Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.18215820]

me I feel sad and tired and confused and I just want to be left alone, lucky for me I will be for a while.

[Anonymous No.18215835]

I feel like im too dumb for programming languages.

[Anonymous No.18216172]

>>18215820
I can't drink anymore. If I drink rum I just get queasy and I want to self-harm. This sucks. This SUCKS.

[Anonymous No.18216178]

It's hard to stay motivated working in academia when you hate the entire institution of Western academia. But academic work is all I've ever done.

[Anonymous No.18216188]

>>18215820
JUNGLE IS MASSIVE

[Anonymous No.18216207]

i can feel the effects from the vaccine

[Anonymous No.18216210]

>>18215820
Glad things are going well

>>18215835
Just keep doing it, you'll write a lot of garbage and feel bad when you see better code, but eventually you'll get better. You don't get jacked lifting weight for a day, or a week, or a month, or a year. You gotta be in it for the long haul.

>>18216178
Yeah, just keep trudging along until you feel proud of what you're doing again. Take a break if you feel like it's too much, and find something else if you can't keep going. Do you have anyone more junior than you who you could help out? Whenever I felt demotivated working I'd try helping someone newer than me, it'll make you feel like you aren't just spinning your wheels, like you have another conspirator

>>18216172
That sucks

[Anonymous No.18216235]

I used to do music production a few years back, on and off. I was lazy and never paid attention to really hone my skills.
My friend starting making music with discpline for the last 3 months and has already went ahead of me and started earning money(little but still)
I am happy for him but also very fucking angry at myself for not being good at even one thing in my god damn life

[Anonymous No.18216248]

>>18216235
Are you sure that's what you want to do with your life? You were lazy for a reason

[Anonymous No.18216260]

>>18216178
You should quit and go into manual labor. You will probably learn the most important lesson in life, which is to stop complaining about your relative success. I can't wait until your class of scum is in camps to be reeducated.

[Anonymous No.18216265]

>>18216248
I am not sure what I want from life
and I am lazy no matter what I do

[Anonymous No.18216270]

> want to be a moody urban or suburban kid
> be born a redneck and have a redneck youth feeding hay to horses instead

[Anonymous No.18216283]

>>18215820
I want to write a poem for my teacher, I want to confess my love, I don't care about anything anymore.

[Anonymous No.18216312]

I did it anons. I'm a girl's first love

[Anonymous No.18216385]

I don't get christianity. I have an understanding of it that makes some sense to me. it is odd that Paul gets to define the whole thing after the fact, but on the other hand some things Paul writes in the letters make me believe he was legit. I feel like I have a good sense of why he's saying what he's saying about half the time. I'm not even sure what he means by faith in Jesus, which seems to be the central thing.

[Anonymous No.18216405]

>>18215820
I'm not so sure how to feel about the fact that my diary entries from almost two years ago still reflect my chraracter today, it also makes me reconsider my lifestyle.

I wrote self-loathing and negative thoughts to get them out of my mind, yet I still hold them after all this time, now that I'm takin online classes, I realize too that I haven't matured a bit and that I'm still just as lazy.

I'm not sure what I've been waiting for, but I sure have longed for something. Maybe I should take theraphy, but I'm not sure how I feel about throwing money at someone just to ask me how I'm feeling, I know how shit these services are in my country.

[Anonymous No.18216411]

I got cheated on and dumped by my ex gf. When another girl came along and developed a crush on me, it took me months to finally get over my fear and start dating her. She was so loving for the first two months. She would text me every day and want to hang out often. I was very sick for awhile and she visited me every day and brought me food. I finally let myself trust her. But the past few weeks, since I got better, she’s been distancing herself. Texting less, asking for space. She says we’re moving too fast but we go days without talking to each other now. When I ask her if anything is wrong, I just get “you’re overthinking this”. I worry that she’s seen the real me and doesn’t want me anymore. I can’t tell if my ex cheating on me made me insecure or if she is actually losing interest.

[Anonymous No.18216440]

>>18216411
did you open up to your present gf about what happened with your ex? it's possible you're overreacting and she can't understand why

[Anonymous No.18216442]

>>18216385
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJLan-pJzfQ

https://www.youtube.com/c/bibleproject/featured

[Anonymous No.18216448]

>>18216405
I'm the same way. I tried new stuff, but it just didn't work. I could try harder though

[Anonymous No.18216461]

>>18216207
Hold on anon

[Anonymous No.18216469]

>>18216442
yea I watched some of those but they also kind of jump to the conclusion. it's possible I'm retarded. I mean clearly the tree of life is either describing sometihng incomprehensible because it is unseen or because it is metaphysical, you can't just brush through that in a few minutes. I mean do you anon believe the tree of life is God? if not then how is Jesus God?

[Anonymous No.18216494]

>>18216461
Sweating like a pig, tremors, cold flashes and probably atleast 38 celsius. Goodbye /lit/

[Anonymous No.18216519]

>>18216235
Well, shit. I can relate bro. I am 21 now, but started producing at 16, and took it pretty seriously and got contacted a few years after to work with a big producer, but fucked it up along with all my opportunities through indecision and anxiety.
I justified myself at the time by saying that it was okay, that I wanted to perfect my craft while keeping a low profile and build my way towards something completely original, but now I am on the normie college path and barely make music anymore.
One of my old friends has almost 6 million monthly listeners on Spotify, and another kid from my high school has recently worked with Roddy Ricch.
It is probably unfettered cope on my part, but I try to keep in mind that everyone has to follow their own path, and that there is definitely something left unexpressed in me that will eventually find its way out. Regardless of whether I am able to make a career out of music or writing (which has been more fulfilling as of late) I hope it will reveal itself at some point.

[Anonymous No.18216544]

>>18216270
Ever since I read Where the Red Fern Grows as a kid, I always had a fondness for the the whole bucolic rural lifestyle. Grass is greener, maybe?
T. Edgy suburban kid

[Anonymous No.18216555]

Anonymous 05/10/21(Mon)14:58:07 No.18216546▶
What do you think of this fragment, bros?

His father was IRA and his mother was Quebecois, and they had reliquished their mortal coils in the internecine conflagration that ended their conjoined separatist movement, IRA-Q. The appellation he was given by his progenitors was Ray O'Vaque ("Like the battery," he'd elucidate, with an adamantine stare that proscribed any mirth). In his years of incarceration, however, he had earned the sobriquet "Uncle Milty" for his piscine amatory habits.
He had been emancipated from the penitentiary for three weeks, and now his restless peregrinations had conveyed him to this liminal place, seeking compurgation in the permafrost of the hyperborean tundra, which was an apt analogue of the permafrost in his heart. He insinuated himself into the caravansary with nugatory expectations, which were confirmed by the exiguous provisions for comfort. But then the bartender looked up from laving the begrimed bar, his eyes growing luminous as he ejactulated, "Milt!”

[Anonymous No.18216560]

>>18216469
When it comes to something as deep, vast, and complex as God, one doesn't simply have a "thought", think "that makes sense (or not)" and then just move along. These are matters that require serious meditation/contemplation/prayer. I take the Tree of Life type aspects and spend significant time "interacting" with the notions and seeing where and to what they lead me. Those things are not typically expressible in any sort of convenient manner.

[Anonymous No.18216569]

>>18216555
You have a nice, readable voice but it’s way too word-salad-y. Keep the quirks but try to show off less.

[Anonymous No.18216574]

I find it annoying that most back covers of books written in english are only criticism or citations of people speaking about the book and never say anything about the plot or the story, but whatever

[Anonymous No.18216589]

>>18216560
>not typically expressible in any sort of convenient manner
why?

[Anonymous No.18216612]

>>18216589
Seek and experience for yourself and you will see.

[Anonymous No.18216631]

>>18216612
what's your method. do you speak greek or hebrew? do you delve deep into wordings and make textual comparisons? do you have a teacher?

[Anonymous No.18216636]

Jesus Christ. Forget Botox, it's almost like Suze Orman managed to glue her face permanently into a smile. Imagine dating or marrying this bitch, I can only assume she is a psycho in her private life.

[Anonymous No.18216648]

>>18216589
Different anon. I would suggest reading Emerson’s essay Nature. He describes how a concept as vast as God (or the Whole) can be perceived with greater clarity by contemplating the natural world and recognizing your relationship to it (or rather recognizing that you are a part of the Whole).

[Anonymous No.18216653]

>>18216648
that sounds like it would be beneficial.

[Anonymous No.18216660]

>>18216636
american sociopath smile

[Anonymous No.18216681]

>>18216631
I do delve deep into wordings sometimes, comparing the KJV with the ESV and others in parallel, and often particular words in Hebrew or Greek using the breakdowns at the bottom of the parallels on Bible Hub. That also allows you to search for all other uses of the same word throughout the Bible. But the most important aspect is internal, meditations/contemplations/prayer. I might read a certain passage or notion that really catches my "attention" in some key way and then spend time working with it internally, sometimes right there with my eyes closed, sometimes while walking in the yard, sometimes while just doing daily tasks, etc.

[Anonymous No.18216701]

Proven methods for breaking porn addiction?

I don’t need to never watch again but I want to stop watching multiple times per day at least once per day.

[Anonymous No.18216710]

>>18216681
what is the essence of what we are?

