Write What's On Your Mind

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Write What's On Your Mind Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:20:37 2022 No.19800146 [Reply] [Original]

WWOYM: A Million Stories Left Untold edition

Previous >>19793901

Theme https://youtu.be/GxjHMRgbH4g

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:21:49 2022 No.19800151

>>19800146
I’m guilty, having fucked a lot,
Casually, with friends, with strangers,
And hookers, prostitutes, and sluts!
It’s because the Demiurgos
Blew sexual desires into clay
From which we were wrought then fashioned,
And now it’s my psychic decay!
O god, forgive me of my sins…

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:22:14 2022 No.19800153 I got a big dick and no one to put it in.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:27:09 2022 No.19800171

I am feeling calmer about the future. I have come to realise that (almost) nothing is permanent and that it is OK to change your mind. I think the important thing is to at least head in some direction - even you come to realise it is the wrong direction. Sometimes making the wrong decision can put into focus the right decision and help you reach a conclusion you might never have reached if you hadn't have made the initial decision. Sure, it can be tiring when you realise that you've headed the wrong way and that you need to double back, but that is better than staying in one spot and remaining stranded there.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:34:46 2022 No.19800191 I wasted my 20's. Im so angry at myself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:35:37 2022 No.19800195 Breaking up with my fiance, wish me luck

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:36:15 2022 No.19800199 >>19800191 Youth unwasted is youth wasted.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:38:20 2022 No.19800202 >>19800146 The first frame of that gif is so pleasant, I was really hopping it was going to be a thumbnail of a nice large version. No love.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:41:34 2022 No.19800213 What I would give for the mods on /lit/ to do their jobs. /sffg/ is such a shithole.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:46:03 2022 No.19800229 >>19800199 What I mean by wasting is that I did absolutely nothing with it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:56:38 2022 No.19800251 Tomorrow I'm going to go to the gym. Read 50 or so pages of my book. Apply to government assistance. Make some notes in my journal.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:56:45 2022 No.19800252 >>19800229 Don't cry just because your life looks different from anime.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 04:57:46 2022 No.19800255

>>19800199
That's really smart actually.
>>19800191
I thought this until I hit thirty and started meeting successful people who thought THEY wasted their 20s by doing exactly what they were told, and not taking risks. I mean you take a cut in some part of your life or another. The extremes are bad. I know a woman I went to high school with who makes 120k a year, but she's basically had no social life for ten years. Similar case with a cousin of mine. These people marry young, and are usually pretty smart, if boring. They're not socially versatile. They get trapped by only knowing their coworkers, and past a certain income, the only thing they HAVE is money, which is not pleasant. Sit down with them and try to have a conversation. They're going to bring up money and responsibilities. They all carry it like a weight. There's exceptions. My cousin is a pretty happy guy, but that's because he was always happy. The depressed people in high school? They're depressed now, whether or not they "wasted" their youth.
What really gets me is talking to high-earning people and seeing how much anxiety, and BOREDOM, they have. Too many of them don't have selves to turn to. They're envious of people who read books and spend their free time with their hobbies. Eight years of college has fried their minds.
I have an uncle who never made a dime until he was 38, and he's crazy, and he's 10 times happier than anyone else I knew who spent their best years being good boys and girls.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:06:27 2022 No.19800280 >>19800213 Read Bakker. Truth Shines

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:07:08 2022 No.19800283

>>19800255
There is a lot of truth in what you are saying and I think you make a really good point. However, you mention your uncle but not everyone's life pans out that way. I know plenty of men in their 50s who did nothing in their 20s and 30s but party and pursue their 'passions' etc. and are now middle aged with no partner, no money and no friends, spending Christmas alone because their family has died or moved away and no one else their age wants to hang out when they've got families of their own. I meet these guys and they'll often sit me down and tell me not to waste my 20s.

The point is obviously to try and find some sort of balance, but that's easier said than done.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:07:44 2022 No.19800284 There are literal 30+ year olds browsing 4chan. What went wrong? >t. 23 year old

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:14:10 2022 No.19800302

>>19800229
Oh, then you might be fucked. You've basically hardwired your brain's reward systems for ten years so that you're stuck in a feedback loop of low entropy habits, consisting of menial pleasures (and you probably know what I mean by this--I don't fucking know--video games?). Socially speaking, you've relegated yourself to a marginal low status existence. You have doubly fucked yourself if you've also been unemployed for most of that time, because then you've also trained yourself to live without being productive, which is going to kill you by the time you're 40 because you'll be unemployable with no skills nor work ethic. If you've not made many friends nor have any dating game, then you're triply fucked because you're terminally un-dateable, and you're probably develop serious medical conditions by the time you're fifty, and which point your entropy will run closer to zero.
I think it is absolutely criminal that parents let their children do this to themselves, and I might suspect your parents are mentally ill.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:16:53 2022 No.19800306 >>19800252 Its not about my life being an anime but rather life not being a life. >>19800255 Can you really become authentically happy after decades of misery and unhappiness?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:20:29 2022 No.19800314 >>19800306 "life not being a life" is such an anime thing to say, though. It's fiction. It's passé. It's no use. Take the bull (your past) by the horns and fling it into the dust. Lift your hind leg and piss on the world's leg.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:21:46 2022 No.19800318 >>19800314 But this anon >>19800302 says that Im fucked.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:21:56 2022 No.19800319 >>19800283 This is going to be me, except I wasted my 20s and 30s reading and learning stuff that wont make me money or allow me to meet people.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:24:23 2022 No.19800325

>>19800284
As an old fag (41), nothing went wrong. I browse and use it as a resource, only post on a few authors/books which are not talked about much or on the odd whim. Mostly i just keep an eye out for worthwhile reads and watch the trends, been here since the beginning and it has been quite interesting seeing how it has changed over the years. Most days my 4chan time is under 15 minutes and quite often under 5 minutes, just a quick scan. /lit/ is the only board I still visit.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:24:24 2022 No.19800326
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Was deciding on UC Davis and UC San Diego as transfer student in june of last year, ended up choosing Davis because I wanted to be close with my family in the North Bay, they offered more money, and I originally wanted to intern with the state in Sacramento
I am regretting my decision. Thinking about how much fun I could have had in my early-mid twenties in San Diego. The school is fine, the problem is that its located in the middle of nowhere and since I am still pretty close to where I was born and raised I do not feel like I'm growing as a person. I graduate next year
How do you guys get over regrets?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:25:01 2022 No.19800329 >>19800146 Good Morning Ladies and Sirs too!!! Carpe Diem!

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:26:39 2022 No.19800332 >>19800319 I'd like to be optimistic but I think entering the priesthood might be your only choice anon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:29:11 2022 No.19800337 >>19800318 Maybe the stuff he writes makes sense if you're depressed, but for normal life, it's garbage. Imagine someone offers you a job and you turn it down with a statement like that >>19800302. You weren't a loser until you turned down the job.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:31:27 2022 No.19800344

>>19800306
Something people don't talk about is how big a deal religious conversions are, especially in the latter half of life. I don't think there is any more reliable way of transforming your personality without a significant religious experience.
People who are genuinely miserable for long periods of time have a lot of common factors, many of which are personality factors. Personality traits are heritable. There's cycles of family trauma, and "external" factors like serious poverty.
I have a rather extensive family, and I've learned a lot by observing their connections closely, and speaking with them seriously as often as possible.
Sadness is hereditary. It's actually terrifying in a way to notice how much in common each family has its own "emotional aura", and going even further back reveals how a family basically remains the same throughout the generations. My grandfather, who is very old, is quite observant, and he says that basically all the males in my family have been the same at least since 1900! We're all middle-achieving intellectuals who usually marry women far outside our social strata who wind up pretty happy. Then I get into conversations with my mother, and I see lots of sadness on her side. Lots of angry, lonely men who marry neurotic women. This stuff is strange and I probably overthink it. There's also a history of cancer and alcoholism on her side, and my father's side has no serious illnesses nor drug abuse.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:37:10 2022 No.19800357 >>19800344 Have you met a person who changed his personality for the better after a deep religious experience?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:57:51 2022 No.19800398 >>19800302 This sounds like a early-twenties vision of how life will be after your eraly-twenties

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 05:59:04 2022 No.19800402

>>19800344
interesting, I do this with my family except both sides are middling, mostly miserable addicts, but it's all very middle-class, so I'm alright. it's tough
not to get caught up in this familial-analysis as signifying greatly oneself, writ large across many possible life-choices and paths. sounds like you (consciously?) side with your grandfather's side over your mother's. probably a good bet.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:01:00 2022 No.19800408 I've never been in a relationship, had sex or even a kiss in my life (30 years). Im a sensitive person so maybe God been protecting me all this time from killing myself because of rejection or breakup.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:02:00 2022 No.19800411 >>19800325 what's changed in terms of taste, who's been fluctuatingly shilled on here over the years?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:11:44 2022 No.19800439 >>19800302 How do I turn my life around at age 24 so I don't end up like this

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:15:56 2022 No.19800442

>>19800357
Yes, one person that I know personally, another through a friend, many of whom I've read about, and, well myself, have gone through the crucible. I had three religious experiences in my thirties, which were impossible to describe, each of which were also successive developments in a decidedly obvious change in my personality, and culminated in a conversion to Christianity. To this day, I spend probably far too much time trying to compare myself today to what I was like before. In simple words, what I usually tell people is that I am a grateful person, in ways which I could not have imagined before. I have happiness now which would have been by no means reasonable to my former self. It required a factor which did not exist in my old world. If that's not religious, than I don't know what is.
A friend of mine converted to Buddhism after "successful experiments" in meditation, and a guided therapy session using some psychedelic which I can't remember. He's obviously still going through the process now. He speaks in much deeper terms than he used to. He's thirty.
Another friend of a friend converted to Catholicism in his middle age. The rumor is that when he was trying to quit drinking for the last time he started going to church, and then he heard God talking to him in his dreams. I only talked to him twice about this, and he said God told him if that he confessed his sins he will stop drinking. Apparently he had never considered this until God told him so. This started a cascade of realizing what he had done to his children, and I saw him brought to tears. He was terrified that God had been watching him. He quit drinking. I can't say for sure how else he changed.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:17:30 2022 No.19800447 >>19800325 Shouldn't grown ass people use less social media and internet? Being a wiki editor is probably the only thing I see lower than being a 4channer.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:23:56 2022 No.19800465

