/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.18464659]

>He imagines himself as a famous author doing an interview for his new bestselling book.

[Anonymous No.18464662]

>he imagines his crush reading Wild Palms and him being the author.

[Anonymous No.18464669]

>>18464659
We all do this OP, it's nothing to be ashamed about.

[Anonymous No.18464671]

>>18464659
>Every step brought him nearer to London, farther from his own sober
inartistic life. A light began to tremble on the horizon of his mind. He was
not so old - thirty-two. His temperament might be said to be just at the
point of maturity. There were so many different moods and impressions
that he wished to express in verse. He felt them within him. He tried to
weigh his soul to see if it was a poet's soul. Melancholy was the dominant
note of his temperament, he thought, but it was a melancholy tempered
by recurrences of faith and resignation and simple joy. If he could give
expression to it in a book of poems perhaps men would listen. He would
never be popular: he saw that. He could not sway the crowd, but he
might appeal to a little circle of kindred minds. The English critics,
perhaps, would recognize him as one of the Celtic school by reason of the
melancholy tone of his poems; besides that, he would put in allusions. He
began to invent sentences and phrases from the notice which his book
would get. 'Mr. Chandler has the gift of easy and graceful verse'... 'A
wistful sadness pervades these poems'... 'The Celtic note'. It was a pity
his name was not more Irish-looking. Perhaps it would be better to insert
his mother's name before the surname: Thomas Malone Chandler; or
better still: T. Malone Chandler. He would speak to Gallaher about it.
Literally me

[Anonymous No.18464684]

I do this every day in the shower. Not even a famous author, though, just a published one.

[Anonymous No.18464719]

>Wanting to be famous in the matrix

[Anonymous No.18464724]

I do just that, and it's always on a specific TV show I absolutely despise

[Anonymous No.18464743]

I imagine being a famous author and never doing a single interview, signing, or Twitter self promotion. This is even more ridiculous than imagining myself giving an interview.

[Anonymous No.18464756]

>>18464659
>he even trained a new signature

[Anonymous No.18464808]

>>18464743
Heh, baby.
I imagine myself as a hermit author who never gives interviews and lives like a normal factory worker but one day I decided to do a single television interview to make my editor, who's my friend, happy, only to be so offended by the stupidity of the interviewer that I just walk out in the middle of the interview

[Anonymous No.18465110]

>>18464808
Literally me except the factory bit.

[Anonymous No.18465349]

>>18464659
>And where do you get the idea of starting wrinting books, anon?
>Well...The idea came to me as I was browsing on this Bruneian coffee brewing forum...

[Anonymous No.18465400]

This joke only works if you’re referencing some type of observable behavior.

[Anonymous No.18465889]

I imagine myself buying a small, cozy apartment and living there quietly with my wife, having fun writing books and reading books and talking about books.
Bestseller is cool, for sure, but I will be glad just to make a decent living out of writing. And I sure as hell don't want to be famous, social person. Love the quiet.

[Anonymous No.18465923]

>>18464659
I imagine myself with your mom

[Anonymous No.18467656]

>>18464659
>Imagine myself in an interview
>Interview is going really well, I anticipated every question
>"I just have one last question... what did you mean, when you posted the n-word 5 hundred times on this message board?"
>open eyes, run downstairs and pace around kitchen until I calm down
theres a tulpa hiding in my brain flipping switches it shouldn't be, and I dont know how to get rid of it

[Anonymous No.18467665]

>>18464659
I james bond burger your sister

[Anonymous No.18467669]

I imagine myself going through my influences and how I developed my writing process.
I also often imagine being invited to talk at a small university and seeing the students go "really shit, is that really Anon?".

[Anonymous No.18467697]

I imagine myself as a modestly well known author with a dedicated fanbase. I'd also like to be known as very gracious with fans.
I'm obviously not good enough to be published, but I don't know shit about marketing and have zero online presence, so self publishing is out. The only people who read my stuff are my therapist and a few friends.

[Anonymous No.18467755]

I imagine myself as an interviewer asking all kinds of pointed questions that demonstrate my deep understanding of the author's work, almost as if it had been written just for me.