[Anonymous No.18216711]

>>18216544
Yeah, I’d say grass is greener but concrete is what it is. You’re better off.

[Anonymous No.18216719]

>>18216701
sparse it out in time. allow yourself to watch once every 2 days, then once every 3 days etc until you break it

[Anonymous No.18216728]

>>18216701
Just quit porn first, worry about masturbation later. Fap to your own fantasies. Develop your imagination. Feels much better in the end too, less guilt.

[Anonymous No.18216734]

>>18216719
Easier said than done. The worst thing about it is that I’m still home alone all the time.

[Anonymous No.18216741]

>>18216710
I don't know. I am not one of those who thinks there must be an easily packagable answer for everything. Mystery is part of the awesomeness of God.

[Anonymous No.18216759]

>>18216741
if you can, how would you describe your belief in Jesus? what does it mean that Jesus is lord? what does it mean that Jesus rules on Gods right hand side?

[Anonymous No.18216795]

Any indians here? Is it as bad as they say there?

[Anonymous No.18216808]

>>18216795
Oh ye it is

[Anonymous No.18216835]

I need a fast way to make money from publishing. Should I just start publishing litRPGs on Royal Road and hustling for commissions?

[Anonymous No.18216854]

> tfw can’t just be 22 again

[Anonymous No.18216859]

What happened?

[Anonymous No.18216884]

>>18216759
That would require *way* too much typing and still never do the job. I think you should consider acquiring an ESV Study Bible, which not only notates most all of the verses, but also features explanatory articles. I am not suggesting to just take their propositions as expanded Gospel, but use them to help stimulate your own contemplations and understandings.

I do not like being in this world. I think this world is terrible. Terrible people control essentially everything. The things that this world holds as valuable I hold as dung. Materialism, wealth, power over others, physical appearances, desires of the flesh, I do not think those things are good investments of self. I feel, deeply, to be living in exile in Babylon. I feel, deeply, that there is a pure realm beyond this world that is ran by a truly righteous king. I consider being part of that kingdom to the best of my ability here on Earth to be a wise investment towards gaining an invite into that kingdom beyond this Earth.

[Anonymous No.18216892]

>>18216854
Alas, if only I could relive my youth as a Yankee whaler.

[Anonymous No.18216913]

A lot of people just try to be edgy and are hiding behind ambiguity and aesthetics leaving the viewer confused while the message could be conveyed in much shorter time. Then most of the time these people aren't even that deep or knowledgeable but since they use the power of beauty, aesthetics and atmospheres the intellectually obsessed viewer assumes some sort of genius insight behind that. Don't fall for that, brothers

[Anonymous No.18216915]

>>18216892
You have it all wrong. I am the 30 (28) year old whaler, always chasing the white whale of youth.

[Anonymous No.18216927]

>>18216701
It has been a challenge but I have been able to control myself to not go on /s/. I stop before comiting the act. like >>18216728 said, if you are to masturbate and with that ejaculate use your imagination. It's more fulfilling.

[Anonymous No.18216928]

>>18216913
Is that an attack on the new beat generation of Melbourne?

[Anonymous No.18216930]

>>18216859
Phase 2

[Anonymous No.18216938]

>>18216884
I may well join you on this path. I have been given circumstances that could afford me time. I also am of the understanding that I live in a world that has no mechanism of its own to rectify it, and that I can not see as going anywhere but further down. I have been on a confused.. a lot of things have happened. I have read scripture from many different traditions. This was likely a mistake, because a step forward in one framework can be futile in another, and so one is immobilised. I sat down and prayed to God for One path, I repeated my request 1000 times and interspersed it with a personal appeal to God laying out my anguish and my worries, and it happened that one of the times I went to ask God without thinking I said "Jesus" instead. So now I suspect my one path must go through him. So I'm learning more, I've read through Acts and most of Romans in the last couple of days and am presently watching intro lectures about the orthodox church. We'll see what happens, God only knows.. but that's where it's at. I thank you for your time and wish you all success in your studies.

[Anonymous No.18217034]

>>18216938
I explored many paths, including pagan, spanning many decades. I had a rather odd sequence of personal events that pointed me back to Christ. It was, for me personally, undeniable, so I just trust that and my own underlying impressions over any particular issues of doubt I run up on. I feel reasonably confident that this is the direction that a definitely real grand intelligence has pointed me towards.

[Anonymous No.18217076]

Im not really a person of faith but nihilism doesnt set me free. Wat do?

[Anonymous No.18217078]

I don’t want to get a job at a law firm.
I want to be my own boss.
But I don’t have the capital for it to sustain my business any longer.
All that work, just to fail.
Maybe this time I’ll actually jump when I work in a sky scraper.
Maybe I’ll actually do it.
Or maybe I’ll just sell my soul.
Become the epitome of what one calls a lawyer.
The sharpest blade.
The beast they sick on the worst cases.
Dead in the eyes, fully loaded.
Without cause or motivation.
Keep myself so busy I cure my alcoholism.
Work myself to death.
Rip out my moral compass.
Become another cog.
Use my reading and knowledge for the argument instead.
Or maybe I’ll just jump.

[Anonymous No.18217081]

>>18217076
*Become* a person of faith.

[Anonymous No.18217084]

>>18217034
I've been following an islamic practice for some time, and I largely chose this path as I thought it rigorous against the modern world, it has its set ways that will not change. I did hold on throughout to Jesus' many criticisms of legalism, which I think all muslims should take very seriously. It's possible more of them do than I think, but there is a culture that more islam = more law, and the method is very much closer to judaism I think. I still practice the basics of Islam, I like them a lot, in a lot of ways I still think that is where I belong, but.. I have some doubts about method that are hard to shake. But I did have what in islam is called an "opening", by which is meant an opening of the veil, and I believe I had some form of metaphysical experience. It made me very certain that God is one and supremely loving. Now I'm really curious about this, if it was something like this that made you certain about Jesus? Because I think this is... people carry their traditions within. Muslims will say that they met Muhammad or Ali, and that these are actually something like metaphysical principles rather than people, not unlike Jesus, I think. I was raised atheist, so I don't have a tradition like that. I was only made certain about God, but that applies to a lot of traditions. I have many times wished that I had had a tradition to become certain of.

[Anonymous No.18217120]

>>18217076
Read Confessions by Augustine.

[Anonymous No.18217167]

>>18217084
No, I experienced an incredible string of "real world" indicators on top of the inner aspects. Some of it spanned decades but then a concentrated string within the string occurred. I also had some profound realizations of the realities of forgiving others so that I can be forgiven, judging not others because the same measure that I use against them will be used against me, and that that will not necessarily be in any easily obvious way (I can judge someone for something and be guilty myself by my own measure even if I do not commit the exact same overt sin).

[Anonymous No.18217175]

>>18217167
that's beautiful.

[Anonymous No.18217209]

>>18217081
How?

[Anonymous No.18217215]

>>18217120
why that book in particular?

[Anonymous No.18217216]

>>18217078
As someone that works retail I find I patently absurd that people are in despair over a job at a law firm. But I guess this is part of the human condition that people can suffer regardless of circumstance.

[Anonymous No.18217241]

>>18217215
The way he says of the degenerate acts that he practiced during his lifetime, and him wanting to be set free form his carnal vices touched me. Though I'm not a practicing Christian (as of now), Augustine's search for meaning is one that is deeply gratifing to experience in his writings. That is why I recomend it.
Or you could just go the Neetch way (which is cringy, but not as bad as one would think)

[Anonymous No.18217285]

>>18216519
>>18216235
Been making music since 15 (started with vocals then went on to do production at 18). I didn't go to college and unironically put in 8-10 hours a day. I'm now 23 with 0 fans, 0 presence, 0 contact with the industry. I don't make stuff that appeals to the 99% of mainstream though overall its pretty poppy in form. Indie music is getting stomped out. Its frustrating how much luck/connections and your willingness to appeal to the most dumb down version of music possible is mostly what translates into money. So even if you guys worked your hardest the success is never guaranteed within any time frame.

[Anonymous No.18217299]

>>18217285
Post a link bro

[Anonymous No.18217312]

>>18217078
I know the feeling. Personally, I’ve been working in finance and accounting a for few years now and I’m just pretty much done. I’ll be quitting this summer. I have no idea what I’m going to do afterwards but I just don’t want to do this anymore. If this will be my life, I’m not interested.

[Anonymous No.18217326]

>>18217285
you have to move to brooklyn and find some way to present your shit as a live show even if it means posing on stage with an akai controller while your prerecorded bleeps and bloops play in the background.

[Anonymous No.18217339]

For the last month I just can’t focus, have no energy. What the hell is up?

[Anonymous No.18217355]

I am scared that I will never make my parents proud, both are highly educated lawyers and my dad has his own company now and brings in the big bucks. My brother is a failure so all the focus is on me saving my familys honor. I am currently studying economic sustainability and when I graduate I will work as a sustainability consultant at my dads firm. I got my whole life laid out for me, I am handsome, smart, wealthy, charming. I am the luckiest guy alive. However there is something in the background, a sense of hopelessness, perhaps its the fear of mortality and chaos. Everything around me feels fake, money is not real, everyone is just pretending, there is no substance in anything, all is just formality, manners and pre-calculated outcomes.