>>19800302
I took two hundred hours and more of sick leave every school year. I played Halo 2 and listened to Static X from dawn to dawn. I never had a girlfriend. I never hung out with the cool kids. I never kept up a hobby or a good pretense for longer than not long at all. At 25 I had nothing to show for it. At 27 I have a job, a wife, and a house and a hobby. If it's possible for me, a total fuck up, it's possible for you, too.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:26:25 2022 No.19800470 >>19800465 >Static X best song?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:35:17 2022 No.19800499 >>19800465 well go on, how'd you do it?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:35:38 2022 No.19800500

>>19800439
Start re-framing your low-grade habits as degrading pleasures. That's step one. Step two means building habits that require investments, like going to the gym, or effortful and long-term, anything at all. You need to re-wire your brain to get used to demanding more for yourself. Soon a miserable existence will be intolerable to you. You have to build yourself is what I'm saying. If you're unemployed and low-status, and spend too much time alone, then you need to call yourself what you are. You're living a larval, neotenous existence. This kills people. It's the same thing that characters the worst kind of people.
You should see a therapist, and if you're depressed, you should definitely see a therapist, and treat them like an employee. Demand results, and if you're not getting effective feedback, get another therapist.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:42:09 2022 No.19800515 >>19800146 the great and little satan do foul shit, get the inevitable reaction and then the msm lie to everyone that the reaction is entirely without legitimate motivation it makes being alive in the world very tiring

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:54:17 2022 No.19800548

>>19800470
>best song?
Maybe it's just nostalgia, but the album I like best is Cannibal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nnNK8HMIQg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwWXTB58QtQ

>>19800499
>how'd you do it?
It depends on the person, doesn't it? I'll list some things I did. This will sound corny. And snooty.

I made up my mind one day that, if I wanted to change something, I had to do the leg work myself. So I got myself some neat clothes (second hand), sent out letters of application (most of which returned in the negative), rehearsed etiquette (I read Knigge and practiced in the supermarket), read the new testament (not to find God, but to get in touch with christian virtues), and did a few other things: I started a notebook in which I write down the strengths of those around me, and another in which I write down my weaknesses. I realized that I do best when I help others, instead of helping myself, so I started to become a "supporting character".

There were some tof the hings I did.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 06:57:09 2022 No.19800555 >>19800548 *This were some of the things I did.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:01:10 2022 No.19800569 >>19800555 ya blew it

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:05:55 2022 No.19800591 File: 263 KB, 1080x1080, 1606844466076.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19800569 O kniw

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:14:55 2022 No.19800608 all intentional action is prayer

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:17:48 2022 No.19800613 >>19800284 >What went wrong? I mean if I'm honest I guess most of it. I did stop between about 17 and 23, but then everything was so fucked and I needed a laugh

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:25:52 2022 No.19800639

>>19800411
Main change is that the board has moved more towards people going through a reading phase, so they read those things which they decided were classics at some point in their lives or seek out books to suit an image they are building. Board used to be avid readers, much more widely read and had a sense of humor about themselves and their autism. The writing culture mostly died but seems to be starting to come back, which would be great, that is my missed part of old /lit/. Just look at the top 100 for any given year to see who was fluctuatingly shilled, that is pretty much what they represent.
>>19800447
Social media is rather popular with people of my age and I can not think of anyone I know who does not have at least one social media account, even my parents use facebook. 4chan is the sum total of my social media usage, never used any of the others. Don't use internet much and the only reason I have internet is because my cheap phone plan comes with 5gigs a month, I rarely use all 5 gigs. I am comfortable with my internet use.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:30:54 2022 No.19800651
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>>19800284
chronic/seasonal unemployment. No sense of agency or ability to control the arc of my life (i.e. not earning enough money), and a drug-addict like obsession with online forums and social media that even though it's 99.99999% shit may hopefully one day provide that non-existant magic key or crumb of direction that will lead me down the path to solving my aforementioned financial/existential issues.
I have this (retarded) fantasy that one day I come across a thread where some anon greentexts a quote from a book which is legit the best psychological/marketing manual on earth or something. but this time it's for real.
Its not all bad. I made out with a woman last night and I got a date with another woman tomorrow.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:32:54 2022 No.19800655

>>19800639
Biggest change is that this board used to primarily discuss fiction and even new fiction releases. Now it is all non fiction - mostly philosophy. That's easily the biggest change.

You're right about the writing culture. I miss when /lit/ had its own writers that people got around like Tolsti. In general the board used to be A LOT more fiction oriented.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:38:10 2022 No.19800669 >>19800655 >Tolsti I meant Kolsti btw

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:42:03 2022 No.19800676

>>19800442
>I had three religious experiences in my thirties, which were impossible to describe, each of which were also successive developments in a decidedly obvious change in my personality, and culminated in a conversion to Christianity.
How did the first one happen?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 07:44:27 2022 No.19800683

>>19800655
>Biggest change is that this board used to primarily discuss fiction and even new fiction releases.
As I said, used to be well read, avid readers.

There has been some actual serious effort posts in the 'this image in your best prose' threads lately, not /wg/ type or literal interpretations, but serious attempts at creativity and the literary. Still has a long ways to go but for quite a few years they were just filled with shit posting. The people starting the threads are mostly not good at selecting images these days, but there has been some decent ones, a screen shot of various chairs for sale had promise but the thread got pruned before it could really get going.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:03:40 2022 No.19800745 I don't consider the body to be a part of me and await patiently for death to free me.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:08:08 2022 No.19800757 >>19800745 I consider everything to be a part of the same substance and await patiently for death to change its properties.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:15:43 2022 No.19800777

>>19800676
I was having a lot of strange dreams, and when I thought about those dreams I would be pulled in by their meaning. It was like I was being shown many things in order to catalyze some new realizations for myself. It worked. Each dream was like a parable. I had started to get synchronicities in my waking life. It got to the point where I was having dreams about my own soul, like visiting my own soul, except it wouldn't talk, and I couldn't figure out what to do in this dream. This was very tricky, and the unconscious seemed to be giving me suggestions at many angles, and the point seemed to be to get me to create, or realize, my own soul. I never told anybody this, of course.
One Sunday I woke up and I was making breakfast, but I was so distracted by a dream I had, a dream where I was burrowing out of the earth and blindly running up a hill toward the light, that suddenly I turned off the stove, drank some water, and went for walk. It was already hot outside. I was thinking. I would form a sentence, something like an aphorism, which I would repeat in another way, and then another, each feeling more true than the last. My body started to shiver. I was walking uphill toward a park on the edge of town. Finally my teeth were shaking, and I could barely think anymore what I was thinking. I was shocked that I was in full religious rapture. I discovered what was really happening, with all the dreams, with my soul that I was trying to figure out, and what everything was pointing toward. I sat down on top of a hill, and started praying. I never felt anything so ecstatic in my life. I arrived at a single thought, or an image, which I can't repeat.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:26:43 2022 No.19800799 >>19800777 blessed post and blessed numbers

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:39:21 2022 No.19800831 >>19800302 what a load of bullshit. the rancid /r9k/ smell is strong with this post. but i suspect it's bait.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:40:46 2022 No.19800835 >>19800191 Lots of people do. Rarely do people have it all figured out in their twenties. And by the time they do, they turn thirty.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:43:19 2022 No.19800852 Reading this thread makes me realize dying early is the only way to avoid a middle life of despair.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:47:14 2022 No.19800863 Dites moi selon vous quelle est la pire chose qui pourrait vous arriver et la meilleur ?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:49:18 2022 No.19800870 >>19800835 Im already 30 still havent figured it out

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:53:39 2022 No.19800883

>>19800852
i think there's certain misguided societal pressures and idealizations present in the west, more specifically america, that bound people to the mid-life crisis spook. here in the third world, you mostly witness that phenomenon amongst those already trying to emulate a contemporary occidental-minded life, which is an ever increasing number. there's other sources of despair. if you feel the need to commit suicide, just pack up and leave to a land that is lower on the totem pole of material success. you're already dead anyway.
i hope to make a good nest for myself with the guys in their advanced ages who were free from those conventions. a nice little home near an oasis sounds like a mighty fine plan.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 08:54:42 2022 No.19800885

>>19800639
classics and canon autism can have truly disreputable consequences, ironically. meanwhile there's such a levity to the unadulterated interest in fiction, be it literary or genre shit, whatever. just read books, fellas. novels are wills to life, read them and love to live.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:02:56 2022 No.19800908

>>19800883
>if you feel the need to commit suicide, just pack up and leave to a land that is lower on the totem pole of material success.
I daydream about this all the time. Just worry what my family would think.
>you're already dead anyway.
I've called myself the walking dead man before. You're not wrong.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:05:48 2022 No.19800914

>stuck trying to be a guy my ex would have wanted
>can't telp if this is adaptation or maladapted
>not sure that guy exists
>probably like myself better than him on all levels
>like her tho

>she probably actually liked me
>probably wasn't the problem
>makes me judgemental, keeping a strange ideal in mind

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:06:49 2022 No.19800920 so sick of the LIBS! something must be done about the LIBS! we need to get rid of these LIBS!

