ITT: HS teacher trying to get kids into /lit/

[Anonymous No.17388021]

>Now some of you may not know this but Ol' Billy Shakes isn't just some irrelevant, wack-ass dead old white guy
>He was HIP, he was w i t h i t, he was basically an O.G. rapper
>Don't believe me? Listen to this:

>Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
>Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
(...)
>So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
>So long lives THIS, and THIS gives life to t h e e.

>I mean...yeah...just bars

Could you do this with ANY author/philosopher?

[Anonymous No.17388113]

>>17388021
How the fuck would a teacher go about getting kids into this lil nigga?

[Anonymous No.17388686]

>>17388021
>He was HIP, he was w i t h i t, he was basically an O.G. rapper
>I mean...yeah...just bars
You are the type of teacher that I would have absolutely despised in school.

[Anonymous No.17388744]

>>17388021
The Wind in the Willows is a good text for younger individuals to get into lit

[Anonymous No.17388767]

>>17388113
There's a whole tv show that's basically OP's premise but with ethics called The Good Place.

[Anonymous No.17388834]

HS kids love transcendentalism, so Emerson isn't a hard sell

[Anonymous No.17388872]

You can't get fade cut, trap listening dumbfucks into anything but funny/shock value books by blabbering for 3h/week. Nerds are gunners who mostly care about easy grades, niceness and ability to gossip during class in that order.
Have neat notes, be depressed funny and treat them as "colleagues", give a few easy grades to the nerds and if anyone reads ahead or borrows books from the library act shocked and compliment them to raise their ego if you want to raise good readers.

[Anonymous No.17389007]

I taught Shakespeare to high school kids. The idea of comparing Shakespeare to rap culture frankly repulses me. Basically I just did it like I was delivering a university lecture. The kids seemed bored at first but then started getting into the material. Basically I just gave historical context and explained tropes. If there was something unclear Shakespeare was referencing or getting at, I walked them through it. I gave short summaries after each stanza of what was going on if I thought the language was too obscure for them. We watched movie versions. They all clued in by then and loved the movies. I made one anime reference that slipped out by accident that surprised the kids and got a laugh. I never tried to be funny or hip or appeal to their interests, but they found humor in some of the stuff I said anyway. I had to bail on the contract after a semester. On my last day the kids clapped for me and one girl cried. Fuck teachers who try to relate to urban or youth culture.

[Anonymous No.17389027]

>>17388872
This

Nearly every kid isn't that much of a reader, but if you do manage to find some always treat them as if they were special and they will continue reading.

[Anonymous No.17389090]

>>17389007
Based

[Anonymous No.17389094]

EVERY book that a normal person (i.e., not future teachers and other human failures) reads in high school will burn the author for the student forever. I hate every single book and author I was forced to read, completely independent whether the books are good or not.

[Anonymous No.17389127]

>>17389007
You got my crying with this post, anon. Take care.

[Anonymous No.17389201]

>>17388021
why does this hypothetical HS teacher sound like a parody of a twink parodying a wigger?

[Anonymous No.17389208]

>>17389007

[Anonymous No.17389238]

>A freeman ought not to be a slave in the acquisition of knowledge of any kind. Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.
Structured compulsory schooling is a fool's errand.

[Anonymous No.17389338]

>>17389007
based teacher, god bless

[Anonymous No.17389454]

>>17389007
Based

[Anonymous No.17389473]

>>17389238
>plebs should be dumb forever
why?

[Anonymous No.17390063]

>>17389473
Nobody said that, but you sure as fuck will be.

[Anonymous No.17390457]

>>17390063
Listen here bitch, compulsory education is the only way we can get these idiots to start believing in science like evolution and climate change.
Admittedly, if you didn't understand science (like even just a little bit) concepts like
>man comes from apes
and
>if you don't turn off your light at night, drive less and vote this way you will litterally be responsible for Earth heating up, forests burning, nations flooding and the great mass of creatures of the world dying out in the future.
would make no sense because of how unintuitive they are. Even flat-earth bullshit would sound appealing to these uneducated plebs
>Duh, loOKs FlaT toO Me
That's why we need to indoctrinate them into scientific beliefs when they are young. This will get them to start being skeptical of the prejudices and unscientific ideas of their hick parents.
Vaccines, Masks, Climate-change, Evolution, Globe Earth, all that good stuff, are in danger NOW. Imagine if people were MORE stupid.
Also I'm sure a few plebs become enlightened when they listen to Bach, read Shakespeare, and look at a da Vinci for the first time. If they didn't have that avenue to become educated through compulsion they wouldn't have become > or = midwit level.

