Professor roasted me in front of entire class

[Anonymous No.16518975]

My very pregnant creative writing professor was super pissed she had to read my short story. Like, full on screaming at me during my review time asking me why I wrote what I wrote and that it was the most digusting and vile shit she ever read in her life. She was so offended, so angry, that she spent 5-10 mins doing it.

I don't even remember how long or what the exact comments were because I was absolutely frozen getting stared down by 20+ classmates. Also, students were supposed to review my story and hand me back their comments on it. She skipped all of it so I never got any real feedback that wasn't from her. This is where you guys come in.

The first 1/4 is cringe, but I think the last 1/2 is at least somewhat entertaining. It's titled "Saudade":

https://saudade.glitch.me

[Anonymous No.16518979]

>>16518975
https://saudade.glitch.me

[Anonymous No.16519028]

>>16518975
you should kick her in the stomach until you kill her unborn baby lol

[Anonymous No.16519038]

>>16518975
Black lives matter

[Anonymous No.16519042]

>>16519028
Funny you say that... read the story lol. Should be super obvious as to why she sperged out.

[Anonymous No.16519046]

>>16518975
Maybe you should remind her that her salary is paid by you & the taxpayers. That's all you have to do. Then withdraw and submit a complaint to some sort of public forum. These people never had a real job, they're arrogant and they promote Communism.

[Anonymous No.16519048]

>>16519042
tl;dr sorry OP. women shouldn't be allowed to teach though

[Anonymous No.16519050]

>>16519038
If you have to repeat it ad nauseam, they most likely don't LMAO

[Anonymous No.16519055]

>>16518975
> Then enfold me in your zeal… expose me to your every need! Press your moist lips to me, where every surreptitious secret will be freed. Sprinkle your cry athwart my cheek, come clean every desire. I will moan your name as you label me yours and lay down my heart on flames!”

[Anonymous No.16519061]

>>16519038
Op did you write this

[Anonymous No.16519065]

>>16519061
Fuck

[Anonymous No.16519071]

>>16519055
I know.......... pls kill me. D:

>>16519061
Lol I can't see your image. Btw, it's a website, so you can make the text bigger if you need to! Should I just make the text bigger by default?

[Anonymous No.16519096]

>>16518975
I personally like King Demavend.

[Anonymous No.16519140]

>>16518975
>Once more, she whispered, “Saudade.”
you deserved it

[Anonymous No.16519151]

>>16518975
You wrote provocatively without being a provoker who could take the ensuing reaction.

[Anonymous No.16519203]

>>16518975
I liked it OP. She's just angry because of the abortion scene. Wish there were had been more spergs in my creative writing class.

[Anonymous No.16519212]

>>16519140
Lol yea I pretty much tacked on that last scene cause I was looking for a title.

>>16519151
The thing is, I didn't feel like I wrote provocatively in the first place. Which is why I was so shocked. I really think it had to do something with her being pregnant. I guess it was just my dumbass not writing for the audience (pregnant professor in this case it seems).

After the class, I got a few good comments as we were walking out. I wish I had the balls at the time to ask her to continue my review with my peers...

Not saying my story is some worthy shit... I just was really looking forward to the feedback from everyone else and I just didn't get it. When I would review other people's stories, I'd leave comments and my reactions everywhere and that's what I thought I'd get too. :(

[Anonymous No.16519259]

>>16519203
Thanks! And yea, I know what you mean. Looking back, we had great writers in our class, but none of us really challenged anyone critically when it came to writing. You would read a story and finish thinking "what a nice story" but that's it.

[Anonymous No.16519302]

>They make sweet syrupy true love

[Anonymous No.16519314]

>>16519046
Teaching isn't a real job?

[Anonymous No.16519360]

>>16519302
I know... I cringed so hard when I re-read this story before I posted it. xD

[Anonymous No.16519363]

>Alianor looked at him in doubt and shook her head to the side. Geralt, agitated, encircles her throat his left hand and beats her, most careful not to bruise her.
Did you mean to say Ivan?
>He screams, “Muahaaaaahaaaahaaahaaha!”
lol. Yeah it's very cringe and fanfiction tier amateurish but I don't think you deserved to be humiliated, but maybe consider what subject matter is appropriate for class first. But yeah, that story sucked balls. I hope you weren't discouraged by the ordeal though. And if you're to write story in a pseudo historical setting, do research a bit more about the real world counter parts—allows for a better constructed world.
>“CLING… CLING… BLONG! SHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh WOoosh TISH!”
Seriously, were you on drugs when you wrote this? Also, as I finished it I realised the Geralt name shared in the witcher series was no coincidence, since I googled Demavend and he's from that too(never played/read it myself); what the fuck were you thinking? A video game abortion cucking fanfic for your English class? Come on, man. Maybe you did deserve a 10 minute scolding but in front of your peers is too cruel. I hope it was a valuable lesson nonetheless.