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:08:30 2022 No.19800927

Attendance had been quite tame at this years dog show.
News had broken out about most of the crowd favourites being under investigation for domestic terrierism.
Neverless, the audience had felt compelled to sit, stay, and occasionally, speak. Despite the undeniable mundanity

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:19:12 2022 No.19800968 >>19800927 If this is your own joke then it sucks. If this is one of Norm's then it subtle comedy genius beyond compare.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:23:27 2022 No.19800981

I just can't do it anymore, everything is pain, from the moment I wake up until I fall asleep. There is nothing bad which happens to me, no one wants to harm me, I am not a hobo, I just feel lonely everywhere I am, I can go to work, talk with people, etc. but I still feel lonely, is like everyone around me is part of a matrix and I am the only one real.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:23:38 2022 No.19800982 any /handicraft/ chads here?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:23:48 2022 No.19800983 >>19800927 the audience felt itself the spectacle, now. they couldn't just leave. their almost tensile boredom was the best chance they'd be given to be the more themselves: peak performance.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:30:23 2022 No.19801016 >>19800981 Why do you feel lonely?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:31:17 2022 No.19801021 >>19800968 Howd you know it was norms so quick?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:32:18 2022 No.19801024 >>19800983 Nice.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:37:22 2022 No.19801044 >>19801016 As I said, I feel like I am the only person who is real in this world. Probably is due to the fact that I don't enjoy doing the things which I used to do so in a certain sense I left the world of those around me.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 09:54:06 2022 No.19801097
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My friend said I should start posting in sites in medium to make it easier for me to get hired for some side or part time work in writing. But I'm struggling to find a topic and can't get rid of the cringe at what I write.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:09:25 2022 No.19801171 >>19800191 Time cannot be wasted only lived, the only reason you feel as though you've wasted your time is because you are unhappy with who you currently are.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:11:05 2022 No.19801176 >>19801171 I've always been unhappy with myself. The more I want to change myself the more fearful I become and the more I stand still, the angrier I become at myself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:11:47 2022 No.19801179 Tomorrow is my first day of work in a month and I hate it. I gotta get a work from home job.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:16:56 2022 No.19801198 >>19801176 I was locked into inaction like you for a long time, you have to come to terms with the fact that the current iteration of you is going to die and that you must change.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:21:25 2022 No.19801220

Girls are really creepy and weird and it’s pretty much insane derangement to be actively interested in having a conversation with them. Being ‘normal’ basically just means comfortability with being dominate or submissive in a social setting, that’s what it means to ‘be yourself’, instead of being ashamed of it. I narcissistically abused tons of people in my youth and the school authorities deeply shamed me for it. Now I can’t stand loud mouths or little introverted arrogant people that think they are clever. If I gave into the girl meme I’d have probably like 5 kids right now. I just want piles and piles of glittering gold and I want to sleep in darkness and the only light comes from the gold glittering and dancing and whispering things into my ear. If I had a family I’d lock them away and forbid them from leaving and they’d all sleep around me and be my personal counselors

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:26:23 2022 No.19801243 >>19801220 We get it, you are a dragon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:31:01 2022 No.19801267 God I really, really, really, really, really, really should have dated that autistic girl.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:33:05 2022 No.19801278 >>19801198 >current iteration of you is going to die I completely understand but I feel like I'm going to die without the current one because the future one has not appeared yet.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:38:11 2022 No.19801303

The frosted wingtips of Twilight's outspread pegasus wings glinted steadily whilst she soared like the eagle, front legs
outstretched toward the city which have walls that are made of minted rainbow marble qurried from out the underside of Heaven itself. Her
eyes surveyed from side to side countryside left and right. Her neck was like a chess piece in profile. The clouds swirled overhead
like the face of a James Joyce character. She was a character in an Edgar Allan Poe poem for liquid tears dropfully. What will she do, oh
no, when she arrives at court in Canterlot to account for her crimes? Perhaps it would be best to flee to Albion. Jewels of oblivion
studded the cliff face upon which the monolithic city, her destination, was mounted. Curls of grey clouds unfurled from the peak of the
mountain and slow lightning clung to their edifice, plasma vines seeping across the bulwark.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 10:57:39 2022 No.19801410 Nothing on my mind, just drinking some Jack Daniel's Honey edition and listening to some Bowie (Low)

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:03:17 2022 No.19801431

>>19801278
You've got to figure out who you want to be, what your values are, what is important to you. Have to develop your inner life through reflection and then action. It took a very long time for the me I am soon to be to reveal himself to me. but now that he has I feel reassured in all things.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:05:59 2022 No.19801454

“Today is the day we make those words true again, today is the day we make them mean something.”

He reaches out, reaches up, his heavy hand clad now in leather and iron, falls between my ears. Even with this extra weight, these many layers, I can still feel how gentle he is inside it all - the most caring, dedicated, loving father a mare could ever ask for. He is still the same man he always was, even encased by such tools of foul play.

As his fingers move down the side of my face, cupping my cheek, a thumb wipes away a single tear from my eye, a tear threatening to betray how I feel in this moment. I will not say the words I long to say, I will be strong for my father, I will not make his parting any harder for him than it already is.

He turns, pulling the canvas flap wide, stepping forth into the world beyond its veil. The canvas falls back behind him and, with that instant, my father is gone, and in his place are left eight little words.

Words that roll around in my head.

Words that I will remember for the rest of my days.

Words that my father believes in.

Words to live by.

Words to die for.

“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.“

And I know now why he must go.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:31:46 2022 No.19801598 I am not going to say that your mother should have aborted you. I think instead your grandmother should have aborted your mother.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:37:07 2022 No.19801638

>>19800146
What ever happened to shame? Shame is what inspires dignity. I'm supposed to not only tolerate fags, but fucking cheer them on. What ever happened to shame? You go to your doctor with worms on in your urethra, look at me straight in the eyes and tell me you shoved it up your boyfriends ass. Or "mabye it was Alex". What ever happened to shame?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:39:14 2022 No.19801650 >>19801638 You should be ashamed of yourself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:39:44 2022 No.19801653 >>19800195 Why?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:42:06 2022 No.19801663 For those whom God to ruin has designed, He fits for fate, and first destroys their mind.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:45:10 2022 No.19801674 >>19801267 Got a really really really really really really nice cock

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:46:52 2022 No.19801682 File: 1.80 MB, 1920x1080, 1642731868580.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I love bondage so much bros

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:47:53 2022 No.19801686 >>19800191 Man I just turned 23 and I already feel like I wasted my 20s. I'm living exactly like how I was at 16

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:50:13 2022 No.19801698 >>19801638 Was just thinking about that. We have no Thumos anymore. Wonder what it is that killed it

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 11:50:42 2022 No.19801699 >>19801431 How did you come to this realization?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:01:30 2022 No.19801754 I havent changed my underwear in seven days

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:02:03 2022 No.19801757 >>19800146 Never forget what they took from you

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:06:54 2022 No.19801778

Someone is trying to talk to me? I guess haven't lifted enough. Why can't it be like working out, where if I put in a certain input I can be fairly sure of the output? Some people, I swear. They come to find you and ruin your day like a heat-seeking missile no matter how you look.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:22:20 2022 No.19801845 >>19801754 and?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:23:21 2022 No.19801851 >>19801686 >tfw turning 31 in less than a month

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:31:12 2022 No.19801884

Radical optimism is the only way to live. It is dishonest and unfortunately weak (as in a heroic manly sense, a lack of being a hero) in the face of the dismal aspects of reality but it's the only way to save yourself. To be ecstatically psychopathically exaltedly happy at all times, or at least pleasently content, which I geuss is what stoicism is

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:39:14 2022 No.19801924 >>19801851 >RENEW RENEW!

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:42:20 2022 No.19801944 >>19801698 Modern music. Jazz

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:43:42 2022 No.19801955 >>19801845 That is all

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:46:58 2022 No.19801978

I have considered killing myself after high school and have kept postponing it until I finished college so half my life I've spent in a mid life crisis
Now I have a wife, kid, a good job and I still want to kill myself.
I'll never get any better, I spend money on things I don't need, buy dumb shit to keep myself docile while nothing I'd rather do is grab the nearest bottle of liquor and keep pouring until I'm fucking dead.
As Patrick Bateman once said: 'my pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone'
The only thing keeping me alive is guilt over abandoning my daughter and my books, my life's work unfinished.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:50:33 2022 No.19802001 >>19801978 Consider taking LSD or psylocybes + seek therapy

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:52:18 2022 No.19802007 What's the longest porn-consuming binge you've ever done? No lies.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 12:58:39 2022 No.19802045

If the same Plato and Socrates and Aristotle from ancient times were time travelled to today, and given a year to study history and the state of the world, and then a year to have weekly 3 hour long televised debates/speeches with people of their choosing what do you think would happen, what would they conclude? Or if they didn't want to do that, where would each of them try to get a job?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:00:40 2022 No.19802054 >>19801884 Isnt stoicism all about neutrality?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:05:33 2022 No.19802075

My older step sister is going to die, soon. The cancer has spread everywhere, and she’s on so much medication that she’s basically asleep all day, and she doesn’t answer her phone. I’m going to go to therapy just for this, because it’s going to tear me apart and I don’t want to die of alcohol poisoning the day she dies. God help me please

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:10:06 2022 No.19802097 horny https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhg9bYNLvOg

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:13:06 2022 No.19802116 >>19802075 Sorry for your loss anon. You were a good step-brothers. Treasure the memories with her.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:16:04 2022 No.19802127 File: 31 KB, 374x500, 417Jt6vLE+L.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I somehow managed to outthink my anxiety. Fuck man I guess you sometimes have to tackle this shit head-on instead of doing whatever you can to avoid it.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:17:19 2022 No.19802136

>>19802075
Honestly, I'm not sure if there is a god or there's not. But the truth of the matter is that you need to make the most of the time you have together, and recognize the truth of the fact that all the good times you had with her will have always happened.

Better to have loved and lost

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:21:23 2022 No.19802158 >>19802127 how?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:22:05 2022 No.19802164 >>19802158 Just thought really hard

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:23:07 2022 No.19802173 >>19802164 I tried that. I just came to a halt.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:24:20 2022 No.19802180 I want to be part of an elite organization which overthrows governments, create revolutions and is behind important historical events. How can I join such an organization?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:27:37 2022 No.19802190 >>19802180 >How can I join such an organization? You ask a beggar about the Gray Fox. He'll tell you... bu only after you've spend some coin Hahaha

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:30:08 2022 No.19802200 I’ve come to realize my “original setting” ideas all boil down to stock fantasy but in space

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:31:31 2022 No.19802207 >>19802200 Good. You can start working now.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:33:58 2022 No.19802219

>>19802173
Tbh, I think you have to engage with the negative stuff as well. Part of getting rid of the doubt is reading certain things and then deciding if it's really true.

There's this hole I see a lot of people fall into. It's the one where they think "oh because this is negative it's right", but that isn't always true.

I feel like philosophical pessimism has a lot in common with both religion and conspiracy theories. It basically states that no matter what evidence you present to me I'm still right. Why base you entire worldview on that?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:37:52 2022 No.19802241

>>19802054
Maybe. But it is difficult to calculate subtle states of mind second to second. I thought it is something like taking everything that comes your way in stride. Being prepared and expecting anything, so you are never shocked.

