Dealing with spiritual drought

[Anonymous No.18904716]

Lately I've been feeling as as if everything is pointless, as if my suffering has no meaning and as if suicide is pretty much the only thing that makes sense as an act of rebellion against the senselessness of life. I haven't always felt this way though. I've had periods in my life where I was spiritually active and very content with my life and in which I felt that my existence had meaning and was part of a greater plan.
Over the past few years I've drifted from tradition to tradition. I was a Taoist and then I was a Christian and then I was a Buddhist and then I was trying to get into Hermeticism and the like, but all this has done for me is made me more confused and uncertain of the path that I should pursue. Eventually I just gave up and stuck to some Advaita methods to try to eliminate the mind to at least reduce my own suffering, but this is not satisfactory either and instead of transporting me into a realm of blissful non-attachment, I find myself in a kind of nihilistic apathy.

That's why I've come here, because I know that some of you are on a similar quest. What course of action should I take? I would like to fill my life with a sense of spirituality and the pursuit of higher wisdom again.

[Anonymous No.18904730]

>/lit/ - literature

[Anonymous No.18904745]

>>18904730
Spiritual / Religious books aren't literature?

[Anonymous No.18904845]

There is no God. Read Marx and accept materialism. Religion is just learned helplessness. That is why most keep relapsing into their sins. Recognize the good parts of religion (porn, masturbation, sex and homosexuality bad) and just do whatever you want aside from those.

[Anonymous No.18905002]

>>18904845
Does materialism personally give you satisfaction in life? For me, I don't really get any satisfaction out of it. I've pretty much got anything I could need from a material standpoint. Sure, I'd like to drive a Lamborghini, but will making that my pursuit in life make me happy? I doubt it.

[Anonymous No.18905097]

There's an interesting project about this:

https://meaningness.com/

While the presentation there is secular, turns out the guy practices Vajrayana Buddhism. This in particular might be relevant to you:

https://vividness.live/fit

He also mentions elsewhere in Vividness that Buddhism is a good fit for him, because he naturally tends to nihilism (as opposed to what he calls eternalism, the view that there is a Cosmic Plan that justifies everything).

[Anonymous No.18905100]

>>18904716
Reject spirituality. Nothing matters so suicide isnt a rebellion against life anymore than living is. Just seek things that you find fun dude. Dont look for meaning in religious and spiritual texts but garner enjoyment from the ideas, and the different ways of thought humans have come up with. Theres so much stuff to learn.

[Anonymous No.18905118]

>>18904716
i can't really give you advice but i'll ask have you actually had any mystical "results" with the systems that you practiced? also, whats causing you to hop from tradition to tradition?

[Anonymous No.18905121]

>>18905100
>just live laugh love
You are a cosmic snail

[Anonymous No.18905187]

>>18904716

I became Catholic because of the saints. So read some saints' lives.

I think Augustine would be especially relatable to the average 4channer. He was a smart but somewhat vain and lazy man (never learned Greek) who was addicted to sensual pleasures and dabbled in a weird Eastern religion. Then in his late 20s he started reading summaries of neo-Platonists, rented a villa with his mom and a couple of friends, and started seriously debating and pursuing philosophy in a really earnest but also dilettantish and naive fashion.

Then he realized the Christians were the only ones who weren't completely full of crap, abandoned everything, gave away his possessions, tried to live like a monk and was forced to become a bishop.

I can't pretend that my path here has been rational, like I was convinced by reading Dominican blogs or something. I think a lot of the words in John, "where else can we go, Lord? You have the words of eternal life."

I've been exposed to plenty of nonsense, hedonistic "Buddhists", psychedelic enthusiasts, etc. Only the Catholics are really legitimate. Except when they aren't, but even then they're bad in spite of their religion, never because of it. They're the only ones with a coherent theology and ecclesiology and the only ones who make real and difficult demands on your behavior.

Pic is another favorite saint, I love her because of her humility and struggles with atheism.

[Anonymous No.18905189]

>>18905121
There is no poof of anything cosmic so there is no point even considering it, except for fun. You can lie to yourself if you want, it is your life, in the end, it doesnt matter anyway.

