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/lit/ - Literature

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15930994 No.15930994 [Reply] [Original]

Are there any drugs you've found enhance the enjoyment you get from reading? I'm pretty much completely anhedonic at this point. The only thing that allows me to feel is weed, which is more conducive to passive rather than active tasks (say, watching a film over reading a book). I just wanna enjoy stuff again.

>> No.15931014

>>15930994
If you're anhedonic you should get therapy anon

>> No.15931038

>>15931014
What's therapy gonna do? I'm fairly certain it's down to a chemical fuckup in my brain because I noticed the change overnight. It happened just over a year ago and weirdly enough I instantly knew (or felt I knew) that it was permanent shift.

>> No.15931043

Yeah you're smoking indica strains it's for braindead hedonists. Smoke sativa strains, get cerebral and energized. I smoke sativa heavy hybrids and I read a lot.

>> No.15931141

>>15931038
>>15931038
>What's therapy gonna do? I'm fairly certain it's down to a chemical fuckup in my brain because I noticed the change overnight.
yeah, find someone who really knows this shit and have them examine you, it's your quality of life, take it seriously, self-diagnosing and self-medicating with drugs have never worked even for the smartest

>> No.15931167

>>15930994
If the only thing that lets you feel is weed, you're smoking too much. If you wanna hack your brain real quick do a ton of shrooms

>> No.15931199

>>15930994
cocaine

>> No.15931219

Another anhedonic anon here -- how in unholy hell are you able to only enjoy weed? I can't help but tear into people whenever on it, and it tends to make my pleasureless moods even worse.

>> No.15931221

>>15931038
>I instantly knew (or felt I knew) that it was permanent shift.
get therapy anon

>> No.15931230

>>15930994
Nictotine and only nicotine.

>> No.15931244

Microdosing meth yes

>> No.15931245

>>15931038

Are you shitting me?
>Something made me entirely unable to experience joy so I immediately self-diagnosed it as irreversible and never sought help for it

You're retarded mate

>> No.15931376

>>15930994
1-2g of truffles then read

or do a big (12-18g)dose and you'll start to enjoy everything more a month or so later

>> No.15931406

>>15930994
I had the weed block thing where i didnt enjoy anything when not high, stopped after not smoking for 2-3 weeks, then did excersise and eating healthy, feel a lot better and feel better on sober days than i did when i was high, try it. You can still smoke it up like 2-3 times per month, but you wont really want to. Once in a while its great.

>> No.15931492

>>15931199
Intravenously

>> No.15931503

>>15930994
Nicotine and caffeine both enhance cognitive function. Weed just makes you retarded. Stop smoking it. No wonder you're so fucked up that you're anhedonic. Weed is probably the most surreptitiously fucked up drug there is. Everyone thinks that it's harmless but I've seen it fuck tons of people up bad. Just quit. Drink black coffee, exercise often, eat a decent diet, sleep well, enjoy nicotine if you want, and you should feel better.

>> No.15931607

>>15930994
idk why lit always makes me say this but

K R A T O M

>> No.15931624
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15931624

>>15930994
After reading your posts, I'd recommend microdosing LSD. (and I MEAN microdosing, not tripping!)

You sound like you've become numb and your synapses are probably clogged with all kinds of accumulated gunk. Honestly the first thing you should do if you haven't already is go running 2 or 3 times a week and some push ups/crunches. You need to flush your brain and no drug will do that for you. When you're clear headed again, try microdosing. It basically opens up all the pathways of your brain and lets all cognitive reception communicate freely. You'll feel like (You) again.

>>15931503
Good goy. The 'people you know' have probably abused it like most people tend to do. Drugs are rudimentary medicines and each one has a purpose and benefit when used responsibly. The real problem is humans behaving mindlessly and not knowing their limits.

>> No.15931632

>>15931376
>truffles
the poop?