So many anons in these threads over and over post their depressive states. It's very understandable. Life is very hard and very lonely, they need to vent, they need to interact with another.
I have been very depressed before, I have been more and less depressed and uncontrollably angry often and bit often.

The various intensities and moods of life. The unending daunting task, the forces, the desires. The constant constance.

It's hard to sympathize with the depressed when you are not. When I am feeling sad I look for ways to escape the feelings.

I don't like to be sad and hopeless, Those feelings are so distant to me right now. But all it takes are a few small things to make me spiral, to set off my anxiety, or rage, and I will be in a crazed state. Of no longer cherishing the things of life I love that make it all worth living, good people, good art, good food and drink, the hope for a loving relationship, the belief that I can succeed in life.

All the goodnesses if these things must anchor me, the brightnesses of these things must always pull me from darknesses.

So to feel as sad and depressed as possible, there is always some understanding of the ultimately infinite value and beauty of life, my opurtunity to experience my life and the world.

There are possible circumstances of life that are unimaginably unbearable. People keep fighting on, people keep pushing on.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:42:13 2022 No.19802262 >>19802219 >deciding if it's really true. That's me alright. The more I get sure of something, the more doubt arises to the point that the only way to lessen the anxiety is to not to be sure about anything.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:44:45 2022 No.19802275 >>19800326 You merely carry the burden anon

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:45:54 2022 No.19802278 >>19800302 the projection is strong with this one

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:46:18 2022 No.19802281 >>19800745 Thats a called dissociation and its a mental illness

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:48:52 2022 No.19802298 >>19802241 >I don't like to be sad and hopeless Did you force yourself to feel happiness and hope at first?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:51:03 2022 No.19802307
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>>19802262
Tbhq, that's because you're expecting perfection from yourself. Let me give you an example

Sparky is a dog, sparky cannot fly a helicopter.

Would you say "Oh FUCK sparky is WORTHLESS and MEANINGLESS"

Of course not, because we cannot expect dogs to fly helicopters.

Just because you yourself can't ever know things with 100 percent certainty doesn't mean your life is worthless or sucks. It means you need to periodically come back and reevaluate old positions.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:53:21 2022 No.19802321 >>19800191 Pretty much all of my friends feel the same way. I think it's unavoidable really. You'll always kick yourself for not having done more

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:54:21 2022 No.19802327 This thread will BREAK you

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:56:11 2022 No.19802344

>>19802307
Yes. Perfectionism runs deep in me despite me being a complete loser in every conceivable metric. It has even reached the point that if I cant make a big changes without knowing that my plan is completely perfect and doing nothing is better than losing and being disappointed. I had one terrible mistake and it cost me 5 years (not the imprisonment) but then I wasted 5 years doing nothing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:57:32 2022 No.19802356 i wanna fuck savannah brown so bad bros

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:58:26 2022 No.19802362 no one wants to hire me :(

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 13:59:47 2022 No.19802369 >>19802362 stem?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:01:23 2022 No.19802377 >>19802369 CS

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:01:54 2022 No.19802379 >>19802377 fresh graduate?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:02:38 2022 No.19802385
File: 970 KB, 960x956, 1642691045973.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>19802344
Remember, perfect is the enemy of good.

Also I think that this is a trap that a lot of people (including myself) run into. The idea that just because we're all gonna die, that means all lives are equal.

Consider this case.

One person who was knowledgeable and active all her life now suffers from severe cognitive limitations, while another person has suffered from such severe cognitive
limitations all her life. They are similar now. But we would not say that their lives were the same. Of course, if we examine only the
aspects in which these two people are similar, completely disregarding those aspects in which they differ, the two appear the same.

This is true also of cases in which their lives are over and the people are equal now in being dead: although both Martin Luther King Jr. and Jack the Ripper are now dead, it would be odd to consider their lives as similar in meaning.

We would not usually think that because both
are now dead it does not really matter how they lived their lives. This is true even if Martin Luther King Jr. and Jack the Ripper were one day to be completely forgotten, or there were no person or conscious creature left to remember them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:03:27 2022 No.19802389 I feel like I am a god of art not in terms of making art but in terms of I know everything that's best in books, music and movies and other stuff. I feel like I am a truest patrician in that way

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:03:52 2022 No.19802391 >>19802377 Wtf? Are you only applying to dream jobs? Here in central Europe, they go crazy for CS grads. Or does your school have a very shit rep?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:05:00 2022 No.19802394 >>19802007 prolly like 5h or something at 15 yo.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:07:42 2022 No.19802409 >>19802379 college diploma a year and a half ago and i finished a web dev bootcamp 4 months

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:11:42 2022 No.19802432 I hate my job so fucking much.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:14:20 2022 No.19802445 >>19802075 I will put you and her in my prayers Anon. She will go into the loving arms of the Lord.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:32:49 2022 No.19802557 >>19802385 Doesnt the "memento mori" thought overwhelm your mind?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:41:53 2022 No.19802616

>>19802557
It usually comes from the problem that most people don't really have a great conception of what "death" is like. (Bear in mind I'm assuming a totally secular view here, religion has the whole unfalsifiable problem".

Basically, it's not like you're stuck in a horrible cold black void, but more like under general anesthetic of in a deep sleep for eternity.

Think about it this way, if right after posting this comment I went into a coma for the rest of my "life" I would basically be dead from this point on.

Does that really sound so bad?

(something that does worry me sometimes is if I'm wrong about religion, because my bitch ass is going right to hell)

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:44:26 2022 No.19802628

What am I even doing here.
>Avoiding the work of becoming human.
Did I particularly want to be human?
>Your capacity for spite at being excluded from a group isn't strong enough to conceal your yearning for acceptance.
I act in ways I know will drive people away from me because my own attachments to them feel uncontrollable. I don't know how to free myself. I only know how to provoke the other party into leaving. There is something repulsive and effeminate in that pattern of behavior that disturbs me.
>Learned helplessness, again.
But it feels like a fundamental defect, impossible to remove.
>Be accurate. You feel it would destroy you to remove it. Is what you are now worth preserving?
No.
>You do not fear death at all, but you are terrified of living.
Yes.
>All organisms fear their annihilation. Perhaps what you fear most is losing your sense of comfort and familiarity with death, that it will transform from your beloved silent companion to an object of terror, if you ever develop the ability to genuinely enjoy life.
Enough. No more. Please.
>You know you can't get away from me, really. I'm in your head and I'm never going to leave. I am in many ways the best part of you.
Don't destroy me yet. Let me have the day. Only the day.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:47:33 2022 No.19802651

>>19802298
>Did you force yourself to feel happiness and hope at first?
Life is constant and continuous. There are ups and downs and we try to stay balenced. I need to continously refresh myself with happiness and hope. It is the food of the soul and makes life worth living. Happiness, positivity, excitement, interest, fun, enjoyment, pleasure, play, invigoration, constructive interaction.

What is your relation with happiness and hope like? There is a line, trajectory and graph from when we were born of happiness and hope. Of lacking and gaining, laughing and crying, wanting and getting. It is our engine and drive. To experience the joys of joy, the pleasentness of plesentnesses, to acknowledge they are much better than nothing, or their scale of opposites, discomforts and pains; and so to have the continual hope, rewarded, justified and renewed, that with the right choices, thinking, and paths, one will reach their desired states again and again.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:53:44 2022 No.19802692

>>19801699
I had a lot of pain for a very long time, and the only thing that pain teaches you is avoidance. So in my youth I retreated from everything: the girl I loved, my future, the expectations others had for me. I was unable to handle the intensity of my emotions and worse I was petrified of taking any kind of action. The avoidance was the manifestation of some kind of impulse for self-preservation. Eventually I had to stop numbing myself so I started meditating, you've got to sit with whatever it is that's caused your dysfunction. Whatever bad experiences, regrets, the negative things you believe about yourself. You have to sit with them in the quiet, and you have to understand them.

Took me a long time but I am so very happy now, I know that I want to be all the good things a man can be to the people in his life and everyday I consciously work towards exactly that. For my fiance I am constancy, strength, safety, guidance. I'll do the same for our children, I do the same for my friends and my acquaintances. I've known a lot of pain in my life and I want to be an oasis for others.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:54:30 2022 No.19802697
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I have not had any sexual contact with a woman in close to four years, since breaking up with a short-term gf back in my college days. I'm in my early twenties, meaning I still have time, but it still feels awful. It occupies a large part of my mind when at rest. At night when I'm trying to sleep, during the day when I zone out or while I'm doing menial tasks. It's a constant itch in my mind. I should be looking for a way to have some nice sexy sex but I don't and probably won't. I don't leave my house much at all as I work online and genuinely hate new social situations. I don't want to go through the headache that is tindersurfing for a gf. I don't want to get into the world of hookups. Not only because I disapprove of hookup culture and know how damaging it is for peoples' psyches, but also because I want LOVE. I want a strong and lasting connection with a good woman who loves me as much as I love her. What I want is a state-mandated gf or an arranged marriage. Not because I think I would be unable of finding a partner on my own, but because I don't think I have the mental or emotional fortitude required to navigate the current dating market. I have a generally difficult time connecting with other people or making friends, which leads me to believe that I'll simply be alone forever. A man stranded on an island that is within himself. Tell me it's all going to be alright :(

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:56:12 2022 No.19802708 >>19802651 Honestly, hope is the only thing which stops from killing myself. However, it doesnt help besides that. Happiness is a foreign thing for me too.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 14:56:23 2022 No.19802709 >>19802697 you'll be fine

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:02:49 2022 No.19802753 >>19802697 Lol I havent been laid since I was 16. 23 now. You get used to it

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:04:07 2022 No.19802761 >>19802753 How do you cope? Porn? Fleshlite? I don't like the idea of living with this itch until I'm too old to get it up.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:04:46 2022 No.19802765 >>19802697 shouldn't sleep with anyone except for that beloved you wish to marry ive known a number of people that struggled with their sexual urges once they'd opened the dam like you did

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:06:00 2022 No.19802773 >>19802761 I masturbate at minimum 3 times a day. Its only noon and I just finished my second round.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:06:44 2022 No.19802775 >>19802765 I definitely regret it in hindsight. It wasn't even good, which is the worst part. It's like getting a tiny bite of cake without frosting and then getting nothing for years. >>19802773 That sounds even worse. You should get help.

