/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.17899685]

Achaeans of /lit/ I'm putting together a team

[Anonymous No.17899824]

Dude like everyone here is from Athens.

[Anonymous No.17899843]

>>17899685
IT IS I, ANONYMOUS, SHITTIEST OF POSTERS AND SLAYER OF FAGGOTS. I BRING 600 SHIPS.

[Anonymous No.17899957]

>>17899685
I AM ANOWNIEMOUS, SON OF TITICLUSLA AND PROGRAMUCuLUS, WHO IS THE SON OF BOOMERPHUCHILLES THE GREAT. I BRING 700 SHIPS.

[Anonymous No.17900077]

FOR NOW COMES ANINMUS, BEATER OF HORSES THAT DIE, AND FORCER OF MEMES, GIVEN STRENGTH BY MIGHTY CHUNGUS HIMSELF. I BRING 230 SHIPS.

[Anonymous No.17900078]

>>17899685
Uh actually I just went insane -- see I'm even plowing my field all wrong you don't want a crazy guy like me involved

[Anonymous No.17900124]

>>17899685

BEHOLD, FAGGOTOI! Son of Gayius and Lesbia, friend of men. I bring 1000 men, all oiled and brawny for your service. Shall their long sarissas attack the rearguard of our enemies!

[Anonymous No.17900125]

>>17899685
Anon, son of moot, from the wild lands of /v/
Where shitposts flow in like mighty waves
sent by the god of earthquakes and storms,
crashing against the stony bay, breaking,
falling back only to pummel the shoreline again,
that is how the shitposts ripple and drift,
in the mighty proud land of /v/ where he was reared
He led 420 ships across the wine dark sea.

[Anonymous No.17900137]

>>17899685
kek thread

[Anonymous No.17900287]

>>17900125
based

[Anonymous No.17900330]

>>17900125
extremely good

[Anonymous No.17900377]

>>17900330
Only if I could into iambic pentameter. Or craft a simile as beautifully as Homer. But you get the idea.

[Anonymous No.17900396]

>>17899685
PRAISE 𐎧𐏁𐏂!

[Anonymous No.17900443]

>>17900377
>BOOK ONE: THE RAGE OF INCELLES

[Anonymous No.17900473]

>>17899685
HEAR MY SOUNDS FOR I AM CREPITUS, STORMER OF THE SEAS, SON OF BUBULISSUS. I BRING 520 SHIPS.

[Anonymous No.17901635]

>>17899685
HELLO YES, ALCH-A-BADDIES WHOM WISE HOMOEROTICUS HAD BORNE IN SACRED PYLOS. I BRING 2 MIGHTY SHIPS

[Anonymous No.17901663]

>>17900078
War Chief! I believe he is just pretending to be retarded. Taketh his waifs pillow and place it before the plow!

[Anonymous No.17901698]

I, Faggos Alexandros, bring 60 catamites, and my spear.

[anonymous No.17901706]

My wife is pregnant, commander. Who will take care of her if I die in the battlefield?

[Anonymous No.17901752]

>>17901635
>I BRING 2 MIGHTY SHIPS

[Anonymous No.17901812]

>>17901706
he said, before I reamed my cool bronze beneath
his chin, shattering teeth and severing the tongue.
His valiant commander wept and grieved,
he would never answer the young soldier's question.

[Anonymous No.17901834]

>>17901812
And thus upon the ships brought feed
in barrels and bags sails carried the seed
the legion led once by another friend
for then chuck usurped by sneed again

[Anonymous No.17901835]

>>17899685
LORD OF MEN, ALLOW ME TO BE YOUR RIGHT HAND, IT IS I NIGGERUS I ANSWER YOUR CALL TO WAR AND BRING WITH ME 69 WARSHIPS EQUIPPED WITH THE FINEST EBONY MEN HAILING FROM ETHIOPIA

[Anonymous No.17901854]

My ships are the longest and the blackest. Mortal men cannot handle my ships, they are too long... and black. And very hard. You ought to go to a shipbuilder that builds shorter ships. Even the gods upon Olympus fear to command one of my ships. They are so hard and black, and very long.

