Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.15300481]

[Anonymous No.15300511]

>>15300481
Hero or muck; my life seems to heading towards to the latter. Time to an hero

[Anonymous No.15300537]

i was just chilling with this horse, scartching him, in the hours of faintest early sunset, and for a moment my inner dialogue became so quiet i could hear the grass drinking the rainwater - crisply and surely behind the chirping of unseen birds, a dog barking somewhere, our stablehand shepherding the sheep.
i heard the grass live.

[Anonymous No.15300547]

I'm not even mad at her because I'm a boring whiny loser, but she should've at least been clear with me and leaving me all of a sudden with no warning was shocking as I thought she was the last person who would do something like that to me after all those times we talked about how much we loved each other and how much we meant to each other, I don't blame her I guess because I feel like I have nothing to offer and she has better people in her life but I can't help but feel cucked now and realize how I had been played. I'm not turning into a woman hating incel tho, I've just lost my faith in women because I don't think there will be anyone else better than her, I will never give my heart to a woman and never set high expectations with her

[Anonymous No.15300619]

>>15300481
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\/\/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\AAAAVAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAA/\/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\\\\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\/\/\/\/\/\/\AAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA//\/^^AAAAAAAAA\\\/AAAAAVAAAA^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/AAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA^^^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAAAA/AAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAA\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA^AAAAAAAA^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\/\/\AAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAA/AAAA/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\/\/\/\/\AAAAAAAAAAAAA^AAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAAAAAAA/AAAAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAAAAVAAAA\AAAAAAA^AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAVAAAAAAAAA/\/\AAA/\AA/AAAAAAAAA/\AAAAA^AAAAAA/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\AAAAAAAAAA/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/\^AAAA/\/\A/AA\AAAAAA/AAAA^AAAA\AAA/\/\/\/\AAAA/\A/AA/AAAA^AAAAAA^AA/\/\/\/\A^^^^AAAA\AA^A/\/\/\AAAAAAA/AA/\/\/\A/AAAAA/AAAAA/AAAAAAA/AAA^^^AAAAAAAAAAAA/\AAAA/\/\AAAAAAAAA/\^AAAA/\AA/\A/\AAA/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\A/\/\A/\/\/\/\/\W/\/\/\/\/\/\MAA/\AA/\A/\/\^^AAAAAA^AAAAA/\^^AA/\/\/\/\AAA^^^/AA/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\A^^^^AAA/AA/\/\/\^^^^^/\A/AA^^/AAA/\/\/\/\/^\/\/\/\AA^\!!!!!!|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

[Anonymous No.15300621]

horse anon thought of the day
being is beautiful

[Anonymous No.15300632]

“Put it in my butt” she said. And I did.
The next morning we had coffee on the baranda and the wind was blow a warm breeze and the music from the turntable was booming some rap song.
My phone rang and it was phone carrier on the line. They suggested I let six new phone lines for the price of four. He explained how much and improvement this would be to my monthly savings and giving four other people in my family the ability to own one of their own phones. But then, behind his words, I thought myself, ‘would I have to buy them phones too? Who the hell does this guy take me for?’
“Who are you talking to” she said in a high pitched, almost nagging voice. I just hung up and realized that in the time between seeing her and her saying that I became very depressed.

[Anonymous No.15300644]

Been reading Plato, and thought about something when reconciling with Euthyphro and The Republic

What makes the just, just? Socrates actually doesn't really answer it in The Republic, Thrasymachus and Polemarchus just say that it is either might makes right or being good to friends and evil to enemies. All Socrates says is that it is to your advantage to be just, and otherwise with being unjust. He then goes on Thrasymarchus argument that it is benefital to do just no matter what, which I can agree on. Socrates argument is that the just puts the soul in its right place, so that it is virtoustic.

However, what makes the just, just? Is those things that makes you virtous just? Or are things just in themselves and it is also happens to make you virtous?

[Anonymous No.15300664]

What does the prisoner do, who knows, that he is imprisoned for the rest of his life? Does he accept the prison and kill the part of himself that wants to be free to become free in his own mind or does he try to escape but fail inevitably over and over again to maintain the illusion of potential freedom? Which option is the one, that is more free?

[Anonymous No.15300671]

>>15300481
You have chosen this picture to mock me
t. Anon from last thread that got deleted

[Anonymous No.15300719]

>>15300671
i just love this niche genre

[Anonymous No.15300730]

I just think if I had fuck you money, I would design a room with the toilet in the middle of it. The room is actually quite big, like you could ride a bike in it. There would be no place to put the toilet paper so it would have to come out of the ceiling on a string. I don't want it to just hang in there so you would have to clap a few times to call it.
Now I just imagine how all of that would sound from the outside. Somebody takes a shit and starts clapping.
*blump
*clap clap clap

[None !SWEEZYguAc No.15300734]

While I was surprised at your continued attempts to contact me, I cannot say it is a surprise I would characterize as any way welcomed. I understand that there are actions for which you feel that an apology is owed to me in the interest of reconciling the years that now separate us. As a courtesy to you, I will inform you that I have cultivated a life for myself that does not accomadate a space for you in it, lest these efforts continue to be wasted.
I have made peace with the pain and emotional trauma you've caused me and my family. I've moved along and consider myself immeasurably blessed to have reached a place where I genuinely content to stay.
Please do not give your reply, I will not be listening.

[Anonymous No.15300741]

>>15300481
EEEEEEEEE DID A TELL YEEEE ABOOT ME ANTI FLORA, DID I TELL EEEEEEE BY ECK AS LIKE, DID I TELL YEEE ABOOT ME ANTI FLORA OOO SHAT ERSEL FAE FREE HOURS WUNCE

[Anonymous No.15300853]

>>15300664
i really don't see a point in life sentence. prison in general is a vile and deeply flawed institution, harmful for both the imprisoned and the citizens.

frankly, i would kill myself if faced with such a choice.

[Anonymous No.15300868]

>>15300632
Meanwhile across town my mother was buying my grandfather prescription pills for arthritis. The pharmacist is my ex girlfriend. So I asked my mom to make sure to wear sunglasses and a hat so that she doesn’t recognize you. My mother became very angry and started yelling at me and saying a lot of nasty things about some of the things I’ve been doing lately and generally being “a shadow my son”. Whatever. So I had to pick up the pills myself. So I’m waiting in line and my ex girlfriend recognizes me and we chat and I see that she’s looking very attractive and I try to have her sell me some narcotics. But she was like that is illegal and that what I’m doing could get me into big trouble. Not what I was expecting. All of a sudden this random woman shows up in sunglasses, face mask and hat, realize it’s my mom. My phone rings and it’s my phone carrier again, this time saying I’m past due on my phone bill. Out of nowhere tell me why my ex girlfriend pharmacist begins scowling me and saying a lot of nasty things about i need to grow up and I swear to god she used the words “a shadow my friend”. I didn’t realize this until I had driven across town and dropped off the prescription pills. So that was Monday.

[Anonymous No.15300880]

Since the corona outbreak I'm often looking outside the apartment window and I'm not sure what is different when I'm looking at the random people who sit on the benches in front of the building. Yesterday there was a pair sitting, first I thought it was some middle age hipsters because one person had white hair and the other one looked kinda goofy. But then it turned out it's an older women and her daughter. The daughter was in her mid thirties, I'm don't want to sound rude but there was clearly something wrong with her the more I looked at her. Anyway someone passed by them leading a small dog and the two sitting were following the dog with a happy expression on their face. But you know that feeling when you smile out of courtesy then your smile just stays on your face slowly morphs into something vile as your real emotional state comes back to your face? They were doing that, but why? Who were they showing courtesy to? The dog? Did they know I was watching them? And today on that same bench there were two guys sitting and having a conversation. Because of the L shaped bench they both had their back turned to from where I was looking at. Everyone looks so secretive.

[Anonymous No.15300888]

I switched from reading to reading an imageboard about reading ahahahaha

[Anonymous No.15300899]

>>15300730
holy based
now i want a short story by you showing me a house you built on unrestricted budget

[Anonymous No.15300948]

I've decided to change my major from film to philosophy going into second year. I seem to have a natural aptitude for it and I enjoy it but who knows.

[Anonymous No.15300970]

>>15300880
>But you know that feeling when you smile out of courtesy then your smile just stays on your face slowly morphs into something vile as your real emotional state comes back to your face?
on your mind threads are where the real litcore writing is. this man should start a diary

[Anonymous No.15300981]

how i feel praising others' posts because i know they will remain (You)less, but feel like they are worthy of recognition

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15301059]

Anger may reflect/be rooted in, either: fury, or hatred.

Lately I have confirmed for myself that, taking personal circumstances into account, there will always be a fundamental difference in depth of comprehension of fury - in oneself, and in others - between one who has the constant physical and/or psykhical luxury of idealizing - and preserving oneself for - finality, and one who has the constant physical and/or psykhical misery of having to walk with unresolved anger, no matter how much he/she may mundanely sublimate it, or overcome it; this also translates into one's artistical expression & taste.

Ultimately, all sublimated perspectives are directed toward the fullness of the Orb.

[Anonymous No.15301599]

>>15300481
I don't know why he just suddenly stopped being affectionate and got so distant, I wish he had just talked to me. I still really love him but it was unfair to put me in a position where I was begging for crumbs of love and affection when I was willing to give so much. It got so one-sided and it really broke me to end things but I had to do it for my self-respect. I also don't understand why it is that the moment I break things off suddenly he starts being a fag and posting about being heartbroken and all this poetic nonsense when he would ignore me for days and refuse to try and talk things out, especially during quarantine. It's not like he was busy. I don't understand.

[Anonymous No.15301660]

The tv board moves way too fast.

[Anonymous No.15302219]

>>15300537
god damn, i wish my inner dialogue would stfu long enough to experience that. shit is so annoying

[Anonymous No.15302382]

>>15301059
youre the latter im guessing

[Anonymous No.15302583]

>>15302219
just observe the nature bro

[Anonymous No.15302602]

>>15300981
>rainbow

[Anonymous No.15302612]

>>15301599
quarantine affects people's minds. that contributes some reason to the distance.

[Anonymous No.15302618]

>>15302602
not that OP, but i love "favorite word" threads. im somewhat synesthetic and some words just feel great
t. schizoposter

[Anonymous No.15302638]

I'm trying to work up the energy to check my phone, where I will find either her trying to fight me still, or nothing at all, both equally bad.

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15302644]

>>15302382
>>15302382
No; I am in the middle - lacking the former, but being acquainted enough with the latter to know to never fall into it.

[Anonymous No.15302670]

>>15302638
i wish these threads were less "bros i miss her" "blogpost about approaching a chick" "peepee poopoo im so miserable girls wont fuck me" and more daily obsrvations, long-winded thought an schizoposting.
no offense to you in particular, but this relationship related stuff is cringe as fuck, weak and boring

[Anonymous No.15302674]

>>15300621
I wish I lived where you live

[Anonymous No.15302690]

>>15302670
Not that anon, but to be fair the title of the thread is "write what's on your mind," not "write something interesting."