[Anonymous No.17391067]

My favorite professor in school was a chain-smoking classicist who would go on tangents about European literature and Jewish connections to the banking industry. Once a girl showed up to class high and he scolded her to the point that she fled the room sobbing and never came back again. After every lecture he would throw his feet up on his desk and smoke an e-cigarette through an open window while staring dreamily at the horizon.

Be like him. Don't try to dumb your material down to appeal to what you think kids think is cool. People hate being appealed to. Treat your students like they are lucky to have you as a professor, and treat your material like the powerful tool it is. You literally have a free pass to shape the psyche of an entire generation of young people and indoctrinate them with your opinions, own it.

[Anonymous No.17391101]

>>17388021
This is disraceful for the kids, for you and for shakesoeare. Just give them what it is, explain why it is intersting, why di they read it. Its not just a dumb imposition, its a peak of human creation, theres not a lot of thing more intersting than that, those that like it will like it this way, thlse that dont will maybe get to it when they are older, those that dont will maybe have children that understand it, because its own value is what makes it worthy, theres no need to lure people in with that nonsense.

[Anonymous No.17391122]

>>17390457
uh, if u teach the masses how statistics work, u won't be able to scare them to death next time there's a bad cold season

[Anonymous No.17391126]

>>17388021
Ok OP i get that youre a good guy trying to do a good thing, but some of the larger children would feel justified with raping you in the parking lot and thats something your friends at lit will tell you every day of the week

[Anonymous No.17391134]

>>17388113

mine did it for me by lending me a copy of the Introduction to Logic, and later the Prolegomena

I was in GATE though, so my teacher wasn't jaded by the necessity of catering to the proclivities of subhumans

[Anonymous No.17391149]

>>17389007
This is exactly the method I used when I tutored math for high schoolers. The other people at the tutoring place tried to be "cool" and "fun" and I basically just taught the fucking material. I was told later that I was basically the student favorite.

It's almost like these kids can handle this stuff and are tired of being condescended to and indoctrinated by the education system.

[Anonymous No.17391159]

>>17389027
American public schooling is focused on bringing up the rear not encouraging the standouts.

[Anonymous No.17391182]

>>17391159
Very true. That's why you gotta get the jobs in private/Catholic schools and just ignore the retarded kids like professors do.

[Anonymous No.17391209]

>>17388686
This. The students should strive to get on their teacher's level and the teacher's shouldn't lower himself to his students' level.

[Anonymous No.17391235]

>>17389027
I am aware that some teachers did this to me and I am grateful to them since it did make me a reader but at the same I am ashamed of it making me so proud at the time while they knew and I knew that a was just an arrogant nerd. I sometimes think about it even though it was many, many years ago.

[Anonymous No.17391468]

>>17389238
That man wanted schooling in his society though. He wanted a whole class of philosophers.

[Anonymous No.17391521]

>>17390457
Post nose

[Anonymous No.17391543]

>i think you kids will relate to anne frank, much like you, she spent her days locked inside a room and masturbating!

[Anonymous No.17391591]

>>17388021
Beowulf and knights stories never fail to get the boys attentionthen move on with more drama like lamps to a slaughter. Idk for girls they really seemed to like that civil rights shit so just dumb whatever shit comes from it.

[Anonymous No.17391599]

>>17388872
This nearly every kid is fade might as well be dead and any ghetto kid too.

[Anonymous No.17391606]

>>17391543
Lol, good one. It's also a good idea to say that it is a work of fiction. That's what I always whenever I teach the holocaust to kids.