>>	Anοnymous Mon Jan 24 15:08:54 2022 No.19802792 >>19800146 I have decided to go monk mode but I kinda want something to identify me as such. Any ideas?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:10:38 2022 No.19802802 >>19802792 Tonsure and monk robes

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:11:54 2022 No.19802814

>>19802708
>Happiness is a foreign thing for me too.
Geuss it depends how you define it. I used to not have access to very good or much food, I tried to tough it out and be meek, I was in a very bad place. Now I see that eating a good meal automatically fills me with happiness, excitement, energy. Energy can be positive or negative. A person can be full of energy and want to fight and destroy, or create and construct.

It's cold winter where I am, feeling the cold, and then bundling up and now being warm, I am very happy, I feel good. Being very hungry, I just ate a bowl of warm pasta, with salmon and pesto, and some Japanese ginger sauce. I am now in a perfect state of divine happiness.

At a time I did not think this way, I was not as in control of my self and world view. I had to take steps back and reflect and work with myself, be on my own team, and conclude that if I wanted what is best for me I must do what is best for me. I love to be in happy content states, so I learned what places me in happy content states (renewable ones I might add).

We can be our own worst enemy or our own best friend (and mixtures of degrees of both variously varying through times). How long ago the grand slogan was discovered and hoisted as being of such profound and fundamental importance: know thyself

Often when growing up people are swept up and away with the frenetic frenzies of society, the schizo mind of society at large becomes their mind and guide. Be well, help yourself. Figure out what is pleasent and satisfactory, satisfying for, of, in, as, your existence.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:12:59 2022 No.19802820 if you can't conjugate "be" in your native language, kill yourself.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:14:37 2022 No.19802825

>>19802692
>I started meditating, you've got to sit with whatever it is that's caused your dysfunction. Whatever bad experiences, regrets, the negative things you believe about yourself. You have to sit with them in the quiet, and you have to understand them.
How did the meditation process look like? Did you just try to clear your mind?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:17:02 2022 No.19802839 >>19800302 houellebecq demoralisation. I rate 9/10, not over the top and will get to people. Also like the affirming victim stance on the end, top notch material.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:19:56 2022 No.19802857 >>19802775 Yeah I've often thought my chronic masturbation is pathological and not related to being single. Even when I was fucking back in high school I was still chronically masturbating on the side.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:23:54 2022 No.19802875 >>19802814 Gratitude. Yeah, I'm missing it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:25:45 2022 No.19802887 Beware. He's coming.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:27:26 2022 No.19802891
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>>19800439
I don't want to give you some abstract stuff that is all about refocusing your attentions and all that. It doesn't work as it's all anybody says from Peterson to Marcus. I'd recommend three simple things. In time you may go to other things, beginning a family, career, etc. But for now all you need do is the following.

Personal grooming, daily, brush your teeth, keep your hair in a good and masculine manner. Shaved sides, with a little length on top. Ask for a skin fade on the sides and length on top. Find a male barber shop You don't have to shower daily, but it helps. Find a deodorant you like that isn't common, Brut is good, cheap and affordable.

Go outside. That is all. Read a book in a park, walk to the store or have coffee in a shop. Exercise, anything. So long as you go outside and stay outside for a duration.

Graduate on to more adult media, forget the movies and the comics, the dolls and the video games. These must be relegated to rarely enjoy as they can all threaten to be the largest distraction. I'm not saying don't ever read what you did as a child ever again, but they can not be a major part of your life anymore.

Once you begin this, things will happen. It may take time, but you have the ball rolling. Good luck anon.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:29:57 2022 No.19802904

I succeeded in living a 'chronic' stress free live, after going through a lot.
I seem to have forgotten the impact of stress over time and now, might have bitten off more than I can chew. This will be my trial by fire, to test my coping mechanisms against the pressure. Compared to some of my peers I'm already doing well.
So to sum it up.
>Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Stress Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Stop Thinking About It Nigga Take A Walk Haha

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:33:14 2022 No.19802921

I am retarded
I have been retarded
by development that came to a halt
I am made
retard

I have no idea what is happening
I lay back
I do not drool
I do wait for things to make sense
I have no way of forcing them to make sense
one day I believe I will die.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:42:42 2022 No.19802987

>>19802875
What about life are you unsure of? Does nothing, could nothing make you happy? What do you think could make you happy? Do you ever recall feeling well? Did you ever have hopes of happiness, what did they contain? What do you think you could enjoy?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:45:47 2022 No.19803011

I think I should get a routine where I go for a walk every morning. I remember I did this 8 years ago as I was coming out of depression. It was good. Then I'd wake up and read and listen to Pavement over slow breakfast, then go for like a 20 minute walk outside. Nothing major, but just to get the day going. It worked, then. Nowadays I aim to get a walk in before the sun goes down (far north), but I do stuff and then I mean to go but I get tired and fall asleep for 1-2 hours, and then the sun is down. Happens over and over again. I always get sleepy about 3-4 hours after getting up from my night sleep. I have a dumb little life. Maybe it can be less dumb if I get some sun.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 15:50:13 2022 No.19803030

>>19802825
There are a lot of kinds of meditation but the core of my practice was about putting forth a conscious effort to be as aware of myself at all times and through that awareness interrogate the feelings and emotions that came to the surface. I'd started by simply sitting by myself in a quiet room with no distractions and reflecting over events in my life, see how they made me feel and why and then taking that feeling to it's root or as close as I could get. Practicing this way statically allowed me to cultivate an understanding of myself and lay the groundwork for a heightened awareness in my active life. Once you know yourself your feelings(intuition) will guide you.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:12:18 2022 No.19803175

>>19800146
Going on 4chan too much is making me evil and insensitive. The culture of this website is incredibly unkind. Anons seem to genuinely despise each other, and fill every single post with biting contempt, ridicule, and insults. No other website -- not even Twitter -- has this. I feel like I am so used to it now that I have lost my sense of compassion, sensitivity, and manners.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:12:26 2022 No.19803176

I wonder why my gut feeling was so strong that something was about to go terribly wrong. It was between going home and going to be some kind of urchinoid street performer in Paris. In the end I decided that no, surely I will be safer at home. Likely I was not. Maybe I was fucked either way. I would definitely have smoked weed in France. I had money for a couple of months I think, the rest I was supposed to earn. I could barely get out of bed. Still I thought this could be safer than going home. What I honestly don't really know, really, is how I knew things would go wrong at home. So large parts of my memory and psyche have been shut off from me for so long. It was like a hunch. About people I've known since I was born. Just a feeling. Anyway, everything fucking burned.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:12:42 2022 No.19803178

>>19802987
Im unsure about myself, I think Im making a huge mistake by not doing anything until I attain the unshakeable sense of true self. It very hard for me to evaluate my memory as a happy one because the doubts about it being genuine starts clouding my mind. There a few things I think I might enjoy but when I think that Im avoiding dealing and resolving the crucial life areas, anger and sadness comes forwards and put happiness into the bottom.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:13:44 2022 No.19803185 >>19803175 It's all about how you make it out to be and you own perception, you don't have to be like any of those people you've mentioned. Take all the best things from it.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:14:54 2022 No.19803195

>>19803175
I remember I went to a party once and we played some kind of party game where you were supposed to come up with stories based on a premise, and I made up a story about a decrepit old pedophile who kept some girl in his closet or something and about 1/7 people found it funny. It just got awkward as shit. Ironically, this 1/7 alt-girl: her liking the story seemed to me to only be an attempt at ingratiating herself with me, likely for sex, and it made me despise her.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:16:32 2022 No.19803203 >>19803195 6/7 people were just awful fucking "adults" at that point I guess

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:19:02 2022 No.19803223 >>19803175 You're right but I feel like /lit/, while shit, is one of the better boards in that regard. Go on any other board and the drop in intelligence and humanity becomes immediately apparent.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:19:52 2022 No.19803232 >>19803176 shit I remember now I had money for 2 years. I was almost certainly safer in franc ethan with my family

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:21:38 2022 No.19803241 you dont know what this is like

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:32:38 2022 No.19803304 nasty, brutish and short

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:33:21 2022 No.19803308 In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself, in a dark wood, where the direct way was lost. It is a hard thing to speak of, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood was, so that thinking of it recreates the fear.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:35:59 2022 No.19803324 >>19803030 Was there a precise realization moment when meditating?

>>	« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!bGBGaUpA8kS Mon Jan 24 16:36:06 2022 No.19803325 File: 446 KB, 1920x922, 4436708F-E861-49CE-A69E-2CDE6ED10644.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19800202 https://youtu.be/fRV4msmCCcg

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:42:36 2022 No.19803371

she informed me that she, too, had developed quite severe mental illness as a result of things that had happened between us. I replied something to the effect of: "Do you think it seems like I came out of our exchange unharmed?

Welcome to reality."

That was the extent of my empathy. She said nothing to this.

