/wg/ writing general

[Anonymous No.16505069]

We can be the family that cares about your writing

Last thread
>>16494137

Suggested books on story telling:
>The Weekend Novelist
>Aristotle's Poetics
>Hero With a Thousand Faces
>Save the Cat
>Romance the Beat

Suggested books on getting your fucking work done you lazy piece of shit:
>Deep Work
>Atomic Habits

> Other Resources
> General grammar/syntax/editing help
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/purdue_owl.html
> When/where/how should I write?
https://jamesclear.com/daily-routines-writers
> What software should I write with?
https://self-publishingschool.com/book-writing-software-best/
> Amazon Publishing to make that KDP monie
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G200635650
> Be like Charles Dickens and write serially
https://www.royalroad.com/

[Anonymous No.16505288]

Finished three short stories (first was 14 pages, second was 20 pages, third is 31 pages). All tied together in one sci-fi[/universe]. Hoping to complete another seven and package them as a collection of short stories.

[Anonymous No.16505373]

Did these generals replace the /crit/ threads? Used to frequent those, but haven't browsed /lit/ in almost a year after /crit/ devolved into nothing but amateur poetry and pseuds hounding the thread for the lowest level writing so even they can critique it and feel good about themselves while good writing remained either mysteriously uncritiqued or picked apart by narcissism of small differences.

Tell me this general is better than that.

[Anonymous No.16505514]

>>16505069
Thanks for making the thread OP. I guess I was sleeping when it died.
>be like charles dickens
lol
>>16505373
There's /crit/ that goes on in these threads, but I think the feedback is a little more tailored to processes and contextualizing the industry. If someone just barges in and posts a 500 page novel in watpad and doesn't do shit, no one is going to give them feedback. /crit/ threads die pretty quickly due to the rampant narcissism of the writers, mixed with the fact that no one on 4chan can give adequate critique seeing as half the board refuses to admit that literary criticism exists and the other half refused to pay attention in class and subsequently didn't learn the proper tools from people who's job it was to crit. Now I'm rambling.

[Anonymous No.16505523]

>>16505373
I don't know about the /crit/ threads, but they occasionally come over here to ree about why their thread isn't as popular as this one

[Anonymous No.16505790]

I noticed floating specks outside my window. They glowed purple, the traditional color of Black African royalty. The specks whirled together with the moonlight and slowly took shape. Two of Blackula’s Afro-haired brides floated into my room.

“Hey, sugar,” said one of the Black women. “We’ve missed you so much.”

“Let’s rest on this here bed,” said the other Black woman. “All of us, together.”

I felt unnaturally sleepy and weak.

The two women carried me to the bed. One of the women sat by the pillow and the other straddled my thighs.

I managed to gasp out, “Get away from me, vile temptress.”

“We good, Jamarcus. We good,” said the woman who was sitting by my head.

“You know what? I feel you. I feel you,” said the Afro-haired woman who was sitting on my thighs. “I need you to pump your brakes. You know what I’m saying?”

“She’s saying you need to relax,” translated her friend.

The woman unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down slightly. Her breath felt warm on my lower regions. Slowly, she licked, and slowly, she pulled down my underwear. She smiled at me and bared her sharp teeth. She lowered her head and I felt a slight pain in my thigh. I felt a great shame, as I also wanted this to continue.
Suddenly we heard another female voice from outside.

“Something’s wrong with dat coffin lid. It’s super glued together.”

[Anonymous No.16505792]

>>16505373
>/crit/ devolved into nothing but amateur poetry and pseuds
No wonder these threads suddenly became nothing but amateur poetry and pseuds

[Anonymous No.16505797]

>>16505790
Both women became stiff and nervous. The Afro-haired woman quickly buttoned up my pants and got off the bed.

She said very loudly, “Uh, so like I was saying, Mr. Harker, where’d you get those nails did? They on fleek.”

Another one of Blackula’s bride floated in. This was the one with the weave.

“What is you two doing in here? The last time I checked, ya’ll asses supposed to be sitting in the tower. Which means, ya asses supposed to be sitting in your coffin, til we supposed to be eatin.”

Blood leaked through my pants and onto the bed.

“Ah, hell no! Was happened to him?” she exclaimed.

“We just here to check up on Mr. Harker, make sure he’s doin aiight,” said the other Afro-haired woman. “We ain’t trying to front nobody.”

“Ah no no no no. His femoral artery bleeding out,” said the weave-haired woman. “Ya’ll need to be ashamed of yourselves.”

She grabbed her two companions by the backs of their dresses and shoved them out the window.

“Get out there and fix my damn coffin.”

“Sorry,” said an Afro-haired woman.

“And get this man some gauze and a tourniquet,” said the weave-haired bride. “Do I gotta every single thing myself?
She turned toward me.

“Don’t you worry, Mr. Harker. I’s be making sure no one eats you until we’s supposed to.”

[Anonymous No.16505798]

Anyone looking for critiques reply to this post and I'll take a look.

[Anonymous No.16506202]

>>16505288
Publishing on Amazon or real publisher?

[Anonymous No.16506539]

>>16505798
Alright, I'll bite
https://pastebin.com/NpyNtqiq
It's ~1000 words long. It's my first foray into Sci-fi. Might expand the idea if it starts sitting right with me.

[Anonymous No.16506589]

>>16505373
>after /crit/ devolved into nothing but amateur poetry and pseuds
It sounds like we kind of absorbed them since that's generally half the posters here. The other half is vocal schizos who get mad at everything, and are allergic to anything that isn't traditional pub, like serial writing. And then you have your typical FAQ posts like how to be good at x The ones that complain about everything are the worst though. I just wanted any to grill for God's sake.

[Anonymous No.16506766]

https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/office/get-your-document-s-readability-and-level-statistics-85b4969e-e80a-4777-8dd3-f7fc3c8b3fd2

Post yours.

[Anonymous No.16506871]

Holy fuck, I'm in a 400 level creative writing class and 99% of the critiques are "this is so relatable" and "wow this is so refreshing" and people picking out grammar mistakes to fill their quota. And this is a Uni with a 17% acceptance rate, where all of the CW professors are published authors. The creative writing major is a fucking meme. Don't waste your money like I did.

[Anonymous No.16507023]

>>16506871
>waow this is so relatable!!
I thought about majoring in creative writing, but I realized I could just read the same books and learn it on my own. There are even online courses and workshops you can take from published authors

[Anonymous No.16507028]

>>16506871
Isn't the point of those to make publishing connections and write?
I suspect good critique is harder to come by in CW circles, where egos run rampant the people you critique will be your colleagues and pairs in the publishing world. There's gonna be more 'omg so relatable' and less 'you can barely build a scene, you faggot, here's where you failed and here's how you do it right'.

[Anonymous No.16507044]

Got just under 3000 words done last night before I fell asleep. Now it's time to edit all of it

[Anonymous No.16507101]

Anyone successful here? How many hours do you write per week? Do you read more than you write?

[Anonymous No.16507155]

>>16507101
>Anyone successful here?
As if anyone on 4chan has the work ethic to make it in the industry. The only way to actually make money is to write "Generic Genre Fiction." Vol 16 and sucker people into reading the whole series at $1 or $2 dollars per book so by the time they get to Vol 55 they forget how much money they've spent and feel invested enough to keep throwing money at you. It's not about quality, it's about the bare minimum quality you can maintain while shitting out unfathomable amounts of words.

You'd be better off asking how many of us have actually gotten paid for anything we've written, in which case I've gotten a cool $30 dollars from some anons in /trash/, and I'm willing to bet that that's farther than most people here have gotten. I write maybe two hours a day, give or take, and would read more if I could muster the effort.

[Anonymous No.16507184]

>>16507028
The connections only exist if you're good enough to be published, or if the professor's (who are published authors) see enough potential in you to stop what they're doing. Most of my/your peers aren't going anywhere, and if they are, it'll take 10+ more years, to which you won't be in contact with them. The class is basically to give you the time/space to write, unfortunately, the class is 90% critiques.

All of the critiques are either what I listed above, or asking for major expansions in backstory/expanding a background character, basically, everything but building what currently exists. I've never seen a critique where anyone tries to explain how to strengthen a scene, or how to help build a character, it's always low effort shit you could say about any novel ever published.

[Anonymous No.16507218]

>>16507184
If you post something I can probably give you better quality advice

[Anonymous No.16507275]

>>16506539
Cool, I finished going through short stories about thirty minutes ago. I'll do this one the next time I do a round.

[Anonymous No.16507373]

how real is burnout? or is it just me? I wrote a 70,000 word novel in 40 days, and now I find it difficult to write fiction, let alone be at all creative.

[Anonymous No.16507397]

>>16507373
I burnout after 500 words and wait 3 weeks to recharge, citing to myself that "it's just a hobby" then feeling like shit later.

[Anonymous No.16507428]

>>16507373
>I wrote a 70,000 word novel in 40 days
h-how?

[Anonymous No.16507435]

>>16507373
I think burnout after completing something is total normal. Take a few days to space out, but try just doing something. Feeling the empty space left by creation can only really be filled by doing it again. Chasing the dragon so to speak. I know you don’t feel like doing anything, but just like the gym, the most important workout is the one you don’t want to do.

[Anonymous No.16507446]

>>16507428
I wrote 3000 words a day (had no other responsibilities) and did an editing pass at the end of every night. I went to 90,000 words, and then spent the rest of the time cutting it down to 70,000. now I'm severely "burnout" I don't feel like I could write a short story if I had a gun to my head

[Anonymous No.16507450]

>>16507428
That’s 1750 words a day. 25 minutes at a typing speed of 70 wpm. If you have things planned out and you know exactly what’s going to happen that’s maybe an hour of work a day with maybe a week of planning before hand. We are only as good as the systems we set up.

[Anonymous No.16507482]

>>16507428
I saw a thread on Royal Road the other day with a guy talking about how he has written over 1 million words since quarantine started. Some people are just very good at shitting out a ton of words. 70k words in 40 days seems pretty tame in comparison. There are days where I definitely write at that pace, but it's balanced out by days where I'm unable to write anything at all

[Anonymous No.16507498]

>>16507428
just stop overthinking your draft, one of the biggest mistakes I've seen in amateur writers is that they obsess over the individual piece instead of the greater whole

[Anonymous No.16507757]

>>16507498
Yeah, I guess I do that a lot, I cannot go over 300/400 words a day because I keep trying to get something absolutely perfect in my mind (which it isn't anyway)

[Anonymous No.16508113]

>>16505069
How do I write a novella? I've written fanfics before, but those longer than 40,000 words peter out. I've tried writing short stories, but I think something in the range of 10,000 - 30,000 words is my sweet spot.

[Anonymous No.16508174]

>>16508113
Write a short story. Write another, then think about how you'd expand the scope. Write a short story with an expanded scope. A novella is a short story with an expanded scope.

[Anonymous No.16508180]

>>16508113
What kind of question is that? The same as any other story, you write. Choose a starting point and an ending point, then estimate how many words it will take to get from the start to the end. If you don't think it's long enough, add more bullshit in the middle. It's really not that complicated.