[Anonymous No.18468918]

>>18467656
"it's a funny word lol"

[Anonymous No.18468956]

>>18464659
No, I imagine myself as a famous author outlining my next book.

[Anonymous No.18468977]

I imagine my work being discovered in 100 years and me being read by retards on anonymous literature imageboards

[Anonymous No.18468978]

I imagine myself as an author that no one cares to interview, but sells just enough to justify more book deals.

[Anonymous No.18469027]

>>18465889
This. My wife already works from home, so if I could just be a reclusive writer we could go live somewhere nice far away and I could spend every day with our future kids and just read and write everyday.

[Anonymous No.18469059]

>>18467656
>It's what made me the author you know and love. I wouldn't be the writer I am today if it wasn't for them.

[Anonymous No.18469064]

>Having dreams
Kys

[Anonymous No.18469128]

>random celebrity/elite steals my book
>widely praised and considered literary genius
>i sue him
>go to court
>my lawyer asks him questions about themes, inspiration
>asks him the meaning of this scene that chapter
>he gives well-spoken but empty answers
>lawyer asks me same questions
>i go into autistic detail relating my life experience to the book, quoting the book directly, citing the dozens of philosophy texts and classics i've used as inspiration for each scene each sentence
>convince jury
>win case
>get millions of dollars
i don't know anything about law but this is how i picture it

[Anonymous No.18470544]

I was never going to become the next Faulkner, the next Nabokov or the next Joyce, but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted. I had thought my country's education system to be topmost in the world, but this turned out to be utter bollocks. A child of 18, a person ten years my junior, has a greater vocabulary than I, who had to look up the word “topiary”, and no one likes the expression theory of art anymore, I am likened to a long lost dinosaur.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level. My tenses are mixed up; I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia. I mix tired and trite idioms together to obfuscate their unoriginality with a veneer of irony; I have continued to recite ornate Jewish chimpanzee parables with diminishing returns. The parable seemed very clearly to me to be asking me whether or not the now-grown-adult can choose. I say yes, of course, but that's not my issue.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 103 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. The themes of time, space, infinity, memory and pointless duelling are not present in my work. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit!
Story arcs, character arcs, narrative arcs, these are all outdated terms. You say what you hear, and only the anime fandom uses the term “arc” anymore. I am a toad! Look how many words I wrote, because apparently literature is bodybuilding and just aimlessly typing will somehow improve my writing. My appetites grew as I wrote, I set a goal of a 100 thousand words when I began, only for the cancerous growth to demand a 137 thousand words soon enough to be completed, and still I don't even know what genre it is that I'm writing. Is it autofiction? A comedy? A picaresque? Am I merely shitposting edgelord-triggering diarrhea in neo-emo gothic revivalist gestalt?
Regardless, I have failed, and even in my failure I have merely imitated how people who think they write well but write poorly write, and I couldn't even do that well. "Oh I can do that anytime if I wanted to" I thought, but no. I have put down my pen. Never again will my fingers click-clack across the keyboard. No more outlines, no more characters. Goodbye.

[Anonymous No.18472647]

>>18464719
This

[Anonymous No.18474438]

>>18464669
This, I even practice my best Davey Fosty Wally faces in the mirror for the big interview, it's completely normal.

[Anonymous No.18474526]

>become successful writer
>immediately blackmailed into becoming a CIA asset

[Anonymous No.18474595]

Imagining yourself being interviewed about your book is a great way to sort out your book and find the flaws. If you can not answer the questions well, then you have work to do. For everything I add to piece I ask myself the common interview questions, how does this relate to theme, what does it say about the characters, how does it relate to other sections of the work and so on. Imagining it as an interview instead of just asking yourself the questions helps to develop a dialog, you interact with the imaginary interviewer instead of just falling into a simple Q&A format, you are more likely to explore the idea in depth. Imagining you are famous helps to get you thinking about your audience in your responses to the questions which gets you thinking about them in your writing, how will a reader respond to this part? How do I want them to respond? etc.

This is a very common exercise in writing classes at both the highschool and university levels. Hell, this was literally the first exercise I had in dialog writing.

[Anonymous No.18474999]

F. Gardner achieved it. No reason why the rest of us can’t.

[Anonymous No.18475348]

>>18474999
Trips of truth.