[Anonymous No.16519540]

>>16518975
Nothing wrong with your story. You should report this to a department head. Your professor was way out of line.

[Anonymous No.16519551]

>>16519363
>Did you mean to say Ivan?
Wow, nice catch.

>witcher series
Finally someone noticed. Btw, the scene with the jesters dancing, wrestling, and farting flame is from the intro for Witcher 2. Watch it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwCXw8m0PHI

The names + that specific scene were the only things I stole from the Witcher lol.

>consider what subject matter is appropriate for class first
Oh yea, 100% agreed. I learned what writing for your audience meant that day lol. Btw, this was about 6+ yrs ago.

>do research a bit more about the real world counter parts—allows for a better constructed world.
Yep, I was just adding shit in cause I thought it was cool. Like trebuchets outside your home castle for absolutely no reason etc.

>were you on drugs when you wrote this
Lol, it was like 1 am when I was writing this and I had to study for other exams.

>video game abortion cucking fanfic
Lol, I didn't plan this out with a storyboard! I just started writing sequentially without regard for anything.

>I hope it was a valuable lesson nonetheless.
It was. Also, thanks for your in-depth comments. This is the type of review/comments on my pages that I was hoping for that day :)

[Anonymous No.16519575]

>>16519551
>6 years ago
And you're posting about it now why?

[Anonymous No.16519582]

>>16519065
No, that guy actually has literary talent

[Anonymous No.16519617]

>>16519575
Because I'd remember it from time to time and just cringe about everything - the writing, the yelling, everyone staring at you, etc. And it just sucked not getting any feedback from classmates after you took the time to review everyone else's work.

I posted it here for relief. I got some nice/critical comments on this thread and I already feel better. Now, I can just forget about this entirely. Also, this is the first time I put my "work" on the internet, so that feels somewhat nice too.

Maybe I will try writing again now that I know more. I used to write a lot of stories as a child and just sort of stopped. I really enjoyed it at the time and re-reading Saudade and ppls comments here bought back some sort of joy.

My new stories will still probably be shit, but hey, it's fun. Thank you guys for reading :)

[Anonymous No.16519657]

>>16519617
I want more info on the yelling. How did your classmates look at you? What exactly did you feel? How did the professor treat you on future workshops?

[Anonymous No.16519895]

“Argh… you insolent wench!”

[Anonymous No.16519919]

>>16519657

>I want more info on the yelling.
It was fucking loud. Like I murdered her child or like Karen being wronged by a cashier. Straight up condemnation of the worst kind. I legit thought I committed a crime or something and thought my college days were over. But, she had some mercy on me (see end of this post).

>How did your classmates look at you?
Classmates were simply shocked. I honestly don't think they've ever experienced something like this. It wasn't a typical classroom: the chairs were arranged in a large circle/rectangle so everyone can see each others faces. They were staring at her with eyes wide open and exchanging glances with me with the kind of sympathy awe you give to a husband being scolded in public by their wives. You can't intervene but you can't help but signal that you understand what they're going through.

>What exactly did you feel?
Like I said, like I committed a crime. I am a quiet/reserved person who doesn't like attracting attention. Combine that with looking forward to my review and comments, hearing her first sentences made my heart fucking drop like on a roller-coaster with no bottom. It kept getting deeper and deeper and after a minute of trying to deal with it, I simply sort of zoned out: it will be over soon, it's ok - this is simply temporary etc.

>How did the professor treat you on future workshops?
I dunno how I had the balls to come to class after that lol. Honestly, I walked into class the next time and it was as if nothing really happened.

Btw, I was an engineering student at the time and I this was my second semester of creative writing because I liked writing stuff and wanted it as my electives. That said, after experiencing this shit, I was too scared to write anything "original" and I started plagiarizing all my works after that.

