/wg/ - Writing General

[Anonymous No.17181750]

prev:>>17158553

Any progress on your novels?

For Prose:
>The Art of Fiction
>On Becoming A Novelist
>Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft
>How Fiction Works
>The Rhetoric of Fiction
>Steering the Craft

For Poetry:
>The Poetry Home Repair Manual
>Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry

Related Material:
>What Editors Do
>A Student's Introduction to English Grammar
>Garner's Modern English Usage

Suggested books on storytelling:
>The Weekend Novelist
>Aristotle's Poetics
>Hero With a Thousand Faces
>Romance the Beat

Suggested books on getting your fucking work done you lazy piece of shit:
>Deep Work
>Atomic Habits

Traditional publishing
> Formatting manuscript
https://blog.reedsy.com/manuscript-format/
> Write a query
https://www.janefriedman.com/query-letters/
> Track your query
https://querytracker.net/


Other Resources
>General grammar/syntax/editing help
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/purdue_owl.html
> When/where/how should I write?
https://jamesclear.com/daily-routines-writers
> What software should I write with?
https://self-publishingschool.com/book-writing-software-best/
> Amazon Publishing to make that KDP monie
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G200635650
> Be like Charles Dickens and write serially
https://www.royalroad.com/
> Basic overview of the Screenplay format
https://screenwriting.info/

[Anonymous No.17182096]

It was a summer afternoon on the cusp of an overdue slumber. The days had been too hot, and too long. From cursing the days in front: sweating under parasols, slapping stray mosquitoes and flies that would fly too close-by yet scream and run a dozen lengths away from any innocent bumblebees that searched to pollinate nearby; to cravings of one more day, or, perhaps a week, just to enjoy the end of the summer for a little while longer presented themselves as once frosty feelings melted away.
The sun beat heavily overhead casting a parting glance before it fell forlorn, its face would soon grow longer than the shadows creeping away from its brilliant rays and finally settle to hibernate behind a blanket of cloud and rain.
But for now, its face swelled onto the cherry tree above, onto hydrangeas (of pink, white, yellow,) below the kitchen windowsill onto green grass cut the day before last with the lingering scent of being freshly cut remaining just in time for summer’s end, and onto a little girl in the garden making daisy chains in a white polka dot dress humming along with the radio that played from the sill.
It was a good day. A bird flew overhead, soaring on a light breeze, up, up, up, and then darting down somewhere behind the house. The girl watched it, deciding she would like to be able to fly; she’d fly alongside the bird and then further then it would dare, beyond the grounds and beyond the place where her older brother was sent to school, so far that she’d touch the sun if she didn’t get too tired, and if she did happen to feel exhaustion, then she wouldn’t mind not seeing the sun up close for her eyes hurt when she looked at it anyway and she could actually fly.

wrote this as part of a longer piece a while ago; i'm going to change it all, hopefully my writing style has improved but here, any tips on how to make this better so i can learn for next time would be appreciated

[Anonymous No.17182839]

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain/chapter/598841/one

A seagull’s cry emanated from the pebbly Baywater shore. The setting sun seemed threatening, and the men looked to it, each in their own time. There were two-dozen, most over sixty years old, and for all but one it would be the last sunset they would ever see.

They moved inward from the pebbly beach, across a large section of overgrown shrubbery. The path hadn’t been trodden by so many boots in over a decade. The dockyard ahead of them had been a failure; the stone walls meant to house sailing vessels were built too narrow and the money from the mismanaged venture had run dry. There were three abandoned dockyards like this one. The leftmost of the three looked like the broken ruins of a coliseum, and the only way in was a large stone archway. One exception to the poverty stricken Baywater shore was the pier; sailboats frequently visited the pier and the bar at the farthest point. It had become a place where vagrants, criminals, and circus performers gathered in large numbers.

The men moved towards the stone structure, and five of them set down a large wooden crate. The others gathered around it. A pyrotechnist who had come to Baywater to ply his trade at the firework festival – which was subsequently cancelled on account of the blood-drinker attacks – opened the crate with a crowbar. He beamed with pride at the sight of his creations: fireworks. Big ones. Several days ago, a man had kept a blood-drinker from murdering his wife and child after throwing an oil can and a torch. The man died of his wounds shortly after, imparting vital knowledge of the blood-drinkers’ susceptibility to burning. The blood-drinker survived due to her quick decision to cut off her own arm. Had there been even one more fiery ember, perhaps there would be one less blood-drinker to contend with.

And now, the men had an entire arsenal of fireworks and flares at their disposal. They armed themselves, taking several fireworks each. The veteran soldiers of the group in their aged military attire formed their own team. The old fishermen formed another. One had brought along his trusty harpoon which he powdered at the tip. He would set it ablaze when the time was right. The remaining men were tradesmen fighting for their families, as familiar to Baywater as the sea, salt, and mud.

With Hress leading the way they moved as a united force through the stone prism entrance and into the abandoned dockyard. Near the back of the stone courtyard loomed an old rundown storage hut. Wisps of pestilent vapor seeped from the cracks in the windows and behind the hut. Dusk became night, the moon casting tall shadows in front of the wary men. That distant unseen seagull gave one final parting cry.

[Anonymous No.17182848]

>>17176560
Hurrah! Someone actually bought my book! and they haven't asked for a refund ... yet

[Anonymous No.17182910]

>>17181750

why the fuck is it only the manga loving fuck who keeps creating the threads? I can't find them anymore and have to ctrl+f wg since my brain delets manga automatically for me...

[Anonymous No.17182933]

>>17182096
opening sentence is kind of bad.

>it was a summer afternoon

it's like instant exposition to the face, and the overdue slumber is way more descriptive so there's a bit of a clash there.

>The days had been too hot, and too long.
good

>From cursing the days in front: sweating under parasols, slapping stray mosquitoes and flies that would fly too close-by yet scream and run a dozen lengths away from any innocent bumblebees that searched to pollinate nearby; to cravings of one more day, or, perhaps a week, just to enjoy the end of the summer for a little while longer presented themselves as once frosty feelings melted away.

ok I would have dropped the book at the point what the fuck is this abomination of a sentence, with semicolons and :, and before you say muh semicolon is a full stop it's all one thought.

>The sun beat

cliche but not that big a deal

>overhead
thanks, I thought it might be sitting on a bench!

>casting a parting glance before it fell forlorn, its face would soon grow longer than the shadows creeping away from its brilliant rays and finally settle to hibernate behind a blanket of cloud and rain

good but you could cut quite a few words here like finally and blanket of

>below the kitchen windowsill onto green grass cut the day before last with the lingering scent of being freshly cut remaining just in time for summer’s end

long ass sentence that's longer than it needs to be, probably a comma after grass as well

> little girl in the garden making daisy chains in a white polka dot dress humming along with the radio that played from the sill.

fat cliche but maybe that's what ur going for

>The girl watched it, deciding she would like to be able to fly

fatter cliche, and I don't think children think like this, they would know they can't get to the moon, and why would they want to, also she wouldn't "use" a word like exhaustion


TLDR: It's ok, it also seems like relatively pointless description, which is fine if the language is great, which it isn't

[Anonymous No.17183003]

>>17182933
thanks for the feedback fren

[Anonymous No.17183038]

>>17182933

based effortposter. People like you are the reason i still keep coming here. except for starting fights with people whose opinions differ from mine

[Anonymous No.17183093]

>>17183038
i'm going to bed now but i'll reply more tommorow, especially if you link something you want critiqued to this post or give some kind of brief explanation of what you are looking for or whatever

[Anonymous No.17183111]

>>17182848
Hey, I'm fucking proud of you. Kudos!

[Anonymous No.17183176]

does anybody know anything about writing nonfiction? criticism? help

[Anonymous No.17183362]

>>17183176
What sort of non-fiction are we talking about?

[Anonymous No.17183418]

>>17183111
:) Thanks!

Now that I'm finished with that non-fiction side project, I can continue with Blackula

[Anonymous No.17183502]

>>17183418
What was the non-fiction piece about?

[Anonymous No.17184177]

My Professor told me that when writing fiction, you should aim to write dialogue in a way that would feel would be overbearingly long or unrealistically long in real life, and that the fiction audience desires much more substance than the small talk/shallow conversations/exchanges we have in real-life. This made a-lot of sense to me and it helped.

[Anonymous No.17184184]

>>17181750
you trying to write a sequel to lolita?

[Anonymous No.17184189]

>>17184177
Basically, writing "realistic" dialogue may not be what you want, because "realistic" dialogue is often trite, easy and shallow, and that given the opportunity to enhance our real-life dialogue in fiction, you should.

[Anonymous No.17184222]

>>17184177
I think it's less that the dialogue should be overly long but that it should convey a lot more in a shorter space of time than it would in real life.

[Anonymous No.17184247]

>>17183502
Hospital economics

I'm taking training classes and converting my notes into """books""". It's not exactly my field, but what can I do until I get the vaccine? Assuming the vaccine works ...

[Anonymous No.17184290]

>>17181750
Wow those are some sassy ゴミ lolis you got there OP.

[Anonymous No.17184370]

>>17184290
What are those Japanese girls saying? I can't read moonrunes

[Anonymous No.17184393]

Too meta?

[Anonymous No.17184437]

>>17184393
Just boring

[Anonymous No.17184453]

>>17184437
Good, I want it to sound boring

[Anonymous No.17184472]

>>17184393
You write well. Sounds natural, at least. I hate writing dialogue.

[Anonymous No.17184485]

I've been shitting on self-publishing for a while now but I think it might be my only path forward. Just now I saw something an agent posted that made me think my story is unpublishable.