[Anonymous No.18217361]

>>18217209
I do not claim to have any sort of definitive or authoritative answer, but as best I can tell, *to the best degree you are able*, earnestly try, with everything you can muster, to seek connection with God. Part of this "best able" means not putting too much supposition on what that should "look like" or what kind of "results" it should achieve. Do not judge your own faith ("I do not have any/much/etc."), just make the most of whatever you have, even if it is essentially nothing. Spend time alone in prayer, simply making the effort to commune. Keep a watch for "signs" in your regular daily life, they can come from *anywhere*. If any should occur, acknowledge it. If it's little, just say something like "I see that, thank you". It may not be enough to convince you yet, but just acknowledge it and be grateful, and wait for more/better. I assume that such gifts are not given when they are going to be wasted, and one must prove faithful in little to be given much. Then, the more you get shown, start looking for ways to pay the benefit you feel from it forward to others in any way that you can find to.

[Anonymous No.18217388]

>>18217285
>I don't make stuff that appeals to the 99% of mainstream though overall it's pretty poppy in form. Indie music is getting stomped out.
No, it's not. The only problem is that you're not making 'mainstream music' (good music). There are reasons why some people succeed and others do not. People think of Cavetown when they hear of indie music.

[Anonymous No.18217389]

>>18217299
https://soundcloud.com/felixisofficial/swallow-u?in=felixisofficial/sets/rage-dolls

[Anonymous No.18217397]

>>18217216
I used to wait tables. My body was broken and I was drenched in sweat and hated almost every person I waited on, but that job was 10x more enjoyable than working in a bad office environment. You waste away in your own mind, letting. Your body get fatter and fatter, surrounded by petty awful people, doing work that brings no one joy and makes the world a worse place. I don’t want to go back to that, but I think I have to.

[Anonymous No.18217400]

>>18217389
>https://soundcloud.com/felixisofficial/swallow-u?in=felixisofficial/sets/rage-dolls
I swear to God I bet you were doing electro when writing >>18217388
I listened to your stuff and it wasn't to my tastes but you should keep going if you like what you do, anon.

[Anonymous No.18217405]

>>18217355
Books similar to the life of this anon? I guess American Psyco

[Anonymous No.18217408]

>>18217361
Thank you anon for your words from the depths of the heart.

[Anonymous No.18217427]

>>18217388
>https://soundcloud.com/felixisofficial/swallow-u?in=felixisofficial/sets/rage-dolls
Also girl in red. That's the kind of stuff I was personally into when I listened to indie music.

I feel so bad anons, I need to work on some stuff and can't bring myself to do it. I think I'm done with college.

[Anonymous No.18217435]

>>18217400
yeah thanks. my new stuff i basically abandoned this attempted sound and its just bass and loud vocals aka all of 'cool' music now. also only one section per song and no don't forget to make the vocals really loud!
>>18217388
yes it has nothing to do with randomness and timing or connections. and yes if its popular its good. normie brain

[Anonymous No.18217440]

How does a nibba cope with having a shlong like Michelangelo's David?

[Anonymous No.18217443]

I feel like there's going to spawn a new religion soon. The conditions are ripe for it. What is it going to be like?

[Anonymous No.18217479]

Anyone else feel like this last year’s just been a mental void. Someone said to me “summer is coming” and I was almost shocked that mentally they’re still even able to keep track of time.

[Anonymous No.18217483]

>>18217355
You’re going to be miserable if you live solely for the acceptance of your parents. It’s your life, not theirs.

[Anonymous No.18217484]

>>18217408
I will clarify that when I say "I do not claim to have any sort of definitive or authoritative answer, but as best I can tell", I mean that in the Catholic/Orthodox type "official" sort. There are many people who will essentially quote canned responses to that kind of thing, from one of the various phrases that have been worked out by whatever Church™ or group. My response comes from my own personal, direct experience.

I do wish that there were an official Church that I could trust and just turn myself over to for authority and guidance, it would be very comforting. I mean, were God himself to be the legitimate guider of it like the Catholics and Orthodox claim of theirs, and that every bit of their dogma and rule could be trusted without reservation, and their answers to things could be considered as essentially led by the Holy Spirit and all that kind of thing.

But the truth is, I do not. The Holy Bible clearly states some things that they show signs of being at odds with, and there are many significant aspects (Mary worship, praying to Mary and "saints", etc.) that are glaring red flags of them having been hijacked by Satanic forces very early on (no later than 4th century), just as Paul warned in Acts that after he was gone there would be wolves waiting to mislead them.

So, I just have to do what the Holy Bible says and work out my own faith in fear and trembling, and do not claim to have authority beyond myself and what I have determined and experienced.

[Anonymous No.18217527]

>>18217435
>yes it has nothing to do with randomness and timing or connections. and yes if its popular its good. normie brain
It's popular because it's good, most of the indie stuff I listened to back in the days were made by 2k views musicians and now they're making millions of views. You can always whine about luck, it won't work out if it doesn't resonate with anyone because that's literally the point of music.

[Anonymous No.18217634]

>>18217527
your willingness to state that if its popular its good makes me think you don't understand how great the social effect is on our aesthetic opinions. and yeah its whining cus I'm the loser. anyway read someone like Taleb and acquaint yourself with the laws of probabilities and the role of randomness in our lives. ill keep making my music that no one listens to until people will listen to it, thats all.

[Anonymous No.18217684]

>>18217355
Can you convince your mom and dad to hire me?

[Anonymous No.18217853]

I can't stop going to onlyfan girls and spending money on them. Specifically buying custom cock rates. I have a folder of about 30 different women rating my dick, with the only instruction given to them by me being "be brutally honest". Not one has given me a rating above a 5.

I'm 4x4 inches and I am yet to find a woman who can see past my fatal flaw. I purposely set out to have a wide net. Alts, goths, black, white, asian, hispanic, pretty, ugly, average, model-like, etc. All these different amateur women from different walks of life, all with different experiences. All of them, looking at me and saying "no" with the unanimous decision of "gross".

[Anonymous No.18217875]

>>18217389
pretty good

[Anonymous No.18217919]

>>18215820
I can't shake this feeling that wisdom I've gained from experiencing media is not my own and I need to find these thoughts out for myself as am just emulating the wisdom and knowledge of others.

[Anonymous No.18217947]

>>18217853
Onlyfan girls are deranged though. Stop living through a screen.

[Anonymous No.18217954]

>>18215820
Well after dropping out i got very bitter and pessimistic, started CS at another college dropped out this year stopped attending classes mid 2020.
For some shitty reason i feel constantly shit, not depressed just fucking feel shit. Luckily i will not be a Neet, got a nice IT job last year, and yet still for some fucking reason i seem not to be able to do, i mean just sit and learn or read, feel tired of life man.
Bukowski is in a weird way motivating and yet still every time i listen to one of his poems or interviews i get reminded of the time he described his hot steamy turd.
Don't think you'r dumb anon >>18215835 i learned basics and shit at 13/14 but never got anything more, i'am 24 now, and still living as a stupid script kiddy. My dude i am so tired of myself, even went to a psychiatrist for it, maybe i am a shit person you know.

[Anonymous No.18217961]

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mve5025IFaQ
>tfw u will never be a juvenile delinquent living in 1990s los angeles

[Anonymous No.18217970]

>>18215820
i hit peace today and i called it nirvana
it wasnt nirvana
but it felt so good i called it what it was not
it felt so good
i sat next to an ace of diamonds
and the people passed me on the street
and it was nice

[Anonymous No.18217975]

>>18217954
forgot, started reading ishmal again since the last time i just dropped it at page 12 or so, seems interesting, what you think?

[Anonymous No.18217978]

earlier today i killed a spider on my wall
now in the same spot there is a fly
god must be doing this on purpose

[Anonymous No.18217979]

>>18215835
do some of the easy tier problems on hackerrank to build some confidence, then read other people's open source code. programming languages aren't that important, they all sort of converge on the same feature set given enough time, what's important is how you design or "architect" the software. also don't let venture capitalists who haven't written code since the 90s try to meme you into using some obscure functional shit because some class they took at berkeley in 1994 blew their mind

[Anonymous No.18218003]

>>18217978
I spare the spiders and can sleep near them
I would rather have 2 spiders
Than 1 mosquito

[Anonymous No.18218009]

>>18217978
>kill the fly nearest eating creature
>blame a supernatural being when flies are no longer being eaten

[Anonymous No.18218017]

>>18218009
i am going to eat the fly

[Anonymous No.18218180]

Young people are clearly lost, man. Clearly lost.

[Anonymous No.18218195]

>>18218180
Everyone, essentially, regardless of age.

[Anonymous No.18218202]

>>18217299
This (>>18216519) poster:

https://soundcloud.com/j_oo_n_ho/blz-beat

https://soundcloud.com/j_oo_n_ho/bomin

[Anonymous No.18218207]

>>18218195
I don't even know what to say no more, man.

[Anonymous No.18218226]

>>18218207
I start with Psalm 23 and Matthew 6:9-13.

[Anonymous No.18218227]

>>18217975
I liked this book but it's been a long time since I read it.

