/sffg/ - Science fiction and Fantasy general

[Anonymous No.17592069]

"Erotic SFW Covers" edition.

Thread topic: If you were to recommend an "obscure" science-fiction/fantasy book, which one would it be?

Previous Thread: >>17583275

>Recommended reading charts (Look here before asking for vague recs)
https://mega.nz/folder/kj5hWI6J#0cyw0-ZdvZKOJW3fPI6RfQ

>Archive
>>/lit/?task=search2&search_subject=sffg

>Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/1029811-sffg

>Official Poll
https://www.strawpoll.me/42645655/

>Discord
I can't remember

[Anonymous No.17592098]

FUCK BAKKER
FUCK GRIMDARK FANTASY
FUCK YOU

[Anonymous No.17592116]

Can we have a bakker general already? I want to discuss science fiction

[Anonymous No.17592131]

>If you were to recommend an "obscure" science-fiction/fantasy book, which one would it be?
I've mentioned it before, but Another Day, Another Dungeon was very formative for me. Just a goofy, fun book

[Anonymous No.17592141]

>>17592116
Almost no one here cares about science fiction.

[Anonymous No.17592155]

>>17592141
>local barnes and noble split the science fiction and fantasy shelves
Finally I can stop searching through gay spaceship wank for my wizard books

[Anonymous No.17592159]

>>17592116
>I want to discuss science fiction
Then why don't you? Crying about the state of a board or general while doing absolutely nothing to change that is the dumbest thing possible. You're actually contributing less than nothing.

[Anonymous No.17592164]

>>17592116
>science fiction

AHAHAAH if i wanted to read about cardboard cutouts and "science" that is outdated in AT BEST 10 years after publication, I would read scifi

[Anonymous No.17592165]

>>17592155
Based sentiment but why the FUCK aren't you using thrift books

[Anonymous No.17592171]

>>17592165
Honestly, I basically never go there but my mom put a $50 gift card in my stocking this year

[Anonymous No.17592196]

>>17592098
BASED BASED
I DECLARE A BAKKER FREE THREAD

[Anonymous No.17592203]

>>17592116
Bakker is literally sci-fi, I hope you realize. It's one of the main reason his worldbuilding and narrative sucks so much ass.
>it's aliens bruh
Is his idea of good storytelling.

[Anonymous No.17592209]

>>17592116
>>17592141
Do you like Colin Kapp?

[Anonymous No.17592232]

>>17592116
Good science fiction is roughly a decade dead.

[Anonymous No.17592242]

>>17592164
No instead you prefer to read about a super human that with great training is able to read people's mind on their facial expression.

[Anonymous No.17592245]

Anyone know where I can download MEG: Nightstalkers and MEG: Generations? Libgen and epdf have failed me. I know the books aren't exactly high brow but sometimes I just want to read about a giant shark eating people not a deep journey into the human condition.

[Anonymous No.17592249]

Unironically, is there a single fantasy book that can match the storytelling and depth of Umineko? If you like that Malazan and Mistborn trash don't even bother responding to my post, I will ignore you.

[Anonymous No.17592326]

Curated list of recommended books

[Anonymous No.17592334]

>>17592232
So is fantasy

[Anonymous No.17592341]

>>17592326
most of those covers are so cringe holy shit

[Anonymous No.17592354]

>>17592326
>Curated

[Anonymous No.17592362]

>>17592326
GRI is the thinking man's fantasy.

[Anonymous No.17592417]

Is "FantasyTech" a thing?

[Anonymous No.17592432]

>>17592417
Yes, Sanderson.

[Anonymous No.17592456]

>>17592326
damn, I remember really enjoying Night Watch as a teen, can't remember anything about it though, except >Russians

[Anonymous No.17592470]

>>17592326
I'm considering reading GOT but that fatman is never going to finish the series, will he?
Just need some decent fantasy page turner series really.

[Anonymous No.17592509]

>>17592326
This list goes from good to total dogshit then back again so fast I'm getting fucking whiplash.

[Anonymous No.17592557]

>>17592470
I still enjoyed the ride.

I'm not much one for closure or whatever.

[Anonymous No.17592607]

>>17592470
Read Night Lords FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.17592629]

>First rule of fantasy
If there isn't at least one instance of incestual gay rape in your novel, then it's shit.

[Anonymous No.17592638]

E William Brown better fucking publish.

[Anonymous No.17592671]

Curated Self Published books

[Anonymous No.17592690]

>>17592249
>guy straight up refuses to believe in magic despite it happening in front of his very eyes

Riveting.

[Anonymous No.17592762]

>>17592690
>guy straight up refuses to believe in magic despite it happening in front of his very eyes
Cringe
>cute redhead straight up refuses to believe in magic despite it happening in front of her very eyes
Kino

[Anonymous No.17592781]

>>17592557
if he ever releases a new one then i'll give it a go.
>>17592607
alright, starting with Soul Hunter?

[Anonymous No.17592785]

>>17592245
>reading Steve Alten trash

[Anonymous No.17592839]

>>17592326
>black sun rising
Holy based
>way of kings
What the fuck
>Night angel
Oh shit, based
>prince of nothing
Fucking tras-
>gay rape
Okay, fair play

[Anonymous No.17592875]

>>17592629
Dilate, bakker

[Anonymous No.17592905]

>>17592785
Look man I get he reads like a confused out of touch boomer half of the time but god damn I like the bits with the killer animals. I am not reading the MEG series because i want to hear more about Jonas Taylor talking about kids these days and family values I am in it for the shark violence and in that regard the guy delivers in spades.

[Anonymous No.17592907]

Did this guy get cucked?

[Anonymous No.17592917]

>>17592839
>Night angel
>Oh shit, based
Absolute trash. Even the worst Sandershit is far better than that garbage.

[Anonymous No.17592972]

What do you guys think of Larry Correia? How does he fare against Sanderson?
I'm caught up on the Forgotten warrior and while I am enjoying it for the most part, I don't think they're particularly good.

[Anonymous No.17593008]

Thank you for recommending Bakker, bros. It has been fucking amazing so far. I wasn't even aware that fantasy authors could write like this.

[Anonymous No.17593053]

>>17593008

[Anonymous No.17593096]

>>17593008
you’re welcome fren
ignore the haters

[Anonymous No.17593113]

>>17593096
I know, it was actually the haters who made me aware of Bakker, ironically enough.

[Anonymous No.17593236]

https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/comments/lng227/how_do_i_make_it_clear_that_my_characters_are_not/

kek

[moorcockfanboy No.17593294]

form the stealer of souls book

[Anonymous No.17593339]

>>17593236
>how do I make it clear that my characters are not redditors?

[Anonymous No.17593415]

>>17593236
You faggots sure like using reddit and making sure everyone knows it.

[Anonymous No.17593454]

>>17593415
zomg le redit

[Anonymous No.17593527]

Just finished children of dune and have mixed feelings. I was really enjoying it for like 90% of it up until Leto got that weird wibeworm suit. I heard God Emperor is good though, is it worth the read?