I got caught. I copied a fucking anime episode and I got complacent in the dialogue and the auto detectors got me. It was fucking like 3 am and I was studying for my engineering exams and I said fuck it, I don't care anymore and submitted it. Holy fuck, she told me not to come to class and to meet her at her office. I was shitting bricks and when it came to it, I was suddenly washed over by a cold wave and felt like someone who has come to terms with their possible death would and walked in to accept my dying.

She told me that she would not report me for plagiarizing because she did not want to ruin my life. We'd spoken like one time before this whole incident and I told her that I was an engineering student and she was super surprised anyone like me would take creative writing. I told her I just wanted to do it as a hobby. So, I think that's why she had pity on me since I wasn't trying to become an actual full fledged writer and maybe that whole critique incident...

She allowed me to come to class and participate but I was 100% automatically getting an F at the end of the semester no matter what. Gonna continue in next post...

[Anonymous No.16519954]

>>16519919
Engineers at my school are allowed to convert ONE grade and ONLY ONE grade out of your entire four years to a pass/no pass grade that does NOT affect your GPA.

So, I basically got let go from plagiarizing, avoiding getting an F for my GPA which was in somewhat dire straits already.

Her criticism was harsh and over the top, but I don't hate her. She was simply resonating with the wronging of my Alianor character. It was pure evil without any real character development. Alianor wasn't even a "real" character - just a vessel that other characters harmed for their own evilness for a very thinly veiled character development.

Honestly glad I got assblasted because I was writing these superficial characters that are unrealistic.

And I thank my professor for not throwing me into a fire when it came to plagiarizing. My life would have been absolutely fucked otherwise.

[Anonymous No.16520000]

>>16519919
>anime
You should die.

[Anonymous No.16520007]

>>16519919
>anime episode
kek what was it?

[Anonymous No.16520078]

>>16519046
Based

[Anonymous No.16520092]

she should have executed you lmao

[Anonymous No.16520117]

Is this a joke thread? Has anyone read this? It's like an 11 yeah old girl wrote this for fanfiction.net

His hair blows with the wind as he shouts, “Faster, faster, my dear horse! The time has come where I rightfully take what is mine! The lands which he bought from under my nose! I shall make him pay and have his head!”

He snickers maniacally, hands twitching, “Then I shall be lord of that domain! Hehehe… Faster I say, faster!” He whips the horse swiftly, which shrieked and jerked with each stinging hit.

He screams, “Muahaaaaahaaaahaaahaaha!” as they gallop into the woods, heading back to town.

[Anonymous No.16520133]

>>16520117
kek, is this the new 'Eye of Argon'?

[Anonymous No.16520141]

>>16520000
>>16520007
Golden Boy / Danger! The Virgin's First Love
ゴールデンボーイ/ 危機!乙女の初恋

Summary:
> A car accident has left the owner of an udon restaurant temporarily handicapped, and Kintarō is helping out and learning the trade. The owner's daughter, Noriko has a well-heeled suitor, but a series of events leads Kintarō to doubt his sincerity.

You can watch the specific episode here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ELBuDyvZ_g

At the time, I was really resonating with Golden Boy and what he was doing:
>a 25-year-old freeter, pervert, and "travelling student"
and I wanted to write a story about him so badly but I was so swamped by engineering exams and the dread of the next critique that I plagiarized it. Yea, my logic was pretty bad...

[Anonymous No.16520154]

So if I got the story right a wife cheats on her husband, gets pregnant

Husband kills the embryo and beheads her lover, justice served

The end

[Anonymous No.16520159]

>>16518975
Well anon, as far as horrible pulp goes, it's rather better than I'd expect from a generic creative writing class, and yeah, probably more competent than your peers were. My favourite bit isn't the syrupy true love or anything, it's the delighted description of

>On the tables were steamy roasted lamb, boiled spiced beef, and chicken garnished with fresh juicy tomatoes, crunchy lettuce, and eye-tearing onions.

Very fantasy genre. Anyway, if you could trim the romance and the boring duel down a bit you could have a good solid line in abortion themed NTR going here.

[Anonymous No.16520160]

>>16520117
i only read the first 2 pages, reminded me of don juan

[Anonymous No.16520162]

>>16520117
>>16519895
Never claimed I wrote something worthy of reading. Just wanted to share my experience. But, yea those paragraphs and most of the story are extremely weak.

>>16519540
Was 6+ yrs ago. Just posting this to get it off my back. But, thanks!