I think it would do better among the general public but there's no way something as edgy as my story will pass the gate, especially since it's YA. It has a strong premise that immediately catches your attention, but it is edgy as fuck at the same time.

[Anonymous No.17184625]

>>17184453
The whole thing is boring, not just the intentionally boring bit.

[Anonymous No.17184643]

>>17184625
That's okay anon. I'm confident if you'd read the preceding four chapters you would be enthralled :-)

[Anonymous No.17184739]

>Want to write book in first person
>Get filtered because I still want to be able to show what's going on in other parts of the world
>Add second POV character to give outside perspective
>Suddenly feels like I'm just writing two separate books and mashing them together
>Having characters meet means that the switching pov is pointless
I think I'm too much of a brainlet for this, anons.

[Anonymous No.17184753]

Anyone have experience with hiring proof readers and editors for your own money? I'm considering this as a first step in self publishing, but i'm not sure since it will prolly cost me $1000+.

My fear is that since my book isn't intended to be a best-seller and is kinda slow, without going into character's motivations and stuff they'll misunderstand this as lack of talent and tell me to change this. Which i have no intention of doing....

oh fuck it, you get what i'm after. tl;dr - is it worth it?

[Anonymous No.17184775]

>>17184739
The switching of POV was not worthless, and it can be very fun for the reader to take on one of the two POV if they both meet, especially if there is some kind of misunderstanding or unease about the situation. Keep going, getting better is about pushing past your current skill level and comfort zone and risking making something terrible. You'll at least get to learn from the experience

[Anonymous No.17184791]

>>17184739

why is the first person POV so important? why do you need to add outside perspective? Can you add the outside perspective through a conversation the MC overhears or is part of?

Old advice that often rings true: don't be afraid to kill your darlings. Maybe a first person POV isn't right for this book. Or having other characters mashed into the book is wrong. or perhaps having two different first person views will give the reader a great explanation to why one person seemingly was a retard but was actually reasonable and your book will btfo everyone and you will make many dollars!

[Anonymous No.17184804]

>>17184753
If you're hiring an editor, you can veto whatever they say, and you can set guidelines and give them explanations as to why things are a certain way. They work for you, instead of working for a publisher who wants to modify your work to fit their requirements.

But it's definitely not worth it. Your book won't make the $1k back unless you are a one-in-a-thousand case. You'll also have to promote your book to achieve this, which will end up costing more than $1k.

[Anonymous No.17184896]

>>17184804

thanks! I have no intention of making money off my book, i just want it to be out there.

i guess rephrasing the question would be: can editors and other proffessionals give advice that are good in a non mainstream kind of way?
Anyone got any experience with this?

And thanx again for replying anon dude.

[Anonymous No.17184922]

>>17184753
There's actually a post about this in r/selfpublish. The consensus was that if you have good grammar and spelling skills, getting an editor isn't cost effective. The reason that traditional authors use editors is because it's included in the package, ie, it's free to them, so of course they always say that you must have an editor

> inb4 you have to go back

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfpublish/comments/koc4qg/i_cant_justify_hiring_an_editor/

[Anonymous No.17184929]

>>17184922

thanks!

[Anonymous No.17185067]

/wg/, i need help planning out my sequels but I don't know who to go to. My family doesn't understand my story and my writing group doesn't care

[Anonymous No.17185086]

>>17184625
Every book has it's boring parts

[Anonymous No.17185090]

>>17185067
Gib link to first story

[Anonymous No.17185115]

>>17184625
This is the opening to one of the most critically acclaimed novels of the last 5 years, shortlisted for the booker prize, sold millions of copies and adapted into a successful miniseries. Would you say it's that much more interesting?

[Anonymous No.17185123]

>>17185115
it's not published and I'm not posting it

[Anonymous No.17185126]

>>17184739
On the note of POV I would have a question.

I write my novel out of the view of the MC but there are times where the MC is not present and I would like to switch to the POV of a side character, for maybe only half a chapter even.

How could I do that elegantly?

[Anonymous No.17185133]

>>17185123
fuck, meant to (You) >>17185090

[Anonymous No.17185140]

>>17185115
is that really? where the fuck are the quotation marks

[Anonymous No.17185150]

>>17185140
Yeah, it's the start of normal people. Whole novel is like that. She was trying to imitate Joyce without the em dashes

[Anonymous No.17185158]

>>17185133
Ok, we'll help you plot your sequels without knowing anything about your first book. Initiating Vulcan mind reading sequence

[Anonymous No.17185319]

>>17185115
No, this is also boring. But that's no excuse, is it? Though, as others have pointed out, there's nothing wrong with a boring contextless excerpt.

[Anonymous No.17185336]

>>17185158
lmao

[Anonymous No.17185346]

Anyone on RR? I'll give a follow, read your work, and give a truthful rating; in turn I'd like you to do the same.

[Anonymous No.17185416]

Help me.

I'm trying to figure out a story for a game i'm developing. It's a fast paced movement game. I've fleshed out the gameplay and assets, but i'm thinking a story might be necessary to drive the player.

The game is based around a grappling hook mechanic, which can be used to swing, reel in to gain directional momentum and you can also maintain momentum on ground by bunnyhopping. You also have a sidearm, but the game isn't focused on combat as much as the deep movement mechanics (think Mirror's Edge).

The setting reflects the game mechanics. Earths surface is covered in a thick fog that forces humans to live above it. Delving into the fog will cause death by asphyxiation. It's basicly like an ocean, but you fall straight through it and you take DoT damage while in it. The architecture and terrain are tall in size, with archs and pillars being featured a lot because that's what works best with the gameplay.

Now the difficult part is keeping the scope of the game low. The game would last for maybe 2 hours (/w 10-15 missions). I'll limit 3d models to 3~ characters, but i can flesh out more in semi-animated image cutscenes (think Thief 1&2).

What i need help with is finding a basic premise to start writing.
I don't mind cliche ideas as it will always come down to my execution anyways.

[Anonymous No.17185476]

>>17185416
You need to have more fundamentals for the story, a high level idea. Do you want someone to be running from something? Trying to find something? Trying to rescue someone? Maybe look at the high level concepts of the games you enjoy or want to mirror and then when you've settled on the concept you can flesh out the details.

[Anonymous No.17185657]

>write for an hour
>half a page of work.
My book has had days work over weeks, yet I have crafted but 4 and a half pages. I am happy with the fruits of my labour, for they are without taint and are the pure representation of what I what I envisioned.

Regardless, I worry about word count somewhat, as this is the most ambitious project I've set out to write, and In all honesty this is so far one of the longest non academic writings I've ever done.

[Anonymous No.17185798]

>>17185115
what's the name of the book?

also
>[he] suppresses an irritable sigh, but suppresses it with an audible bla bla

suppresses suppresses suppresses... jeez, some overdue lit advice:
>[he] suppresses an irritable sigh, but does so with an audible...

it's still shit though. Honestly horrible writing.

[Anonymous No.17185812]

>>17185158

the first book was a shitty isekai. A bunch of kids who all wound up in the same fantasy world go on an adventure to find a way home. Along the way they get embroiled in a political conflict between three inhuman nations that results in them spearheading a violent coup against one nation and humiliating a human defector to another along with the entity who appointed him to a position of power. They ultimately fail in their quest, learning that the fantasy world is a post-apocalyptic earth, but they also find that by working together they can make a place for themselves in this new world

YAWN.

Book 2 is going to revolve around splitting the party, the fallout of their political interference and the beginning of a second apocalypse. Here's where I'm thinking of going

>the Hero winds up back in the kingdom whose king they killed and replaced with an ally just as the nobles are planning to assassinate said ally at a diplomatic event
>the Navigator begins investigating the end of the world and with it the mysterious death of her long-dead friend
>the Kid finds herself being groomed by a shadowy figure for a position of political power, but the Traitor's discarded protoge rescues her and reveals she and everyone else are being manipulated to bring about the end of the world
>The Hacker... I don't know. I'm not really sure where to go with him. The Kid is his little sister who he wants to protect, but he's going to be with the Traitor's sister, and the Traitor happened to be his mentor
>The Traitor, having fallen from grace finds himself in the service of an exiled leader who wants to reclaim his crown from the Traitor's former patron

[Anonymous No.17185837]

>>17185798
Normal people by Sally Rooney. She's a millionaire now because of it

[Anonymous No.17185861]

>>17185812
oh, also they're all trying to get back together, the characters are being tricked into thinking releasing eldritch abominations will save the world, it will end with the Traitor setting one of these abominations loose, but somehow the characters manage to temporarily seal it away

[Anonymous No.17185895]

>>17185837

>>17185837

good for her! and thanks for the answer!

I got a job i like so i don't really care much for making millions. Wouldn't mind it of course, but i still think i'd be working with my other job part time, even if i made it as a writer.

[Anonymous No.17185907]

>>17185895
Yeah, and it's fair to mention that what's popular isn't always what lasts. There are many, many popular novelists, even some who were awarded the Nobel Prize, who were forgotten. In contrast, Melville died destitute and unrecognised.

[Anonymous No.17185909]

>>17181750
https://pastebin.com/UXF7prTi
Read my story nogs

[Anonymous No.17186191]

>>17185346
There are a few of us on it. Here's mine
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/31062/saga-of-the-cosmic-heroes

[Anonymous No.17186259]

>>17186191
How did you get so many followers? Just updating? Or was there some shilling involved?

[Anonymous No.17186293]

>>17186259
Slow and steady wins the race. Exposure on recent updates tabs and having a forum signature probably does wonders too.

[Anonymous No.17186306]

>>17185476
I kept the post a little open to avoid needless text and maybe see if an idea unlike my own was presented, but i do have some several more concepts and ideas written, drawn and even modelled.

