Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.14786780]

Just came back from a store where I asked a cute girl if she had whatsapp. She said she had deleted all her social media accounts (which was a total lie), so I left. This must be the first time in years that I talk to a girl like that outside of the internet, it was a failed attempt but I'm happy that I did it. Wish I had a friend to share this, but /lit/ will have to suffice.

[Anonymous No.14787017]

AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRGGGGGGGGGGAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH AUUUUUUUEARRARRARAGAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG EYEEEARARAAUAAAUAAUAEARARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AUUUUUUUEAUGUGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Anonymous No.14787350]

Women can smell that you care. Don't psyche yourself up to talk to that perfect girl like an animu, hit on anything remotely attractive to you. Not only will you have more dates/fucks than you'll know what to do with, you'll consistently get dates/fucks with girls you'd think are completely out of your league. I'm convinced Chad is just delusion/narcissism.

[Anonymous No.14787366]

>>14786780
Lent is upon us. Time to lent food and sensual desires. Who is with me?

[Anonymous No.14787445]

>>14787350
Does that work for you?

[Anonymous No.14787742]

I'll be leaving for some time. I'll be back one day, or maybe not. /lit/ is a pretty terrible place, but I loved you all for it. Goodbye.

[Anonymous No.14787759]

>>14786780
Same. But I work along side the girl I asked out. It's terrible seeing her. I wish I would never see her again.
>>14787742
Same also. I successfully stopped coming here for a few weeks. Then came back in the past 2 days. I'm going to leave again. I'm better off away from here.

[Anonymous No.14787813]

>>14787759
I was gone for the entirety of last year, but came back to check in at the start of the month and have been here daily since. I don't even like it here, it makes me feel miserable, but there is something strangely alluring about it as well

[Anonymous No.14787845]

>>14787366
Im in it with you, anon. Planning on rereading Augustine's confessions during this time. You have any literature that is pro-asceticism?

[Anonymous No.14787892]

>>14787366
>devote your life to painting like the old italian masters
>still be immediately recognizable as a modern imitator because you look at so much porn that every time you paint a woman it comes out looking like a porno photoshoot

[Anonymous No.14787952]

she wanted me to dance with her

[Anonymous No.14787955]

>>14787892
>Rembrandt van Coomer

[Anonymous No.14787982]

>>14787366
Giving up the weed the vidya and the 4chan. Hopefully make the 4chan forever gone.

[Anonymous No.14788012]

>>14787445
Yes, and I'm not super attractive either. Just look at a girl, and say "fuck it" and hit on her. What you say is irrelevant, she probably knew if it's a yes or no before you say your first word.

[Anonymous No.14788029]

ever since i lost my virginity and gone thru the myriad of women i did in my, uhm, whore ish period, i haven't given a shit about em. no sex, no dating, nothing. it's not to say i don't necessarily want a gf, but i also don't not want one. sure life would be better(?) with someone to tell me i matter but i want my ego to die. i want to look at the world with the wonder of a child and accept nothing as a gift or positive reinforcement. i want to be completely selfless. i want to continue being physically fit and continue with my ambitions in my career. i want friends to do stuff with and spend time.
but i don't know if i want a girl. the whole idea of "wanting someone" seems so weird to me. i don't deserve another human being, i think. i don't know if i ever will. i have an ideal of what i want from a girl, but i don't know if i want the girl itself. y should i? what have i done to deserve it?
it's all a load of shit. this want for a girl is like death, the only difference being death hangs over all of us like the sky and this ideal that i'm not sure i want sits in front of me like an invisible target on the horizon.
i don't doubt my ability to get a girl, that's easy. do i deserve another human being to be devoted to me? no, i don't think so. that's so outlandish, it'd be nice, but as my own god i cannot allow it for i have failed my own judgement.

[Anonymous No.14788041]

existence is pain but i don't want to bring pain to other people by ending it all.
ironic that the only way to end all the pain is to shoulder it off onto others. i'm too weak for this game and i don't want to play anymore

[Anonymous No.14788051]

>>14788029
>Dear diary,
>today was my 13th birthday and i've come to some realizations...

[Anonymous No.14788077]

>>14788029
"Ego death" is an ego trip.

[Anonymous No.14788086]

>>14786780
Is that a Manet?

[Anonymous No.14788129]

Maybe I am the baddie.

[Anonymous No.14788142]

>>14788041
Strange, I can't remember posting this.

[Anonymous No.14788218]

When I experience the potential of the human mind and body, I cringe at my wasted years.

[Anonymous No.14788347]

My weakness disgusts me.
Every time I start to believe there's some merit to my existence, or a sliver of a chance to escape from my wholly self-inflicted misery, I fall back into the same old self-sabotaging patterns. All I want is to not be a disappointment.

[Anonymous No.14788381]

What is the closest human political ideology to the kingdom of God? It seems like communism (no private property, no family, end of history, etc.) but with God as an absolute monarch.

[Anonymous No.14788735]

What do you guys think of sestinas as a poetic form

[Anonymous No.14788750]

>>14787955
kek

[Anonymous No.14788769]

I hate anime but I love anime at the same time.

[Anonymous No.14788788]

>>14788012
>>14787350
okay but I still want a oneitis, like I don't want to just fuck and having meaningless relationships/sex, I want to have one woman in my life who is so important I could live the rest of my life with her

[Anonymous No.14788906]

This is the next century, and the Universal's free

[Anonymous No.14789192]

I walked up to this guy sitting down in the park, and I said to him "you are not really here," and he vanished.

[Anonymous No.14789205]

>>14789192
based

[Anonymous No.14789226]

I don't wanna die from a fucking virus. I hate myself for fantasizing about suicide. I want to be a better man, but I am afraid I won't have the chance now, in a month I will be infected, by looking how quickly it spreads. We really start to cherish life when it is too late, we never learn when it's time. Too distracted to believe in ones mortality. Also just ended The Briflef and wondurous life of Oscar Wao and it was great.

[Anonymous No.14789235]

I am powerful. I am united. I am destined to succeed and excel. I am the descendant of Greeks, Romans, Ottomans, Persians and Huns. I am wealthy. I am ascending to my throne at this very moment. I am made of steel. I embody beauty. I am a magnet for success. My goals will be accomplished. I am noble. I consume and experience only the best. I turn negativity directed towards me into positivity. Those who try to pull me down motivate me even more. I am a leader. I lead the young to a better place. I am inspirational. I am great. I am happiness. I am brave. I am courage. I am happily and easily bringing respect to my name. I am happily and easily lifting my family name up to the skies. I can now see my name on every corner in the city.

[Anonymous No.14789254]

>>14787350
>dude just have casual meaningless sex with whores lmao

[Anonymous No.14789269]

The contraction of muscles and abnormal breath in response to stimuli isn't funny.

[Anonymous No.14789305]

This is an incredibly high school tier question, but I wonder if the (ideal) human body is only considered beautiful because the ones who judge its beauty are humans themselves. Is religion/God the only way to establish a standard of beauty/aesthetics that does not hinge on the observers bias?

[Anonymous No.14789329]

I have a headache, likely due to withdrawals from amphetamines. When I get home I'll take 30 more milligrams and that'll most likely make me feel a lot better.

I wish these headaches weren't accompanied with feelings of sexual frustration. It makes no fucking sense that I even think about this shit anymore; it makes even less sense that it bothers me to the point of causing physical distress.

Fucking Christ I am so goddamn sick of feeling lonely.

[Anonymous No.14789340]

>>14788788
Hey friend. I had a oneitis too. Last year of middle school, all through high school and first year of college. We went to prom together, had me my first kiss with her. We ALMOST started dating in college and she cut it off. Told her I need space and cut contact for a year, grew into my own, met other girls, lost my virginity, got a gf, and got involved in extracurriculars. After breaking up with my gf of 2 years, I hit up oneitis just to get my mind off my ex and, idk, get some feminine energy in my life? Whatever, flash forward to last weekend, I fucked her brains out and she admitted she was catching feelings. We aren’t gonna date cause distance (both seniors). Do not let oneitis inhibit your growth. She’ll have infinitely more respect for you if you move on. I’m not saying cold turkey, in fact I regret doing so myself, but holding out for a crumb on one girls pussy is not gonna attract her. If you MUST cold turkey to get over, like I did, then do it. Please bro, do not fall for oneitis meme. The secret to conquering oneitis is recognizing she doesn’t exist, dissociate that platonic ideal you’ve built up about this girl and stop using her as a benchmark (I know you do this, I did this). Conquer

[Anonymous No.14789347]

I'm really considering turning back to Christianity. I read that thread on Maximus the Confessor in awe and I want more. Soon I will read Confessions, which I expect to be very compelling because others have attested as much. I'm currently reading A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and I have never read a description of Hell so vivid and frightening.

[Anonymous No.14789354]

AHHH fuck writing proofs

[Anonymous No.14789373]

>>14788788
>>14789340
I need to work on my reading comprehension. I thought you were saying you HAD a oneitis. And no you don’t want one. Regardless, I hope any anons get anything out of my story though

[Anonymous No.14789376]

>>14787017
Yeah me too.

[Anonymous No.14789397]

>>14786780
tiddies

[Anonymous No.14789398]

>>14789373
Can confirm that oneitis is absolute cancer. Of course, I still entertain the idea of getting with women I obsessed over when I was younger (especially now that I'm single and feeling lonely as fuck), but at least now it doesn't seem like there is only one girl on Earth I am allowed to love.

[Anonymous No.14789431]

Does higher intelligence mean more legal rights? In practice, bugs and plants have absolutely no legal rights, whereas higher intelligent animals do, and humans have the highest legal rights. So, if we encountered an alien species would we have to give them even higher legal rights than us, because that's the logical conclusion to our current practice?

[Anonymous No.14789562]

>>14789431
>even higher legal rights

I know you're extremely stoned right now, but unless you can elaborate on what "even higher legal rights" means, then what you wrote is utter nonsense.

[Anonymous No.14789588]

>>14789431
Not "legal rights", but I'll just leave this quote from Hume:

"Were there a species of creatures, intermingled with men, which, though rational, were possessed of such inferior strength, both of body and mind, that they were incapable of all resistance, and could never, upon the high-est provocation, make us feel the effects of their resentment; the necessary consequence, I think, is, that we should be bound, by the laws of humanity, to give gentle usage to these creatures, but should not, properly speaking, lie under any restraint of justice with regard to them, nor could they possess any right or property, exclusive of such arbitrary lords.