[Anonymous No.16508274]

How do I get over the feeling that I'm writing on a middleschooler level? I've had an idea I've been passionate about writing for a long time, but now that I'm finally putting pen to paper and looking at my writing I feel like my writing is just embarrassing and I keep deleting much of it instead of progressing.

[Anonymous No.16508331]

>>16507757
If you can write 300 words a day consistently that's not a problem. You could write a novel a year, which is a more than acceptable pace for a professional author.

[Anonymous No.16508346]

>>16508274
If you know your writing is bad you are better than many writes who think they are already perfect. Continue practicing, reading regularly, and read some books on craft and grammar. If you put in the effort eventually you can become a competent writer. If you give up you never will.

[Anonymous No.16508442]

>>16508274
Middle school as in your range of lexicon? Readers are drooling retards 80% of the time. Don't sweat it.

[Anonymous No.16508746]

>>16508274
The answer is always you need to write more and you need to read more, probably what you're experiencing is the disconnect from your free thoughts and your ability to express them. You have trouble converting your thoughts into something physical, which is again, solved by writing more. If you just started recently, just accept that whatever you're going to write is going to be shit.

Your main problem is that your mental block is probably preventing you from getting as much experience as you should because you're second guessing yourself, turning your head over every sentence thinking, "What's the best way to describe this character's expression? What's the best way to describe this scenery? Are there better words for this?" and slowing down your ability to actually progress. Chances are you're in the category of /asocial cerebral desperate to express themselves./ You were probably voted "Most Likely to Stare Wistfully out of Windows While in Class" and might jokingly remark at how boring real life is. You were probably more intelligent than your peers and frequently use your spare brain power to get lost in increasingly complicated internal fantasies. Wishing to bring those ideas to reality, you felt an urge to pick up a creative hobby. You may have dabbled with drawing, 3DCG, or even programming, and eventually settled on writing because it was the quickest and most efficient line to striking your ideas to reality and it did not trigger your self-punitive reflex as readily as drawing might have. I'm about 90% certain that all of these apply to you and all I'm really trying to say is that the problem you're facing isn't just a "you" thing and there are lots of people you understand it, and getting past it is a matter of effort and interest.

If you want to post something you've written, I'd happily critique it, but I'd also understand if your creative anxiety prevents you from doing so. However, I'd advise trying to get over it.

[Anonymous No.16508792]

>>16508274
I've been told that I write on an elementary school level. People will pat you on the head and congratulate you anyway, like people overly praise Downies for working a wagie job at McDonald's

[Anonymous No.16508864]

>>16508746
Christ, you're pretty damn accurate. I actually do draw as well and I'm not nearly as critical about my drawings as I am about my writing. I'm not so shallow that "life is so boring" is a part of my personality though, thankfully.

Here's what I've gotten so far, it's trying to build a setting for a culture with heavy ancestor worship, the book is going to have a lot of themes about death, legacy, and the main character coping with knowing he'll die and be forgotten, and the lives of his ancestors will, to him, have been in vain.
https://pastebin.com/RPPQrvS3

[Anonymous No.16508946]

Sure, I'll contribute something.
Enjoy, or whatever else. It's only 358+/- words.

[Anonymous No.16509018]

>>16508946
I took a screenshot of the one that I didn't proofread at all.

[Anonymous No.16509122]

>>16505790
"Let's rest on this here bed"
not very sexy

[Anonymous No.16509228]

>>16506871
Honestly, finding good critique is nearly impossible. Most people only critique a work for their own ego and don't care at all about making it better. You can see it on /lit/, any critique thread is just people autisticly obsessing over minor word choices and sentence structure so they can feel better about themselves. Meanwhile, the people in your CW program are only there for themselves and don't give a shit about improving other people's work, the 'this is so relatable' stuff is just because they do the absolute bare minimum of work when the program forces them to try and help other writers. Someone who will actually go through your writing for its own sake is worth his weight in gold, and if you can ever find that sort of help do everything you can to keep him around.

[Anonymous No.16509286]

>>16508864
Sorry for the wait. It wasn't much to work with, but I think I've managed to divine several key issues.
https://pastebin.com/yQSSyGjQ

[Anonymous No.16509354]

>>16509286
This is really helpful, thank you. I could go on about what this metaphor means and what that metaphor means, I know in my head exactly what I'm trying to say with all of the flowery writing, but if it doesn't make sense to the reader then it's pointless. I'm going to step back from it and start from scratch, and I'll use plainer english. This has been very enlightening!

[Anonymous No.16509445]

Brooke squirmed under Yvie's parachute-esque foreskin. 'Wet me out!' she squealed, 'I need to pwactice my wip-sync'.

'No-wo,' purred Yvie honestly, being real, and shut Brooke up with a dollop of precum that engorged the enclosed epidermis of her erection. 'This crown is mine!' she exclaimed, bending over backwards to grab her quirky headpiece.

Silky and A'keria were being busted and ratchet in the corner.

[Anonymous No.16509464]

>>16509354
You're welcome. You're around where I was when I first started. It's what I would've wanted to hear when I was at your level.

Writing poses a unique challenge, because you are, in a sense, writing with other people's brains. You understand every metaphor and you understand every underlying theme. You already know every twist and turn in the story before it happens and you cannot truly connect with the characters because they are only extensions of yourself. It's something you'll struggle with, and why so many famous critics have failed miserably in their attempts to break into the medium they should understand so well. All I can really say is write more and write often.

[Anonymous No.16509527]

>>16509122
How about this?

> Ah lawd have mercy, I am ready to bone. Boy, I dare you to take off my panties, cuz you finna see steam come out like a boiling kettle

[Anonymous No.16509531]

>>16509286
Strangely entertaining read

[Anonymous No.16509532]

can I get a critique on just this short passage?

currently typing up some critiques for some of the other posters in this thread to contribute

[Anonymous No.16509539]

>>16509527
amen I cum

[Anonymous No.16509562]

>>16505790
>Jamarcus
lol

[Anonymous No.16509572]

how do i stop writing like an asshole?
i'm not really looking to improve my writing in general, but i would specifically like to come across like less of a cunt.

[Anonymous No.16509587]

>>16509572
Stop being so sarcastic you dopey cunt

[Anonymous No.16509628]

>>16509532
Maybe split up or cut down some of your sentences. It feels like you keep going back and adding more, which makes it feel somewhat unnatural. The 1st sentence, 3rd of the last paragraph and the description of his death could perhaps be shortened. A long sentence detailing his slow gruesome death wouldn't be bad but it lacks impact and feels a bit flat as is.
Then again I am no writer and barely a reader so disregard everything I wrote.

[Anonymous No.16509681]

>>16509572
Don't try too hard. People can easily tell when you're writing to look smart instead of genuinely enjoying it. I'd rather read something simple written in the style of a third grader than some thesaurus riddled behemoth that the author didn't actually enjoy writing

[Anonymous No.16509705]

>>16509681
Different anon, but my problem is that I naturally write like an asshole from 1920. When write simpler I am told that I am far too perfunctory and laconic. However, when I incorporate more structure and diction, I become pretentious somehow.

[Anonymous No.16509802]

Lawyer anon hasn't posted a new chapter in days. I need my burgerpunk fix

[Anonymous No.16509815]

Here's a sample from the project that gives me anxiety every time I open it. It's far more real, down to earth, and honest than everything else I write. I thought this part would be funny to share with the whole "write what you know" being posted all the time. Crit welcome I suppose.

I take the bar exam tomorrow, so hopefully in a few days I can stare at this word document for eight hours and heighten by blood pressure.

[Anonymous No.16509831]

>>16509802
Ha. After this test anon. I'll do my best to crush it so I can keep shitposting.

[Anonymous No.16509873]

>>16509831
Good luck on your test tomorrow, anon. I'm sure you'll do well and pass it

[Anonymous No.16509999]

>>16509815
Good luck on your bar exam. You can do it!

[Anonymous No.16510217]

>>16509445
sigh

[Anonymous No.16510224]

God damn, writing a book-especially the kind of book I am writing-is such a massive undertaking. Someone should be paying me thousands of dollars for this. The fact that I am doing it out of passion alone proves I am a superior grade of being. (Not to brag too much.)

[Anonymous No.16510227]

>>16510217
whats wrong anon talk to me

[Anonymous No.16510263]

>>16510227
tranny hentai fanfiction writers deserve the rope

[Anonymous No.16510420]

What's the psychology behind the miscegenation thematic ideas?

[Anonymous No.16510452]

>>16510420
He's charging $3 for an 18 page story? What a rip off

https://www.amazon.com/Impregnation-German-Female-Paul-Wit-ebook/dp/B081XZK6NJ

Biography
I am a White man who write erotic stories about my main fantasy which is interracial sex, above all when it involves White females with Black males.
I like the skin contrast, dark skin on pale skin, it is very arousing and I wanted to share it with you through my writings.

Interracial porn is rising because our societes are more and more multicultural. It's quite the first time in human history that so many people from different origins mix together. No more taboo, no more ban, only lust and pleasure!
Race play is a very arousing form of BDSM for me. Of course, all my stories always involve consenting adults.

I also like other kinks. For example young adults stories or interracial involving a Black or an Asian woman.
So a lot to write!

About me, I am in my thirties and live in Europe.

If you want to contact me, send an email at paulwit[@]gmx.com.

Happy reading ;)

[Anonymous No.16510698]

>>16509532
Study the flow of action and break your sentences up accordingly. The first and last paragraphs are the most confusing ones.
The soldier walked through riflesmoke to the man on his back, period, their eyes met.
Break up the final paragraph and give me more to work with in my mind. The soldier blinked. What caused him to? The soldier pointed at the man's head and then aimed at the neck, and fired sure, but it would flow better if between the pointing, the lowering, and the shooting I could see the man's reaction.
Soldier points, Man smiles.
Soldier lowers, Man's eyes widen as he understands.
Soldier fires, Man suffers terrible death.
I would cut some of the description too. The color didn't drain from his face through the blood. Maybe through the neck. And you don't have to point out where all the blood is coming from. I just saw the man being shot, I know how blood works, we're good. I'd also rearrange the last bit. Into a shallow pool like a halo is too much. Pooled in a halo around his head, perhaps.

[Anonymous No.16510920]

Thanks to all /crit/ anons
I'm not very skilled at critique and, by extension, probably writing
It's comforting to read an anons excerpt, find some flaws then read a /crit/ anons take and connect the dots of what I missed. Here's hoping it helps my identify what's wrong with my own writing and think more critically when I read

[Anonymous No.16511310]

>>16509532
I don't think it is technically a jump in POV, though it might be, but it does stand out to have the reader 'over the shoulder' of the soldier and then acknowledge an internal feeling that the dying man is "smiling through the pain." This is something anyone could infer, having been shot, but cutting the sentence at, "He smiled at the soldier," makes for a stronger structure, I think.

Also in that first paragraph you have "lying in the dirt," followed by, "lying on his back," and I think you could either cut one or merge them together. Keep in mind that a lot gets cut during revision. I recently sawed 3 pages into 2 paragraphs. Something like, "The soldier crept through the gunsmoke to the man lying on his back. He was holding his guts." I changed dust and riflesmoke to one word to save on word economy. I don't know the scene so if confidence after a firefight is what you are looking for 'walked' is fine, but I chose crept assuming the fallen man might be armed and allowing for some narrative tension (i.e. the reader doesn't know if he has a gun or not yet).