You're right about the fundementals stuff though. Though i have problems finding inspiration. Mirror's Edge, Thief and Ghostrunner are games that i look at the most. But only Thief is simple and small scale enough that i can "mimic" it so to speak. It has a simple villian of the week format. The way it is executed makes you forget all about how simple the plot is though.

Should i make 1-2 page presentable .doc file to get a better response here? I feel like i'm not giving away enough information anyway.

[Anonymous No.17186395]

>>17181750
How do you write romance

I have only been in love once and all my relationships have been strange

[Anonymous No.17186412]

>>17186293
Very based. Thanks for the insight.

[Anonymous No.17186514]

>>17186412
It's cut off on that graph but in August/September I had a sharper growth from the 30-40s and was lucky to snag the first few posts in the Self-promo threads for those months, which I think shot me to top 50 trending for a couple of weeks.

[Anonymous No.17186529]

>>17186514
Cool. Well I hope your trend continues ever upward fren. I'll have to do some work on the site it seems.

[Anonymous No.17186748]

Anyone who wants to post on RR want to be friends so we can chat while we work?

[Anonymous No.17186900]

>>17186529
Good luck, and post your story so we can check it out too.

>>17186748
this sounds kinda gay

[Anonymous No.17187029]

>>17186900
ngmi "senpai"

[Anonymous No.17187090]

>>17186748
What's RR

[Anonymous No.17187109]

>>17186395
That means you can write an interesting romance

[Anonymous No.17187136]

>>17187090
Royal roleplay - when you pretend you are royalty.

[Anonymous No.17187144]

>>17184393
I liked it

[Anonymous No.17187188]

>want to put stuff on RoyalRoad
>one of my ideas has pedophilia
>find out RoyalRoad doesn't allow pedophilia, even in mature content
>still want to keep all my writings on a single platform
Any alternatives to RoyalRoad? Or should I just give up on wanting to keep my writing identity and put that idea on a separate thing?

[Anonymous No.17187207]

>>17185416
One of the good things is games get a massive free pass on being realistic. A story about my uncle was really popular, sounds similar to what you're making, and the plot was quite absurd. Good, but absurd anyway. So you're kinda spoiled for choice and we can't help much without heavy narrowing it down

[Anonymous No.17187209]

>>17187188
messed up the last sentence a bit:
Or should I just give up on wanting to keep my writing identity on a single platform and put that idea on a separate thing?

[Anonymous No.17187231]

Tall thin lines — The telling loom
In all of times — Told in tandem
The ribbon top — The trim stitch
Rose band of wrapped wings

Sweet upon the rolling waves
Arcs of lines, lined pages
Frame with sinking clouds
From which Vibri came

So the drifting wings
Scatter faster, master
Stripe in a strip of youth
Slide the shapes in truth

[Anonymous No.17187398]

I want to start a new notebook to plan for a book, but now I'm worrying about starting a second notebook to plan for the first notebook.

[Anonymous No.17187442]

>>17187109
No i really cannot and that is why im posting here

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.17187468]

How’s this little short story thing sound so far lads? There’s still more to write.


happy heat and light cover the people passing like waves in one’s sight, and he saw red clothes for dancing and the sounds of girls laughing at little trinkets.

Thomas stood watching them all without counting minutes pass, smallest light’s sight from a small mirror made him stall,

to a stall he went where he heard said “mister it’s a magic mirror and it might not cost a cent if it casts its spell“ to his reflection he drew nearer and suddenly he saw a picture.

another market where the people wore linen colored deep scarlet decked in jewels that glisten and finally in crimson an ancient statue.

the seller began to laugh and threw a cashew into his mouth “on my behalf I won’t even charge half, have if for free”

Thomas took it home and at the mirror gazed again his mind traveled and began to roam upon images of Rome, then he saw an ancient man in his home.

with eagle eyes he looked at Thomas tremble there, but the man’s smile looked so wise and he spoke “have not fear nor sighs ask me anything, I tell no lies.”

and he then transformed into a field from Thomas’s memory where his very first love formed, The color of love made every leaf appear as red as sweetest cherry.

Thomas’s tears flowed as the mirror depicted Diana’s drowning, but then the mirror glowed and he saw innumerable undines crowing
his Diana as if she was Dione.

The ancient returned, saying “I have knowledge of all things good, whether love or people praying, let this be firmly understood that nothing is beyond my portraying”

[Anonymous No.17187486]

>>17185909
I've read 2000 words and nothing's happened except worldbuilding. I don't feel compelled to read anymore

[Anonymous No.17187507]

>>17187486
Plz keep reading. My descriptions are important to the atmosphere and reflect the mental state of the protagonist. It is only 16 pages.

[Anonymous No.17187529]

>>17187468
>smallest light's sight
>to a stall he went
>to his reflection he drew nearer
>at the mirror gazed again
no offense but you sound severely autistic. Are you ESL or ETL? This is not working as either prose or poetry. It's like this weird gene-spliced mutation of both. Line breaks and rhymes. But dialogue and a kind of narrative progression. But the worst problem is your stilted, fucked up syntax. I really can't comprehend this. Was this written by a machine?

[Anonymous No.17187550]

>>17187507
I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but I've got a list of 1000 things that I'd rather do than read a long description of yet another knock off Tolkien-dystopian-fusion world.

[Anonymous No.17187552]

>>17187188
Have you tried not being a degenerate? Sincerely. Don't produce filth, don't feed sin. If I were in your room right now, first I would gag, then I would kick your ass

[Anonymous No.17187557]

>>17187507
>It is only 16 pages
lmao, i don't even read that much good literature per day, why would i spend it on you.......

[Anonymous No.17187570]

>>17187507
>My descriptions are important to the atmosphere and reflect the mental state of the protagonist.
You want to be doing that in the first paragraph onward, my dude.

[Anonymous No.17187592]

/wg/, I've got a character that I don't know what to do with but can't kill off because I need him for later in the series. What do i do?

[Frater Asemlen !XS8vrClKs2 No.17187621]

>>17187529

Nah, it’s specifically trying to gene splice a mutation of prose and poetry, first attempt at this method of forcing both together. Thanks for the critique anon, I’ll try to comb over it once more to improve the autistic wording. It’s coming off more stilted because I’m trying to keep a vaguely prose-stream of conscious while also trying to adhere roughly to the poetic form I had in mind.

[Anonymous No.17187773]

I'm tired of not being good enough

[Anonymous No.17188062]

>>17184393
I like it.
>>17185115
I would say that is much worse, but also I don't think anything actually good has sold well in the last few decades, just look at any bestseller chart

[Anonymous No.17188159]

>>17184177
actual realistic dialogue is retarded since it has people interrupting each other all the time and shit

[Anonymous No.17188173]

How to stop overthinking and second guessing miself?

[Anonymous No.17188220]

>>17187552
I'm not writing smut or erotica dumbass, the idea is about a guy infiltrating a child trafficking and sex ring to investigate and get the participants punished

[Anonymous No.17188221]

>>17182848
You've finally made it.

[Anonymous No.17188290]

it's such a pain to read teaching material done by writers, go to the point already FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.17188322]

What's a good narrative goal for a fantasy story that throws the character on a journey? I just dont want to have to save someone or retrieve the mcguffin.

[Anonymous No.17188341]

>>17188322
Religious pilgrimage for a fantasy religion where you have to visit specific locations

[Anonymous No.17188409]

>>17188290
For better or for worse I don't bother. I read bits of a few and it all seems generic or meandering to the point where I'd rather do it all myself, because that way even if it's shit it's my shit

[Anonymous No.17188431]

>>17187592
This is pretty much all my characters. Just find something else for them to do, or they travel elsewhere, the MC moves away from them, etc, shouldn't be too hard

[Anonymous No.17188483]

>>17187090
Repulsive Retards

it's a dating service for gay trannies who think they are writers

[Anonymous No.17188575]

wrote some Blackula today

The air chilled as the night darkened. Jabari crossed his arms and tighter. The howling wind rustled the leaves of the trees outside.
“The angel of death himself must be flapping his wings,” thought Jabari.
Lupita lay still on the bed, her face pale and ashy. The whole of the room now reeked with South African geraniums and around Lupita’s neck was a wreath of the same flowers. She was very still, and her breaths came in languidly. There was none of the struggle to live, the fight for life, that Jabari had previously observed in her.
Something was outside the window. It flapped and thumped at the panes. At the same time, Lupita contorted her face, opening her mouth and showing her oddly long and sharp teeth. Jabari looked out the window and saw a great bat. Every now and then, it thumped the window again.
“Shoo!” said Jabari.
Lupita tore off her geranium wreath in the commotion.
Jabari stood up and walked to the window. He pounded the window back.
“Go away!” he said.
The bat left and Jabari turned back to Lupita. He gasped when he saw the change in her face.

[Anonymous No.17188617]

>>17187550
>Tolkien-dystopian-fusion world.
Never read Tolkien, though I watched the LOTR for the first time the other night. Wrote this several months ago, it is not a action/fantasy story and more philosophical/atmospheric/erotic.

[Anonymous No.17188732]

>>17188220
Only explicit depictions of sex with minors are prohibited. If you don't have any, you're safe. If you have some, you're a degenerate.

[Anonymous No.17188766]

>>17185909
What possesses amateur writers to start their stories with a character waking up? Every single time. I'm sorry, but if the first words are "he woke up" that's an instant drop for me. Think of literally ANYTHING else.

[Anonymous No.17188793]

>>17188766
Is there a single story of worth that has ever begun in such a way?