[Anonymous No.17593551]

>>17593236
Honest question, what are new SFF novels of the next 30 years going to look like?

[Anonymous No.17593580]

>>17593551
You already know the answer to this. We might see a paradigm shift with self publishing authors. But there's still no good platform for that.

[Anonymous No.17593654]

>>17592069
>If you were to recommend an "obscure" science-fiction/fantasy book, which one would it be?
The Wallet of Kai Lung

[Anonymous No.17593685]

Anyone here read Neal Asher?

[Anonymous No.17593710]

>>17593685
what type of technician is this?
anyway don't known him

[Anonymous No.17593736]

>>17592249
What's the Full Metal Daemon Muramasa of /lit/?

[Anonymous No.17593773]

>The only bit of rampant nationalism was Eda Ostrom, a geologist, who taught everyone Danish through sheer force of personality and taking double shifts, so that her native tongue was our lingua franca by the time we arrived. The rest of the long-running edutaintment was Jain Diaz from the NASA contingent teaching us considerate use of pronouns with sufficient patience and determination that ze even had the most hardcore Russians respecting hir life choices. Ze was an indicator of just how much looser things had got in the States after the fighting, which I suppose is some small consolation. By the time the interplanetary satnav told us we’d reached our destination, then, we were fully up on nonbinary etiquette and everyone’s messages home were peppered with incomprehensible Danish slang.

[Anonymous No.17593778]

>>17592905
you made me chuckle anon thanks

[Anonymous No.17593780]

>>17593685
*dies of cringe* whenever the author brings up the topic of religion and mentally devolves into a 14 year old

[Anonymous No.17593816]

>>17593685
A long time ago, I read The Engineer and a couple of the Polity novels. I don't remember much but I did like Brass Man a lot.

[Anonymous No.17593836]

>>17593685
>tfw no android gf

[Anonymous No.17593942]

I want to get in to reading more genre fiction, mainly fantasy and something that's not Tolkien and ASOIAF. I started reading The Name of the Wind at work on my phone the other day and almost finished it although it's not what I'm looking but was an easy read. I doubt I'll ever read any more of his books. I'm now looking at Gardens of the Moon and The Darkness That Comes Before because I've heard that the prose is far better, which is what I'm looking for but also something epic. Which one would you recommend? I'm leaning toward Bakker because I glanced at the prologue and it looks much better than The Name of the Wind.

[Anonymous No.17593949]

>>17593942
Lyonesse

[Anonymous No.17593975]

>>17593685
I like all his books, there's a lot of them
went in after wanting something like Alastair Reynolds and not liking his recent Bone Reader, something, series too much
now I maybe prefer Asher more? Nah, Reynolds still too fun for his horror-ish stuff
fair to say I can love both

On one hand the books loses some "freshness" and novelty over the course of his series
even if the author is pretty liberal with introducing new concepts and ideas, he's a bit too stagnant

But on the other hand, the author actually utilizes his buildup to great payoffs

Also I think he's the singular SciFi writer that knows how to write proper endings to his longer stories, that doesn't feel like shit to read (Reynolds stories does NOT have good endings to them)
errr, not counting Wolfe

[Anonymous No.17594007]

>>17593942
bakker for sure. malazan has extremely frustrating prose. erikson likes to exposition for pages on end without anything ever happening.
if you ACTUALLY want good prose read gene wolfe's book of the new sun or mervyn peake's titus groan

[Anonymous No.17594015]

>>17593415
I also like going to the zoo, on occasion.

[Anonymous No.17594020]

>>17593975
Pushing Ice fag, is that you?

[Anonymous No.17594058]

>>17594020
No, that's among the 2 Reynolds books I haven't read yet

[Anonymous No.17594084]

>>17594058
There is always someone crying about how no one read a particular Reynolds book, and he can't discuss it with anyone... is that you?

[Anonymous No.17594086]

https://www.fandom.com/articles/5-major-anime-tropes-and-the-shows-that-avoid-them

Stormlight LITERALLY has 9 of these 10 anime tropes. It is Avengers Assemble and some weeb anime shit had a child.

[Anonymous No.17594097]

>>17594084
No, I have never made any posts to that effect regarding any author or series

[Anonymous No.17594103]

>>17593236
Cancer go back.

[Anonymous No.17594119]

>>17594086
*dies of cringe*

[Anonymous No.17594131]

Just finished The White Luck Warrior. It was definitely the weakest entry in the series, so far.

The ending was stratifying though. The Ishuäl Interlude was a nice tease. Been waiting for that shit for 5 entire books I think I will jump right in into The Great Ordeal.

[Anonymous No.17594168]

>>17593236
I thought China Mieville's "trick" in Perdido Street Station was clever.
Paraphrasing: Main character was glad his skin was dark enough for it to hide the fact that he was blushing
Pretty far into the book. I was like; oh! the guy is black? lmao

[Anonymous No.17594196]

I wanted to share my overwhelming appreciation of Brandon Sanderson. I'm currently reading 'The Way of Kings' and am struck by how complex the characterisation is, how thorough the worldbuilding is, and how creative and natural his writing style is. I'd visited his site earlier where he has the bar charts showing his progress with his books and assumed he was a taste of the future- machines generating stories for us based on calculation and formulae. Could I have been more wrong?

I tried out the first book of the Mistborn series and was absorbed by Kelsier. Some of the fight scenes in that book were so imaginative and vividly described. And now I've finally got my bands on 'The Way of Kings' (previously I was mistakenly delivered two copies of part 2 so I delayed seeking out the first part as life is busy). Again, the characters as so fascinating, relatable, and complex. His writing is still original and demonstrating effortless creativity. And there's a certain comfort to knowing that you're enjoying the writing of a prolific writer who is good at what they do- there's more to seek and enjoy.

How does he do it? It's like he's cut out the whole 'oh, give me time as I live and seek inspiration for the next page' and has managed to observe and absorb so much about life, personality, writing and so much more and has managed to wrestle it into some kind of order so that he can draw on things at will as he churns out these fresh, satiating books that are so well balanced and... whole (in a wholesomely whole kind of way). It's awe inspiring. Putting pen to paper seems hard enough, but doing is so masterfully... I wouldnt't be surprised if someone told me that he's actually several centuries old, having devoted the last few to the study of story and writing.

What a gem. I'm writing this because Fantasy used to play a large role in helping me cope with loneliness and depression when I was younger and, over time, the repetitiveness of it and the new grimdark stuff just couldn't do it. I've finally found something that, once again, is giving me a bit of passion and comfort. Thank you so much, Mr Sanderson.

[Anonymous No.17594206]

>>17594131
>the weakest entry in the series, so far.
Bakker killed his editor or something, second half of the series is a complete slog
there is no reason for it to be that long (and repetitive), it could absolutely be shortened to 2/3rds or even halved, with no information loss

And I say this as someone that LIKES the series,,,

[Anonymous No.17594210]

>>17594206
Not an argument.