>> No.15931637

>>15931624
>your synapses are probably clogged with all kinds of accumulated gunk
Not how it works

>> No.15931644

>>15931624
Well, no shit, if you smoke weed a few times a year, it's not going to mess you up too badly. But if you smoke it recreationally, yeah. Even weekly will make you stupider pretty quickly. Daily and you're basically a fucking zombie with no soul.

>> No.15931767

>>15930994
Try going sober for a bit and see if the anhedonia goes away.

>> No.15931794

>>15930994
adderall, but not so much that you're tweaking out

>> No.15931837

>>15930994
Dopamine, my man. Try to be more conscientious of the amount of time you spend on your phone and try abstaining from weed for like a week. By no means am I saying this will cure your anhedonia, but must try it out and see how it feels.

>> No.15931848

>>15931637
it was a metaphor bro
>>15931644
I wouldn't smoke at all and instead infuse to oils. Much better cost/effect ratio, no harmful side effects and more precise dosing.

>> No.15931871

>>15930994
sauce?

>> No.15931921

>>15930994

"Katy, this is our new student, Anon. He uh, what do you study again?"
"I-I uh, uh I study philosophy. Well sort of, it's more like anthropology. I study languages and I like to see how we ca-"
"Yeah so he's a total nerd. But he's cute, right?"

Katy looked at the boy standing in front of her. Black hood, bad old trainers, and blue jeans, on his first day at school: it was like American high school all over again for him, she thought. This boy, because even though he was probably 18 or 19, he still dressed and talked like a shy teenager, had come all the way to the Netherlands to study something he didn't even know the name of: that's how disorganized he was. She saw a little bit of herself in him. Just a little.

Regardless of how weird he was, she couldn't mind it. The international students office always put students of the same country in the same advising cohort, and it just so happened that he was the only anthropology student from America this year. It was kind of a relief, considering she'd always wanted to have an advisee to help out with school. But just her and Anon, two funny Americans stuck at the Art Institute of The Hague; her, the social butterfly of the class who knew her way up and around the fun artsy cliques and "philosophy" study clubs that just read Deleuze high before rolling moly sometime in the early morning in the deep underground house scene, moonlighting as a capable young academic from LA, and him, the guy who probably just came to the Netherlands because he couldn't get into school and had no friends, this, she thought, was a winning combination. Probably just didn't want to admit to his parents that community college was the right choice. She looked into his eyes and scanned him up and down again, watching as he averted his eyes and stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets. But maybe, she imagined, there was potential. Maybe.

He was kind of cute, she thought.

"Anon, what are you doing right now?" She asked, her friend already leaving them to it, "Wanna get some coffee?"

As he looked at her wide smile, he blushed, watching the warm colors of the atrium fill out the rosy high parts of her cheeks. Big eyes, a big brown jacket, and, well, social skills. He was lost, and she knew it. He just kept getting cuter.

For some reason, she liked him more because he was "lost." It just made him more dependent on her, right here, and right now. She liked lost boys like Anon, and she took his arm as he mumbled affirmation to her question.

"Come on," she said, "I've gotta introduce you to the best place around here. We'll go here every day before school, if you want. It can get lonely here all alone," she said, squeezing his arm and leading him down the hallway, "That's how it is in the big city. The big euro city, ya know. Stay close, OK?"

>> No.15932021

Thanks for the responses all, will get round to reading them in a bit. I should probably have clarified something in the OP: I don't smoke weed all that often, though it varies. There will be some weeks when I'm smoking three or four days in a row, and some months where I don't smoke at all. It's definitely not something I'm reliant on.

>> No.15932063

couple beers desu

>> No.15932229

>>15931921
>ryangosling.jpg

>> No.15932373

>>15930994
Who thot?

>> No.15932404

>>15931921
i laughed out loud while turning my head to the ceiling, thanks anon

>> No.15932491

>>15930994
cigarettes and coffee

>> No.15932538

>>15931167
>If you wanna hack your brain real quick do a ton of shrooms
True but keep it to yourself.

>> No.15932585

>>15931921
>The Hague
>big city
kek, didn't know American cities were so small. Cute story, though I have yet to see a single cute American twink in The Hague.