[Anonymous No.18218332]

>>18218202
Actually not bad my man

[Anonymous No.18218459]

>>18215820
I'm seriously considering becoming an "addict" again. I've been clean for eight years, and I really feel that in that time I've realized there is never going to be anything better for me. I'm too fucking old to have kids and raise a family, I had the career and was fucked out of it by people who just wanted nothing but to see me fail. There's literally no reason for me to not get back on some dope and just enjoy my life, fucking my way into VD, and never having to adhere to a schedule again. My dealer is literally at my fingertips, and she is always happy to make a sale, could probably even get laid tonight.

[Anonymous No.18218475]

>>18218332
Thanks. I made both almost 2 years ago, and have done almost nothing since then, but I am trying to slowly get back into it.

[Anonymous No.18218485]

>>18218459
Please don't do it man. You've only got one chance at life- choosing the drugs over life ain't a life at all. Like a falling object, you've got potential energy until you hit the ground. Do you have any hobbies or interests to keep you busy?

[Anonymous No.18218499]

>>18216795
You mean about the corona? Yeah, probably worse too given the govt statistics aren't exactly accurate. In general? Yeah.

[Anonymous No.18218517]

reposted from another thread:
I want to stop living like this but I keep getting in these maddening mental loops of attempting to consciously arrive at the psychological base of my decisions, failing to discern what "lies beneath the surface of the ocean", so to speak, to find this core "first mover", becoming infuriated at having to consciously live on the flotsam and so forth which rises to the surface of this "ocean", and again maddeningly questioning and trying to ascertain my "free agency" in this process, which I of course immediately recognize is a problem of extraordinary complexity well outside the limitations of my intelligence, and upon hitting this wall I pound against it and scream and lash myself to no end and go into a state of spiteful paralysis for days. It's been going on like this for 4 years now. What do I do? Any books for this?

[Anonymous No.18218550]

>>18217853
4x4 inches?

Is your dick a plank of wood?

[Anonymous No.18218584]

>>18217947
Onlyfans houses the most basic of women to the most extreme. From my subjects of about 30, not one found it nice? That's an odd set of continuous coincidences
>>18218550
Lmao, I meant 4inch long and 4inch girth

[Anonymous No.18218607]

I feel euphoric. Not because of some phony tread, but my own godly circle jerk in my head.

[Anonymous No.18218682]

>>18218459
Same her actually but for me it’s benzos. It’s been maybe 2 or 3 years. I have an appointment with my doctor coming up just so I can lie and tell him I want a script. I was never adjudicated or anything so I should be able to get it.

[Anonymous No.18218695]

Do you think if I pray hard enough God will let me wake up as a 19 year old again? There’s some things I need to fix before I die.

[Anonymous No.18218717]

my brother won't come out of his fucking room
nigger's been on his computer for 2 days straight

[Anonymous No.18218721]

>>18218459
yeah i feel you, it's like if you screw up anywhere between 15-25 its basically over, i'm too paranoid about getting pinched to do anything illegal but as soon as i can walk into a dispensary and buy some weed i'm def going back to smoking at least since its legal now

[Anonymous No.18218741]

damn i'm getting a headache, luckily it's not one of those total skull migraines that make you nauseous just a sharp pain like a spike went in the side of my head

[Anonymous No.18218758]

How the fuck can so many people enjoy vidya into their late 20's/early 30's. I'm trying to still find them fun but I'm struggling. Outside of very specific kinds of games I get bored in like an hour.

[Anonymous No.18218762]

I was going to masturbate but I got a sudden nosebleed and now I feel like shit.

[Anonymous No.18218770]

>>18215820
At the fork of two roads, I always take the beaten path. For once, just once in my life, I want the courage to take the road less traveled, and damn everyone who sneers at me for it.

I’ve always taken the path of least resistance, it’s gotten me to an okay place, but maybe not where I’m supposed to be.

[Anonymous No.18218773]

>>18218762
The LORD spake unto (You)

[Anonymous No.18218782]

The primal forces come out at night and they show a natural law. Sometimes I reminisce on a night out and grasp the small unseen details that reveal the power of an individual in a group to direct others. Some people are meant to command and their will is shown in the hidden corners of what the night becomes. I often reveal to them their power as I observe them throughout the night like a sort of court jester or detached observer does. There's a little comfort and a little anxiety in becoming known I'm sure.

[Anonymous No.18218784]

>>18218758
vidya is for children

[Anonymous No.18218817]

>>18218784
Retarded children at that.

[Anonymous No.18218819]

>>18216270
Can we switch places?

[Anonymous No.18218820]

>>18218782

[Anonymous No.18218823]

>>18218758
Nothing better to do and its an interactive constant dopamine hit.

[Anonymous No.18218860]

>>18218485
>man
You'd just tell me to kill myself if I asked you not to call me that, so get fucked. I've tried every possible outcome, I've had many long term relationships, I've done the hobbies. Nothing cuts it without real purpose. I'm not suicidal, but I'm done trying to find that purpose, it's time to just go back to enjoying life. Hope there's hope for you, but I'm just going to live for the moment. Already texted my boss and told him I quit, we'll see where it goes from here.

[Anonymous No.18218927]

how do I know if the adderall is working?

[Anonymous No.18218982]

I cannot find a context where I fit into society in a way where I am fulfilled and society is fulfilled with me, it asks too much and I don't want to give any of it not even a little shred. Any kind of contractual obligation or formality is like heresy to my brain, I am so sick of trying to reform myself into something useful or even make some kind of definition of self that I have to maintain for however long. It's really only needed if you're regularly interacting with the same people anyways otherwise you can just be whatever to strangers, I do not mind someone calling me by the wrong name. I just want to walk around the world forever and feel no pain never having to stay anywhere for more than a day at most and nobody will stop me along the way. I won't go into work tomorrow I will probably take a walk to the bridge but will be too scared to jump off I'm thinking of cracking open the whiskey bottle and forgetting this cringe edgelord but then tomorrow it will hurt.

[Anonymous No.18219000]

>>18218982
Are you me?
I'm thinking of saving for a while and then live in my car for a few years and see how it goes from there

[Anonymous No.18219032]

>>18218860
>You'd just tell me to kill myself
Nah, I wouldn't. It seems to me like you're going through a fucking tough time, I wish you would reach out to someone close, tell em that you're going through this. I'm sorry that I can't be there for you in person, but I think if you considered giving volunteering a shot, it might do some good. I'm thinking about doing it too because it seems better than just sitting at home and fapping. But cmon 8 years is a fucking long time, a lot of strong neural pathways developed, a lot of hard work on your part, please don't do it please. Just sleep on it and see if you feel better, please anon.

[Anonymous No.18219034]

>>18219000
Maybe but I can't stand working long enough to save a reasonable amount. I'll just take what I have and go until I can't. Leaving everything behind is very alluring

[Anonymous No.18219049]

Am I being ignored by my friends, or is Snapchat just acting up?

[Anonymous No.18219086]

>>18219034
do what u gotta do but do it good and stay positive. it's all love

[Anonymous No.18219096]

i wonder how well the bank robbery tactic in beyond the pines would work...

[Anonymous No.18219098]

>>18219034
>Leaving everything behind is very alluring
It is

If you have something to look forward to it might make more bearable.
Also, I feel like hanging out with my bros is keeping me sane. I recently realized that human connections are so valuable

[Anonymous No.18219211]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sv0RD4CQ1zs

[Anonymous No.18219239]

dude i just did laundry and then went to cook sth in the stove and it spewed plastic smelling smoke all over my fresh out of the laundry sweats, what the fuck

[Anonymous No.18219244]

how do I motivate myself to start reading again? aware that you get this bs question quite often but idk my mind is kinda fried rn

[Anonymous No.18219248]

It feels pretty good to piss on your own balls.

[Anonymous No.18219250]

>>18219239
haha get fucked smelly

[Anonymous No.18219266]

>>18218758
Not speaking for myself but my senior who's in his early 30s who does programming as a job plays Destiny 2 rigorously. He said it's just his way to relax during down times. i think he has about 4000 hours into it now.

[Anonymous No.18219270]

I just want a skill that I am good at but I don't know which one to pick up

[Anonymous No.18219291]

>>18219270
this

[Anonymous No.18219296]

>>18219244
for me sometimes i have to grab a book i bought a long time ago and didn't really think about and just jump into it before i have time to doubt it. like right now, i have a copy of trotsky's autobiography that's tempting me, i bought it like 15 years ago in a long gone used bookstore in manhattan, and i'm not even into marxism anymore, but it just seems comfy right about now, but really what will happen is i'll open the box, see some other shit i don't even remember, and read that instead, but at least i'll be reading something. all the stuff on my table by my bed is just not calling me right now.

[Anonymous No.18219344]

I keep playing FTL even though it sucks

[Anonymous No.18219362]

any zoomer in here noticed the trend of people taking pictures from a low angle and the bottom of their shoes being visible in the picture.

[Anonymous No.18219398]

Its so beautiful lads. It's the simulacra of building something. I love it.

[Anonymous No.18219417]

>there are 9000 posts on /lit/ a day
>there are 63,000 posts on /lit/ a week
>there are 270,000 posts on /lit/ a month
>there are 3,285,000 posts on /lit/ a year

[Anonymous No.18219418]

Today a doctor who works in my office told me my mind is sexy. For hours I imagined her asking me to kiss her lips.