[Anonymous No.15302693]

>>15302670
why waste the good shit on /lit/?

[Anonymous No.15302697]

Contemporary and modern poets and philosophers attempting to replicate the notions and viewpoints of old with metaphor and pretense are beginning to seem more and more as egotistical narcissists than actual literary minds to me, and I have grown to despise them with a borderline fervorous zeal. I've found more literary value in reading Superfudge than a single "work" found in Thus Spake the Corpse. If I were to ever become a mass shooter, I would enter a writing club, learn the names of every single one of these pretentious fucks, and kneecap them all in a house before lighting it on fire.

[Anonymous No.15302715]

>>15302674
it's a regular bumfuck suburb. you'll be amazed at how solemn and joyful the nature is just some 20mins walking distance from the closest multi-story buildings.
beauty is in your perception, and always within your reach.

[Anonymous No.15302721]

>>15302697
I think this anon is retarded. To be frank, I know this anon is retarded, but I must pretend it’s only an opinion.

[Anonymous No.15302728]

>>15302690
that's fair. it's not that i want these posters to shut up - i want them to stop thinking about this shit.
to be mindful of what's on their mind.

[Anonymous No.15302743]

>>15302715
This. Yesterday I kept walking from my apartment complex and I found this beautiful neighborhood that seems like it is stuck in time, back in the 50s or 60s. The houses are of an old construction and every one is structurally very different, as if they were improvised. There were hardly any fences, no sidewalk, and the whole neighborhood was below a canopy of tall trees. I was strucked.

[Anonymous No.15302770]

I'm writing a novel in which one of my main characters is a very pretty, popular girl in school. I've mostly avoided directly showing this aspect of her because she has friends who are NOT like this and she's mostly been in their company so far in the story. But I've got a part of the story coming up where I'm going to need to depict her at her full alpha bitch power level. Obviously this has been very far removed from my own experiences (especially because I'm not a girl). So I'm trying to do some research on how Stacys behave in their natural habitat.

[Anonymous No.15302838]

>>15302770

[Anonymous No.15302844]

>>15302697
>I've found more literary value in reading Superfudge than a single "work" found in Thus Spake the Corpse.
Based.

[Anonymous No.15302914]

>>15302770
Unironically when I was 19 I decided I wanted to be less of an awkward sperg, so I started hanging out at the food court at the mall. I didn't talk to anyone, I just bought food and sat there for like 2-3 hours, watching normies and trying to figure out how they did things; what they wore, how they interacted with each other, how they walked, ate, etc. In the end I don't think I ever became any less awkward (though I did learn how to dress better). However, I found that the same observation technique is useful for writing.

If that's too weird for you it's also perfectly acceptable to just pick a character in a book you like that more or less fits the archetype you're going for, and do a study of them. I find I like the way Fitzgerald writes women, although most of his female mains are just based on his crazy-ass wife.

[Anonymous No.15302971]

Today, I am happy to be alive and I hope you are too

[Anonymous No.15302994]

man, i'm a lazy shit.
>thought i would write if only i had time
>corona gives me time
>turns out i'm just a lazy shite
brb kms

[Anonymous No.15303016]

Was Kant an INTP like me?

[Anonymous No.15303104]

>>15302644
well i am the latter. how do i overcome this?

[Anonymous No.15303121]

>>15302971
based. you too.

im reading Immoralist by Gide and i'm very surprised, pleasantly, at how decent and subtle it is. sometimes you just grow tired of crude and explicit books.

[Anonymous No.15303126]

I'm actually not enjoying Moby Dick that much, but I feel I need to finish it because It's such an important book.

[Anonymous No.15303196]

>>15303121
i just read that recently. wasn't overly impressed. lower end of the classics
>dabs on homosexuals in your path
what do?

[Anonymous No.15303397]

>>15302715
Are you that horseanon that lives in Moscow and works out in the country?

[Anonymous No.15303455]

>>15300481
I keep thinking about that girl I almost fucked but then didn't, and how I messed that up, and how she will go on to fuck other men who are not me. And then I hate myself because right now in the world, millions of people are sick, out of work, dead, and dying from the pandemic and I am so selfish that I obsessively nurse my feelings and unfucked cock. I have food, water, shelter, income, and family to rely upon and support. The biological imperative evils the mind and squanders the belssings I have. I wish to rid myself of its importance and be virtuous again.

Self-hatred is a protective measure used to shield our egos. At least that is how people in this place function, I believe.

[Anonymous No.15303482]

>>15303016
Yeah, either that or he was ENTP.

[Anonymous No.15303630]

>>15300481
Currently listening to the NT. Just finished up John, and have a question for some of the more knowledgeable Christians of /lit. How do you reconcile the conflict between prophecy, which seems to presuppose determinism, and free will. Can these two concepts co-exist?

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15303705]

>>15303104
Turn the exhaustive fire of your fury into exaltive Light, by consistently devoting yourself to something excellent that fulfills you, whether this begins with becoming a warrior through selfdiscipline (which is autofulfilling & propulsive), or with selfdisciplined motion toward a greater artistic and/or heroic goal - something that you love, and would love to share; Love impels furious anger under its control, behind the shield of its influence.

The end of martial struggle/excellence is to become yourself via becoming a warrior and/or a Hero - in this consists the exaltation of Spirit, and the glory of overcoming this world.

One's lifestyle conditions one's potential; the choices that one makes, and the actions that one takes, affect the potential to make other choices, and to take other actions; thus, succumbing to ignobility, with entailing spillage of Soul, is, ultimately, due to one's own fault.

[Anonymous No.15303882]

>>15300547
Is this the effects of a Camus novel talking?

[Anonymous No.15303959]

Who else /boomer mode/?
>wake up at 9:30
>email my manager assuring him I’m definitely working on the very important work our very productive and useful company does
>drink some coffee and eat some toast
>make some more coffee, put it in the thermos and jump in the car
>drive around blasting in the aeroplane over the sea and singing along
>come home, work in the garden for a bit
>shitpost on r9k making fun of the depressed zoomers

[Anonymous No.15304024]

What's the music equivalent of Oulipo?

[Anonymous No.15304101]

>>15303882
I've only read a single novella my whole life desu and it was first love by ivan turgenev but now I'll check out camus too

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15304112]

>>15303630
Humans have free election/choice, not free will; free will is original to pure beings of Good, or entities that are become Good, whilst temporal liberty is the most that may be allowed to pure beings of Evil, or entities that are become Evil.

I commend reading "The Book of the Two Principles".

[Anonymous No.15304146]

I've come to realize how accessibility is the most important factor behind our favorite activities and how it plays a huge role in literally everything we do. Making a movie for instance is such a hassle that I can always come up with excuses not to do it. I do not stop ourselves from playing vidya, watching porn etc. simply because it is so easy to do it. The fact that I can do so many things with just a few clicks is reason enough to do it.
Helping the poor would be cool and all, but how can I do that? No idea, so I'm just not gonna do it. Is the simplification of our everyday life via internet accesss, food delivery and voice assistants actually making our lives harder instead of easier simply because other (arguably more important) activites seem like such a hassle now? I wonder how far this will go. We already entered dimensions we couldn't even think of 20 years ago.

[Anonymous No.15304184]

>>15304112
>Humans have free election/choice
Could you explain the difference between free election and free will? My brief google search didn't yield anything of significance.

>I commend reading "The Book of the Two Principles".
I'll look into it. From what I can tell, it seems to be centered around Catharism?

[Anonymous No.15304215]

>>15300481
>what's on your mind
My mind is on the fact that I wish I wasn't an alcoholic.

Your thread might as well have been about whether or not coffee is good for you. Or it could have just been some gore.

[Anonymous No.15304248]

I miss having braces. They looked cool.

[Anonymous No.15304265]

>>15303126
Leave it and come back to it when you are ready.

[Anonymous No.15304278]

>>15303126
I've got a dick you might enjoy.

[Anonymous No.15304297]

Had a weird tarot card reading the other nite. The woman was dead on with some very specific stuff.

I kinda wish Covid was worse. In a couple months were all gonna be back to the same conditions facilitating our joke culture/society.

Chris D'Elia's podcast is good, but his specials are trash.

Just reread Scanner Darkly. Great book. Not too impressed with itself to enjoy the smell of it's own farts.

[Anonymous No.15304300]

I think i'm checking out until this whole quarantine surge blows over. /lit/ has been declining forever, but at the moment it barely recognisable. Half the replies feel completely alien and threads disappear in a few hours now. If this is fait accompli and /lit/ doesn't return to normalcy, i may finally be free. It isn't an exaggeration to say that there isn't a single thread in the catalogue that interests me.

[Anonymous No.15304302]

>>15304300
Get out of here anon. You're too good for this place.

[Anonymous No.15304318]

>>15304300
Plan to do the same, all though not for the same reasons. God speed, anon.

[Anonymous No.15304319]

>>15304300

Leave if you can. Chan isn't good. You getting fed up is a good foundation for taking the ride out.

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15304382]

>>15304184
>Could you explain the difference between free election and free will? My brief google search didn't yield anything of significance.
Free will consists in the capability to act unconditionally; free election consists in the ability to choose to act in concord with, and to be conditioned by, either: Good, or Evil

>I'll look into it. From what I can tell, it seems to be centered around Catharism?
Yes; Catharism is a subdenomination of Christianity.

[Anonymous No.15304480]

>>15304382
>free election consists in the ability to choose to act in concord with, and to be conditioned by, either: Good, or Evil
It kind of just seems like semantics at that point though, no?

So lets take Judas' betrayal of Jesus. According to the gospel, this is "predestined". In John, it goes so far as identifying the perpetrator beforehand, as well as the motives behind said betrayal (i.e., greed). This prophecy (among other prophecies) implies that "x's" choice was set in stone beforehand, regardless of which axiom it rested within (good vs. bad).

>Yes; Catharism is a subdenomination of Christianity.
The more you know. Cool.

[Anonymous No.15304482]

>>15304302
>>15304318
>>15304319
I'll miss you all. I really did have a lot of fun here, and it was you guys that helped me get into reading all those years ago.
But all comes from dust, and all returns to dust in the end, i suppose.

[Anonymous No.15304492]

I’m 27 and I still don’t feel like there’s anything worth doing with my life.

[Anonymous No.15304513]

>>15304482
You deserve better friends than anything anybody here can offer you.

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15304682]

>>15304480
>It kind of just seems like semantics at that point though, no?
If by "semantics" you mean "sophistry", or "obfuscation", then you miscomprehend.

