a man, namely be respectful and actually try to do talk about mutual interests in some depth. The fact that the latter almost never works with women, let alone that it often comes with cryptic and cruel accusations of being a pathetic loser or a clueless autist, brutalizes the man into assuming that the woman's total unpredictability and flightiness can only be conquered by a rare hail mary throw from center court.

There are a lot of small, relatively easy things that could make this bizarre dynamic a lot less painful for both sides. For example I advise always erring on the side of being pleasant and gentlemanly, even if it bears some risk of not being perceived as aggressive enough. Men don't understand this, because they hear constantly that women are all flighty picky psychopaths who only have time for alpha males, but you are entitled to be a bit weird and take things a bit slow. That itself is something men don't understand anymore, that you are entitled to be whatever it is that you are, and there is a much wider range of slight weirdness or idiosyncrasy than any young man currently thinks. There's supposed to be a give and take or a dialectic of asserting your rights to your own preferences and style, and accepting and integrating criticism or failures based on unreasonableness in your preferences or deficiencies in your style. It is possible to be too taciturn, or to take things too slow. But it's also possible that you are a taciturn guy who wants a girl who can talk a little bit about shared interests. As a modern man you are trained to ONLY think of the woman as this inhumanly flighty frivolous selection mechanism, so you will interpret your taciturnity and thus your missed connection with some woman who didn't like taciturnity as you being a loser.

>> No.20984111

>>20984105
Men who would be and probably are perfectly pleasant guys in any other situation deform themselves into degrading and degraded three point shot takers. But it's not their fault, it's because women have infinite choice and can afford to let a bunch of guys TAKE three point shots until one really really distinguishes himself, while also playing endless free practice games with the rare superhumanly gifted Chads. In other times and societies, those Chads would normally be taken, and everybody would normally know much more instinctively that the game isn't meant to be played this way or for this long. This would in turn make sex and dating less psychically damaging, creating healthier less neurotic people, and make it less central to people's lives overall, creating more well-rounded people, both of which would reciprocally make dating more fun because everyone would be healthier, more interesting, etc. Things are so fucked in ways that are no individual person's fault.

So even if all the nice advice and wisdom in the world were collated, like "err on the side of being a good person," "the hail mary shot taking wisdom only makes sense from a very limited perspective," "if she's talking to you, you are doing better than you think, so don't take any wild shots," "don't fear rejection or a fizzling out either; if this girl wanted you to somehow read her mind and know philosophy talk was now over and you were supposed to transition to pussy grabbing, you probably weren't compatible anyway, and the next one or the one after that will flow like water" etc., none of it would matter because the guy receiving this advice might not GET a "next one" for another 6 months, or he might miss meeting his soulmate because she got tired of Office-watching beta males and decided to be self-indulgent and have another fling with a Chad she half-consciously knows is bad for her, taking her off the market for months or years and psychically degrading her.

As a man trying to date in this hell maybe the only two things you can reliably do, aside from becoming the best and most well-rounded version of yourself in general, are, one, to become aware of how fucked things are objectively, and as a corollary, how it's not entirely your fault, and it's not personally pathetic or some statement about your validity as a person, it's just a sad state of society; and two, to un-train your cynical, brutalized habits, like the nervous tic of thinking you have to capitalize on this rare opening by going for the jugular and saying some "confident" shit. It's undignified, it's rarely effective, and you don't even want the rare few women with whom it is effective. They are likewise brutalized, they don't even mean the shit they say, they are saying it to try to fit in and be what they're told is normal even when it's horribly bad for them. In general, never do something that is undignified or unworthy either of your self-respect or that of the person you're talking to.

>> No.20984116

>>20984111
But adopting this more relaxed, nuanced perspective requires the very unfair and very sad acceptance that you may just not find a decent partner for long stretches. That being said, it will at least do wonders for your mental health. Like I was saying, take the pressure off yourself of thinking you're somehow a failure or a loser because a woman said "I like philosophy, what kind of philosophy do you like?" and you replied normally and in good faith and she "found it weird" that you sent a sincere response instead of knowing she was just initiating a secret handshake with the illusion of actual interests as a pretext. That doesn't mean you can't integrate legitimate information, like the fact that autistically sending 20 messages back as your first reply is going to appeal to a very limited range of women, just speaking empirically. But hey, there is also room in this world for people that fucking autistic to charm the pants off a girl who likes it for some reason. You have to find your own savoir faire and intuitive feeling for the dynamic you want. But you can at least deprogram the cynical, brutalized reflexes you've acquired, the shitty folk wisdom you've assimilated from a deeply unwell and broken society.