[Anonymous No.17594221]

>>17594086
>9 of 10
>5 major anime tropes
I always knew you retards couldn't read.

[Anonymous No.17594227]

BRANDOOM SANDERSTORM

[Anonymous No.17594235]

>>17594227
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6120QOlsfU

[Anonymous No.17594239]

>>17594086
>big breasts
oh the humanity

[Anonymous No.17594243]

>>17594210
What exactly made you think I was making "an argument"?

[Anonymous No.17594246]

>>17594210
Really? Because the biggest consensus around Branderson is being overly long and repetitive and needing a new editor. Good to know it's not actually a legitimate complaint :^)
>almost like the fangirls have a double standard for their edgy autismolord

[Anonymous No.17594249]

>>17593778
I am angry
angry about the difficulties of shark book piracy

[Anonymous No.17594260]

Bakker
Sanderson

Shit-post or not, let's face it. These names are the lifeblood of /sffg/. The entire thread is a dead slog until someone mentions them.

[Anonymous No.17594262]

>>17594086
Oh no no no!
Wolfe got all of those

[Anonymous No.17594268]

>>17594246
>Because the biggest consensus around Branderson is being overly long and repetitive
You said it yourself, not me.

[Anonymous No.17594270]

>>17594260
Speed is not the primary judge of a thread's quality, unless you use /dbs/ as your role model

[Anonymous No.17594271]

>>17594249
Why would anyone willingly read this? Like I watched the thing on Netflix because I'm gay for the English actor, but there are books? Yuk.

[Anonymous No.17594277]

>>17594270
Speed gives us first page visibility. That's not a bad thing, all things considered.

[Anonymous No.17594286]

>>17594277
Why the fuck would first page visibility matter to a general? Anybody who wants to find this thread is using the catalog, and anybody who stumbles on it randomly is almost guaranteed to be asking for the same boring recommendations or shitposting

[Anonymous No.17594303]

>>17594286
Having new people coming in is the only hope for this general.

[Anonymous No.17594309]

>>17594260
Dead because the regulars don't actually read anything, and if they do, they don't want to discuss it. I've finished like 5 books this month and tried to discuss them each time with no success. Terrible thread.

[Anonymous No.17594311]

>>17594303
No thanks, newfags brought Bakker. It wasn't like this 6 months ago.

[Anonymous No.17594317]

>>17594303
To what end? The thread is totally fine for the stretches of time when retards can avoid posting about the same two authors. People post a variety of books and talk about all different aspects of sci fi and fantasy. A large influx of new posters doesn't improve any of that, it likely just means there's a big dumb culture shift that we don't need.

[Anonymous No.17594318]

>>17594271
The books came before the movie, and are way more violent. I was super pissed to find the movie was rated PG-13 and had so little deaths.

[Anonymous No.17594321]

>>17594311
>No thanks, newfags brought Bakker. It wasn't like this 6 months ago.
Exactly. That's why the quality of the general has substantially increased.

[Anonymous No.17594324]

>>17594309
I've finished 25 books for the year, and every time I try to start something, I'm ignored.

The "regulars" left, all that remains are outside invaders .

[Anonymous No.17594338]

>>17594309
I read 5 books in 2 months?

Am I gonna make it?

[Anonymous No.17594344]

>>17594311
Newfags will bring in the next meme. Treadmill of memes.

[Anonymous No.17594352]

>>17594321
Not funny, not fun.

[Anonymous No.17594358]

>>17594321
Based. The memes on /sffg/ have never been this good.

[Anonymous No.17594376]

>>17592232
Name 1 (five) good science fiction novels.

[Anonymous No.17594377]

>>17594249
you did it again anon, this time made me straight up laughing

[Anonymous No.17594390]

Blindopraxia and Prince of Nothing is the only good SFF stuff written the last fucking 20 years, deus
how bleak
gonna kill

[Anonymous No.17594398]

*Buggers you*

[Anonymous No.17594399]

>>17594221
https://www.cbr.com/common-anime-tropes-everywhere/

Meant to post this one.

[Anonymous No.17594410]

>>17594399
Awesome, thought you were struggling counting to 5

[Anonymous No.17594412]

>>17594376
Dogs of War

[Anonymous No.17594427]

>>17594399
what one doesn't it include of the 10?

[Anonymous No.17594462]

>>17594390
They are both extremely autistic, antihuman pessimistic works. I highly enjoy both but to say there is nothing else good out there because nothing else is exactly like them is not right. I think it's great to read these neuroscience-inspired works but they're really bleak and you shouldn't limit yourself to just an extremely specific flavor; it doesn't get better than a prime rib roast but I couldn't eat it for every course of every meal! You're shutting yourself off from enjoying other works. What SFF from more than 20 years ago do you think is good, and why?

[Anonymous No.17594464]

>>17594427
#6, I believe

[Anonymous No.17594519]

>>17594412
Oops! I said good! Try again retard!

[Anonymous No.17594522]

>start reading a fire upon the deep
>start off with cool deep space ai coming to life
>next chapter is about alien dogs in the bronze age
wew lad, imminent pacing issues

[Anonymous No.17594528]

>>17592917
>he doesn't like having fun
Too big brain to enjoy some assassins, elder god-tier magi, big titty redheads, and OP protag mentors? I feel bad for you son

[Anonymous No.17594532]

>>17594519
Have sex.

[Anonymous No.17594557]

Who here is unironically a booktuber?

[Anonymous No.17594559]

The only fantasy I read is Bakker, Le Guin, Blake, and Borges.

[Anonymous No.17594566]

>>17594559
Nice try. You don't read.

[Anonymous No.17594570]

>>17594522
yeah, i dropped it years ago because of the space wolves

[Anonymous No.17594607]

[Anonymous No.17594620]

Why are there vampires in Blindsight? Did anyone else find this immersion breaking?
It seems unnecessary, especially given the ending.

[Anonymous No.17594638]

>>17594570
Fuck you the space wolves were chill af nigga

[Anonymous No.17594642]

>>17594638
furry

[Anonymous No.17594649]

>>17594557
That's a funny picture, do you mind if I save it

[Anonymous No.17594650]

>>17594642
The bushes with wheels were the main sex appeal of the book

[Anonymous No.17594666]

>>17594528
“Elene gasped and sat up. "Kylar Thaddeus Stern!"
Kylar giggled. "Thaddeus? That's a good one. I knew a Thaddeus once."
"So did I. He was a blind idiot."
"Really?" Kylar said, his eyes dancing. "The one I knew was famous for his gigantic-"
"Kylar!" Elene interrupted, motioning toward Uly.
"His gigantic what?" Uly asked.
"Now you did it." Elene said, "His gigantic what, Kyler?"
"Feet. And you know what they say about big feet." He winked lasciviously at Elene.
"What?" Uly asked.
"Big Shoes," Kylar said.”

[Anonymous No.17594680]

>>17594666
to this day, these are the worst books ive ever read. i have no idea how he got published

[Anonymous No.17594687]

>>17594680
Quality doesn't matter in the publishing world. The dumber the better. As long as it fulfills the anime-tier requirements.