You can cut the rhetorical "isn't it" from the dialogue if you want. It will make his last words more urgent if he says less.

Something that struck me in the next paragraph is that the soldier unholsters his revolver. If he has another gun, and it's out what does he do with that? If not, why has he holstered his gun and walked towards an enemy combatant? Also, the chamber spinning doesn't do any narrative lifting and can be cut. Makes the read that much faster.

"Well this is a twist of fate."
The soldier (lowered his rifle/ unholstered his revolver)
"Shoot me in the head."
He lowered his barrel to the neck and fired.

'Spurt of red sprayed out' can be cut to something more curt. Generally I take action in writing like comic panels or animation. Show a satisfactory wind-up and some messy after effects and the spectators cheer. Dragging it on, to me, smacks a little of campfire horror stories. I don't mean to offend you btw. I just want to let you know. Maybe something like, "He lowered it to the neck and fired. The man gripped his throat and tightened, his breath whistling through the hole. When he stilled his mouth was agape. The blood formed a dark halo in the dirt." Some of the reasons for cuts include, everyone knows halos go on heads, the verbs used imply he died a noisy (gunshot) death, we know where the blood poured from (his wound). Don't feel bad about this kind of stuff though, this is the purpose of revision and it shouldn't stop you from laying track, just make sure to double check before you start the trains. Again, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, most of it is just the way I type and I'm trying to limit words for the message count.

Btw, show don't tell. Uniforms, revolver type, surrounding flora, man's face, soldiers face, other bodies, location.

Keep up the good work anon. Thank you for contributing to the thread. I'm out of space now.

[Anonymous No.16511387]

>>16509815
I may cut stuff or use abbreviations to fit the word count, but thank you for the thread contribution anon.

You can chip a bit off the first repeat sentence to add variation and speed things along. "Jon started it off. Jon always started. 'You know what really pisses me off?'" (No reason for you to have him name Rob if Rob is about to be named anyway.
"Rob looked amused. He liked a mad Jon." Just to cut repetition, I see that it's what you are shooting for, but it feels like padding here. Like a boxer jumping to get his rhythm before throwing a punch. Also if Jon is going to ignore him, then what he says doesn't matter and you can skip to Jon walking into his diatribe. Remember that dialogue is a verbal fight between characters trying to get something from each other. Jon wants Robs attention, because he has something to say and wants to vent. Rob seems to want nothing here. He is along for the ride. A way to sate the dialogue's need for conflict is to have Rob annoy him. He LIKES to see Jon mad. Instead of voicing his honest opinion, let him push Jon.

I think you could play around with editing the dialogue tags and narration like 'Jon ignored him' and 'Rob looked amused' 'Rob decided not to reply to...' The dialogue will speak for itself (get it) so you can allow the characters to have some more room.

Also, I don't want to make assumptions, but I get the feeling that you are a discovery writer (correct me if I'm wrong) and that you built this conversation as you went. That's fine, but during revision you can sharpen the argument to something more pointed and coherent. Why do I think and say this? The diatribe seems to arrive at the buried claim that "people are just proud of what they are..." Instead of leading off with it. Play with that and write out the argument again from that as the start and see what you find. The writers write writers becomes an inverted echo of the first point if you don't.

Another note about dialogue. I suggest that you heavily cut back on filler words. Yes, they are realistic, but people don't read court hearings to hear a judge stutter about evidence block three, they go straight to guilty or not. Example, "Well, sure, I guess, but I just think it's a trope we need to put to rest." Can become, "The trope needs to be put to rest." It will clear the air and the page to do this.

Also, on the tone of the piece, why have the characters talk about this? I understand this may be part of a series of dialogues between these characters, but ask what this back and forth accomplishes for either character. If the answer is nothing maybe remove it. It could be important if either character is a screen writer for a television show and they want to voice their frustration with their career path, for example. On that note, just giving the reader more to go on for who these characters are and what they do will place this excerpt (i get this is part of something bigger though).

[Anonymous No.16511584]

>>16506539
Hey, that's cool. Your dialogue is very good and believable, but I can't understand why you choose to have your characters talk like /this/ at some points; not that it tarnish the dialogue in any way. Pastebin shenanigans I suppose?
Also
>He lit his cigarette and puffed until it was nice and lit. Then, finally, gave it a good long drag. He sucked the sweet smoke down. It was relaxing, clarifying. It wrapped his lungs in warmth and soothed the headache he didn't know he had. He let out a contented breath, and with the smoke, blew out all his tension and fatigue.
Very kino.
It is, overall, a relatively nice scene. Congratulations on it. The only part of it that feels wrong is, at times, the punctuation, as in:
>Denny wanted to say something, but he knew by now that expecting Doctor Connor to understand it; it would be like expecting a blind man to understand sign language.
That ";" feels wrong, at least to me, might be wrong tho

[Anonymous No.16511603]

Should it be "depend to no one about your happiness" or "depend to no one for your happiness" ?

[Anonymous No.16511623]

>>16506539
Hello anon, thank you for contributing a short story to the thread.I am going to pretend this is a short story/micro fiction and not an excerpt.

First thing I'd like to say is generally it's nice, but feels lacking, almost empty. The reason being is that nothing concludes or resolves. No one does or doesn't definitively come to save the crew. The protag doesn't die or succeed, or even leave off on a high "Literary" note (for example Joyce's The Dead). The 'Doctor' gets his ciggys is the entire movement of this narrative. Consequently the protag feels empty as well due to his lack of characterization outside of the way he feels about Doc.

Another thing that is important. You break a critical rule of writing, I think without noticing. You settle into a limited third past POV of Denny and then jump into Doc on the paragraph "Doctor Connor slipped a hand-rolled cigarette..." Previously it is Denny's voice and thoughts the reader is hearing. Denny doesn't like ciggys, but now the smoke is "sweet...relaxing, clarifying". Connor, "blew out all his tension and fatigue" These are things Denny boy can't know, things inside Doc's head. You've got to cut it. It isn't impossible to transition POV. Game of Thrones does it, for example, but he does it chapter by chapter. Jumping between POVs in short stories with no breaks is a massive break. More importantly this doesn't give the reader any vital information, therefore, there is no reason to do so.

A small complaint that is less important but jarring still. Doc blows out his ciggys like mad. Smokes a ciggy a sentence, literally. He's not eating them, they are something he wants to savor, a reward he has earned for an off-screen job and his on-screen searching. Let him take his time if he wants them so bad,

Another thing, sometimes less is more. "Denny said wryly. He wasn't usually one for sardonic remarks, but around Doc..." Typical revision advice is cut like mad. "Denny said. Connor had a way of pulling people into his pace." Even this you can cut and leave it all hanging at "Denny said." Why? sardonic remarks is narrative imposition, the reader will decide if that was cutting, clever, sardonic, or stupid. Generally they don't want to be told. Almost impossible is flimsy, use strong or concrete words and phrases. It was or was not, there is no in-between.

Final few things. I could see the 'not a real doctor, doctor' coming, and that joke is played out. It also doesn't work in this context as the title doctor hasn't implied that he was a medical professional in the story. The only residual tension of that thread came from him being a doctor chasing ciggys. Second, it was good of you to only include 2-3 characters. This is pretty much max for short stories and you could cut Melinda to make things better. Denny hid the smokes. Now there is conflict. Denny wants Doc to stay alive and healthy as long as possible because he feels he is a crucial part of getting home.

Good job anon, keep writing.

[Anonymous No.16511944]

>>16509705
Go learn something you know nothing about. The lack of confidence you gain when you can't do something an expert would have no trouble with will bring you back down to Earth. Remember that humility and carry it with you through life.

[Anonymous No.16511968]

When I have Jamarcus Harker escape from Blackula's castle, I'll have him say this:

> Free at last! Free at last!
> Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!

That's a quote by Martin Luther King Jr, a famous black man

[Anonymous No.16512441]

How do you write this in an active voice?
"His eyes were alight with triumph"

[Anonymous No.16512480]

I just downloaded a program to analyze repeated phrases and a bunch of other stuff in my writing and placed every single finished novel I have into the project. It's over a million words, so about ten minutes have passed already and it's not even halfway through. Will post results if/when it finishes.

[Anonymous No.16512494]

>>16512441
Triumph sparkled in his eyes.

[Anonymous No.16512621]

>>16511584
>>16506539
>He lit his cigarette and puffed until it was nice and lit. Then, finally, gave it a good long drag. He sucked the sweet smoke down. It was relaxing, clarifying. It wrapped his lungs in warmth and soothed the headache he didn't know he had. He let out a contented breath, and with the smoke, blew out all his tension and fatigue.
Personally I thought this sounded like it was written by someone who has never smoked. "nice and lit" rubs me the wrong way, smoke's never sweet, or clarifying, or warm/wrapping really. Never had a headache soothed by a cig and never had a headache that I didn't realise I had. If you don't know your head hurts then surely it doesn't hurt.

[Anonymous No.16512761]

New movie coming out: Ronald Dahl's the Witches, except the main character is black

https://youtu.be/clk2ClBOGTM

[Anonymous No.16512882]

>>16512761
>remake of a famous existing movie
>I know the movie isn't but the book is extremely well known
>nice little white character replaced with a nigger
>likely bombs in the box office
Its Annie all over again. Fucking hollywood jews.

[Anonymous No.16513002]

>>16512621
Nice and lit is terrible. Cigs are either lit or unlit. But I lik the headache bit. It clearly shows the protag as a nicotine addict without telling it outright, and that's good writing.

[Anonymous No.16513011]

>>16512761
>>16512882
Make your own thread, shill. Preferably on /tv/

[Anonymous No.16513070]

>>16513011
Too bad you don't want to jump on the trend. Oh well. More money for me and Blackula

[Anonymous No.16513102]

Sad the literary world doesn't try to join Twitch. Who doesn't want to watch someone sitting at a writing desk for hours, whilst they drink caffeinated beverages and type out their novel or poetry, painstakingly slow? Maybe we could also live stream someone lying in bed reading a book in one sitting.

[Anonymous No.16513134]

Give me plot twists to steal.

[Anonymous No.16513224]

I've got some book ideas:

> Ugly Black Duckling: can also add a subplot about the white swans being mean to the black swans
> Black Ice: Snow White, but black
> Gift of the Black Magi: have to think of black gifts

I've also learned of something called a "blerd" or a black nerd. Like Sheldon Cooper, but black. I bet there's a market for black people stories about them being very smart and solving science problems. Rewrite famous scientist biographies but make them black? Black Galileo, Black Faraday?

[Anonymous No.16513246]

>>16513102
Around 2016 I would stream my daily writing/editing session. There was a small community of about 12 of us that would visit each others streams and support one another, it was really cozy. Then this self-published LitRPG faggot showed up and he was getting just under 1k viewers out of nowhere and people would come and shit up our chats so most of us stopped streaming, though I know a few are still at it. None of them consistently get above 20 viewers, but I think that's probably for the best. Having a small viewership that actually pays attention and frequently asks thoughtful questions is preferable to making a bit of money with chats being horrid.