[Anonymous No.18475353]

>>18464659
Yeah it would be quite sad and pathetic. Embarrassing to know I share a board with people who do it.
>>18464669
I've never done this because I'm not a fag.

[Anonymous No.18475393]

>>18474999
Based

[Anonymous No.18475481]

>>18464659
More like a debate between me and Zizek, snifff. With RC Waldun asking us, sniffff, questions.

[Anonymous No.18475740]

>>18474999
/thread over

[Anonymous No.18475760]

>>18464659
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS

[Anonymous No.18475818]

>>18474999
Based.

[Anonymous No.18475966]

>>18474999
OP eternally and unconditionally BTFO.

[Anonymous No.18476053]

>he imagines he writes a Nobel prize winning book that he adapts into a movie that he directs himself, that he acts in, winning Oscars for both directing and acting

[Anonymous No.18476067]

>>18464662
Fpbp

[Anonymous No.18476140]

>>18464659
It's a bit staggering to think that, probably, not a single one of us will be remembered for our writings.
How much have you all written? I've written 2 novels (trash), 2 books of philosophy (even worse), and hundreds of poems (bad). It's not hard and I want to do it, but I find it almost humurous how much writing ends up in the waste bin.

[Anonymous No.18476184]

I imagine that I sold one book which later got a netflix original movie deal, but eventually the money ran out and I had to go back to work at a normal job. And sometimes when I talk to my coworkers, I casually mention that I once sold a book which became a movie, but it's been fifteen years and it takes a while for them to remember the movie and they never realized there was a book in the first place.

[Anonymous No.18476241]

>>18476140
My local thrift store has an entire floor dedicated to secondhand books. Just recently I was browsing and it struck me that so many of these were completely forgotten. For a lot of these authors, it was probably their first and last book, and I have to imagine there was a day when they finally got a reply from an agent, and went through the whole process, and got a publishing deal and an advance, and they were probably thinking they'd finally made it and now they could earn a living from their passion. But then the book sold like 5000 copies and they never got another contract. And they made it so much further in their careers than most aspiring authors, and that probably stung a lot more than just failing a lot and giving up.

There's this book I like called Carnosaur, about an insane billionaire who clones dinosaurs. It came out three years before Jurassic Park, and all it's remembered for is being really similar to Jurassic Park but not taking off in the same way. And there will probably be a day when all of Michael Crichton's works are only relevant to a bunch of internet geeks obsessed with genre fiction, but everyone else is like "Jurassic Park? You mean that old movie from the 90's? I've heard of that but I can't really get into the old stuff." And Carnosaur will be just a footnote to those internet geeks. And it took a shitload of work and coincidence to even make a blip of an impact like that.

[Anonymous No.18476269]

>>18476140
Whoever wrote that Call of the Crocodile is definitely going to be remembered. That’s cemented in 4chan history.

[Anonymous No.18476289]

>>18476140
>2 books of philosophy
post an excerpt I could use a good laugh

[Anonymous No.18476307]

>>18476269
Absolutely. Reminder to everyone here that if you write a weird enough book- it will meme itself to success.

[Anonymous No.18476312]

>>18476289
I'm the dubs philosophy guy
>>18476269
Nah he won't be.
>>18476241
Honestly, even a footnote doesn't seem likely. Having your name down in a single sentence of history seems to me to be highly unlikely, let alone any writings being maintained.

[Anonymous No.18476335]

>>18476312
>Nah he won't be.
Seething pseud.

[Anonymous No.18476369]

>>18464808
Literally my dream. I still hope it can happen in this life(no).

[Anonymous No.18476382]

>>18464659
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpg8RuN3X4U

[Anonymous No.18476389]

I like to imagine I write a book so profound it causes mass suicides, maybe a 25% mortality rate after reading.

[Anonymous No.18476440]

>>18474999
Based. Yeah Gardner is living proof that OP is wrong.

[Anonymous No.18476442]

>>18476389

[Anonymous No.18476465]

>>18476442
Wtf is this

[Anonymous No.18476473]

>>18476335
This. They are going to have heart attacks when they realize Gardner has spent the past year writing more books and there’s more threads about them than ever lmao

[Anonymous No.18476482]

nothing so grandiose, i just imagine myself meeting people at a party and talking about my love of books and other things I care about because i haven't been to any sort of social gathering in like two years

[Anonymous No.18476488]

>>18476465
a book so profound it causes mass suicides, maybe a 25% mortality rate after reading.