>> No.15932605

>>15930994
Low doses of opiates (don't get addicted like some retards) makes it fun and engaging, and not a chore like uppers would have you. I also use high dose psychedlics to reflect on philosophical literature, usually mushrooms or dmt. Pretty neat.

>> No.15932628

>>15930994
I keep coming back to this thread because of the qt. I don't care about the topic.

fuck you OP, source?

>> No.15932629

>>15931376
The letters move too much, what do?

>> No.15932646

>>15931043
personally don't know much about strains so i asked a friend, have been informed that we smoke mostly sativa.
>>15931167
>>15931406
>>15931644
>>15931767
>>15931837
>>15931503
>>15931767
i really don't smoke (or drink) all that much. i don't think my weed consumption has a major effect either way but i'll take what's being said on board.
>>15931199
>>15931244
not sure if joking but i don't feel comfortable doing either of these, at least not right now.
>>15931219
i dunno, i guess it turns my brain "on" and makes me receptive to things. when high i'm actually able to respond to e.g. a film's story both intellectually and emotionally, which isn't the case when sober. it also throws into sharp relief how screwed my life is, sometimes leading to painful introspection - so not an entirely rosy experience.
>>15931376
>>15931624
i've planned on microdosing for a while now. could you elaborate on what it's like? LSD/mushrooms/ketamine sound like my only lifeline (other than therapy which others mentioned)
>>15931871
>>15932373
it's from one of those youtube channels where they take to the streets and tell random passers-by that they're beautiful and then record their reactions. i can't pinpoint the actual source but she's european (i wanna say french of dutch, but that's a stab in the dark) if that's any help.

>> No.15932702

>>15930994
I smoked a shitton of weed in my last two years of high school and it was like I had turned my life into an abstraction. I didn't really feel like a person anymore. I was just braindead, just floating through school and exerting the absolute minimum amount of effort I could to keep getting straight As. Over the past 5 months, though, I've regained like a mental acuity that I haven't felt in so long, a sharpness that I thought I had lost forever. I'm reading more, I'm writing, I've gotten into investing, I'm taking a calculus course to study up for econ. My deferral request got rejected two days ago, and yesterday I talked the vice president and dean of admissions into giving me a gap year, who said it was extremely rare for decisions to be overturned like this. I plan to make the absolute most of my gap year: continuing to do the stuff i mentioned, taking classes and courses about stuff that interests me, getting past second base with a girl (I had genuine chances this year but I fucked it up by overthinking it and waiting too long). I WILL be a man of action and I WILL fuck the cute asian chick I've been talking to. A lot of my friends are completely unaffected by weed and it's this really chill thing for them, but idk man it doesn't help me at all. I've tried all different kinds and methods of ingestion. And reading fucking sucks when I'm high, by the way.

>> No.15932742

>>15932702
> I WILL fuck the cute asian chick I've been talking to

dropped, cringe, ngmi.

>> No.15932762

to those asking for the source: it comes from this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZP6uJtgM34)) though it looks like this particular girl's clip has since been removed. her name is irene and she's from portugal. if you type something like "people react to being called beautiful irene portugal" into google you'll get a number of gifs and screenshots. the wayback machine doesn't throw up much but i'm not very tech-savvy and can't be bothered trawling through 67 captures so idk maybe the original vid is out there somewhere

>> No.15932784

>>15931141
>>15931221
>>15931245
Get a load of these faggot bugmen, thinking everyone has a right to pleasure. Must be Amerifats.

>> No.15932850

>>15932784
In 2020 you certainly do. Just need to find the right doctor.

Otherwise you’ve gotta do it on your own, and that can be one hell of a miserable experience.

>> No.15932873

>>15932850
what even is therapy? how does it differ from psychiatry?