[Anonymous No.18905207]

>>18905189
>it doesnt matter anyway
Tfw trying to explain this to old Jews at the holocaust survivor gathering

[Anonymous No.18905235]

>>18905002
Are you OP? If so, you outed yourself as a gigapseud. Materialism means the world is material, simply that. The popular use of the term is wrong and people use it when they really mean to say consumerism.

[Anonymous No.18905243]

I read about eastern religions and go to catholic mass. It can't be helped!

[Anonymous No.18905245]

>>18905207
Hate to break it to you, but emotions are a human(and some animal thing), humans are nothing but a cluster of atoms shifting charges and releasign energy, and so are emotions. The universe does not care. Uncountable terrible things have happened well before the Holocaust, a many more will happen every day. The universe is uncaring to human plight, we as Humans, with our arrogance think the universe has a plan for us but this is all ego and desperation and no substance or evidence.

[Anonymous No.18905283]

http://www.occult-mysteries.org/path-to-the-light.html

[Anonymous No.18905295]

>>18905097
This looks interesting. I'll have a look at it. What I like about oriental traditions is that they give a certain beauty to the uselessness of life, like that parable about the useless tree by Chuang Tzu.


>>18905100
>Nothing matters so suicide isnt a rebellion against life anymore than living is.
I agree with you on this.
>Dont look for meaning in religious and spiritual texts but garner enjoyment from the ideas, and the different ways of thought humans have come up with. Theres so much stuff to learn.
I'm not looking for enjoyment, I'm moreso looking for something, some kind of code of conduct that will get me through life when times are tough, as they are right now.

>>18905118
I've had some really intense experiences in multiple traditions, which is in part causing my confusion. When I was really into Advaita and nondualism I'd spend all day meditating and practicing certain techniques and I would experience states of complete and utter thoughtless captivation, in which 'I' didn't exist. No anxiety, no thoughts at all, I'd go hours and hours not thinking a single thought. I've never felt anything like it in my life. This would go on for weeks sometimes. It was beautiful and I can only compare it to experiences that I've had on mushrooms. Then Christianity offered me a feeling of companionship and personal affection, being guided by a paternal force, with
the development of your character in mind. It also gave me hopes about the goodness in others and the anticipation of a better world to come. All that kind of fell apart though, when I went from church to church, hoping to find some semblance of the magic I'd experienced listening to preachers and reading old Christian books.

Thinking about it, I am beginning to feel like these traditions are different roads that ultimately lead to the same destination: An unobscured experience of the self.

I hope the quotes will show correctly, I'm not sure if I did it right.

[Anonymous No.18905325]

>>18905235
Yeah, I'm OP. Sorry, I interpreted it in the wrong way then. But still, if the material universe is all that there is, then the logical conclusion would be to pursue things that are of this world so to speak and that's what I was talking about.

[Anonymous No.18905408]

>>18905295
what are your thoughts on god?
>I am beginning to feel like these traditions are different roads that ultimately lead to the same destination: An unobscured experience of the self.
i'd have to disagree very much for me all the various mystical systems i'm interested are to bring myself closer to God and not some retarded cessation of suffering or anything kek

[Anonymous No.18905508]

>>18905408
>i'd have to disagree very much for me all the various mystical systems i'm interested are to bring myself closer to God and not some retarded cessation of suffering or anything kek
You can kek all you want, but I'm willing to bet that the reason you want to get closer to God is because you are attempting to reduce your own suffering, even though you might not have the self awareness to notice this.

As for my opinion on God, these days I believe that the unobscured self is God. You are the universe experiencing itself, the absolute, the supreme parabrahman.