>So lets take Judas' betrayal of Jesus. According to the gospel, this is "predestined". In John, it goes so far as identifying the perpetrator beforehand, as well as the motives behind said betrayal (i.e., greed). This prophecy (among other prophecies) implies that "x's" choice was set in stone beforehand, regardless of which axiom it rested within (good vs. bad).
Judas Iscariot - being one of the only genuine Christians from among Jesus' disciples, beside Mary Magdalene, John, and Thomas - was consciously fulfilling his preassigned task when he betrayed Jesus.

I commend reading the Gospel of Judas.

[Anonymous No.15304850]

>>15304682
>If by "semantics" you mean "sophistry", or "obfuscation", then you miscomprehend.
No. Not particularly. The distinction between free will and free election doesn't seem to make a difference, grand scale wise. Both imply the ability to choose. The latter specifies that it takes place within to extremes; either good or bad (vague terms in and of themselves). The choice, however, still exists.

>Judas Iscariot - being one of the only genuine Christians from among Jesus' disciples, beside Mary Magdalene, John, and Thomas - was consciously fulfilling his preassigned task when he betrayed Jesus.
Ok? This doesn't necessarily marry the concepts of prophecy and free will. If "x" has the ability to consciously follow any preassigned task, they also have the ability to consciously rebel against it.

[Anonymous No.15304924]

time seems to become shorter and days mean less. strangely, ive never felt so powerful in my whole life as these past few weeks. with literature, with writing, with lifting and women - suddenly it all starts to come through.

i wonder when ill burn out like buchner. perhaps an excellent way to go

[Anonymous No.15304937]

Today, I texted my middle school oneitis
>we're both 22

[Anonymous No.15305045]

>>15300880
Do you never just smile at a dog?
Its not necessarily out of courtesy but simply because there is a cute dog to smile at.

[Anonymous No.15305139]

>>15300481
keep thinking im gonna have a heart attack

think its just my guts but still...keeps me up

[Anonymous No.15305144]

>>15305045
Sometimes I bark at dogs.

[Anonymous No.15305170]

I’m not a copy cat, what I’m doing Is slightly different than what you’re doing, on purpose, so that I’m not being a copy cat but my doing of something so specific but so slightly different that it’s obvious I’m doing this on purposes, which is what I want, and then nothing happens and I regret doing this later. It’s a fake joy being a facsimile, at my best I get an ego trip imagining conversations, or possible other regretted “attempts”, other esoterically obvious things that at become increasingly more pathetic as you traverse time in reverse order, especially towards the end. I think I’m probably doing it now, but I’m also really liking writing like this because I never just tried writing something to be a thought with a picture frame kept on it for sometime later while I’m making a post on 4chan. I now think I know how to write about one thing, I should write about this one thing, learn to write a lot and edit it after, and change basically everything to different things built from the original one thing. But really I wish I could write, the thing doing my writing with now isn’t something I’m as good at as I need to be, writing actual story or just some sort of “piece” I think I could’ve been much better at and more fulfilled by. And the conceptual nature I try to create now, with actual writing I could breathe so much more. But I get meta when I talk or write, and my biggest fault with this is I instinctively beat myself down to get approval from others like I’m some uncle tom for my kind, I’m doing it now, I’m doing it now, I’m doing everything I said in this whole post probably here right now, and again, and I’m doing again, here I’m doing it again with this sentence, I’m writing, somebody tell me how to apply this post I just made to write something with except less narcissistic and pathetically creative and more direction to go and add things to?

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15305179]

>>15304850
>The distinction between free will and free election doesn't seem to make a difference, grand scale wise. Both imply the ability to choose. The latter specifies that it takes place within to extremes; either good or bad (vague terms in and of themselves). The choice, however, still exists.
The fact that you think that "Good", and "Evil", are vague terms, betrays your inability to discern between free will, and free election/choice.

>Ok? This doesn't necessarily marry the concepts of prophecy and free will. If "x" has the ability to consciously follow any preassigned task, they also have the ability to consciously rebel against it.
God's finalistic plan/s are always fulfilled through His grace, regardless of mediate potential for free election/choice.

[Anonymous No.15305182]

I’m not a copy cat, what I’m doing Is slightly different than what you’re doing, on purpose, so that I’m not being a copy cat but my doing of something so specific but so slightly different that it’s obvious I’m doing this on purpose, which is what I want, and then nothing happens and I regret doing this later. It’s a fake joy being a facsimile, at my best I get an ego trip imagining conversations, or possible other regretted “attempts”, other esoterically obvious things that become increasingly more pathetic as you traverse time in reverse order, especially towards the end. I think I’m probably doing it now, but I’m also really liking writing like this because I never just tried writing something to be a thought with a picture frame kept on it for sometime later while I’m making a post on 4chan. I know how to write about one thing, I should write about this one thing, learn to write a lot and edit it after, and change basically everything to different things built from the original one thing. But really I wish I could write, the thing doing my writing with now isn’t something I’m as good at as I need to be, writing actual story or just some sort of “piece” I think I could’ve been much better at and more fulfilled by. And the conceptual nature I try to create now, with actual writing I could breathe so much more. But I get meta when I talk or write, and my biggest fault with this is I instinctively beat myself down to get approval from others like I’m some uncle tom for my kind, I’m doing it now, I’m doing it now, I’m doing everything I said in this whole post probably here right now, and again, and I’m doing again, here I’m doing it again with this sentence, I’m writing, somebody tell me how to apply this post I just made to write something with except less narcissistic and pathetically creative and more direction to go and add things to?

[Anonymous No.15305199]

I’m not a copy cat, what I’m doing Is slightly different than what you’re doing, on purpose, so that I’m not being a copy cat but my doing of something so specific but so slightly different that it’s obvious I’m doing this on purpose, which is what I want, and then nothing happens and I regret doing this later. It’s a fake joy being a facsimile, at my best I get an ego trip imagining conversations, or possible other regretted “attempts”, other esoterically obvious things that at become increasingly more pathetic as you traverse time in reverse order, especially towards the end. Right now is another of those, but I’m also really liking writing like this because I never just tried writing something to be a thought with a picture frame kept on it for sometime later while I’m making a post on 4chan. I now think I know how to write about one thing, I should write about this one thing, learn to write a lot and edit it after, and change basically everything to different things built from the original one thing. But really I wish I could write, this I’m not copy catting I swear, the thing doing my writing with now isn’t something I’m as good at as I need to be, writing actual story or just some sort of “piece” I think I could’ve been much better at and more fulfilled by. And the conceptual nature I try to create now, with actual writing I could breathe so much more. But I get meta when I talk or write, and my biggest fault with this is I instinctively beat myself down to get approval from others like I’m some uncle tom for my kind, I’m doing it now, I’m doing it now, I’m doing everything I said in this whole post probably here right now, and again, and I’m doing again, here I’m doing it again with this sentence, I’m writing, somebody tell me how to apply this post I just made to write something with except less narcissistic and pathetically creative and more direction to go and add things to?

[Anonymous No.15305204]

>>15305144
Thats a bit wierd
I always just meow at them

[Anonymous No.15305207]

>>15305204
I meow at cats too.

[Anonymous No.15305303]

Something hilarious just occurred to me. Part of the justification for mass education was to offer to the gifted poor opportunities to use their intelligence to rise in economic class. The actual effect of this over generations is that the poor become stupider and the rich become smarter on average as the intelligent flow up and the dumb down. It is literally entrenching and refining the caste system it set out to lessen.

[Anonymous No.15305306]

I'll be honest. The thought of castrating an asian man and eating his testicles turns me on a bit.

[Anonymous No.15305359]

>>15300481
I feel hopeless. I had the past 3 weeks off and did nothing. I may not be capable of sustaining myself. I'm thinking I should just see myself as something small and insignificant, it might help drive me in the short term, and take some of the pressure off. There's nothing I really feel like doing. I don't even feel like writing right now. Plan going forward? Clean up and get through the next two weeks unscathed.

[Anonymous No.15305362]

[Anonymous No.15305366]

>>15305179
I humbly ask that you pray for my well-being if it is within reason. I am a degenerate but I want to leave my bullshit behind. I know time is short and Christ is coming soon but I can't leave this life without at least making trying to make amends. It may even be futile what I intend to do, in my paltry way, but this deep pain I feel is horrendous. Thank you for answering my question.

[Anonymous No.15305387]

>>15305366
Christ is not real.

[Anonymous No.15305466]

>>15305387
Cope for a fucking degenerate life pissed away on poor habits.

[Anonymous No.15305495]

I wanted to be alone. I always felt dejected around others, and sheepish. Somehow this notion led me to believe I was a writer. I wasn't.

[Anonymous No.15305512]

>>15300481
>>15300481
>>15300481
>>15300481
>>15300481
I HOPE YOU DROWN IN PISS, YOU FUCKING WHORE, V.

[Anonymous No.15305626]

why couldnt i be born looking like this, bros

[Anonymous No.15305647]

>>15305466
Do not pretend like I wouldnt cut your filipino dads testes off and consume them like eggs because I *WOULD* and I promise you it.

[Anonymous No.15305911]

>>15300664
I shared a cell for several years with a lifer. He killed someone. He said at the beginning he completely gave up. Had a chip on his shoulder and wanted to kill or hurt as many people as possible. He ended up severely injuring two guards. As he got older he mellowed out and resigned himself to his new life. He never got over the fact that he can never leave, but he makes do with what he has and tries to live as fulfilling life as possible.
Something that really stuck with me was when he told me that he was given a choice: to be angry and hurt the world like he was hurt, going out in violence, or to make do with what he had and live his life.

I wish I could see him again.

[Anonymous No.15305950]

>>15305647
Try hard degenerate. Seethe more.

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15305975]

>>15305366
It is no problem.

[Anonymous No.15306090]

Just found out the only woman I've ever loved, decided that she's no longer a woman. That she's gender non-binary. Or something like that.

On one hand it took a huge weight off my chest: it was never meant to be, it would've never worked. On the other hand I feel terrible because that came in exchange of feeling pity towards her (or them, whatever).

She looks terrible. Poorly shaved head, overweight, face looking as if she barely sleeps at all. A woman who held firmly and stubbornly onto several beliefs, but they weren't compatible, so she got torn to pieces.

[Anonymous No.15306137]

I had a recent pregnancy scare from a girl I was seeing, and it really freaked me out.
I want to go out and do things. I've spent the last 6 years fucking around, getting into trouble, drinking too much etc. I'm at a point where I feel like I need to choose a direction in my life. I'm horrified by the concept of having to settle down. I don't want to be like my parents and begrudgingly raise children. I don't want to work in an office. I feel like doing a masters but at the same time I'm scared to do it and find out its not for me. Deep down I want to be alone, free to move around. Not to be tied to anything. Its always been one of my biggest fantasies to go out and work interesting jobs and move around. I just feel terrified at the idea of becoming my parents and hating life

[Anonymous No.15306695]

There's a quote pertaining to how, when the world no longer has any virtuous/noble causes worth fighting for, people must create their own values to live by or follow instead - something along those lines. I can't find it for the life of me but I've read it a few times and I'm pretty sure it's from a well-known text, or at least a reputable writer.