[Anonymous No.18219426]

How removed should my protagonist be from me? What degree of difference is correct so that others won't say "pathetic self inserter scum", my actual self insert is a woman that only has personality in common yet I might base characters from warping some ideas abot me or opinions. Doing both a short story and a comic and well, I just noticed that while there are some differences someone could easily say "self insert", cunt is going to mock me, now I have to change a lot of things about them but whatever who cares I'll drop this idea for now and work on what? I've got a massive creative block, what do?
I'm not writing a full on power fantasy, this guy is a sniveling pathetic piece of shit. Advice bros?
Some authors and other artists are very removed from it, so it's normal and then there's Dante and friends, no one gives him any shit for literally making up a waifu and sending anyone who was mean to hin to hell, right?

[Anonymous No.18219432]

>>18219426
So far as I have noticed, great artists never talk solely about themselves, but give an honest indulgence into the best of their enemies,

[Anonymous No.18219452]

Saw multiple people within my particular sphere of social media today actively disparaging something that I find extremely erotic, and even consider a major point of my sexuality. It was kind of weird.

[Anonymous No.18219454]

>>18215820
u

[Anonymous No.18219461]

>mfw stuck working in kitchens again
>very difficult on the body
>long hours, minimum wage
>all the other employees around me in better positions are incompetent and even downright dangerous
>they show up to work drunk, or not at all
>crash the company car
>still working
>feel like just getting drunk before every shift so I can at least have fun

[Anonymous No.18219466]

>>18219452
>having social media

[Anonymous No.18219472]

>>18219452
What was it?

[Anonymous No.18219476]

Rights and laws can't be substantiated without effective threat of force and almost all public and even academic discourse does not recognise this explicitly as axiom, while relying upon it completely. All policy and management discourse that doesn't recognise this is invalid

[Anonymous No.18219480]

I hate the word "reluctant" because I think it should mean the opposite of what it really does mean. Whenever I come across this word in a text I have to actively interpret it against my instinct.

[Anonymous No.18219481]

>>18219476
Correct.
t.
lawyer

[Anonymous No.18219487]

>>18219476
what academic discourse on the subject have you been following? the weberian definition is common currency in political science and sociology.

[Anonymous No.18219515]

>>18216385
Pete defining Christianity after Jesus is the equivalent of Deng defining communism after Marx

[Anonymous No.18219521]

>>18219487
I'm a science pleb mad about researchers being tasked to make policy recommendations to powerless management bodies that will be watered down, never be substantiated and will require a decade long campaign of retard infographic production

[Anonymous No.18219544]

>>18219521
You should read the book Food Politics for a very clear and recent showing of that specifically at work. It's pretty good.

[Anonymous No.18219552]

>>18219452
pedo?

[Anonymous No.18219568]

>>18219552
That's a good sign to kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.18219586]

>>18217440
Find a Viet gf with a small bussy

[Anonymous No.18219598]

>>18217440
You've been assigned to leave the rest of us alone. Watch porn.

[Anonymous No.18219599]

I spent most of my 20's being unproductive, in dead end relationships and mostly aimless. I'm nearing 30 and finally found my path... It's going to be a long uphill battle until I can start fulfilling some of my lifelong goals.

[Anonymous No.18219603]

>>18219472
Fat girls. Not one but multiple people today talking about how weird they think it is to see fit, attractive guys dating fat girls, and how they couldn't figure it out.

I'm a pretty hardcore fatfag, albeit one who hides my power level, so I largely did not say anything. I understand it's still a pretty taboo fetish, even given how many fat fucks are in America these days. But all my time spent on chans has gotten me accustomed to being around fellow perverts, people who, if they don't share my fetish, are at least somewhat familiar with it and can take it in stride. Getting confronted with the overpowering normalfaggotry of the friends I have in other spheres of the internet was kind of jarring.

[Anonymous No.18219657]

>>18219417
All me

[Anonymous No.18219659]

>>18219244
Motivation is a myth.
Dedication is the key.
Lay one brick every day, One day you will see the palace you built.

[Anonymous No.18219683]

I have no girl to fantasize about while fapping, and I personally know a lot of them. It's that they all feel like out of reach. Do you know this feel?

[Anonymous No.18219766]

red

[Anonymous No.18219769]

Take it whatehver, on those rs\ise, you youre bby on a saturday night. Take it On gona sha La La LAlaLa La. Sha a:ala:/ . Sha aLshals Jersoye gIRl. Shing Sha hala Shals ShAS sshA Sha!la! Shsila Im in love in lovve with ewith a Jerdey girl@

[Anonymous No.18219771]

a certain red haired girl

[Anonymous No.18219887]

that certain female

[Anonymous No.18219912]

I tried to read Starship Troopers, but dropped it before the end, despite it being a very thin book. It's extremely bland and poorly written. Cardboard characters, endless jerking off about how mathematically correct the morals are, bla bla bla, who gives a shit. I think the fanbase are mostly rightoids who don't don't read books and want someone to tell them what they believe. The book was so bad it put me off reading Heinlein completely.

It's not even that I disagree, it was just all very uninteresting. It's like those ancient Romans who wanked each other off about how virtuous their ancestors were, even though their ancestors were exactly as degenerate and retarded as they are, except in this case it's projected into the future, but that doesn't make it any less cringy.

I don't understand the praise for this book, it's incredibly tedious and empty.

[Anonymous No.18220122]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3wcrmOrtVI

[Anonymous No.18220198]

The Sinophobia of Americans and Anglos is very funny to me, especially to the point they extend sympathies for Taiwan and the Uyghurs as if they understand them in any other way besides being "victims". It's like they're being manipulated by CIA psyops and sensationalist twitter posts, and don't even realize it.

[Anonymous No.18220345]

>write entire outline
>feel like the story is complete
>lose motivation to continue
I should go free style from now on.

[Anonymous No.18220354]

I like this cover picture

[Anonymous No.18220361]

>>18216178
Same... academics are such pathetic people.

[Anonymous No.18220368]

>>18216210
>Yeah, just keep trudging along until you feel proud of what you're doing again.
this is retarded cope. are you a liberal? a faggot too maybe?

[Anonymous No.18220370]

>>18220198
It is not entirely unfounded. I work a lot with Chinese and they are like aliens. Fundamentally different and fairly incompatible culture.

[Anonymous No.18220446]

some weeks suck

[Anonymous No.18220505]

>>18219912
Other Heinlein books are better but he never truly stops jerking himself off

>>18217389
Work on your sound design, man. These synths sound terrible. You were going on about how people only listen to mainstream stuff, but to my ears this is just an amateur version of mainstream music.

>>18218202
Not bad, but not very memorable.

[Anonymous No.18220508]

>>18219515
elaborate

[Anonymous No.18220533]

>>18220446
I woke up on Monday morning filled with dread. I have a bad, bad feeling about things.

[Anonymous No.18220583]

>>18219912
Its a shit book
>>18220370
Asia in general

[Anonymous No.18220599]

>>18220370
In what way. I've been to China and found the people to be pretty similar to the people I know back home. But I didn't spend enough time there to really get to know anyone.

[Anonymous No.18220698]

I don’t really have that much confidence to do what I actually want to do and I think the handful of people I have around me don’t either.

[Anonymous No.18220755]

paranoia is sending me crazy... just a few more days then my mind can rest easy

[Anonymous No.18220759]

>>18220599
Hard to articulate coherently, but there are certain things in terms of lifestyle, how authority is treated, solidarity, philosophical questions, where you just realize you are talking to a fundamentally different person. There are just so many little oddities in casual talk. Sometimes I felt like talking to an automation. Asian collectivism is not just a meme.
I do not think just travelling across Asia does give you the whole picture unless you have lived there for a longer time. Those connections are always superficial and you rarely dig deep. I have had many Chinese room mates and coworkers over the years and I never managed to truly connect with Chinese from the mainland as a Westerner. I did not have this problem with anyone raised in a Western nation or from Hong Kong though. And I am not the only one, when I was at university (UBC, university of a billion Chinese), this was a common theme. So I am not surprised about the animosity. This bridge is hard to cross.

[Anonymous No.18220794]

I'm not really into reading at the moment, but I managed to carry myself through a few pages of No Longer Human, which I enjoyed. I kinda just want to read a philosopher who's based. I don't really care who they are or what they're talking about.

[Anonymous No.18220974]

24 hours later and i still feel like shit after the jab.

[Anonymous No.18221060]

>>18215820
I am fucking disguted by being on a payroll of a big company that won't allow me to climb to the top of the pyramid
The 9 to 5 thing is a fucking trap
Nobody should do this
I wanna have shitload of money without being a slave to some company
I want to see the world
see places
stop wasting my time on social media or with people i don't really like
learn new languages
get more shredded
mark my time
create things so i could be remembered
not being a fucking slave

[Anonymous No.18221077]

>>18221060
>I wanna have shitload of money without being a slave to some company
and a pony too!

[Anonymous No.18221088]

>>18220974
I’m on day 4. I still feel shitty but not as shitty.

[Anonymous No.18221110]

>>18219659
Like what you wrote anon

[Anonymous No.18221114]

I found Christ and I'm happy.