[Anonymous No.17594694]

>>17594666
Still can't believe I was meme'd into reading this series.

[Anonymous No.17594712]

>>17594666
Yikes, is this Bakker?

[Anonymous No.17594723]

Obwë Gûswuran
Ikurei Xerius
Sasal Umrapathur
Wuttëat
Auvangshei
Sakarpus
Sauglish
Tharschilka
Kumrezzer
Gâl

[Anonymous No.17594725]

>>17594399
Book of the New Sun

>1 Character Unlocks Secret/Forgotten Power Just Before Defeat
Conveniently reveals that he has the power to resurrect himself just as he is poked to death by the 100% lethal flower
Regaining the Claw, Gaining the memories of the Autarch

>2 Villain Doesn't Capitalize
Both Hethor and Agia seeks to kill Severian in a very roundabout fashions, gloat, rather than ending him in his sleep, etc.
Baldanders and Typhon would rather just talk than squash Severian

>3 Monologues For Exposition
Severian story is complicated enough to require some heavy exposition, necessarily due to the way it's told, the majority of this is delivered as monologue, no matter if things still remains unclear

>4 Emotional Flashback Before Big Moment
You could argue the entirety of the book is this, before he finished his memoire, put in a lead box and threw it into space while riding the spaceship to decide the fate of the Urth

>5 Non-Existent/Absent/Dead Parents
Adopted by the tortures guild at very young age due to this

>6 Oppai
Jolenta

>7 Weak Female Characters
Significantly Dorcas, Thecla being an actual damsels in distress, I think, Jolenta has severe weakness, in spite of her newfound talents

>8 Expedited Training
Due to his excellent memory Severian is quick on the uptake of certain skills, like seafaring, war, or being a Lictor/Autarch
But I recall no training montages(?). Well, there is an proper training montage in Long Sun, were Master Xiphias turns Silk into a unparalleled swordfighter in a single course

>9 Ridiculous Power Scaling
From manhandling pitiful criminals, to competently carrying himself as cavalry in war, to fighting for his planet in a faraway galaxy and washing in a cleansing flood

>10 Tsundere
Foremost, Thecla seems to have violent mood swings between tenderness and anger

10 out of 10
Did Wolfe invent anime?

[Anonymous No.17594740]

>>17594712
It’s brent weeks, look at the image, retard.

[Anonymous No.17594751]

>>17594712
No, this is Bakker

[Anonymous No.17594767]

>17594607
Oh look, the last thread just archived.

[Anonymous No.17594797]

>>17594740
It's clearly Bakker.

[Anonymous No.17594826]

>>17594751
That fucking hilarious. He's a really good writer.

[Anonymous No.17594855]

>>17594751
Am I actually witnessing one of the famous cuckings in action?

[Anonymous No.17594857]

>>17594607
These truly are the best.

[Anonymous No.17594878]

wow, this general is a real hole. is it always this bad?

[Anonymous No.17594897]

>>17594857
> Gritty, dark fantasy
> Joe Abercrombie

Do people honestly believe this? Hes fucking worse than Sanderson

[Anonymous No.17594909]

>>17594855
LMAO
Oh yeah
I just saved the page because it used the word 'cunny'
but I guess there is an ongoing cucking as a backdrop, I didn't realize

eh, guess it would be hard to save a whole page without there being one

[Anonymous No.17594923]

>>17594855
No, she's a whore. There are actual cuckold scenes in the books though.

[Anonymous No.17594927]

Uh.. If your books feature women getting hurt, due to entirely realistic in-setting reasons, it's misogynistic DRIVEL (the ultimate brainlet buzzword). Simple as.

[Anonymous No.17594960]

OH NO NO NO NO SANDERBROS. /lit/ is making fun of us again >>17592581

[Anonymous No.17594962]

[Anonymous No.17594979]

>>17594962
He's actually rating his intelligence, he just doesn't know it.

[Anonymous No.17594985]

>>17594962
Whew, lard

[Anonymous No.17594995]

>>17594390
Prince of Nothing isn't that good..especially the last book.

[Anonymous No.17595014]

>>17594962
There should be a mandatory random fucking quiz for people to even be allowed to rate any book.

[Anonymous No.17595078]

>>17594962
>180 people found this helpful

[Anonymous No.17595086]

>>17594960
hey i started that thred lol

[Anonymous No.17595093]

>>17594962
He's close to getting the fact that he isn't actually reviewing the book

[Anonymous No.17595099]

How do I make my characters less YA tier?

[Anonymous No.17595117]

>>17595099
seks

[Anonymous No.17595121]

>>17595099
>How do I make my characters less YA tier?
Unironically have sex.

[Anonymous No.17595138]

>>17595117
>>17595121
how do i make sex scenes not cringe?

[Anonymous No.17595143]

>>17595138
Read Bakker and find out.

[Anonymous No.17595166]

>>17594962
>It's the book's fault I can't read

[Anonymous No.17595170]

>first draft edgy mc kills the guy that starts talking to him at the bar in front of guy's gf
>second draft edgy mc lets the guy and his gf tag along on his swamp adventure
:3

[Anonymous No.17595197]

Just out of mild curiosity: Was I the only one who thought that the Gods weren't real to begin with while reading the Prince of Nothing trilogy? Didn't Kellhus think that as well? I can't quite remember. Even with magic added to the mixture, He only explores the metaphysical nature of Eärwa in the aspect emperor.

[Anonymous No.17595220]

>>17595197
He realizes they’re real in warrior prophet when he’s tied to the circumfix, and that’s what drives him “insane” by Dunyain standards.

[Anonymous No.17595231]

>>17595121
t u r g i d
h o r n

[Anonymous No.17595242]

>>17594666
>sunset found her shitting
Anyone can cherrypick a terrible page in 1000+ pages of writing.

[Anonymous No.17595244]

>>17595220
Some anon mentioned that that specific scene had a special significance to the rest of the story, but I still haven't re-read the series. I will pay extra attention next time.

[Anonymous No.17595253]

>age of consent in medieval times was like 13 or some shit
>can't get away with having accurate depictions of that in the year of our lord 2021
what do i do, bros?

[Anonymous No.17595275]

>>17595253
Why not? Brent weeks had Dorian fuck 12 and 14 yr old sisters, simultaneously, to intimidate some general of his because they were the general's daughters.
"sweating, panting, obscene"

[Anonymous No.17595290]

>>17595138
You didn't understood what I meant. You(Yourself) need to have sex. When that happens, you will gradually become a better writer.

[Anonymous No.17595299]

>>17595290
but i've had sex and i still suck

[Anonymous No.17595308]

>>17595299
>but i've had sex
Have more.

In the meanwhile, post a passage from your prose. I promise I won't make fun of you, too much.

[Anonymous No.17595311]

>>17595253
Even Stephen King has had young teen/preteen orgies in his books.