[Anonymous No.18476495]

>>18476488
kek

[Anonymous No.18476523]

>>18476488
>a book so profound it causes mass suicides, maybe a 25% mortality rate after reading.

[Anonymous No.18476538]

>>18476523
That would be Call of the Arcade, retard. That’s practically what happens in the book.

[Anonymous No.18476683]

>>18476312
>Honestly, even a footnote doesn't seem likely.
Now that I think about it, Carnosaur is already a footnote. Totally out of print, I don't think you can even pirate it anywhere

[Anonymous No.18476790]

In any process of creation there are discarded and ignored states between the conception and the finished product. A pithy example is mixing paint. You want to achieve a light green color so you mix blue and yellow. You now have a green color, but it is not a light green color so you are white to reach the desired shade of light green. The original green still exists and its voice cannot be blocked out entirely.

Intrusive thoughts like giving an interview are a consequence of the process. You've assembled the ingredients: pen, free time, life experiences, perceptions, etc. to write a novel. As you wrangle these elements together the piece itself even undergoes transformations that include forgotten and discarded states. None of this is truly waste, it all can become a potential inspiration for thought. Your final intentions don't have any weight or control over the breadth of the products created and the thoughts inspired. It is less a judgement of your own character and more a phenomenon of the process.

[Anonymous No.18476841]

>>18476538
This.

[Anonymous No.18476934]

>>18476312
>dubs philosophy
What's that?

Also: check em

[Anonymous No.18477474]

>>18464659
But I'm not a pseud.

[Anonymous No.18477926]

>>18476934
Does anyone know or am I forgotten?

[Anonymous No.18477933]

>>18465400
>Imagine evaluating jokes on a brazilian futebol cheerleading site.

[Anonymous No.18478006]

I imagine myself as a child prodigy who wins the Fields medal (for solving the Riemann hypothesis) at the age of 16, and who then goes on to work in the sciences, winning a Nobel prize in both physics and chemistry (for unifying quantum mechanics and special relativity). After that, it's the Turing award (for solving the P=NP problem). After basically ending science, I then become a writer who publishes the a trilogy widely regarded as the greatest work of art in history, becomes the most decorated intellectual of all time.

In my spare time I shitpost hot takes on Twitter which make normies seethe because the greatest mind of their time disagrees with all of their views. This initiates a political revolution on a scale fare larger than anything seen before.

[Anonymous No.18478020]

>>18464659
>He imagines himself as a world defying great man who saves the planet, is a genius artist, handsome, saint like, and has a mass following who tragically is assassinated by evil organizations and has the biggest funeral in history while people across the globe mourn his passing
hhahahahaa can you imagine?

[Anonymous No.18478040]

>He imagines escaping to the remotest corner of the earth, first camping then building a (cosy) hut, living off the land, ultimately dying some 40 years later having never seen a soul since leaving society.

[Anonymous No.18478050]

>>18476482
I spent 4 years reading books about Florentine history and architecture, maybe 130 of them. Got obsessed for whatever reason. I started having pathetic fantasies of traveling there(never been) and giving an impromptu tour of the city to cute girls explaining everything, and then getting into a short romantic fling for a week or so before we separate
Well I traveled there and that exact same experience happened. Only time a fantasy came true in my life

[Anonymous No.18478081]

>>18475353
Since learning of how many people aren't even capable of visualization I just assume it's because you can't or it's too much of a mental strain for you.

[Anonymous No.18478129]

>>18464659
>I imagine making a decent bit of money off of Kindle sales and iTunes downloads and Audible sales
>But I
>Haven't started writing anything

[Anonymous No.18478254]

>he imagines fucking the christmas turkey

[Anonymous No.18478263]

>>18464669
I don't, because I don't aspire to write books.
I want to write poetry.

[Anonymous No.18478268]

>fantasize about being a famous author but deny requests for all interviews -- unless paid, of course

[Anonymous No.18478422]

>>18477926
Nobody knew in the first place fag. It's embarrassing you thought anyone would.