I swear, men can't even see a woman anymore, all they see is Women talking to them. This Women is the one Women I've matched with in 3 months, I HAVE to make this shit work! What's the universal skeleton key to Women? Talking about interests is beta! What if she's already getting bored, oh god what do I do! I should endlessly pore over her texts that she gave very little thought to, or she only sent because she is herself a careless person I wouldn't get along with anyway, or she was just in a bad mood, or has a different texting style! I should do something drastic that doesn't feel like me at all but that I've grafted onto my own instincts out of desperation because my own instincts are totally invalid and I'm a piece of garbage and Women can all secretly sense it!

The collective category "Women" has become the externalized Superego of a society of men with severe Ego-dystonia. It's like the self-loathing and submissive form of narcissism that revolves around near-psychotic fear of one's totally invalid and worthless Ego being "found out," so one's entire life is lived in the shadow of being outed as the loser one knows deep down one is. But this Women figure isn't even like a tyrannical patriarchal father figure, which can at least be understood and recreated internally by men. Since women are so different from men it feels like trying to build in endlessly shifting sand. Women are flighty, stupid, childish, cruel; but there is also some perverse animal logic to "dominating" them into approving of you, and you aren't allowed to just repudiate them as stupid or immoral, or your Ego will be publically displayed and pilloried even by your fellow men.

>> No.20984120

>>20984116
This just isn't the way any of this shit is supposed to happen, men are supposed to have their own cores, their own socially stabilized systems of internalized and externalized Ego-Superego relations, which women with their respective and corresponding archetypes fundamentally respect. Men are SUPPOSED to be a little fucking autistic, they're supposed to be a little cringey, their horniness is supposed to be a thing that both drives them to do cute devotional stuff and also requires hemming in occasionally, there is supposed to be a little joy in a man stumbling and bumbling because he wants to court you, all of this is supposed to be channeled into stock forms that are taken for granted and therefore fun to play around with. That's where comedy tropes and compelling romance stories with ups and downs and reversals come from. Men are supposed to have socially stabilized guidelines and pathways for courting women, men and women are supposed to forgive and advise each other about their flubs and inadequacies because they actually understand the stock forms and archetypes. We are not supposed to encounter each other as de-sexed pornogrified neurotic sex addicts.

>> No.20984180
File: 1.79 MB, 275x275, lights.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20984180

>>20984120
What website am i on

>> No.20984276

>>20975446
It itself it is neither childish nor stupid, but sending a letter to the vast majority of modern western women is both stupid and very naive.

>> No.20984442

>>20975826
But I don't do sex. It's dirty.

>> No.20984855

>>20983094
>Some women are sapiosexual
Where are these women

>> No.20984884

>>20984090
>Men experience women as a total, featureless wall of arbitrary and erratic responses
i-it's not like that?

>> No.20984955

>>20975497
Not in this life my friend.

>> No.20984980

>>20975472
My gf still has some letters from highschool, they are embarrassing tbqh but she seems to like them

>> No.20985005

>>20975497

Women dont really love the way we do. Its not going to happen. Although to be honest most men dont really love either, past high school.

>> No.20985012
File: 266 KB, 1600x1150, hahah.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20985012

>>20983094
>some women are sapiosexual

>> No.20985312
File: 265 KB, 677x782, fall-of-the-western-roman-empire-roman-kingdom-byzantine-empire-roman-legion-others-d882f5b12fd4613c4c7fa709d6e20c0a.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20985312

>>20984955

>> No.20985394

>>20984120
nice effortpost, anon. i'm assuming you're the same as the one in the evola thread with the shitty OP a couple days ago. i appreciate your posts :)

>> No.20985488
File: 113 KB, 634x1119, 31119438-8554143-image-m-82_1595530174904.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20985488

>>20984090
>>20984095
>>20984105
>>20984111
>>20984116
>>20984120
fuck this bullshit and read Joyce while listening to Sibelius
https://youtu.be/X74jHkUZRFw?list=PL3UZpQL9LIxN0O7wxnylqoBaXgj0-NSTl

>> No.20985582

>>20975446
>How childish or stupid is writing a letter to a woman?
I did it, and I don’t regret it even though she never responded. We knew each other since we were in middle school. She was my best friend. It’s a long, complicated story, but the bottom line is that I still love her, and I failed her at her lowest by abandoning her and telling her that I don’t. Now she’s in a cult or some shit, and she thinks I’m an unstable lunatic because I took too much LSD and went crazy in our neighborhood.

It’s a mess, but I’m a better man now, and I still have hope for her.

>> No.20985671

>>20985582
>I took too much LSD and went crazy in our neighborhood.
Tell us that story anon

>> No.20985676

go for broke and out-joyce james joyce

>> No.20985683

>>20975446
Take it from someone who knows. NEVER be literary to a normie. It scares them. Speak only in platitudes.