If anyone recognizes or think they remember what I'm talking about it, that'd be great. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.15306696]

If you're a girl and you've masturbated to me, I don't mind. Even if you have a bf or a husband or anything I won't hold it against you. Sexual urges are natural to each and every being. We should be nice and kind to each other instead of promoting hatred and fascist hatred. If you're alone, late at night, think of me and I won't care or hold it against you.

[Anonymous No.15306697]

>>15303397
thats right
i've been here for over five weeks without returning to the city though because of quarantine. i'm going feral & unleashing the full extent of schizoposting
>>15303196
yeah, i'd rate it 7/10 overall. great phrases here and there, pleasant prose, loved the descriptions of comfy places, but the overall plot and feel is quite weak

[Anonymous No.15306704]

I just fapped again after a couple of days of retention. How do I eventually stop doing this shit?

[Anonymous No.15306710]

>>15305626
What do you think about very cute reverse traps then
just be born a female and go trap mode

[Anonymous No.15306714]

>>15306704
What's wrong with masturbation? As long as you aren't doing every day for hours it's fine and healthy.

[Anonymous No.15306717]

>>15305950
I don't actually hate filipnos. They've got big fat butts and huge bobos and I want my white boy jizz in their wombs and eggs.

[Anonymous No.15306722]

>>15306714
It's a waste of time.

[Anonymous No.15306725]

>>15306722
Everything is a waste of time, we're dying anyways.

[Anonymous No.15306726]

>>15306714
I don't see nothing wrong with it but I feel bad everytime I nut.

[Anonymous No.15306728]

>>15306722
If you are alone and think about boobs then you're gonna maturbeate dude,

[Anonymous No.15306739]

>>15306704
the less you do it, the more used you become to jerking rarely. 1-3 times a week right before bed is fine and healthy, make sure you don't just replay porn you saw years ago in your head while doing it.

[Anonymous No.15306829]

What does Kierkegaard, Deleuze, etc. mean by "repetition?" What did Deleuze, Kierkegaard, et al mean? "Repetition" is what?

[Anonymous No.15306832]

>>15306710
in theory it sounds pretty good but i doubt it would be that great in real life

[Anonymous No.15306838]

>>15306832
If you are born fenake abd wabt me I will not insult you, operiod,

[Anonymous No.15306839]

>>15300481
I love that painting and it's hilarious to think someone would sit down and take the time to paint something as miserable and random yet relatable.

>>15304146
It all comes down to demand. Since we're impulsive animals, the market and related technologies will cater to our every need. I remember reading that Nike makes more money off expensive shoes per year than the entire budget of NASA for getting man on the Mars in 7 years. Honestly I've never felt more like genocide after realizing that.

[Anonymous No.15306846]

>>15306829
Repetition is when you repeat the same thing iver nf over as if we didnt get it the first fucking time. Listen, I will impregnate you. My swimmers getting to your eggs. I do not hate you or look down on you either,

[Anonymous No.15306855]

I want to get married. I want to have a woman who loves me as much as she loves herself. I want someone who makes me feel joy just by her mere presence, and I want to be that kind of person for someone else. I want to be able to say that I have met someone who is "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh," and that we can be together until the end of our lives, and also see each other in the life to come, too.

[Anonymous No.15306860]

>>15306855
Just be nice to women for once and they will come.

[Anonymous No.15306867]

>>15306832
You must be blessed with the right genetics. Not overly short (unless you truly want to perma-fagmode), narrow hips, small tits (or you'll have hideous scars from the surgery), good chin, at the very least.
I have all of this and "pass" all the time (if someone calls me she or some shit they just assume they were mistaken upon hearing my voice) after two years of illegal hrt (shithole country, cant do it properly) and i still look like a 14 year old, And my hips are still wider than i'd like, i'll have to make sensible upper gainz to balance it out.

I'm the "normal" kind but there are le gay softboi bean aidans, so if any of you anons are desperate for tomboy or retard pussy, just pretend you're a gay man and falling for them

[Anonymous No.15306877]

>>15306867
Buffalo Bill and Mr. Goodbye Horses

You are not a fucking woman, Mr. Jerry Brudos and nor will you ever be.

[Anonymous No.15306881]

>>15300481
hahahaahahah you dumb fucking fat cunt how retarded do you have to be to drop a basket with fragiles like wtf who raised you you absolute LOSER

[Anonymous No.15306882]

>>15300481
If that painting resides in my city's art museum, where do I live? Correct answer gets .01BTC

[Anonymous No.15306890]

I'm never happy with my writing. It always feels either stilted and dry or else overly artificial. I've specially been feeling this about my academic writing; I'm in my second year of college and the quality of my papers is, to me, appalling. Every time I'm working on them I ask to myself if this is something worthy of a college student, and I don't think they really are. I have come further than I should have.

[Anonymous No.15306896]

>>15306881
Do not drop the basket of wine. We can all have some fun and be pals and even get naked if we sih,

[Anonymous No.15306909]

>>15306877
>You are not a fucking woman, ... and nor will you ever be.
thanks

[Anonymous No.15306916]

>>15306860
thanks bro

[Anonymous No.15306922]

>>15306882
Milwaukee.

I don't have a wallet.

[Anonymous No.15307129]

>>15306090
same here. over all a good thing. it makes us retroactively gay.

[Anonymous No.15307144]

>>15305911
Thanks for sharing your experience with this guy, who I can't imagine being in his position.

I find myself in a similar position internally, thats why that question interested me so much. I'm obviously not saying that it's comparable with an actual life sentence in prison (that would be cynical to say the least), but I do understand your friend on a spiritual level more or less.

It's that I've always struggled with making connections with people/ having friends/ relationships. There is something I don't seem to understand or be able to do to be a social person. It's hard to describe, but I think I can say one thing about it for sure: It's that philosophy/concepts/ethics/morals/logic/words/thoughts/whatever is all in the way (an obstacle) of making connections with people. It's the inability of letting go, accepting the prison and make do with it. I think I just need to give up.

That's the inner prison for me. Thoughts constantly interrupting the natural interactions. That's how it has been for my whole life as an adult/young adult.

Anyone else feel this way?

[Anonymous No.15307220]

>>15305911
what did you do?
why can't you talk to him anymore?

[Anonymous No.15307374]

>>15306881
she looks kinda drunk, maybe at least he got some before it got wasted

[Anonymous No.15307438]

>>15305045
The smile isn't the issue, it's the expression that comes after that. Smiling is a temporary state, while being forsaken is permanent.
You might even argue that truly happy people don't smile at dogs, they exist in a different plane where no small anegdote, happy or sad, affects them.

[Anonymous No.15307471]

>>15300481
i haven't slept yet again, i'm trying to reset my sleep schedule for the second time in a week
i hate being awake at night and sleeping all day, never getting to see the sun, but my sleep schedule always return to these timings, sooner or later, i wonder if it's my natural sleep cycle or something. who knows

besides that, i've been feeling pretty empty staying inside at home lately. i've been NEET for just over 8 months now, well, 2 months proper because i was studying for my medical entrance exam (it was at home though) and it's starting to get to me just now. i've stopped playing games because they're nothing but a time-sink, they only make frittering easier.
i stopped playing games to further my own ends. i don't know if i'll get into med school. i need closure. i wish they would release the results already, but it's going to be 3 more months instead of one because of the god-forsaken pandemic.
so i've been wondering what i should do, ideally
i tie my self worth to my intelligence, and if i fail the medical entrance exam that i'm taking for the second time i might kill myself. i'm really set on doing that. it's messing with my motivation to do anything, because i feel like none of the things i do that are productive are worth it because i'm gonna commit suicide anyway. on the other hand, i don't want to mindlessly succumb to my desires and be in a constant state of hedonism because i feel like i don't deserve that. i don't know what to do exactly.

i'm going to keep reading and lifting, hope i find something or someone that fills the void

[Anonymous No.15307476]

I haven't been to a social gathering or had social contact outside like a minutes small talk at work in like a decade. I don't feel human anymore.

[Anonymous No.15307490]

>>15307476
Just do it bro, fail and learn.dont give up l.

[Anonymous No.15307543]

bros, i...
the ecofash movement will remember them.

[Anonymous No.15307581]

>>15307490
I'm gonna do it and not fail this time

[Anonymous No.15307740]

>>15305179
To be clear, >>15305366 was and is not me. Any replies that stem from this comment are not mine as it were past my bedtime, and I was asleep. I am now awake, for I have risen.

>The fact that you think that "Good", and "Evil", are vague terms...
Their definitions do not matter. I was simply stating an observation. I had assumed your answer would have (emphasis on would, as you "choose" to do otherwise) fallen in line with what was offered at the conclusion of Job (i.e., fuck off, don't questions God's will).

>betrays your inability to discern between free will, and free election/choice.
Your inability to accurately articulate why free election isn't just some variant of soft determinism betrays your understanding (or lack their of) of the topic. While I agree some of the burden lies on my shoulder, some of it rests on your's as well.

>God's finalistic plan/s are always fulfilled through His grace, regardless of mediate potential for free election/choice.
This seems to be the line of thinking, hence my confusion.

[Anonymous No.15307746]

With the industrial proliferation of retard and faggot prostheses and the se of cunt-transmission equipment from retarded childhood onwards, we now fuck fuck fuck see the encoding of increasingly elaborate mental images together with a steady decline in retardation rates and retard. In other words we are looking at the rapid collapse of retarded faggot consolidation. This collapse seems only natural, if one remembers a contrario that seeing, and its spatio-temporal organization, precede fucking and fucking and their fucking fucking, fucking, fucking fuck (as images of our thoughts), our thoughts themselves and cognitive functions, nigger faggot acid retard panda fuck suck it nigger panda cunt faggot pussy.

i'm so pissed off i'm so pissed off i'm so pissed off i'm so PISSED OFF i'm so pissed off i'm so pissed off i'm so pissed OFF i'm SO PISSED off i'm ANGRY ok? yeah? ok?

[Anonymous No.15307795]

>>15305362
Is the perspective off on that barrel?

[Anonymous No.15307949]

The last compliment I received was about my work shoes last year.
She didn't know they had a hole in the bottom.

[Anonymous No.15307954]

>>15307949
All asian filipina girls want a white wee wee in their booty. Fact

[Anonymous No.15307999]

Why is it so easy to be kind to others and not myself? How do I love myself when I don’t even like the person I am?

[Anonymous No.15308003]

>>15307999
You care more about yourself than others.

[Anonymous No.15308011]

>>15300619
Same

[Anonymous No.15308459]

Any late twenties guys here? How are things going for you? What’s your outlook on life?