>> No.15932939

>>15932873
Is not knowing this an American thing? I see it a lot on /lit/. Therapy is talking with a licensed psychologist for the purpouses of venting to someone who won't be stressed by your depressive thoughts and can help you with coping strategies. Psychiatry is the medical treatment of mental illness by (witch)doctors through the use of medication and occasionally more experimental treatments like ECT. Presuming you're OP, you do not need psychiatry, you want therapy, psychiatry can only serve to fuck you up further.

>> No.15933208

>>15932646
This is the first image of a girl in months that hasnt made me disgusted or angry.

Thanks.

>> No.15933218

>>15932850
Emulate Job.

>> No.15933290

>>15931376
Did 8g and was terrified but Returned to normal again. I’d feel like that much would turn a man schizo

>> No.15933310

>>15931607
ew no.

>> No.15933319

>>15932939
>Is not knowing this an American thing? I see it a lot on /lit/.
No but I am British so it's maybe an Anglosphere thing.
>Therapy is talking with a licensed psychologist for the purpouses of venting to someone who won't be stressed by your depressive thoughts and can help you with coping strategies.
How could this possibly work? Sounds absurd but I remain open minded.
Also in my case it's not that I feel crushingly depressed. It's more the fact that I don't derive pleasure from things that I once did. I appreciate that this is a symptom of depression but my point is that I'm not so down that I feel the urge to vent.
>Psychiatry is the medical treatment of mental illness
Are you personally opposed to psychiatry or do you just believe it's unsuited to my particular situation?

>> No.15933385

>>15932646
>i've planned on microdosing for a while now. could you elaborate on what it's like? LSD/mushrooms/ketamine sound like my only lifeline
I only have microdosing experience with LSD and it is extremely positive. It basically removes the omnipresent mental fatigue that drags you down and demotivates you. It's not a high. It basically returns your mental status to 'who you really are'. You will still have the same outlook on everything but instead of problems weighing you down, you can look at them more objectively which helps to build ways around them. It also makes you slow down, have more patience, while at the same time being more alert and appreciative of things. I found it very pleasant to hike in the woods and enjoy nature. Also socializing is improved. People definitely notice my elevated mood, talk-activeness and fast cognition ability compared to my usual slow self. Just keep in mind to start small. between 5 and 10ug is enough for the effects. Always take at least 2 days break between doses. If you accidentally dose a bit too high, it shouldn't be a problem really. (I overdid it once and noticed how my desk started to 'breathe' kek) I suggest you give it a try. Honestly this should be a widely available medicine for people all over the world.

>mushrooms
I only have excessive tripping experiences with that many years ago so no idea. But people say it works similarly to LSD.

>ketamine
Never microdosed it, but judging from the effects, I can imagine it putting you in a relaxed, calm mood. At higher doses it's like being shitfaced drunk, except you're 100% clear headed in your mind. I found that I absolutely love listening to music on it, like old David Bowie stuff. Just keep in mind that ketamine, while mostly harmless, can have side effects if used excessively over long periods of time so I wouldn't make it a regular thing and take long brakes between.

>> No.15933434
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15933434

>>15931921
Can I get more of this? I love assertive/spunky girls with shy guys

>> No.15934434

>>15933434

I also want the sources of this. Go Portugal

>> No.15934736

>>15933434
>Portuguese
Dropped

>> No.15934947

>>15933385
lmfao you are not clear headed on high doses of ketamine. maybe on lower doses

>> No.15935125

>drugs enjoyable therefore must open borders and let 6 year olds transition by punching a hole in their flesh where their penis should be

>> No.15935622

>>15933319
>How could this possibly work?
The most important part of therapy is the client-therapist relationship. As you become more comfortable with the therapist they will increasingly probe you with questions and statements you haven't considered before so that you may gain some insight into your condition. They will generally also help you to consider forming new positive behaviours to improve your condition, and removing negative behaviours that you may realise contribute to your anhedonia from any insight gained. Furthermore you'll gain insight into thought patterns that detract from your quality of life, and can discuss how to enact more positive thought patterns. I'm making it sound more formal tham it is here, but those are the areas most therapists will focus on. Also, being British there's no harm in trying it out since you've got a free healthcare system (for now).
>Are you personally opposed to psychiatry or do you just believe it's unsuited to my particular situation?
Both. Psychiatrists can be very trigger-happy with giving diagnoses and prescribing drugs, and the last thing you want in a state of anhedonia is to be prescribed any more drugs, especially given that many anti-depressents are reported to produce anhedonia in individuals. Whatever you do, best of luck anon, I hope you find happiness.