[Anonymous No.16513261]

>>16512882
Obviously it's degenerate, but black people for whatever reason like it, and they consoom this type of media. Why not make it? It takes little intellectual or creative effort, as it's basically a 1:1 copy of a previous work. The biggest hurdle is researching black media to imitate their speech patterns and common cultural tropes

[Anonymous No.16513296]

>>16513261
Jesus dude, could you stop shitting up the thread already?

[Anonymous No.16513362]

>>16513296
Some people just don't appreciate black literature

[Anonymous No.16513625]

>>16505069

How do you guys deal with the effect of knowing no one will probably publish what you wrote on your motivation to write? I have a writing project that I've been dragging out for a while now, but there's not much of a reason for me to hurry up and finish it since nothing will likely happen afterwards.

[Anonymous No.16513635]

>>16513246
Nice. Do you mind telling me of any? I just did my first stream for about 30 minutes but didn't tell anyone about it so there was no one watching sadly. Wrote 550ish words though.

[Anonymous No.16513673]

>>16513625
>being this hung up on being traditionally published
anon there's this thing called the internet which can allow you to get your work out to people for no or practically no cost at all. stop being a self sabotaging faggot

[Anonymous No.16513710]

>>16511968
>That's a quote by Martin Luther King Jr, a famous black man
make sure he says this as well

[Anonymous No.16513722]

>>16512441
Triumph lit his eyes

[Anonymous No.16513739]

>>16513625
I'm just going to try reading my stories on youtube

[Anonymous No.16513818]

>>16513635
I wouldn't want to link them to this place in any way. If you check the writing category on twitch, there are only a few who stream every day or two and they're among them. You should definitely check all of them out and make friends. They'll support you back. Good luck with streaming, it can be fun and way less lonely

[Anonymous No.16513824]

How do I greatly reduce my expectations for how well my web novel will do?

[Anonymous No.16513889]

>>16513824
link it in /sffg/ (but only one time) to get a handful of followers and a review or two
that's what i did and it worked out pretty well, but mine is basically an anime about a psycho loli so it's an easy sell around these parts

[Anonymous No.16513940]

>>16513102
Because everything is morphing into this type of "creator as entertainer" framework where you have to market and promote your own work, that's not necessarily a stupid idea.
Writers these days no longer have the luxury of being an reclusive, mysterious disembodied presence that just makes the words. You need to be a personality in order to game social media platforms and increase your noticeability.
This sort of "pornographication" of writing careers is unfortunate but this is the way of the world now.

[Anonymous No.16514020]

>>16513889
Your Japanese honorofics are still cringe

[Anonymous No.16514177]

>>16514020
lol i'm not that much of a weeb, it's not in japan and there are no references to japanese stuff, the story is just young adult anime tier

[Anonymous No.16514241]

It feels like I'm regressing in my ability to write. When I look back at stories I wrote 3 years ago, I'm shocked how imaginative and unique it is, how alive it feels. Today, my stories seem mechanical, too technical, they feel soulless. Whatever I had back then, is gone now. It might not mean much, but my stories used to get into my town's newspaper and my school/ and then CC news paper, routinely, twice a year for both. Now, I have nothing. I saw myself on a progression path to be published in 10 years time, I thought that was realistic. Now I feel like I forgot how to write all-together. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just feel like my mind is only able to be mechanical. The only change is that I went to a University for literature, and now I can't get out of this fucking headspace.

[Anonymous No.16514257]

>>16514241
Huh?

[Anonymous No.16514274]

>>16514241
Read up on the concept of wuwei. You're probably keeping too many rules in your head every time you sit down to write. Instead of writing effortlessly, you're trying to make everything perfect and putting your words through too many filters. Keeping the rules and conventions of fiction in mind is fine, and necessary to write well, but sometimes you have to tell them to fuck off so you can write what you want to

[Anonymous No.16514278]

>>16513818
>browse "writing" on twtich
>furries writing fantasy shit
>fat woman writing fantasy shit
>bunch of foreign language people that might be good but I'm a monoglot
Eh.... It would be good if you at least gave me a hint at what to look for.

[Anonymous No.16514289]

>>16514278
I'm just sitting here shocked that there are people out there who actually stream writing. That concept seems so bizarre to me

[Anonymous No.16514299]

>>16505069
This cat speaks to me.

[Anonymous No.16514333]

>>16514289
Have a look. I found one cool guy, and he sent me a discord of twitch writers.

[Anonymous No.16514351]

Is this a bad critique? I got marked down by my Professor for it.

Your first paragraph is good. It sets the mood, genre, character, and overall themes from the first 100 something words without dragging the reader. The next couple of paragraphs could be trimmed down so that we get to the murder of the old man a bit sooner. Or instead use that space to give us the sense of Jan's earlier signs of violence. As a reader, I find it hard to believe that somebody who cheerfully murders a man in the woods hasn't exhibited signs of violence previous this. Show us a squirrel decapitation, killing ants with a magnifying glass, being a school bully, or something along those lines to give us a bit of build-up and creepiness. Frankly cleaning a bathtub and just owning a knife isn't all that foreboding. The ending is odd to say the least. The bit with the other boys who happen upon George who's just killed a dude is a little odd. Also the boys act a little too nonchalant over George's clear guilt in the murder of the old man. They introduce themselves and think they're goanna punk a dude covered in blood standing by what is clearly a mangled corpse. If you are going for a group of teenage murder friends you need to build it up a bit better. Check out the Dan Well's "I Am Not A Serial Killer" for the psychological angle you'd want your character to take on this sort of thing. The ending is confusing.

[Anonymous No.16514364]

Just made three thousand pounds writing a thirty thousand word fetish literature commission. Feels pretty good.
Anyone else got any experience doing writing commissions?

[Anonymous No.16514373]

>>16514351
Why don't you ask your professor?

[Anonymous No.16514377]

>>16514373
because he hates me

[Anonymous No.16514407]

>>16514241
I can sort of relate. My writing today is still good, but when I reread writing years ago when I was still a twink, I'm struck by how emotionally vital, and "living" it is. Technically it may not be as refined, but you can tell the person writing it still had a taste for life and felt alive to the world.
But maybe this is some kind of psychological self-deception and nothing has really changed.

[Anonymous No.16514435]

Attempting to write to market, seeing if I can churn out genre fiction for self-publishing. I think I've read enough to play with the tropes while also hitting the right beats and pace. I used to be quite prolific on wattpad as a teen, so I have a sense of how to string an audience, I just hope what I'm writing is interesting.

https://pastebin.com/VDPcbf10

[Anonymous No.16514524]

>>16514435
As long as you're not trying to write for a reader in your head. Remember not to think that you have to do fan service and nothing else, that makes hacky writing.

[Anonymous No.16514549]

>>16514435
>>16514524
It's also a pretty bad mindset to think that you can just procedurally shit out a Dean Kuntz novel and make a killing off it, just because you "stooped to their level" - despite what common sentiment is on /lit/, if it was that easy to write a Sanderson adjacent novel, everyone would do it.

[Anonymous No.16514552]

>>16514364
How do you get into commissions? Where do you advertise and why would anyone pick you?

[Anonymous No.16514595]

>>16512480
Well that took long enough.
1,658,931 words, 6223 paperback pages.

Most commonly used words:
>3308 just
>2842 been
>2780 like
>2736 could
>2572 down

Most commonly used phrases:
>615 one of the
>435 out of the
>315 in front of
>264 there was a
>250 it was a

Most commonly used adverbs:
>2193 only (oof)
>772 really
>517 finally
>471 probably
>457 forward (didn't know that was an adverb)

Most common sentence starters:
>8401 I
>6467 She
>6021 The
>4790 He
>3911 It

Most common dialogue tags:
>1484 said
>106 began
>73 asked
>66 continued
>52 spoke

Risque word usage:
>pic related (I've never wrote a sex scene, so all those euphemisms aren't used in that manner, but it's funny they're detected)

Sentence lengths:
>pic related

432 colons used
22 instances of consecutive question/exclamation marks
2413 hyphen pairs

Pretty neat. Program is free and called SmartEdit if anyone wants to try it for themselves. It gives extremely long lists for each section, but I truncated them to five for brevity. I'm shocked how short my sentences are and I'm definitely keeping that in mind next time I write.

[Anonymous No.16514613]

>>16514595
>JUST
Oh no....I try to avoid using this one as much as possible

[Anonymous No.16514618]

How the fuck do you deal with contradicting critiques?

[Anonymous No.16514636]

>>16514618
you listen to the one that makes you feel better obviously duh

[Anonymous No.16514651]

>>16514351
>paint a picture of a stereotypical serial killer
Is he not aware that every killer doesn't exhibit the same signs of violence? Some serial killers seem like the most normal people you've ever met. Though the rest of his critique sounds fine, and it doesn't seem like he hated it. Sounds like you need to structure the novel better and add a bit more character. I've seen worse critiques, so don't feel bad about this one

[Anonymous No.16514664]

Does anyone else feel it'd be hard to write a book set in the last 4/5 years because you couldn't leave out any political shit because of how invasive it's been to every day life?

[Anonymous No.16514665]

>>16514618
This guy just told me a cool methodology
>Give an honest response when critiquing
>Enquire about the story, what questions did the writing leave you with?
>Suggestions about the story
>Elevate or rise

[Anonymous No.16514678]

>>16514664
It depends on what the book is about, really

[Anonymous No.16514698]

>>16514678
It could be literally anything semi-realistic. Obviously adding vampires or some other shit could give you an out, but if it was just a regular story I just don't know how you could do it and leave out political/current event shit because of how much that's all shoved in everyone's faces these days. Everyone brings it up in one way or another.

[Anonymous No.16514699]

This might be a basic retard revelation, but has anyone else realized how no one gives a shit about the individual lines, but only cares about story as a whole? Like, if you ever read a Sanderson or Dean Koontz/Patterson novel, line-by-line it's shit, but as a whole, it has a story that general audiences generally enjoy.

[Anonymous No.16514700]

>>16514613
I've intentionally gone back through my story drafts looking for this word specifically. The problem is you (and I, and everyone else) use it when what is meant is "simply," "only," or "merely." Of course, sometimes JUST is the correct word, but more often than not it isn't.

It's pretty annoying when you realize that you overuse a certain word, phrase, or rhetorical tool. Personally, I tend to overuse em dashes, "though," "while," "brief moment," and references to hallways, doorways, and other physical thresholds. 'Tis annoying shit.

[Anonymous No.16514720]

>>16514595
>SHIT BITCH FUCK FUCKING SLUT ASS PISS PRICK PISSED SHITTY HARD ON SNATCH BULLSHIT PENIS DICK WHORE FUCKS TITS ASSHOLE BASTARD HO

What the hell are you writing?