[Anonymous No.17188814]

>>17188793
Kafka's Metamorphosis

but unlike that guy's story, it wasn't a boring pile of shit

[Anonymous No.17188825]

>>17188814
>wake up
>be bug
What do?

[Anonymous No.17188836]

>>17188825
Fuck a hunch back lock smith.

[Anonymous No.17188846]

>>17184393
t.RC Waldun

[Anonymous No.17188866]

>>17188617
k, you don't have to change anything if you don't want to

[Anonymous No.17188968]

>>17184393
Why do people suck Sally Rooney's cock for this scene with Chris, Beatrice, and Beatrice's parents, but people raked Rice Cuck over the coals for the same fucking scene with Arthur, Gretel, and Mr. Morton?

[Anonymous No.17188998]

Does this work? I know you can say "just write conventionally," but I fancy myself a bit of a stylist. It's my great pretension.
>https://pastebin.com/zVHQsQxx

[Anonymous No.17189107]

>>17185907

Unrecognized and destitute, that's what we're aiming for rite?

>sadface.jpg

[Anonymous No.17189134]

>>17188968

i don't know which wrote this, but i instantly hate the namedropping and pretentious faggotry that permeates this whole scene.

>"uuh, muh joyce, uuuh, my thoreau, uuh muh van gogh and dicaprio

Writers who write about writers and the like should be kicked in the face.

[Anonymous No.17189136]

>>17188998

this reads like stealth technology for a radar. My mind can't stay on it for more than a second. Why would you do this? Is there an actual idea with this text or do you just like lining up words?

[Anonymous No.17189175]

>>17189136
I have ideas (plural), but the main one is an expiration of the connection between language and meaning. But yes, I do also just enjoy lining up words into neat little rows of chaos.

[Anonymous No.17189190]

>>17188998
>Closest the door, the shortest the men. A touch of arbitration—the very shortest on the left with the next-shortest on the right. It gets slightly more complicated here, as the third-shortest man stands directly behind the second-shortest man rather than the first. I have a strong distaste for bilateral patterns, so once the fourth-shortest man takes his place opposite the third, we break the semblance of any bilateral symmetry by taking first the same subset of men on the other end of the spectrum, the ordered set of the four tallest men, and then by adopting the pattern, rotating it once clockwise, finally adding an extra man at the end, establishing a five-tuple of the tallest men in the prison arranged in a transposed non-permutation of the previous set in the series which nonetheless is consciously arranged and will suffice there-for.
dude what

[Anonymous No.17189265]

Why you gotta be like that, jannie

[Anonymous No.17189323]

>>17189265
What happened?

[Anonymous No.17189350]

>>17185416
Mole people have finally dug up and reached the surface. The cloud of mist is the gas from their digging machines. You have to discover a way to send the filthy mole people back to their filthy mole caverns and disperse the noxious gas to reclaim the ground of earthf

[Anonymous No.17189357]

>>17189350

[Anonymous No.17189371]

>>17188968
You're a retard, the scene with Beatrice was anons own writing. Sally Rooney writes in present tense

[Anonymous No.17189386]

Despite the difference in length, this
>>17188968
Reads a lot less naturally than this
>>17184393

At least in anon's excerpt they don't seem to belabor the point. It comes off as if the father is a try hard forcing his daughter to read boring books. And it's punctuated properly. Who writes "the book by thoreau: Walden"?

[Anonymous No.17189419]

>>17189323
He deleted my post

[Anonymous No.17189446]

>come up with a fictional setting
>get really involved in it, making up lore all the time
>figuring out all the characters and the storyline in your head
>get excited about it
>start writing
>realize only furries are going to read it if you actually finish it
>...
I guess the world is better off without it...

[Anonymous No.17189452]

>>17189446
Anon you're throwing away big money

[Anonymous No.17189461]

>>17189446
>get really involved in it
>in my head
>didn't even write
Don't worry, you didn't get involved in it at all.

[Anonymous No.17190147]

>>17189452
Would you want to be known as "that furry author", even though you're not in any way furry?

[Anonymous No.17190202]

>>17181750
>>The Poetry Home Repair Manual
>>Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry
Where do I find these to pirate? I got a pdf of Repair Manual but that's painful to read with an e-reader.

[Anonymous No.17190658]

A wanky creative writing sort of thing

[Anonymous No.17190764]

>>17190658
esl?

[Anonymous No.17190769]

>>17190658
I don't have the time to critique it right now, but don't say 'wanky creative writing sort of thing'. It's so self-effacing. What you have doesn't look bad. Take pride in it, take yourself and your work seriously.

[Anonymous No.17190774]

>>17190658
i'd skip the "on the other hand" in the paragraph with the younger girl since we know it's on the other hand. Second, i'd write something like "a bomb had gone off in a candy isle" or something similar/better. A bomb had gone off is such a trope otherwise that for it to work you need to add something to it, or just keep it like it is. (which you aren't since you're explaining how the effects of the bomb gone off are).

I don't understand who's picking up the candy bar in the end but i'm guesing it's the older girl?

overall it's decent though

[Anonymous No.17190781]

>>17190658
Indent new paragraphs.

[Anonymous No.17190822]

>>17190658
>her own side
just say her side

2nd sentence is a bit long

don't think emanated is the right word, and do they all need descriptors of discarded, crushed, crumpled etc

I would rewrite it like this

>when she lifted the comic book from the table with her sticky fingers, it left a clean patch like a blast shadow on the table beneath it. The older girl had bought it for her back at the station.

[Anonymous No.17190825]

>>17190658
a cut bit from a book I'm doing

[Anonymous No.17190840]

>>17190774
Yeah it was a bomb in a chocolate bar factory, but more things ended up being on the table so that didn't make sense any more

[Anonymous No.17190848]

>>17190658
you should read repent harlquein said the ticktockman

[Anonymous No.17190860]

>>17190825
Would read more. What's it about?

[Anonymous No.17190885]

>>17190825
>But I wasn't going to let her attempts
Cut 'but'.
>"So did I," she sighed.
"Sighed" is not a way of speaking. It doesn't follow a comma, it follows a period.

[Anonymous No.17190956]

>>17190840
perhaps "a bomb had gone off in a chocolate wrapping factory"? that's dumb and very self explanatory. followed by no description of the wrappings but rather what the girls do.

[Anonymous No.17191098]

>>17190860
Private school girls. I figure lesbians are popular at the moment. It's got an absolutely terrible meme structure where Girl A and Girl B are married in the present and the past scenes are in a manuscript written by Girl A she gives to B to read. The metanarrative is so dumb but there's no story without it and plenty of good jokes come out of taking the piss out of it
>A is asked by a mutual friend of her and B, Boy X, to help him with something. She has written the manuscript to process her thoughts, tried to do the unrevealed thing, failed. Now she wants B to read the book to help her do the thing. The book goes quickly through how A and B got together at the end of fifth year at their boarding school, then covers a summer with A and Girl C who lives nearby. They become friends, C gets crush on A, in the end A rejects C for B. In the present Boy X runs an elite junior sports development thing at the boarding school they all went to, but C is refusing to send her son there even though he's the next Roger Federer. X wants A to convince C to let her son go. A and B go to convince C, she's easily convinced, twist is reveal in A's head that she's cheated on B with C in the past.

[Anonymous No.17191135]

>>17190147
If I have the money then I can ditch my job and write whatever I want for the rest of my life. Who care about the public's opinion. I only want to make it big to afford a comfy writing lifestyle anyway

[Anonymous No.17191192]

Is it possible to achieve a certain aesthetic sense through the written word or should I give up on the idea and just find an artist to draw what I see in my head?

[Anonymous No.17191310]

>>17191192
>Is it possible to achieve a certain aesthetic sense through the written word
Not really, most of it comes down to the perception of the reader and while you can influence it with your own prose, the specific aesthetic of the book will effectively be whatever the reader finds appealing. Drawing is certainly a better medium for this

[Anonymous No.17191317]

>>17191192
All of the works in your collage are pulp pastiches homaging the NOVELS that started the genre. How stupid can you get?

[Anonymous No.17191348]

>>17191317
Yes, pulp novels were very powerful in how their prose delivered specific aesthetics. It is known.

[Anonymous No.17191353]

>>17191348
Which ones have you read, anon?

[Anonymous No.17191376]

>>17191353
All of Lovecraft, all of Robert E. Howard, all of Albert Bester, miscallenous works by Joseph Conrad, Edgar Rice Burroughs (basically just Tarzan) and Raymond Chandler.
Do you have someone else in mind?

[Anonymous No.17191377]

>>17190781
>Indent new paragraphs.

Don't, if there's spacing between paragraphs!

[Anonymous No.17191394]

>>17191376
None of those have to do with the pulp heroes Mignola and Robinson were imitating. If you want to achieve a certain aesthetic, study its history. And yes, Lovecraft and Howard's prose was incredibly rich in aesthetic value.

[Anonymous No.17191396]

>>17181750
>Any progress on your novels?
Novel? No.
Fanfiction? Yes.
Anons tell me, why is it harder to write FF than a novel? Is it the fact that making up characters is easier than using established characters?

[Anonymous No.17191425]

>>17191394
So you have absolutely nobody in mind. Thanks for the input anyway.

[Anonymous No.17191433]

>>17191396
Writing fanfic is infinitely easier precisely because you have all the assets ready

[Anonymous No.17191462]

>>17191425
The Shadow. Green Hornet. The Spider. Read Mignola's interviews where he explains his inspirations. Read more literature and less trashy comics. Waiting to hear how Lovecraft isn't aesthetic, btw.

[Anonymous No.17191467]

>>17191192
I gave this a lot of thought myself. I think it comes down to what you choose to focus on. If you describe the fashion / colours / feelings of the world you're creating, then it can work for sure. But you are going to have to really focus on it to carry it across.