[Anonymous No.16520169]

>>16518975
Stopped reading at Geralt what kind of fucking name is that

[Anonymous No.16520185]

>>16519046
>the customer is king
holy shit I hate you burger shits. OP's writing sucks ass and he deserves to be ridiculed. It's worse than that dragon sex book by anon's brother

[Anonymous No.16520187]

>>16520169
See >>16519551 . Stole it from the Witcher series xD

>>16520154
Correct. I know it's shit tho, don't worry.

>>16520159
>delighted description
Thanks! That's actually my most favorite part of writing: just describing stuff. Maybe I should attempt writing something without any dialogue or real plot just to see how far I get. When I read other peoples stories, it's those sort of random details that take me away from being a person sitting on my bed reading to someone who's actually there experiencing things. It makes me want to set the book down and daydream about the scenario then pick it back up and continue reading. It's why I got back into reading myself.

[Anonymous No.16520190]

>>16518975
>Muahaaaaahaaaahaaahaaha

[Anonymous No.16520195]

>>16520185
OP here, the people making those comments just read my post and didn't read my short story. Everyone who read the story already knows it's shit including me.

[Anonymous No.16520210]

>>16520169
The main character of this Polish video game Witcher is also named Geralt. He is a witch, I guess, I never played it. But he has a sword and kills people, which is probably where OP got his inspiration to write his self-insert fanfic

[Anonymous No.16520217]

>>16520190
I know, cringe D:

>>16520210
I didn't self-insert myself anywhere. If you read the short story (that I do not blame you for not reading cause it's shit anyway), you would know nothing good happens to anyone in the story. Like at all.

[Anonymous No.16520226]

>>16520187
>most favorite
op Im about to start yelling at you infront of everyone here if you keep writing like this

[Anonymous No.16520229]

>>16520217
Yeah? What does the have to do with anything? I bet you imagined yourself as Henry Cavrill with his sword and horse slaying people and being op

[Anonymous No.16520256]

>>16520226
Lol, I'm sorry! When I typeon 4chan, I just sort of spill everything out super fast. I think I did it again with "super" though...

>>16520229
Nah, when it comes to imagining myself in olden times, I pick the people living away in the countryside in peace from the cities. I get no satisfaction from dreaming of chopping people in half. I get satisfaction from being alone with my time and being able to do what I want peacefully like reading or tending a small garden. Which is what I already do. Sorry if I seem arrogant.

[Anonymous No.16520286]

>>16520256
Well, your story reads like one of those quests in Skyrim
> investigate what's going on with Alinor and her lover what's his face
> decide how to deal with her infidelity
> kill npcs

[Anonymous No.16520300]

>>16519954
Surprisingly sane, OP. I'm glad you got your catharsis today.

[Anonymous No.16520324]

You absolutely deserved to be publicly shamed for turning a shitty fanfiction in for a creative writing class

[Anonymous No.16520338]

>>16520286
Now you put it that way, I get why you thought that. Just for context, I wrote this over the course of a few days in college 6+ yrs ago while studying for exams. I didn't really put in as much effort into it as I wanted. Throughout the story, there are spurts of sentences I was really proud of, but the rest of the story was just trying to chain them together so it made some sense so I would not fail the class.

I sort of regretted taking the class after the writing assignments started since my engineering classes were taking up so much of my time. I felt like a dumbass doing all this "extra" work while my other engineering classmates took easy classes so they can focus on what mattered to get the degree.

But, in the end, I am glad I went through all that trouble since I learned so much from it. I am starting another writing exercise for myself soon and am going to take my sweet time.

>>16520300
Thank you :)

[Anonymous No.16520399]

>>16518975
>full on screaming
>the most digusting and vile shit she ever read in her life
Writing profs, particularly younger ones, are usually better at not letting unintended compliments slip out.

>They make sweet syrupy true love and Geralt bids goodnight. He left in a moment, with the help of the window’s iron ledge, and jumped into an oak tree which made a crackling sound. He scaled down hurriedly and disappeared into the night.
>Soon thereafter, the door slammed open. “Alianor! What was that sou— why are you nude?”
>Stunned, she attempts to cover her body. Ivan, her husband, runs to the window and sees the broken branch of the oak tree. He hurdles onto the bed
He hurdles onto the bed?