[Anonymous No.17595322]

>>17595290
Upon reaching the age of 18, I began my vagtastic voyage. I've had sex with over 32 women, the most recent of which I've banged daily for 3 years. I am a terrible writer, and you are a fool. I ejaculated all of my creativity. Semen retention is the true path to greatness. Unironically DON'T have sex.

[Anonymous No.17595323]

>>17595308
She was sopping wet when he entered her. “Damn you,” she said. “Damn you damn you damn you.” He sucked her nipples till she cried out half in pain and half in pleasure. Her cunt became the world.

[Anonymous No.17595348]

>>17595323
kek
>>17595308
the above poster is not me but it'd be funny if it was

[Anonymous No.17595354]

>>17595348
>the above poster is not me but it'd be funny if it was
I know, the "her cunt became the world" was obvious enough.

[Anonymous No.17595357]

>>17595197
The cursed battlefield early on had me a firm believer

[Anonymous No.17595358]

>>17595308
>She cracked open the door, wincing as it creaked and popped. Moonlight splashed across her feet and she took a deep breath and slipped through the barely cracked door. The garden was still and alive at once and the smell of orange blossoms filled her with nostalgia for something she'd never experienced. "Come on," he said, gesturing at the one-speed laid down on the sidewalk. It was rusting before her very eyes "that piece of shit?" She asked. But she didn't hesitate in walking over to stand it up, adjusting her dress to climb on. She had wanted this for a long time.

[Anonymous No.17595376]

>>17592470
It's basically the goat.

[Anonymous No.17595397]

>>17595358
>>She cracked open the door, wincing as it creaked and popped.
You repeat the same verb twice without any need.

>Moonlight splashed across her feet and she took a deep breath and slipped through the barely cracked door.
This would be better: "With moonlight splashed across her fee, she took a deep breath and slipped through the ajar door."

>The garden was still and alive at once and the smell of orange blossoms filled her with nostalgia for something she'd never experienced.
You use "and" way too much, and you're missing commas in certain places.

You have some other punctuation issues.

[Anonymous No.17595403]

>>17593773
This shit is like garlic to a vampire for me.

[Anonymous No.17595431]

>>17595397
>You repeat the same verb twice without any need.
Not him...but so?

[Anonymous No.17595434]

>>17594962
I love Lovecraft but even I found Poe to be a little wordy to be fair.
Still why leave a review...unless it's a joke...

[Anonymous No.17595447]

>>17595434
>I found Poe to be a little wordy
Poe is fine. Lovecraft is the one whose stories just go on and on and on.

[Anonymous No.17595451]

>>17595431
I cut the quote by mistake. He uses the verb "cracked" to describe the door on two adjacent sentences. There's no need for that.

[Anonymous No.17595476]

Opinions on Jeff VanderMeer and eco weird recommendations pls

[Anonymous No.17595484]

>>17594723
Hello monoglot

[Anonymous No.17595533]

>>17595397
Nitpicking. Post a paragraph of yours

[Anonymous No.17595549]

>>17595451
oh my bad i thought you were talking about creaked and popped being too similar, and that he should cut one of them.

[Anonymous No.17595563]

>>17595476
I don’t have any good recs but I do really like Vandermeer, I thought Souther Reach was great until book three and Borne was solid

[Anonymous No.17595565]

How do you avoid sounding cliche? It's like I think in cliches.
>inky black
>sunlight dappled
>light poured in
>the door creaked open
Also do you say "frowned" or "furrowed his brow" do they mean the same thing? What if someone unfurrows their brow?

[Anonymous No.17595571]

>>17595484
Hello mongoloid

[Anonymous No.17595609]

>>17592116
feel free to visit >>17586201

[Anonymous No.17595617]

>>17595484
My thoughts exactly.
Imagine being filtered by names.

[Anonymous No.17595623]

>>17594962
I'm an ESL reading Lovecraft's Complete Fiction right now and I have no problem understanding any of it. Even the archaic vocabulary used can be understood from context without consulting a dictionary. This guy's underage or retarded. Or both.

[Anonymous No.17595644]

>>17595565
who the fuck cares bro, just write your story how you want to tell it.

[Anonymous No.17595647]

>>17594723
>kumrezzer
does blakker think of anything else??

[Anonymous No.17595652]

>>17595533
Could it b-be?

Gardner? Is this you?

[Anonymous No.17595664]

I finally found a use for this.

[Anonymous No.17595674]

[Anonymous No.17595678]

>>17595664
does he have a twitter? You should send this to him desu

[Anonymous No.17595689]

>>17595664
I don't get it

[Anonymous No.17595699]

>>17595689
What don't you understand? I see toilet paper and fuel for my fireplace.

[Anonymous No.17595703]

>>17595699
I thought it was an actual use, not just a destroyed book. He already got your money, doubt he cares what you do with it after that

[Anonymous No.17595714]

>>17595563
I liked the trilogy as well, even book three. Just finished Borne and I'll start The Strange Bird. He's very good, I want to read more stuff like him.

[Anonymous No.17595718]

>>17594376
Book of the new Sun, the Urth of the new Sun, Starship Troopers, Ringworld, and Armor.

[Anonymous No.17595723]

jesus fuck why won't winter end? All I want is to is for my biochemistry to start working again so I can go back to enjoying reading fantasy. Is that really too much to ask?

[Anonymous No.17595738]

>>17595723
are you anon like me that enjoy reading books in the sunlight, in the open?

[Anonymous No.17595747]

>>17595738
Not him, but I'm the exact opposite. Nothing comfier than reading during the winter.

[Anonymous No.17595768]

>>17595571
I accept your surrender

[Anonymous No.17595794]

About to start Fatemarked, a book I don’t even remember buying as I was looking for Shadow of the Torturer to start a reread. What am I in for?

[Anonymous No.17595824]

>>17595768
Accept this 14 rope cumblast on your chest only achieved by edging to images of Bakker for 48 hours.

[Anonymous No.17595828]

>>17592417
Magitek?

[Anonymous No.17595829]

>>17595824
You need to be 18 to post here.

[Anonymous No.17595837]

>>17595829
My dick's 21 cm, so I qualify.

[Anonymous No.17595838]

>>17595738
yes, but on top of that I hate everything to do with winter

>I hate the ugliness of everything becoming cold, grey and dead
>I hate the first day after snowfall for being an ankle-straining obstruction
>I hate the second, third and fourth days after snowfall for packing into invisible ice
>I hate the fifth, sixth and seventh days after snowfall for partially melting into slushy pools of filth at the crosswalks that soak your shoes unless you practiced a fucking ballet routine to get over them
>I hate the holidays, when none of my friends are around and stores are closed
>I hate gift-giving, as it's an inconvenience and I never know what others want
>I hate gift-receiving as I want nothing and people don't listen if you tell them not to get you anything
>I hate the short days for depriving me of sunlight
>I hate having to wear bulky coats outdoors that become furnaces the minute I step indoors, and can't take off without giving myself baggage to carry
>I hate how stores make this worse by turning the heat up to max making me sweat to death in the middle of a barnes and noble while wearing a t-shirt
>I hate the radiator in my own house, which takes too long to kick in, has all the precision of a sledgehammer and whose knob becomes skin-searingly hot, preventing you from turning it off even as you're baking to death in underpants

and now the new hatred

>I hate my glasses fogging up the minute I set foot outside, blinding me wherever I go


Can you tell I have seasonal affective disorder? CAN YOU FUCKING TELL?