The artistic rendering you're thinking about though isn't really needed. If you're writing a compelling story, with dramatic and engaging moments, the reader will conjure up the imagery to match.

Lovecraft is your go to if you want to learn how to include imagery with your prose.

[Anonymous No.17191479]

>>17191462
>trying to pick a fight for no reason
OK

[Anonymous No.17191539]

>>17191396
>>17191433
FF is easier because you don't have the weight of an entire book/series/whatever behind what you're writing from the start, but I guess it does throw up the unique difficulty of having to try to mimic another author's style/dialogue. But still in my experience I'd weigh writing fanfic as easier and quicker

[Anonymous No.17191554]

How "safe" should your first novel be? Can you get published with controversial subject matter if you have no name?

[Anonymous No.17191621]

>>17191554
An empty question by someone who has nothing to say.

[Anonymous No.17191653]

>>17191621
I know, I just wanted to get people talking about something, anything.

[Anonymous No.17191837]

>>17191554
Probably depends on the publisher, first impressions matter after all. If you're well established somewhere online with a following then a publisher will be more likely to publish your book, at least for some profit. But, if you're some nobody trying to publish something controversial, don't bother. Instead, try to establish yourself as someone to listen to before you tread outwards.

[Anonymous No.17191848]

>>17191554
Amazon KDP will publish anything

[Anonymous No.17191940]

>>17191554
People fake outrage at everything online, but in the end, very few things are genuinely "controversial" today. You have to be a legitimately sick asshole writing some psycho nazi pedophile rape shit to get rejected because of "controversial content".

[Anonymous No.17191950]

"Dale checked his watch: 7:45. He had been told to be there at about 8:45, but he wanted to arrive at 8:30 just to be safe. He needed to leave in about ten minutes if he didn’t want to be late. He still had a few more pages of the document to look over and about 15 minutes to do so. He tried to read over the rest of Huxley’s profile, but his excitement prevented his eyes from focussing on the pages."

how do I stop writing "He", bros?

[Anonymous No.17191987]

>>17191950
>He had to leave in about ten minutes to be on time.
>There were a few more pages of the document to look over and 15 minutes to do so.
>He tried to read over the rest of Huxley’s profile, but couldn't focus on the pages for his excitement

For example.

[Anonymous No.17192001]

Why even publish traditionally? Look at the Call of the Arcade guy who has ads up all the time. He's doing fine self publishing and the likes of Random House would never touch his books

[Anonymous No.17192025]

>>17192001
Firstly, nobody but a few anons from /lit/ know about his existence.
Secondly, he will never get better if he writes this shit and publishes it on amazon.

Why do you write? For fun? If you write SOLELY for fun, it doesn't matter. If you want to get better, if you want to be big, if you want to become an actual writer, then stop being a retard, git gud and try to get your book published.

[Anonymous No.17192083]

Least favourite old-timey writing habit/style element? Like constant semicolons/em dashes whatever.
For me it's when they use words like immediately/directly in that weird way like,
>I will reply to your letter directly I receive it
I don't like it

[Anonymous No.17192087]

>>17192025
>Secondly, he will never get better if he writes this shit and publishes it on amazon.
Since when did trad publishing make anyone better? It just seems that way to you because the editor fixes all the author's dumb shit before print, but it's not like the future books are any better. The majority of published authors can't ever even produce more than one book.

[Anonymous No.17192092]

>>17192083
In my language there's a huge difference between old and contemporary writing. Everything feels archaic and no one speaks like this irl.
But all new books are shit. So shit that in comparison even I look like a top tier writer.

[Anonymous No.17192105]

>>17192087
not publishing but the way to publish makes you better
if you stay in your small cage of amazon you won't get overly ambitious

[Anonymous No.17192119]

>>17192083
Or like, immediately he woke up he went downstairs for a glass of water

[Anonymous No.17192279]

>>17192025
How does this even make any sense? It's like the retarded audiobooks bad argument. It's still reading, or in this case writing, but on a different platform

[Anonymous No.17192475]

>>17181750
I write shit ruin! Be mean or nice I don’t care https://my.w.tt/mKR7atgNKcb

[Anonymous No.17192767]

How do I get better at prose? My prose is awful. What do I need to read? Any tips?

[Anonymous No.17192803]

>>17192767
Read more and more varied. Just plough through as much established classics as possible.

[Anonymous No.17193057]

>>17192767
This is the level of support you're asking for.
>hey Writing General how do I write????

Wish we had a High Level Writing General but all the retards would still probably swarm that too.

[Anonymous No.17193081]

>>17192105
>but the way to publish makes you better
How?

[Anonymous No.17193106]

>>17193057
This is the level advice you give.
>>hey man like i dunno reeee

Wish we had a High Level of Advice in this thread but it's filled with retards.

[Anonymous No.17193258]

>>17193106
Post your prose then if you're OP. There's no easy solution to cultivating a sense of prose rhythm, you just have to build it up
I'd be tempted to go for more 18th/19th century stuff, but maybe that's just me. dickens, austen, Conrad
Read pride and prejudice, heart of darkness

[Anonymous No.17193362]

>>17193258
>modeling your prose after the classics if you're writing in the modern day
NGMI

[Anonymous No.17193402]

>look up reddit sub for writers
>first post you see is this
kek

[Anonymous No.17193411]

If I have multiple queries out that I want to close, is it a good idea to, as a last ditch effort to get tradpubbed, lie to them that I received an offer of representation from another agent? Would this cause them to be more interested in my novel? Would it come back to bite my arse?

[Anonymous No.17193424]

>>17193402
sjw is an absolute CANCER. these fuckheads don't even read anything except nu-lit and YA

[Anonymous No.17193454]

>>17193402
How does every person on that website talk in the exact same voice. It's uncanny, it's like reading JK Rowling

[Anonymous No.17193597]

>>17193402
“What was that about?” Todd asked we left the room - he seemed to have been waiting for me, as he fell into step with me when I passed through the door.

I wasn’t sure why - we had worked together on a group project the previous day, it was true, but I didn’t exactly consider him a friend. Maybe my nod had given him the wrong idea. Still, I didn’t see any reason to be rude, so I answered, “She was asking about my dad - he’s in the hospital.”

“Oh damn, I’m sorry about that. Is he gonna be okay?”

I sighed. Honestly. “Yeah, he’ll be fine. It’s just a chronic thing that flares up every now and then.”

“Still. How did she know, though?” he asked.

“He’s a professor here as well,” I said. “He teaches poetry and literary analysis, most years. I think he started around the same time as Marigold?”

“Oh, neat,” Todd said, although from his tone I didn’t think he actually thought poetry was cool. “I guess you must be from around here, then?”

“Yeah, we’ve lived in New Venice since I was... seven, I think? We moved not long after mom...” I paused, unsure how to explain that my mother had been missing for most of my life. “Well, dad couldn’t support us just by raising me,” I eventually said.

“I guess you’re probably not staying in a dorm, then?” Todd asked. He tactfully didn’t press on the subject of my mother, for which I was grateful.

“Yeah, I’m still living at home. No sense spending money on a dorm when you don’t have to, after all.” It might have contributed to me not having many close friends at college, I supposed, but on the other hand it wasn’t as though I had a huge amount of time on my hands. I was handling it fine, but biology was a demanding major, particularly as I was planning to get a medical degree as well.

“Must be a bummer to have your old man around all the time, huh?”

“Nah, dad’s cool. We get along pretty well.”

“He doesn’t get upset when you bring guys home?” Todd joked.

“I’m single right now, actually. But no, he’s never minded me bringing boyfriends or girlfriends home. He likes to try and embarrass me when I do, though.” What was Todd getting at?

“What, you’re single? How could a girl as gorgeous as you be single?” he asked.

I blinked in surprise, then narrowed my eyes at him. So that was what he was getting at. “I’m not a girl, Todd,” I informed him - I was very open about the fact that I was nonbinary, and while it wasn’t always worth correcting the assumptions people made in one direction or the other, in this case I thought it was. “And yes, I’m single, but that doesn’t mean I’m interested in you.”

It was blunt, but sometimes that was the only way.

Todd grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, Quinn. Can’t blame me for trying, right?”

“I suppose not,” I admitted, “but the answer is no.”

[Anonymous No.17193686]

>>17193597
Wasn't there a famous feminist gamer "girl" trannie named Quinn?

[Anonymous No.17193715]

>>17193454
illusion of diverse posters. 90% of posts on twitter come from 10% of users. similarly it was shown that r***** was mostly fake, botted, or one user making 40% of posts on a sub (such as maxwell on worldnews.) partner that with excessive censorship and handing out bans like peanuts at a bar for wrongthing, and you have an echo chamber of samevoice. r***** is the worst website on the internet.

[Anonymous No.17193755]

>>17193411
Could come back to bite you depending on the country, how small the industry is and that kind of thing.

[Anonymous No.17193976]

/wg/, I need to write a multi-PoV book but I don't even know where to start. I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I'm writing 4+ stories when writing 1 already fucked me up

[Anonymous No.17194016]

>>17193976
just write it, what do you want us to do nigga

[Anonymous No.17194113]

>>17194016
I don't know, give me some way to break it down into smaller pieces?

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm overwhelmed, and the combination of expectations and frustrations are making me start to hate my own story and being a writer in general. I thought by this point in my life I'd be good enough to write something like this but I only got worse over time

[Anonymous No.17194134]

>>17194113
You can use software like manuskript to help you better organize your thoughts and ideas. It's one place where you can make notes of almost everything relevant to the characters, worldbuilding, etc.