Our intercourse with them could not be called society, which supposes a degree of equality; but absolute command on the one side, and servile obedience on the other. What-ever we covet, they must instantly resign: Our permission is the only tenure, by which they hold their possessions: Our compassion and kindness the only check, by which they curb our lawless will: And as no inconvenience ever results from the exercise of a power, so firmly established in nature, the restraints of justice and property, being totally useless, would never have place in so unequal confederacy."

[Anonymous No.14789598]

well done! keep trying!

[Anonymous No.14789611]

>>14786780
How can one actually sum up Oedipus Rex in any way? It's too universal, so how does one apply anything to it lest losing that universality?

t. reading Oedipus Rex

[Anonymous No.14789633]

>>14789562
Higher rights as in more rights. Humans have more rights than animals; you can't have mass factory farms producing human meat or have racing humans put down after breaking their leg. Blacks had less rights than whites in the US during slavery, for instance, because they were deemed less intelligent, so it was justified.

[Anonymous No.14789674]

>>14786780
Print up a stack of business cards with some plausible title like "Freelance Writer" or "Literary Consultant". Hand them out to women you chat up just as the conversation draws to a close with a line like "You seem pretty interesting and cool. If you ever feel like talking sometime, give me a call or send me a text."

This puts the ball in their court, making them feel in control. It also makes you seem both interested, but ultimately indifferent. It's a status move on two levels.

[Anonymous No.14789781]

>>14786780
You shouldve said how everything suppose to be equal between men and women, yet men still have to face beautiful women and possibly be rejected and shot down! Then ask her out haha and if she says no, you can just laugh at the state of equal rights.

Tho most point is that she prob talk more to you or even argue with you!
Women love to fight and agrue its like a test how much you can stand n if you argue back a fair good point tho giving her space to argue back she will like hating you.

[Anonymous No.14789819]

>>14788735
That girl looks like she would get depressed often and not eat regularly. She would also have a messy apartment with a lot of artworks and potted plants.

[Anonymous No.14790053]

>677 The Church will enter the glory of the kingdom only through this final Passover, when she will follow her Lord in his death and Resurrection. The kingdom will be fulfilled, then, not by a historic triumph of the Church through a progressive ascendancy, but only by God's victory over the final unleashing of evil, which will cause his Bride to come down from heaven. God's triumph over the revolt of evil will take the form of the Last Judgment after the final cosmic upheaval of this passing world.
How do Catholic Hegelians/Marxists reconcile this?

[Anonymous No.14790083]

I had a dream this actress I find attractive was sitting across from me on a subway. I'm already terrified of girls, so I never considered speaking to her, but it turned out she was an evil monster who wanted to have sex with me, which would kill me. I managed to escape and lose her in a nearby carnival even though other passengers were trying to hold me down so she could have her way with me.

I think I'm scared of sex and women. I can't look at breasts and vaginas because fill me with intense dread, but I think it might go deeper than that.

[Anonymous No.14790104]

>>14790083
Kiernan is such a qt
Have you had a sexual experience anon? Not being a dick, just wondering if you've seen tits/vag irl and if so how that went

[Anonymous No.14790120]

>>14790104
I was sexually abused by my dad until I was around 16. I've never had a sexual encounter with a woman, but I recall being freaked out by naked women on Playboy magazines from a young age.

[Anonymous No.14790197]

I’ve felt much happier since I accepted that I was a total weirdo and possibly autistic as well. I always felt compelled to fit in with normies, which always ended up hurting me in the end. Now I’m reasonably content just to interact with other weirdos online. I do wish I had more irl social contact but it’s better than pretending to like shit like going to bars and watching trash Netflix shows.

[Anonymous No.14790311]

>>14790083
>I'm a tantric GODDESS Anon. I need your linga nourishing my yoni

[Anonymous No.14790338]

>>14789819
the perfect girl

[Anonymous No.14790352]

>>14790311
scary

[Anonymous No.14790644]

>>14786780
Let's take your degenerate minds off of procreation for a second and talk about God.

I find Christianity only greater and greater depths to Christianity the more I look into it. It really is the most beautiful religion, moreso than Buddhism or Hinduism. Unfortunately aspects of it such as the Fall of Man and the Trinity don't quite fit coherently enough for me to accept given my objectivist worldview. Still, there really is something to be said about the idea of a transcendent spirit within us. I don't know if I can ever call myself Christian but I sure as hell admire it, and the community that it brings. My friend brought me to a Bible study and it was really nice having a group of people who actually care about you. If that's what Christianity offers, then maybe I can at least pretend to believe that Jesus rose from the dead. And maybe pretending is enough.

[Anonymous No.14790695]

Internet hate. Or more precisely, how bogus that hatred is. One lesson in life is that it takes energy to hate. Copious reserves of energy. You can only really hate in good health. From this axiom I derive the conclusion that the more one hates, the less basis one has in hating. Those who should and have reason to hate the most are incapable of mustering the surplus mental and emotional resources to do it. It is one of those emotions that cooks away one's psychological juices and which can only feed on an potentiated overflow of idle emotional vitality.
It's no mystery why the biggest haters tend to punch down, mocking the wretched and unfortunate, holding the sick and weak in bitter contempt. It is a measure of their own comfort, safety and ease of living that they hate so carelessly and indiscriminately. Nobody with purpose or any sense of urgency in life has time to hate in any more than in brief spikes.
Internet hate is a distinct class in this regard, for the internet is the fat, the excess and over-spill of the collective mind. It is where the factory rejected, overproduced detritus of the human mind ends up. Anything truly valuable will not end up on the internet, or it will end up on the internet only as a secondary, token representation of its primary situation. It's the exhaust pipe of the soul where the industrialized waste of the psyche is extruded.

[Anonymous No.14790718]

>>14789398
>>14789373
How do you lads learn how to hit on a girl? It's a stupid question but I don't think the stuff I see on google is really a good idea.

[Anonymous No.14790790]

>>14790644
Recently I came across the idea of the idea of Jesus coming from Neo Platonist thought and rather than weaken it in fact strengthens Christianity for me, it gives it a robustness and footing in the world that I thought Christianity lacked. It makes no difference whether Christ actually Rose from the dead. Either way I am saved.

[Anonymous No.14790798]

>>14790644
You might be interested in Leo Strauss, then, he was neither an atheist nor Christian, however, especially read his views on the two dichotomies of reason and revelation, also a lot of his followers talk about this, including many Catholic theologians and priests, the Catholic theologian Ernest Fortin.

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/strauss-leo/#PhilReveRevi

[Anonymous No.14790829]

>>14790718
You have to make the conversation playful. A lot of PUA advice is kinda right for the wrong reasons and goes too far, for example, don't neg a girl, but some playful back and forth teasing indicates that you're flirting.

[Anonymous No.14790842]

>>14786780
from a cancer thread onf /fit/:


i'm so fucking scared, there are so many things i still want to do.
i always wanted to have my own family, having a son or a daughter and being an amazing father to them.

don't waste your time, trust me, you'll regret more the things you didn't do than the mistakes you made.

do something, do it, time is running.

[Anonymous No.14790866]

I feel like i could do good things if I just knew what direction i want to go in life

I have so much pent up energy rendered useless because I just don't know what to do or who to be

absolutely lost

[Anonymous No.14790885]

I had a dream where i was walking with a girl with glasses.

[Anonymous No.14790903]

>>14790866
Solution: read Eric Voegelin, Walker Percy, and Fyodor Dostoevsky.

[Anonymous No.14790923]

>>14790903
>Dostoevsky
Why? He talks about faith

[Anonymous No.14790926]

>finally overcoming my social anxiety
>finally defeating my OCD
>finally getting my body in shape
>finally taking charge of my life
>no opportunity to meet new people and expand my life because the friends and family I do have are shut-ins or hardcore gamers.
What a bizarre challenge this is. I work with some people my age, but there isn't enough time to really get to know anyone outside of smalltalk, which is also pretty rare. And dating through apps seems like a terrible idea because I still (successfully) struggle to maintain my spaghetti in social situations. I don't even feelbad about nogf because I'm so perplexed by how hard it is to even find cool bros to hang out with.
I don't go to college, and my area is boring and has nothing to do other than go drinking. Guess I'll just keep focusing my hobbies.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !!oI3er5KKetj No.14790927]

>>14790083
Ooh, dude. You have some issues.
Try to imagine me intervening. Woo.

[Anonymous No.14790938]

>>14790923
You do know Nietzsche the Anti-Christ calls Dosto the greatest psychologist ever, right? Dosto writes about the thing you complain about. All the authors I listed do, and that's why I prescribed them to you. Especially read his Notes from Underground.

[Anonymous No.14791011]

having a presence embarrasses me, im so embarrassed of everything. of the way i look, of the things i say, of the way i write, of the work i do. im filled with so much crippling anxiety and self loathing whenever i post something on social media. i guess that's why i like 4chan, no regrets, no one really cares. i know that in 100 years ill be dead and it wouldnt have mattered what people thought of me but when im here this sucks. i do creative work and it's absolutely crippling, the thought of people not liking the work i do. i want their validation. i want people to tell me im good. im so scared to even start working because what if it's shit?

i hate my writing. words are all ive ever had, since i was a child. the dictionary was my bible. i kept 'journals' from 2nd grade until i was in 9th grade and my dad read one of them and sent me to therapy. stream of consciousness writing is the closest thing i have to meditation. to allow your fingers to take over in the purely mechanical action of transferring my thoughts into text - there is no internal monologue telling me how dumb i am, just for a few moments. but then everything i write makes people uncomfortable, i think. it makes me uncomfortable. i cant go back and edit it because holy cringe. i want to be a better writer but i dont know how to stop falling into my comfort zone - write about what you know. what if this is all ive ever known? im stuck.

im emotionally unhinged and im so afraid it shows. weird and crazy are my trigger words. being an outcast, people calling me a psycho. i dont know. i feel like if i could just unhook myself from the imaginary audience that's been watching me watch myself since i was a child, i'd be more content and happy. the only times i've felt at peace are 1) when im on drugs or alcohol 2) when im in nature. it's so easy to forget everything in nature. that's the hack isn't it? give everything up and travel. nature is so unpredictable, so messy, so beautiful - everything you look at is new. you have no time to look inwards. that was the appeal of the internet too, now that i think of it. i remember getting lost in a forest while i was on ecstacy and alone. i remember thinking, if i was emotionally stable, this could be the rest of my life and it would be amazing.

ahhh drugs. and alcohol. sweet old friends. i cannot imagine a life sober. okay im done for now but this was some prime therapy whiny writing. thanks.