[Anonymous No.18905541]

>>18905325

[Anonymous No.18905556]

>>18905541
LMAOO saving that

[Anonymous No.18905630]

>>18905508
even if it were going to make me miserable, suffer immensely, or go insane i would still quest for God because it is Good for it's own sake. Is the reason things are good because they make us happy or reduce our suffering? If you think so then you are admitting that you hold pleasure as the highest good, making you nothing more than an exotic hedonist.
>As for my opinion on God, these days I believe that the unobscured self is God.
this is unbelievably retarded

[Anonymous No.18905671]

>>18905189
>There is no poof

[Anonymous No.18905681]

It's hard OP. The brain of someone with depression doesn't work correctly. I was diagnosed with chronic depression when I was 24. I had good moments, but it's never really that good. I have nothing to complain about. I have a nice family, job and dated most of my life, but the depression keeps winning.
Discipline does help, but when I skip gym, don't read or something I was supposed to do, it hits me again. I say to myself "wtf are you feeling like this? Look at the progress you made, it's not a big deal, just do it tomorrow", but my brain doesn't accept that and the day gets really bad.
Maybe antidepressants can help.

[Anonymous No.18905699]

>>18904716
Don't overintellectualize spirituality for one. You will not "read" your way to it; you must do something like meditate or pray (which are usually the same thing) even if you have a subconscious nagging that it's "beneath you" as opposed to reading.

[Anonymous No.18905704]

>>18904845
I've never seen a commie who hates religion but wants to uphold the puritanical parts of its morality.

[Anonymous No.18905719]

>>18905671
prove it

[Anonymous No.18905751]

>>18905719
kalam, ontological argument, TAG, etc.

[Anonymous No.18905824]

>>18905751
Literally new of this proves anything.
>kalam - "the fundamental Islamic beliefs and doctrines which are necessary for a Muslim to believe in." i.e if you dont believe your religion falls apart
>ontological argument - he defines God as "a being than which no greater can be conceived," and argues that such being must exist in the mind, even in that of the person who denies the existence of God. (then precedes to give no reason for this)
>TAG - God is a necessary precondition for logic and morality because these are immaterial, yet real universals. (Morality is a human concept, there is no proof otherwise. You cant just state that it is and hope. Logic is just the world returning to equilibrium.)

[Anonymous No.18905840]

>>18905681
I can relate to this a lot. Things that make other people happy, don't seem to make me happy. I've been on antidepressants before and they just made me feel like I was high or numb honestly. I think it's just the state of my life right now, I dropped out of school when I was 18 and completely isolated myself from the world and succumbed to my addictions. The years after that I spent fighting those addictions and trying to philosophise myself out of my despair, until I finally decided to get help. Fast forward a year, I've got a job, I'm starting college next month, I've become very disciplined and I've got many interests, but I still feel miserable. I think it's because I don't have any meaningful relationships in my life. I've had to cut ties with my toxic mother and now the only person in my life is my autistic father who might as well be a robot. For some reason I can't for the life of me make friends, only acquaintances. I go to work everyday and I talk to people and it's fun, but it never goes anywhere. I feel like I'm a stranger among people, watching the world, never quite fitting in. I just feel jaded, empty.

[Anonymous No.18905903]

>>18904716
No one has the answer. If some one did, we would’ve all converted to whatever religion that autist came up with. This is actually a good thing though. You are free to find your own purpose and meaning in life. However, I suspect a significant proportion of the population was bred to be cattle, the types to have been slaves/servants a couple hundred years ago and that in modernity they’re the ones that tend to suffer the most from these spiritual/existential crises.

[Anonymous No.18905905]

>>18904716
>try advaita
>"real reality is basically just an eternal void, except it's conscious of itself."
>"anything other than that abyss is fake and has no effect on anything whatsoever"
and you wonder how you became nihilistic?

>>18905508
>you are the universe experiencing itself
yeah i remember when i was a freshman in college

>>18905840
what are your vitamin D levels (or, how often are you outside in the sun with your shirt off)?
and how often do you coom?

[Anonymous No.18905915]

>>18904845
How do you hold that position? The intellectual progression from marx forward has already been done for you over the course of the last century. There is no way you can accept the fundamental points of marx and feuerbach on God and religion, and then uphold the idea that something like homosexuality or masturbation is wrong. Either you have a genuinely interesting answer waiting for this decaying, late stage /lit/ thread or you are pseuding.

t. not a marxist or any vein of it

[Anonymous No.18905979]

Speaking as someone who is religious, I think your problem is that you are trying ti fill a void of purpose with a structure external to yourself. I would know this because I’ve been there myself. In fact, this is Kierkegaard 101. You so desperately want to be sublimated by this great spiritual conspiracy such that you don’t have to confront your relationship with the tangible world. You are funnily enough exacerbating that innate existential anxiety by seeking a solution that is explicitly outside of yourself.

