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/lit/ - Literature

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17098362 No.17098362 [Reply] [Original]

He is right. Tolkien is the wen on the arse of fantasy.
He should have included some elven pussy sex scenes.

>> No.17098382

>>17098362
I want to say
>t. guy whose life is void of sex
but pathetically, he probably gets laid pretty frequently with blue-haired 5/10 nerd girls

>> No.17098390

>>17098362
Lord of the rings and The hobbit are literally childrens books though? Am I missing something?

>> No.17098411

>>17098382
He was a hippie in the 70s. Pretty sure he had lots of sex before being famous.

>> No.17098420
File: 173 KB, 1125x1182, EpxWpUUXcAM9BSI.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17098420

>>17098411
He looked like this.

>> No.17098428
File: 205 KB, 1600x1201, frodo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17098428

>>17098362
How do you say pussy in Quenya?

>> No.17098435

>>17098362
Literally retard-tier statements.

>> No.17098705

>>17098435
His retard-tier statements made him rich.

>> No.17098930

>>17098362
Looked up and seems like he didn't actually say that

It's shitposting

>> No.17098940
File: 31 KB, 620x413, 1402920557803.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17098940

>>17098362
>Frodo rose from its chair. The suckling pig with 'taters and onions dipped in garlic juice laid restless on the silver plate, inlaid with gold. Sam rose with him, a curious look on his face.
>'What's the matter lord Frodo? Is something a miss?'
>'Where's that elf whore I was promised, Sam? I came here to jest and whore my last days away, and I'm out of jest already.' said Frodo, face red with the dark Rivendell wine he drank, a red stain on his fine satin tunic. 'I want my whore and I WANT HER NOW!'
>Sam always hated when he shouted. There were days when Frodo could be as sweet and innocent as a maid on her wedding night, but there were others when he could become aggressive if something was to his dislike. This was one of those days. He always shouted when he was angry. And he always turned violent when he shouted.
>Please gods, not on my face. Please, I've been good to lord Frodo, don't let him turn his rage on my face, please!
>'Sam? My dear Sam, look at me' a sly smile was on Frodo's face, and with a gentle hand, he brushed Sam's cheek, as a man pets his dog. 'You've always been good to me, haven't you Sam? You've always been there for me... You've always been a good boy, haven't you?'
>Fear struck on his face as he watched his master unbutton his breaches. His erect cock was out before Sam could muster any sound.
>'Now Sam, let's see how deep is your Bag's End.'

>> No.17098964

>>17098940
kek

>> No.17098975

>>17098940
bretty good XDD

>> No.17098983

GRRM is a massive fan of Tolkien, in context he is just talking about how their writing style differed. H

>> No.17099153

>>17098983
HH BRÜDER

>> No.17099411
File: 86 KB, 645x600, 645px-Darrell_Sweet_-_The_King_at_the_Cross-Roads.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17099411

>>17098362
Tolkien was writing mythology, not fantasy. The fact that GRRM doesn't understand this, as shown by your quote and many others [Aragorn as king, Gandalf's resurrection], is proof if proof were needed that the man is a complete charlatan. He is also absolutely repulsive to look and quite possibly possessed by demons. I hope diabetes takes his limbs before he finally chokes to death on a ham sandwich, the cunt.

>> No.17099415

>>17099411
who hurt you

>> No.17099441

>>17099415

Shut your mouth whore

>> No.17099516

>>17098411
nah he was a serial simp who always wrote stories about being in the friendzone

>> No.17099546

>>17098411
Him and Alan Ginsberg

>> No.17099548

>>17098362
>that pic
That was very insulting towards asexual people.

>> No.17099557 [DELETED] 
File: 63 KB, 1024x576, 4D8734FD-B694-4345-B36A-B3C169266165.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17099557

Books about being a Fascist?

>> No.17099947
File: 31 KB, 601x508, nobody cared what I felt until I put on the mask.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17099947

>>17099548
>asexual
Y-yeah, haha

>> No.17100176

>>17098362
The only people who constantly wonder about sex are nerds, losers and sociopaths, really no other type of human beings would wonder of wish to wonder where hobbits come from.

>> No.17100215

>>17098382
>250 pound, 60 year old, blue-haired 5/10 nerd girls
Fixed. Even the desperate young don't want Santa.
>>17099516
This

>> No.17100310

>>17098362
Not that I've ever read his books or seen more than snippets of the show, but GRRM strikes me as overly obsessed with sex. And a pretty juvenile idea of sex. There are plenty of adults, probably a majority, for whom sex is a pleasurable activity they engage in whenever they can, but it's not their main motivation or obsession. Anybody with a career or who has ever produced meaningful work has probably had to choose work over sex at some point.

>> No.17100612
File: 143 KB, 404x496, 1579296262540.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17100612

>>17098940
>'What's your name, wench?' Faramir spoke gruffly.
>'Rosie Cotton, but most call me Rose, if it please m'lord' answered the stout hobbit female, if indeed a creature barely three feet tall could be called that. Faramir noticed that her skirt lambasted many crudely drawn floral motifs, such as they were. Still, it was tattered and its hems were dirty.
>'We had a name for those of your kind in Gondor, though I dare say they were not as diminutive, far from it, my dear bulbous rose', mused Faramir while a nasty grin bloomed across his face.
>'M'lord'?
>'We called them slam-sows, and you fit the type. If your cunt is accomodating enough, we can play enter-my-castle ere the day is done'. He started unclasping his sword belt.
>'But...Samwise -'
>...is only half a man. Time for you to ascertain the full length of your boundaries. Get in that grass hole like a good gopher, I don't have all day. That pointed-hat pederast is bound to come knocking before I finish...'
>The round door closed with a rusty whine, and soon grunts could be heard, as when a cumbersome lad straddles a pig on a dare.

>> No.17100637

I would've said "There's plenty of normal bodily functions that aren't included at every step of a novel like pissing and shidding" but then I remembered he loves writing those moments too.

Who cares though, he's a hack.

>> No.17101464

>>17098705
...like kanye west or kim kardashian.

>> No.17101756

>The hobbit is simply embarrassed into compliance by his elven betters. The ideas he believes become a dangerous mental disease. This diagnosis is written into history. The sooner he gives up this nonsense, the better. To help convince him, we'll make this idea quasi-illegal. The sooner he gives it up, the less his life will suffer. Eventually he can be fired for staying an idiot. Everyone will agree that he deserved it.

>> No.17101784

makes me wonder how often is george's life full of sex