[Anonymous No.17391681]

>>17391543
>Epic Rap Battles of History
>Anne Frank vs Bobby Franks

[Anonymous No.17391740]

>>17391543
Imagine the smell in that attic. If I were a nazi officer that found her, I’d keep her hidden and return to use her as a fuckdoll every night. I’d pinch her long, Jewish nose and say “vat now juden? I hav your noze” while creaming her with my 6.5” aryan supercock.

[Anonymous No.17391859]

>>17391468
Not forcefully imposed, but delicately fostered.

[Anonymous No.17391870]

it is literally impossible to get the majority of young people today interested in literature. their brains are too destroyed from constant overstimulation.

[Anonymous No.17391914]

>>17391740
Painfully based

[Anonymous No.17391924]

>>17388021
>Romeo & Juliet
Synopsis framing it as a gang war might help sell the lie that they’ll get anything of use out of it. Stop trying and figure out what if any adjacent interests they have — grammar/syntactic breakdowns of rhythm and meter in hip hop might actually spark a light if they get a glimpse under the composition hood

[Anonymous No.17391933]

>So you guys put the STUD in student, huh?
>No rules in this class. No rules. Okay, one rule, no throwing paper airplanes at me while I'm turned around.
>Okay I know this is first period, but let's treat it like an exclamation point.
>So Tybalt's all pissed off, right, and he wants to 'pop a Capulet'
>Our next book is The Outsiders, so we're gonna read it OUTSIDE
>Y'know what? Just tear your covers off. Tear em right off, you gonna judge a book by that shit?
>Things aren't so good at home
>So Gatsby lives in West Egg, which is next to East Sperm. Haha, figured I'd say it before you guys did.
>Hamlet, to be or not to be, am I right? Who cares? Prom's coming up, you guys going?
>What's the policy on sleeping here?
>Okay, improv game. You play Macbeth, you play Colin Mochrie, you're both pirates in a bowling alley, you can only speak in rhymes, you're a turtle.
>You guys think you're rebels? I'll tell you about some rebels. George Orwell. Mark Twain. The Marquis de Sade.

[Anonymous No.17391989]

>>17391933
>Let's put the hairy in literhairy, I haven't shaved in weeks!
>Olly olly oxen free! Come to my office and we can look up what that means.
>I know what kids your age think about Shakespeare. He's old, he's dead, he's history. Past tense! We should call him Shookspeare, that spear's been shook! So WE'VE gotta be the real spear shakers.
>So all of that combines to form "Contemporary... Literature, or C.LIT."
>My wife filed for a "formal legal separation", which is technically not a divorce
>What's up, Mr. G is back and BETTER THAN EZRA
>Let's. Get. BRAINGEROUS.
>Today, I'm gonna teach you guys to read inside the lines. It's all blank space, you'll be done in like three seconds.
>A Thousand Splendid Suns? Ha, one's fine, thanks.
>Vocab flash cards, ready? Bing bang bong. Now you flash me.
>Catcher in the Rye, what's it really about? That's not a hypothetical question, I'm asking for a friend. 'A friend' is me. I've never read it. If I finish talking, there'll be dead silence and you'll all see how woefully unprepared I am, so now I'll list my favorite numbers. 1, 2, 3... 5... It's a funny story about 4, ask me sometime.
>Away on a freeway... No leeway.. I lay alone... Far from home... But do I lay or lie?... Hello, goodbye... We all lie to get paid... And I'd die to get laid... What'd'ya say?
>Who knows anything about divorcing your parents? I'll tell ya who knows a lot about it, My SON. Well, he's not really -- Elliot, he's just Elliot now.

[Anonymous No.17392003]

>>17391740
Seek help.

[Anonymous No.17392462]

>>17391933
>>17391989
Kek, what's this from?

[Anonymous No.17392491]

>>17388021
I had a boomer teacher who acted like this in college lit class who was fixated on 60's short stories, anything to do with the war in Vietnam.
In his defense though, most of the class were very "vibrant" and didn't give a fuck about the class, so he threw a lot of shit at the wall to get these 85IQ black teenagers 19 year olds interesting in reading boring short stories.