[Anonymous No.17595854]

>>17595838
this is why I'm depressed. Not the lack of melatonin, but the fact that every single fucking thing about winter sucks ass!

>go somewhere warm in the winter

good idea asshole, I'll go away to some place where I can't see any of my friends for a third of the fucking year. that sounds like a blast

[Anonymous No.17595859]

>>17595854
>>17595838
Not if you have to be stuck at home.
Nothing more depressing than being on a lockdown in the fucking summer.

[Anonymous No.17595868]

Reminder that it's super fucking based to say "does it trouble you?" to people IRL.
>neighbor asks you to turn down the music
DITY?
>professor asks why my term paper is three weeks overdue
DITY?
>cop pulls me over for speeding
DITY?

they all stare dumbfounded and confused, it's based

[Anonymous No.17595871]

>>17595829
Does it trouble you?

[Anonymous No.17595883]

>>17595871
Yes

[Anonymous No.17595902]

>>17595859
I live in new york. Cases were at an all time low during the spring and summer for me, and then shot back up twice as high in the winter because the anti-masker mouth-breathing mongoloids around me decided to visit their entire family in plaguesville alabama and engage in their annual rat-licking tradtion just for the holidays

[Anonymous No.17595910]

>>17595902
>he thinks the hoax virus is real
>he lives in hellish overpriced new york shitty
ngmi bro. ngmi

[Anonymous No.17595919]

>>17595902
I bet you attended lots of BLM marches this summer with your woke cutie tinder dates

[Anonymous No.17595922]

>>17595910
you are literally a burden on society and I hope hell exists so that you end up there

[Anonymous No.17595936]

>>17595922
Does it trouble you?

[Anonymous No.17595947]

>>17595922
not all can be saved
especially not you.
fool, fool!
you've got to bleed for the dancer.

[Anonymous No.17595961]

Why do you fall so effortlessly for obvious bait?
It takes all the fun away from well crafted shit-posting.

[Anonymous No.17595974]

We can't count on the Prophet to do all the work

[Anonymous No.17595991]

>>17595832

[Anonymous No.17596001]

>at the part in The Darkness That Comes Before where Conphas is about to fight the Scylvendi
>legitimately super invested in whether Conphas is going to be able to win
I'm so glad I let you spergs meme me into reading this, I'm loving it. I miss Kellhus though

[Anonymous No.17596002]

>>17595991
someone needs to cap this shit lmao

[Anonymous No.17596045]

>>17594666
Fortunately I never touched this garbage. I tried to read his other series. The prism or whatever. Dropped it about halfway through. He writes like someone who spent most of his adult life as a bartender would.

[Anonymous No.17596068]

>>17594751
Almost as bad as rothfuss except rothfuss has decent prose.

[Anonymous No.17596087]

>>17595623
it's a obvious troll

[Anonymous No.17596092]

>>17595397
>ajar door
You’re a terrible writer. Don’t ever give anyone advice again

[Anonymous No.17596100]

>>17596092
y tho.

[Anonymous No.17596118]

>>17596068
what exactly are you criticizing here?

[Anonymous No.17596192]

>>17595838
Imagine being filled with impotent rage over a fun season. Your life sounds sad, dude. Try lifting weights and see if it improves your mood

[Anonymous No.17596193]

Read Piranesi.

[Anonymous No.17596205]

>>17595868
They just think you're autistic
and possibly dangerous.

[Anonymous No.17596214]

>>17595902
>he thinks the anti-maskers are the mongoloids
Lmaoing at your life

[Anonymous No.17596221]

>>17595991
Is this... bakker related? If so, cringe

[Anonymous No.17596232]

>>17596001
>he fell for the memes
you're in for a lot of homo lust, BLACK magic, and cuckoldry. Where will your investment be then, gay boy?

[Anonymous No.17596243]

>>17596045
>"who spent most of his adult life as a bartender would"
>places himself in charge of judging other's writing

[Anonymous No.17596248]

>>17596092
This.

[Anonymous No.17596261]

>>17596232
>you're in for a lot of homo lust, BLACK magic, and cuckoldry. Where will your investment be then, gay boy?

[Anonymous No.17596262]

>>17596243
Your writing is shit Brent. Go back to making rum and cokes.

[Anonymous No.17596269]

>>17596087
Wishful thinking. Check his profile. Typical American intellect on display.

[Anonymous No.17596291]

>>17594826
He writes a lot of funny jokes.

[Anonymous No.17596351]

>>17595623
desu I have to admit I was completely filtered by Lovecraft when I first tried reading him as a 12 year old kid, he was the first kinda literary writer I tried after Tolkien

[Anonymous No.17596401]

>>17595991
the absolute state

[Anonymous No.17596406]

>>17592069
Damn I love those old pulpy covers

[Anonymous No.17596428]

>>17595623
The first time I read Lovecraft I thought Abdul Alhazred was a real person and the Necronomicon was a real book.

Boy was I a disappointed 12 year old when I found out neither was real

[Anonymous No.17596431]

>>17596351
Huh, weird I was just about to bring up
I read Lovecraft at like 12 as an ESL with no comprehension problems, original English, obviously. I can even remember the language being hard, just that the stories were boring
..and I'm retarded
so I really can't sympathize with how people that grew up with the langue having any issues

[Anonymous No.17596432]

[Anonymous No.17596459]

>>17596092
correctamundo
>>17596100
It sounds fucking stupid and jarring. Needlessly purple when nothing else is.

[Anonymous No.17596495]

>>17596459
*shrugs* don't feel that way. maybe because i'm ESL and maybe i'm tasteless or even retarded

[Anonymous No.17596610]

any good fantasy for/by italians

[Anonymous No.17596677]

>>17596610
uhhh tigana?

[Anonymous No.17596698]

>shill, shill!
>you've got to bleed for the janny.

[Anonymous No.17597101]

>>17596193
okay, next up

[Anonymous No.17597118]

>>17595838
Weird, I like all those things! Winter is practically my favorite season, though I like all of them almost equally.

[Anonymous No.17597123]

Threadly reminder to read Bakker. Start with The Darkness That Comes Before. The Second Apocalypse series is part of the /sffg/ canon. Not understanding Bakker memes renders you blind to most of the relevant discussion that goes on here.

[Anonymous No.17597131]

Hard magic makes up just as many protagonist power asspulls as a softer system. There is no substitute for discipline when avoiding speshul power moments.

[Anonymous No.17597138]

>>17597131
No shit, there's no such thing as "hard" in a book, it's literally fiction!