Basically get that shit out of your head and onto some paper (metaphorically). It seems like a lot, but if you first just put it on paper, you can stop thinking about it and free your mind to think about other stuff.

[Anonymous No.17194215]

check The Knockout Queen by Rufi Thorpe to see what good novel writing looks like. very good

[Anonymous No.17194339]

Jesus Christ, I got Call of the Arcade for free and I still want my money back. I can't believe this guy is the most successful self-published /lit/izen

[Anonymous No.17194863]

>>17193976
if you think of it as 4+ stories you're ngmi. taht's the completely wrong approach
handling multiple cases of informational separation is akin to making an inference leap. either you can do it or you can't.

[Anonymous No.17194912]

>>17181750
I'm sure this is a stupid question, but if I'm sending out queries by email, do I send a .doc as an attachment or do I just type it in the email text?

[Anonymous No.17194916]

>>17194863
then what do I do, because I just plotted out the second act for one quarter of my cast and there's definitely some concern about me being able to fit all this shit in.

for the record though, I'm not trying to completely separate who knows what. The main characters are talking to each other as this is going on and their coordination is influencing each other's plans

[Anonymous No.17194925]

>>17194912
If you type it in the email body, you'll have to pray whatever email client it gets rendered on renders it properly or not.

[Anonymous No.17194944]

How screwed am I if my chapters are short? I've been reading Anna Karenina and almost unconsciously I've followed its model of 1-1.5k word chapters. I notice many agents ask for first 3 chapters in queries, but my first three chapters will be a tiny percentage of the book's opening. Will it be okay or should I go back and re-divide chapters?

[Anonymous No.17194983]

New to writing, but I wrote the first chapter of a stupid series idea I saw on /a/. Is it written well enough?
https://my.w.tt/vKLIJBkaLcb

[Anonymous No.17194995]

>>17194912
Always assume that they want it pasted in the email, below your query letter. They are scared of viruses.

[Anonymous No.17195027]

>>17194983
>uses "was" in the first sentence
>uses "will" in the second
Stick to one tense.

Format your dialogue tags correctly.

[Anonymous No.17195072]

>>17194916
you can either do it or you can't. if it's too hard for you write a more simple story

[Anonymous No.17195090]

>>17194944
meanwhile, on the other side, my tendency is to have only 10 - 12 chapters in a book so each is like 10k words. god, i despise agents. they're the laziest bottom feeding self-important animated dogshit walking around on the planet.

[Anonymous No.17195291]

>>17195072
I can't let this be a simpler story. In fact, if I want to satisfy myself I have to make it more complicated than it already is.

I think that's unattainable though. What I fundamentally want is to be telling a mystery but what I'm writing is gagworthy epic fantasy full of nasty political machinations.

maybe I should simplify to tell a better story. If that's even possible. I don't know and I don't trust myself

[Anonymous No.17195344]

>>17195291
maybe if you spent less time on /lit/ you could write something

btw i am procrastinating as we speak on the thing i should be writing

[Anonymous No.17195376]

>>17195291
jesus christ you're disgusting
stay in /sffg/ you retarded neckbeard

[Anonymous No.17195390]

Sometimes I attempt to edit my writing while measurably inebriated. I've come to notice that it's not the same as an operator of heavy machinery showing up to work drunk, smashing the wrong building with a wrecking ball. Productive things can still be done, and as a matter of fact, a certain looseness and libertine attitude towards one's own work might be had. The thing is you can't make any changes which you would rationally plan to make, you just have to kind of jump around and fix up random things in scattershot fashion that you were unaware of sober. It's a bad idea to make substantial changes but you can in look at your writing with "new eyes" albeit shittier and error prone ones.

[Anonymous No.17195398]

>>17195376
eat my shit and hair

[Anonymous No.17195424]

>>17194983
I hate this "write a story but the main characters are personifications of various 4chan boards or most popular memes from those boards" fad

[Anonymous No.17195451]

>>17195344
I can't write if I don't know what I have to write

[Anonymous No.17195569]

I'm almost done with my first novel. It's blatantly a power fantasy about self-insert. I'm going to let my therapist and a friend read it, but that's it. I thought about posting it for free on here, but I'm afraid it would somehow get back to me.

[Anonymous No.17195584]

>>17195569
Stop being a cocktease and post an excerpt

[Anonymous No.17195613]

>>17195584
Okay.

[Anonymous No.17195631]

I swear I'm not autistic, but I can't for the life of me write characters who don't have the same flaws as myself. How on earth do I write a character that is more interesting than I am?

[Anonymous No.17195678]

>>17195613
Cute

[Anonymous No.17195694]

How much world building d people like in their fantasy books? I'm studying history right now while working on mine, and I'm seeing a metric assload of shit to draw from and steal. But I'm wondering just how much people want to see the reasoning why and how this stuff is happening or just that it is happening unless it's the direct result or influence of the MC's actions.

[Anonymous No.17195705]

>>17195694
None. Infodumps will not save boring prose.

[Anonymous No.17195812]

>>17195631

stop being an NPC

[Anonymous No.17195849]

Came to the decision to self-publish my shit after all. First thing I did was to go into my manuscript and insert lines talking about the females' breasts. I feel free.

[Anonymous No.17195860]

>>17195705
Infodumps are obviously bad, but "none," really? Not even a sentence or two explaining why, for example, the town they're going to is a good safe haven? Just the fact that it is a good safe haven is enough?

[Anonymous No.17196218]

>tried to write a short synopsis of the novel I'm planning
>only figured out a quarter of the book before my brain crapped out
>and only for one out of four main characters

I deserve to hang

[Anonymous No.17196240]

>wrote my first novel in a 3 month frenzy of passion
>decide to write a series next
>2 years later the first draft of the first book isn't even done

why am I like this /wg/?

[Anonymous No.17196523]

>Be told constantly to never start your novel with your characters waking up or doing their routines.
>Almost all the stories I write start with characters waking up or doing their routines.
Fucking hell, is there any deliverance from this hell?

[Anonymous No.17196536]

>>17196240
do no fap

[Anonymous No.17196545]

>>17196523
Maybe try not doing that for once and see where it takes you.

[Anonymous No.17196550]

I'm like 1000 words away from finishing my first draft for my sequel, and I think I hate it.

[Anonymous No.17196565]

>>17196545
Currently writing two stories in a in media res, and I’m currently swamped because of it. Depressing thing is, both stories are more or less variants of the same story.

[Anonymous No.17196640]

>>17196523
>or doing their routines
What's wrong with this?

[Anonymous No.17196701]

[Anonymous No.17196719]

>>17196536
nofap is just juice cleanse but for incels

[Anonymous No.17196962]

>>17195860
try and incorporate it naturally.

For example in the prince of nothing series a prostitute gets taught to read and reads "the sagas" famous kind of biblical/illaid history of some fucked up events in the past, by writing about her reading the sagas and her responses to certain events and learning certain things etc it's an infodump about the past and worldbuilding while being organic.

Even something as lame as "wow those are the legendary grain silos of x, they are huge, even bigger than I expected, no wonder the y's have never mangaged to make them capitulate by siege"

that's a pretty lame example but you get the idea. The worst are having a dumb isekai character or character who knows nothing getting everything explained to him in monologues by another character.

[Anonymous No.17197288]

>>17196962
>The worst are having a dumb isekai character or character who knows nothing getting everything explained to him in monologues by another character.
Worse than narrator monologuing everything to the reader directly? Come on

[Anonymous No.17197590]

Is 'teams of people' a redundant statement?
It would be either 'group of people', or just team, right?

[Anonymous No.17197605]

>>17197590
Teams of people implies multiple separate groups

[Anonymous No.17197691]

>>17197288
unironically yes, since the narrator is omniscient and you can drop it in here and there

[Anonymous No.17197722]

I need to watch some black Youtube videos to fill in the dialogue

The bat left and Jabari closed the curtains. A strange chill came over Jabari and he turned back to Lupita. He gasped. The change! She looked healthier and more beautiful than ever.

> “Jabari! Oh, my love! I’m so glad that you’ve been watching over me (write this in black way),” said Lupita. “Black dialogue that conveys a woman who is seducing a man.”

“Don’t be so forward,” replied Jabari. “We’re not courting.”

Knock knock knock

“Hi Jabari,” said Van Hassain. “It’s me, Van Hassain. I’m coming in.”

With tired steps and a bent back, the doctor came in. Upon seeing Lupita’s new state, he hissed in a sharp breath.

“Light the lamp,” he told Jabari. “I want a closer look.”

He pushed Lupita’s hair away from her face and placed the lamp close. The wounds on her throat had disappeared!

Lupita smiled at Van Hassain in an odd manner, not befitting a lady. Her eyelids were half closed, and her voice was husky.

> “Black dialogue that conveys a woman who is seducing an older man,” said Lupita.

Van Hassain furrowed his eyebrows at Lupita. He turned to Jabari with a stern look.

“She is dying. It will not be long now.”

[Anonymous No.17197728]

>Character is repeatedly stated to be average
>Yet is somehow incredibly smart and capable
>The story bends over backwards to give them every bit of moral high ground
>It is impossible to differentiate the mc from every other mc in the genre
>Quips and cracks jokes at every opportunity
>Somehow knows everything about everything
>Doesn't act his age/someone from his culture ought to, this isn't brought up at all
>Every single girl falls for him no matter how contrived it would be
>Every character besides the mc is female
>Has several websites dedicated to the genre
>The worst ones are the most popular
Guess the genre guys! haha

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS
MR RR OFF ME
I WOULD LIKE TO GET OFF MR ROYALROADS WILD RIDE

[Anonymous No.17197735]

>>17197728
>Character is repeatedly stated to be average
>Yet is somehow incredibly smart and capable
>The story bends over backwards to give them every bit of moral high ground
How do you even do this? All the characters I write are reflections of my worst qualities and as such are all uniquely terrible people. Can't even imagine writing perfect people.

