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/lit/ - Literature

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15176698 No.15176698 [Reply] [Original]

>searching for fiction writing advice
>"show don't tell"
>I'm using naration to tell a story how could I show things
>mfw

>> No.15176708

>>15176698
"Show not tell" is bullshit advice peddled by people who grew up in the age of cinema/television

>> No.15176722

>>15176708
True

>> No.15176748

>>15176698
Structure your story, write character sheets for every single character regardless of how "minor", then structure the acts and scenes, THEN write the scenes with beautiful prose.
That's literally it, do that for any and everything you write. It's the prose that makes the work unique and where your artistic talents comes through. The structure of the story and the scenes makes the story worth reading, invokes emotional experience in the reader, and makes the reader want to continue reading.
This is literally all you need for every single piece of fiction you will ever write. It's not easy tho. And no, I haven't written a single thing, that doesn't matter at all, the advice is objectively correct regardless.

>> No.15176794

>>15176698
Open hearing the bad news, the CEO was angry.

Upon hearing the bad news, the CEO’s blood boiled and his fists clenched. His face twisted into something that was almost demonic.

Which one sounds better to you?

>> No.15176807

>>15176794
>Open hearing the bad news, the CEO was angry.
*upon hearing

>> No.15176851

>>15176748
Thanks, I'll use this

>> No.15176887

>>15176794
The second one sounds like it was written for kids

>> No.15176896

>>15176794
The first example sounds better.

>> No.15176916

>>15176698
It means, you don’t want it to sound like a philosophy or law paper. You don’t want it to be boring.

>> No.15176923

>>15176748
The only people who do this are genre writers.

>> No.15176927

>>15176794
The CEO slapped his secretary. Not shooting the messenger was not his philosophy - If you can't shoot the messenger, then what's the point of the gun?

>> No.15176938

>>15176927
>double negative
Are you a slav?

>> No.15176948

>>15176794
Less is more anon. The first one is better.

>> No.15176972

>>15176916
A good rule of thumb I have is if it reads like a summary on cliff notes, then the writing is subpar

>> No.15177002
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15177002

>>15176794
>all these pseuds getting filtered by books any longer than 150 pages being the judge of anything

>> No.15177013

>>15176794
First is too simple.
Second is too long.

Let me show you:
>Upon hearing the news, the CEO's fists clenched.

>> No.15177061

>>15177013
This. Also the demonic line is still telling.

>> No.15177201

>>15176923
So what?

>> No.15177237

>>15177201
Genre writers are (with very few exceptions) bad writers.

>> No.15177261

>>15176794
upon hearing the bad news, the ceo got to feelin prettyyyy demented

>> No.15177271

>>15176794
Top tier bait

>> No.15177391

>>15177237
thats not true, the hell

>> No.15177860

>>15176927
Based and redpilled.

>> No.15177958
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15177958

>>15176794
The CEO was given the bad news and he sharply inhaled through his nostrils in anger and spat on the bearer

>> No.15178678

>>15176698
Know how to balance it.
GRRM shows more than he tells, as a result his books are longer than they need to be.
If you tell more than you show, it ends up feeling soulless, except in some very specific cases that you will recognize when it shows up.

>> No.15178704

>>15176794
too long.

CEO kept hearing bad news because he was an angry demon.

>> No.15180245

don't "character is lazy"
do "character [does thing that depicts him as lazy]"

>> No.15180249

>>15176698

Show it when its good, tell it when it's funny.

You can smooth out most of a narrative by following that shorthand rule.

>> No.15180262

>>15176748

Your advice is objectively bad.

Here is good advice;

Write a really bad book and then fix it. Then, write another really bad book, and fix that one too. Then repeat it a third time

Once you're on your fourth book, you'll find you aren't really making any mistakes anymore.

Spend some money and hire an editor. There's no better way to stop making stupid mistakes than having a dumb-ass editor point them out to you over and over again.

>> No.15180272

>>15176794

"What?" The CEO said, coming to an immediate stop, "He did what!"

>> No.15180275

>>15176794
>Which one sounds better to you
the first one

>> No.15180589

>>15176698
>catalogue of past events
>overwrought blog posting
>the x y-ed, the x had y-ed,

>>15176794
They're both substandard.
>The CEO exploded apopleptic at the news.
>The CEO's face twisted into a demonic visage at the news, and he clenched his fists to temper his blood rapidly boiling over.

>>15176927
>a few hours later . . .
>You can go ANYWHERE with a car . . .
kek
>"Shoot the messenger first, ask questions later." was the CEO's credo, one now branded into the secretary's complexion. Before Samuel Colt, the bitch slap was The Great Equalizer. This wasn't either's first rodeo, and the Clown must know its place.

>> No.15180610

unless I'm misunderstanding, show don't tell does not divide into long vs. simple. you can use narration in a very long-winded way vs. showing in a very direct way.
>My brother was only eight years old when he began reading the works of Tolstoy. He loved fictional worlds of all kinds, and despised anything that might be considered close to nonfiction.
>At night, I often found my brother with his head bowed over a five-pound book, exploring imaginary worlds within the comfort of his footie pajamas.
similar information is found here but in different ways

>> No.15180629

>>15176794
Or
>Upon hearing the news the window cracked leaving only a single heel

>> No.15181026

>>15176698
I doubt anyone is going to read this, but there are two things I've learned about the "show and tell" rule:

1. The default way of presenting a story is actually by telling. You only show those things which are absolutely necessary for emotional effect and summarize the rest. Emotional impact is heightened when the reader is able to vicariously experience the events of the story, thus selection of those events is of absolute importance.

2. In order for the reader to live vicariously through your writing, you must "show" in such a way as to capture his attention. Two things in particular strongly attract the reader's attention: novelty and authority. Novelty is straightforward, it encompasses things like surprise and contradiction. Authority is more complex, it is the quality of verisimilitude, that feeling of "yes, this is how things really are" even (especially) when the reader has no clue about the thing in question.

So take >>15176794 as an example (which I'm sure is bait, but instructive nonetheless).

The first is clearly telling, and this may be completely fine. The CEO's anger may not be something which you wish the reader to experience vicariously, but is necessary to establish for some other effect. In which case, you should summarize.

The second, however, tries to show, but fails because of the reasons outlined in #2. It is neither novel nor authoritative. The reader has seen boiling blood and clenched fists in print a thousand times before, and "almost demonic" displays a limp-wristed authority which bores and irritates. In other words, it's actually another kind of summary.

An description of anger with the intention of vicarious experience (and ignoring matters of flow) might look something like:

>Upon hearing the bad news, the CEO snatched the closest thing he could find--the mug of pens on the table--walked over to the window, unhooked the latch, swung open the pane and threw the mug as hard as he could into the street. The mug corkscrewed, spitting sharpies and colorful highlighters and jumbo-sized paper clips like grenade shrapnel, before dropping down three stories into rush hour traffic.

>> No.15181055

>>15176794
they could both be good depending on what you're trying to achieve. the first seems part of a recap, maybe told by another chartacter, or just the introduction to something else possibly delayed in time
the second could be used for dramatic effect, preluding some action. it could also be used for comedic effect depending on the story, because this guy seems about to have a stroke
>>15176698
this is indeed a very stupid advice when applied to fiction writing, but my take on it is that I'd avoid endless descriptions, for example of clothing and environments, like many 19th century's writers did, but that's just me because I usually find them quite boring and end up speedreading them because they don't add anything to the story other than maybe visualizing the person in it's entirety

>> No.15181062

>>15176698
I'm not gonna read the rest of the thread because reading is for squares, but show don't tell is advice for screenwriting and filmmaking, not literature.