[Anonymous No.17597139]

>>17595358
>and and and and
dude learn some full stops

[Anonymous No.17597156]

Reminder that this happened.

[Anonymous No.17597260]

I want to make a chart based on some criteria but I don't want to make a poll since I think everyone should get a chance to name whatever they say, so please go ahead.
>best book/series with a well-developed antagonist
>best book/series with an uncharacteristic/unique protagonist
>best book/series with a non-human protagonist
>best book/series with a female protagonist/antagonist
>best book/series with a perfectly wrapped-up and satisfying ending
>best book/series with worldbuilding that isn't tolkienesque
>best book/series that was severely fucked-up (rape, torture, etc.)
>best book/series with well described combat/action scenes
>best book/series with gorgeous prose
and now for the reverse
>best book/series with a good plot/world/prose but ruined by a shitty protagonist
>best book/series with a great starting premise and cool characters that went fucking NOWHERE
>worst book/series where it's clear the character is just writing a self-insert to make all his fantasies come true
>best series that got worse with every release till it went from great to awful

I await your, I'm sure, very thoughtful responses.

[Anonymous No.17597392]

>>17594962
At least he's honest unlike the Dunning-Kruger midwits posting itt

[Anonymous No.17597420]

>>17595476
I liked the Southern Reach but I still don't know what the fuck was going on.

[Anonymous No.17597431]

>>17595838
>>I hate my glasses fogging up the minute I set foot outside, blinding me wherever I go
lmao nerd

[Anonymous No.17597546]

>>17597260
>best book/series with a non-human protagonist
If short stories count, They're Made Out of Meat by Terry Bisson

>best book/series with a perfectly wrapped-up and satisfying ending
LOTR

>best book/series with worldbuilding that isn't tolkienesque
Cadwal Chronicles. The vignette approach to world building is as far you can get from Tolkien and is some of Vance's best. It's light and fun and often do outlandish that it wraps back around into being believable

[Anonymous No.17597688]

>>17596610
specifically tailored for italians/italian market?

[Anonymous No.17597754]

>big fan of Harry Potter
>big fan of ASoIaF
>big fan of Wheel of Time
>friend recommends Stormlight Archives for my next big fantasy epic
I'm about 20 chapters in and... I don't get it. It's just so dull. Brandon is a great writer and you can tell he's constantly avoiding the traditional traps fantasy writers fall into, but the plot itself and characters are just... dull. I get Kaladdin is broken or whatever but all the other characters except for Shallan are so damn boring. WoT had so many OHSHIT moments and this one just doesn't have it so far at least.

Anyway, does it get better?

[Anonymous No.17597926]

>>17596092
Not gonna make it.
Literally.

[Anonymous No.17597935]

>>17596092
I’m guessing you’re troubled that some people have a more extensive vocabulary than you.

It’s rather pathetic, ngl.

[Anonymous No.17597945]

>>17596092
Don’t tell me your this guy?>>17594962

[Anonymous No.17597956]

>17597156
>le epic reddit moment XD

[Anonymous No.17597957]

>>17597754
>big fan of Harry Potter
oof

[Anonymous No.17597969]

>>17597956
Oh no no no no no no

[Anonymous No.17597974]

>>17596221
No, it’s Sanderson related. Your favourite writer.

Yikes!

[Anonymous No.17598002]

>>17597754
>Anyway, does it get better?
No, and I'll never forgive Sando for fucking up the final WoT books either. Fuck him. I liked those books, had fun reading them, and he comes in and hoovers out everything that made them enjoyable.

[Anonymous No.17598038]

>>17597956
It’s no wonder you wrote that.

[Anonymous No.17598056]

>>17597123
inaccurate chart

[Anonymous No.17598060]

>>17597156
LMAO

[Anonymous No.17598067]

>>17597754
>Brandon is a great writer and you can tell he's constantly avoiding the traditional traps fantasy writers fall into
?????????????????
lol

[Anonymous No.17598072]

>>17597754
>big fan of Wheel of Time
How embarassing

[Anonymous No.17598074]

>>17598072
>>17598067
This

[Anonymous No.17598084]

This is from the new witcher game, but it reminds me of scalpers or Ordealmen fighting Sranc.

[Anonymous No.17598204]

>>17595197
The dunyain are a sect that built their ideology on deliberate ignorance and false axioms. I think some people don't realize that, because dunyain kinda sound like fedora tipping rationalists.

>>17595220
That scene is still confusing to me. People say different things about what actually happens there, so I'm not the only one. For example whether pulling out the heart is his first genuine miracle, ie something done with divine powers, as opposed to magic or mundane trickery.

[Anonymous No.17598273]

>>17596432
a better version

[Anonymous No.17598277]

>>17598084
what new witcher game?

[Anonymous No.17598288]

>>17595138
Make an implicated sex scene.

[Anonymous No.17598289]

R8 my prose please

The crowd gathered hushed in the old hall. The air was thick with incense smoke, the sweet of oadwood and the musk of leather. The polished limestone arches of the hall swam with the glow of the glass lanterns that illuminated the empty stage. The instruments were arranged elegantly asymmetrical in the plane, pure and stark, like figures in a landscape painting, or votive objects on the shelf of an ancestor’s tomb. The harp, sinuous and curving as a wave. The bass cithara, almost absurd in its size, so long and deep as to dwarf the human figure, lathed in sheaves of strings, studded with innumerable spheres: tuning pegs of black ebony, from the size of pinhead to the size of an autumn apple. The tambours like huge silver kettles, their mallets neatly folded atop their taut skins. And the bells, rows upon rows of them arrayed upon their flintwood racks, sparkling and iridescent, blue and tumescent as a dragonfly’s wing.

Istreya sipped her flute of nectar, felt the glow of the sparkling libation rush through her body, a warm and dizzy surge. The light of the glass lanterns seemed to flare brighter, then dim. The sussurus in the great hall softened. A collective intake of breath as the crowd fell quiet. One by one, the musicians emerged from the darkness behind the stage and took their places with their instruments.

Menelca, master of the cithara, struck the first note: so deep it pricked skin, thrummed innards. Istreya could feel the hall swallow as if of one throat. The harpist held her instrument to her body, strummed an enigmatic chord that arched atop the cithara’s depth. As gentle as a midwife, the bellist lifted her mallets, struck the glassy panoply; their vibrating peals tingled eardrums like globules of glimmering rain. The musicians seemed turned inward, away from themselves and the world, their eyes unseeing, lost in a greater mystery.

The melody took hold of the hearts of all those listening: unknown yet familiar in some intrinsic way. Chords and scales of arcane elegance, overlapping friezes of jewel-like tones and unearthly harmonies, at once sardonic in their pastiche, yet simple in their melody, and deeply moving. A song to the silence of God, to the beauty and the torture of the world. It was a hymn, yet it bore an evil radiance; it was a song of love, and therefore of loss. The music stirred spirits, tugged at the hems of souls. The sorcery had begun.

