The Roastie

[Anonymous No.15031670]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
over many a quaint and curious profile of a tinder whore—
while I read it, nearly swiping, suddenly I spied her typing,
"Kids? Still want them!" starts the griping, "even though I'm 34."
"Tis impossible," I muttered "having kids at 34."
Chance of offspring: nevermore.

Ah, remember without hinder it was in the app of Tinder;
Though it once was known as Grinder, just for gays it was no more.
Eagerly I wished the qt;—vainly I had sought for booty
An heir to sire's my duty —sire an heir in my Lenore—
Alas, the radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Tfw for evermore.

And the sad, uncertain rustling of my pant fly whilst the tightening
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic qt's never known before;
So that now, to still the beating of my dong, I stood repeating
all along that one day my Lenore would be mine for evermore—
But for now the roastie's bleating for acceptance 'spite her eating;—
Dear God dating is a chore.

At that point my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Lol,” said I, “m'lady, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was jerking, so unless you would be working
with ovaries that aren't lurking 'on the corner with a whore,
Then leave my DM's before," I said, "I put you through a door"—
Silence then and nothing more.

Deep in that inbox staring, long I sat there waiting, caring,
for naught but the prospect of a girl who's truly not a whore;
But the silence then was broken and like a harpy she had spoken,
For the beast had I awoken when she said the word, “deplore.”
"Deplore," she said, "your kind, for I have something in mind for you, you boar—
have sex incel, and nothing more."

Back into the DM's turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I felt a longing somewhat stronger than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something you cannot mean;
Especially when it is seen the roast beef in your vagene
Let your tongue be still this instant and your interest in me explore
only thus: nevermore.
Alright you guys finish it.

[Anonymous No.15031705]

>>15031670
posting in epic bread

[Anonymous No.15031710]

>>15031670
include me in the screencap

[Anonymous No.15031717]

>>15031710

[Anonymous No.15031867]

>>15031670
Open here I tapped the application, when, with many a flirt and trepidation,
On there was a stately whore of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least beauty had she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, displaying on my telephone screen—
With a smaller bust than Pallas just on my telephone screen—
Whorish, and fat, and nothing more.

Then this corpulent sow beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the vile and gleeful decorum of the countenance it wore,
“Though thy breasts be large and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient whore wandering from the Tinder's shore—
Tell me what thy slutty name is in this Weimar Republic's shore!”
Quoth the sow “I'm a whore.”

Much I marvelled this obese cow to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing whore on his telephone screen—
Cunt with yeast upon the small rectangle glowing against his chamber floor,
With such name as “Tinder Whore.”

But the whore, sitting lonely on the little screen, spoke only
Those words, as if her soul in them she did outpour.
Nothing farther then she uttered—not roll of blubber she fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other men she's has blown before—
On the morrow she will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”
Then the pig said “I'm a whore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only cock and bore
Caught from some unhappy fornicator whom plentiful semen
Followed fast and followed faster till her songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of her Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of ‘I'm a-I'm a whore’.”

But the whore still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight my cock was for the slut, and bust and ass;
Then, upon thinking of her cunt sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous skank of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, fat, and ominous harlot of yore
Meant in croaking “I'm a whore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the sow whose fiery eyes now burned into my penile core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the screen-light gloated o’er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the screen-light gloating o’er,
She shall press, ah, what fucking whore!

[Anonymous No.15031870]

>>15031867

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Kardashian whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Slut,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these thots he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of that whore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost whore!”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

“Cunt!” said I, “thing of cumsluttery!—prophet still, if slut or devil!—
Whether rejection sent, or whether rejection tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by pornhub haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in tradgfs?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

“Cunt!” said I, “thing of cock-choking!—prophet still, if slut or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul, it's in your duty, if, I shall find a beauty,
It shall clasp a sainted qt who is not at all whore—
Clasp a rare and radiant qt who is not at all a whore.”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, slut or cunt!” I shrieked, upstarting—
“Get thee back into the Tinder and the Weimar Republic's shore!
Leave no reddit meme as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my jerk-off sesh unbroken!—send me another text no more!
Take thy beef from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

And the whore, never flitting, still is shitting, still is sitting
On the glowing screen of Tinder just upon my bedroom's floor;
And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the semen o’er her streaming throws its shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—She was a whore!

[Anonymous No.15031889]

>>15031867
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Kardashian whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Slut,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee—by these thots he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of that whore;
Queef, oh queef this kind nepenthe and forget this lost whore!”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

“Cunt!” said I, “thing of cumsluttery!—prophet still, if slut or devil!—
Whether rejection sent, or whether rejection tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by pornhub haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in tradgfs?—tell me—tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

“Cunt!” said I, “thing of cock-choking!—prophet still, if slut or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul, it's in your duty, if, I shall find a beauty,
It shall clasp a sainted qt who is not at all whore—
Clasp a rare and radiant qt who is not at all a whore.”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, slut or cunt!” I shrieked, upstarting—
“Get thee back into the Tinder and the Weimar Republic's shore!
Leave no reddit meme as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my jerk-off sesh unbroken!—send me another text no more!
Take thy beef from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the Raven “I'm a whore.”

And the whore, never flitting, still is shitting, still is sitting
On the glowing screen of Tinder just upon my bedroom's floor;
And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the semen o’er her streaming throws its shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—She was a whore!

[Anonymous No.15032651]

>>15031670
>>15031867
>>15031889
Based effortposter.

[Anonymous No.15033123]

>>15031670
Get laid.

[Anonymous No.15033342]

>>15033123
Uh hello? Cringe department?

[Anonymous No.15033398]

>>15033342
Kill yourself,along along with your faggot ass adulescent humour

this shit is the type of thing that "tfw to intelligent" teenagers would come up with.
grow the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.15033407]

>>15033398
Why do you have a compulsive need to "burn" people on the internet anon?

[Anonymous No.15033418]

>>15033407
I find this thread unsufferable and I explained why.

[Anonymous No.15033439]

>>15033398
>adulescent

[Anonymous No.15033453]

Attention, this is a reddit thread.
Reddit bugmen relate to tinder. I never installed it. The based department suggests immediately aborting this abomination.

[Anonymous No.15033454]

>>15033439
English is not my first language,I fuck up sometimes.
Thread is still retarded.

[Anonymous No.15033471]

>>15033418
>unsufferable

[Anonymous No.15033474]

>>15033454
>English is not my first language
not a valid excuse, especially when you proceed to deride OP for being a midwit in that same post
>>15033398

[Anonymous No.15033478]

>>15031717
Should be swapped to be honest

[Anonymous No.15033491]

>>15033398
>adulescent
Kek what third world shithole are you from faggot?

[Anonymous No.15033495]

>>15033474
Minor spelling fuckups are not the same as being a retard that acts like an highschooler.

[Anonymous No.15033501]

>>15033491
Italy,dick hoarder.

[Anonymous No.15033693]

>>15033398
shut up terrone

[Anonymous No.15033711]

>>15033693
I'm an actual "terrone",I lol'd