[Anonymous No.14791043]

>>14791011
Are you still in therapy? And how exactly are drugs and alcohol going to help you if you already struggle?

[Anonymous No.14791102]

>>14791043
no the 'therapy' i went for was some weird shit and i just refused to go after a point. drugs and alcohol numb me up, give me false feelings of elation i suppose and helps with the anxiety. which is better than panic attacks. monkey brain so i care about instant gratification more than anything.

i am hyperaware of my problems and why am the way i am (to some extent) cause i've lived my life inside my own head. yes i should go for therapy but i cant afford it on my own, im in college right now so there are counselors but the thought of going there is repulsive. i cant bring myself to do it id rather just take the meds and leave. i know what i should do but it's easier to live the way i live. im aware that it's a conscious fight and a battle but im so tired.

[Anonymous No.14791144]

>>14791102
I think you should try a counselor. If you're in college, there's plenty of time to turn things around for the better.
I have similar emotional problems and I finally surrendered to myself and went to therapist. He was extremely helpful and gave me the right tools to work on my problems.

[Anonymous No.14791150]

God, I want to fuck you so much. I would take your whole dick, too, just like you want me to. It’d hurt probably, and I would have to work it very slowly, but I’d do it.

[Anonymous No.14791157]

>>14790938
Not that anon but dosto doesnt really writes about not knowing what to do or who to be.

[Anonymous No.14791209]

>>14791157
I meant that they write about the cause of what he complains about (social alienation) and the solution (Socratic spiritual revival).

[Anonymous No.14791249]

>>14791209
>Socratic spiritual revival
How its a solution?

[Anonymous No.14791311]

Why are you all such humongous faggots?

[Anonymous No.14791320]

saw a girl I hooked up with once with another guy
fuck I'm pissed

[Anonymous No.14791365]

>>14791249
It's what will give you a meaning in what is Good, Beauty, Truth and the conquering of the fear of death. Read Plato's Symposium.

[Anonymous No.14791390]

>>14788735
It can be a wonderful form, though I think it has been misused in recent years

[Anonymous No.14791405]

>>14786780
PLEASE, guys, I'm unironically begging you, this shit is getting worse by the day. Please give me book suggestions that might help me deal with my burning self hatred and suicide ideation. Nothing in life has given me pleasure, and every day I feel imprisoned by family, friends, and the social structures around me. I don't live for myself - I am trapped in this life by them. I feel a constant desire to jump out the window, living on the 12th floor. Please give me /lit/ to cope with these feels

[Anonymous No.14791415]

>>14791405
The Holy Bible
lift weights, sleep well and eat well

[Anonymous No.14791417]

>>14789226
Think positive. Don't worry, be happy. Be yourself, anon.

[Anonymous No.14791430]

>>14791415
I've read large parts of the Bible and the Qur'an. They have given some relief, and the fear of divine judgement is probably the main reason I want to force myself to keep living. But that doesn't deal with the lack of pleasure, as nothing in life interests me. It doesn't help with the hatred of my own self, and the world around me.

[Anonymous No.14791440]

>>14791430
hence the other part of my advice, if your ego is breaking down then at least feed your id
depression and anhedonia are physiological malaise, they can be corrected, don't give up frend

[Anonymous No.14791453]

>>14791430
Check out Dostoevsky and Percy as I mentioned to another in this thread. There's even a book about suicide in their works "Fyodor Dostoevsky, Walker Percy, and the Age of Suicide."

[Anonymous No.14791680]

>>14791405
The Dharma Bums baby, that'll cure your blues

[Anonymous No.14791696]

>>14791405
Sometimes A Great Notion

[Anonymous No.14791715]

What is the word for powerlessness and surreal atmosphere among normies

[Anonymous No.14791719]

>>14791715
*when surrounded among normies

[Anonymous No.14791724]

There's a writing competition being arranged by the libraries in my county, the deadline is the 29th and I just found out about it today.
Should I go for it? It would be first time in my adult life I tried anything like this.

[Anonymous No.14791735]

I wonder if anyone else didn’t dive deep into literature until relatively late in life? I always had an interest in it, but I didn’t get deep into and start reading a lot until I was around 24. It makes me kind of embarrassed to think about all the dumb shit I pursued instead of reading until that age.

[Anonymous No.14791879]

>>14791724
Yes

[Anonymous No.14791881]

>>14791879
Very well.

[Anonymous No.14791941]

>>14791390
How is it misused?

[Anonymous No.14791958]

>>14791405
Everything you’ve said here and in your replies resonates with me. I feel similarly. Mind if I ask how old you are?

[Anonymous No.14791959]

Trying to resurrect my life after a decade of pretending I'm aloof. So far gone into being a phlegmatic, I don't know what my favourite colour is.

[Anonymous No.14791975]

>>14791715
complacent
stoned
ludicrous
paralysed

[Anonymous No.14791979]

>>14786780
All I've got to do this year is stick to my plans. There's so much going on this year that can change my career so many ways. Networking gone wrong, cover letter not up to scratch, wrong answers to interview questions, promotions. So many variables that remain unknown, like sleep, diet and lifts. This semester is fragile, and if I fall behind I may as well restart. Hard work is what they say

[Anonymous No.14792009]

>>14791958
I will be turning 25 in a couple of months, but I've felt like this for as long as I remember. I must have been 10 when I first realized that the things other kids enjoyed bored me, and that I hated how everyone in the world was so selfish, and everyone was unkind. Ever since that realization, I have just wanted to die to be free from the pain of consciousness.

However, I became fascinated with religion at around the age of 13, and decided to wait with killing myself until I at least could say for certain that there is no divine judgement, and that God doesn't care what we do. But all I have read and seen indicates that God does indeed care, and our actions will have eternal consequences, and so I am stuck in this prison until God wills me to die. I hope to change the way I feel, so life will no longer feel like imprisonment.

I tried to drown myself in alcohol, but even while intoxicated, my feelings were still there, barely veiled, still noticable. I tried marijuana, and it only made a slight difference the first few times, then stopped being helpful. I intend to try psycedelics, as it seems like they might do significant changes in ones personality and perception of the world. But I have no hope of any of these things actually changing how my mind works significantly, because I believe such a change can only come through philosophy. Maybe I will have a breakthrough if I read some of the books mentioned by the other anons. Maybe I will experience a psychological rebirth someday soon.

[Anonymous No.14792048]

>>14792009
I’m 26 and I’ve also felt this way for a long time. I’m sorry to hear someone else feels like this but also glad to hear that you’re roughly my age because I always assumed it’s an edgy teenager thing and I’m too old to still feel this way.

I know what you mean and I also medicated heavily with drugs and alcohol through college especially. It’s the most regrettable period of my life. I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school though so I sort of had religion impressed upon me and while I’ve had something of a break from the faith, I still find something of value there. It just often feels as though it’s not for me. I’ve also taken up drawing and writing poetry again which were things I had affinities for when I was a kid, but kind of put away because I was insecure about it. I started again around 25 and I’m obsessed with it but I’m also ashamed that I wasted all that time floating through life jamming myself into a box I never fit in. I’ve also become really interested in language recently.

I guess I just wanted to hear someone else’s story and share mine because as I’m sure you know it’s hard to convey these things in a way that makes sense to anyone, that is if you even have anyone to say it to.

[Anonymous No.14792091]

>>14789431
Rights don't exist

[Anonymous No.14792122]

>>14792048
I know what you mean. A few days ago, I made the mistake of trying to open up to my parents. I have tried to do so in the past, but have never managed to be entirely honest with them about the true depth of my problem. But this time, I decided to be entirely open about the fact that I enjoy nothing, want nothing in life, have no dreams, hate the things I've "accomplished" - I am the first person in my family to study, and people in our community look up to me because they think the field is admirable. All of it is just another shackle, and I made the mistake of telling them that. Now they've been treating me like a baby the last few days, trying to "cheer me up" with movienights, pizza, and other shit. I appreciate the fact that they care, but it feels shitty to think that this is how they think of me - like a brat in need of candy to feel better. Maybe that is what I am, in a sense - I'm a piece of shit looking for meaning and joy in life, so they aren't entirely wrong. I just wish they and everyone else would leave me alone, if they can't share my pain.

I didn't mean for these posts to be so petulant and full of self pity. It's just rare to find someone who might understand how if feels.

[Anonymous No.14792143]

>>14791735
I didn't really start around 21 which felt pretty late. It used to bother me a bit because I thought I could never "catch up" to all the years I had missed of reading, but then I settled more comfortably into it and exploring anything that interested me, whether I was intellectually prepared for it or not; I also realized there was nothing with which to catch up. Just read what sparks your interest anon, it's never too late to enjoy literature.

[Anonymous No.14792169]

>>14792122
I did that with my mother the other day. I wanted to lay it all out falling just short of confessing that I’ve seriously considered suicide for a while. I ended it before it ever really started though because I knew it wouldn’t achieve anything and I felt pathetic for being so weak. She just told me I have the winter blues, or I need to socialize more, or I’m depressed and need a better job. It would be pretty much impossible to explain to her that the world is more or less varying shades of grey, and I just have no innate interest in any job, or a career path, or whatever and that I feel myself to be some sort of degenerate who longs for some sort of greater heights but lacks half of the talent to reach them or that it’s simply not “winter blues” in anyway that would have her understand much less sympathize. I know it doesn’t really help anything but I guess take some solace in knowing there’s someone else out there who gets it and don’t worry about the petulance. I think that’s one of the reasons we come to places like this in the first place, whether we admit it or not.

[Anonymous No.14792205]

>>14792169
I feel kinda shitty for saying it, but you were probably right not to tell her. It's the kind of thing it might be better that no one knows, because the chances of the person you tell actually understanding are so low. It will only poison you in their eyes. I don't know how to undo what I did, guess I should just try to pretend I have gotten better sometime in a few months or so.

[Anonymous No.14792316]

>>14792205
You’re probably right and I don’t think I’ll try again. As for how to undo things, I wish I knew. I would say there’s probably no sense in inauthenticity at this point, whatever that means.

[Anonymous No.14792443]

I just don't know anymore.

[Anonymous No.14792486]

>>14786780
I'm afraid to write to my thesis advisor that I did nothing since december. And I should write because deadline is near and I need directions. Guys, please tell me it will be ok.