[Anonymous No.18221129]

How often do you think men become gay after years of being unable to get pussy?

[Anonymous No.18221134]

>>18221129
Just look at prisons

[Anonymous No.18221145]

>>18221077
lmao so you think revenue = salary? Poor man

[Anonymous No.18221160]

>>18221134
Prison gay = gay

[Anonymous No.18221172]

>>18221160
Wrong, it's the same relation as between vegetarian and herbivore

[Anonymous No.18221182]

>>18221172
You mean zoophilia?

[Anonymous No.18221191]

>>18221182
i meant poltardophobia

[Anonymous No.18221200]

>>18219120
Never respond to my posts ever again, tranny.

[Anonymous No.18221261]

>>18221200
What was going on in the mind of the spammer there?

[Anonymous No.18221272]

How do you develop your taste for writers?

[Anonymous No.18221286]

>>18221261
He must have been saging all his posts since the thread wasn't bumped at all. The coomer knew what he was doing, he spoilered the NSFW shit to avoid mod attenton.

[Anonymous No.18221337]

>>18221191
not from poltardland, it hurts to be assimilated with such people

[Anonymous No.18221528]

So, um, did anyone manage to save that pic of a busty bound latex blonde from the thread that got jannied yesterday?

[Anonymous No.18221553]

i think i have to shit and sometimes i feel sad that nobody responds to my posts on 4chan which is a dumb feeling.
i also want to be left alone in real life and i cannot keep myself 'perfect', i sin so much and i am a hypocrite and don't know how to love.
lord have mercy desu

[Anonymous No.18221575]

>>18221553
I respond
Now go socialise and stop giving a fuck of what other people think, nobody's perfect

[Anonymous No.18221609]

Even though I'm young, I feel as if life was passing me by. I'm being left behind in everything, I fail at everything I try, while others succeed.
I'm becoming more bitter and resentful each, I'm wasting my life away in dreams of lost glories, thinking about how things could be different had I acted in a different way at some point, how if certain events had not happened things would have gone much better, feeling guilty for not having done things the right way, and of course, feeling bitter because other succeeded where I failed, thinking "That should have been me, that could have been me".

[Anonymous No.18221648]

I know that i should move out of parents place, get a job and start living my own life but i dont really want to. New workplace, workmates and the random factor of roommates gives so much stress that i give up on even considering it. I keep waiting for an inspiration or a miracle to breathe some life into me as i dont feel confident to deal with anything that life could throw to me. I've always had little to none idea what i want to do with my life. I had to pick the lesser evil out of two but never what i want. Here comes the funny thing - i dont for others to choose a path for me but i cant think of anything by myself. All my efforts throughout the years can be described as a student who does anything except study before the exam. I honestly dont know what to do and the clock is ticking. Thank you for reading my blog.

[Anonymous No.18221651]

>>18221609
Literally me, I also fantasize about performing acts of violence.

[Anonymous No.18221655]

I would be gay if I thought it would make me a better writer.

[Anonymous No.18221661]

School's over
I've recently decided reading (books) to be my hobby
Not really good with words, but I'm working on it.
I read in daytime then write some things I've learned afterwards,
And I spend the night by watching some cool anime
Pretty comfy, but this won't last long
I need to get a job soon

[Anonymous No.18221694]

>>18221129
I went some very long stretches without and never once had a gay thought in the least.

[Anonymous No.18221722]

>>18221648
I think being honest and admitting that there are things you want to have or to happen in your life takes courage. You like the safety that comes with being indecisive and fear being honest with yourself (or that's just what I'm doing right now)

[Anonymous No.18221778]

>>18221722
>fear being honest with yourself
in what way?

[Anonymous No.18221927]

I'll be 30 in less than a month and I feel like I'm living an unfulfilled life. Have gone through my entire life accomplishing nothing although I have a decent amount of money from smart investments. Dropped out of college, never cultivated a skill, have no idea what I like, when I get an inkling of something I would be interested in, I worry about all the other things I'm not doing and can't commit to anything. Having money grants me comfort but it still doesn't help me figure myself out.

[Anonymous No.18221977]

Lately I can't help but feel that self-improvement is a cult, especially when it gets hardcore. So many people are putting themselves on the rack to eke out the tiniest gains in whatever they think will their life better. And sometimes you hear Silicon Valley entrepreneurial guys like Tony Hsieh literally dying in their pursuit of perfection.

Then I see so many people killing themselves over and over again on psychedelics just to see God for ten minutes. And for what benefit? What have they brought back? Has anyone ever made the world better from this?

I don't want to have to do all this shit. I just want to be happy.

[Anonymous No.18221984]

>>18220505
yeah i agree it is mainstream because i know I'm consciously making it more mainstream with each iteration. I was only going on about mainstream music because its annoying that i have to go thru this process of adjusting my taste because 80% of music listeners can't even pick out a hi hat from the backdrop of music and require only a certain type of mix for it to be enjoyable to them. as for shitting on my SD, sure the mix is trash but ill only take the critique if you post your music.

[Anonymous No.18222031]

>>18215820
I’m currently questioning the “should”’s in my life. Like I should buy a car, I should buy a home, I should do this, do that, etc. I want to live my life as authentically as possible from this moment, and frankly up until this year I have always taken the path of least resistance. I’ve always done something because other people said I should, and it’s a relatively easy decision to accept and make so I did it. I rarely questioned things that seemed so obvious. Not anymore, I’m going to question everything and anything.

The beginning of that is to not purchase a car, their is public transportation around me, I own a nice bike, every where I need to go is within a 10 mile radius, there is no reason other then convenience that I should need a car. This will save me money, allow me to pay off my student debt and set me a free man sooner then if I would double my debt with a vehicle.

I am worried about a few things, I’m worried about what if I meet a girl, and I obviously can’t pick her up to go out. I’m worried about what my friends and parents will think. I’m worried about how annoying things will be when I mistime something and don’t have a car to quick fix it. I’m worried about the general inconvenience.

But I’m excited about a few things, I’m excited that I’m making a decision that is in line with my values and what I find important, lowering my effect on the environment, saving money on a purchase that I don’t deem worth the life hours. I’m excited about the lack of debt coming into my life, I’m excited about the freedom that brings. Most of all I’m excited for once in my life to take the road less traveled, and opening up to a new experience. Maybe this isn’t a deep a decision as I’m making it in the grand scheme, but for me this is a huge diversion from the norm.

[Anonymous No.18222101]

I'm trying fasting ramadan. I started late so I'm pretty much exactly half-way through. I think it's negatively affecting my productivity with uni. I have a legit reason not to fast, even within the islamic framework (I certainly have a case that I should not fast for health-reasons), but I chose to start a fast because something huge happened in my life and I felt I needed a more concrete way to manifest my religiosity. That and I thought religion would undoubtedly become the centerpiece of my life in a new way. Maybe those things are still true. The idea was that I could basically sack uni for the fast. That's probably still true to be honest, but it would be a significant consequence.. I gotta consider how to proceed.

[Anonymous No.18222170]

last year, i got my dream job in academia in a big european city. although i vote for left wing parties and would call myself a leftist, i am so incredibly sick of the identity politic bullshit at my university. all day everyday it's about how we all have to take a stand in kurdish women fighting or in a tunesian liberation movement or in a professor silencing minority voices or whatever. i just want to quit and have a real job but i stayed in academia so long and i am finally making money and i love the work itself but i can't listen to angry students "fighting the canon" or whatever for the fivehundred time

[Anonymous No.18222183]

>>18221661
cherish that time man and don't worry, you'll find a job and you are going to have way less time and you will think about those awesome times filled with reading and writing and nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous No.18222195]

>>18222170
>we all have to take a stand in kurdish women fighting or in a tunesian liberation movement
holy bluepill scoob

[Anonymous No.18222205]

Money actually can buy happiness. Once I've got savings I'm simply going to live like a lazy aristocrat's son, drink coffees, eat ham hocks and go hunting for sport every day until it runs out

[Anonymous No.18222208]

i am in my thirties and lead a happy life. i married the love of my life, have a son, a pretty cool job and a few close friends. but still from time
to time i get these insane nostalgic chills when i think about my early 20s and how open everything seemed to be and how i didn't give a fuck about anything and it sometimes makes me cry, i really don't know why, because my life was pretty shitty then and only with an insane amount of luck did i end up where i am now

[Anonymous No.18222256]

>>18221778
You don't allow yourself to be passionate or express any kind of raw emotions about anything because you are afraid of failure, consequences (like losing the comfortable and easy life you're leading) or ridicule.

[Anonymous No.18222259]

>>18222208
Was it shitty or just open ended and stale? I’m 27 and I really feel my life is pretty shitty. In fact, I think it’s almost the opposite of open ended in that way but I still fantasize that some day I’ll have a happy domestic life or something like you when I’m older even though I know I probably won’t and still wouldn’t be happy if I did.

[Anonymous No.18222272]

>>18222031
Based

[Anonymous No.18222285]

>>18222256
Perhaps im afraid to see what i might find behind the raw emotions. I'll have to make the jump of faith one day and it scares me.

[Anonymous No.18222291]

I’m having a hard time identifying authors that really speak to me and that really bothers me for some reason. I know I have a certain flavor of fiction that I really like but I’m not finding it anywhere.

