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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/lit/ - Literature

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16411725 No.16411725 [Reply] [Original]

>native American coworker keeps making up bullshit stories incorporating his culture to fuck with people
>completely genuine and dead pan delivery
>made up fluidly with no pre-planning
>tells me afterwards it was all bullshit

>each and every one is absolute fucking kino and it kills me to think that if he decided to put it to paper he would effortlessly eclipse any work I have done myself

What the fuck bros. I'm not going to hold his race or anything against him but I feel completely invalidated by his creative genius and shamefully I am secretly glad his culture is based heavily on oral tradition so that he may never get proper recognition, spitting in the face of my hard-fought dream of writing.

>> No.16411731

Racism is based but that's an ugly thing to think, you should encourage him for his own sake and the glory of his people

>> No.16411738

based native BVLL with SOVL

>> No.16411756

>>16411725
That's hilarious. You should tell him he could make some serious bucks selling that kind of nonsense. Some white lady editor would read it and eat it up for sure, the guy could be a millionaire.

>> No.16411783

>>16411725
Tell us one of his bullshit stories

>> No.16411799

>>16411731
I know it's an ugly thing to think but the thought is still there. Here I am with 2 loving parents and an abundance of opportunity and education and here is this native man crawling out of the reservation with more passion and ability but no intent to use it other than oral storytelling

>> No.16411820

Steal his ideas for the glory of the hwhite man just like the land.

>> No.16411838

>>16411799
>no intent to use it other than oral storytelling
Based and traditionpilled

>> No.16411840

>>16411799
based injun

>> No.16412037

>>16411799
you should be grateful you met someone this based, write a book about him

>> No.16412144

>>16412037
moby dick 2

>> No.16412433

>>16411783
He has a rather long and creative one about a locket he got his gf. I'll try it off memory, in greentext to save space and time:
>anniversary with his gf is coming up
>had no idea what to get her
>says there are only 3 places a man can truly think and that since he already took a shit that day and he showered the day before that fishing was his only option
>describes ice fishing for hours, freezing his ass off
>about to give up when a gale wind freezes him to the bone and drives the snow off the ice
>in the ice he sees something glowing bright heading right towards him, like a brilliant silver sword
>its a fish and it grabs the line, snapping his pole but he wound the line around his forearms, cutting him painfully
>the fish is fighting him, pulling on the line and at risk of breaking it
>fish is pulling with such force that the line is cutting through the ice, he follows it for 2 whole days until it tires out
>gets the fish, extracts its silver scales
>goes in the woods to seek further guidance, finds a tree stump in a field whose roots suspend the trunk a little above the ground
>lights a fire under it lile a kiln and smelts the scales into shape, leaving a tree symbol on it (like the real locket had)
>goes to his grandma who is an elder, she weaves her silver hair into a silver chain
>gives his 70 dollar locket to his gf

>> No.16412512
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16412512

>>16411838
>let your talent go to waste on obsolete cultural practices

>> No.16412539

>>16411799
Any other time and this man would have became a wise old chief

>> No.16412545

>>16411725
tell him to bullshit some anthropologists it'll be hilarious and they'll embarrass themselves hardcore

>> No.16412595

>>16412433
Hearty fucking kek. Being able to deliver pure bullshit in deadpan is a lost art. The idea of this injun selling this poohucky to urbanite idiots is the pinnacle of human interaction. It reads like an actual heroic epic.

>> No.16412597
File: 30 KB, 747x747, 1584697992661.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16412597

>>16411725
He's probably just a based Entp like myself; now imagine how much a white man would eclipse you-- That's me.

>> No.16412685

>>16411783
Another one, when one of our bosses asked about our mental health he made up a recurring dream:
>walking in the woods
>sees a traditionally dressed native corpse
>corpse is in a kneeling, hunched over position
>it's an ancient warrior, wearing deer skin pants, warrior braids, no shirt but his body is chalk white from ashe
>looks like he has been dead for centuries
>leaning against the warriors shoulder is a large 2 person hand saw used for cutting trees back in the day
>the warrior has his own throat pressed against the saw blade, dried blood is caked onto the steel
>it becomes suddenly quite cool and he could see his breath, small flakes beginning to descend on the lush green earth
>he hears the crackle of thunder behind him so he turns around to see a storm is coming
>the sound of thunder stops and after a pause he hears what sounds like thunder again behind him, where the dead warrior is
>he recognizes the sound, it's not thunder but the sound of the large steel blade flexing
>he never gets to turn around, this is when he wakes up

No one knew what to say

>> No.16412721

>>16412597
Basically me, except italian without any pepes but a chip in his eye and sparkles on his shoulders -- It's-a me.

