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/lit/ - Literature


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14402703 No.14402703 [Reply] [Original]

The first, original branch in philosophical thinking concerns the fundamental question of life, that is: whether or not there is anything more important than being alive. It seems that everything that follows is merely an elaboration or embellishment of that first answer, in which everything important is already contained. I thought this while sitting on the shitter.

>> No.14402712

>>14402703
I think all philosophical problems stem in some way from the consciousness problem, or mind-body, or whatever you want to call it. The contrast between our being aware and the objects we see in our awareness that don't themselves seem to be aware.

>> No.14402718
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14402718

Baby steps niggas, I watch one movie per day, read some chapters per day, go to the gym, eat healthy, take my multivitamins, have a cold shower, spend time with my family and research things I find interesting. I realized that I have time, but I have to use my time well. There's no point in worrying "I'm going to die before I finish all the books/movies/games I want to read/watch/play!". There's less than 1000 movies worth watching, less than 1000 games worth playing and I would estimate that the number of books actually worth reading is much lower than that. So don't feel like you're in a rush to finish everything as fast as you can, as long as you do a little bit per day, you'll get there eventually.

>> No.14402721

>>14402718
Which movie are you gonna watch today, anon?

>> No.14402728

>>14402712
I guess that one is a big early question too, though more for the philosophically minded crowd, it seems. The "Is there something worth dying for" question is more practical and in the thoughts of working folk, so its application is broader. The life-death-question basically asks itself, while the consciousness-questions needs some help to exist. But maybe not so.

>> No.14402729

I don't know what's so draining about travel. I'm going back to spend Christmas with the family. It will be a good break from work and a chance to catch up with my nieces. But to go there I need to get on a bus, and that has been ruining my shit all week. I have to set out in three hours now and I haven't been able to do anything all day. Not read, not play games, not even shitpost effectively. Just sat there and stared at my bags. To add insult to the injury I'm up to date on all my podcasts, so I can't even listen to anything to kill the time.

>> No.14402743

>>14402729
Read a book. Play chess on lichess. That's what I'm doing when I have to travel. You'll be there soon.

>> No.14402778

Go to sleep at 11p, wake up at 3a with my heart pounding in my chest. Ah, anxiety again, for no reason other than the approaching holiday. Look at the internet and listen to songs for the next three hours. Fall asleep again at 6a. Wake up with alarm at 7a.

>> No.14402804

>>14402729
Just sit there and contemplate. Most people don't do enough of it.

>> No.14402831

>>14402728
I think the something-worth-dying-for question can't really be made sense of without an ontology of conscious experience. All the concepts involved in the former are more qualities of awareness than anything that can be directly pointed to in the world(which is not to say they don't really exist outside subjectivity, but that the question has to be formulated in the first place).

>> No.14403024

>>14402721
Metropolis (anime)

>> No.14403116

I really wish I had a Druze girlfriend....

>> No.14403135

>>14403024
I like that one. Have you seen it before?

>> No.14403183

So on New Year's I will visit a friend in Gdansk, and I'm looking forward yo being degenerate all together with my buds. He is a great friend, too, this guy, the best kind. Then I'm going to Praga, to visit this qt that looks like that blonde from Friends Aniston something.. I'm excited because we have a lot to talk about and I get to stare at those beautiful blue fisheyes of hers. I hope that I can talk her into coming to Switzerland with me to visit my half-sister's family. Max will be there too. From what I can gather, he is our father. So I'm also stoked that I get to shake his hand and meet him. My only wish is that I find the strength not to cry.

>> No.14403184

>>14403116
I wish you were my girlfriend.