>Alianor looked at him in doubt and shook her head to the side. Geralt, agitated, encircles her throat his left hand and beats her, most careful not to bruise her.
Did Geralt climb back in through the window at some point? Surely your professor would have caught this.

>>16519551
>6 years ago
Sources say your domain name is twelve years old though.

[Anonymous No.16520454]

>>16520399
>hurdles
So I think I picked this word because of the definition:
>an artificial barrier over which racers must leap
Like, running so fast, jumping over the edge of the bed and then landing on it. I agree with you though, I could have used a better word.

>Did Geralt climb back in through the window at some point? Surely your professor would have caught this.
Nah, I accidentally swapped the names. It should be Ivan. Someone else on this thread also caught the same issue. I wanted to correct it, but I figured I'd just leave the original text as I wrote it many years ago because I'd feel a need to fix many things.

>Sources say your domain name is twelve years old though.
Oh, it's not my domain. Check out https://glitch.com/ . I used it to make a static website for posting my story. I wanted to add a nice picture and a dark background so anons can read it without being blinded by white light.

[Anonymous No.16520482]

>>16520454
>domain
I also added this cute snake icon. You can see it on your tabs lol. :)

It was kind of an excuse to make a little website too since most of my work is software engineering and I make stuff I don't really enjoy. I enjoyed formatting my story for the web and adding these little quirks. :D

[Anonymous No.16520516]

>>16520117
i'm laughing like an idiot imagining this idiot laughing like an idiot while riding his horse
.....Saudade

[Anonymous No.16520526]

>>16520210
>He is a witch, I guess, I never played it
no, he's a witcher, which is why it's called The Witcher

[Anonymous No.16520542]

>>16519065
Not bad, if not quite Horia Belcea's seminal work, "The Synthesis of the Objective and the Subjective."

[Anonymous No.16520615]

>>16520516
Dude, I laughed at the same part lol. It's just comical like an old cartoon or movie that aged badly xD

[Anonymous No.16520620]

>>16520482
I didn't know about that hosting site, looks good. did you make that website yourself, or do they give you a gallery of templates to start from?

[Anonymous No.16520678]

Nigga wtf does saudade even mean

[Anonymous No.16520682]

>saudade

[Anonymous No.16520699]

>sneedade

[Anonymous No.16520701]

>>16520620
They give you a very basic barebones starter. If you know HTML/CSS, you can do whatever you want with it. I simply manually converted my word doc into HTML.

Go to
view-source:https://saudade.glitch.me/

As you can see, it's just text like <p>text here</p> with a title. There's a lot of extra stuff on that page that you don't really need, but you can safely ignore it.

For CSS (the stuff that themes/styles the site), I used:
https://holidaycss.js.org/

It set up the content width, dark background, fonts, etc. for me.

For the picture, I found an image on Google Images, inverted the colors, photoshopped it with the magic wand tool to remove the background, and uploaded it on that site.

Lemme know if you have more questions.

[Anonymous No.16520712]

>>16520678
Lol the definition of the word is actually part of the story too! But, I will copy it from a dictionary for you:
>a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia that is supposedly characteristic of the Portuguese or Brazilian temperament.
>"her songs are based on love poems and evoke a melancholy known to the Portuguese as saudade"

[Anonymous No.16520733]

>>16520712
Hmm interesting word I like it

[Anonymous No.16520748]

>circle-style classroom

I had that too in creative writing, and a couple other classes. Uncomfortable.

[Anonymous No.16520791]

Look here, you guys. Things resonate with you, you don't resonate with things. Got it? I'm getting awfully tired of telling people this.

[Anonymous No.16520794]

>>16520733
Right? At the time, I was searching for a word for that kind of feeling and when I found it, I quickly changed the ending to forcefully use it and then titled it the same. Good times.

[Anonymous No.16520832]

>>16518975
>pregnant creative writing profressor screams at you because of your text
she just mad you aint the daddy. you prolly exude too much basedness somehow

[Anonymous No.16520849]

>>16519055
I like it?

[Anonymous No.16520860]

>>16520712
Personally I think the "Portuguese-ness" of saudade is a little overstated by them. I don't think the word encompasses any more subtle shade of meaning than "nostalgia" or "longing" does. When people say "I have saudade of such and such" in common parlance they literally just mean that they miss that thing

[Anonymous No.16520863]

>>16520141
Genuinely surprised that the program picked up on anime dialogue.