[Anonymous No.17393080]

>>17388021
We had a an Irish gen-x for GCSE English. He put us on to a lot of cool kitchen-sink stuff. There was a look of confusion when one of the books he gave us was "Cider With Rosie" so he alluded to us that it was about a guy hooking up with this hot redhead.
See also: Angela's Ashes

[Anonymous No.17393151]

>>17391521
Why? Everything I said was based.

[Anonymous No.17393179]

>>17391933
kek, amazing, absolutely amazing.

[Anonymous No.17393314]

>>17393151
Ok. Post nose

[Anonymous No.17393422]

>>17388021
Make tgem read book thief
Narrator is death
Great great second world war book for teens

[Anonymous No.17393423]

>>17393314
Don't know what this proves, I'm probably whiter than you.

[Anonymous No.17393446]

The circle jerk in this thread is pathetic.

Teaching is hard. You do the best you can.

[Anonymous No.17393485]

>>17390457
Already doesn't work.

[Anonymous No.17393510]

>>17393423
post snails

[Anonymous No.17393515]

>>17393314
Kids need to be indoctrinated into science and reality. Misconceptions about gender-science, race-science, etc. are another fucking thing that's fucking with our political system. If people where educated by professionals instead of /pol/ (like you probably are) racism would be less of an issue today and people like Trump wouldn't get elected. Kids are innocent, it's their fucked up parents and our shitty system that churns out retards who don't believe in the Holocaust, or Climate change, or Vaccines,etc., etc.
Honestly, I really just feel bad for you.

[Anonymous No.17393544]

>>17389007
Literally
>and then they all clapped

[Anonymous No.17393564]

>>17393510
>snails
Not French, I'm German American actually.
>inb4 mutt
Not trying to doxx myself but my name is literally Kaufmann lol (I'm basically the Aryan Übermensch of these pathetic neo-nazis' dream).

[Anonymous No.17393736]

>>17393544
Exactly.

I read Infinite Jest or Mythology while my middle school students read independently but that doesn’t make me any better than any other fucking teacher, and obviously you could make a pretty good argument it makes me worse. I’m trying to set an example, trying to find my own way. The idiots in this thread who think they know how to teach better than Ms. Sanderson down the hall with her colorful posters, scoffing because she is reading every teen trilogy from Divergent to Neil Schusterman, these people have no claim to superiority. They are fools.

[Anonymous No.17393758]

>>17393544
>>>/r/thatHappened/

[Anonymous No.17393776]

>>17393736
ms. sanderson sounds like a dumb bitch

[Anonymous No.17393835]

>>17393736
>>17393776
Gawwwwd, I want to fuck the hell out of Ms. Sanderson, even if shes a dumb bitch.

[Anonymous No.17393869]

>>17391521
>>17393314
>>>/pol/

[Anonymous No.17393877]

>>17393736

Mythology by Edith Hamilton? Don't get me wrong, I'm reading it too, but isn't it a highschool-level book anyways? I mean, it's a great book to introduce you to Greek myth (both in a meta-sense and in terms of various stories) but it's not exactly a complex read that requires you to be big brained. Midwit tier people can consume it pretty easily.

[Anonymous No.17393975]

>>17390457
you have to be 18 to post here

[Anonymous No.17394044]

>>17391933
>So Gatsby lives in West Egg, which is next to East Sperm
pottery

[Anonymous No.17394163]

>>17393975
I am way older than 18, lol.
I bet you're some Trump-loving, /pol/ browsing, teenage schmuck.

[Anonymous No.17394193]

>ol' billy shakes
that's Brother 'Speare to you, bitch

[Anonymous No.17394224]

>ITT: autist who think OP legitimately wanted advice on how to effectively teach kids literature instead of just meming.