>> No.15935643

>>15931014
anhedonia is the one aspect of depression that's most resistant to any form of therapy

>> No.15935666

>>15931038
let's pretend you're right, that's exactly what therapy is for since a good therapist is also a psychiatrist and can treat a structural lack of dopamine with drugs while he treats the psychological aspect with psychotherapy

>> No.15935672

>>15932628
Irene from portugal

>> No.15935687

>>15932628
in today's episode anon discovers the beauty of med girls, I'll see you in the threads on /int/

>> No.15935704

>>15930994

That's the beginning of a depression, talk to a therapist or see your life disgregate in front of you.

Trust me, I know.

>> No.15935710
File: 13 KB, 657x527, Apu.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15935710

>tfw anhedonic
>havent felt happiness in a decade
>been to multiple psychiatrists and institutions and tried various drugs
>Nothing helps

>> No.15935853

>>15935704
This. The sooner you go the better, and stay away from antidepressants if you can, happiness is much better when naturally produced

>> No.15936138

>>15933385
Many thanks anon. I shall look into it. Virtually all of my friends went through a phase earlier this year where they were tripping on LSD semi-regularly, to the point where where it was probably dangerous. I've made clear that I don't plan to join them but that I'm open to microdosing and maybe at a push half-dosing.
I feel like I could only handle it's cognitive effects once my life is sorted out and I'm in a good headspace - but at the same time, I don't think that's achievable without the aid of some kind of intervention (e.g. microdosing).

>> No.15936156

>>15931038
if you wanna change
>therapy and small dose psychedelics.
if you don't feel like changing but just wanna have a good time
>weed + Ritalin/Adderal

>> No.15936180

>>15936156
What's your experience with both?

>> No.15936190

>>15935710
not even psychedelics?

>> No.15936198

>>15936190
Illegal where im from

>> No.15936218

>>15932646
>>15930994
Don't group ketamine with mushrooms and LSD, ketamine is retarded and no one should do it.

Get therapy first but use mushroom/truffles whenever you feel you're going uphill.

Micro dosing can work if you do it properly but make sure you cycle off and all that shit.

>> No.15936222

>>15931038

Chemical "fuckups" are an oversimplified view of the whole issue, this leads to various misunderstandings of how the brain works and interprets things.
This is not /adv/ but I think it might be useful to share what I've learned from years of therapy and dealing with depression:

Your feelings come from the interaction between internal chemical processes and the chemical reactions your brain engages when you deal with the external world, this is pretty intuitive.
Now the thing is, your brain will produce a certain kind of response to external stimuli, this response might not be adequate and you won't cope adequately with the world.
The whole issue of doing therapy is trying to understand what you are doing wrong (because you are and if you think you don't you're delusional), why you are doing it this way (sometimes you know, sometimes you don't, sometimes you are executing things which you have been borough to think were good by people who were not doing OK and you/them didn't realize it).
When you recognize these things which are not working and make your life miserable, then you start to change them in a tolerable and sustainable way, this is a delicate process which requires help, time and patience.

Those who deny these things either never had any issue so grave and it scares the shut out of them or are in denial.

Seek help OP, no book can unfuck depression

>> No.15936320

>>15935710
Anhedonia truly is the ultimate evil in depression

>> No.15936338

>>15935666
Okay satan

>> No.15936350

>>15930994
You're a porn addict, a weed addict, you have a weak mind and you're probably addicted to junk food.

>I HAVEN'T EXERCISED MY MENTAL FACULTIES SINCE 16 AND ALL I DO IS SMOKE WEED, BEAT OFF, PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND EAT; WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT?