[Anonymous No.17197742]

>>17197735
How do you do that? I'll give you a hint: https://forums.spacebattles.com/forums/creative-writing.18/

[Anonymous No.17197748]

>>17197742
I have a friend who goes to that site but I have no idea what I'm supposed to be looking at or for

[Anonymous No.17197760]

>>17197748
The point is to know what stories there are worth reading from other sites, for everything else: just read it to feel better about your own writing. This goes doubly for the worm section, seriously, fuck that place, the good stories there can be counted on a single hand.

[Anonymous No.17197831]

>>17197728
That's just how things are, though, right anon? 90% of stuff is trash. There are some good-ish stories too, though. At least I'd hope so. I am planning to write one myself for the patreonbuxx.

[Anonymous No.17197855]

>>17186306
I'd say stop searching for ideas in the same medium you're working in.

[Anonymous No.17197866]

>>17197831
Yeah, there is some good there but it's depressing to see how much of the content is bad. And I mean really bad, as in mistakes you'd never make in your darkest dreams. Oh well.

[Anonymous No.17197878]

>>17195613
i remember seeing this like a year ago. keep on truckin anon

[Anonymous No.17197886]

>>17197728
litfic

[Anonymous No.17197908]

>>17188998
I sort of like it. until somewhere around this part.

>and all its biblical apocrypha. I think breakfast was passable, but the thought come through squeezed as it is around a mental behemoth heifered inbrain ontologue inheterous. What was: my wife's cunny, of course! Yes, for 500, but also undeniably. It seems like it was just some n-tupled multiple for n = 4'33 ago

Being stylist is fine but try to keep the complex scenes less cluttered. You could really need an editor. It's not as hard to read as the other anons in the thread have made it out to be though.

[Anonymous No.17197924]

>>17197866
I recently caught up with Forge of Destiny and I can recommend that if you like cultivation stories - it's really good, though some of the occasional homosexuality is a bit annoying.

[Anonymous No.17198142]

>>17197691
Well, that's a pretty dumb opinion

[Anonymous No.17198951]

>study up on the mechanics of fiction writing
>try to write
>realize I'm only good at writing sex and dialogue

Back to editing technical documents for me then.

[Anonymous No.17199000]

>>17198951
The only thing you need to be able to write well is dialogue. Unfortunately you are also a smutfag, though.

[Anonymous No.17199018]

Doing 500 words a day for the entire year. If I do this, I'll have my entire series completed.

[Anonymous No.17199048]

Do people actually write a set amount of words a day or is it just a meme? I have to work chapter to chapter, start with a skeleton outline then build it up with successive passes

[Anonymous No.17199125]

>outline a novel
>brain considers the story told
>begin to outline another novel
what are good outlining apps? i wish to increase my outlining efficiency.

[Anonymous No.17199160]

>>17198951
hey retard you know what? if you can write dialogue that doesn't take me out of the story, i will read your book. simple as. i mean just add a little bit of mystery to the fiction to keep me thinking and that plus good dialogue/characters are all i need. if you think i'm alone consider that those two elements are basically all ASOIAF, the biggest ongoing fiction series, has going for it. good dialogue and a little bit of mystique to thread readers along is more than 95% of fiction writers who have finished books offer.

[Anonymous No.17199213]

>>17199160
w-will you read m-my novel, anon?

[Anonymous No.17199215]

>>17199048
I do it mate. It's so useful in making consistent progress. Even 500 awful words can be edited, a blank page can't.

[Anonymous No.17199232]

>>17199160
Good dialogue is wonderful. This is why the early seasons of GOT were kino. The exchanges between Tywin and Tyrion, small council meetings, and Varys/Little finger pontificating about power were the best bits.

On a side note, this is why I believe watching good movies and TV series can be conducive to good writing.

[Anonymous No.17199256]

>>17197728
I'm going to be honest, the only part I really have a problem with is the first two. I know it is part of the fantasy, but I've never understood it.

You don't have to be a master yourself to write a story where your protagonist is a life long martial artists, or gunfighter. You should do your research and even do it somewhat, but if you don't know what you're doing you can still write something.

[Anonymous No.17199335]

>>17198951
>realize I'm only good at writing sex and dialogue
How exactly do you evaluate these?

[Anonymous No.17199345]

>>17199215
I think it would be more useful to think about the actual contents, what happened in those 500 words. Because the number really doesn't mean anything.

[Anonymous No.17199363]

>>17199215
Interesting. I'm a total wordprocessor babby, write a paragraph then rewrite then rewrite then rewrite, so it'd be difficult for me to record exact numbers, I've got out a 2500 word skeleton of a new chapter today but it's just going to be pass after pass until it's 5000ish.
Sometimes I wish I'd been born before word processors so I had to develop the ability to actually plan out what I want to do and write and what beats I want to hit ahead of time before actually putting pen to paper.

[Anonymous No.17199365]

>>17199335
as an erotica main, you just know. if you write erotica, you probably read it, and you read your own stuff when you edit it. if you enjoy your own stuff more than 90% of whatever else you read, or find yourself making faces at other peoples' dialogues and have readers regularly commenting on how good yours is, it's pretty safe to assume that it's a strength.

[Anonymous No.17199373]

>>17199256
That kind of stories exist so that dumb people can feel smart. But since the writers are also dumb, they can't write smart characters, all they can do is write dumb characters and tell everyone they're actually really smart, even while they do nothing but really dumb things. Fortunately, it works, because the readers are just that dumb, they believe a character is smart only because the writer told them so, and are unable to judge what happens for themselves.

[Anonymous No.17199387]

>>17199232
>The exchanges between Tywin and Tyrion, small council meetings, and Varys/Little finger pontificating about power were the best bits.
I hate stuff like that, because all I can think about is that it's being written by some 40 year old dudebro screenwriter who doesn't know shit about """power""" and got his job because his dad did Robert Redford's hair in the 70s

[Anonymous No.17199401]

>>17199345
Maybe. It works for me though. I've only had one short story published in a semi-decent journal but I tackled it with the same method. The novel I'm writing now is quite tight and I've sketched out what happens in each chapter, so most of it is moving the plot forward in some sense. Also, for rank beginners - people who have been writing for less than 18 months or so - I maintain that quantity is more important than quality. Cultivating discipline, a decent work ethic, and getting the inevitably bad early phases (clichés, pastiches) out of the way is easier like that. The best advice I would give a new writer would be to read as much as possible and write a short story every two weeks. I guarantee that there will be improvement. That's what I tell my students anyhow (creative writing club lmao)

[Anonymous No.17199431]

>>17199363
I was like that 100% until very recently to be fair. I used to take weeks to finish a single ~5k short story because I'd obsessively revise it and end up with 200-300 real words over a several hour session. Now I'm tackling a novel that will end up around 85k words, that approach simply isn't feasible, and I'm more concerned with getting a terrible first draft out that I can then edit (which is where my very best writing happens. I'm probably a more natural critic than I am a writer).

[Anonymous No.17199432]

>>17199387
you don't read much fiction, do you?

[Anonymous No.17199454]

>>17199432
No I only watch anime and manga drawn by real anime girls

[Anonymous No.17199482]

>>17199432
Big difference between a researched painstakingly written novel and the bongcloud musings on PoWeR LmAo you get in stuff like GoT
Although I dislike it when authors just cram in stuff they've blatantly researched too. Like we get it HP, you've read a book about different kinds of drill and different types of rock, enough, and GRRM, you've read a book about Mississippi steamboats, that's fine, but everything else about this book sucks ass

[Anonymous No.17199490]

>>17199482
Sounds like you just have a chip on your shoulder about successful screenwriters

[Anonymous No.17199496]

>>17199373
I'm trying to think of examples of what you are talking about, but the ones I can think of are already just bad in other ways.

[Anonymous No.17199636]

>>17197288
Yes. Isekai is the worst, laziest story telling option in the world and is meant purely for self insert and wish fulfillment with almost no exceptions. If you insist on doing something like that, at least make the MC from a different country or something instead of a different world entirely so he's not completely clueless.

[Anonymous No.17199771]

How much can I imitate a book without verging on plagiarizing? I'm trying to write something similar to a book I love, the only common thing is the main character meets a strange girl under a predicament. They then together solve the problem which then end with a bittersweet ending. That kind of plot itself is pretty common I think, but I also copy the way that author mostly use dialogues to advance the plot and a lot of inner monologues. The setting and characterizations are different though.

[Anonymous No.17199780]

>>17199636
The standard fantasy mechanic of characters explaining to the MC stuff he should rightfully know already, as if he's an alien from another world when he's not, is far more retarded. I don't want to read info dumps in any genre, but it gets only less appropriate the closer we get to conventional narratives, and not more so.

[Anonymous No.17199810]

>>17199780
>The standard fantasy mechanic of characters explaining to the MC stuff he should rightfully know already,
Yes, this is also garbage. That was established very early on in the comment chain. And I would hardly call that the 'fantasy standard.' Maybe shitty fantasy, but it's hardly a standard. And either way, an isekai MC is even worse.

[Anonymous No.17199903]

>>17188732
>noo you're not allowed to show deaths on stage! you have to use a messenger for that like a good, decent christian
it's just words on a page and context matters.

[Anonymous No.17199908]

>>17199771
the older the thing you copy the safer you are

[Anonymous No.17200061]

>>17199810
Yeah, cool. You've just made up some weird strawman argument, where the premise you approve always performs optimally and the premise you don't like is always the worst possible. There's no conversation to be had here.