[Anonymous No.16514723]

>>16514698
Well, first of all, the "political/current event shit" you most likely are referring to doesn't apply if you set your story outside of the US, where a good 85% of the population doesn't give two shits about american politics

[Anonymous No.16514738]

>>16514699
That is pretty basic knowledge but opinions about it differ. If you're really only in it for money and gaining a large audience, you'll be writing short chapters with low word variety and a plot that's an action movie script converted to prose. If you're in it for any sort of artistic fulfillment or personal growth, those authors are basically unreadable because of their simplicity. Sanderson has said plenty of times before that his inspired writing is better than his uninspired writing and that the majority of people can't tell the different between them, so he stopped caring about being inspired and just writes regardless of the quality. (It's in one of his lectures, if anyone is interested)
It really comes down to your personal aspiration.

[Anonymous No.16514745]

>>16514699
That seems to be in line with Aristotle talking about how the whole is what can be defined as beautiful in his Poetics

[Anonymous No.16514817]

Does anyone use the OP info?
Is it helpful?
What should be added to it next thread?

[Anonymous No.16514825]

>>16514817
Yeah, I read Save the Cat this week. Found it to be pretty helpful and insightful

[Anonymous No.16514834]

>>16514817
welcome critiques into /wg/ so /crit/ doesnt die instantly like it always does

[Anonymous No.16514849]

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rockpapercynic/the-story-engine-deck-of-endless-storytelling-prompts-book
Anyone tried out this? It's a deck of cards with writing prompts ...

[Anonymous No.16514854]

>>16514720
A whole lot of nothing much

[Anonymous No.16514920]

>>16514723
As someone who has never left the contiguous US, that sounds like a bad idea

[Anonymous No.16514947]

>>16514920
Why? If your story is compelling enough on it's own people won't care wether it's set in America or in Tuvalu, heck if you're really worried about that, set it in the near future, like 2025

[Anonymous No.16515096]

>>16514854
is this a parody?

[Anonymous No.16515122]

>>16515096
It's taken from 1.6 million words of attempted stories that I've been writing since middle school. For example, every usage of slut, whore and fuck were all from one single SoL YA trilogy I wrote in high school.

[Anonymous No.16515182]

>>16514333
>a discord of twitch writers
Is this kind of thing public or invite-only?

[Anonymous No.16515259]

>>16515182
https://discord.gg/76tu5M

[Anonymous No.16515336]

>>16515122
Have you written anything that you consider to be good?

[Anonymous No.16515375]

>>16515336
Yes, the published stuff, which makes up approximately 365,000 words of that mass of garbage. And some of the comedy novellas of early college too, but that's because they still crack me up, not because they're well written.

[Anonymous No.16515447]

Is it normal for a writers to contemplate suicide?

[Anonymous No.16515480]

>>16515447
anyone who wants to be a writer is obviously already mentally ill, so suicidal ideation seems to fit

[Anonymous No.16515493]

>>16515447
>>16515480
It's looking better every day.

[Anonymous No.16515620]

>>16515447
I can't kill myself until I see the president die from rona. Gotta live for something. But yes, it's normal. Just don't act on it.

[Anonymous No.16515642]

>>16514552
Doing erotic writing commissions is easy - just find a popular website with lots of coomers and start blaring the horn about doing niche writing commissions for them.
I got £200 in the first month, £1500 in the second and now I've made £3000 in 2 days alone. You don't even have to be a coomer yourself, just not be judgemental
The more niche you do, and the quicker you can write stuff the better. Most coomers will throw money at you like you're Bella Delphine as long as you can meet their deadlines. I've never had anyone try to negotiate prices, and mine are twice as expensive as most other writers, although I write a lot faster as well

[Anonymous No.16515691]

>>16515642
What website?

[Anonymous No.16515714]

>>16515122
>keeping the stuff you wrote as a teenager
Holy fuck, bro. I think I'd die if I hadn't deleted/burnt that stuff.

[Anonymous No.16515730]

How do I find a mentor as based as Dustin Hoffman's character in Stranger than Fiction?

[Anonymous No.16515733]

>>16513102
I'll eventually do this.

[Anonymous No.16515804]

>>16515447
It better be

[Anonymous No.16515822]

>>16515714
I'll never read them, but I can't bring myself to get rid of them either.

[Anonymous No.16515889]

Anyone got a method that works when writing dead tired?
My being a perfectionist and being tired after writing shitty articles all day makes me a paper sack for holding any good writing.

[Anonymous No.16515895]

>>16515889
Go. To. Bed.

[Anonymous No.16515914]

>>16515642
what kind of erotica?

[Anonymous No.16515920]

>>16507155
You can subvert any genre by making it read good.

[Anonymous No.16515928]

>>16514595
Is the program really that insightful? I mean, might as well say that people commonly use the word "he" or "is" and end their sentences with periods or question marks

[Anonymous No.16515950]

>>16511584
Thanks.
All my writing is done in terminals, so the / /'s surrounding words are shorthand for italics and /` '/ is shorthand for single quotes italicized. I've been told not to italicize my dialogue so much, but it just feels natural to me.

>>16511623
It's just an introduction to a larger story, so my main goal was to try and describe naturally what life was like through normal conversation. The Doctor is the main character, but I chose to introduce him through a secondary character. Suddenly slipping into the Doctor's PoV was definitely an accident, but PoV is one of my common fuckups, along with using weak words like Almost, Mostly, and Nearly. It was intentional for him to smoke that quickly since he abuses his position and does not care about using them wastefully. Having him smoke it all in one paragraph did give me pause, but I decided it was better there than trying to be overly logical.

You're right; Denny's personality does feel a little weak. He's a secondary character, so I hadn't given it too much though, but it would probably be good to give him another trait besides soft-spoken and worrisome.

And as for the doctor-not-doctor part, it was mostly to try and display his narcissistic and condescending personality rather than being outright humorous. Not too concerned about changing it, even if it's apparently cliche, which I wasn't aware of.

Thanks for the replies. The main thing I was worried about was the dialogue, since most of my writing is in flighty and ethereal fantasy-ese, writing dialogue that was so cut-and-dry felt a little strange, so it's good to know it isn't shit. Also hopefully my sci-fi jargon sounds acceptably sci-fi.

>>16512621
Oh yeah, you're right I've never smoked a cigarette, but I asked my friend who used to chain smoke for his opinion and that's what he gave me, although not quite as eloquent.

[Anonymous No.16515983]

I went downstairs into the dark tunnel. Blackula’s coffin bed now had a lid over it, like a normal human would sleep with a duvet. I lifted the cover and took a closer look at B’s Black face. It was clearly him, but he looked 30 years younger. His white Afro and mustache were now black. Before, he seemed thin and gaunt, but now his dark cheeks were chubby and pink. His face had an expression of satisfied greed.

I glanced around the room for a weapon. There was only a workman’s shovel. Even though my hands were shaking, I picked up the shovel, lifted it over my shoulder, turned the edge toward him, and struck Count B’s face. But even though I made a direct hit, there wasn’t even a small cut on the count’s skin. I tried a second, a third, and a fourth time, but his body seemed immune to physical attacks.

In any case, he wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon. I searched through his clothes for a key, but I couldn’t find it. There had to be another way out.

I walked further into the tunnel. I had to be careful as there was little light and the path was uneven. Then I heard the sound of many footsteps and heavy objects being set on the floor. Blackula’s employees were probably shipping all those boxes of dirt. At the end of the tunnel, I saw faint light from a half-opened door.

My heart pounded as I jogged toward the workers. I hid behind a box and peeped over the top. The Black employees were heaving dozens and dozens of boxes onto carriages. Every few minutes, a driver left with his cargo.

I crouched behind a box of dirt and watched the workers fill up the back of the carriage with boxes. A worker gave a signal to the driver, who shook his reins and started to drive away. As soon as the worker turned around, I sprinted toward the carriage and jumped in the back.

In the words of the great Black freedom fighter Martin Luther King Jr:

Free at last! Free at last!
Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!

[Anonymous No.16516002]

Notice that Jamarcus Harker calls Count Blackula by the nickname B. This is because black people call their colleagues by the first letter of their first name. I've added authentic black culture into my writing.

[Anonymous No.16516043]

>>16515950
I second the other anon who told you about how unrealistic your prose about smoking was. Smoking is about returning to baseline, unless you’re some 17 year old faggot who only smokes “in social situations” and holds it in the most obviously uncomfortable way, coughing a little bit every time, just to fit in. God I fucking hate people.

[Anonymous No.16516068]

Posted this as it's own thread until I noticed there was a /wg/ thread.

I'm [trying to] write a novel, /lit/. I don't plan to publish it, I am just doing it for the sake of it. Regardless, what recommendations can you give me?

>What's the novel about?
I don't want to give too much detail since I think the concept is kinda dumb, but it's basically a tale of a student who gets rescued by what's essentially a God figure in a war against a devil figure, then when that war ends the student must deal with the consequences of said war. It's set in the near future, like 2030 or something.

[Anonymous No.16516086]

>>16516068
Does the main character have powers or anything? In a war of God vs Devil, it doesn't seem like there's much use for a regular human

[Anonymous No.16516092]

I can't help but refactor my text for density, spotted with unusual language. It's my natural phrasing.

Do I have an audience, or should I force myself to change? I want to write long sci-fi stories.

[Anonymous No.16516103]

>>16516092
Don’t change who you are unless you’re a super autistic /pol/ fag.

I believe in you anon.

[Anonymous No.16516105]

>>16515642
That sounds almost too good to be true. What kind of niches do you write, and how many hours a day?

[Anonymous No.16516123]

>>16516103
>unless you’re a super autistic /pol/ fag.

[Anonymous No.16516127]

>>16516092
I like density but I'm kind of an anomaly among readership.

[Anonymous No.16516130]

You are finishing up that chapter or scene, right, anon?

[Anonymous No.16516132]

>>16516103
> beee yourself, unless people don't like who you are, then change yourself

[Anonymous No.16516135]

>>16516086
Yes and no. All of the characters with powers minus "God" and "Devil" are normal people who were gifted with power given by the aforementioned divine figures in order to help defeat their enemy, I.E. if a guy gets powers from "God", he will try to kill "Devil".

That is another reason why I think it's a very stupid premise, but maybe I can make it work.

[Anonymous No.16516146]

>>16516135
So it's like a CoD game? You get two teams of people, randomly chosen which side they're on and they get all sorts of powers and weapons? I like CoD, so I think it's a good premise.

[Anonymous No.16516155]

>>16516043
Well it's fact that my friend used to chain smoke and drink coffee in the hopes that it would kill him before his eventual suicide would, and it's true that that was how he felt about it, but I'll admit he's not exactly the average smoker.

[Anonymous No.16516161]

>>16516146
Yeah, sort of. Didn't expect that you would think it was an interesting premise, kek.

[Anonymous No.16516186]

>>16516155
I mean, nah, that’s exactly how I feel too. Did he go through with it?

[Anonymous No.16516198]

>>16516186
Well, considering he was open to questions, he's probably still alive. No idea how he's managed to make it this long, but he's still around.

[Anonymous No.16516203]

>>16516161
I've read two YA novels with somewhat similar premises. They both start off great, the first 2-3 battles are creative, or attempt to be creative, and are fun to read. But 1/3 through the novels, it turns into a romance novel between the two main characters. I'm still salty about the bait and switch

[Anonymous No.16516221]

>>16516203
Which books are those?