[Anonymous No.18222311]

>>18215820
Influencers are such a cancerous mole on the skin of life that the very notion their "title" is derived from their "influence" makes my skin crawl. They need to be exterminated. Someone needs to pull the plug on the internet, it's a fucking cesspool that takes the corrupt of mind and heart and allows them to feel accepted and normal through a very shallow and inhuman connection from the dopamine releases when they're liked or up voted by the other retards that dwell in the darkness and spend their lives resenting the world that spawned them without ever really living the life that was granted.
Hitler did nothing wrong.
The jews are not behind this, though. It's the Chinese.

[Anonymous No.18222325]

>>18215820
How common is women fucking their pet dogs? I always feel super weirded out when i see some of those pics of them basically kissing their dogs or letting them just sleep in their beds and stuff..

[Anonymous No.18222361]

Why do I feel like everything that ever happened is still alive and present, and that time is just the movement of awareness through that totality?

[Anonymous No.18222377]

>>18217443
Buddhist mormonism

[Anonymous No.18222383]

>>18222325
I also let my dog lick my face. It is a gesture of appreciation.

[Anonymous No.18222384]

I finally had zinniah saplings and then this morning i found out that a fat fucking snail ate like 4 of them. Fucking hate snails.

[Anonymous No.18222386]

>>18222361
why not? that's pretty much what i think too

[Anonymous No.18222678]

>>18219603
>Not one but multiple people today talking about how weird they think it is to see fit, attractive guys dating fat girls, and how they couldn't figure it out.
Guarantee these are mostly from women lashing out as a coping mechanism because seeing it makes them feel inadequate.

[Anonymous No.18222704]

>>18222678
Why would women feel inadequate towards fatties?

[Anonymous No.18222771]

>>18222101
Catholic here with legit health reasons not to fast. I don't know about Islam but in Catholicism it's seen as evil temptation to overlook your health, because you're not fasting to give things up to God but to harm His creation. You're meant to do more of other things, like charity, to show good sacrifices instead of bad sacrifices. Sometimes people with eating disorders get told that if they want to sacrifice something for Lent, it should be the disorder and they should eat according to their meal plan as a penance, instead of following the fast days.
Don't know if it's the same for Islam, but I'd say find something good you can do for the world instead of just trying to hamstring yourself.

[Anonymous No.18223004]

>>18222771
I have heard this in Islam as well, and there is an established practice for how to instead go into charity if you can't fast, and I have. Something happened that changed my life completely and I made a decision. I thought my way of life was to change completely, that the preassure in my life was now off for the foreseable future and that I could handle fasting if I was not under any other preassure. Now I'm keeping it up because I started more or less. I'm not sure whether I was right or wrong about my life. it's all kind of a confused blur

[Anonymous No.18223019]

Is there any way that an info dump is allowable? I’m at a point in my story where it would be pretty reasonable for the characters who don’t know what’s going on to ask the ones who do about the situation. But that would still be “show, don’t tell” and be a filthy lot of exposition, wouldn’t it?

[Anonymous No.18223061]

>>18222384
Why not elevate your patch to keep the snails out? And use copper band.
The most fun contraption is to build a small electric fence to zap them.

[Anonymous No.18223068]

I can’t believe I avoided this guy for so long. His books are amazing. Every single one makes you feel like you’re watching an award winning film.

[Anonymous No.18223075]

>>18223061
because i didnt think the snails could reach up the table that i put my saplings on
i underestimated them

[Anonymous No.18223081]

>>18223019
It depends on how you blend it in. Lovecraft is literally all exposition, telling and not showing. Other authors flip between the two based on what character it is. Do what feels right Anon, play around with it. See what works. You can literally type anything. Dont let arbitrary rules meant as guidance rule your life.

[Anonymous No.18223102]

>>18223019
If you really must infodump, put it into it's own designated chapter where you can keep it separated from the rest of the story and your readers can easily skip it when they realize it's one of those chapters.
Infodumping is never necessary.

[Anonymous No.18223148]

>>18216235
Get some beers with wour friend and let him teach you. Enjoy the time with him and get better.

[Anonymous No.18223203]

>>18223004
Maybe talk it over with someone Muslim or read verses? There are lots of things about God silencing the noise of confusion so we can hear His Grace and Truth within us, and probably something similar in your religion.

[Anonymous No.18223210]

>>18223068
?

[Anonymous No.18223224]

>>18223075
fucking snails

[Anonymous No.18223247]

>>18222325
Sleeping with your dogs is top-tier comfy and also the way of our nordic ancestors

[Anonymous No.18223258]

>>18222325
>he thinks it's just dogs
if only you knew how bad things really are

[Anonymous No.18223262]

>>18222704
How do you feel when you see some short, bald, ugly guy with a really hot girlfriend?

[Anonymous No.18223335]

>dont know what i wanna do with my life
>paying 9k/year for a degree i dont enjoy and will probably not get me a job
>closet gay, friends/family constantly pressuring about getting gf
>too lazy to do anything productive
>wont ever be successful

[Anonymous No.18223342]

>>18223335
First thing you should do is come out

[Anonymous No.18223352]

>>18223342
nop

[Anonymous No.18223356]

>>18222170
I know that feel. The wealthy vs proletarian dialectic was replaced by woke politics and today is black pypo and trannies vs whitey.
I'm an appreciator of leaders and movements of all the spectrum such as Sankara, Mosley, Occupy Wall Street, Sinn Fein. They all wanted to build a system that values their own country and people at the expense of the globalist elite, but the global financial liberals want to destroy the economic, social and psychological well-being of the weak for their profit and thus are pushing their identity bullshit and 72 genders into the media as well as making up the MAGA and BLM to divide us.

[Anonymous No.18223362]

>>18223335
Get hot rich bf.
Quit college.
Get hobby you enjoy.
Make hot rich bf pay for it to become a business.

[Anonymous No.18223403]

butt butt butt butt butt butt butt

holioooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Anonymous No.18223421]

>>18222170
kurdish women are unironically based though, unlike western bourgeois females. Look into Rejava if you haven't already. Very interesting semi-anarchist project going on over there. I hope it flourishes

[Anonymous No.18223457]

>>18223352
lol pussy

[Anonymous No.18223502]

>>18223421
how are they doing? I stopped following it all a long time ago

[Anonymous No.18223529]

Why are westeners so obsessed with doomerism? First it was muh rapture, then it was muh nuclear war, now it's muh climate change. The world HAS to be constantly on the verge of total collapse for some reason. Do other cultures do this? Is it christianity's fault?

[Anonymous No.18223587]

>>18223356
you can buy stocks too bro

[Anonymous No.18223666]

>>18223529
because they can't chill, as dumb as it sounds, they can't. only some few chosen ones can chill, the other ones are nasty in the darkest way, idk maybe it's an instinct that is constantly triggered by society and the outcome is jealousy and smart ass bitches etc. good people chill from the beginning but it becomes harder to chill as u get older. but it's all about chillin' and watch the madness unfold, meanwhile staying positive and all that shit

[Anonymous No.18223775]

I’m struggling to put this into words but please bear with me and engage me on this point if you think you can.

I read a lot of 20th century and 19th century lit and in it I detect a certain sort of image, an aesthetic portrait of life that’s painted and it’s reminiscent of ways of life that came before it too. But when I go to look at these places that are being depicted I don’t see anything remotely resembling that romantic image that was painting by the author and I can almost see faint glimmers or a way of life that used to be there but mostly it’s long gone. I’m thinking here of the coastal fishing village now transformed into a tourist trap, the diner offering shelter from the dynamic San Francisco or New York city, and so on. Is it really that this aesthetic is now just suddenly dead and buried for the first time in history or was it that these authors were depicting an idealized version of it? Were they seeing something like what I see but dressing it up with pretty words? Where on earth can I find this now? There’s like a serenity and peacefulness and an unappreciated romanticism to some of these pictures that I crave so much but for the life of me, I can’t find it anywhere in the real world of today.

[Anonymous No.18223796]

>>18221927
>I'll be 30 in less than a month and I feel like I'm living an unfulfilled life. Have gone through my entire life accomplishing nothing although I have a decent amount of money from smart investments.

god damn, for our forefathers, that was enough! enjoy your money, cryptofag

[Anonymous No.18223798]

>>18223775
Read The Road to Wigan Pier.

[Anonymous No.18223917]

I want to be forgotten

[Anonymous No.18223929]

Didn't get banned, based.

[Anonymous No.18223937]

>>18223929
The "Nigger" thread was yours?

[Anonymous No.18223955]

>>18223937
Nah, I was just the guy who encouraged people to post pr0n. Maybe the OP got his wish.

[Anonymous No.18223988]

>>18215820
I am so screwed
I am so close to graduating, but I failed a midterm and now I need to do well on everything left in this course to pass and I'm struggling on the homework
FUCK I just want to get my degree and gtfo, I don't want to be here anymore

[Anonymous No.18224017]

Any of you have a job which you don’t hate and doesn’t take away from your reading/writing?

I have romantic ideas about being a sailor or a fisherman but I know these fantasies for a guy that’s been in a classroom or an office for a long time now.

[Anonymous No.18224031]

>>18223798
Is it explained in that book?