[Anonymous No.14792499]

>>14789235
>I am the descendant of Greeks, Romans, Ottomans, Persians and Huns
dios mios la Americana creatura...

[Anonymous No.14792503]

>>14792486
Can’t you put together something of substance before the deadline?

[Anonymous No.14792527]

>>14792486
you could always fake illness. i don't know if you're depressed or what it is that has kept you from working, but my friend got his deadline pushed back multiple times, and is now finishing it 2 years late

[Anonymous No.14792559]

>>14792503
I can, but I need confirmation and some advice/correction. And my anxiety and guilt prevents me from asking for this.
>>14792527
I'm not depressed, just anxious and afraid of failure. Instead of working on my thesis I took complicated courses, worked on skills useful for my career, etc, but I can't postpone it any longer.

[20 Books to 50k No.14792693]

>>14787813
Exact same. Are we doomed?

[Anonymous No.14793027]

i have spent hours watching the youtube channel academy of ideas. his videos have inspired me to make changes in my life. i will start by taking a 6 hour walk (30 km) in a few days, to the highest hill where i live. the view from there is supposed to be awesome, and the walk pleasant and demanding. disconnecting from media and screens will hopefully do my mental state good. i've been stuck in negative thinking patterns, and have been unable to grow for years. hopefully, this will be a turning point in my life. i love you, litbros :)

[Anonymous No.14793042]

any news about the pedophile that used to post in these threads? did he finally kidnap/rape/murde/suicide that 8 years old girl he wanted to fuck?

[Anonymous No.14793143]

Friend wants me to drive with him and probably some others to a mountain to spend the night. Problem is, I said yes but I'd rather at this time be in the city and chase after girls. It's the first time since March I feel really comfortable with my pick-up game.

Who am I going to fuck on that damn mountain? Him?

[Anonymous No.14793163]

>>14793143
This isn’t /adv/, stupid cunt. If you want advice on your relationshit drama then go to that fucking board.

Sick and tired of fucking attention whores in here, whining and begging for someone to notice them. Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.14793192]

>>14793163
choke on a dick, I was just throwing shit in the round

[Anonymous No.14793201]

>>14793192
No, you weren’t. You were desperately flailing around for someone to give you attention and suck your fee fees because you’re such a pathetic beta cuck. Go to /adv/ and quit shitting up the thread.

[Anonymous No.14793236]

>>14793201
well, if it's that, it worked on you, I got your attention, thanks for chatting with me darling, but look at the last sentence of my post, it's the joke, are you that socially retarded not to get it? I mean, you don't need to laugh at it, but at least notice it's presence

[Anonymous No.14793245]

>>14793236
> wahhhh gimme attention please please
Pathetic. An fucking hero, you sad cuck.

[Anonymous No.14793260]

dude just go on twitter all fucking day just keep drawing stupid fucking political comics and espousing radical bullshit that will never be realized in your lifetime just pretend your trite uttering matter

[20 Books to 50k No.14793522]

>>14792486
It's going to be ok, anon. Advisers deal with students missing deadlines all the time. Hell, procrastination is academia's number one malady.

Pirate The Now Habit and read through it. It addresses your issue with failure and gives you clear cut instructions on how to put it to good use.

[20 Books to 50k No.14793532]

>>14793143
I think your game is so strong you might have wooed your buddy already. Why not ask him if there's gonna be girls? Alternatively, take shrooms with your buddy. It's way better than fucking randos.

[Anonymous No.14793751]

Home from spending a few hours with one of my two friends having dinner and a drink after.

Loneliness with light desperation.

He's unlocking his potential with women I saw in him a few years ago, which is great.

I'm still lacking, after years of autistically missing the ball when locking eyes with a women who's interested because of anxiety attacks from trauma.

I've been considering prostitutes more & more, but something puts me off, and it's a way to avoid confronting myself by trying with women in a club or someplace.

[Anonymous No.14793898]

>>14793143
Go to the mountain, anon. One day you’ll be glad you did.

[Anonymous No.14794049]

*drives my floppystick into your moist receptacle*

[Anonymous No.14794606]

Is the solution for solving the neurosis really a therapy?

[Anonymous No.14794611]

>>14794606
Neurosis is never "solved," you just learn to deal with it better. But yeah, therapy can help with that.

[Anonymous No.14794643]

>>14794611
So basically i can only get less fucked up but not unfucked up?

[Anonymous No.14794673]

>>14786780
i just want to kill and pillage

[Anonymous No.14794709]

Kind of hopeful, yet skeptical, of the therapy for my borderline personality disorder.

My gf of a month and a half told me that she needs time to really get ready for a relationship, she told me for the first time that she just got out of an abusive marriage 6 months ago and that she has a lot of difficulty trusting men. She thanked me for everything. It's pretty bittersweet.

[Anonymous No.14794716]

>>14786780
I get stoned maybe once or twice a week.
When I do, I write, almost compulsively. Usually story or article ideas, maybe some journaling.

But when I'm REALLY stoned, I draw. Lots of different things, but a common subject is something like pic related (left). Like an abstract atom/compass-rose combo. They seem very important ATM, but seem nonsensical after the fact.

What do you make of it, /lit/?

[Anonymous No.14794728]

I've bought a good selection of books that interest me, mainly historical ones on a certain few subjects, however I am incredibly anxious to read them and largely avoiding making much progress, only finished 2(technically 3). I feel like a massive retard in a lot of regards, basically that I lack great critical thinking skills, so anything that isn't just pure history and information with any depth to it (philosophy in this case) is lost on me. I read Nietzsche "beyond good and evil" and "genealogy of morals" and I didn't get what the fuck he was saying, he keeps moving on to random whims from my perspective
tl;dr someone please explain beyond good and evil and genealogy of morals to me

[Anonymous No.14794807]

>>14789354
>the 25 year old PROOFER

[Anonymous No.14794935]

>>14794673
Join the army

[Anonymous No.14794946]

Anyone else get really depressed looking at their parent’s lives? Every day my father:
Leaves for work at 7:30
Gets back at 5:30
Watches TV for an hour
Eats dinner with my mother, younger brother, and I (unless it’s a Tuesday or Thursday, where he eats at his desk while watching a web program from some grifter “investment advisor”)
Complains about how he works more than his colleagues
Watches some more TV
Goes to bed at like 9:30
I shudder to imagine living like that.

Humanitarian intervention for boomer parents when?

[Anonymous No.14794970]

>>14794643
Yeah, if you wanna think about it that way. If your neurosis is debilitating, a good therapist will help you in a profound way. If you just feel kinda anxious sometimes, then it's largely on you to improve your life. Even still, a therapist can make you see where you've been fucking yourself. IMO there is no one who isn't "fucked up" in some way. In the Lacanian framework most people are classed as "neurotic," even the most well-adjusted normie. Makes sense if you think about it.

[Anonymous No.14794988]

>>14794946
What does your father do? My parents are on the brink of retirement, have a good relationship with eachother, and plenty of friends and hobbies outside of their marriage

[Anonymous No.14795486]

>>14794946
My dad leaves for work around 6 AM and comes home close to 7 PM because he commutes to another city by train and yes, he too goes to bed at half past nine. He has been doing this for over 10 years.This is simply the boomer way.

[Anonymous No.14795496]

>>14795486
Is he even alive? I can't imagine that life.

[Anonymous No.14795518]

>>14795496
He's a public official. Such men seldom live.

[Anonymous No.14795524]

>>14787017
Fair enough dude

[Anonymous No.14795555]

I've got writer's block about this novel im writing. I know what I want to write but something about where I'm at in it makes me want to ignore the whole thing completely. Problem is I have huge Ennui related to it if I'm just fucking around with a game or reading a book or whatever. Everytime I think about booting up the word processor I just want to go do anything else, but when I go do anything else, ennui. I also can't fucking sleep at night because I lay in bed thinking about it no matter how tired I am.

[Anonymous No.14795562]

>>14794946
My dad's in a very similar situation. I think at a certain point in life having everything be as regular as possible is comforting in a way we can't understand yet.

[Anonymous No.14795569]

>>14794935
>>14794673
You will not kill and pillage in the army, you'll just be bored and miserable. Go be a mercenary instead.

[Anonymous No.14795575]

>>14789235
Holy fuck it's like im reading my lieutenants diary right now

[Anonymous No.14795588]

>>14790866
Identify what you like and throw yourself into pursuing it. At some point you have to stop thinking about it and just do it.

[Anonymous No.14795596]

>>14791405
You need to start eating more healthily and exercising more. If you have toxic people in your life then cut them out of it. I dealt with feeling trapped by people for almost my entire life until very recently. Cutting them out was hard but it was definitely worth it.

[Anonymous No.14795606]

>>14792122
It's just part of life that we can't naturally understand each other's deep emotions. It's easier in this environment because you're under no pressure and you can articulate yourself how you want to. You have to find your own way to appreciate yourself and ignore what other people think about you.

[Anonymous No.14795607]

>>14790718
>>14790829
How the fuck do you start a conversaton with someone? You just ask them a question forcing them to respond? It seem so awkard to me.

There is a cute girl in one of my class was thinking of just asking her out, go straight to the point tell her I find her attractive and would like to get to know her more over a date. I don't know if it's too direct.
She's always surrounded by friends though, asking her out makes me anxious but this just triple the fear inside me.

[Anonymous No.14795610]

>>14786780
I WANT TO FUCKING SNIFF AND EAT A GIRL'S ASSHOLE

[Anonymous No.14795743]

I've felt for years like I've reached a depth of loneliness impossible to rise from.

[Anonymous No.14795751]

>>14795743
Same. I think I've reached to a level that I subconsciously sabotage any opportunity of rising from it.

[Anonymous No.14795783]

>>14791715
autism fit

[Anonymous No.14795809]

Finally started to see some results from my current gym schedule, makes me feel pretty good inside for once.

[Anonymous No.14795810]

>>14787017
I know that feel bro.

[Anonymous No.14795814]

>>14795809
Keep it up, man.

[Anonymous No.14795828]

>>14791405
Move to the ground floor

[Anonymous No.14795844]

>>14792009
>>14792048
>>14792122
>>14792169
>>14792205
Both of you are pretty well spoken. I don't have much else to say than that, but I believe that indicates you two are able to express yourselves quite well, at least in written form. Try writing or something perhaps. God knows we need more people who can write.

[Anonymous No.14795891]

I posted a similar thing in another thread, so apologies for redundancy.