I can’t shake this feeling like I don’t have any direction in my life and if it didn’t it wouldn’t matter because there’s nothing worth doing anyway. I feel like a pre-teen in an existential crisis but I just can’t get rid of it. What’s worse is the handful of things I think I might want to do, I feel like I’ve missed my window on. I just have so much regret and feelings of despair for the future bros. I’m too old for that. Please tell me I’m not the only one.

[Anonymous No.15308463]

sometimes you just gotta fuckin' write, dontcha
just a writin whatever comes down in the ol nogging
maybe hoping for some gold
never gonna get it thoug
doesn't work that way
never edit, not unless your fingers catch themselves a-typin somethin wrong
aye
that's about the only time ya gotta edit any
reckon it's so you can get your footing on just writin
don't stop
don't think
just keep goin
one of these fucking lines will be worth something
i know it
i feel it
it's coming
here we go
...

[Anonymous No.15308478]

>>15308459
25 here, so mid twenties. I'm directionless and hopeless. I make enough at my job to barely pay the bills but I'm terrible at it and I know I'll get fired eventually. And then what? I don't see the point. I just want to live in a rural town and have my own little quiet life but instead I've been thrust into the rat race in a big city with mountains of loans and responsibilities. I wish things were different. Maybe in another life.

[Anonymous No.15308558]

>>15308459
Same, i feel like a pre-teen in an existential crises, but only because my conditions of life haven't changed. I'm still living like a teen, i'm an absolute loser, so the same mindset arises. The thing is i don't know how to change my life or if i even want to. Any other alternative either looks even bleaker or impossible to attain. Just a guy who needs to get over himself but i can't

[Anonymous No.15308654]

>>15308478
I’m almost the opposite. I was in your shoes at work a few years ago. Now, I’m probably the best at my job with zero effort. I hate it though. And one of the things I regret is never moving to the city. I’ve lived in small rural towns my whole life. I know I would hate it after a while but I wish I had tried it. Anyway, have you tried leaving?

>>15308558
Well, what do you mean you still live like a teen?

[Anonymous No.15308696]

>>15308654
>Tried leaving
Where to? I could move somewhere rural and work a simple, modest paying job and live happily - but I'd still need money to pay off my loans, which would suck the majority of my income. I guess I could default on them but I'd be setting myself up for a life of headaches.

[Anonymous No.15308708]

the first time I thought I'd write a
poem I must have been smoking
choking on smoke which I wanted
erased, so I must have pulled a
leaf of laurel to chew to hide the
moment and must have really
enjoyed its taste

[Anonymous No.15308799]

I need to escape this hellhole. I have to do it quickly because time is runing very fast. Last time I tried I failed and was sent here again. How are I suposed to survive? How am I suposed to even contemplate the posibility of me being a captive man for the rest of my life? I don't want to die here, alone. I don't want more missery in my life. But my life doesn't matter anymore. I have turned into something else. A wild, rabid beast who is trapped forever in a body he can't even call himself.

[Anonymous No.15308936]

>>15306137
sartre -the age of reason
faggot

[Anonymous No.15308958]

>>15307438
Unless i'm stuck in this plane and can't comperhend that sort of ever being happiness, I think that would be more of a neutral person. A truly happy person would use the passing dog to help create happiness in themselves. Maybe their thoughts before were negative but they use the dog to pull themselves out of such thoughts. Their face may not stay in a big silly smile but it wont rot and become shrewed but rather diminish to a more natural expression ready to smile again as new more positive thoughts come to them. Even if those negative thoughts return they serve to compliment the happy ones before and to come.
Without sadness there can be no happiness.

[Anonymous No.15308998]

Yesterday I heard a sound. A dull thump in the sunroom adjacent to my bedroom. I go to investigate and, alas, a poor mockingbird was trying to fly through a window. Now a window it can't fly through, but god help it, it was trying to. I speak to it. It calms slightly. I walk towards it, it flies into the solid portal from whence it thinks it came. Closer I approach, talking to it, asking it to calm down. As I reach to help it, it goes still. I grasp it with both hands. Coddling it to protect it from itself. It is rock still.

Now if you don't know mockingbirds, they have a bit of an edge, some attitude. I like to think that it knew what I was doing. That it was accepting the help I was so glad to give. Not a peck, not a quiver, just a mockingbird gone calm. I felt close to it, like I do with so many of the critters and plants around my property. I walk it out and release it. No damage done, happy as can be as it stretches its wings and flaps away. I hope it will remember me as I will remember him. Birds are some of God's loveliest creatures. I hope he spreads the word that I am always willing to help should another bird find itself in trouble. The birds have helped me so much over the last year or so. Watching them flit and flutter and feed around my house, it's brought me more joy than I could ever repay them for. I can only hope to help them whenever I can, my only way of reciprocity in this wonderful little piece of the world we've set aside for ourselves.

[Anonymous No.15309020]

>>15308463
Beautiful you made it

[Anonymous No.15309036]

>>15308654
>Well, what do you mean you still live like a teen?
My life hasn't progressed in anyway since i was a teen other than being a wagie but what a great progression that is

[Anonymous No.15309039]

you can't deceive the blood forever! I will return in glory of primal atavus, I await only the magic word

[Anonymous No.15309060]

>>15309036
I suggest becoming a vagrant laborer for a while, it is quite fun

[Anonymous No.15309073]

>>15309036
Feels like shit to have never completed your youth and still having to work desu.
How are you with your hands? How are you with cooking and cleaning and whatnot? Do you manage your finances well? Do you take care of your body? These are all adult things and if you do them you should be proud, if not then you know what to work on :)

[Anonymous No.15309077]

>>15308696
I understand that. Like I said, I’ve lived in small towns my whole life and I basically live paycheck to paycheck. I make my monthly payments but my balance hasn’t moved in years but I’m in a field that isn’t high demand here. The irony is I had a job with high pay in the city immediately after graduating but I left almost immediately.

>>15309036
What kind of progress would be ideal?

[Anonymous No.15309126]

>>15307144
I mentioned it in part of it being something beyond just the realities of prison.
You don't need to give up. There may be barriers that stop you from 'enjoying' things the same way as other people but that doesn't mean you can't find a way to work around it and come to something that is still meaningful. If you want it bad enough you'll find a way to move beyond your issues even if only by a little bit. It may be painful, it may take years. Hell, at the end of it you might not even change at all. But its worth it to try to push yourself, isn't it?

>>15307220
A couple of charges of various assaults and a drug possession. I can talk to him by writing to him, and have been for years now, but I can't visit him because I have a felony.

[Anonymous No.15309222]

>>15309126
I realize I haven't made myself clear very well. With "giving up" I meant: Giving up trying to think so much/use reason where its not necessary/etc. Kind of a stoic/cynic approach maybe

[Anonymous No.15309314]

Been thinking of Pynchon lately...

[Numen !!GgBWHLRiayD No.15309388]

>>15307740
God's determinism pertains to the rescue, safety, and nurturing, of noble entities, in concord with eternal Telos, therefore, God is the terminus of the world of the noble ones; humans do not have free will, because they cannot act absolutely unconditionally, which would otherwise be in impossible conflict with the aforementioned form of determinism; humans have free election, because they are capable of choosing to act in concord with, and to be conditioned by, either: Good, or Evil - to live by nobility, or to succumb to ignobility; any confusion that may arise from this is due to, either: lack of faith in God, or ethicomoral ignobility, or both.

[Anonymous No.15309692]

>>15300481
Is it possible to meme yourself into having a fetish? I've been joking about mommy gf/gentle femdom stuff on here and all of a sudden I find myself actually thinking about it a lot. Is sexuality really that malleable?

[Anonymous No.15309733]

>>15309388
>any confusion that may arise from this is due to, either: lack of faith in God, or ethicomoral ignobility, or both.
That's a shame.

I can't help but feel you're pulling wool over my eyes by mincing words, but at the same time, I do realize that this may stem more from any myriad of personal shortcomings on my end(terminal midwit'ism more than like) than any ill intent from you. Unfortunately, I don't believe much else will result from our head banging. Not here, at least.

I commend the attempt. It was appreciated. I'll look into the supplementary material you suggested further back in the thread. Maybe I'll read it. Maybe I won't. Not entirely sure yet. Take care, anon.

For those who care, I'd be more than interested in hearings other's takes on the question asked here >>15303630, assuming this thread isn't pruned by the time I get back from work.

[Anonymous No.15309744]

I took a ritalin for the first time earlier. Kinda interesting feel. My essay's still not done though.

[Anonymous No.15309760]

This is the only place I feel a sense of camaraderie, sometimes I wish everyone who posted here including myself read more and made this board better and also shared feels and such, this place has such a potential to be a comfy space.im truly alone and if I die only 2 people will truly mourn my death. I want to overcome and I will, life is meaningless and brutal but I'm gonna create my own little heaven in this hell.

[Anonymous No.15309763]

when is someone gonna start ranking these? Thats the best part.

[Anonymous No.15309780]

>>15309692
Yes.
Source trust me bro

[Anonymous No.15309789]

>>15309692
>Is it possible to meme yourself into having a fetish?
I don't know. Maybe.

>Is sexuality really that malleable?
It would seem so. Habitual porn use has been shown to both warp and intensify existing fetishes, if not lead to outright novel ones.

[Anonymous No.15309827]

>>15309760
I feel that way sometimes. You’re not alone bro.

[Anonymous No.15309926]

the 4 year old HARROOWER
> pulls the harrow
> goes over the same place 5 times
> ignores the flat areas, no need to harrow
> ground still shit because it's too wrecked after the rain
> still very good at harrowing

[Anonymous No.15309975]

>>15309780
Damn, guess that confirms it then.
In all seriousness I think our modern understanding of sexuality is severely lacking and needs a complete overhaul. Maybe i'll be the Kant to do it idk.
>>15309789
I quit porn ages ago though that's the thing, it's just made me even more cumbrained.

[Anonymous No.15310006]

>>15309692
yes.. source: fell for this too. not that i mind.

[Anonymous No.15311354]

>>15304101
Well I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

[Anonymous No.15312152]

All of literature consists of two things:
>her
>death
Done.

[Anonymous No.15312164]

My life feels like a narrative that ran its course in the year or two following high school, but for some reason continues spinning along even long after losing whatever track it was originally following.

[Anonymous No.15312499]

>>15300537
I fuckin hate horses man

[Anonymous No.15313260]

tfw fantasizing about meeting and falling in love with a qt Japanese girl while backpacking through nippon and marrying her and moving into her family’s countryside house again

[Anonymous No.15313263]

I think about girls all the time. Pretty girls mostly. Pretty girls whom I wish I could date. It would probably feel really nice to kiss and cuddle them. I wonder what my life would be like if I spent less time thinking about girls.