[Anonymous No.16516262]

>>16516198
Ha. Right. Duh. Sorry.

[Anonymous No.16516275]

>>16515914
>>16516105
Pretty much anything that isn't gore, scat or pedo shit. Mostly weirdos that want pee, furry, diaper or futa stuff. I've had one guy pay me £1,200 for stories of a self insert being fucked by a futa centaur
I write about 2k words an hour, up to 3k words if I actually enjoy writing it. On a workday for my normal job I might spend 2-3 hours writing, but on my days off the sky's the limit. I get paid £1 for every 10 words, so it's whatever I want to do, providing I meet the deadline

[Anonymous No.16516280]

>>16516221
The Crown's Game: like Hunger Games, but it's in Russia and the two main characters are wizards. In the first rounds of the game, the girl wizard turns birds into stone and uses them as projectiles and the boy wizard makes a river come to life and drown the girl wizard. In the second round, the boy wizard tried to suffocate the girl wizard in an invisible box.

By the last round, their """""powers"""" were sending their mice friends to eat their clothes and making a museum exhibit that secretly made them sleepy

Warcross: Ready Player One, except the game is like a virtual reality Call of Duty. This was more of an attempt on creativity, as the main character causes an avalanche that buries her opponents, clearly like the cartoon Mulan

[Anonymous No.16516294]

>>16516280
in Warcross, there's an interracial homo relationship between the male side characters. All the secondary characters die at the end, but I think they come back to life because there's a sequal

[Anonymous No.16516433]

Anons keep tempting me to write erotica for that lucrative money. But I imagine I will have to consume a fuck tons of smuts to write well in that genre. And my brain will rot, and while the money is good now, I will never have the chance to become a great writer with all that trash in cluttering in my head

[Anonymous No.16516452]

>>16516433
People love my erotica and I've never read any other than my own. I'm just a pervert. Let your dick assume direct control and believe in the horny.

[Anonymous No.16516520]

>>16515620
>I can't kill myself until I see the president die from rona.

Don't worry, being a low test nu-male faggot will kill you sooner rather than later, so you have nothing to worry about Anon.

>>16515375
Are you just dumping out constant word salad, or what do you think is the key to your high volume output?

[Anonymous No.16516649]

>The entire chapter is two characters brainstorming how to deal with a problem and ends with them going about the busy work of actually doing it

I don't think exciting would be the correct word, but when you see this in a story, are you interested by it? My plan is that most of their plan will work correctly, but it will fall apart near the end and need some crude improvisation as things near the climax

A quick summary of the situation
>Erin and Dom are planning to raid some drug smugglers
>They find out that a professional assassin has been hired to kill them
>The police want to bring Erin in for protective custody
>If she goes in, the assassin will simply sit around and wait, and she'll miss her opportunity to raid
>If she refuses, the police will investigate what she's been up to
>They decide the play is they need to draw him out into the open before the scheduled raid
>Start talking through how to leave convincing fake information for him
>Create plan to expose herself as bait despite the protective custody
>Work out the plan to get him captured and arrested
>chapter ends

later
>do plan, things go wrong, improvise, he still gets arrested
>continue with the raid as scheduled
>discover the police cut a deal with him and released him the day before
>they should have killed him in the first place and now he's coming to stop them in the climax

[Anonymous No.16516737]

>>16516520
Post chin

[Anonymous No.16516784]

its UNFAIR and B ULLSHIT how songwriters can make mediocre poetry sound great simply by adding sound and vocal delivery

[Anonymous No.16516801]

>>16511944
Not a bad idea in general. I think I'm just a sophist. I'm not even intentionally prideful, maybe I should just only do things I initially suck at.

[Anonymous No.16516815]

>>16516784
It’s all about finding your niche. To be a decent musician there has to be a long list of cognitive and physical skills together. Over all all parts of a given song could be mediocre but because they are put together (which is a skill in itself) the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. But just like a good writer can see how shitty something is that the masses eat up, so too can a musician see how shitty music is. The way you phrase your complaint makes me believe you don’t really know how music works, and thus are jealous of what you perceive as simplicity. But a pop song with a I IV V is about as complex as cat in the hat, and sounds about the same.

[Anonymous No.16516851]

>>16516784
you mean how Justin Bieber made a hit song with only the lyrics baby baby ohhhh?

[Anonymous No.16517101]

>spend a week trying to find a path forward through discovery writing
>It's all bullshit
Sigh... Back to planning

[Anonymous No.16517112]

What do you do if you want to find a really good word for something, but you don't know what the hell to look up to find it? Do you just forget about using a single word for it and just describe it in a sentence, or do you keep trying to find the word?

I'm trying to find a word or term similar to "pain-relieving" but for emotional pain, but "intoxicating" and "enlightening" don't fit it at all.

[Anonymous No.16517134]

>>16517112
Gargle the word at the back of your throat until the micro-intonations spur your memory

[Anonymous No.16517136]

>>16511623
>>16511387
>>16511310
Just wanted to say thank you to this Anon for giving excellent advice. I used to frequent this board's /crit/ threads and work my way through the writing of strangers but I never had the patience or generosity to be this detailed.

[Anonymous No.16517163]

>>16517112
cathartic?

[Anonymous No.16517180]

>>16517163
That's a bit closer to what I'm looking for but not perfect sadly. This is in reference to a drug that numbs horrible emotional pain from everyone living in a shithole. "antidepressant" is a little too clinical but even that word was evading me

[Anonymous No.16517183]

>>16516737

[Anonymous No.16517206]

>>16517180
then use a word more like escape, or descend. descent into whatever. or give the drug a street name everyone calls it. crash or bliss or something

[Anonymous No.16517239]

>>16517112
Soma

[Anonymous No.16517373]

>>16517112
Soothing?

[Anonymous No.16517382]

>>16514849
What the hell? Some years ago, a few friends of mine we're working on the exact same concept. Their project even had the same name. But Mr "Peter Chiykowski" was not one of them. lol guess they got cucked out of a lot of money

[Anonymous No.16517404]

>>16514364
Please tell me how

[Anonymous No.16517415]

>>16514549
Different market. Read Chris Fox's How to Write to Market to see what he means, but basically it involves figuring out which Kindle Store subcategories are active but not too active. After reading twenty or thirty books in that genre, you then shit out a book or seven on the subject. Rinse and repeat.
The point is exactly not to compete with Sanderson in the Fantasy category, where you'll be crushed, but in the Military Fantasy category, which is underserved.

[Anonymous No.16517436]

>>16514817
>use
Reading Self-Publishing for Writers at the moment. It's been helpful.
>add
Techniques of the Selling Writer, of course. I was surprised to find that other anons have read this book, but it really is quite good.

[Anonymous No.16517469]

>>16516649
I don't know who 'him' is in about half the sentences in that post.
But that's the way it's done, yes. Describe a plan in broad strokes (so when we get to the action it's not just a retelling in the present tense), go through with it, shit goes wrong, adapt, overcome

[Anonymous No.16517513]

>>16516649
Well, yeah, the summary makes it sounds like some cheap, contrived TV-show from the 90s. Why is raiding some drug smugglers such a big deal for the characters, that it makes the threat of being murdered a mere inconvenience on the way?
>police cut a deal with him and released him the day before
Now that's just so dumb and lazy.
Is there any point to this story, beside glorifying criminal way of life?

[Anonymous No.16517582]

alright guys, serious question: how popular do you think foot fetish is? Would most readers be weirded out if I spent a page or two to describe the handling of a woman feet?

[Anonymous No.16517610]

>>16517582
Yes. You should work your foot fetish into a sequence where someone describes crawling into the little wound in Jesus' side.

So a holy footjob cunt fuck on Jesus, while he's menstruating.

[Anonymous No.16517613]

Formatting Blackula, 6x9 paperback, large font

[Anonymous No.16517633]

>>16517610
Do I need to tip my fedora now? Can I not get a serious answer for a serious question?

[Anonymous No.16517651]

>>16517633
you dont get a serious answer because its not a serious question, but ill try just 4 u: do not, i repeat, DO NOT inject your fetishes anywhere ever

[Anonymous No.16517652]

>>16517633
There was a foot rubbing passage in the first book of Walt Longmire's detective book series. It was only slightly sexual though

[Anonymous No.16517784]

>>16517651
>>16517652
Aww, 1k words and an hour of passionate work into the scrapped bin then

[Anonymous No.16517808]

>>16515928
It is when you place a single story in. Every instance is shown so you can skim through them all and see if things can we tweaked. It shows like 20 reports, including errors like double spaces, detecting all uses of ellipses, straight quotes vs curly etc. It's just a neat thing to run to help edit. The results aren't so boring when you put in one story

[Anonymous No.16517819]

What if I only write waifu fiction for niche threads on another board? This is my first time on this board because I'm trying to become a better writer both for myself and the aforementioned threads. I'm aware of the need to read and write constantly, but what are some more narrow or specific tips you guys have from your own experiences? Some things I struggle with is dialog not sounding "right" and feeling robotic, and certain sentences feeling way too verbose to the point of drowinging our what I want it to convey.

[Anonymous No.16517822]

>>16516520
The key is that I enjoy writing and never forcing myself to do it.

[Anonymous No.16517850]

>>16517582
what you want to do is instead set up a story scenario where you describing her feet is something the readers would expect
don't randomly describe feet
write an epic action rollerblade saga filled with feet descriptions

[Anonymous No.16517869]

>>16517819
What is waifu ficiton? Is it like 50 Shades of Grey, but for men?

[Anonymous No.16517873]

>>16517869
I mean yeah pretty much. Imagine a few dozen dudes like a waifu, and then a handful write stories with said waifu and, typically, a faceless anon that anyone can project themselves onto. Most of my stuff is that but I'm trying to move away from it, namely in a story I'm doing for Halloween.

[Anonymous No.16517885]

>>16517869
>>16517873
I should add basically none of it is erotica like 50 shades though, not my scene

[Anonymous No.16518033]

>>16517850
Well it's not an out of nowhere scene since I setup that two people have walked for days so the girl's feet are swollen. The guy then uses his mastery of herbs and homebrew medicine to make a healing paste for her feet. The 1k words of describing the process of he applying the paste carefully on every part of her feet is out of nowhere though.

[Anonymous No.16518048]

>>16518033
That doesn't sound that bad, assuming it's not written like erotica. 1k words may be a bit much but idk the pacing of your story

[Anonymous No.16518050]

Work in progress. Wrote most of it this morning. Thoughts? Pros and cons would be nice.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Bl0w4zguwQOEPnCcI833V-_vJj-XqgUdjZvuGe68svM/edit?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.16518341]

>>16518050
Cons: reads like a low-effort shitpost on /x/
Pros: didn't read very far

[Anonymous No.16518357]

>>16506871
I just dropped out after my first year, great first term then strikes followed by rona really bummed me out and the course quality dipped, as long as getting in debt from underpaid furlough. Gonna try carry on writing on my own and see what feedback I can get
>>16507023
Can your recommend any? Would appreciate it as I'm off my course now

[Anonymous No.16518413]

How do you find your own voice bros?