Two weeks ago I was rejected from the only PhD program I applied to. I thought I had prepared myself mentally for this eventuality as I knew it was a distinct possibility, but evidently I hadn't. This was the only worthwhile goal I'd ever had, the only thing I ever truly wanted to do. I had delayed pursuing for a long time because I have an embarrassing record as an undergrad. However, I just completed an MA in which I excelled. I allowed myself to be excited. I thought I could outrun my failures. But now I have confirmation of what I always knew: I'm a fucking loser.

[Anonymous No.14795926]

>>14788347
“You’re always disappointing someone, so fuck it.” Quote from a movie, but it’s helped me to not feel like such a waste of space

[Anonymous No.14795943]

>>14786780
Poggers.

[Anonymous No.14795949]

>>14795751
I think we're going to make it, though.

[Anonymous No.14795974]

>>14795891
"loser" is an attitude. Pick yourself back up and keep going. The more you pretend to be undefeatable the more true it will become. Same thing applies to being afraid.

[Anonymous No.14796119]

Think of what we would all be able to accomplish if we weren’t constantly at odds with one another. Something I’ve noticed in a lot of my favorite movies is that the story revolves around two men who by all means should hate one another, but are forced to forgo their ego in order overcome a much greater evil that they would not have been able to conquer had they not chosen to put aside their pride.

There are some evil fucking people out there doing some seriously evil shit, guys. It’s so much worse than the movies are capable of portraying it because it’s fucking real. We don’t see it happening, so we don’t care. Out of sight, out of mind. But I’m terrified at the idea that people like Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein are just the tip of the iceberg. Men like them aren’t going anywhere though. You get rid of one and there’s plenty more lining up to fill the void. They’re like a real life hydra. But the hydra was eventually defeated by Heracles, the epitome of masculinity, with the help of Iolaus. Something needs to be done. They can’t keep getting away with this.

[Anonymous No.14796123]

Is everybody as insecure as they appear, or am I just projecting? Every person I talk to seems to have some sort of ulterior motive behind what it is they’re saying. Like they’re constantly trying to impress me or assert dominance over me with their intellect, masculinity, finances, etc. It’s gotten to the point where I’m suspicious of any conversation I have with another person and they somehow manage to find a way to flex. Do they not realize how desperate and insecure it makes them come across? Is self-awareness really so rare that people don’t understand that this type of behavior stems from insecurity? Men are particularly prone to this type of behavior in my experience. My dad, my boss, my brother, my coworkers...it’s pathetic and frustrating. I wonder if they’re even conscious of the fact that they’re doing it.

[Anonymous No.14796171]

Huge suffocating and slightly obnoxious worm of sloth wraps around me. He knows that my being is already insufferable cringe and because of that he says: - Дeлaй ничeгo. Питaй cвoю нeвpacтeнию. He нapyшaй циклa cнa и живoтнoгo питaния.
Maybe someday we both became emptiness.

[Anonymous No.14796212]

>>14796123
I have that feeling too. I couldn't think about any conversation I have which is sincere. What I mean by this is conversation about your feeling or thought or discussing some topic for sake of understanding. People always just say thing that are better because they have better opinion, or They degrade other person

[Anonymous No.14796266]

>>14795891
if it
>the only thing I ever truly wanted to do
You must try again. Not everyone can take spoils of life in one turn. You better be persistent.

[Anonymous No.14796339]

i want to die

xanax

[Anonymous No.14796353]

>>14796339
Die, but more honorable - by helping someone. Enlist into some volonteur charitable and go into Zimbabwe or so.

[Anonymous No.14796355]

>>14786780
I'm writing a book that is essentially semi-autobiographical; the names and places have been changed, events left out or consolidated to fit 18 chapters.
But it is hard as fuck to write because I have to relive my trauma when I work on it.
For six months I couldn't figure out a way to even end it in the plotting stage, but lately I figured nothing ends until the protagonist dies and I'm not dead yet. It has to end on a note of ambiguity, yet such is an unsatisfying conclusion.
There's a woman I work with who smiles every time I see her. We work on different shifts, but god do I like her smile and how she does her hair. I'm not a subhuman mutant, so I might have a chance if I could only figure out if she's smiling when she sees me or if she's just smiling about something else.
It's too cold here. I've been living on the coast too long, I forgot about winter and how the cold slices bare skin. I got sick for the first time in years a couple months ago, the common cold and it nearly nailed me to the wall. How do people live like this? I enjoy being outside, yet here I am caged inside like an animal for fear of the bitter cold.
I miss smoking weed. I could again, beer has lost its luster, but the weed slows down my mind like a poorly maintained computer. Still, I miss the piques of creativity it lent me, if only to borrow them from reserves of natural acceptance of the misery of my existence.
I need to solve the puzzle of this morning shift woman, I really do like how she smiles.

[Anonymous No.14796383]

>>14786780
Peace. Clarity. Function. Logic. Reason. I want to find something wrong, I really do. I grow anxious over having none, I yearn for the call, the warm drink of desolation. My comfort lies in the chaos, among the insane and hurt.
Yet... nothing. Just some peace. The stir of the leaves as they grasp the ground, the breeze whisking away my breath, another forgotten. The significance is my own, no one else can own it, and not many hear it. The wind, when was the last time you listened for it?

[Anonymous No.14796416]

>>14794970
I guess you're right about everyone being a bit fucked up. Fear of life and sexuality is just more apparent in my case.

[Anonymous No.14796426]

>>14791405
I'm sorry i have nothing to offer. your conversation with other anon really resonated with me.

[Anonymous No.14796453]

>>14791405
I like to listen to punk rock to cope, reminds me that other people are alienated and dissatisfied.

[Anonymous No.14796474]

>>14786780
There's 4 confirmed cases of coronavirus in my country as of this morning. It will likely develop into an epidemic that will cost my fucking life, due to the fact that I live in a densely populated country and have had problems with my respiratory tract over the past year, for which no cause has yet been found (most likely Post Nasal Drip syndrome or some shit like that). I also have crippling health anxiety.

The thought of my approaching death and the collapse of large parts of my country's system is somehow stressing me out, but not really in a hysteric way, I guess I just sort of accepted it. It's all so comical, so bizarre, so unreal yet.

I'm glad that, despite years of nihilism and autistic behaviour, my life up to this point was pretty comfy, not gonna lie. I've had moments that now seem like absolute bliss and the memory of them is a wonderful remedy for my morbid fears. I remember the wind whispering through the corn fields in August at my ex gfs place in the countryside. How we used to pluck redcurrant and hold our feet in the fountain next to her garden. How the emotionally abusive relationship of my parents seemed to not be that present when my grandparents were over. How I stayed inside for years, playing video games, escaping this seemingly cold world. How I walked home on rainy autumn nights, heartbroken and sad. How I spent winter evenings in smokey bars, at peace, disconnected from the outside world, truly enjoying every bit of the moment, holding my ex, hearing the sounds of the street and the nearby trains passing by.

I can't say, now, that death is approaching, that my life was sad. It was wasted, maybe, but given that I have no future anyway, all the wasted time is transformed, having received an almost comforting, soothing meaning. I suppose it is true that having had a decent life is the only solace of death.

Aight anons, I hope y'all make it.

[Anonymous No.14796510]

>>14796474
Iktf bro
our government let in thousands of han right at the height of the alarm because of greed and laziness, I live next to two of them and got a cold... won't do me in though

[Anonymous No.14796679]

>>14796474
Atleast you experienced love

[Anonymous No.14797096]

I owe the university library almost $200 in late fees

[Anonymous No.14797196]

>>14796474
Is it possible that your respiratory problems are actually caused by anxiety?

[Anonymous No.14797213]

>>14795844
I’ve reignited an interest in poetry and art, which is something I had until I was about 17 before I had it stomped out of me and convinced myself I actually wanted to “fit in”. I’ve found it expressive and therapeutic but not in a curative way. It’s a bit ironic because it’s expression as form of therapy to the condition which inspires it relies on the very condition itself to exist and thus, it’s an endless circle. It mirrors what what we’re getting to in that way I guess. I’ve also become increasingly interested in language, and the failures of our language. If I’m being totally honest, I’m deeply insecure about it. I regret trying so desperately to fit in and succeed that I forgot myself and I worry there’s no way to recover that last time and have any meaningful existence let alone impact on the world.

[Anonymous No.14797694]

antagonist has OCD
too tropey?

[Anonymous No.14798222]

>>14796510
Ah shit, which country do you live in?
>>14796679
Yeah, I don't think I could take all of this knowing that I've been a bitter virgin all my life. My memories are the solace of my life will be the solace of my death, similar to the Upanishads for Schopenhauer.
>>14797196
Yes, that's possible. It's more likely from abusing my vocal chords over the past seven years since I have been singing in extreme metal bands since 2016 and been practicing since 2012. Or it's some problem associated with my nasal cavity.

I think it's truly a special kind of bliss, that in the extremely unlikely event that I'll live to see my 22nd birthday and the year 2021, I will finally have a cure for my persistent nihilism and can create a life on my own. Finally move out, finally work more than 6 hours a week, maybe start studying again. Overcome all the pain and grief from my past, and cherish the memory. I swear, if I live to see this summer, I'm going to read beneath a tree in the countryside every evening and watch the sun set over the fields. Nature truly is beautiful to behold, I can't get enough of it.

We have fights, we have struggles, debilitating fears and behaviour, society that stands against us, or we just don't fit in - but I suppose being alive and well and having just that will, that fierce will to conquer yourself and to live, that shall be the only future for me, if I'm fortunate enough to have one.

[Anonymous No.14798245]

>>14789192
based

[Anonymous No.14798426]

what heights the human genius has reached - in times past. of all the great names one could mention, I'll mention one: goethe. how brightly everything shines in him: art, science, friendship, love. a dropped word from him about an object of art - and your own words dissolve into thin smoke: you are a barbarian; as far away from the greeks as from the neighbouring beauty of nature. what kind of times are we living in today? acting as if humanism was alive. we live in times of barbarism. and born into ugliness, we adapt to it. i notice in myself how i keep going further, further and further away from goethe and the greats, from their way of living and thinking. i sink into barbarism, blood, insensitivity and ecstasy - and enjoy it more and more. i put beauty above morality; a crude beauty.