[Anonymous No.16520910]

>>16520863
I know, me too. But, then it made complete sense because there are free databases of subtitles out there for every show on the planet. It would be relatively trivial and valuable to add subtitles as a source of plagiarism.

>>16520849
Thank you :]

>>16520860
Yea, I get what you mean. I've personally never heard of that word until I found it that day though.

[Anonymous No.16520911]

>>16519919
>I got caught. I copied a fucking anime episode
>what are we doing on the bed onii chan
you're lucky plagiarism wasn't the only charge

[Anonymous No.16521023]

>>16520911
>you're lucky plagiarism wasn't the only charge
Ha, it was a relatively tame anime episode which is hilarious because most of the show was pretty perverted. I posted it here if you want to watch the episode: >>16520141

[Anonymous No.16521798]

>>16520748
I had it in my A Level English Lit class. The class was very meek and the teacher was really kind and cool so it was peak comfy. Loved those lessons, made me love English Lit.

[Anonymous No.16521813]

>>16520454
Glitch itself is 20 years old

[Anonymous No.16521985]

Report her to the department head or student HR whatever the fuck you call it.
Teachers shouldnt be talking to students like that. Say it scarred you and now you suffering from anxiety and have panic attacks when you think about going back to class.

[Anonymous No.16522202]

>>16519314
It isn't. Real jobs don't exist anymore.

[Anonymous No.16522234]

>>16518975
> “CLING… CLING… BLONG! SHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh WOoosh TISH!”
nigga pls

[Anonymous No.16522264]

>>16519065
this is unironically very good

[Anonymous No.16522379]

>>16520542
>>16522264
How goddamn new does one have to be to not recognize such a stable of board culture? Unironically lurk moar

[Anonymous No.16522896]

>>16522379
*staple

[Anonymous No.16523699]

>>16522234
sometimes you just need that onomonapia yo

[Anonymous No.16523755]

>>16518975
>I don't even remember how long or what the exact comments were because I was absolutely frozen getting stared down by 20+ classmates.
Bro you can't let this happen, you have to be stronger, more self-confident and self-sufficient than that.

[Anonymous No.16523792]

>>16519314
Being a government paid professor who teaches Critical Theory isn't a real job. A real job is something that operates in the real economy. It provides for a demand that doesn't live off taxpayer dime.

[Anonymous No.16523804]

>>16518975
I thought the story was based OP

[Anonymous No.16524257]

>>16523804
How so? My fav character was def the king for me. He was so indifferent then all the sudden he's like a child just enjoying shit.

[Anonymous No.16524302]

>>16518975
Professor:
>silver spoon
>cushy student bubble life
>student loans and parents pay for fed mouth
>stays in bubble, becomes professor
>ridicules Christian students who pay their salary
>repeat until death

[Anonymous No.16524311]

>>16524302
People who never left the academic world never got off the teat.

[Anonymous No.16524340]

>>16521985
yeah seconding this

[Anonymous No.16524352]

>>16518975
you're writing is shit but i don't think it's disgusting or anything just kinda cringy

[Anonymous No.16524385]

>>16519050
Based

[Anonymous No.16524393]

>>16518975
>https://saudade.glitch.me
this cannot be real
tell me you didn't give this to a class of peers

[Anonymous No.16524402]

>>16519363
MMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE FRENCH

[Anonymous No.16524418]

>From somewhere, a trumpet sounded and a man yelled “Attention! Attention!!!” while riding a horse towards the crowd. When close, he exclaimed, “Whoa there my steed!“
>... He briskly went upon his horse, gave it a little slap on its side, and spoke into the horse’s ear, “Hyahhh! Hyahh!” and they were off.

[Anonymous No.16524502]

>>16524393
No, it was a word document. I just formatted it so I can post it here. See how I did it here: >>16520701

[Anonymous No.16524750]

Honestly OP, I liked it.

There is a prevalent cynicism throughout all the characters and the world they inhabit that I find original and refreshing. It's like later Mark Twain. This is probably why she hated it so much. That and the baby stuff. No one liked Mark Twain's cynical stuff either.

I also like you narrator's detachment, cynicism, and borderline constant humor/drama mix. I can't tell if it's supposed to be humorous or completely straightforward. It's interesting in its ambivalence.

You obviously want to write. I encourage you to do so. Keep going. You have a fresh perspective.