[Anonymous No.16518537]

>>16518050
I read the whole thing. I think the premise is good, computer takes control of your mind, provides you with pleasurable stimulus, it feels like 5 minutes, but when you turn the machine off, holy fuck, 8 hours have passed. I don't think the writing is very clear or concise though

[Anonymous No.16518541]

>>16518413
In my (limited) experience, it comes from a combination of technical knowhow in grammar, vocabulary and whatnot, as well as writing from a position that you understand and care about. In my stories when I write about a character or subject I myself am attached too, I typically write with a bit more energy and creativity and really 'feel' what I'm putting to paper, cliché as that may sound. Find something you care about and want to explore in writing and, lacking that, create that something and then explore a world in which that something exists. I say 'something' because it could literally be anything, a character, an idea or ideology, a place and its inhabitants, etcetera.

[Anonymous No.16518552]

>>16517513
>wow a summary of a subplot from a story I know nothing about put into a greentext sounds vaguely like a thing I don't like!
anon please

[Anonymous No.16518565]

>>16505069
How important would you say that it is thinking about your public before you write? As in, which kind of people you expect to read your work, be they men or women, teens or adults, etc.
I usually just think of a story that I'd want to read, and not in terms of demographics, but maybe that's an amateur's mistake on my part.

[Anonymous No.16518576]

>>16518565
That depends on whether you're creating a work of art or a commercial product.

[Anonymous No.16518662]

>>16518576
I had an idea and I want to explore it in a fully fledged novel to see how it develops. I'd love for other people to read it, but I wouldn't mind if I couldn't make money off it.

[Anonymous No.16518672]

>>16509532
First sentence: cut the word "up".
Second sentence: "The man was clutching his crimonstained gut." (Using the word "lying" in the first and second sentences is doubly redundant: i.e., the word itself, and what the word is describing, which only needs to be stated once.)
Third sentence: "He grinned." (We know he's in pain; he's clutching a gutshot stomach.)

Fourth sentence: "The soldier said nothing."
Fifth sentence: "He unholstered his revolver, checked the chamber, and snapped it back in place."

Sixth sentence: delete "said the man in the dirt." Combine the two lines of dialogue into a single, two-sentence remark."

Seventh and eighth sentences: "The soldier pointed the revolver at the man's forehead, then lowered it slowly."

Ninth sentence: delete "at an angle" and "sprayed out and"

"The man gurgled and choked, then seemed to stare at a point in the sky. The blood formed a shallow pool like a dark halo around his head."

[Anonymous No.16518725]

>>16518662
Then don't worry about focus group testing.

[Anonymous No.16518794]

>>16517613
>Black Jesus crucifix
love it

[Anonymous No.16518850]

>>16518552
Thanks for skipping all the actual points, faggot.

[Anonymous No.16518889]

Hooray! I've finished part 1 of Blackula, where Jamarcus (John) Harker meets Dracula (Blackula) and barely escapes his castle. 8000 words

Now I'm going to read the real Dracula. Then I'll know what happens and I can write a summary and then make all the characters black.

Peter Hawkins --> Abebe Hawkins
Mina Murray --> Moesha Murray
Lucy Westenra --> Lupita Westenra

I still need to think of how to blackify Van Helsing's name.

Fun fact: I just found out that Van Helsing in the new Netflix Dracula is a girl
> pic related

[Anonymous No.16518920]

>>16518850
Maybe because your points don't pertain to the fucking question and I don't feel any need to respect your post when you clearly aren't giving me an iota of benefit of the doubt, niggerfaggot

[Anonymous No.16518928]

>>16518920
Someone has already answered your question above, anon. Why not talk to them instead white knighting for your own ego?

[Anonymous No.16518944]

>>16518920

>are you interested by my greentext list?
>no, it's not interesting because x, y, and z
>H-HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT THE PLOT
Get help, freak

[Anonymous No.16518988]

>>16516649
Yeah, that guy is being a bit aggressive and a dick, but he has a point

Erin is in serious danger of being killed by an assassin. Why does she care so much about a drug raid? There will be other opportunities for drug raids in the future

[Anonymous No.16518998]

>>16518988
What am I missing in the english language that everyone else thinks a raid is apparently just to steal shit.

In a military sense, raiding a place is generally to destroy their shit, take it if you want it, and to kill people

[Anonymous No.16519024]

>>16518998
And that can't wait until after the assassin is dealt with?

[Anonymous No.16519033]

>>16518889
>blackify Van Helsing's name
have characters refer to him as "Professa"

[Anonymous No.16519047]

>>16518998
If they're not after the drugs themselves, why don't they just tell the police and let them take care of the whole thing? It makes no sense.

[Anonymous No.16519049]

>>16519024
In an entirely mechanical sense, there's a time limit because time limits increase the stakes.

In the logic of the world, the date is controlled by essentially the kingpin have to show up to the city, putting him within striking distance of Erin and Dom, and it might be years more of low grade to professional killers coming for her until she gets another chance.

There's an open bounty on her head in the black market, this guy is being named and built up to give some structure to the narrative beyond an episodic "and then this guy tried to kill her" "and then this guy tried to kill her" and so on

[Anonymous No.16519067]

>>16519047
Because their goal is killing several people, rather than letting them go to court and get extradited, never to see justice due to international pressure

They do tip off the police on large portions of the activities, while they mop up specific people.

[Anonymous No.16519076]

>>16518998
Right. But raids are common events. For example, you can raid pretty much any time you log onto WoW. Even at high levels you can do a raid every couple of days. But if you're dead, you can't raid anymore. So logically, it would make more sense to cancel this raid and deal with the assassin. After the assassin business is over, then Erin and her boyfriend can go on more raids

[Anonymous No.16519083]

>>16519067
When several plot points are based on the incompetent authorities trope, I'm still gonna have to say it's dumb.

[Anonymous No.16519089]

>>16505288's image instantly reminded me of this absolute classic: https://youtu.be/TKfS5zVfGBc

Put it on loop, write, and post results!

[Anonymous No.16519108]

Here it is. Use this to learn technical writing skill and story beats. https://www.typelit.io/

[Anonymous No.16519123]

>>16519049
Ah, that makes more sense. I think it's a nice action plot, anon. Like I said above, the cycle
>plan in broad strokes
>plan goes awry and everything seems lost
>character pushes themselves and prevails
is a common recipe that you can rely on.

[Anonymous No.16519125]

>>16519083
I'm not trying to portray the authorities as incompetent, or at least no more incompetent than modern america as a baseline. There is the assumption that if she goes into protective custody, they're more the capable of keeping her safe and alive. It's just that she will miss her chance to kill the dude.

Large scale drug smuggling and human trafficking rings exist in real life you know. They're not pakis in this case either, so the police won't be covering it all up.

[Anonymous No.16519141]

>>16519108
Very nice, anon, thank you. This should be in the sticky

[Anonymous No.16519142]

Do you use placeholders during your writing process? Such as giving a character the first name that comes to mind before you think of a better one, or writing an admittedly bad description or scene just so that you don't get stuck, knowing that you'll return to rewrite it later?

[Anonymous No.16519179]

I'm trying to limit my shitty prose by imposing it into a syllabic structure. Thoughts?
>"You want to know something fun-
>-ny? He'd take Clarisse shopping
>for menswear, buy all these ex-
>-pensive outfits. They'd spend hours
>playing dress up; then he'd fuck
>her from behind like a boy."

[Anonymous No.16519182]

>>16519141
Agreed. The tool is fantastic. It should be part of every school curriculum. Rote learning.

[Anonymous No.16519219]

>>16519142
I'll occasionally surround those in square brackets like [Scrogan] so it's easy to ctrl+f and find them. Whenever I'm writing fantasy, I find I'm using placeholder names almost 80% of the time when I'm writing and wait for good names to hit me naturally, then go back and add them.

[Anonymous No.16519241]

>>16519123
Aight, I'll keep running with it.

You'll likely see more of me here or in the Nano area or /tg/ or something. There's quite a bit more going on with the context of the setting, namely that what Erin hasn't taken an appreciation of is the drugs are just a front to build channels of movement. They're bringing drugs in yes, but it's to facilitate smuggling stolen technology out of the city.

I have a preference for plots where the characters get in over their heads because of their own ignorance.

[Anonymous No.16520001]

https://www.fictionontheweb.co.uk/2018/12/a-classic-axe-murder-by-ian-rubin.html?m=1

Thoughts?

[Anonymous No.16520072]

>>16519142
I leave a gap in the text when there's a scene I can't be arsed to write, or mark the spot with a number. But I can't use placeholder names, because if I get used to calling a character by a certain name, it'll be impossible to change afterwards.

[Anonymous No.16520082]

>>16519108
Can there be a bigger waste of time?

[Anonymous No.16520111]

>>16519142
Sometimes. If there's a certain word or phrase where I know I can do better, I put that section in brackets and come back to it later. I think this helps the flow of writing a little bit, since you're not constantly stopping as much. I still nit pick a lot though while I'm writing.

[Anonymous No.16520116]

>>16520082
Browsing 4chan

[Anonymous No.16520135]

>>16520116
At least I'm not here typing out someone else's shitpost.

[Anonymous No.16520138]

>>16519179
That's pretty gay, anon

[Anonymous No.16520156]

I'm considering writing trashy women's romance lit under a pseudonym, has anyone got experience doing the same?

[Anonymous No.16520204]

>>16520156
>I'm considering writing trash
You've come to the right place, fren

[Anonymous No.16520237]

>>16520156
No experience, but apparently the book Romancing the Beat is a good how-to

[Anonymous No.16520246]

>>16520156
It can be your nanowrimo novel

[Anonymous No.16520301]

Yeah, I have got Shakespearean scanscion
I've got a crime record like Charles Manson

[Anonymous No.16520440]

>>16520156
You should do a Christmas trashy women's romance story and release it in December. It's an automatic best seller

[Anonymous No.16520551]

>>16520440
I once had an idea for a Christmas story. It was going to be about a single father with two children. Christmas is approaching but he's lost his job and he has no money to buy presents for the children. No one will hire him. It's going to be a miserable Christmas and he feels like a failure. But then one day he sees an advertisement—"Wanted: Man With Dad Bod." He replies to the advertisement. It turns out it's for a gay strip club. The club maintains a roster of dancers that cover all the homoerotic archetypes: the cowboy, the fireman, the biker, and so on. But they lack one quintessential character—the skinnyfat everyman, etiolated from years spent under fluorescent office lighting—among their ensemble. Our protagonist, who is not homosexual but has no other job prospects, decides to take the job. Soon, under the tutelage of a beneficent (and some not so beneficent) cast of gay dancers at the club, our hero learns the true meaning of Christmas and the value of family. I was going to call it "Homo for the Holidays."

[Anonymous No.16520560]

>>16516452
Is it possible to learn this power?