[Anonymous No.17901876]

>>17901854
Ship builder, I am going into battle and I need your longest introduction to a single character that is never mentioned again and subsequently informs you of how many ships they brought.

[Anonymous No.17901998]

>>17901706
Not to worry Lycius, son of immortal Zeus,
it has been arranged that a black man,
mighty as a bull, inevitable as the sea,
will provide your wife with the BBC

[Anonymous No.17902021]

>>17901663
SHUT THE FUCK UP PALAMEDES, THE ORACLE SAID TWENTY FUCKING YEARS

[Anonymous No.17902046]

When dark was the night sky
and thunder struck the ears of mortals,
When crashing down was the rain
and lightening struck the snake,
I was born from Jove's penis.

[Anonymous No.17902565]

Daughter of Ageus bearing Zeus, son of cronos, did whore herself to my father, bigus testicles. For his girth is mine like the blood that runs through me, king of the Pussay, a proud peoples. There I have slain much pussay. I bring 69 ships.

[Anonymous No.17902644]

>>17899685
From page 10 comes Gayjax, son of OP, leader of the brave Faggites. 100 horses with goodly penises rivaled only by those of Phoebus Apollo has he lain with.

[Anonymous No.17902693]

"TROJANS could be here" he thought "I've never been in this region before. There could be TROJANS anywhere." The cool bronze felt good against his bare chest.

[Anonymous No.17902712]

>>17899685
LACEDAEMONIAN HERE

[Anonymous No.17902975]

Fuck off gayreek, I only fight for ILLYRIA

[Anonymous No.17903058]

PRAISE UPON GODDESS ATHENA, I SNEED, OFFSPRING OF CHUCK, FOREBEARER OF SUCK AND FUCK, OFFER MYSELF, MY SEED AND FEED, AND 100 OF MY SHIPS

[Anonymous No.17903067]

ANIMEUS WILL ANSWER WITH THIRTY SHIPS. HOWEVER, PARTWAYS ON THE JOURNEY WE STOPPED AT AN ISLAND AND ANIMEUS WAS BITTEN BY A SNAKE SO HE WILL BE LATE.

[Anonymous No.17903955]

>>17900473
Nobody laughed at my joke. :(

[Anonymous No.17904052]

>>17903067
Animeus is a gay faggot.
I will make a cult in his honor

[Anonymous No.17904422]

>>17899685
>A muse I am from >>>/gif/
>my shoulders are of width
>my sword of flesh is stiff
>my ass will be your sheath

[Anonymous No.17904437]

>>17900443
make this happen

[Anonymous No.17904506]

>>17902693
BASED

[Anonymous No.17904524]

>>17902644
Kek'd and chek'd

[Anonymous No.17904531]

>>17904422
Good one

[Anonymous No.17904542]

>>17899685
PSEUDIUS FROM THE ISLE OF PLEBIA BRINGS 700 SHIPS DESPITE NEVER HAVING READ THE ILLIAD

[Anonymous No.17904625]

ACHAEANS, ARGOLIDS, FRIENDS!
IT IS I, ANDROPHILUS, SON OF AND APHRODISIUS AND HERMODORA, I BRING 3 SHIPS AND 300 EROMENOUS FOR US TO ENJOY AFTER A TIRING DAY OF FIGHTING THE TROJANS

[Anonymous No.17906024]

>>17901752
Only 1 ship to make them all seethe

[Anonymous No.17906746]

I AM AJAX THE MEDUM. I BRING 20 SHIPS.

[Anonymous No.17907920]

>>17906024
>Zeus, mighty god whose shield is thunder!
>Stop the fearsome Achaeans from
>passing through the Hellespont in their
>long black ships, and I, Hector, son of mighty Priam,
>shall sacrifice an unbroken heifer in your name!

[Anonymous No.17907959]

>>17907920
>achilles, we understand the rage that burns inside your chest! but please, unlodge your ship so that we may reach the land of troy and scale their walls!
>....
>.......
>no >:(

[Anonymous No.17907986]

>>17899685
Toot!