[Anonymous No.17394236]

>>17394163
you sound like a fag

[Anonymous No.17394312]

>>17388021
>Ol' Billy Shakes isn't just some irrelevant, wack-ass dead old white guy
white is the connotation of white supposed to imply here? i truly never understood what relevancy his race is supposed to have

[Anonymous No.17394321]

>>17388021
we only read young adult novels in high school that were from the 1990s, we didn't even do Shakespeare and i am from an anglo country. when i heard from a latvian that he had to read 'all quiet on the western front' in high school it made me so angry and envious

[Anonymous No.17394326]

>>17394312

white means he is less cool and stuffy

[Anonymous No.17394348]

>>17394326
is that an actual connotation? i once heard a professor refer to the ancient greeks as 'dull white guys' and that annoys me too because outside of stereotypes that don't even make sense, their race doesn't tell you anything about them

[Anonymous No.17394363]

>>17394348
you're poppin off like some ol peckerwood. cry more, white bitch

[Anonymous No.17394366]

>>17394348

yeah that's it, white people are just seen as lame and passé

[Anonymous No.17394381]

>>17388021
>ITT: If my high-school teacher looked like that my fish brain would find it very distracting

[Anonymous No.17394414]

>>17388021
High school lit teacher must be the most frustrating job in the world. Kids dont read. They are just going to go on sparknotes and get some bullshit summary.

[Anonymous No.17394462]

>>17394414

Languages teacher is WAY worse

[puj No.17394468]

>>17390457
>"I fucking LOVE Scince!!!"

[Anonymous No.17394484]

>>17393564
>german word for chapman
>not jewish
hahaha

[Anonymous No.17394505]

>>17394462
ya its kind of hard to teach a language when the English courses only taught poetry and books so kids have no clue what you mean by sentence structure and grammar

[Anonymous No.17394510]

>Who knows anything about divorcing your parents? I'll tell ya who knows a lot about it, My SON. Well, he's not really -- Elliot, he's just Elliot now.
we all know where this Elliot is going to end up

[Anonymous No.17394520]

>>17394505

Yeah Grammar is unironically relevant, at least the basics. Kids don't understand sentence structures or adverbs or any basic shit. I remember a girl once said "Mi padre's casa" and the teacher was like "uhhh spanish doesn't really use apostrophes like that to indicate possession" and she didn't know what he meant

[Anonymous No.17394568]

>>17393485
But it could work if we just cared about it enough. A lot of schools in America are extremely underfunded (because of Republicans) and they teach stuff like evolution being just a "theory", or "abstinence", and there's a bias towards a christian god.
You're saying we should get rid of compulsory schools when we should really be making college free!
I've taught at High Schools before and the level of ignorance is astonishing.
For example, a few kids thought the Earth was flat, some kid thought Jesus was actually born of a virgin (and existed), and another person tried to argue with me that Mexicans where taking jobs from people (his dad voted for Trump). One day, I was talking about reparations and a kid said that "blacks should get reparations like the Jews did a long time ago and are still getting". He supported the right thing but for the wrong reasons, I sensed that it was motivated by some possibly anti-Semitic elements that he might have picked up somewhere which is extremely problematic. Our education should be stopping young impressionable people from thinking that way.
People wouldn't be as anti-scientific as they are now if we could get them from the crucial ages of 5 to 23. The people who advance onto colleges, where I've also taught, tend to become more enlightened about social issues, society, science, etc., even if they came from ignorant backgrounds. I know a lot of this is anecdotal but I genuinely believe this is what we as a society should be doing for everyone!

[Anonymous No.17394569]

>7th grade english
>doing plays, students being given talking roles for characters etc
>i get to be the main character
>girl in class is chosen to be my character's girlfriend
>"eeewww i don't want to be his girlfriend"
>everyone including the teacher burst out laughing
i am still haunted by this

[Anonymous No.17394579]

>>17394569
kek.
Are you still gross now or did you become a chad.