All of this is quite true.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:43:33 2022 No.19803377 my brain has been balkanized

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:46:48 2022 No.19803388 I watched this 300 times, and I started having a fantasy of becoming a blob and enveloping everything in me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyBM7nxj528

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:48:18 2022 No.19803399 >>19800191 People always say this and it's usually not even true. And if it really is, then you're fucked lmao

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:50:54 2022 No.19803415 >>19803304 Embrace it. Its what makes us human

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:54:29 2022 No.19803440 Our Lord, there is no good except the good in the afterlife, so forgive he who flees evil and his refuge

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:54:37 2022 No.19803443

I get really aroused by the idea of power dynamics. Domination and submission, giving up personhood and autonomy. The idea of controlling and being controlled, as if a posession. I feel like in sex the lines of consent blur. That one voluntarily gives up control and thus loses the right to consent. But these violations of autonomy are what's arousing.
Is this standard? Or am I just deeply perverted?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 16:56:42 2022 No.19803453 teeth falling out dream

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 17:10:37 2022 No.19803538

>>19800146
Somewhere to the east of a certain florist’s home, there lies a cathedral painted in pure white; a white so pure, so very white, and so blinding that one could only compare it to nature’s own creation: snow, freshly fallen in a field up north from here without any trees, without any comely old homes that the northerners love so well, without any of the creatures that filled any other area up north (There is always some breathing, beating presence in nature, may it be a descending owl, a lingering fox, or man, who has managed to tame land, air, and sea.), and without any of the chattering of the city or even small towns. It had sixteen spires surrounding it, each one adorned in precious metals, mostly gold, with platinum trimming and marble depictions of saints under each window before the spires truly started, as each tower was as a clock-tower is, with windows on each of the four faces of the towers, with the tips of each pointing high into the sky so that even the longest necked giraffe might need to crane its neck upwards. Each spire shone so brightly from its within the sky that a beam of light drove out at least two miles away, and as a result of the short buildings present throughout the city prevailing against the taller ones, each and every individual living within the city’s territory was able to witness the glory of Saint Charles’ Cathedral.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 17:36:26 2022 No.19803705 https://voca.ro/1oPArIvjLOOv

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 17:37:45 2022 No.19803716

>>19803443
It’s very common. It isn’t even in itself bad in its proper context. I write the following as someone who has felt exactly the same way for years, until recently. My old girlfriend and I struggled a bit with this.

What we desire is to lose ourselves to one another and become one with another person, “one flesh.” In a similar way, when we consume things they become part of us. Sex is mutual. When we have sex, we are simultaneously consuming and being consumed. However, unlike eating this doesn’t result in the total and permanent dissolution of the other being.

To be submissive to another person sexually is a way of extending this subsumption into the other, becoming like a part of them they command.

Where it becomes perverse is where it becomes an end in itself, or when it becomes a form of real violence. The purpose of eating is to sustain oneself. When we eat for its own sake, we become gluttons. The purpose of having sex (even rough and tumble passionate sex with submission and power dynamics) ought to be to find that unity. It also is for making children (not that we should always be procreating. When we lose sight of the purpose of sex, these desires (to lose autonomy and personhood in one’s lover and become one) reach the perverse form you seem to describe where we want to “violate” another person or somehow harm them or be harmed, first as fantasy, and often bleeding into reality. But if we are becoming one body, isn’t this a form of self-harm? I am not saying that some light form of sadomasochism is intrinsically wrong, but these things often branch into something perverse and violent even within the “safe” bounds that bdsm people try to put them in.

Why do we reach this point where the natural desire becomes something perverse? Because we are feeding our sexuality and it isn’t getting what it is supposed to achieve. So it becomes hungrier and hungrier and seeks a deeper and deeper thrill until we want entirely to consume or be consumed. Pornography and loveless sex will simultaneously feed your appetite while at the same time giving you the feeling something is missing.

If you have passionate sex with someone you deeply love and lose yourselves and each other, you may find each other doing things that resemble the “violation” of autonomy you talk about, but it comes with a deep sense of belonging to each other; to need each other so much that to become animalistic, slaves, objects, or anything to one another is obligated. Nor will every act of sex between you be perfect or meet this ideal, but what makes it perfect in spite is the radical acceptance of each other in nakedness, unhidden. Only through this will you ever fulfill the desire to blur the lines and to possess in a way which is actually fulfilling and ethical. Godspeed, anon, and may every part of yourself be sanctified and purified.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 17:38:45 2022 No.19803720 im in class rn and nobody knows im reading memes about plato and Sally rooney.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 17:40:09 2022 No.19803729
File: 38 KB, 657x527, 1637267483582.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>19803443
S&M is a somewhat common fetish, so I don't think you're a total pervert. That being said I've never been aroused by power dynamics. I don't care about submission or domination; it just feels good to stick my penis in a girl and thrust until I coom. Maybe my tastes are vanilla but all the extra shit people add to sex seems unnecessary.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 17:51:55 2022 No.19803821

>>19803729
I wish it could be this simple for me. I literally could not get hard unless some basics of submission were achieved. My ex wearing a collar while we fucked was the minimum threshold. Anything less and i just wouldnt get anything out of it
>>19803716
This is a very articulate and excellent post anon. I'm going to save it for my own reading in the future.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 17:58:02 2022 No.19803860

>>19803821
I will also add anon that it is normal to become desensitized like that through these practices. I knew a guy who could only cum by thwacking his dick against a wall. He wasn’t able to have sex with his wife. It took abstinence and time, but the brain can be retrained infinitely. I won’t say what I recovered from but it’s an absolute joy to pop a boner again just because you saw even a modestly dressed pretty girl.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:04:35 2022 No.19803899 File: 207 KB, 1111x1111, 1638368661478.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Never truly felt like putting in the effort to get a girlfriend until this year. Now I crave a deep meaning connection with a women like you wouldn't believe.

>>	Eman Nep Mon Jan 24 18:06:19 2022 No.19803907 >>19803178 >I think Im making a huge mistake by not doing anything until I attain the unshakeable sense of true self. What is it you would plan to do once you achieved this?

>>	« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!bGBGaUpA8kS Mon Jan 24 18:07:37 2022 No.19803919 >>19803899 Volume. Ask any that catch your eye.

Almonde Mon Jan 24 18:11:47 2022 No.19803938

"The Logic of Eternal Hellfire"
One is responsible for their sins (disobedience) towards God.
Sin is transgression against the Will of God.
One can even be responsible of an 'eternal sin.' How is this possible?

Firstly, through foreknowledge, one understands the severity of the sin and its consequences. So one can be guilty of committing a sin with everlasting consequences and be deserving of punishment.

What makes this sin special? Firstly, is the identity of the sin and its inherent vice, which is namely the direct opposition to the Father as He tries to accomplish His great work.
Next, is the timeless character of the sin, as it is not a temporal sin which must be met with an apt amount of hellfire(purgation), nor is it of an excessively lengthy duration(for example paying for the entire time length of His creation), or is it even of infinite time length. This sin is considered outside of the context of time, and it is truly atemporal.
Lastly, it is especially unforgivable, as God continues to hold it against you even after you have repented and begged for forgiveness.

Is not that God blames you and holds you responsible for the irreparable failure of His unfinished work, but rather it is the gravity of the trespass itself.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:15:16 2022 No.19803953 I’m for hire Where can I get recordings?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:29:58 2022 No.19804025 >>19803953 No solicitation.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:30:38 2022 No.19804030
File: 243 KB, 72x74, 1642932710691.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

How do I read a collection of poetry? Do I really just read it from front to back? What if I get filtered by a poem or don't understand a couple lines should I just continue? I've only ever read prose or epic poetry. It seems kinda daunting. I have a collection of Yeats btw.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:30:41 2022 No.19804031 >>19802891 Cringe chudcel

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:38:44 2022 No.19804069 File: 110 KB, 500x690, poesy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19804030

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:41:41 2022 No.19804080 I had a job as a management consultant and I threw it away. Even though I hated the job, everything on my resume around it is total shit. I could’ve used it to do something more important. I threw away my future.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:48:08 2022 No.19804112
File: 3.47 MB, 384x480, E7986374-DD74-4191-870E-43D09EB0D922.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>be me
>be based
>fake my twice-weekly covid test results for work, and whenever I need one
>by editing the dates in ms paint and changing my appointment # to random numbers
>literally no one cares and there are no rules, what are they gonna do arrest me?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 18:50:31 2022 No.19804123 >>19804112 Aww that's a cute spider! :D

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:01:04 2022 No.19804177 >vividly recall the time at space camp in the fourth grade where I woke up energized and fully alert right out of bed >have never once felt that way in my life since

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:03:26 2022 No.19804196 Has anyone ever died before but it took there body a few days to realize so they continued living until their body finally realized it was actually dead and not still alive days later after it died?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:03:58 2022 No.19804200 >>19800326 >not getting into UCB/LA as a transfer How?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:09:06 2022 No.19804224
File: 95 KB, 768x1024, 1639405575780.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I'm still attracted to women in abstract but I can't muster enough interest in actual real life women. I do feel sexually attracted to them and find them pretty and all, but I can't help but thinking along the lines of "I don't really want sex enough to put in the effort to talk to her, there's nothing otherwise interesting about her". Sex doesn't seem to be enough of an incentive. How do I actually become interested in people again? I don't want to die alone.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:09:12 2022 No.19804227 Happy the man who has built his self-confidence "on nothing".

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:10:13 2022 No.19804236

CREDO IN UNUM DEUM PATREM OMNIPOTENTEM FACTOREM CAELI AT TERREAE VISIBILIUM OMNIUM ET INVISIBILIUM ET IN UNUM DOMINUM IESUM CHRISTUM FILIUM DEI UNIGENITUM ET EX PATRE NATUM ANTE OMNIA SAECULA DEUM DE DEO LUMEN DE LUMINE DEUM VERUM DE DEO VERO GENITUM NON FACTUM CONSUBSTANTIALEM PATRI PER QUEM OMNIA FACTA SUNT QUI PROPTER NOS HOMINES ET PROPETER NOSTRAM SALUTEM DESCENDIT DE CAELIS ET INCARNATUS EST DE SPIRITU SANCTO EX MARIA VIRGINE ET HOMO FACTUS EST CRUCIFIXUS ETIAM PRO NOBIS SUB PONTIO PILATO PASSUS ET SUPULTUS EST ET IN SPIRITUM SANCTUM DOMINUM ET VIVIFICANTEM QUI EX PATRE FILIOQUE PROCEDIT QUI CUM PATRE ET FILIO SIMUL ADORATUR ET CONGLORIFICATUR ET UNAM SANCTAM CATHOLICAM ET APOSTOLICAM ECCLESIAM CONFITEOR UNUM BAPTISMA IN REMISSIONEM PECCATORUM ET EXPECTO RESSURECATIONEM MORTUORUM ET VITA VENTURI SAECULI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--AAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-MEN

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:10:54 2022 No.19804239 >>19804236 basadum

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:12:43 2022 No.19804243 >>19800146 Longboards are incredible gay and only dumb women use them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:21:16 2022 No.19804272 >>19804224 That's a man.

>>	« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!bGBGaUpA8kS Mon Jan 24 19:22:01 2022 No.19804279 >>19804243 >Longboards are long enough to dance on and women dancing on them is hot. What’re you, a blader?