I will warn you, with so much cynicism, you will find it tough finding an audience. Maybe I'll be your only fan. There will come a day when the world will accept it. They liked Game of Thrones so it's possible. You are way more cynical than that, however.

[Anonymous No.16524772]

>>16518975
Nice blog post
College is a lesson in how to interact with other people
Keep your sperg in your diary

[Anonymous No.16525874]

>>16518975
Well, your writing is some sort of terrible Witcher parody, but she was utterly unprofessional. Drop her course (your mark is doomed anyway) and file a complaint. I'm an English prof, and I would never consider publicly criticizing a student's work in front of the class.

[Anonymous No.16526669]

>>16524750
>prevalent cynicism throughout all the characters
>You are way more cynical than that, however.
Yea, what I wanted to do was make most characters cynic but with brief moments of kindness/optimism. However, I just didn't have any time to do that when I wrote it. Unfortunately, this made the characters kind of superficial too. I think it was a good learning experience.

>humorous or completely straightforward
Ha, it's a mix. Those parts were basically a rough draft and I wrote down literally what I wanted to describe. The plan was to go back and rewrite it. I was sort of doing a linear storyboard as I was writing it - skipping/making parts less detailed until I felt creative enough to write it out better.

>I encourage you to do so. Keep going.
Thank you! I will. I am planning out a real story with a storyboard at the moment as a hobby. Going to take my time with it since I no longer have exams and deadlines looming over my head. Thank you a lot for your comments!

[Anonymous No.16526682]

>>16524418
kek, this is terrible. Sounds like something I'd write when I was 8

[Anonymous No.16526725]

>>16519314
Teaching philosophy and literature is not a real job

[Anonymous No.16526855]

>>16526725
why?

[Anonymous No.16526861]

>Nice blog post
>College is a lesson in how to interact with other people
>Keep your sperg in your diary

[Anonymous No.16526936]

>>16518975
I know next to nothing about professional writing and I think your professor is probably unjustified in making a fucking scene but it is kinda shitty. I felt like I was reading a book I'd find in Skyrim, just written poorly. Work harder on your craft, and learn what you can. And remember that one dude who wrote , "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones," and people hated the fuck out of it but he still made some money off it. Good luck in your endeavors OP.

[Anonymous No.16526944]

>>16518975
>it's another OP makes up a story to trick anons into reading his shit

[Anonymous No.16527479]

>>16520154
pretty retarded subject matter when your professor is pregnant, especially considering the kinds of people who teach university creative writing classes in the first place. didn't deserve to get assblasted though.

[Anonymous No.16528917]

>>16526944
He mentioned it in another thread

[Anonymous No.16528979]

>>16518975

Ah.. I was ready to condemn her, but.

You stumble already in the first paragraph. If you are going to write shakespearing or antiquity porn story, do not break the reader's illusion by writing "at that times (medieval) xx"

Besides that, I lost interest several paragraphs in and if you are not looking for 1200's porn, it becomes agonizing to read.

I forced myself to read forward and was not disappointed. Everything about your story sucks. The presentation, the setting (of which you broke the immersion in the first paragraph), the naming of the characters (Geralt? REALLY?), the cheesy main story, lack of hawkpoint, literally (ha) everything.

I can't believe how someone could be this bad at writing. I was writing better stories as essays when I was 8.

Sheesh, maybe I should try writing.

[Anonymous No.16529240]

>>16528979
>>16526936
Lol OP mentioned like 20 times that he wrote it 5+ yrs ago for his creative writing ELECTIVE class while taking engineering courses. Don't think he was trying to be an actual writer nor did he have time to write it how he wanted to (also explained here as well).

Pretty obvious no one on this thread studied engineering or know how demanding/difficult it is.

>A Pickle for the Knowing Ones
Now this is interesting. Gonna have to take a gander at it.

[Anonymous No.16529274]

>>16528979
>lack of hawkpoint
Sorry, but what's that?

[Anonymous No.16530050]

>>16529274

Focal single point of the story. Where the poor guy decides to cook his beloved hunting hawk as food for the princess to welcome her (and succeeds).

[Anonymous No.16530061]

>>16529240

Source of that "criticism" and you replied to.

Yes I'm a university engineer lol. At least I didn't have to take literature as elective, but I took "nature studies".

The professor had bad form and unprofessional, the criticism itself wasn't off. Should have took the time to give it f2f. eot?