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/lit/ - Literature

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19033940 No.19033940 [Reply] [Original]

The next time i fall asleep it will probably last forever.

Any final recs?
I liked memoirs of a madman by gustave flaubert.

>> No.19034132

>>19033940
Diary of a Madman by Gogol

>> No.19034779

>>19033940
Death of Ivan Ilyich

>> No.19034824

>>19033940
Honestly if was my last days i'd want something funny, that leaves on a hopeful note. Read Confederacy of Dunces.

>> No.19034852

>>19033940
What's wrong? Are you killing yourself? Do you have a terminal illness that you can tell is at its end?

>> No.19034909

Oblomov. I found it to be life affirming.

>> No.19035070

>>19034852
The former. I wont be asking for more recommendations today, I listened to fpbp and I'm half way through reading the second rec which i pirated online.
I plan to hang from the ceiling at midnight (UTC+2) in about 5 hours.
GG
Currently hoping to God the cumgenius tripfag wont find my thread.

>> No.19035077

>>19035070
>Currently hoping to God the cumgenius tripfag wont find my thread.
why?

>> No.19035082

>>19035070
What brought you to this final decision?

>> No.19035086

>>19035077
I need to persist until midnight.

>> No.19035111
File: 53 KB, 667x684, apu and pupper.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19035111

>>19035086
Dang, he has the power to save your mortal life? That's pretty impressive.

>> No.19035171

>>19035082
When i moved out all my family rejected me, they wont respond to my texts or calls at all and it confuses me.
When i graduated this year all my friends declined the invitations i offered them to hang out and have fun during the summer vacation.
In august i decided to stop texting them, and see who would text me first.
I waited a week and decided if noone was going to text me a whole month, i would kill myself, since their well-being was my biggest and perhaps only motivation to keep going.
Today its one month since i isolated myself and noone knocked on my door, texted me or called.
I dont know what the fuck is wrong with me and probably wont ever find out.

>> No.19035196

>>19035171
You can't base your own self worth on the opinions or even recognition of others. You are yourself, whatever that entails, regardless of whether no one or everyone sees you as such. I'd recommend staying your decision while looking into a philosophy where you can justify your existence on its own merits, not external support. Maybe read some Camus.

>> No.19035229

>>19035171
I got stood up by friends too after helping them and giving them life advice and I neglected the only girl I ever really liked and now she wont speak to me and stood me up too its' tragic
but sadly so common it's not a reason to take your own life

so many people have been betrayed/abandoned/stood up by friends, best thing u can do is get a new friend group as soon as possible and take the time to learn from the experience

>> No.19035246

>>19035171
Alot of this is probably owing to the covid mindset, anon. I rarely text or get texts these days but I compensate with reading more, writing, and spending time with my dog. Does your family know that all this hurts you? If not, you shouldn't be so proud as not to inform them. Have you thought of maybe dropping by the family dwelling, if only to see how your received? Is there something you're not revealing here? Have you maybe publicly asserted political choices that rub them all the wrong way? This is what it seems like, at any rate.

>> No.19035275

>>19035246
I dont have any "political choices" at all, what does it seem like to you?

>> No.19035361

>>19035171
Why the fuck you're giving your enemies this much power over your actions? Fuck them.

I am also suicidal and wish for death but killing yourself due to the lack of attention from some scumbags is pathetic. Remember what Cioran says you have always the option to kill yourself when thing get absolutely insufferable so what's the fucking hurry? I am sorry man I know suicide cooks up slowly for long time but you can't let them destroy you again.

>> No.19035418

>>19035275
Because there're alot of people completely shutting out other people due to the political choices they openly express these days

>> No.19035453

>>19035246
So far as to what it could be it just seems like you're withholding some bit of information. Have you renounced God? Picked God up? Become religiously or atheistically vociferous? What compelled you to leave home? Something just not right here
What possibly could be behind the others you know and care about dropping you so completely? And why are so proud that you're not willing to do all you can to get to the bottom of it?
Have inherited, suddenly, alot if money?

>> No.19035463

>>19035453
This meant for
>>19035275

>> No.19035491

>>19035171
Please don't do it, Anon.