[Anonymous No.14798571]

So practically I killed my basedboy neighbours dog and now he and his wife and her son are Seething. He wants to put me in prison but he gets got no evidence. Rofl
Fucking kek.the dog was named COOKIE. Now if that's not fucking onions... I

[Anonymous No.14798591]

I’m not my ideal self
I’m not even moving closer to my ideal self
It’s disturbing how little this realization bothers me

[Anonymous No.14798786]

>>14798426
>boo-hoo the past was good and the present sucks
>that's why I'm a loser, no other reason

[Anonymous No.14798824]

I can’t stop seeing what is behind everything.
being in society is like being insane.

oh mother. oh my mother. she is home, completely alone. nobody can reach her. home doesn’t know where everyone went. there is nothing wrong with home. home wants love, home wants to be kind. oh mother. where did we go, how did we go so wrong. where is everyone?

i’m a delusional wife seeing ghosts while she is pregnant. nobody believes me, but they desperately want to take care of me. they want what is in me. but nobody really sees what is in me or what is going to come out. we are so far away from home. there are terrifying creatures behind every beautiful thing in this society, but there is nothing but beauty in me.

what would I do for one other person like me? but really, who isn’t like me? god, we need each other so much. we are all just lost children.

why doesn’t anyone believe in love anymore

does anyone cry in front of each other more? does anyone really care? what are all these emotions for?

windows, its always the windows that stop me from crying.

there is no answer God, to these questions. Why did you leave them? why don’t we have the spirt in us anymore. I have to close my eyes because sometimes I want to see something better. God, good God, since I was a child I knew you. I always knew you were so beautiful. I always knew you’d take care of me, but what about yourself God? Why don’t you help yourself? The trees, the earth, need you right now. more than ever. Where are we going. why are we so far from home?

[Anonymous No.14798926]

Do any anons have advice on how I would go about pivoting to graduate study in the humanities after having already graduated with a business/social sciences degree and been working in a normal business job for a few years already? Should I try to go right to an MA program or should I take the time to do the BA?

[Anonymous No.14798932]

>>14786780
the last time I left my house and spoke to a girl, she pepper sprayed me. Needless to say, I haven't left since.

[Anonymous No.14799488]

I got gyno removal surgery 10 days ago and it made me realize how alone I am. I did it secretly. I got to the hospital by myself, went under general anesthesia without anyone knowing, dressed up by myself, got to my apartment in a cab and took care of myself for the past 10 days. The next day after the surgery, when it took me 45 minutes to put a shirt on, I realized I'm probably going to die alone. Hold me bros

[Anonymous No.14799514]

It's been three days since I wrote my novel's chapter 3.
I'm quite satisfied. It's a shit novel but... that's good, that's me.

[Anonymous No.14799531]

Come discuss the occult and other schizo stuff on based /x/ server

https://discord.gg/8RXFCD

[Anonymous No.14799536]

>>14787017
Same here.

[Anonymous No.14799562]

>>14798786
Yes, indeed. What is your cope, boyo?

[Anonymous No.14799569]

>>14799488
I would hold you, but I dont want to injure your titwounds.

[Anonymous No.14799571]

>>14790695
Interesting observations anon.

[Anonymous No.14799590]

>>14798932
I wanna hear the full story

>>14796474
My god, you guys are pussies. Coronavirus isn't gonna fuck the world up in a serious way, it's about as bad as the flu.

[Anonymous No.14799653]

>>14799569
Actually now they're pecs because I went into surgery 10% body fat but thanks bro I appreciate it

[Anonymous No.14799667]

Does autogynephilia fetish indicates something wrong with mind?

[Anonymous No.14800068]

>>14786780
I'm bothered. I'm waiting idly by my phone while trying to do things (write). I WISH that it was me doing things while my phone waits idly by me, however I feel consumed by the thought that no one is texting me or wants to reach me.

This is meanwhile affecting my feelings of self-worth which is infecting my relationship. I am essentially hoping with each passing second that my girlfriend texts me with lovey-dubby messages so that I can feel reaffirmed in the fact that she says she loves me. We say I love you to each other, but I sense the slightest hesitation when she says it, almost as if she loves me, but there remains a question of whether she is IN love with me. This poses further issues because she can tell I'm infatuated with her and thus she holds all the power. She also told me that she wants to marry me after having gone to a wedding with her family (without me). We've been together 6 months and I am her first serious relationship.

The other thing that bothers me is that I remain tormented by the idea of her having 4 previous partners. I'm not sure how good our sex is to her, I would kill for her to tell me it's the best sex she ever had, however I feel like she has had better sex with someone else. That thought wrenches me and it makes me feel like someone has a part of her. Sometimes after we have sex her legs shake, so it's definitely at the very least somewhat satisfying. I'm just not sure how much she values or respects me and it torments me like no other, so much that it makes me question everything I do, how much it appeases her, and how much she respects/values/wants me in return. I wish I could talk to someone, Jesus Christ, but it's all so personal I don't want anyone to know.

Thanks OP, typing this feels really good. Lately I've had trouble just living in the moment.

[Anonymous No.14800078]

>>14786780
Good job my man.. being completely serious that took more balls than the majority of people here have

[Anonymous No.14800088]

>>14800068
going through some very similar shit broski. my gf is my top priority but i feel like lately she doesn't appreciate me and just takes me for granted. i'm constantly showering her with love and being affectionate and she doesn't really do the same for me. she takes no interest in my work while expecting me to care deeply about hers. i just can't shake this feeling that she doesn't care about me nearly as much as i care about her, and doesn't consider me an important priority. and i'm in the same boat of wanting to talk to somebody about this stuff but it feeling too personal to just bring up.

[Anonymous No.14800106]

>>14800068
Keep in mind that of all the men in the world and more precisely of all her immediate suitors (she probably had many more than you knew) she had one choice and she chose you. Whenever the doubts arise, meditate on this fact and do so often. I'm sure it will dispel the doubts.

[Anonymous No.14800108]

>>14800088
on top of that my sex drive is substantially higher than hers (partially exacerbated by the medication i'm on) so she very rarely initiates, and rejects me when i try to initiate, so i'll often spend the entire time i'm with her sexually frustrated and feeling ignored and not cared about. i really really love this girl but this stuff is really starting to bother me. i hate this feeling that i don't mean as much to her as she does to me.

[Anonymous No.14800147]

>>14800088
>>14800108
Fuck dude, ya. I've been there before. Try turning her on, do stuff that builds tensions. Only advice I can give, because being open to women is like talking to a wall sometimes. They'll hear you, even respond, but nothing will change. Sometimes you have to feel them out (this is how I feel) and try to read them and then respond to your readings. If I had to guess, your guys sex life could be improved? I'm sorry you're in love with someone who is making you feel that way, it's a terrible feeling that just tears down your self-worth.

>>14800106
I've thought of this before. I just then end up thinking that she is becoming tired of me and what attracted her to me at first has faded, or the curiosity was killed. Like, now some other dude can give her that same curiosity, and that situation terrifies me because I'm unsure of what situations if there are any, I would lose her.

What really kills me about all of this is the fact I feel like she can carry on without me and get over it, however I feel torn down the middle when I think of being without her. I just feel so fucking worthless and low. Shit.

[Anonymous No.14800149]

>>14800147
>>14800108
>>14800088
Also, you gotta be ok with not having the sex. Like if she rejects you you just gotta be like, that's ok I get it, then go back to your drawing board and try to adjust how you're not setting a mood for her.

[Anonymous No.14800173]

>>14800147
>>14800149
yeah I'm trying, last weekend (she lives a good while away so we generally only see each other on weekends) I played into one of her fetishes a lot. which helped, but I think she just has a much lower sex drive than me, so we can only do so much. but what you said about women hearing you but nothing changing is exactly true. I'll bring up issues I have and she'll be somewhat apologetic and all that, but within a week everything is back to the baseline. shit fuckin sucks bro. if we broke up, I would be a neurotic mess and she would be fine.

[Anonymous No.14800187]

>>14800068
>>14800088
The same exact worries you guys are having now women had up until one or two generations ago. I even remember as a kid hearing my mom and her friends gossiping the same things. But now things have reversed completely.

[Anonymous No.14800225]

>>14800187
You know that Pompeii graffiti where a man taunts another man saying that the girl he courts doesn't reciprocate. I get what you're saying but I'd just add that I think both partners regardless of gender have always been worried about not being loved back.

[Anonymous No.14800228]

>>14800187
This. Fucking this. You guys are really pussies and a embarassing caricature of a woman on a mans body.

[Anonymous No.14800240]

>>14800228

[Anonymous No.14800249]

>>14800173
Ya, that's possibly it then. Try compromising, see if instead of sex she'll just give you a blowjob or a handjob.

>>14800187
So what's the takeaway? That this is progress? A gender equality dialectic?

>>14800228
Ya, that's exactly what I'm afraid she sees too. I just don't know what's real about us.

[STFU No.14800267]

>>14800068
Grow up and stop being a pussy.

[Anonymous No.14800273]

>>14800267
How do I stop being a pussy? By doing what?

[Anonymous No.14800277]

>>14800228
To be fair to them, almost everyone is like that now. Isn't exactly their fault.
>>14800249
To me at least this isn't much of a progress, but yeah it's a result of the """progress""". If it is a dialetic it doesn't seem like the antithesis or the synthesis will happen in our youth.

[Anonymous No.14800300]

>>14800273
>>14800267
I clearly feel ashamed of these feelings which is why I can't vocalize them, only submit them anonymously. I know I'm being overly-sensitive, but the feelings are happening to me, I'm not in control of them. The woman who wants me to marry her is seemingly sending me signs that I am disposable. I'm not sure if these signs are real.

I wonder what your life is like and how much you're living up to what you're pushing.

>>14800277
I wonder why we're like this then. I do feel soft in general with relationships when I open up a calloused exterior.

[Anonymous No.14800312]

>>14800249
Anon, I'm sorry if I was rude, but my ex-gf was exactly like you and let me tell you: there's nothing more annoying than dating a insecure person. At the beggining I really tried to be patient and tell her it was all in her head but jesus fucking christ after a while it starts to get so annoying that it was actually making me want to distance myself from her. So yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I'll assume you are young and she is your first gf, so I guess you will have to learn things the hard way and nothing I could tell you will make much of a difference, but if I can give you one advice is: talk to her, be honest about what you are feeling and ask her to be honest about what she thinks of you. She will either crush you with the reality of her perception of yourself or just tell you it's all your head (wich very likely is the case or she will already dumped your insecure ass), either way you will have to trust her and workout on getting better. Just don't screw things up and don't be so needy, everyone needs space.