>> No.14403258

my peeepee is big
dingalingaling
my peepee is big
dingalingaling
peepee peepee
hehe hehe

>> No.14403349
File: 264 KB, 380x458, 1525115613857.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14403349

New shoes
Nigger baby runs
No
NO
The shoes won't be found

>> No.14403397

・In the middle of this world there is a giant spear reaching all the way to heaven
・Gods exist
・And they are worshipped
・Humans exist
・With history, culture and civilization
・Perhaps something beyond both gods and humans exists
・There's land and nature
・There's law
・There's magic
・And maybe it's all just a simulation
・In the end it's just a string of Japanese words
・Witches exist
・And 71 sisters do, too
・The demon lord faces off against the hero
・There's tofu just walking around
・There's chuuni teenagers saying stuff that doesn't quite make sense
・There's a cat pressing the reset button and everything ends

>> No.14403413 [DELETED] 

Two days’ travel separated the youth — he was still too young
to have thrust his roots down firmly into life — from his own
world, from all that he thought of as his own duties, interests, cares
and prospects; far more than he had dreamed it would when he
sat in the carriage on the way to the station. Space, rolling and re-
volving between him and his native heath, possessed and wielded
the powers we generally ascribe to time. From hour to hour it
worked changes in him, like to those wrought by time, yet in a
way even more striking. Space, like time, engenders forgetfulness;
but it does so by setting us bodily free from our surroundings and
giving us back our primitive, unattached state. Yes, it can even, in
the twinkling of an eye, make something like a vagabond of the
pedant and Philistine. Time, we say, is Lethe; but change of air is
a similar draught, and, if it works less thoroughly, does so more
quickly.

>> No.14403437

>>14402729
Two days’ travel separated the youth — he was still too young
to have thrust his roots down firmly into life — from his own
world, from all that he thought of as his own duties, interests, cares
and prospects; far more than he had dreamed it would when he
sat in the carriage on the way to the station. Space, rolling and re-
volving between him and his native heath, possessed and wielded
the powers we generally ascribe to time. From hour to hour it
worked changes in him, like to those wrought by time, yet in a
way even more striking. Space, like time, engenders forgetfulness;
but it does so by setting us bodily free from our surroundings and
giving us back our primitive, unattached state. Yes, it can even, in
the twinkling of an eye, make something like a vagabond of the
pedant and Philistine. Time, we say, is Lethe; but change of air is
a similar draught, and, if it works less thoroughly, does so more
quickly.

>> No.14403440

>>14403397
this unironically reads like my diary desu

>> No.14403461

>>14403440
post

>> No.14403479

>>14402718
>there's less worthwhile books than games or movies
What the fuck are you on about? What kind of stupid ass nigger objective are you striving towards that doesn't find itself pioneered in literature but entertainment instead?

>> No.14403540

Culture is an entirely political phenomenon. There are practices, discourses, arts, philosophy and so on, but the connection of all of these practices is done by the political rather than the political being something "downstream" from the cohesion of these practices. This is not a Marxist view about base and superstructure, per se. Rather, if this is to be explained in terms of political economy it needs to be explained with supply and demand: that culture is manufactured where the political opportunity and will exist. Culture is the realization of the political. The process is not dialectical, it is not as if because the culture realizes a political order that it actually causes the political order which will demand a new culture. Rather, it is unidirectional because the political itself changes on its own.

The best example of this might be Germany in the 19th Century: the political demand for a unified German nation in the wake of the French revolution and the stillbirth of Enlightenment cosmopolitanism preceded the mature academic and aesthetic project of creating a "German culture" that could be transmitted to the next generation who built a German state.

This happened in England much earlier during Tudor times with Shakespeare. The Wars of the Roses and the English Reformation were a radical shift in the English political order, the effective suicide and genocide of traditional feudal estates. In his historical plays especially, Shakespeare helped invent English nationalism and reconstituting English history by it.

>> No.14403656

>>14402703
You're assuming being alive is important. The first question is whether life is worth living.

>> No.14403674

Been thinking about the mess of ideology that transgenderism and “gender queerness” has developed into. I’m not a /pol/ guy and I have no animosity towards these people, but I don’t see how this is going to work in the long run. Having “non-binary” as an identity seems particularly nonsensical to me. The vast majority of traits are either considered masculine or feminine, there’s no way to construct a third option. And this reflects with what “non-binary” people end up being, in my experience they’re all either
* people who have a mix of feminine and masculine traits (like a bearded guy in a dress, for a crude example)
* people who want to be transgender but can’t be transgender because “transgender” means “transsexual” though we pretend it doesn’t (another mess of contradictions there)
* straight women who want to be “queer” for work points
There is a third category in a sense but it’s “mixed”, not “none of the above”.
A lot of this seems to stem from trying to square the views that gender is an important, essential part of a person and that gender is a social construct. You can’t have both! This idea of “identification” is cancerous, you don’t need to to “identify” as a woman or non-man if you want to wear a skirt. I read a manga where great contrast was given to a cross dressing man who identified as a man vs a cross dressing man who did not identify as a man but also did not identify as a woman. They’re the same! It’s purely this labeling nonsense of “identification” that you have used to draw a division!