[Anonymous No.15313413]

I live with a scarred mind in a scarred body on scarred land, spending each minute of each hour of each day thinking which to mend

[Anonymous No.15313785]

Is it the human race worth saving now or is it better to take advantage of it with what little time we have in life? I mean after all, in a hundred years, no one will care or even remember whatever contributions I could bring to society. Basically what I’m asking is.
Is it better to live for yourself or for others?

[Anonymous No.15313825]

>>15309314
Same. What exactly are your thoughts about Pynchon?

[Anonymous No.15313838]

>>15300481
Nothing of use.

Since i have realized that truth is not to be found, i just gave up thinking about abstract things. I got lazy with my thinking.

[Anonymous No.15313858]

>>15313838
Happiness belongs to no one but that supremely lazy man for whom even opening and closing his eyes is a bother.

[Anonymous No.15313892]

>>15313858
Yet one does feel a sense of being distraught with his lazyness.

[Anonymous No.15313950]

>>15313785
They're the same thing. Whichever you decide, you ultimately live for yourself. Only way to not choose this path is to stop living.

[Anonymous No.15313975]

>>15300619
-CHOO?

[Anonymous No.15314045]

Sometimes I wonder if the future of 4chan is strictly as a proxy for different warring Discord groups. For the moment, 4chan still commands meme prestige, so if this or that cluster of people want to push some idea or consensus on 4chan, and the shit is that important to them for whatever reason, then why not conspire offsite to try and force that consensus through an anonymous posting system unable to check for that sort of thing?

It's mainly /v/, /pol/, and /biz/ that has me reaching these conclusions.

[Anonymous No.15314989]

>>15312499
why tho
they're comfy and smart

[Anonymous No.15315072]

>>15309692
>Is it possible to meme yourself into having a fetish?

Don't ruin your life bro

[Anonymous No.15315094]

>>15314045
It's not worth commenting on the first two because everyone already knows they're shit but /biz/ is the definition of useless. The continued existence of /biz/ convinced me that most 4channers are intellectually handicapped.
You can't glean any information from 80% of the posts, which especially seem to an outsider to consist of a secret monkey gibberish like kids talking in pig latin. What information or arguments you can discern are speculation or literal shilling. Cryptos and day trading are really the only topics and if you bring up anything else you will at most receive a few short and empty replies, even for something so broad and important as the health of the housing market. You will leave with the same impression after spending a year as you would only ten minutes because 99% of the content is insubstantial or meaningless.

[Anonymous No.15315150]

I wish I was around in Vietnam. I would have dropped napalm on all the kids and old folks, just to watch them flail around and die.

[Anonymous No.15315167]

My thesis is due in two days and I don’t think what I’ve written is good enough

[Anonymous No.15315187]

Is it normal to think about Emma often?

[Anonymous No.15315197]

>>15300511
you can use pranic breathing to heal your inner trauma

[Anonymous No.15315243]

Hi, I'm Richard Kuklinski and this is Jackass!

Today, we're gonna shoot this woman in the head.

Wha- *BOOM*

*audience gasps*

[Anonymous No.15315274]

>>15300481
>you are not who you think you are, you are what you do
Where can I read something on that thought?

[Anonymous No.15315287]

>>15315274
If you kill women they HAVE to serve as slaves in the next life. That is common sense.

[Anonymous No.15315289]

>>15315274
non sum qualis eram

[Anonymous No.15315303]

In my writing group there's this guy who wants to do trad pub but he has no talent. He's acting way too overconfident and it's killing me. I kept telling him he needs to work on his grammar but he didn't listen and went ahead and submitted his error-ridden manuscript to agents. The manuscript is also way over the word count agents look for but he thinks he can be the exception.

[Anonymous No.15315313]

>>15315303
Don't read it and tell him to do it the right fucking way.

[Anonymous No.15315486]

> be me
> braid horses
i bet you are jelaous

[Anonymous No.15315496]

John's face was always gloomy. When someone asked him a question, he would answer monosyllabically or pretend to be deaf. He'd never look into one's eyes, and his sweaty, limp hand felt like a sponge when he had to extend it to greet a new co-worker. His life was divided between his home and the office. He spent the weekends sitting on the old couch in front of the television, reading the late newspapers and drinking beer.
No one liked John except Martha, who thought he was a true gentleman. Finally, one day, he ended up inviting her to dinner. Marta blushed when she received the invitation, her heart pounding as she couldn't help but let out a shy smile from her lips. She swallowed and agreed day and time.

...


Two hours before the meeting, Marta took a long bath with scented salts and applied a hydrating mask on her face. She brushed her hair for a long time, but in the end decided to make a relaxed bun. She painted her eyes, stretched her lashes and intensified her lips with red lipstick, dressing in a tight skirt and a slightly transparent silk blouse that she had saved for a special occasion.
Inside the cab, on the way to the restaurant, Marta tried to straighten a strand of hair that kept peeling off her bun, running her fingers across the skirt whilst looking intermittently at her makeup mirror as to touch up the lipstick.
Suddenly, a block to the restaurant, a thought crossed her mind. What if John had only invited her to talk about work issues? As she got out of the cab, Marta used a shop window as a makeshift mirror only to ponder whether her skirt was too tight, or her shirt too transparent.

[Anonymous No.15315502]

If you had picked up that phone you would not be here today. It isn't a joke.

[Anonymous No.15315554]

I think the best measurement of intelligence is the ability for abstraction. I feel like when I try to think deeply about reality/time/consciousness or that sort of thing I can truly feel some sort of limit.

[Anonymous No.15315579]

>>15315496
i vividly remember reading it somewhere. is this a lit meme now?

[Anonymous No.15315588]

>>15315579
Yes, it kinda is.

[Anonymous No.15315784]

It is not that we have a short space of time, but that we waste much of it. Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficiently generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested. But when it is squandered in luxury and carelessness, when it is devoted to no good end, forced at last by the ultimate necessity we perceive that it has passed away before we were aware that it was passing. So it is—the life we receive is not short, but we make it so, nor do we have any lack of it, but are wasteful of it. Just as great and princely wealth is scattered in a moment when it comes into the hands of a bad owner, while wealth however limited, if it is entrusted to a good guardian, increases by use, so our life is amply long for him who orders it properly.

[Anonymous No.15315859]

>>15312499
never date a horse girl, biggest psychos (only nurses give them a run for their money)

[Anonymous No.15315862]

>>15306704
Cut your dick off.

[Anonymous No.15315868]

>>15308478
Two words. Walk Away.

[Anonymous No.15315958]

>>15315859
horse girls >>>> cat girls tho
the latter are """quirky""" while being the most vapid plain normies, the first are criminally insane and usually fun

[Anonymous No.15315985]

How do i start noticing and appreaciating/being captivated by the beauty? I've been reading mishima's golden temple and im really envious of his sense of beauty and im quite dull when it comes to those things.

[Anonymous No.15315989]

>>15315958
What if you meet a horse girl that is also a cat girl?

[Anonymous No.15316010]

It was a Friday when the sky broke open when Mills and Carter found themselves sitting opposite a Best Western in a crappy Datsun.

They sat watching the motel for three hours, not speaking a word. They'd already cleaned their pistols and made sure they fired correctly. Periodically, they'd drink from bottles they'd stashed in the cup holder. Neither gave thought to leaving their position. It was ingrained into them to stay.

At a half past three, the door to one of the motel rooms opened and a woman in a crop top, skirt and heels stumbled out into the rain. She glanced back into the motel room, then wandered away. Mills and Carter watched the motel room.

A minute passed and a man in a dark suit left the room, closing the door behind him. He rushed to a car and slipped inside, hiding from the downpour.

Carter started the car, waited until the man in the suit reversed and left the parking lot, then pulled out onto the highway and followed the man. He kept the Datsun a couple car lengths behind the BMW he was following, trusting the man in the suit was too plastered to notice he was being trailed.

They followed the Beamer to the other side of town, where he stopped outside a set of office buildings. Parking on the other side of the street, Mills and Carter left the car and crossed the road. They took their pistols in hand and entered the office.

The man in the suit stood at the front of the office, arguing with the receptionist.

"What do you mean I can't come in? I'm a fucking partner!" he slurred.

Mills stopped behind the man and asked, "Michael Henderson?"

Michael Henderson spun to face him. "What?"

"Carmine Vitale says hello."

Mills raised the pistol and shot Henderson between the eyes. Pink mist exploded out the back of Henderson's head and he collapsed.

The receptionist screamed. Carter aimed at her and fired. The bullet caught the chest, painting the ivory wall behind her crimson. She staggered back and Carter fired again. Her head jerked back and the wall was painted again. She fell to the ground.

Mills and Carter walked out of the office, crossed the street and entered their car. The ignition caught when Carter turned the key, then started. They peeled away from the sidewalk, speeding past a cop car screaming toward the office.

[Anonymous No.15316050]

>>15315985
i related to Mishima like hardly ever before, there are a few authors that capture my exact fascinations.
read the classics, even if the plot is boring or irrelevant they're so good at subtlety and opening new kinds of experience for you, see Chekhov's and Gogol's and Maupassant's short stories for a starter.
if you can, take walks in the calmest crowdless hours, walk away from the city, you'll be amazed at how primal it is just 10 minutes away from the nearest house. watch the sunsets here, and rise early to steal a glimpse of summer sunrises, you can just go back to sleep after looking for a bit.
summertime is the best to get saturated with nature. weave flower crowns like a faggot and leave them on tree branches or bushes. you can alternate between calm fitting music and listening to the birds.
when you capture the essense of natural beauty, you'll start seeing its shadows and references in anything.

[Anonymous No.15316181]

people who like horror are effeminate low-test males and women.

[Anonymous No.15316220]

>>15316181
what do high-test masculine women like?

[Anonymous No.15316223]

>>15316220
feminism

[Anonymous No.15316312]

>>15300481
Ravioli, Ravioli
I wanna fug a qt loli

[Anonymous No.15316346]

>>15315187
Yeah, it is. I like to think that everyone has their own Emma they are obsessed with.

[Anonymous No.15316387]

I don't know if I am going insane, but I am currently under the belief that both the behavioral aspects of conscious individuals, as well as the internal dispositions generally attributed to consciousness itself, are not wholly related to the physical world; that is, while the brain is linked to the activities of material bodies and experience, the components of human minds that is defined as "consciousness" is but one of multiple ends that can be replicated and reproduced throughout the universe, each of which are altered through entirely physical properties and causes, but never quite originating in a physical origin. Although I am unsure of what this original, non-physical cause is, I am confident that what Freeman Dyson called "the mental apparatus of the universe" (what we only consider as God), has something to do with this theory. I am perturbed.

[Anonymous No.15316442]

At least 3 people in this thread have posted about being a directionless mid-twenties loser.
Let me give you some advice: MAN THE FUCK UP YOU FAGGOT.
If living in a rural town is really your dream (I can definetly relate to this), the go on and do something about it. What I did was learning to program, that moved me out of my family's house and gave me loads of money. Then, I will invest the money and stop wageslaving. Certainly if I did it you can too.