[Anonymous No.17908020]

>>17900377
>iambic pentameter
That's wouldn't be very Epic of you, anon

[Anonymous No.17908032]

>>17908020
Very good

[Anonymous No.17908059]

>>17899685
My family can be traced back to ancient city mentioned even in the Iliad. My grandparents house is only a ten minutes walk from the excavated ruins. What do you want?

[Anonymous No.17908325]

>>17899685
I, ANANONICLES, THE ERASTES OF THE LACEDAEMONIAN GYMNAIUM, SON OF GETTA, GRANDSON OF CHECKES, BEAR A SMALL SHIPS FOR THE RETAKING OF THAT FILTHY WHORE HELEN, COMPOSED OF I WITH MY 15 EROMENOI

[Anonymous No.17909580]

>>17899685
>And to the summon of great Anonemnon came men of all nations to page 10 to join the war against Troy of the dauntless walls, like vultures who long to see men die and care not whom
>Here came Anoncharsis the Scythian, priest and beloved of Ares, that slayer of men
>In the fashion of that people rendered a shameful sight, a man guised in woman's dress, though without a woman's beauty or charms
>and with him came 600 of that barbarous people across the wine-dark sea.

[Anonymous No.17909673]

>tfw you take a wine dark piss

[Anonymous No.17909788]

>>17909673
Stop drinking sea water! I swear to the ever-youthful gods some of these assemblies are just taking the opportunity to get rid of their retarded offspring.

[Anonymous No.17909873]

>>17909788
That must be it, the sea water. Thank the gods for wise Seers like yourself. Now, would you mind helping to remove this brazen arrow from my abdomen? An archer's hit me, a good hand at the bow, some Trojan or some Lycian - all glory to him, a heavy blow to us!

[Anonymous No.17909885]

YO ITS ZEUS. LEAVE A MESSAGE.

[Anonymous No.17909951]

You guys really seem to like classic God of War

[Anonymous No.17910706]

>>17899685
Red Figure Vase, standing by.

[Anonymous No.17910784]

>>17909873
I wish to Hera, wife of Zeus, I could remove this arrow, but it is deeply lodged in your shoulder above your left nipple and was shot by a brave warrior who’s lineage is vaguely related to the son of kronos, bearer of the ageus. I can’t help bro. It’s in there real deep. You’re going to die. What should I do with your 30 ships?

[Anonymous No.17911761]

>>17904422
ACHAEANS, MY FELLOW MANIACS, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THE KING OF MYCENAE, SUPREME COMMANDER IN CHARGE, LORDS OF LORDS. AGAMEMNON, YOU ARE A LIAR! AGAMEMNON, YOU SAY YOU LOVE HELEN LIKE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER AND WANT TO BRING HER BACK INTO THE ARMS OF KING MENELAUS, BUT THAT'S A LIE HULK HOGAN YOU WOULD SACRIFICE HER TO BLACK APES OF AFRICAN DECENT AND THAT'S ENOUGH TO GET ME HOT BUT WHAT GETS ME TO THE BOILING POINT IS YOU CALLING TO ARMS THE LARGEST FLEET IN THE HISTORY OF ALL MANKIND FOR NO REASON AT ALL OTHER THAN YOUR GRANDSTANDING AND HOTDOGGING. YOU ARE A PRIMADONNA, AGAMEMNON. AS A MATTER OF FACT YOU WOULD NEVER STAND A CHANCE AGAINST THE CITY OF DARDANIA ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT THE MIGHT OF SHIPS OF ALL OF GREECE, YEEEAAAAH! FELLOW ACHAEANS, MANIACS, I WOULD FIGHT BY YOUR SIDE ANY BATTLE AT ANY TIME BUT THIS TIME. I WILL STAND IN THE CORNER OF KING PRIAM. THIS SUMMER I WILL FIGHT FOR THE CITY OF TROY BECAUSE I HATE YOU AGAMEMNON, AND I HATE YOUR GUTS AND THAT'S ALL THAT WILL BE LEFT ON THE MAT OF WRESTLE MANIA 5

[Anonymous No.17911783]

>>17899685
It is I, MEMENON, son of Sietposterus, from the house of Trandiscords, who bring 88 ships full of Transos, mighty men of valor who will never be women.