Really though it’s the dogma that annoys me. I would be flayed alive for expressing these views in a “woke” environment, even though I have nothing but good will towards people I presume have or are suffering because of this shit. Like fuck me for wanting people to be happy and accepted and doubting this insanity is going to lead to it, right?

>> No.14403776

what's it like living in a country with niggers in it? Simply knowing that there's a chance the women you hook up with it(potentially your future wife and mother to your kids) to have been fucked by a nigger has to be absolutely horrifying.

>> No.14403940

I'm starting to realize that my crossdressing fetish is basically a "wish" to become different person because i think i'd be more comfortable to be anyone else than myself. I caught myself looking at lingerie in mall and wanting to wear it but then i started saying to myself that it's just fetish object and i wasnt interested in it.

>> No.14403954

>>14403940
a look into the mind of a future 40%er
are you a white zoomer?

>> No.14403965

>>14402703
I'm not sure I want the result of meditation, or to obtain it in that way. I am already mentally ill, and meditation could make it a lot worse. I don't want anything to do with mysticism at all, ever. This includes ancient philosophy, which included mysticism in its methods. It's so fruitless. I just want this life to go without any major injuries, and to die peacefully.

>> No.14403999

>>14403540
>the political demand for a unified German nation in the wake of the French revolution and the stillbirth of Enlightenment cosmopolitanism preceded the mature academic and aesthetic project of creating a "German culture" that could be transmitted to the next generation who built a German state.
If that's your best example then your argument is pretty trash. What makes that demand a political one? If you define the people's will as a political phenomenon then of course culture is politics, you literally took culture and included it in your definition of politics.

>> No.14404003

>>14403656
Contemplating what's more and less important than life is the same as contemplating whether life is important you fucking brainlet. You can't contemplate without comparison the same way you can't do physics without a frame of reference.

>> No.14404005
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14404005

>>14403776
It sucks. I don't care about the sexual history of a girl im hooking up with, but to think that the mother of my children has been ravaged by a filthy subhuman ape is repulsive. You have to do a full sexual history check on any girl you want to marry. And no, this doesn't mean just asking her "hey how many people have you fucked and were any of them nonwhite?" because of course she'll lie. You have to ask her friends and family, dig through social media, and basically become a P.I. so that you can be sure that no gorilla has had your woman. I wish I lived in an all white country.
t. American

>> No.14404007

>>14403965
I'm at a complete dead end and don't have anything to do with my time. I can entertain myself with my thoughts pretty well, and maybe that's enough for me. I don't want to get back together with my former friends, and I'm too disabled to do anything of scholastic merit.

>> No.14404020

>>14403954
>are you a white zoomer?
nah, i'm 27.

>> No.14404062

>>14403674
To make sense of the absurd gender-related ideas that have popped up over the last decade, I view the whole thing as a swing of the pendulum. In the 20th century, mainstream views on gender were very strict and dogmatic: men work, women stay home; boys play with fire trucks, girls with dolls. If you happened to be a guy who enjoyed dancing, this didn't sit right with people and they saw it as a pathological trait. Right now we're in a time in which people (I should add, this is a minority of people) are pushing for the other extreme, ie that gender doesn't exist. This ignores biology and evolution and is obviously farcical but it's a necessary step in a more sensible direction, one in which gender allows more deviation from the norm.

But all this aside, identity politics is indeed cancer. The whole ordeal is a result of narcissism. Me me me, my gender, my sexual identity. Shut the fuck up and do something instead of wasting your life talking about what you think you are.

>> No.14404070

>>14404003
I'm with Camus. The first question is suicide.