[Anonymous No.17394591]

>>17394579
i wasn't gross then. i was normal and i never did anything to anyone. i was an inbetweener some of chads or 'cool kids' in high school still somewhat respected me because of how good i was at Halo CE when we played it on LAN in the classrooms that had computers

[Anonymous No.17394600]

>>17394568
what is the point of that comic? political cartoonists are subhuman and provide nothing good to society

[Anonymous No.17394604]

>>17388021
>Teacher had a board where you'd get stars if you read a book and wrote a small paragraph about it
>I was the only one who read any books so she stopped doing it

[Anonymous No.17394605]

>>17394600
political cartoons are just political pornography

[Anonymous No.17394606]

>>17394568
i admire your dedication in trying to make a long shitpost but it falls flat because you made it too obvious

[Anonymous No.17394612]

>>17394569
>7th grade german
>make group of friends
>have to write a german play and act it out
>kid gets strep throat half way through
>end up performing the kommunistische käse fete with just me and one other guy
>have to squirt myself in the face with a water bottle to pretend it's rain
>get double cheese because the one kid wasn't there
i became the resident chef and brought in various german food goodies just because i got bored and the teacher tacked on 10 extra credit points each time i did it.

[Anonymous No.17394628]

>>17394604
>other student took too long trying to draw a small star next to her name
>kept rubbing it out and redrawing it to make it look perfect
>tell her she is taking too long to draw it
>she starts crying
>teacher removes all of my stars for making her cry
i fucking hated being a kid

[Anonymous No.17394655]

>>17394612
>german play
what does that mean?
>strep throat
what does that mean?
>kommunistische käse fete
what does that mean?
>get double cheese because the one kid wasn't there
why was there cheese? are you an ESL?

[Anonymous No.17394687]

>>17394600
It's a cartoon a teacher friend sent me a while back, I think it's pretty funny :^)
It only makes sense if you are aware of American politics from a while back though. American politics are so fucked up that when school shootings where happening basically ever other day, R*publicans said that teachers might have to carry guns to stop it from happening. I'm not even shitting you.
>>17394606
I'm not shitposting, some kids actually think like this, I'm not kidding.

[Anonymous No.17394701]

>>17394655
Not him but you don't know what strep throat is? Are you ESL?

[Anonymous No.17394736]

you can do better, buddy
>>17394701
never heard of strep throat before though now that i think about it i do know what a strepsil is

[Anonymous No.17394756]

>>17394687
you could do better
>>17394701
i have never heard 'strep throat' be used before, but i suppose that's where 'strepsil' comes from

[Anonymous No.17394895]

>>17391521
>>17393314
Fuck off back to /pol/ please.

[Anonymous No.17395698]

>>17394895
post feet

[Anonymous No.17395734]

>>17388021
I'd read the part of 100 Years of Solitude where Jose Arcadio fucks Rebeca

[Anonymous No.17396856]

>>17393877
You don’t understand. It’s just a different idea from anything most Ms. Sandersons spend their free time doing, like Pinterest, etc

[Anonymous No.17397020]

>>17395698
why? also no.

[Anonymous No.17397076]

>>17391740
>6.5”
>supercock
dicklet

[Anonymous No.17398408]

boomp

[Anonymous No.17398543]

>>17388021
just explain that Shakespeare isnt too high brow and its written for drunk retards and point out the dick jokes

[Anonymous No.17398564]

>>17394321
all quiet makes me wanna join a war and dies, seems fun
prolly wasnt the point of the book but oh well lol

[Anonymous No.17398583]

>>17398543
other ideas uhhhhhhh
idk real cool shit
we read no country for old men in 12th grade then watched the movie each friday lol...
we read heart of darkness then watched apocalypse now too
just read cool shit
in 8th grade we read the outsiders which, was really cool because we were from tulsa, and the book is set there, so like, if you have a book set in or around your local area then watch the movie after kids like that shit

maybe trainspotting and make kids try and read it outload in class kek

[Anonymous No.17398588]

https://vocaroo.com/1dnjxWNNQc25

[Anonymous No.17398593]

>>17398588
is this the spy

[Anonymous No.17398663]

yeah, i had a poor (white) university professor trying to tie in studies of contemporary poetry to rap, so he walked us through Made In America by Jay-Z and Kanye. No one was getting into it and it was really tense cause he would go line by line and whenever he came across the n-word, he would start stammering
>"a-and this word, y'know... uh is used of course as a statement on c-class and race inequality"
it was a shame, cause he wasn't a terrible teacher. he was pretty young, and from the south, so it wasn't unbelievable that he would be listening to rap. this was the only time everyone was really not feeling the lecture.