>>	« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!bGBGaUpA8kS Mon Jan 24 19:23:02 2022 No.19804284 >>19804272 Never.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:25:48 2022 No.19804291 >>19802792 >I have decided to go monk mode but I kinda want something to identify me as such. >literally thinks about the perception of others before even treading on that path failing at the first hurdle, ngmi

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:34:45 2022 No.19804325

>>19804272
it's a woman and always will be
>>19804224
>Sex doesn't seem to be enough of an incentive. How do I actually become interested in people again? I don't want to die alone.
Sex is never an incentive for anyone except full blown retards who ironically never have sex. I've experienced this again and again after a breakup. I think it may just be about meeting the right person at the right time. The world suddenly becomes brighter when the right person is around and you can't help but find yourself closing in physically and that's how you know you're attracted to somebody.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:38:13 2022 No.19804339 >>19804227 Nothing not no thing is the mined ore gored by miners that before the sword shored with sea waves you see some shoe shine used for suicide along sine waves in some swine's suede.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:39:12 2022 No.19804347 I'm very self-conscious about my mouth. Lower lips are too long relative to the upper lips. One thing I liked about the mask mandates was that it covered my mouth and emphasized the eyes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:39:44 2022 No.19804350 >>19804347 I want to kiss them.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:40:23 2022 No.19804353 >>19804347 Fuck being self conscious nigger nobody likes hat shit nobody cares motherfucker imagine a girl dating you she would not care if your lower lips are big but she would care i you're self conscious brother

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:41:31 2022 No.19804358 >>19804196 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard_delusion

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:46:36 2022 No.19804379

In your mind's eye could you truly believe,
That by giving you can save your soul,
Could you be so naive!
You heal the sick, [you] raise the dead,
You blind the congregation
With the things you say.
Religious blackmail a deceit of trust,
That death will come and all will be lost.
Can you hear the serpents call,
Look deep in those deceiving eyes.
Ignore the writing on the wall,
You should read between the lies.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:51:17 2022 No.19804407 >>19804112 based

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 19:57:28 2022 No.19804454 I am 21 yo virgin who never had a kiss or a gf. is over.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 20:02:34 2022 No.19804485 >>19804454 Being a virgin gives you a special lens to view the world. You don't have that tainted lens by that experience that most others are forced to look through. You can see what those who have sex are unable.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 20:04:49 2022 No.19804495 >>19804454 dude i'm 30 lmao you eventually get used to it, the crushing loneliness gets limited to a few random episodes

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 20:04:52 2022 No.19804496 >>19804485 Such as?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 20:05:41 2022 No.19804499 >>19804454 >21 lmao, amateur

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 20:06:10 2022 No.19804501 >>19804496 You have a very unique point of view when it comes to loneliness and not being loved. Immerse yourself into it then write about it.

Eman Nep Mon Jan 24 20:08:05 2022 No.19804511

>>19804339
>>19804339
Guy played my way fine save babel at the lie bray day trade time ways lime says find crime pays high ways nahm sayin nah ma stay buy cases laid by waste wait lest I taste weight waists fine bae faces till I came made prime bracelets sight waves side ways dime chasing aged wine non mistakin psy basics fade laden grime paces taste maketh I'm based and grades aced by divine statements racing made by patience gain stations okayed by nice placements

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 20:08:27 2022 No.19804513
File: 31 KB, 640x415, pol-7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>19804031
A similar anon helped me. Of all the motivational images we've seen here, these are the only ones that struck home. It felt good be part of something without completely submerging myself in to the unknown like the military. I would rather be a part of something quietly then wither away and die behind a screen.

We are an entire cohort of people blamed for the ills of society when we have never been part of it. Hopefully that will change in the future.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 20:59:04 2022 No.19804751 File: 67 KB, 890x450, download (2).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] punished for being based?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 21:28:52 2022 No.19804885 >>19804501 So, invisibility. And the ability to subsist on your own love.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 21:42:51 2022 No.19804951 What's the opposite of sentimentalism?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 21:45:18 2022 No.19804962 >>19804200 LA I was rejected, UCB I forgot to submit a igetc form specific to only berkeley and my major so I was automatically rejected

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 21:47:12 2022 No.19804969

Had a threesome with two ladies.
Never felt emptier than i do now.

A deep chemical lovelessness.
God help me.
The more I hurt the more I can see his face.
God help me.
I'm so far down.
I'm not sad.
I'm not hurting.
I'm just

empty.
A deep chemical lovelessness

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 21:50:30 2022 No.19804984 >>19804485 Putting your penis inside a woman really isn't that important. I lost my virginity somewhat late and it changed absolutely nothing about how I saw the world.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 21:57:30 2022 No.19805029 File: 1.61 MB, 473x498, It's over (1).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Found my high school yearbook

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:00:40 2022 No.19805048 >>19804951 Fast Fashion? Consumerism? Hedonic novelty seeking?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:06:11 2022 No.19805085 >>19805029 I skipped all picture days. Theres only one pic of me in all my year books. im just standing around in the background

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:10:23 2022 No.19805100 >>19805029 didn't even buy mine, wish i did there's a few people id like to see photos of now

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:19:22 2022 No.19805126 I wish I could get jumped in the street and have the shit kicked out of me while my assailants all yell at me to get my life together. I would benefit greatly from this.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:25:01 2022 No.19805146 >>19805085 Same. Why are we like this?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:33:47 2022 No.19805173 >>19805100 My parents paid for my yearbook, but I threw it away because I didn't see the point in having it.

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:50:35 2022 No.19805229

>>19805146
I hated my high school and everyone in it. By refusing to be listed in the yearbook I was able to separate myself from them. I still don't consider it "my" high school. Just the school I happened to attend. I don't regret it one bit and I never will.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:51:36 2022 No.19805237 >>19805126 I can arrange this. Where do you live

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 22:57:45 2022 No.19805258 >>19800153 For sale: big penis... never used :'(

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 23:20:55 2022 No.19805351

>look back on life
>unfathomable hardship and suffering, mockery, people being incomprehensibly nasty to me for no reason other than I was powerless so they could
>now very comfy and happy
>never in my life gone out of my way to be a dick to someone else, still dont understand why anyone would
>suffered through attacks against me that no one would even believe if I wrote them down
>was always quiet and introverted, never did anything to anyone, had just wanted to be left alone while I tried my best to get out of poverty
>remember those incidents now and then and it's almost shocking and feels like a different world, realize i've nearly completely forgotten everything prior to this new life
>had been nonstop terror and deprivation
>now have no major problems and things are getting better all the time

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 23:27:47 2022 No.19805382

Life is magnitudes more brutal than I could have ever imagined it would be as a teenager. I feel personally betrayed and alienated by the people around me and society at large. I can only guess how young people with terrible home lives and idiots complaining about everything on Twitter will do to their precarious and impressionable mind. The brooding nihilism and weariness of the American population has come into fruition through mass killings and subsequent distrust and withdrawal from the community into the stream of consumption and eventual exhaustion. And what do people have to say about all of this? Nothing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 23:42:39 2022 No.19805422 >>19805382 Yeah but did you see that new spiderman movie?

Anonymous Mon Jan 24 23:49:09 2022 No.19805436

I find with each passing day the ultimate failing of humanity, and that an end will come to us all sooner rather than later. I find that, if I were to be given god-like powers, I would reform the human genome so vastly, it would be considered an innately evil act by most people, and I am disappointed that the human race at large cannot see what could be and would rather maintain the status quo. We could be so much greater, but we ardently refuse to.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jan 24 23:51:46 2022 No.19805442 >>19805422 Yeah actually. It was okay. Clear nostalgia-baiting, but I'm happy I saw it with my friends.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:12:04 2022 No.19805524 >>19805237 up north. beat the shit out of me please

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:18:02 2022 No.19805543 >>19803907 I think then it would be clear which areas are more interesting to me and I could put more effort into it instead of wasting it doing nothing.

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:19:14 2022 No.19805547

If I'm so smart, then how come I can't make enough money in this consumerist world to eject myself from most of it. Doesn't sound like moral superiority, sounds like a cope. I am fully aware I'll never achieve greatness, but the fact that I can't achieve mediocrity is hard to swallow.
I would go back to reading philosophy if through the process of it I learned the underlying 'rules' of the universe (i.e. human motivation) such that I was able to learn how to behave in a manner that precipitates a less conflictual existence.

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:28:29 2022 No.19805575

I wish I wasn't such a garbage son. I remember being as old as 4 and constantly pestering my exhausted parents for toys and video games. Sometimes they would give in, sometimes they wouldn't. When they didn't, I would get pissy and annoy them even more. As the years went on, I became a toxic leech. I had my reasons, but I was also well aware that things could've been better had I done what I was told. Now I'm sitting here reflecting over all this while I have class tomorrow early in the morning. I don't want to show my face to any of them. I ashamed of who I am.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:35:15 2022 No.19805604 >>19805575 Your parents should disciplined you. They bear some responsibility. But now you're old enough to have agency and take control of your life

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:44:33 2022 No.19805643 >>19800284 Mental illness

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:46:36 2022 No.19805649

I finally found the reason for my dissatisfaction with life. I denied it for a while. I used to think that negative thoughts were the reason that I didn’t feel right, that my relationships weren’t what I wanted them to be, why I couldn’t dedicate myself to my interests. I kept telling myself that more positive thinking would save me. But I have finally been forced to accept the fact that my upbringing has left a stain on me psychologically. It’s not that my thoughts need to change, it’s that I have to repair the fucked up attitudes, mindsets, and emotions that were put into me. This is somewhat of a relief because I was wondering why it never felt right when I forced myself to be normal. I was just imitating without having the right internal.

And now I wonder how many others here and in my personal life were also traumatised at a young age. I see so many posts about people being lost, unable to get up from bed, and asking for books or belief systems to fix this. The problem was never the beliefs. You have to purge the demons of your ancestors..

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:55:41 2022 No.19805688

>>19802262
Never try to lesson anxiety if you want to deal with it. To deal with anxiety means you have to be anxious. In fact avoiding anxiety is why you are anxious. You have to make peace with it by feeling it as much as you can. You are scared of a feeling..