[Anonymous No.17200163]

>>17200061
That's literally what you did. In your mind, the two options are "Isekai protagonist" or "Idiot MC that has to have everything explained to him even though he should know better." I'm the one trying to tell you that there are other options that are actually good.

[Anonymous No.17200859]

>>17200163
True that.

[Anonymous No.17201083]

>>17197605
So does the word "teams"

[Anonymous No.17201213]

https://pastebin.com/zf8LhmRi

This is the first chapter of a Military/Action/Horror novel I'm writing. Tell me what your thoughts, critiques, likes/dislikes are.

[Anonymous No.17201299]

>>17201213
Inconsistent past and present tense in the beginning, kind of distracting. Also way too many one sentence paragraphs breaking up the flow.

[Anonymous No.17201338]

>>17201213
about what i would expect of anything fiction tagged with "military"
i.e. complete trash
/lit/ is not your target audience for that kind of thing though

[Anonymous No.17201383]

>>17181750
I decided last night to just write out all of my experiences with women. every crush, every girlfriend, every female friend. I want to write a romance story. I thought i would find some pattern or some common thread i could turn into a narrative with some underlying philosophy or moral. I got nothing. It's boring.
I asked a lot of friends questions about women. Basically I wanted to find what women contribute to men other than sex. What do you get from them besides sex and children that you can't get from a hooker/porn and friends.
Nothing. There is nothing. You can definitely meet women who are cool, who you can be friends with who are smart etc. It's not as common as guy friends, but it can happen. But I thought someone would tell me that women have something about them that completes a man. Something we don't have on our own. And they don't. Really the only point to ever spend any time on a woman is if you want kids, which I do. I suppose that's my conclusion. I don't know. Men are so preoccupied with getting a woman. Maybe you just get one so you can focus on other things, like jerking off so you can stop thinking about jerking off and just get on with your day. I just don't want to write some mgtow crap. I won't write a book like that. But I want to write something based in reality.

[Anonymous No.17201652]

>>17201383
you have to be over 12 to post here

[Anonymous No.17201898]

>>17201383
Women have a manipulative instinct that non-sociopathic men lack. This causes them to affirm certain behaviors and punish others in their partner in order to make themselves more comfortable. Most men find this relationship more symbiotic than parasitic and come to value it. That's as autistic as I can put it for your dumb ass, now gtfo and graduate high school.

[Anonymous No.17201938]

>>17201898
so like lady macbeth

[Anonymous No.17202179]

>>17201652
im over 30, anon.

[Anonymous No.17202212]

>>17202179
wew

[Anonymous No.17202260]

>>17201898
It annoyed the fuck out of me when my exes would try to do that, I'd just shut down emotionally towards them

[Anonymous No.17202313]

>>17202260
>I'd just shut down emotionally towards them
ngmi. grow up, learn to communicate

[Anonymous No.17202377]

>>17202260
i was the same. when they started trying to play their fucking bullshit games, i would put my foot down. i would tell them to just talk to me like a fucking adult about what they wanted and how they were feeling. they would usually then shut down, and i would leave and never hear from them again. happened 3 times so far. lol if you leave on top with your dignity, you will never see them again. they will never call you. they will never admit you were wright and they were wrong. they will just move onto some other dude and forget about you.

[Anonymous No.17202895]

Wait a minute this isn't /soc/.

[Anonymous No.17202919]

Post something you wrote today, anons

[Anonymous No.17203968]

>>17199018

Stephen King does 2k a day, but SK does cocaine so i figure 1k a day is a good compromise. I've been able to keep it going for around 60 days now, definitely getting a lot more done than when I did 4-5k in a day during manic episodes and then nothing for months.

[Anonymous No.17203979]

>>17199048

I do and I write almost exactly like you do. The first outline i made was like 2k words, I've just been going back over and layering content

[Anonymous No.17204003]

>>17199345

Sometimes I write sections of over 5k words just on a character reflecting on the current situation.

[Anonymous No.17204054]

>>17201338

Why do so many ex soldiers from any military branch do Zombie fiction? I must have read something like 20 different Zombie books that give me a "this was written by a retired military dude, wasn't it?" tingle and I'm always right.

[Anonymous No.17204059]

I'm writing out the plot to my next novel and jesus christ multi-pov can take it out of you. I'm doing better than I was before but this is still looking like an absolute clusterfuck.

I know I said four POVs but I've already written short scenes for four more on top of that. This shit is going to get tangled fast

[Anonymous No.17204072]

>>17202179

That makes me sad

[Anonymous No.17204082]

>>17204072
sometimes reality is sad, anon.

[Anonymous No.17204084]

>>17202919

[Anonymous No.17204108]

>>17204054
soldiers are already used to gunning down what they see as filthy subhuman hordes. they write what they know.

[Anonymous No.17204146]

>>17201383
Sounds like a really strong foundation for a novel targeted directly at men who have no luck with women. It would basically validate their romantic failings with "well women don't contribute anything anyway". Like an anti-romance novel I guess. Maybe you add up all your romantic experiences into an anthology with the underlying theme being that you in a relationship is no better off than you alone. Obviously you would have to have a main "love interest" which keeps the reader questioning whether it will all work out and then you show how she is representative of all the other women.

[Anonymous No.17204231]

>>17204146

Anti-romance

[Anonymous No.17204234]

>>17202919
I've had this exact thing happen to me but I worry my autistic foibles are too unrelatable

[Anonymous No.17204286]

>>17204234

tfw autism is hereditary

[Anonymous No.17204355]

>>17199908
It's pretty recent though, is copying the style only still considered plagiarism?

[Anonymous No.17204432]

>>17204146
i really don't want to do that. i like a good love story, i think we have nothing without that. i want to have a family one day. this is all just me trying to figure everything out together.

I made a list of a lot of movies i like with love stories in them and analyzed them too but although i like those stories, i couldn't really relate to them.

for example, True Romance. Their relatinoship is nothing like any of mine.

Actually several of my favorites have exactly the same plot. Eternal sunshine, solaris, Vanilla Sky and Inception.
The male protagonist has a female love interest who is not real. She is merely the manifestation of his memories of her. He thinks he still loves her but he gradually has to realize that this version of her isn't real. The movie is the character's chance to let go by indulging in an exploration of that fantasy. It's a way to get it out of your system because if you suppress your emotions, they don't go away, they only linger as forbidden emotions.
It's also a reality check that you never really knew or loved that person. You became attached by the version of them you idealized in your mind.

That's so fucking sad. How the fuck can i meet a chick get married and have kids if that's all their is?

I have to be wrong, Anon.

[Anonymous No.17204445]

>>17204432
the choice to die alone is out of your hands

[Anonymous No.17204665]

[Anonymous No.17204883]

>>17204445
no, i mean, ive had plenty of girlfriends. i usually break yp with them because i don't want to play the game, but i could marry the next one if i want to. if by die alone you mean, the day you day, okay sure, but im talking about being alone for decades and having no kids and shit. that is not my fate. changing that is definitely within my hands. i could easily knock up a fat chick if i was desperate. not there yet tho.

[Anonymous No.17204908]

I’m the poor sap from >>>17202729 I thought I would give this place a try. No context, just a random passage from the sci-fi I’m working on:
“Tryg?” Kimber whispered from her side of the bed.
“Yeah?”
“You know we have to tell them.”
He turned on his side to face her. Her eyes were deep in thought, her face determined.
TryggR sighed, “why does it have to be us?”
“Because you were the one who was there, idiot.”
TryggR turned again to face the ceiling. He staired at the walls, unblinking before answering. “If Zer0 wanted to say something, he would. It’s not our place to butt into his business.”
“And what is he supposed to say to getting his ass slapped so casually? Really, what do you do in that situation? A person you do not know well who you are supposed to be working with, is making jolly good conversation with you, plants a hand on your molasses, and continues on with their day as if that’s normal? I mean, Zer0 is a smart guy, sure. You know as well as I do that the dude doesn’t get basic social etiquette though, and that’s like... I don’t even know how I would handle that situation in that moment.”
“You would pull out your pocket blaster and shoot them, Kim,” TryggR glanced over, “you would shoot them.”
Kimber went on, “she knows what she’s doing, too. She doesn’t pull this crap around Obsidian and Sumac for a reason, she knows she can get away with it around the others because frankly-“
TryggR rushed his finger over his mouth to create a big shush. This only encouraged Kimber to raise her volume.
“-oh you are thinking it too, they’re pussies. That’s what this program trains them to be. Lay down at any point of authority, only they go full horse breaker because why would people like us go on suicide missions otherwise? It’s mind-fucking-control bro, we’re bottom of the barrel do-what-we’re-tolds.”
“Not everyone can be as outspoken as you,” he was rubbing his hands into eyes at this point. There would be no getting out of confronting this. It was a matter of when to give in. He turned his back to her and continued, “I wish you would be less judgemental. You think we’re better than everyone else.”
“I’m only vocalizing it. You can pretend you hate yourself, but I’m not going to fake humility.”
“So,” TryggR changed his tone, “we’re going through with it? You’ll talk to Obsidian-“
“-while you gather the rest to attest for Lump’s behavior. I know you wanted to get her booted a long time ago.”
Tryggr nodded, “but we didn’t have the right opportunity.”
1/2

[Anonymous No.17205167]

>>17199048
Yeah I aim for 2k a day broken up into 2 sessions

[Anonymous No.17205548]

You ever just obsess over all the little mistakes/things you said/thought and look back on disgust, coping by writing your entire life story in a night to record all of it?