[Anonymous No.17912764]

By Zeus! what light by yonder horizon comes?
Is it the semi-human figure, to join us warriors!
Arise, fair beast, and help us slay the trojans
and your remoteness from humankind be forgiven.

[Anonymous No.17912918]

>>17911761
10/10

[Anonymous No.17913703]

>>17911783
>Transos
>>17904625
>300 EROMENOUS FOR US TO ENJOY AFTER A TIRING DAY OF FIGHTING THE TROJANS
>>17908325
>15 EROMENOI
>>17904422
>>17902644
>100 horses with goodly penises
>>17901998
>will provide your wife with the BBC
>>17901854
>my ships. They are so hard and black, and very long.
>>17901835
>69 WARSHIPS EQUIPPED WITH THE FINEST EBONY MEN HAILING FROM ETHIOPIA
>>17901635
>HOMOEROTICUS HAD BORNE IN SACRED PYLOS
>>17900124
>bring 1000 men, all oiled and brawny for your service
uwu

[Anonymous No.17913794]

First good thread on /lit/ in weeks.

[Anonymous No.17914336]

>>17911761
>>17910706
>>17909580
>>17903067
>>17903058
>>17902693
how can one thread be so based?

[Anonymous No.17914779]

>>17913794
Ilichads know how to have a good time

[Anonymous No.17914852]

>>17913703
I'm on nofap. Please don't post pictures like this. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.17914858]

>>17914852
FOR WHAT GOOD IS THE THRUST OF A SPEAR IF A MAN’S MANHOOD IS NOT AT FULL-MAST?

[Anonymous No.17915154]

>>17899685
I could maybe make you guys some sandwiches before you go...

[Anonymous No.17915261]

>>17914852
AND LO DID EVERY CURVY SHAPE AMONG THE GATHERED MEN
CONFUSE POOR ANON IN HIS STATE OF TESTES OVERFILLED
WITHIN HIM FLOATED SEED ENOUGH TO FEED A THOUSAND HEN
LONGING FOR THE CONQUEST WHERE THEY FREELY MAY BE SPILLED

[Anonymous No.17915659]

>>17915154
Off the merchant's ships, the great kings of Achaea all received sandwiches as donation,
the rank-and-file, of course, paid for their sandwiches in gold, bronze and worn hides.
And so all the brawny fighting men gathered 'round the ships with a sandwich in each hand,
they ate one sandwich, and tossed the other on the ground for the gods.
But mighty Agamemnon, in all his glory, enjoyed his sandwich so much, so much that he forgot to sacrifice one to the gods.
For this, Zeus, might Zeus, he whose ass spews lightning after a night of drinking, was displeased, and very, very hungry.
The sound of his rapturing belly thundered 'cross the skies, and fear shot through the hearts of all Achaean fighting men.

[Anonymous No.17916103]

absolutely based thread

[Anonymous No.17916512]

>>17902693
>With a chariot, you can go anywhere you want
He said to himself, out loud

[Anonymous No.17916534]

>>17911783
>mighty men of valor who will never be women.
lmao

[Anonymous No.17916675]

>>17900443
>>17904437

Incelles' wrath, the California spring
Of hoes unnumber'd, heavenly goddess, sing!
That wrath which hurl'd to Pluto's gloomy reign
The souls of lowly thots untimely slain;
Whose limbs unburied on the naked shore,
Devouring knives and hungry handguns tore.
Since great Incelles' manifesto dream
Such was the will of gentleman supreme!

[Anonymous No.17917526]

HERE COME WEEABOOTIUS, COOMER OF ANIME TIDDIES AND NEET BEYOND REALM. WHOM REI IS BEST GIRL AND MOE IS SHIT. I BRING A KANTAI COLLECTION OF TWENTY WAIFU SHIPS

[Anonymous No.17918267]

And so the thread, based /lit/, is lost once more
That dirt is tossed oer graves of worthy threads:
the /pol/s and /gif/s can sprawl unchecked and roar,
Here Monke stands, while /lit/ threads go unread!