[Anonymous No.16520606]

>"Don't come back till you have him!" the Ticktockman said, very quietly, very sincerely, extremely dangerously.

holy friggen kino

[Anonymous No.16520687]

>Writing software glitches out and freezes
>Seconds later my entire book draft self-deletes
>Gasp in horror
>Reopen the app and it's there but I lost a few pages
REMEMBER TO REGULARLY BACKUP YOUR WORK. YOU HAVE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME IF YOUR COMPUTER SHITS THE BED AND IT VANISHES INTO NOTHINGNESS

[Anonymous No.16520732]

How to write a critique on /lit/
>Anon, this sounds like something I saw on the internet
>I will now focus on some minute detail like an autist
>I will now explain the plot of your piece and then say "for some reason"
>Everything seems to go over my head so I will say it is obscure, because I haven't actually read literature before.

[Anonymous No.16520746]

>>16520687
which program? Is sciviver worth it?

[Anonymous No.16520751]

>>16520746
>Is sciviver worth it?
not him but yes

[Anonymous No.16520755]

>>16520751
why?

[Anonymous No.16520797]

>>16520746
I'm a mac fag (or at least prefer writing on a mac) so I use Ulysses. It's actually a good piece of software. But I bought it when they used a one time payment rather than a subscription service where you have to pay like $15 a month. I refuse that so I'm stuck with an outdated and unsupported version of the software from 2015. It has lots of cool features like an interesting file project organization system, support for markdown, a clean minimalistic interface.

I would use google drive for the auto-backup cloud storage or some freeware but the interfaces are ugly.

[Anonymous No.16520811]

Imagine not using Vim and typesetting your own books using LaTeX. If you can't figure out how to set up your own terminal writing environment, you're a pseud and lack the brainpower for literature

[Anonymous No.16520840]

>>16520755
It's a fancy word processor that acts as an all in one research and note-taker also. And you can import other documents into it seamlessly as well. You can configure it in a variety of ways like for screenplays or plays or scene-by-scene fictions. It's a bit overpriced but the versatility of it is great and you can all of it or none at all.

[Anonymous No.16520854]

>>16520811
>Vim
Using a code editor for writing anything but code is unnecessarily autistic.

[Anonymous No.16520878]

>>16520854
>"code editor"

[Anonymous No.16520909]

>>16520755
I use it for research and outlines. It's pretty nice. Helps me keep everything organized

[Anonymous No.16520915]

The only things I want to write are like the books I read. The books I read 99.5% of the time I show them to anyone even online elicit responses along the lines of "what is this unintelligible pretentious crap?" or more commonly "I don't get it, not even a bit". Even when I try to write more normie stuff like horror I still just get feedback from family after reading it that goes "put down the thesaurus".
I struggle to write when I know virtually no one I know will be able to appreciate it. Shit sucks but I just gotta get over it desu.

[Anonymous No.16520920]

>>16520687
This isn't really a problem for anyone using updated software. Just about everything is instantly backed up now

[Anonymous No.16520937]

>>16520915
Stop using a bunch of words that the average person doesn't know. You're not going to get away with it like Gene Wolfe died. The amount of people who are going to appreciate a more obscure word sounding slightly better in the sentence are very few

[Anonymous No.16520945]

>>16520937
Did*
I still can't get over the fact that he's gone :(

[Anonymous No.16520950]

>>16520732
>20 years later, anon still mad

[Anonymous No.16520977]

Anyone else enjoying the comfiness of writing really-short stories (microfiction I think is called)? I'm talking less than 100 words. I'm learning about the importance of every word, and also experimenting different approaches to sintaxis and how I build my sentences. Some of them are plain ripoffs of Kafka, but is fun nonetheless. Damn, how I love that man.
Writing long pieces gives me headaches.
The bad part is I have a ton of short texts everywhere and I don't know what to do with them. It's not like a magazine would take them.

[Anonymous No.16520994]

>>16520915
put down the thesaurus

[Anonymous No.16520996]

>>16520937
thats the thing though, I don't use excessively obscure words. I just write a bit purple.They know the words they just think that anything that uses words that wouldn't commonly be found in speech in 2020 is trying to be pretentious. Words like oh idk, "tumultuous" or "lackadaisical". I don't try and use obscure words I just write like the authors I read write, and most of what I read was written before 1950

[Anonymous No.16521004]

>>16520977
think you want at least 500 words to tell a story

[Anonymous No.16521044]

>>16520996
you can write purple and descriptive without using obscure words, give it a try

[Anonymous No.16521049]

>>16520996
Well, what the average person considers purple is generally rather simple writing, so I'll give you that. Reading some more modern novels wouldn't hurt, though. That's something I need to do more of as well

[Anonymous No.16521133]

>>16521049
well thats the other thing. All the modern authors and books I read get the exact same response from everyone around me as my writing, so maybe I am doing something right lol. Here is the first sentence from Conversations by Cesar Aira, one of the few recently published works I have on my bookshelf.
"I know longer know if I ever fall asleep. If I do I remain outside of sleep itself, in that constantly moving ring of icy asteroids that circles the dark and immobile hollow of oblivion."
Thats pretty close to how I write and what gets people to say they don't get it and its too wordy. Thats what I am dealing with. It's not even about the words so much as just a complete disgust normies feel when they read a sentence and have to think for longer than a second about what it means thats the real problem.
Like I said I don't really want to write something that everyone can enjoy. Thats just a hindrance on my creativity

[Anonymous No.16521144]

>>16521133
I don't get that sentence and it's stupid desu

[Anonymous No.16521156]

>>16521004
"When it woke up, the dinosaur was still there." ("Cuando despertó, el dinosaurio todavía estaba allí.")

That's The Dinosaur, by Monterroso.
The story is as big as the reader wants it to be. When writing microfiction you play when the things you DON'T say, and are left implicit.

[Anonymous No.16521190]

>>16521144
Aira writes like he's having a schizo episode, don't bother. He tends to open his novels with incoherent meditations upon something.

[Anonymous No.16521200]

>>16520977
Yes, I had fun writing flash fiction based on anon writing prompts. Post one of yours for us to read. If more anons did this we could put them into an anthology.

Completely aside, I'm writing something now and feel good about it. I'm going to try 1,000 words/day.

[Anonymous No.16521204]

>>16521156
>When writing microfiction you play when the things you DON'T say, and are left implicit.
I love stories that do this. Here are some suggestions
Short Stories
"The Bodyguard" by Donald Bartheleme
"Barn Burning" by Murakami

Novels
The Travesty by John Hawkes
Pitch Dark by Renata Adler

[Anonymous No.16521219]

>>16521190
see, what did I tell you lol. It's like this with every author I enjoy reading.

[Anonymous No.16521326]

>>16521219
What, weren't you talking about a supossedly "fluffy" style? Aira openers are often incoherent and longer than they should be (and Im not the only one who think this), but they serve a purpose, which is to distabilize the reader for what is coming.
You shouldn't take what others say about your prose at face value, but rather if you want or not to cause that impression, and if it adapts to what you're trying to do.
Btw I love Aira, I have a lot of fun reading him. He is like an antithesis to me: he writes a lot and refuses to edit, such a madman.

>>16521204
Thanks, I'll check them out.

>>16521200
I can't write with prompts, I block myself. I'd post some but they are in Spanish. I'll set a challenge to myself to write something in English, your idea sounds good? Should we set a word limit for the stories?

[Anonymous No.16521734]

I am going to write a novel. I've been sitting on a really fantastic idea for 4 years now and have been too lazy to do anything with it. My girl left me last Friday and I am filled with nothing but rage. I'm going to sublimate my anger into writing. There's no better motivator than spite, right? Wish me luck bros. Also, you're all cool motherfuckers for making these threads and giving one another constructive criticism. I'll come back in a few days when I have some passages to post. Peace.

[Anonymous No.16521891]

>>16521734
Good for you, Anon. I'm rooting for you

[Anonymous No.16521900]

How much of the "read before you write" thing is about understanding story/plot vs learning good writing/style?

[Anonymous No.16521914]

>>16521734
Good luck anon. As some advice, I started a story like 2 years ago. Wrote a little here and there. Fell by the wayside. Wrote a little more the next year. Same thing. Got like 7500 words total. All this while I knew where the story was going to be heading.
Picked it back up like 2 months ago. Added roughly 15k more words since then, and now going strong, know exactly where the next like 10 chapters are going to be headed.
There's no secret to what you need to do. Make a point of writing every day. Some days you'll barely get anything out. Others you'll get a bunch more. But make a point of writing every day because if you don't life has a way of getting in the way, and your story will sit unfinished on your hard drive.

[Anonymous No.16521921]

>>16521900
Probably about 90%
People will tolerate extremely shitty writing if they like the story and characters. Just look at the number of people who read isekai and fanfiction.

[Anonymous No.16521958]

>>16521921
That makes me feel a bit better about having wasted my youth not reading. Story crafting/writing is something I've done in one way or another my entire life, and in the last few years I've really dug into the mechanics of what makes a good story and what they need. I feel confident in my ability to make a solid story.

Where I feel I lack is style/voice. I'm terrified that no matter how good the pieces are they'll fall flat because the writing is bad.

[Anonymous No.16521967]

>>16521734
Go go go

[Anonymous No.16521999]

>go to /ic/
>most of the criticism towards other anons seems to be about them not learning fundamentals, proportions, or that they don't practice enough
>the metric of what constitutes good art seems clear
>go to /lit/
>anons will critcise people for literally writing stuff that isn't genreshit. Stuff that takes a bit more intellectual effort than literal word candy gets shot down for being "unclear". Thousands upon thousands of mouth-breathing retards post their royalroad links etc.; barely anyone has any literary merit, nor do they know what it is. The metric for good writing has gone out the window.

[Anonymous No.16522074]

>>16515642
bro I beg you what website I wanna make coomer bucks

[Anonymous No.16522079]

>>16521999
>The metric for good writing has gone out the window
Good writing is clear prose, maybe with some artistic flairs here and there but not so much that it distracts the reader. Plot with a beginning, middle and end that conforms to some sort of internal logic, and some compelling characters. If you have some sort of philosophical hobbyhorse you want to ride into the ground, be my guest, but that in and of itself doesn't make good writing.

[Anonymous No.16522137]

>>16522079
>beginning, middle and end
You haven't even read Aristotle have you? That's not the three act structure. Stop being a pseud.

[Anonymous No.16522161]

>>16522137
>aristotle
like I said, if you have some philosophical hobbyhorse, be my guest, but otherwise fuck off

[Anonymous No.16522265]

Do anons think it a good idea to advertise erotic fiction patreon on a serious author page? Will it be looked down upon?

[Anonymous No.16522308]

New thread
>>16522301
>>16522301
>>16522301

[Anonymous No.16522524]

>>16522265
If someone were to pay you to write erotic fiction where you transpose them into a story where they fuck a girl they have a crush on — and the intention is that they will send this story to the girl in question — would you do it?

[Anonymous No.16522584]

>>16521891
>>16521914
>>16521967
Thanks for the encouragement. And yeah im planning on dedicating at least several hours to writing each day. I'm unemployed right now so I have fuck all else to do lol. Wish you guys luck in your projects. We're all gonna fucking make it bros.

[Anonymous No.16522621]

>>16522524
Yes. Would you like that for yourself anon?