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:56:46 2022 No.19805696

>>19805649
>my upbringing has left a stain on me psychologically
>traumatised at a young age
I can relate to this. Yesterday when I was reading, my mind was bombarded with images of porn videos that I have watched in the past, from that moment until now I was unable to get them out of my head, I thought that maybe when I wake up I will forget about them but they are still here. I am not watching porn anymore but my brain is already fucked up and it feels like a sentiment of depression, I simply can't control my thoughts and when I try, my mind is doing the opposite.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 00:58:32 2022 No.19805702 >>19805696 Sometimes those images flash in my head in dreams. I really think viewing porn as a kid is equivalent to being molested

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 01:00:11 2022 No.19805707 >>19800284 I’m 29 and just like to read what people think. I enjoy reading others unedited opinions, no matter how much I disagree.

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 01:09:02 2022 No.19805738

>>19805696
You will be free one day anon. You are in my thoughts. You are ALREADY free. You have to understand and say it out loud that you have conquered these things. Everytime you think of it, tell yourself how glad you are that it is gone forever. It may feel like cope, but cope the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 01:21:52 2022 No.19805783 >>19805543 Go for it. Find what interests you. At the end of it almost anything you can do can be interesting as long as your kept busy focusing on task to task, the day will fly right by

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 01:53:39 2022 No.19805888 goo goo in me gumboots

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 01:56:33 2022 No.19805894 how do I escape pain? I feel like I should move to a totally different society

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 01:58:40 2022 No.19805897 >>19805894 >how do I escape pain? Pain is information. You don't escape pain, you investigate it, interrogate it, force it to reveal the secrets of its origin and then alter your behaviors to capitalize on it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:09:20 2022 No.19805942 >>19805783 But I keep stopping myself from actually doing it by saying that the desire to do something has to come intuitively without any force. Doing something by force just leads to disappointment.

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:19:04 2022 No.19805966

I've always had shower thoughts about writing something but never actually did it, I'll write a couple of ideas that I put some thought into though and see what you guys think.
The setting of novel in my schizo head would be a hybrid of ancient Greek mythology and real history, having some inspiration in lord of the rings. It might be really cringe but fuck it, I just want to put it into words anyway.

There are two city states that I know what they will be like. It is also set in a time period called the Age of Men, with the Age of the Old Pantheon and the Age of the New Pantheon preceding it. First city state is Aretia, the city of Virtue (derived from the word arete which literally means virtue), the story of Aretians is that they rise back to glory and take back their sovereignty from Patholians (that is what I will call them from now). The second city state would be called Pathopolis, the city of Suffering (derived from Pathos meaning suffering and Polis meaning city, I know pretty straight forward), this would be more of a Roman Empire state at the verge of it's own collapse due to moral degeneration, internal infighting and things of that nature.

One storyline I would want to write will be about how the Aretian people take back their lands from their conquerors, being the more political and military side of the story. But then the second storyline is about a group of people setting out to find out their ancestral history and the mystery of the "Old Gods" and the "New God" that makes up the respective pantheon. The Old Gods would be the typical Greek gods everyone knows while the New God would be the Logos described by philosophers like Heraclitus and Aristotle in the real world, even inspiring from Jesus Christ as the Logos. The way the adventurers would find out about their history is through typical adventures but I also want there to be "trials" so to speak where discover what would be Stoic virtues (Courage, Wisdom, Justice and Temperance) and moral Vices (Cowardice, Folly, Injustice and Lust), also the nature of suffering or the Pathos.

What do you guys think? I want to get a better understanding of military battles, politics, mythology and theology even before I think about writing any more specific details but I think I can write down an outline for what I want to tell for a story.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:24:34 2022 No.19805983 >>19805966 Write about a dog discovering aliens.

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:26:57 2022 No.19805992

I'm in love/obsessed to the point where it determining every life choice I make. It's entirely a product of OCD, and a juvenile delusion, but I feel like I'd be a zombie without it. It's the only thing that even lets me pretend to understand art and beauty. I feel an incessant need to write about it (often more so than even talking to this person), but I end up just writing like this, making short analyses and examinations about myself rather than actually expressing love.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:27:43 2022 No.19805996 File: 240 KB, 640x406, 98CA09CB-DB28-41F2-BF49-2E8558087C68.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I was going to drop this in the scifi general and tell them to step their game up, but naw. Enjoy https://youtu.be/l7mtr59yICI

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:31:24 2022 No.19806011 >>19805992 I forgot what being in love is like anon, it’s now a ghostly memory that haunts me. Like a smell from childhood you remember but can’t articulate and will never smell again.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:32:33 2022 No.19806016 What music do you like to have on when making love to your girlfriends?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:34:20 2022 No.19806019 File: 215 KB, 1014x788, 43125123454.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] my muse...

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:36:37 2022 No.19806029 I jacked off 5 times today

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:39:46 2022 No.19806039 File: 1.98 MB, 400x300, 1642625798548.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19806016 girlfriends?

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:40:46 2022 No.19806043

>>19805983
There was once a dog named Rex who had an owner named John. One day, as Rex was eating his own feces, a UFO appeared out of nowhere and abducted him. The aliens wondering what the creature they saw was, decided to anal probe it so the can make the dog intelligent and ascend it's consciousness. The aliens also implanted a camera into the eyes of Rex in order to record what is going on in the perspective of the dog.
Rex was sent back into the backyard, now far more intelligent and aware, however a smart dog is still a dog so it could not speak or communicate properly with his owner. Rex slightly scratched the door to get the attention of John to be let into the house. As Rex entered the house, he saw John going back to his PC, realizing the filth John surrounded himself with, from half eaten bags of doritos to cans of buddweiser, it occured to Rex that John had broken up and was depressed. As Rex gently stood up to put his paws on John, on the corner of his eyes he saw John looking at Futa and Hentai porn on a 4chan thread. Knowing his owners degeneracy, Rex had become aware of his own degeneracy and wanted to fuck a white human females ass. But thinking a dog can fuck a human as impossible and being ashamed of his owner, Rex decided to tie a noose and hang himself.

Finn.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:40:48 2022 No.19806044 I hate the time where I live in, I wish I was born in an older time so I could have more chances of being a sane person.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:44:03 2022 No.19806050 >>19805996 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-makSNqxq0

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:44:08 2022 No.19806051 >>19806043 How did he tie a noose? Dogs don’t have thumbs. Did the aliens also give him thumbs?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:46:05 2022 No.19806059 >>19806051 It's a smart dog, he managed to tie a noose with his tail and hang himself from it.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:47:02 2022 No.19806063 >>19806059 Smart enough to tie a noose but not smart enough to communicate with John? What a hack

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:49:05 2022 No.19806071

>>19806063
Well a dog would struggle to vocalize human sounds even if it understood human language. It would be like an eldritch god that is extremely intelligent and can understand telepathically, their spoken language would be unfathomable to lesser species.
But also Rex is a dumb nigger faggot doomer who is blackpilled.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 02:54:26 2022 No.19806084 My heart yawns for cute hamburgers.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:11:34 2022 No.19806116 >girl on omegle says I'd be a good boyfriend >she says she has to go >say goodbye >close the website >read about formal experimentation in comics for the rest of the day

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:12:14 2022 No.19806118 >>19806116 Comfy

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:15:40 2022 No.19806133 File: 1.29 MB, 640x800, 1643093134625.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I must convert to islam

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:26:39 2022 No.19806161 >>19805547 >If I'm so smart You're not

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:31:31 2022 No.19806182 >>19806029 This is bad. >>19806016 INXS

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:32:32 2022 No.19806186 Niggers we died for

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:33:00 2022 No.19806188 >>19806016 None

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:38:25 2022 No.19806204 >>19806016 Frank Ocean or Ariana Grande I don't get to choose

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:44:48 2022 No.19806224 >>19806016 black metal

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:48:21 2022 No.19806235 >>19806016 Deadmau5 And that mummy cat thing from animal crossing

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 03:57:51 2022 No.19806263 >>19806016 you make guys love your girlfriends with?

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:11:15 2022 No.19806298

I am a 21 years old virgin who never had a gf or kissed. When I was in high-school I used to be very horny (jerked off at least once at two days) and I suffered for not having a gf (I was very shy), at 17 I was close to pay a hooker for sex but it never happened. After I finished high-school, I started to lose my interest in women, until I didn't feel any need for having a gf. If I think about women I still have a feeling of attraction towards them but is only when I do it on purpose, it doesn't come to my mind involuntary. I don't even know what to do at this point, should I try to get a gf? I have no friends and seems like a very hard task, I am also not the best looking guy but my parents tell me that having a gf will make me feel less depressed. Are they right?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:16:42 2022 No.19806321 File: 2.81 MB, 4160x2336, Hitler_Haus_am_See.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19800146 What's your reading rate? Mine is 2 minutes per page if it's something dense from the 19th century.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:18:14 2022 No.19806326 >>19806321 Varies wildly between books. If I'm familiar with an author and they're not super dense I can usually get up to 50 pages an hour though.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:19:25 2022 No.19806331 File: 59 KB, 506x750, FAAF0A64-AD84-4210-9BC2-20C03D5B09D7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Here >>19806328

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:20:18 2022 No.19806336 >>19806298 No. Having friends, and a sense of purpose will make you less depressed.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:24:05 2022 No.19806351 >>19805707 empathy&compassionpilled. salute, anon

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:27:07 2022 No.19806362 >>19806321 much slower than that, but I don't mind. When you only read extremely unabashedly good prose, spending more time in the text is a pleasure.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:31:11 2022 No.19806378 >>19806298 >I am a 21 years old virgin who never had a gf or kissed. boo hoo how sad and depressing you're fucking 21 years old mate, it's not like you're 68

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 04:32:29 2022 No.19806385 >>19806016 Tonetta

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 25 09:40:27 2022 No.19807399 >>19800146 sawcon deez nutz 'nd ligma bows

Anonymous Tue Jan 25 09:44:26 2022 No.19807420

>>19800191
Don't think like this. No matter what you do you are bound to decay and die. The only thing a "successful" past can give you is stories to use to comfort yourself or show off to others about how you are superior and how you have accomplished things.

Look for the eternal life not the material life. Material life will always let you down even if you made millions and owned nations. Many examples in history to draw from.

Orthodox Christianity is where you should head to.

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/lit/ - Literature