>> No.14404088

moments are eternal

the local is all that matters

>> No.14404107

>>14404070
We all know the answer is "doesn't matter" and we all know the actual first question is why does existence exist.

>> No.14404341

>>14403940
> to be anyone else than myself
I feel like you are rather looking to escape problems you currently have than transistioning.

>> No.14404398

>>14404341
Yes i do use escapism extensively because i dont believe i have any power to get through the obstacles. I've never been interested in transitioning (MtF style) perhaps i'd find it curious to disguise myself as a feminine character in costume party but even then it would be acting out the fetish (autogynephilia). I think it really comes from me being avoidant of problems or rather not knowing what i'm fighting against/acting out than having extreme body dysphoria. It's like it's enough for me to adore the object of beauty but i must become it even if it's only the act.

>> No.14404400

>think I look reasonably handsome
>someone shows me a profile shot of myself
>mfw I look like a weird alien when viewed from the side
>any trace of confidence vanishes
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m developing a complex in real time. What the FUCK lads?

>> No.14404408

>>14404400
i'm so sorry fellow chinlet. i know that feel all too well.

>> No.14404437

>>14402718
yet you still watch anime.

>> No.14404457

>>14404408
I don’t think it’s my chin, it’s not recessed or anything. It’s hard to say what exactly I don’t like but if I had to guess it’s that my head just looks too fucking big, it’s like a god damn cube.

>> No.14404461

>>14402703
I miss my boyfriend.

>> No.14404486

>>14404457
could you draw a profile?

>> No.14404575

>>14402703
>whether or not there is anything more important than being alive.

We've been doomed to ennui ever since we stopped having to forage or worry about getting eaten by lions. Animals don't worry about this stuff.

In the end you die anyway so it really doesn't matter what you choose to live or die for. If immortality was a thing, dying would probably have a lot more meaning.

>> No.14404650

a life of being raised by a single parent is actual living garbage

>> No.14404828

I'm your fucking William Wilson bitch.

>> No.14404876

>>14404107
No. Existence exists, period. You don't have to question its meaning to live in it. But to live in it means answering the question of suicide.

>> No.14404892

fuck it dude

>> No.14405069

>>14402656
>What are you talking about? I’ve already agreed that’s probably lots of people that were genetically Jews that we weren’t aware of, or that they weren’t aware of. Vice versa as well. You also should probably learn what Jewish means. You haven’t listed a single thing that it would change. Because it wouldn’t change anything. There’s no revelation to be had. IQ is quite well correlated with success and ashkenazis are the highest IQ ethnic group in the world. There’s no mystery to be discovered.

No, I do not at all agree that there were "lots of people that were genetically Jews that we weren’t aware of, or that they weren’t aware of." What I'm saying is that the possibility of such a situation being reality makes me paranoid.
>You haven’t listed a single thing that it would change.
Yes I have. I said it would completely change how we see European or rather Western civilization as we know it. Which is true. Unless of course you're a filthy Jewish nigger yourself.
>ashkenazis are the highest IQ ethnic group in the world
Maybe but they weren't magically endowed by God with a high IQ Not too long ago they were a bunch of retarded inbreds who couldn't understand a thing besides money and the torah. Their high IQ comes from centuries of their retards being killed off culminating in the Holocaust when all the smart ones saw what was coming and left while the retards stayed in Poland. Combine that with the fact that they always give each other positions of power which allows them access to better, higher education that the average prole can't get to.

>> No.14405595

bump

>> No.14405598

Honorificabilitudinitatibus

>> No.14405671

hitler was right about everything but for the wrong reasons

>> No.14405766

>>14404876
I don't give a single rational shit about living. Your argument only holds when you already deem life worth investigating. You're asking a question that can only be asked after you've already picked your favorite answer. It's flawed.

>No. Existence exists, period.
That's just fucking sad.

>> No.14406060

I want to have a child but I'll never have sex

>> No.14406481

Sex is the most overrated and 'normie' thing in existence

Embrace voluntary celibacy

>> No.14406495

>>14406481
>voluntary celibacy
Isn't celibacy already voluntary by definition?

>> No.14406509

>>14406495
Yes, except when you engage with 4channian.