[Anonymous No.17598296]

>>17598289
Who are you trying to imitate

[Anonymous No.17598309]

>>17598296
Imitate? No one, but my influences should be apparent to anyone well-read.

[Anonymous No.17598312]

>>17598289
bad/10
has no sense of rhythm and you are trying way too hard

[Anonymous No.17598356]

>>17596261
does it trouble you?

[Anonymous No.17598373]

>>17598312
Okay, hmm.. but how does one try to not try hard?

[Anonymous No.17598426]

>>17598289
Your vocabulary is certainly large, but the passage is over-written. There are too many flourishing metaphors and it makes it a chore to read. They would be appropriate for an emotionally climactic scene (and maybe this is, but there's no way to determine that reading the passage by itself), but you're describing the beginning of a concert and I don't know why you're making such a big deal about it. I've seen symphonies, concertos, operas, and I don't know anyone who obsesses over everything around them the way Istreya is here. Again, I don't really know anything about her, maybe she's a musician, maybe she's an interior decorator, maybe she was in charge of setting the stage for the evening, but in the passage as I read it, it seems like an overreaction to the scene.

Some specific things:
>The crowd gathered hushed
the hushed crowd gathered
>thick with incense smoke
I know how incense works, you don't need to say smoke
>votive objects on...
Is Istreya thinking about dead relatives? Why this comparison?
>so long and deep as to dwarf the human figure
If there's nobody on stage yet how do we know that
>innumerable spheres
They're not innumerable, and this is a really weird way to describe a stringed instrument
>blue and tumescent as a dragonfly’s wing
Just delete this
>felt the glow of the sparkling libation rush through her body, a warm and dizzy surge
You're not writing an advertisement, nobody likes champagne this much
>struck the first note
I guess this technically works but you play this by plucking, right, not striking?
>strummed an enigmatic chord
Unless the music is deliberately atonal, you don't want your chords to be enigmatic, do you? Maybe that's what this is supposed to be, but there are so many gratuitous metaphors that I can't tell whether Istreya can determine what notes are in this chord or not.

[Anonymous No.17598448]

>>17598373
I'm not sure. Read more, I guess, and read authors that don't use much purple prose. For example, here
>The instruments were arranged elegantly asymmetrical in the plane, pure and stark, like figures in a landscape painting, or votive objects on the shelf of an ancestor’s tomb.
This is so fucking much for just one sentence. First of all
>elegantly asymmetrical
just sounds bad. But there's just a lot of information here for what's ultimately a probably completely irrelevant passage for the story. You wanted to say they're like figures in a landscape painting, stick with that. Or stick with the ancestor's tomb. The comparison is supposed to get an emotive response out of the reader, but the two you used directly conflict. And if you do use the latter, you don't need to ALSO mention that they are pure and stark, that kind of goes with the example...
You're just overloading the reader with a lot of information that serves no real purpose. And your sentences in general from the first paragraph have a problem of not getting tied together all that well in a natural flow. It reads too much like a police description
>She had brown hair. Her tits were big. She wore a MARVEL shirt that was stained at the back.
and it's made worse by your other attempts to appear lyrical.
I would suggest as a challenge that you select the things you find most relevant out of that paragraph and try to write it down as a single sentence that has a clear structure.

[Anonymous No.17598597]

>>17598289
When you're describing a scene, you either list the different aspects of it if it's really important to describe the world, or you arrive at a crescendo. Those are the only 2 options you should ever use when going scene description mode.
Seeing as your goal here is to show the power and awe of this concert, you used the first method when you really should use the second method. Why? Because your goal here is (I assume) the emotion of the concert, rather than the concert characteristics itself.

So how do you use the crescendo method? Start off with light descriptors so that readers blitz through the scene itself, and only start with the complicated vocab and metaphors when you get to the really emotional parts of the scene.

[Anonymous No.17598626]

>>17595674
?

[Anonymous No.17598661]

>>17598448
>>17598597

Thanks for your in-depth response, Anons. To clarify: Istreya is a singer and is witnessing an exclusive, once in a lifetime performance of the great musicians of her time. There is a whole scene of build-up preceding this passage, where she enters the hall, tries to find a place to stand, greets her friends, etc. Also, in my setting, music has a semi-sorcerous power; it's more than entertainment or art, and I wanted to convey its spiritual power.

This is my first time writing in a long while so I am a bit rusty. Need to go back and trim it down – you're right, I do overload the descriptors in some places. But I also want my prose to feel enchanting and dreamlike, not mundane... any recommendations for authors who can do this without straying into the purple?

[Anonymous No.17598737]

>>17598661
I'm >>17598426, your explanation does clarify things, thank you. The way I see it, 90% of prose should be prosaic, that way when you get to this kind of lavish detail it feels special, and earned. It's like making a sandwich, it can't all be the good bits in the middle, it needs some bread on either side to balance it out and make it easier to eat.

[Anonymous No.17598845]

What are some books with lovely illustrations? Lord Dunsany comes to mind.

[Anonymous No.17598900]

>>17596118
I wager he doesn't fancy "the thinking man's fetish".
Don't thank me, I'm always glad to help.

[Anonymous No.17598941]

>>17593773
Is he having a laugh or is he taking this seriously. Can't tell from this small excerpt.

[Anonymous No.17598982]

>>17598072
Call it by its proper name Anon, it's Waste of Time

[Anonymous No.17599150]

>>17599147

>>17599147

>>17599147

>>17599147

>>17599147

[Anonymous No.17599212]

The more I write, the more I understand how easy Bakker's prose was to write.
>Copypaste KJV, Silmarillion, Crusades, Cormac McCarthy, and Wikipedia-tier philosophical passages into your setting for instant plotting, depth, and "impress 'em" factor.
>Sherlock Holmes effect: Kellhus always knows best, is always able to persuade others, always commands respect, because that's what the author wants.
>Grimdark gambit: when in doubt, just resort to the most horrific scenario possible.
>Betrayal plotting: 90% of relationships in the books revolve around betrayal and manipulation, some characters leveraging their power to gain something from others. It lends itself to shallow and boring characters.
I love Bakker, and shill him frequently in these threads, but let's be real guys, he's just a little bit of a hack. He's much smarter than a tard like Sandersoom, but he isn't a literary genius like Borges or Joyce... even though he thinks he is, and apparently most of the posters here do too.

[Anonymous No.17599219]

>>17599212
>I love Bakker, and shill him frequently in these threads

[Anonymous No.17600122]

>>17598737
I don't think being enchanting and dreamlike has anything to do with choosing pretentious wording. Blood Meridian is pretty dreamlike (or nightmarish, if you prefer?) but McCarthy's writing for the most part is incredibly simplistic.

[Anonymous No.17600134]

>>17600122
Is it that the vocabulary is pretentious, or that it's just above your reading comprehension level?

[Anonymous No.17600361]

>>17594725
There's nothing wrong with numbers 4, 5, and 6 though. 4 is a structural choice, 5 is a plot device, and big titties are kino.