>> No.16412728

>>16412433
Would this man's surname happen to be Orosco?

>> No.16412760
File: 9 KB, 326x306, That+gave+me+a+hearty+kek+_322059a66038135152a85eeb7866bbf7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16412760

>>16412685
By the nine, this shit is gold. A true inspiration.

>> No.16412965

>>16412760
Here's one of his non-culture ones
>driving and pull up at a stop light, there's a coffee place right on the corner at the lights
>says he is having deja vu
>says he had a dream where he was driving here at night and as the light was going from green, to amber, then to red, instead of a solid red stop light it was blood pouring out like a fountain onto the street
>it stops abruptly when the light is green again
>he makes a right turn to enter the coffee place and get a drink, in the dream he didn't feel the blood fountain was weird or out of place
>once in the cafe he sees that there are streamers and banners around, apparently there is a new blend of coffee being released
>there are a dozen or so patrons there, enjoying the new brew and laughing amongst each other
>as he gets handed a cup everyone stops and stares at him
>they start gagging and coughing, there's a glow inside their throats
>fire shoots out of their throats with force, sounds like screaming
>everyone slouches over dead, he is left alone in the cafe
>looks around, sees a clown walking into the mens rest room and follows him in
>the moment he walks into the restroom he is confronted with a mirror
>he is dressed and done up as a clown, alone now in the restroom
>i forget how it ends

>> No.16413005

>>16412728
Negative, his last name is french

>> No.16413038
File: 133 KB, 986x1002, 1600454064038.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16413038

>>16412760
What makes it so good?

>> No.16413125

>>16413038
It's the whole frijole. The deadpan delivery, the improvisations, the non sequitur, the spicey flecks of cultural influence, all being given in a wholly unabashed and truthful way to a buncha goofy kids who I'm sure hear it and think "whoa he is so in touch with The Spirits ™".
It might also be because I too love to tell invented stories to people, and my favorite part is making the stories wackier and weirder until I've alienated all my listeners.
It's incredible what people will believe if you can tell it to then with a straight face.
Do you not enjoy them?

>> No.16413135

>>16412685
it's a great story, but why would he tell it if the bosses are presumably wanting to hear that he's mentally healthy? he could have just as easily told it to make himself look better? or was he just trying to underline how ineffectual management is or something?

>> No.16413213

>>16413005
based

>> No.16413311

>>16411725

Diversity is a curse.

>> No.16413323

>>16411725
If he is "native American" what are you?
Just an immigrant?

>> No.16413389

>>16413311
>>16413323
>>>/pol/

>> No.16413403

>>16413389
Not /pol/ people just ignore all of the problems diversity causes?

>> No.16413431

>>16413323
The only people I've ever met who truly appreciate the plight of the natives are fascists and "racists", who can actually see them as a people and understand how badly they have been raped by white colonialism. If I could give the Americas back to natives I would, at this point they're being given to Africa and whatever the fuck a mexican is instead.

>> No.16413450

>>16413431
FUck you for quoting my question and not answering it.

We clearly should have killed all of those subhumans so we would not have deal with with clowns like you now moaning about what we supposedly did to them.

>> No.16413458

>>16413450
No race should ever be exterminated, every race has a value and a destiny. You are the trash of the white race.

>> No.16413466

>>16413403
Here's a redpill for ya bud: diversity is inescapable. No two organisms are identical (except, sometimes, clones). You probably meant multiculturalism.

>> No.16413467

>>16412721
Okay fag, go take your pepe-la-pew talk and frog eating someplace else.

>> No.16413468

>>16413431
WHITES ARE NATIVE NOW FUCK FACE!!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.16413473

>>16413458
>No race should ever be exterminated,

People insist we geocided the stupid indians so we should have.

>> No.16413485

>>16413466
No fuck you, stop paying games and pretending words have their traditional value, diversity simply means not white, it means shoving a bunch of assholes that hate White people around White people, IT CAUSES PROBLEMS>

>> No.16413486
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16413486

>>16413431
>>16413468
Epic cope

>> No.16413496

>>16413473
Morons who only care about the natives when they can whine and bully others on behalf think that. The natives themselves don't know they are being used and manipulated because they are so lost that they all have brain damage from huffing paint and drinking by the time they are 14.

There can be more than two options you know. You don't either have to be a pro genocide supremacist who despises minorities or a crying manipulative pussy who only cares about minorities when you can use them.

>> No.16413497

>>16413486
There is nothing to cope with, anti-White mother fuckers are just brainwashed.