[Anonymous No.18478500]

I imagine myself fucking out off this corporation and buy a plot of land to be a farmer somewhere far away, I would dedicate my leisure in reading and writing. Eventually marry a cute 16 year old village girl whose father willingly entrust her to me.

[Anonymous No.18478512]

>>18476442
norman boutin wrote lolita

[Anonymous No.18478529]

>>18464659
Yes.

[Anonymous No.18478813]

>>18464669
I always imagine myself as an old retired dictator living in exile, giving an interview to some stupid femoid journalist and talking like one of those old Wehrmacht guys when justifying their warcrimes.

[Anonymous No.18478948]

>>18478813
Based.

I imagine couping some African shit-hole and turning it into a economic and military powerhouse; inviting foreign journalists and giving them interviews: half my responses being perfectly lucid and intelligent analyses of current and historical events; the other half being complete psychopathic nonsense.

Then I'd resign my dictatorship and retire to some leafy English shire. People (and cameramen) would, on occasion, pass by, whispering, pointing: "you know who THAT is right?"

[Anonymous No.18478971]

>>18467656
>open eyes, run downstairs and pace around kitchen until I calm down
What is this behaviour called? Because I do this as well soon as anything embarrassing comes to mind

[Anonymous No.18479063]

>>18478971
Its called
>opening your eyes, running downstairs and pacing around the kitchen until you calm down

[Anonymous No.18479066]

>>18478006
>>18478020
>>18478268
>>18478948
lmao I imagine all of these. Also:
>reliving my life and making money off of bitcoin, making bizarrely accurate predictions about the future, and building a secure compound in Northern US or Canada while the world around collapses.
>get cryogenically frozen until I get woken up in the future
>die and wake up into the post-simulation afterlife
>becoming a world class athlete
>going back in time to various places
>self-insert myself into every piece of literature and media
etc.

[Anonymous No.18479096]

>>18479066
>>self-insert myself into every piece of literature and media
Holy shit I gotta try this one

[Anonymous No.18479110]

>>18464659
>>18464662
>>18467656
>>18476053
>>18476140
>>18476241
>>18476482
>>18478268
>He imagines being one of the best writers ever to live, Pushkin of the English language. Highly sought after.
>He imagines being interviewed
>He imagines attending a con/panel with his lesser talented /lit/ gf, supporting her but also answering the inevitable questions/praise

[Anonymous No.18479118]

>>18469027
The dream of all dreams.

[Anonymous No.18479157]

>>18465889
>dreams of an apartment
ngmi

[Anonymous No.18479194]

Jesus, even my fantasies are derivative.

[Anonymous No.18479247]

>>18464659
>real stars not only rehearse their interviews, they script it together with their managers and interviewers
whatever gets the job done, I guess

[Anonymous No.18479309]

>>18479066
>self-insert myself into every piece of literature and media
how does this even work?

[Anonymous No.18479485]

>>18479309
What do you mean? It's just visualizing stuff. I'd either put myself in the shoes of the character, act like myself and run scenarios on how things would play out, or appear as a side character to change the course of events with a little bit of common sense or just to put in my two cents.

[Anonymous No.18479503]

>>18464719
based

[Anonymous No.18479525]

>>18464659
Who does?

[Anonymous No.18479531]

>>18464659
No I want to write a single book and then retire from writing to become a recluse. That's the dream.

[Anonymous No.18479557]

You can’t be a bestselling author anymore as a white male. No publisher will even let you in the door and on top of that the bestseller list is itself rigged

[Anonymous No.18479897]

>>18464659
I used to do that a lot as a child/teenager. Quite pathetic in retrospective, that desire for social status and being desired

[Anonymous No.18479917]

>>18478050
nice, thanks for sharing

[Anonymous No.18480873]

>>18479557
haha, pathetic.
I dream of playing with my children. seeking fame is for the vain. I just want to have people around me who I love and enjoy.
sometimes I fantasize about killing myself but not before I call her and we have a strained conversation ending in me letting everything out in a great paroxysm. but then I realize I would be dead and could never see her agony so I dismiss the fantasy and go on with my boring daily life