>> No.15937233

>>15935687

Rly? Int js usually trash

>> No.15937289

>>15936218
>make sure you cycle off and all that shit.
Elaborate pls

>> No.15937408
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15937408

I like doing low doses of DXM for my depression, but it's fucking expensive to import the good shit from America. Other than that, kratom helps me get over the constant anxiety that plagues me, especially social anxiety.

>> No.15937601

>>15931921
you write like a YA author

>> No.15938990

>>15937408
dxm? whats that like

>> No.15939106

>>15936180
bursting with ideas and also having the energy to write them
also reading a lot while imagining every detail
>the trick is not to spend 6 hours masturbating furiously
>>15936198
>should I save my life by staring directly at the glory of god
>no I can't, government man said it's not allowed

>> No.15939409

>>15934736
Brazilian/Spanish hands typed this

>> No.15939416

>>15930994
I love her

>> No.15939515

>>15939409
actually, no... but I regret that post, I kept returning to this thread and went thru /int/ archives to find more pics of her...

>> No.15939693

>>15937601

:(

>> No.15939713

>>15930994
God

>> No.15939754

>>15938990
>DXM
Horrible I don't recommend. It takes you to a strange alien place and leaves you with disassociative feelings and strange thoughts. Everything seems hostile, you feel powerful yet weak, and everything seems to be watching.

>> No.15939822

>>15931244
John McCaffe has entered the thread

>> No.15939866
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15939866

I'm amused at how modern people are reliant on drugs and substances. Don't feel happy all the time? Take some prozac. Life being too repetitive and in need of a jolt? Pop an LSD. Want to enhance your reading and comprehension abilities? Psychedelics might help.
Why take a long and laborious way of self-growth when you can take a hit and feel rewarded almost instantly without any toil of earning your joy?
Mind my words, narcotics are going to be the end of human race. Ancient cultures knew of its dangers and therefore made it a part of religious ceremony, only using it during rituals.
The moment a drug with no health shortcomings will be designed our civilization will crumble.

>> No.15939873

>>15932784
>Get a load of these faggot bugmen, thinking everyone has a right to pleasure. Must be Amerifats.
what is your point dumbass, if you even have one and you didn't just feel the need to broadcast your idiocy?

>> No.15939923

>>15935643
that's unsettling

>> No.15939941

>>15931376
>reading while tripping
that aint gonna work

>> No.15939948

>>15931607
more like jenkum LMAO

>> No.15939971

how do i find and marry this woman?

>> No.15940042

>>15939971
Real talk

>> No.15940055

>>15931607
>3rd world pleb tier non opiates
No.

>> No.15940890
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15940890

>>15939866
I see your point and it could be true, but from my experience it very much depends on the user base. Not too long ago I was FUCKED, like really badly fatigued to a point where I only got up to eat, write a page for my work, and got back to bed. It took all my strength to commute back and forth and I was just a mess waiting to implode if it wasn't for my family's support. Microdosing LSD has literally saved my life. Yes sure, I could have gone like this for the rest of my sad life, but now I feel great. I also noticed how I feel like doing it less and less. Like it's slowly fading away from me, but it's always there to fall back on in case I need it again. It made me reconnect with my family and friends. I'm productive like never before and still have energy left for a few hobbies sometimes. The fact that this substance is something that could get you imprisoned or killed by 'government'-thugs while drinking literal solvents and inhaling ashes and tar is considered normal is testament to a horrible system we created. I'm not reliant on it at all. But it's a 100% quality of life improvement to know that it's there and it makes me sad knowing that this could do the same for millions of people who have much more severe issues than me. I fully believe Robin Williams could have been saved this way.

>> No.15941190

>>15939106
You're referring to your experience with weed and ritalin, right? Do you have experience with therapy and microdosing?

>> No.15941215

>>15940890
Massively needed whitepill there. Could you please elaborate? What was your dosage, how frequently did you "trip", what were the initial effects and how long did it take for you to notice them etc etc?