[Anonymous No.18224063]

The single most sure fire way to ensure you never become a good author is to follow “the track” (go to college, get an corporate job, live in the suburbs or god forbid a small town). Do that through your 20s and well...

[Anonymous No.18224087]

>>18215820
I know this is subjective, but right now I'm having trouble balancing 1) being an inwardly focused person who feels responsible solely for himself and his actions, and 2) not being a solipsistic dick.
I've heard many times in therapy that you should only focus on what you have control over (ie your own thoughts and actions). I've tried hard to internalize this, and have learned to stop pointing the finger at others, but at the same time I have become much less concerned with their problems and suffering, and (perhaps due to a few years of isolation) just feel content to live life for myself. I don't hate people, and care for them on some level, but I can simply do without them. I feel on some part of me that this is fundamentally wrong. And then I figure that the right thing to do is put a stop to all this self-doubt and run with what is natural (in my case just being fine with being a loner.) But then that feels like I'm simply acquiescing to comfort, and not doing enough introspection to make changes... and so we go.
Anyone else feel like this?

[Anonymous No.18224134]

>>18224031
The book is about how you can never go back, and it's become a common metaphor for what you're trying to describe.

[Anonymous No.18224152]

>>18224134
I’m not sure that’s it. I’m not sure it’s about “going back”.

[Anonymous No.18224185]

>>18223775
>an aesthetic portrait of life that’s painted and it’s reminiscent of ways of life

that was probably because there weren't any smartphones. what you are describing was in the air in the 90's too (most likely).

>But when I go to look at these places that are being depicted I don’t see anything remotely resembling that romantic image that was painting by the author

maybe because it's 2021?

>I’m thinking here of the coastal fishing village now transformed into a tourist trap

c, u got it

>Is it really that this aesthetic is now just suddenly dead and buried for the first time in history

yes, kinda

>or was it that these authors were depicting an idealized version of it?

yes, kinda

>Were they seeing something like what I see but dressing it up with pretty words?

nah, they definitely must have seen something different, but if you mean the place, surely the place has remained the same (a mountain remains a mountain)

> Where on earth can I find this now? There’s like a serenity and peacefulness and an unappreciated romanticism to some of these pictures that I crave so much but for the life of me

nobody can give you the answer and show you the way, because that has something to do with your own "fate", if we may call it that

I would suggest that you maybe listen to a lecture on aesthetics if you want to reflect on the whole thing from a historical perspective. however, it does not mean that this is the answer to your questions.

if you can speak German, I can recommend this lecture to you (even if I don't think much of R.D. Precht, but that doesn't matter.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_zDXOGbRe4

[Anonymous No.18224383]

On page 92 now. Getting all settled in to write while I watch livestream which is surprisingly effective because my hands stay hovering over one keyboard or the other.
You know, I'm turning 35 on the 28th. I had this huge plan to go to Japan and live off my books and I've got like a 150k net worth without a house but living on an artist visa and chipping away at that leaves a pretty nasty risk of not allowing me to retire later so I was talking to an elderly fan of mine and he told me just wait until I was 40 and see where I'm at then.
He and my dad aren't wrong. I mean I wanted to see the Olympics before the world went haywire but I still need to finish 2 more books, do audiobooks of them and translations into Japanese to show them I'm serious. (I want to see the places I grew up as a kid and see how things shape up to my young memory. Life goals etc.)
I do find it kinda weird that someone who writes about death has most of his fans as retirees but I'll take it.
Kinda sucks being like yeah I'm 35 soon and they're all you're just a baaaaby but it's fine.
Just trying to do a bunch of stuff and I feel like I'm a lot slower than I want to be.

[Anonymous No.18224398]

how do i learn french fast?

[Anonymous No.18224405]

college and marriage are a scam

[Anonymous No.18224408]

>>18224405
existence is a scam

[Anonymous No.18224421]

>>18224408
existence isn't a scam but a desire that is becoming flesh

[Anonymous No.18224431]

>>18224398
Use digital flash cards (Anki is good) and watch/listen/read to as much French as possible.

[Anonymous No.18224453]

nearing bump limit, new thread here when the time comes
>>18224441
>>18224441
>>18224441

>>18224398
cram a book like sandberg's for the base and start doing comprehensible input while circling back to grammar once in a while to fill in gaps

never liked flashcards, comprehensible input is best

[Anonymous No.18224458]

>>18224453
You're nine post to early you spamming faggot.

[Anonymous No.18224469]

>>18224458
it's never too early to start learning french

[Anonymous No.18224491]

>>18224405
Yes, that's a fact, that's not a saying, it really is. Anyone who is at least 25 years old knows this too, unless you are really retarded etc. The mistake is that younger people think it's just a saying because they get it from the "adults". but not every adult thinks that way. However, out of fear, many parents try to hide this and give the children a false world so that they can follow the rules. Which, unfortunately, is very effective when the lie has taken root.

I'm not a fan of Steve Jobs, but I really like this video because it's honest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYfNvmF0Bqw

[Anonymous No.18224500]

>>18215820
What the fuck is going on with /sffg/? They were always kind of deranged, but this Hololive vs. Scott Bakker shitpost war is ridiculous. I wanted to ask a question about one of Bakker's books, but it looks like that won't be possible for at least a month due to temporary collective insanity. This website fucks with people's brains in the worst way.

[Anonymous No.18224513]

>>18224500
It's been getting steadily worse for years. Kind of a shame because the end result is going to be genre fiction leaking everywhere.

[Anonymous No.18224516]

>>18224500
/sffg/ split because a schizophrenic is trying to create a safespace because some anons wanted to discuss Asian authors like Kōbō Abe, Cixin Liu, Lee Yeongdo, etc, etc in the /sffg/ general.

[Anonymous No.18224533]

>>18215820
I want to be an articulate, intelligent, and hardworking person but I feel like I can't stop half-assing my way through college, and life in general.

I am so close to getting my degree but I can't do another second of online school. Because of covid I've wasted a big chunk of my college experience just sitting on my laptop in my room with no friends and no outlet to even attempt to make them.

I was on Prozac for the past five months and, while it was nice to not be so anxious, I feel like I lost all connection to the political and philosophical context that I became immersed in due to its grip of blissful apathy. I'm starting to think more and more that real philosophizing thoughts only arise from an incongruity with your state of being.

I'm starting to lose faith in academe all together. It is a dreary place where critical thinking is discouraged. Philosophy is not done in the philosophy departments, at least in the US. God I would drop out right now and start my world travels early, but my dream is to become a professor someday (as much as I detest the university, I still would like to have a job where I can get paid a decent salary to read books I like, rather than sit in some cubicle for forty years pushing buttons on a computer for a corporation) and I don't want to hinder my chances of making it happen or prolong this agony any more than it already has been.

[Anonymous No.18224556]

>>18224500
Yeah I just looked at the thread and it is completely incomprehensible. Also why are animetards in there, too?

[Anonymous No.18224611]

new bread
>>18224607
>>18224607
>>18224607
>>18224607

[Anonymous No.18224641]

>>18223988
I feel you brother
My dissertation is due tomorrow and I have been lurking on 4channel for the past week.

I know I'm probably gonna fail and I'm already regretting the time I wasted instead of working on my thesis, but I'll try and grind it out tonight and try to make my writeup a little bit better if I can.

[Anonymous No.18224660]

>>18224533

I'm >>18224641, if I wasn't literally a week away from graduating and upwards of 1 mil in debt I would've dropped out a long time ago. This is no way to live life man

[Anonymous No.18225404]

>>18219032
>you're going through a fucking tough time
I know you'll never see this, but yeah, I am. Of course, I lost that career I was on through betrayal and shitty spite. Got a shit job to keep things going and found out there are things I'm terrible at, guess I shouldn't do things I don't want to. Got another job I was great at, got on track to bump up to management and do something with it. In the meanwhile I had some shit happen and decided to void my "no friends from work" policy. Made a great friend, but that opened me up to a situation I wasn't sure about, but I went with it. Made friends, then BEST friends happened. Then she told me she loved me. Then she made sure that I knew she didn't just mean as friends. Then I told her I love her too, because I actually, genuinely did, and I knew for the first time in my life what real love was. Even the woman I married felt nothing like that for me, and I didn't really for her. And then... things happened. Shit changed. It's more complicated than I'm willing to talk about on here. But, she had proposed, gave me a ring, and told me she wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Then, she didn't. She wanted to stay with him, because she "needed more time" and "wasn't ready yet." After a year I gave her the ultimatum, and she just went on with "not ready yet." We tried to stay friends, but that ended with her telling me straight the fuck off after a month of not talking, and I asked if she was mad at me.

[Anonymous No.18225715]

They're gonna force me to take fagccines

[Anonymous No.18226280]

>>18223666
Nice digits Satan

[Anonymous No.18226303]

>>18224087
You're becoming a god anon

[Anonymous No.18226367]

>>18226303
sarcasm?

[Anonymous No.18226434]

>>18226367
No, it's not a bad thing to not be concerned with the issues of people who are not your friend, as long as you're still kind with strangers. The only ones who deserve your deepest care are a handful of people i an entire life.
It is good to be emotionally independent, just do not exaggerate into becoming a sociopath.