>> No.16413534

Well, this thread was fun for a minute.
Can you dimwits really not deal with life in any way that doesn't involve histrionics? His being native American only effected the thread because the guy sometimes used native American imagery in his silly stories.
Really, Anon, examine your life, for Pete's sake.

>> No.16413540
File: 14 KB, 480x360, B675968D-45C6-41A6-A5EC-F3A08DEEEE2F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16413540

>>16413485
>stop pretending words have their traditional value
No, I'm not opting in to retard newspeak. There's nothing intelligent or useful about imprecise language (except, perhaps, its use to confuse and exploit fools).

>> No.16413550

>>16413534
Answer the question!
If he is "native American" what are you?

>> No.16413556

>>16413540
You don't have a choice.
When the mob is using that way then that is the meaning.

Stop being a cunt.

>> No.16413569

>>16411725
When the pressure's on and you're just spinning a yarn for a specific audience with the goal of fucking with them, it's easier to come up with shit than if you're just trying to come up with shit.

>> No.16413590

>>16411725
pain is the basis of creativity
you only think his stories are bullshit, but they come from a place of genuine suffering

>> No.16413604

>>16413550
Just plain old American. No qualifiers needed, bud.

>> No.16413622

>>16413550
If you want to play semantics, everyone from two continents is "American".

>> No.16413642

>>16413622
THEY PLAY semantics by labeling themselves native Americans.

Also no mexican that is not even the case.

>> No.16413664

>>16413550
His ancestors are native to the Americas, and predated my ancestors arrival, who are native to Greece.
Thusly, his people are native Americans. Although to be fair, his people often prefer the term American Indian.

>> No.16413675

>>16413664
So you are nothing?
Okay great, it must feel great to be a brainwashed sack of shit that assigns greater value to other people.

So fucking progressvie, jsuch a good peronsrlfsan,a rw0]-

>> No.16413679

>>16413675
Is this butterfly

>> No.16413684

>>16413664
Why the fuck do we even have a country when your completely fucked up brainwashed point of view is now the norm?

Just disband it and get it over with.

>> No.16413705

>>16413664
>predated


If time matters, which is does not then no nation on earth exists.

Great, I guess that means that black and brown people actually own all of them.

Okay fucking great.

Give me the button I will hurl this shit garbage earth into the sun.

>> No.16414058

an interesting thread destroyed by self-centered assholes.

>> No.16414155

>>16412512
>turn every piece of light and beauty in your life into a commodity
cringe and bugpilled

>> No.16414504

>>16411725
I'm confused, couldn't he just do oral and written storytelling? Why can he only speak about a story?

>> No.16414517

>>16412597
>>16412721
Coping and Delusional

>> No.16414544

>>16413431
>The only people I've ever met who truly appreciate the plight of the natives are fascists and "racists", who can actually see them as a people and understand how badly they have been raped by white colonialism.
What fascist or racist thinks like this? Eveyone I've seen uses native americans as justification to be racist/fascist and usually justify white colonization with some "MIGHT IS RIGHT" creed.

>> No.16414607

>>16413540
>16413540
Based

>> No.16414657

>>16414504
because the idea to write isn't in his head

>> No.16414992

>>16413468
Native to Europe, sure.

>> No.16415035

>>16414544
I sort of get what he means. If you don't believe in the concept of a nation of people having ethnic self-determination, and there being value to their staying separate from others, which liberals clearly do not, then it is hard to even conceptualize what it is that the native americans have lost. To have empathy for their situation requires that you understand emotionally what it is to 'have a people', if you have been brainwashed to think it is evil for you to do so for yourself how are you going to get it at all? At most they must think that the Natives need a people, whereas they, the atomized, enlightened White liberal, does not, is fine living in a post-ethnic melting pot where any ancestral culture disappears, which is to place the two into separate categories of humanity. You see this with Black Nationalism as well where the Malcolm X types end up sort of agreeing with White Nationalists about segregation, evne though the two characterize the nature of the black-white conflict in opposite ways.

I don't think the majority of fascist types really do have that much empathy for natives though. I think practically nobody does tbqh.

>> No.16415045

>>16412965
Nice

>> No.16415416

>>16413556
The mob don't dictate shit around these parts.
Sorry you can't think for yourself.

>> No.16415627

Damn and his was such an enjoyable thread too

>> No.16415654

>>16411799
Get him to record it and start a youtube channel. Oral storytelling is the past AND the future.

>> No.16415717

>>16413550
American Native, fucking mong

>> No.16416384

whities coping about the fact that native BVLLS have SOVL