And yet some days redemption shines thru mist
A lovely thread of Greek, mythologized
And though you know the jannies must be pissed
Here the worthy's tempers do not rise

For gems in troughs of pigs remain themselves,
Their value undiminished by their peers
4chan may suck, but /lit/ has filled its shelves
With worthy talk of Hellenistic cheer

So give a last hurrah, you frogs, and court
the screencapping you well-deserve, with trips.
I leave you all, good men, with this report:
A newfag brings with him five hundred ships!

[Anonymous No.17918349]

>>17917526
>Weaboötes

[Nestor, son of Neleus No.17918441]

Why, if I was a tenth of the man that I used to be back in the prime of my youth, there wouldn't be no team there wouldn't be no group there wouldn't be no daughter killin' there wouldn't be no plague i'd have gone straight up to the feller Paris or Alexander or whatever he's called and given him a good hard stare and a nice firm handshake and I'd have kicked his ass straight into the sun and then polevaulted on my spear back home to Pylos in a trice and I'd sacrafice twenty of my best bulls to Far-Reaching Zeus and I'd still have time before the cool of the evening with which to enjoy a sumptous feast, but as it stands now, I'm old and thanks for listening and here's a hard candy for you, my son.

[Anonymous No.17918463]

>>17913794
more like months

[Anonymous No.17919488]

>>17918441
The ol'corn pop Jackson approves and sends 50 ships. Friendly reminder: the illium shivers are a nothing burger

[Anonymous No.17919579]

BEHOLD MYSELF, SUPREME MOUTH BRATHER, AND GLUE SNIFFER WITH THE STRENGTH OF HERCULES HIMSELF. I BRING 1 SHIP.

[Anonymous No.17919791]

>>17915154
based, phoenicians greatest allies

[Anonymous No.17920258]

>>17899685
I, MEYSTOLES MEPHISTOLES, HERDER OF SHEEP, PEDERAST OF THE GOATS, BRING 321 VIRGIN GOATS AND 119 SHIPS TO TRANSPORT THEM.

[Anonymous No.17920285]

>>17918267
WHERE THERE IS EXCELLENCE
THERE MUST BE GOODNESS
AND THE GOODNESS MUST BE
COMPLETE TO BE EXCELLENT
WE CAN REASON HERE SO
IN THE PRESENCE OF ZEUS
BY VIRTUE OF REASONING
THAT WHAT IS REASONABLE IS EXCELLENT
WHAT IS EXCELLENT IS COMPLETE
SO WHAT IS GOOD MUST BE COMPLETE
AND WHAT IS COMPLETE MUST BE REASONABLE

REASON THEN MEANS TO REASON WITH REASON
FOR THE SAKE NOT OF REASONING
BUT FOR REASONING FOR A CAUSE OF GOOD
IS BEING GOOD THEN GOODNESS OR GOODNESS INHERENT IN GOOD
MUST ALL REASON THEN HAVE A CAUSE MUST IT NOT BE SO UNGODSTELES
IT MUST BE SO
WHEN THERE THEN IS CAUSE TO COMPLETNESS THERE MUST BE EFFECT TO HAVE THIS CAUSE
AS WE HAVE SEEN THAT REASON MUST BE COMPLETE IF COMPLETENSS IS REASONABLE KNOWING THAT WHAT IS EXCELLENT IS REASONABLE
AND WHAT IS MORE EFFECT THAT BEING GOOD
IS IT NOT SO
I TEGOSTEMES HAVE SPOKEN.

[Anonymous No.17921323]

FROM THE DEPTHS I BRING
BACK TO THE FORFRONT
A RAGING BATTLE BETWEEN
THE ACHAENS AND THE CANADIANS
WHILE THEY MAY SING WITHOUT SONG
OF THE NORTH WEST PASSAGE
WE SING OF GLORIOUS VICTORY
AGAINST THE TROJAN MENACE

[Anonymous No.17922789]

>>17916675
based