>> No.20985872

>>20985683
Truth.

>> No.20986189

>>20978604
>You clearly know nothing about monkey sexuality, begone
I dunno, he described brown people's sexuality perfectly.

>> No.20986239

>>20977147
>Depends on the circumstance. Writing a letter to a girl you've never spoken to or barely spoken to is a definite no.
This is clearly the case if he’s asking 4chan. He wouldn’t be asking if he knew this girl well.

>> No.20986503

>>20984120
incredible posts, man.

>> No.20986752

>>20986239
Not to mention it'll be creepy as fuck.

>> No.20986767

>>20986752
Nah this is retarded. All love poems throughout history would be considered le creepy by you retards.

Men buy personal collections of pornography from young women online and its not le creepy as fuck but its le creepy as fuck to tell a girl you love her. No wonder there are so many aggressive sexual predators and misogynists.

>> No.20986771

I had covid for two weeks during lockdown, and my gf wrote me a letter every day. She would leave me parcels of snacks with these letters by my door. Women are ok sometimes.

>> No.20987127

>>20986767
>Men buy personal collections of pornography from young women online and its not le creepy as fuck but its le creepy as fuck to tell a girl you love her. No wonder there are so many aggressive sexual predators and misogynists.
Why should men tell women that they love them?

>> No.20987241

>>20987127
Because love is the most beautiful thing and if they shouldn't tell that then they should tell and do nothing, reducing all life to nihilism and this discussion to pointlessness especially your questions about love.

>> No.20987242

>>20984120
>>20984116
>>20984111
>>20984105
>>20984095
>>20984090
these are genuinely nice on the spot posts, i enjoyed these, even if they'll do nothing for me after i read them or whatever, gj.

>> No.20987529

>>20984120
Actual effort posting. I'm going to screenshot and study these.
Thank you Anon.

>> No.20987911
File: 93 KB, 512x384, 1605979956201.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20987911

>>20987241
>Because love is the most beautiful thing
Stop

>> No.20987925

>>20975446
OP here lads, i'm going to give her the letter today, wish me luck

>> No.20988042

>>20987925
Make sure you come back here to tell us how it went, OP.
Good luck

>> No.20988262

>>20984120
Enjoyed all your posts, but I think they miss some key stuff
>>20975446
It's a bit childish and really retarded usually. But if you find in the position where you think you might regret it more for not writing it, I say go for it. Sometimes we just need to talk and the medium is a bit stronger than just a regular text.
I have actually written a love letter to my ex girlfriend. I feel I must have came off as pretty unhinged but she went to my place as soon as she read it and hugged me. But the whole experience kinda of traumatized me and I'm unable to form new bonds. I also sended it once to my therapist but I became so stressed that I pledged her not to read it, I hope she didn't. In the end I just gate how much I love her, because it was what made it impossible for us to be friends and I grief in silence everyday since.

If you go for it, best of lucks anon.

>> No.20988631

>>20980558
She still held it safe and didn't throw it away while you were dating. Means something desu

>> No.20989390

>>20985488
is that the farting lady?

>> No.20989419

>>20988631
Well, she certainly was not a bad woman to do something like that, but the point is that she did not love them and treasure them forever even if she hated me... like that anon claimed...

>> No.20990675

>>20975446
Very childish but women in nature love childish things

>> No.20990687

>>20980065
>be homo
>the only thing that attracts you is sodomy
Repulsive

>> No.20990707
File: 1.61 MB, 1000x792, 1654528108784.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
20990707

>>20975446
>to a woman
cringe
but, to a friend?
based

i say this as someone who has much enjoyed letters from women, some even mailed all the way from another country. at the very least, they ought to have sent you one first. it would seem too out-of-place, ill-fitting, and primarily awkward otherwise. next, you ought to write well. like a man ought to write. sufficient, not needy, but striking where it counts.

>> No.20990718

>>20975446
I wrote letters to a girl I hadn't even met yet when I was in the military (conscription). She was a friend of my servicemate and we exchanged letters for a few months, went on a date and eventually lived together for a while before we broke up.

If she's into you it will work, if she isn't into you, it's not the letters fault. Good luck anon.

>> No.20990827

>>20979987
You have autism

>> No.20992176

>>20980087
No, I refuse

>> No.20993620

>>20975472
It is, in the same way women will always love receiving flowers and jewelry.

>> No.20993641

>>20980029
This. This screams, "I have a big fucking vagina and no balls."

>> No.20993642

>>20979987
Naïve, autistic, virginal, weak, beta, simp, rookie mistake.

You do NOT tell women ANYTHING like this so directly. Show, don't tell. Use action to speak, not words. Do better.