Start by putting all your spiritual books down for a moment. Analyze where you are in life; observe the status of your relationship with your friends and family, if you have a girlfriend, if your job satisfies you. Ask if you are fulfilling the obligations and role of your character: are you in shape? are you charitable? are your politics in line with your moral consciousness? I find that generally whatever truly plagues you is much simpler in nature than longing for spiritual calling. The trouble is that often we’d rather find a band aid than actually go through the strenuous exercise of healing that ailment properly. So confront yourself, and ask what it is that is truly making you unhappy, and apply some willpower and get it fixed.

The fact is that spirituality begs maturity first and foremost. If you can hardly find peace in your personal life, then how can you begin to contemplate something so much bigger than yourself, such as the cosmos? Its in fact the most basic principle of hermeticism that your nature, your character, your psyche, these are all microcosms of the divine order. If you cannot sort out your own personal sphere of influence, then neither do you truly understand theology and cosmology.

[Anonymous No.18906157]

>>18905824
i think you're seriously retarded
> kalam - "the fundamental Islamic beliefs and doctrines which are necessary for a Muslim to believe in." i.e if you dont believe your religion falls apart
i'm not a mudslime, i'm referring to the kalam cosmological argument retard

>ontological argument - he defines God as "a being than which no greater can be conceived," and argues that such being must exist in the mind, even in that of the person who denies the existence of God.
(then precedes to give no reason for this)
there are many versions of the ontological argument, some better than others, but i think the best one is essentially that if there is some possible world in which god exists (essentially meaning if god's existence is possible), then it is necessary that god exists in all worlds

>Logic is just the world returning to equilibrium
this means nothing and is retarded, does a=a and a!=!a y/n, the point of the TAG is that any worldview without god is incoherent because in these worldviews knowledge itself is impossible, based on the fact that logic itself, induction, immaterial objects, objectivity , externality are all unjustified without the existence of god. If you don't understand basic epistemology you might have trouble comprehending this you DUMB NIGGER!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.18906167]

>>18906157
also if you deny the veracity of logic then you can't even interact in a debate

[Anonymous No.18906249]

>>18905100
>>18904845
Don't listen to these reddit npc hylics. They're spiritually jaded and their souls will gradually rot with their hedonism and materialism

You're doing great OP. Studying philosophy and religion with a rigorous search for truth is based, and the fact that you are own the road of nihilism now means you are evolving on your spiritual journey. I won't tell you what to think or do, you simply must embrace that you are on a difficult path to find meaning and belonging without settling for dogma. And this is exactly why you are struggling, because you can't accept dogmatic beliefs, but all schools of thought are simply structured lables and boxed in ideas. You're getting to the truth about them, no one has the right answer, only you can find your own, thus you will have to search deep inside yourself what you truly believe, instead of reading a bunch of other people's ideas in order to find something you can "fit into and belong to". Your ego is scared of uncertainty and loneliness thus you try to cling to certain ideologies. Stop and listen. What is God telling you?

[Anonymous No.18906309]

>>18905508
You are an absolute retard quoting fucking Coelho and implying the God is Self. There's obviously a God behind all matter, behind your consciousness, behind the universe. Otherwise where did the first matter, the first movement of an aotm come from? I don't have answers to this but you've literally stop thinking at the surface of the iceberg. Now go follow good advice and start with the Greeks you slave

[Anonymous No.18906512]

>>18905187
That info on Augustine, is it in his Confessions?

[Anonymous No.18906539]

>>18904845
>still thinking the Bible was against sex and masturbation because Onan didn't cum in his dead brother's wife

[Anonymous No.18906595]

>>18906512
>pear-core

[Anonymous No.18907412]

>>18906512
Yes

[Anonymous No.18907575]

>>18904716
Been there done that. Bro, you said you were into Taoism, but I think you completely missed the point. You need to think less homie.

Check out some Zen stuff if you want more tho (not pop-zen either, maybe try some Huangbo or Bankei or something).