>> No.19035535

You are young. There is more. There will always be more. But if you cannot be persuaded by us to stay, then just know that there is yet even more to come after you have left.

Love to you, my friend.

>> No.19035688

This has to be one of the best places of internet for discussing personal suicide, people here don't hold back from being rude or cynical, and yet can be very lovely. Love you all.

>> No.19035709

>>19035688
Yeah, most places just go "NOOOOO YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL DON'T DO IT," which having known multiple suicidal people doesn't do jack shit since it's so obviously a canned response. I really do hope OP changes his mind, but an open discussion with someone about the underlying issues is going to help more than blind lovebombing.

>> No.19035713

>>19035535
>There is more
I hope the nihilistic fags dont get upset that i might pussy out of heroing tonight, but these posts above and this sentence especially convinced me to give life a second thought.

>> No.19035919

>>19035713
This is the best news I've heard in a long time.

>> No.19035921

>>19035171
When you give someone a test without telling them about it, and you're the one setting the parameters of the test, you're sabotaging yourself.

Have you tried a therapist? They aren't as expensive as TV makes you think. Especially if you have any sort of health insurance.

You could also check out /fit/ and start working out. You don't need specific goals for your body, but staying active can give you more energy and improve your overall outlook on life.

>> No.19035926

>>19035709
Yeah I've seen that on reddit & it always comes across as super un-genuine.

>> No.19035930

>>19035713
This made my day. Good luck on your journey, anon.

>> No.19035998

>>19035171
You can find friends that are more responsive, a gf or bf for example. People are busy and living in fear and so on... So many reason why they might not call or text.

I sincerely hope you don't follow though with this. You would be making a big mistake in my opinion.

>> No.19036078

>>19035713
It gets better, Anon.
Best of luck to you and read the confederacy of dunces or 12 chairs for some hearty keks.

>> No.19036148
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19036148

>>19035171
Do a flip.

>> No.19036312

>>19035070
Pray with all your heart for the first time in your life and you will be healed. I'm not trying to be flippant by saying this, do also the Wim Hof breathing method. I cried for 5 minutes straight the first time I did it seriously. It will release your trauma.

>> No.19036437

>>19035171
I sympathize 3000%. I am like this too.

>be me
>melancholy idiot
>don't want to do jack shit unless it's somehow communal, ie making kabob with friends
>school friends all cut contact
>one told me he never liked you
>you become a churchfat again after an agnostic phase
>family coincidentally ceases to be churchnormalfats
>become lampadarios
>they still don't go to church
>makesyouthink
>maman would rather listen to mike lindel for three days straight than spend three hours in church with you dotjaypeg
>feel incompetent
>was unemployed for 5 years
>another old friend recently totally and abruptly alienated you

Estrangement darkens the heart in a way that even death doesn't. Do you have a bike, anon? Go for a bike ride. When you come back, you want to find the right sentence that can finally resolve the inner conflict.

Ultimately, self pity is pride. You can really take self-abasement to such an extreme that it becomes just pride. I do it too all the time, but it's gay shit and you know it.

>> No.19036472

>>19036437
s/me/your momn/

>> No.19037761

>>19036472
Most people on lit aren't going to get this

>> No.19037875

>>19035171
Holy cringe.
Please kill yourself now. No need to wait any longer.

>> No.19037902

>>19033940
should i read it before "sentimental education"?

>> No.19037906
File: 811 KB, 220x162, Suicide dab.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19037906

>>19036148
I'm disappointed this was only the 8th reply to suicidal attention seeking.
If OP doesn't want to abandon the post God put him in, he shouldn't do it, otherwise he should just livestream it.

>> No.19037907

>>19035171
lmfao

>he bases his entire value on what other people think of him
>make such little impact no one notices when he's missing

>>19035491
Please do.

>>19035070
>5 hours
Damn I'm late.
Did he do it?

>> No.19037953

Op here. I just came out as Trans btw any books on how to convince my dad to become Trans also?

>> No.19037993

>>19035070
>kys because you have no friends
lol. I have never had a friend in my life and I don't even want one