[Anonymous No.15316485]

>>15316050
thats a solid advice. maybe i'm unable to do this because i run from delving deeper into myself.

[Anonymous No.15316492]

>>15316442
>What I did was learning to program
lol

[Anonymous No.15316495]

>>15316442
Thanks Boomer Dad

[Anonymous No.15316525]

>>15316492
?
Explain yourself. Please comment a better way to get money in this world.
>>15316495
No problem kiddo, keep in mind I'm only 25.

[Anonymous No.15316607]

>>15316525
What exactly did you do with those programming skillz? Did you dev a videogame, generic smartphone apps, what?

[Anonymous No.15316745]

>>15316607
If you are asking what is needed to start making money off programming, just make a simple website and present yourself on the interview as willing to learn anything new.
I did that on march of march of last year, changed jobs 3 times since and now I'm making 4 times more.

[Anonymous No.15316853]

3D women are NOT important!

[Anonymous No.15317154]

>>15300481
Tfw no sister to be my practice girlfriend.
Why even live?

[Anonymous No.15317753]

When the wind puts its yellow under on the pouting no more of truncate the peopl mouthing histrionic dick head cock truncate the cock i lipless mutter smooth and the balls wormless to make a cake and bake it and eat oh you pushing always on truncate the cock i past it already did you truncate the cock I master and truncate the cock moping through dead prison room where truncate the cock allowed the you to put sharding glass outside the simp loose The Munsters are munchausens by proxy to truncate the cock you hip me well you fuse treading hypno getter truncate

[Anonymous No.15317866]

I'm trying to remember that word that ends with "-cracy" I think, and it means a business or government or business passed down from father to son. Maybe it's not a word with "-cracy" in it afterall, but it means a process of passing a job position or maybe a reign from father to son. It's not "monarchy". Fuck I'm drunk.

[Anonymous No.15317924]

i will upload more horses enjoying the sunset to my folder soon

[Anonymous No.15317928]

>>15317866
oh right, nepotism. DIsregard my post.

[Anonymous No.15318009]

>>15317928
from father to son is Hereditary. nepotism is planting your relatives (in a wider sense anyone from your circle) in some positions (like your helpers, workers, co-rulers, et c) instead of actually competent people

[Anonymous No.15318525]

I want my work to be charming but I'm not sure how to go about it. is it just solid world building or maybe it's writing that is self congratulatory and whimsical? Any thoughts or ideas on this?

[Anonymous No.15318637]

>>15313263
higher res

[Anonymous No.15318757]

>>15318637
thanks

[Anonymous No.15318874]

I want a 20 year old bride give her to me right now

[Anonymous No.15318898]

high and
sad and
lonely

in my room and
i think about
well, many people
and i might
love
them
all?

i don't
it's the lockdown
most of them, i
don't
or i don't
think

[Anonymous No.15318946]

I wish I could've had the chilli in my freezer for lunch but there was too much to defrost I want chilli

[Anonymous No.15318966]

>>15318946
Wrap it tight in a Ziploc/plastic wrap and dip it in warm water, it'll defrost super fast. Works well for beef and chicken too.

[Anonymous No.15318972]

The darkness that comes before is so awesome.

[Anonymous No.15319058]

I have been home for like 3 months now and it's been pretty nice so far. I don't know why all those NEET's say that it's so bad, I play my vidya, practice my guitar, study and jack off, that's what I do all the time.

The only thing I really "miss" would be a cute girl to cum into, but unless I am lying in my bed, it's not a real need.

[Anonymous No.15319784]

bump

[Anonymous No.15319801]

Listening to Varg makes me extremelly anxious and guilty that I'm dating a cute polish girl, as a brazilian male. Why do I do this to myself?

[Anonymous No.15320594]

I am starting to think that maybe the dumb dudes that are out there, in the clubs, nicht be living the real life after all.

[Anonymous No.15320660]

>>15320594
You best believe i'd swipe right.

[Anonymous No.15320727]

If you ever say anything homphobic in your life, your father's sctorum should be sliced off and twigs from tress shoveed into his asshole. That is what you fucking deserve.

[Anonymous No.15320732]

Library is closed.
No books.
I die.
bye.
k.

[Anonymous No.15320761]

>>15319801
Varg is a Jew.
He doesn't want you to jack off or date any exotic girls because he wants all your cummies for himself.

[Anonymous No.15320828]

I don't have a problem meeting women and interacting with women, I have a problem with getting them to do anything with me more than once. From the beginning of the year to when Corona-chan started getting everything locked down, I had numerous meaningful interactions with women. I had meaningful evenings with multiple women that I met while I was out and about. I even got a brunch date with one. But they don't seem to want anything to do with me after our initial contacts. When I text them after they've given me their numbers, they don't reply. I get completely forgotten about. It's very frustrating because I don't have a gf but it's absolutely not for lack of trying. And it's not because I'm repulsive, because I am, at least, good-looking and charismatic enough to reel women in for an initial encounter. I just can't keep them coming back, and I'm not quite sure why.

[Anonymous No.15320943]

>>15320594
Most of this really is just a cope. I seriously believe that most of us wouldn't be so neurotic if they had a circle of friends and a gf, and god forbit, maybe even a job.

[Anonymous No.15321004]

My life is too fucking gay.

[Anonymous No.15321081]

>>15309760
If you feel like it give me your email bro and we can be friends.

[Anonymous No.15321365]

I'm a teacher and there's this really incredible girl I'm very interested in - and as things seem, she's interested in me as well. I'm sacred, of course. I don't want it to be just another platonic love, waiting for her to find another guy that will never love her the way I do now. Sometimes I can't sleep at night. But, in the end, I value my job a lot more than a love interest.

[Anonymous No.15321472]

>>15304937
how did it end up?

[Anonymous No.15321569]

I wonder what Iraq is like this time of year

[Anonymous No.15321598]

>>15300481
FUCK GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK GOD FUCKING DAMMIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WAKE UP FROM WHAT? I ONLY SEE VOID FUCKING AIDS PIG WITH AN SCHIZO FARMER JUST FUCKING GIVE ME MY MEDS GOD DAMMIT NIGGER IT WAS NICER WHEN THEY WERE JUST SILENT AAAAAAAAAFRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

[Anonymous No.15321626]

it's getting harder to speak everyday. just now i lay on my bedroom floor thinking about the sparse moments i actually felt some enjoyment out of life.

there's nothing wrong with me. i'm young, i'm thin, i have money, etc. but there's something missing. being alive, though sedentary, is getting aggravating. nothing would satisfy me more than having the ability to look inside my mind and draw a logical conclusion. prodding around in my head like that does me no good though.

is it because i'm lonely? am i just depressed? is this what happens when i'm left alone with my own thoughts? why am i like this?

[Anonymous No.15321752]

Sex sells, as does violence. You find them both in the earliest recorded stories. The story of Gilgamesh begins with a prostitute and a fist fight, the mythology of Osiris involves murder, dismemberment, and necrophilia. Rape combines the two. Zeus was a serial rapist, and so many other legends involve a woman forced into coitus.
Sexual. Violent.
Primal.

[Anonymous No.15321761]

>>15321752
Rape.

[Anonymous No.15321771]

>>15321752
rape isn't even real violence, unless you're like cutting off her head during the act

[Anonymous No.15321959]

>>15300481
God and how to be a good person. I ought to be one.

[Anonymous No.15322037]

>>15300481
I am drifting listlessly through life and it feels as though everybody I talk to has the same sentiments. I wonder what it is about our way of life that drives us to such pointlessness and depression. I believe there exists some hostility in our current condition which drives us to this. Indeed, I have only seen one brought to despair at the prospect that they might be trapped within this cycle forever.

Perhaps some day I will escape it. Hopefully soon - before the vacuous shell collapses in on itself.

[Anonymous No.15322085]

>>15300664
I think Camus was wrong about Sisyphus. You shouldn't imagine that Sisyphus is happy with his sentence instead you should imagine that Sisyphus holds on to the possibility of one day being free. He should always hold on to that because perhaps the truth is there is no such thing as an eternity of imprisonment. Either way isn't it better to acknowledge how you truly feel deep inside than it is to just deny it and try to minimize the suffering?

[Anonymous No.15322342]

>>15322085
I don't believe in eternity. Nothing can last forever.

[Anonymous No.15322363]

>>15322342
You last forever.

[Anonymous No.15322433]

>>15322363
I die. Give it at most ~70 years and I'll be dead. My flesh will decay and my bones will age to dust. I'm impermanent

[Anonymous No.15322440]

>>15322433
You aren't your flesh anon. You are a soul that transcends this prison reality we inhabit.

[Anonymous No.15322667]

>>15306867
Post bussi

[Anonymous No.15322762]

>>15300481
She welped timidly as I stepped on her vagina again.

[Anonymous No.15322775]

I need a hobby that isn't reading books

[Anonymous No.15322789]

only really care about three things: art, kpop, and simone weil

[Anonymous No.15322842]

>>15300481
I'm smoking the stinking butt of a cigarette that's in all likelihood drenched in my own piss. I can't stop losing. I'm not pretending there's no value in anything anymore. Call me quits or anything else that's not my name. I hate the word I just like I hate this piss soaked cigarette. It doesn't taste bad; stale as hell but I can deal with that. It's an old friend right? Those friends deserve a modicum of my time at least, it doesn't mean I have to enjoy it. I, I, I. It's all that can be talked about at this point. No grand discourse on meaning or perception, what a fucking moot point that is. I'll move on to a swisher sweet soon and smoke my own poverty. It has a taste, more than that fucking old friend.

[Anonymous No.15322895]

Old memes. YOU DUN GOOFED. Simpler times..

[Anonymous No.15323256]

>>15321365
high school teacher???

[Anonymous No.15323274]

>>15300644
Reread the first book of the republic, especially it's ending. Maybe you are asking the wrong question.

[Anonymous No.15323285]

>>15321771
mind if i rape you without causing injury?

[Anonymous No.15323300]

>>15322667
It's just a hairy cunt with with an inchlong clit, my friend
I'm not one of the """gay""" ones so i don't try to make my body fuckable

[Anonymous No.15323368]

>>15300481
Yesterday I got off work, and after a long day I went to watch the sun set on the water, because that's when the fish take their dinner, popping out of the glassy surface to eat the bugs drifting down from above. The water is black in its reflection of the trees, but when the fish jump they make little golden explosions, and it's beautiful. It's a violent act, a necessary act, a simple transfer of energy from one life to another, but the unremarkable beauty of it brings me joy. It helps me sleep at night knowing that in all this chaos, a little function of the world still works just fine. I love the bugs, I love the fish, and I love the reflection of the trees. I love the lake and everything it speaks. I treasure it's mundane reassurances.