[Anonymous No.14800335]

>>14800312
I really appreciate this, my concern is that she has hidden and even subconscious motives to marry me for appeasement of her family and a life ideal rather than the cohesion or synthesis of our persons, if that even makes sense.

I'm going to try to be more secure, but my issue is that I don't know where to root my security, (probably in my favorite aspects about myself? I'll try doing this). Also, the issue with the insecurity is that you're not sure what's real about what you're feeling, and then your insecure feelings will become validated in one way or another and then you think everything you've felt was real. But you're right, it will easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Anonymous No.14800451]

>>14800335
It's all good, just don't let neurotic toughts take a hold of you and everything will be fine.

[Anonymous No.14800482]

I'm going offline for a week starting on a few hours. I pretend to use the free time from internet to read more, write and meditate. Wish me luck boys.

[Anonymous No.14800537]

>>14786780
I emailed my study abroad prof leader person about contact other students so I won’t get lost in an airport and she offered to set up a GroupMe if I give her the link, but I’m anxious about doing that because idk if I want to be seen as a student trip leader type yknow? I’m fuckin awkward and a misfit, I don’t know anyone else yet but I’m sure they’re what you’d call “normal”

[Anonymous No.14800744]

If this virus is as contagious as it seems then it seems likely to me it’s already widespread but not being noticed because it’s flu season anyway and if you’re not an old boomer then there’s no reason you’re going to go to the doctor over the flu. And since this shit only kills boomers and people with other existing disorders no one will notice. So I’m guessing the most likely outcome is that a substantial portion of the country gets infected, a bunch of boomers croak, while healthy people remain unsure if they got the boomercide disease or just had a cold.

[Anonymous No.14800927]

>>14800482
A week is a tad much, are you sure?

[Anonymous No.14800950]

>>14796355
Just ask her, in a charming yet clueless manner.

[Anonymous No.14801024]

So is this virus gonna fuck the supply chains or what? People freak out so often it's hard to tell when a happening is real but my gut is telling me that this could actually be an economic shit-show.

[Anonymous No.14801036]

Starting work as an electrical apprentice has left me numb, I feel like a complete failure in life as well as utterly retarded. Everyone in the trade who has been in it for 10+ years talks about how they should have picked a different path in life and about how much they hate the trade. But then when I talk about how I hate it already and want to leave they just tell me to stick with it and at least finish the apprenticeship. Which is a logical conclusion so I have a certificate behind my name but putting up with being miserable and hating my existence for the remaining years doesn't seem worth it.

[Anonymous No.14801050]

>>14801036
>Everyone in the trade who has been in it for 10+ years talks about how they should have picked a different path in life and about how much they hate the trade.

While I have no doubt it does indeed suck, keep in mind that people in every single line of work repeat this same line. You'll probably be miserable whatever you do.

[Anonymous No.14801054]

>>14801024
Internationally: yes
Domestically (burgerland): probably not too much, people will just keep doing their jobs even when then probably have the disease because a. the government has no real system in place to respond to this and b. no one actually manning the supply chains is in a position to take sick leave

[Anonymous No.14801110]

>>14791405
good luck fren

[Anonymous No.14801126]

>>14801054
unfortunately i'm from bongland

[Anonymous No.14801129]

i am incredibly tired of progressives running shit at my school and wish i could just avoid politics at all costs

[Anonymous No.14802109]

Whats the scientific explanation of sexual fetish? Its seems like it happens at random.

[Anonymous No.14802358]

>>14802109
I mean, what's the scientific explanation for sexual orientation? That seems random too, and there's no gay gene it would seem. Pychoanalysts would suggest that fetishes are formed in childhood and are attempts to fulfil a certain lack in our psyche. Foot fetishes are formed in children who feel ignored by their mothers, and so spend their early childhoods staring at her feet instead. Not sure if I buy that though.

[Anonymous No.14802396]

>>14802109
Something that you have seen in childhood and puberty that slightly fucked up your sexual drive. If i correctly remember.

[Anonymous No.14802444]

>>14802358
I read somewhere that the more creative people have more fetishes.

[Anonymous No.14802484]

>>14802444
Yet another example of the inferiority of high IQ. A symptom of the literate and systematized mind. If you can read this you're not going to make it

[Anonymous No.14802637]

Has anybody here managed to deal with the self-imposed pressure to feel productive? I feel like I can never relax, I feel guilty watching even TV because I feel like I should be 'doing' something. I do read quite a bit, and I write (though less than I'd like) but I still feel like every moment I'm not doing something I should be doing something productive. I feel this great big panic like I'm wasting my time, yet at the same time, paralyzed with indecision, creating a disgusting internal dissonance like a non-stop clattering in my head. I know I'm not unique in this, what is there to do?

I'm not sure if I need to pour my time into more productive measures or if I need to just learn to relax?

[Anonymous No.14802693]

>>14796123
never heard someone else explain this but I have this problem in interactions too and never understood it. I feel like every time someone speaks I can see through to the most base human instinct driving them to say what they're saying. i realized a lot of what I said was bullshit too so I basically just stopped and found that most people are insufferable in conversation. I don't want to be a self-important prick about it but the couple of times I've brought it up to people they didn't understand at all.

[Anonymous No.14802765]

>>14796123
I guess this is the way of things. As social animals we want to secure our place in the hierarchy. Either by domination (if we are stronger) or by subterfuge (if we are weaker). The fight for survival: for food, for sex, social status, power. People who do this are normal and work as intended by nature. The weirdness of it stems––if it is weird at all, which I dont think it is––the weirdness stems from the modern environment in which we enact this primordial savagery. Lofty thoughts and lizard brains, dreamed up half-gods that we are, and monkey-faced shiteaters. You are doing the same thing they are doing. We all are. We were born to flex. You should probably use your insights to dominate your foes; that is, your friends and companions. I'd wager your self-awareness hasnt hit rock bottom yet. What are you doing in conversation? What are your strategies? I dont believe one moment that your are an exception to the great natural law of fucking other people over. Everything we do is double-faced. I give my friend a hug ... because I love him ... and nothing else, right? I wont find any instinctual egoism underneath the friendliness ... that is not to say the friendliness in my hug doesnt exist ... just, that there always are ulterior motives. We cannot help it.

[Anonymous No.14803066]

>>14800088
This was me a little over a year ago but I also had a lot of personal things going on. Long story short I left my job and she broke up with me before I even got home. She basically just said she didn’t love me anymore and didn’t for a while. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since.

[Anonymous No.14803079]

>>14801036
I’m pretty convinced that vocational calling is important and it sounds like those guys don’t have it there. To be honest though, almost nobody is in their proper vocation anymore and most people say this about their job if they do it long enough. It’s entirely possible that you’ll feel the same but necessarily.

[Anonymous No.14803094]

>>14801036
>>14803079
I also just want to say that while I might be approaching this from a grass is greener mentality, I personally wish I had picked up a trade like that when I was younger because it would’ve freed me up to pursue education in something that actually matters to me and the world. Instead I got a business degree that I didn’t want, spent a bunch of money, wasted a ton of time, learned absolutely nothing of value, and now I’m stuck in a job that is so sedentary, restrictive, and subhuman that it contributes to suicidal thoughts. There’s a fakeness to it that is hard to convey until you’ve experienced it. Maybe the worst case scenario is that working as an electrician is a necessary step to free you up for something more important.

[Anonymous No.14803103]

>>14787350
How do I get their number if I dont care? If I dont care I'll end up alienating them or offending them

[Anonymous No.14803104]

>>14801054
America is the only place on earth where people who are healthy fake being sick so they don’t have to work. They have sick people fake being healthy so they can “work”. I say “work” because usually it’s not even actually work. It’s just a compulsion to show up so you can keep up fake appearances and keep your job.

[Anonymous No.14803255]

>>14787845
Butcher's Crossing

[Anonymous No.14803418]

Capitalism is so free that you spend 2000 euro on a computer so Microsoft can own it. So nice to not even be able to control when your Windows updates, truly amazing iteration of Windows. Windows 10 must die a painful death.

[Anonymous No.14803517]

Nothing is random.

[Anonymous No.14803554]

>>14786780
I'm really worried that I meme'd myself into being a hebephile.

[Anonymous No.14803565]

>>14803517
no free will?

[Anonymous No.14803667]

>>14787017
+1

[Anonymous No.14803682]

Wondering if the reason i've never committed myself to doing any work is that i've never found anything true enough or if this is just a cope for having wasted a life thus far

[Anonymous No.14804405]

>>14798926
How do you propose the MA program appraise you without the requisite BA? Or without even a handful of relevant credits?
Answer, find one of those bullshit MA programs that accepts every applicant and charges you out the ass for a meaningless degree from a D-list school.
Alternatively, just enroll in night-classes for the BA, and pursue your academics alongside your business career. Like most people.

[Anonymous No.14804429]

>>14787366
If Hannibal had won all women would look like this

[Anonymous No.14804540]

>>14799488
This truly sound like the start to a sad book

[Anonymous No.14804695]

I think my government is sending out massive amounts of electrical signal in the middle of the night in a way to kill off the coronavirus. Last night I woke up and all my electronics were making the strangest noises, their lights were flickering on and off, and I felt so sick I felt like I was going to throw up.

[Anonymous No.14804734]

Tomorrow im going to the job market event (bunch of employers). I think i'll go there, see a lot of people showing enthusiasm and talking about career prospects, realize that im a loser who cant compete with all those people, leave and go straight to the bar.

[Anonymous No.14804916]

Can’t get the coronavirus if you never leave the house.
Shut ins win again!

[Anonymous No.14804972]

>>14787017
based

[Anonymous No.14805097]

>>14786780
They keep trying to bury him. But you can't kill what won't die. And he always comes back.

[Anonymous No.14805141]

>>14792443
Nobody has.

[Anonymous No.14805150]

>>14794673
The freedom of it all is certainly attractive.

[Anonymous No.14805160]

>>14795555
I've been there too, a few times with the book I'm currently trying to write. You just gotta push through it, and never lose sight of why you're writing in the first place. It gets better. You just gotta be able to take that first step.

[Anonymous No.14805170]

>>14797096
Pay up nigga

[Anonymous No.14805196]

>>14796123
>>14802765
I've noticed that my insight into this has resulted in a sort of suspension at the start of a social interaction. For the first maybe 10-30 minutes I try to restrain as much as I can in engaging/'playing' but after that I slowly sink into same patterns. When I'm drunk I lessen the bodily anxiety that sometimes accompanies the feeling of restraining. For me the problem isn't only that people incessantly signal it's that books/podcasts have super stimmed my brain and now the averge person is horribly boring.