[Anonymous No.15323386]

>>15323285
tbqh go ahead

[Anonymous No.15323701]

>>15323368
laked and pondpilled

[Anonymous No.15323710]

>>15320828
What do you mean by "meaningful interaction"? It sounds like you put too much weight on ordinary interactions and this probably creeps women out.

[Anonymous No.15323809]

>>15323368
What an epic post.

[Anonymous No.15323815]

>>15323368
You wouldn't happen to be of Hispanic descent, would you?

[Anonymous No.15323830]

>>15323710
I mean we exchanged numbers and even texted back and forth a few times. I've done this with various women, but they always inevitably stop responding to me after a while.

Maybe I do come on too strongly and creep them out. It's entirely possible. Maybe they're also looking me up on social media and seeing my weird posts, it's happened before.

[Anonymous No.15323840]

>>15323830
Oh yeah dude, that's a massive L. You can never reveal your true power level on social media. Hoes really take that shit seriously.

Also in regards to texting back and forth, my advice is to start slowly. People always get worried about the friendzone but honestly, if you can't be friends with a girl how the hell are you gonna date one?

[Anonymous No.15323849]

>>15323830
>Maybe they're also looking me up on social media and seeing my weird posts, it's happened before.
I have no clue whether this is the cause of your current problems, although if it's happened before, then it really could happen again. But in general, removing the boundary between your internet life and your real one is a stunningly idiotic practice that's become scarily normalized. It's not your fault -- it's the culture we live in and the parents that stopped telling their kids to never put their personal info online. Any public-facing social media of yours should contain solely the most unbearable normalfaggotry. Save any edgy or even unorthodox opinions and hobbies (defined as anything at least as weird as watching anime) for pseudonymous and anonymous communities if you're gonna post about them online.

[Anonymous No.15323865]

>>15323849
>>15323849
Basically this. You gotta delete all your weird posts, my guy. You can posts memes and whatnot but that's about it. If you really feel the need to express yourself publicly, create a finsta or an alt-identity on some forums or whatever.

[Anonymous No.15324229]

I wish I could take all my outrage out on that wetback and that slant eye and turdk. I would keep them imprisoned inthe basement and starve and torture them till they die oif pain. I'd shoot their eyes out of their head.

[Anonymous No.15324253]

.

[Anonymous No.15324348]

I cant feel normal until i know whats going on. People are reading this, watching what i do online and responding to it indirectly. Well, why dont you fucking man up and tell me wtf your problem with me is. Why am i not allowed any privacy and what have i done thats so bad that you think this is justified, huh?

[Anonymous No.15324363]

Over the past few years I've become a shell of a human heing. I hate I've allowed myself to become like this. I'm unmoving, unable to take responsibility for my predicament. You could compare it to a boat who's letting the waves take it wherever it wants. Fully aware of my shortcomings, I'm not doing a lot about it. I fool myself into thinking I'll never be able to live a life that I would find fulfilling, it takes too much effort and when have you shown any effort? I'm a waste of a human being. I never take any of my goals serious enough, commit to them, it's like a chronic disease.

Ok now play vidya right :^)

[Anonymous No.15324368]

>>15324348
Ive tried ignoring it again, but well that didnt really work out did it. Im so fkn tired of this shit always being on the back of my mind when im doing other stuff. I dont even know anymore, do you really wanna drive me into paranoia to the point where i have to be taken to a mental hospital? Stay the fuck out of my accounts and personal preferences

[Anonymous No.15324373]

Constantly clouding my thoughts with things that don't have any effect on my life because the opposite is even harder. Makes my brain deteriorate

[Anonymous No.15324391]

>>15324368
People joining the servers im on is creepy as hell as well. Ffs why does no one seem to realize how fucked up this feels to me. Im not purposely ignoring anyone, i know full well what im doing but it doesnt feel right at all. I cant stay quiet and act like i dont see anything, i really cant.

[Anonymous No.15324436]

>>15324391
I just wish i could talk about this to anyone, without them thinking im delusional or psychotic. Having this run through my head all the time sort of separates it from my daily reality automatically. I dont want to take it seriously cause if i do i start panicking. I mean, no one likes the feeling of people going through your most personal stuff. Why do streamers always hide their personal life, not cause they have anything to hide but because it feels wrong to have it out there for anyone to see and judge without you being able to respond to it. That feels degrading, and can really start messing with the way you see people close to you. Well, why would it be any different for me? Im just an overly emotional guy trying to find a comfortable spot for myself within society, and this certainly doesnt contribute to me reaching that goal.

[Anonymous No.15324491]

>>15324436
It doesnt matter, its not gonna stop so i suppose i should accept it as part of my life from now on, as fucked up as it might be. Ill try talking to experts once the lockdown is over but i dont have high hopes

[Anonymous No.15324532]

>>15324491
Or how about those people worrying about the apps for tracking the corona spread invading peoples privacy, they feel the same way. Ive thought i was just overreacting, but im really not, most people care about privacy, or if they think they dont they do after they experience what its like not to have it.

[Anonymous No.15324566]

Over the past few months a friend and I have been using heroin and crack. We managed to get our foot into the underbelly of our town, and have found a way to source both of the drugs with minimal effort (mostly by paying homeless people a fiver to act as middle-men).

I have no real desire to take either drug again - it's been about eight weeks since I last indulged - but I would kinda like to write a short story from the perspective of a middle-class person getting slowly introduced to this world. The trouble is that I think it'd come across as me LARPing about my experiences - somehow it'd be branded try-hard and inauthentic - and I don't know how to get around that.

[Anonymous No.15324748]

Im probably just "that annoying crazy dude" even though thats not how i feel. That aside, im not trying to fingerpoint at anyone cause i dont know whats going on, i just feel very alone with this problem and theres no way to get any closure, certainty or relief. Thats what makes me so restless

[Anonymous No.15324870]

>>15324532
What's exactly the problem, who's watching you and where?

[Anonymous No.15324948]

>>15300481
I just want to be a good person and trust God's plan but I can't get over my past and I feel so guilty I don't think I'll ever get a good husband aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Anonymous No.15324963]

>>15324948
plus other Christians terrify me because I'm scared of judgement

[Anonymous No.15325097]

>>15323815
No. I am Ashkenazi.

[Anonymous No.15325175]

>>15324870
I dunno, but apparently resistance is futile which btw is a completely normal thing to show up in my youtube feed at exactly this time even though its a 3 year old video thats not even that popular, and it makes no sense after all the rest that ive seen. Nothing to worry about, right

[Anonymous No.15325224]

>>15325175
I don't follow your thoughts man. Who's watching what you do online and responding to it indirectly? Do you know them personally or do you mean in the sense of data analysis? Who's joining servers you're on?

[Anonymous No.15325234]

>>15325175
And the best thing about all this, is that whenever i wanna take my mind off things and watch some youtube videos or play games, there'll always be that one little thing thats too coincidental, but also not enough to completely tip my scales. Instead it goes into my subconscious and appears in my dreams in the form of nightmares about persecution and running away from danger i cant see. Only to wake up, wanting to take my mind off things again, starting the cycle over again. Its great, nice prospects for the future

[Anonymous No.15325247]

Right now, my girlfriend and I are self-isolating ourselves in our small University town where all our other friends have left. I still have my own flat a 5 minute walk away, but I 'm living at her place right now. We've been having a shit ton of arguments recently, so I proposed to her yesterday the idea that I'd move back to mine and we'd visit each other during the day instead of our current arrangement, so we get some alone time that we haven't gotten. She completely unleashed at me, saying how dare I even ask such a thing. I spoke about it at length, and I told her all I wanted was for her to discuss the idea of it, not necesarily entertain it, and if she was reluctant to do so we should break up. She walked out the door without saying anything, and now we're broken up. She's messaged me 121 times since last night (when she left) asking me why I'm not talking to her. I'm fed up.

[Anonymous No.15325265]

>>15325224
I think you'd have to be me to understand what im trying to tell everyone around me for months. Im not one for conspiracy theories, and usually im really skeptical and try to work through things rationally, but this i have no explanation for, other than theres people who got access to my router traffic and are able to intercept all i do and type and watch and share and comment and play. Ive tried everything to ascribe this to pure chance and coincidence but it cant be

[Anonymous No.15325303]

>>15325265
Yeah man it's hard to understand for me. You have any examples of situations?

[Anonymous No.15325326]

>>15325265
In the same way 99% of people's online traffic is not too difficult to access?
You are not alone in this. There would have to be significant motivation for someone to dig through your asmr playlist history

[Anonymous No.15325354]

>>15325303
Too many to think of all at once. Theres so much stuff id have to explain first for any of it to make sense, just dont worry about it. If you have to ask, dont worry about it

[Anonymous No.15325355]

>>15325326
>>15325365
And start changing the content of the sites you visit too, for a longer period of time without getting almost anything from it? For that to be interesting to someone you have to be in a very special position

[Anonymous No.15325365]

>>15325354
Hope you'll be alright man, don't let it make you crazy :^)

[Anonymous No.15325376]

>>15325326
Is that supposed to make me feel even worse? Cause if so its working

[Anonymous No.15325478]

>>15325326
And to be able to inject single videos into someone's youtube recommendations, that must be normal as well then? Or someone anonymously posting in some random thread, and still feeling like there's people watching, thats also normal of course. Special or not, its not a position i wanna be in period. I wanna be able to decide what others can see and what they have no business with, like 99% of the other people

[Anonymous No.15325579]

>>15325247
probably for the best, if such shit like you described happens earlier on it's best to cut it off before it turns into something more nastier

[Anonymous No.15325586]

I cant get it into my head how someone expects to have a normal discussion when ive tried to explain i really dont like this at all so many times. Its fkn creepy as hell and i feel like shit. How is this gonna go in the future then? How can i ever trust anything someone says on here or in some other place? Just put everything else aside for a moment and think about how i would feel right now, how can you still just make up some story that vaguely resembles your side of the argument. Im just mad that no one seems to acknowledge that this is a pretty fucked up situation and that its gonna take a while for me to regain my trust in people.

[Anonymous No.15325620]

>>15325586
And now i have to get back to whatever i was doing and trust that nothing will be used against me later on? Another sarcastic remark showing that what i feared was true would be appreciated as well. Maybe along with a dfw picture why not

[Anonymous No.15325649]

>>15325620
Or maybe play another unstable ghoul in hs

[Anonymous No.15325669]

>>15325649
I can see the "ghoul combo broken" thumbnail already

[Anonymous No.15325767]

>>15325669
Dont worry dude just put on some music, not on youtube though otherwise youll see either the live chill beats to relax and study to or the andy weatherall mix video. Dont talk to your sister in front of your pc either otherwise youll see the carrie and lowell thing again and thatll ruin the rest of your day. Dont play cs either otherwise lil prostate will come to spec you and in battlegrounds theres gonna be a bunch of usernames youve either seen before or seem to relate to this thing youve got in your head. But its ok, you can trust everything they say