[Anonymous No.14805765]

It just dawned on me that the only way to be selfless is to go along with things you feel indifferent to. Put that way, it doesn't sound desirable or interesting.

[Anonymous No.14806188]

>>14794716
On the right is your unconscious desire to put a rubber band around your balls

[Anonymous No.14806222]

>>14796171
Хyжe нe жить, чeм yмepeть. Coвeтyю cтpoгий peжим cпopтa и пoeздкy в Cибиpь.

>лyзep

[Anonymous No.14806241]

>>14806222
What is there to do in Siberia

[Anonymous No.14806336]

>>14794673
become a timberman

[Anonymous No.14806503]

Guilt-free violence and how we're at a loss for not having it. The appeal of genres like zombie apocalypse is in the permission it grants ordinary people to commit acts of extreme brutality. Smash in the zombie's skull with a sledgehammer. Decapitate it with a machete. You're doing God's work. Or slash the foul orc so that its oily blood sprays into the air. Stab it right through the eye. They're orcs, shambling man-sized bipedal bacteria; they fundamentally suck so smite them.

The softening aspects of the modern world corrupt and dilute masculinity and no doubt lead to psychological problems. There's no room to get medieval on anyone's ass, more's the pity. I am reminded of certain attractions in Tokyo where you can pay to smash a bunch of plates. Overworked salarymen and jaded youths alike happily dole out the cash for the pleasure.
One might envision (as in the TV show Westworld) a corollary to sex dolls, murder dolls. Where perhaps instead of being humanoid they might resemble a tolkienesque orc or other such fell creature. Armed with a sword or mace you can have a ball dismembering them left and right for a reasonable fee.

[Anonymous No.14807242]

>>14799667
Yes and no.

The mind is a complex thing. I think what matters is not the right or the wrong but: what you take from it, how you respond, it is not an object nor disease you can cure, but a window. Whether you find it meaningful to express, or shameful to suppress, or both as to live alongside it. The work is largely up to us. Personally I treat it as a perspective experiment, a creative process, an inversion of sorts, we are the mannequin, which more or less is always the same, what changes is our mask and the light which passes through its lens.

[Anonymous No.14807490]

>>14788381
The kingdom of heaven is within you now fuck off

[Anonymous No.14807581]

TERFs think they can define what being a woman is but I believe that cannot be determined prescriptively. I cannot define what being a man is, I can only share what that is to me, a man. I can only define my own masculinity.

Occult philosophy considers maleness to be what generates by taking something out of itself, and femaleness what generates by taking something into itself. That is what makes them positive and negative. Neither can generate without each other, but how the fuck does that relate to our society's gender roles? Why should a person with a female physical generative principle not be expected to be able to make a fine blacksmith? Why should a person with a male physical generative principle not be expected to be nurturing? What does the physical generative principle determine a person's character?

[Anonymous No.14807615]

White girls with fat asses and gay twinks are the only 2 things in my mind on any given time

[Anonymous No.14807616]

>>14788012
>>14787350
That's some Patrice O'neil shit, I rather die a romantic

[Anonymous No.14807677]

still dealing with post-breakup depression and at times it hurts like a motherfucker

[Anonymous No.14807916]

>>14786780
Does true altruism even exist? If you help someone in need, and derive pleasure from it, then it wasn't completely altuistic, as you had your own selfish reason to do- to be satisfied that you've helped someone. Going by this logic, it's only altruism if you did it despite yourself and didn't enjoy it or want in the first place. Or maybe my standards are unrealistic.

[Anonymous No.14807947]

It feels wrong to waste thoughts here but the prospect of someone randomly reading it is intoxicating, strangely enhanced by the anonymity , that perverse and morality-defying conveyor of truth.

So much of life is how you choose to interpret it, this is the existential content of living experience. In the supreme quietude of ambiguous existence there is fundamental uncertainty to identity unless it is expressed. Objectivity is described as "filling in" one's identity unless the self asserts itself as a content stemming from within. Circumstance appear to dictate one's truth, or appear to, in the form of relations of power, role, placement within the social order. The deeper, repressed, harder reality is that such objectivity is empty, the "silence of the universe." So that we are paradoxically forced to be free in Sartre's sense. The inability to know what to do with this fundamental freedom of the self's dilemma to articulate itself from within.
If we didn't feel a certain truth in the bones about who yourself is other possibilities for ourselves would be possible, and if enough of this happened around the world an entire different world could emanate from the collective consciousness. It could, but it so often doesn't, because the raw burden of objectivity presses down its intense pressure on any vacant or unfulfilled aspect of one's identity. If you don't tell yourself what you are the world will.
Therein lies the deadly nature of trauma or oppression. resistant objective power hammering itself into one's ego, pushing down the more aspiring more advanced spirit.

[Anonymous No.14807957]

>>14807916
Yes, there is altruism, though it is slightly different from what people believe. An action can be altruistic, a person cannot. A person always carries qualities that go against "pure" altruism. An action, however, can have all the qualities of what makes something altruistic. A person acting altruistic is altruistic on the surface. If you look beneath the surface, you will find in the person egoistical motives, known or unknow to the person. But what really matters is not what is inside the person, but what is outside. The action weighs heavier than the intention.

[Anonymous No.14807979]

"I am not free to be free but forced to be free."

[Anonymous No.14808129]

>>14807916
Only if you're not a materialist

[Anonymous No.14808842]

I will be graduating this June. I haven't learnt anything worthwhile. I never wanted to study engineering but i bullshit my way through it. Up till now that is. I have girls hitting me up, i have a job in hand that i got through the campus yet i feel empty. All my life I've been avoiding my dream of working in music. I don't want to be a star. I just want to work with music, or in the industry. These coming months will be hard. I think i am going to quit everything and focus on music. I will probably kill myself by 26 if i take up that corporate job. I am tormented by memories of my high school best friend. She was a socially awkward uggo like me but she hit it big at the sport she was playing. When she moved to another country for education, i hit my schizo phase and i ghosted everyone in my life. I tried to reconcile with her. But i only made matters worse. Fuck it and fuck everything. What matters is that i will take the leap. I will charge head first in to real life and accept my share of the scathing that is life. I don't know if i will succeed. But this is what my entire life has lead to. It is time.

[Anonymous No.14808889]

>>14787017
yes

[Anonymous No.14809119]

>>14807581
Because gender is convomuted bullshit made to sell mentall illnesses (and with them create lifelong patients that eagerly pay for your invented "treatments")

Men and women indeed have mentally two opposite poles of creativity, but naming them "masculine and femenine" is misleading as they do not correspond to male and female necessarily; these two forces are creativity and discipline.

Because one person has more of one or the other mentally in no way or form means that they are "the opposite sex" mentally.

[Anonymous No.14809446]

>>14786780
Visual attraction has almost nothing to do with a mans likelihood of finding a woman. I used to work at a fry shop where me and my coworkers were constantly covered in grease (usually unshowered) and wed still talk to girls that came in from the neighbouring bars with success. My friend even had the most cringe anime music playing at full volume so it could be heard from the cash and he still did fine.

Women are attracted to behaviours that predict success. They can read your personality like its written on your face. All you have to do while approaching a girl is balance being as deliberate and assertive as possible (albeit under minimal necessary force at all times) with fairness by respecting the fact that you have to win her approval so you dont come off as a pushy idiot or a rapist.

Be deliberate with your words and actions. Look her in the eye. Use minimal necessary force with your words, tone, body language. Notice her reception and know when to ease off if she seems uninterested (if she ever seems uninterested, backing off casually without running away completely to show that you arent defeated by the loss will be your only chance at coming back so to speak). Do not under any circumstances come off as though your feelings would be considerably hurt if she turned you down (acting extra okay with it to suppress it is just as bad). Dont be jumpy and excited unless that's your personality. Try and learn to have fun with small talk so you arent just approaching girls and asking them for socials. If you ever humiliate yourself, allow it to be funny and do not overreact with defence or shame.

Also, if you fail at this^ but the girl seems into you anyway there is a high probability that shes crazy or at least into being the dominant partner, which you may not want.

[Anonymous No.14809451]

>>14791975
Retard none of those are right

[Anonymous No.14809490]

> you wake up in a russian village
> meme wars, imageboards, misery, the endless cycle was a dream
> it's warm and smells tasty, early summer sun pinkily illuminating the window
> you stretch and lay down again, no responsibilities ahead
> you are now a kot
> live is good

[Anonymous No.14810754]

>>14786780
Imagine being happy about failure

[Anonymous No.14811875]

>>14810754
Imagine shaming someone for being proud they took a risk or tried to do something that doesn't have a guaranteed 100% success rate

[Anonymous No.14811952]

>>14791715
Alienation, disaffection

[Anonymous No.14811988]

>>14790311
I wish we all lived in an alternate reality were it was encouraged to punch girls with huge eyebrows right between the eyes.

[Anonymous No.14812056]

>>14803667
Based fellow Google pluser

[Anonymous No.14812058]

>>14787017
xDxDxD

[Anonymous No.14812062]

Incel post incel post

[Anonymous No.14812424]

>>14812062
this is a good safe haven for /r9k/ crossover posters, leave them be. besides, every board is some twist of /r9k/ so don't kid yourself, if anything this is more of a containment thread of sorts. I still enjoy reading the posts when I'm bored.

[Anonymous No.14812481]

>>14801036
I'm a lawyer. I'm in the same position as you in regards to hating my job and life, but I had to spend far more time and money to get there. I'm jealous of you, frankly. Sounds like your path was the lesser evil.

[Anonymous No.14813388]

>>14806241
>>14806336

[Anonymous No.14813394]

>>14811156
>>14811156
>>14811156
>>14811156

[Anonymous No.14813412]

>>14787017
big mood

[Anonymous No.14813418]

>>14813394
> anime edition
Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.14813430]

>>14788029
Based and woman pilled
>>14788788
You think you do, but you don't, 788, 788.

[Anonymous No.14813465]

Oh mama, I can feel the soil pouring over my head...

[Anonymous No.14813509]

>>14809446
Good insight. I've been only claiming my share of trickled down pussy because I am not assertive enough. I lose out on quality girls because I get too lazy and don't pursue them hard enough. As a result all i get stuck with are crazies. How do I start being more assertive bros

[Anonymous No.14813845]

>>14787017
YEP

[Anonymous No.14814278]

>>14787017
fpbp