>> No.14407107
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14407107

Just wanted to share some thoughts about my recent breakup.

I recently dated a girl who at one point I thought I was going to marry. We got along really well, and I enjoyed being in her presence. We dated for about a year and a half.

She was career oriented and didn't want to get married, have kids, or in the off chance we had kids, take care of them. It was all about the career, and yet, she had no real reason why she wanted her job. She was placing it above me, but when asked, couldn't explain why. It was always about her.
She came from a family background where the mother was a career oriented power woman who led the family, and a father who was for all intensive purposes a potato sack. He was very quiet, never stood up for anything, and his wife and daughters didn't really respect him.
I realized that if I continued dating her, I would undergo one of two paths. Either I would be divorced, marrying a girl who would never agree with me, and I would have to completely abandon all of the things I wanted in marriage (loving, supportive wife, kids, no competition between us, etc.), or I was going to end up like her father, a lifeless, husk of a man.

I broke up with her and cut all contact, and I feel at peace about that. I'm sorry to have hurt her, but I know it was for the best.

I often wonder what will happen to my ex. I foresee her either being childless and miserable, or with a whipped husband and miserable.
I thank God every day that I walked away from her.

Thanks for reading my thoughts.

>> No.14407140

I'm lost lads

My fiancee makes like 3x the money I do and I am thinking she doesn't want kids deep down in her heart. I'm to fucking old to start again. The whole idea of men turning into gods in their 30s fucking 22 year olds is a meme. My hair is thinning, I don't have time to workout as much, my personal goals are overshadowed by work. It's a dumb meme. I haven't read a book 6 months.

>> No.14407142

Every month or so as I lay in bed, I find myself outside myself, living moments of deep allegory to my waking life. I find myself saying the exact pain I have with others to their face, in twisted yet idealized versions of my hometown. I feel an incredible sense of catharsis as understanding finally exists between myself and those I've spoken my heart to, I look up and witness something I can never remember but always cherish. It culminates in the indescribable feeling of my being merging with another, like two souls collapsing into one. Years ago I would fight this feeling, now I embrace it, try to talk to the other soul, let myself merge into something else.

Then I snap back and hours have passed by. I try to explain it to others but they only give the usual responses of "it was a dream" or "maybe go to a doctor, could be a seizure". None of the urgency I feel for days afterward to experience it again seems to translate. I wish I could understand it someday.

>> No.14407167

>>14402703
I'm starting to realize that I don't want most of the things I've read to become serious influences and philosophy isn't actually as great of an interest to me. I feel happier as a boring secular person with no interests and a quiet life alone with my own thoughts. I think I just need to feel special and lose some weight and I'll be good for the rest of my time until I die and discover the mysteries of eternity.

>> No.14407195

>>14407140
Yeah that meme is meant for the late bloomers, not your early start tuckered out by 30 ass.

>> No.14407208

I just want to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.

>> No.14407602
File: 1.47 MB, 1944x2592, IMG_20190710_202758.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14407602

>>14402703
Do you like my art /lit/? It'll be the only thing left of me when I'm gone, the only evidence I ever existed :)

>> No.14407618

>>14402703
What are career paths that would let me work 9 months out of the year and take winters off?

I have this reoccurring fantasy to live in a cabin in Alaska over the winter. I want to ration my food and have no access to internet. I would spend my time creating things (finally get good at electronics and programming, read some math books, paint and make art) and by the time I emerged I would either be actualized or I would give into my demons.

>> No.14407621

>>14403116
Aren't they a bunch of a traitors and secret allies of the Jews?

>> No.14407735

You could have at least pretended to like your presents you cunts.

>> No.14407802

>>14407195
Just poke a hole in your condom or replace her pills if she's on birth control. You'll kill two birds with one stone by having kids and sabotaging her career to be a mother. Sure she can go back to work eventually but she'll be out for at least a few years,especially if you successfully demoralize/gaslight her about her career prospects as a mother :)

>> No.14407811
File: 69 KB, 500x500, 8E4556A3-C70D-4627-AF97-62F8BDF8B640.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14407811

>>14402703
I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know how I connected with anyone and met her when I grew up in a whirlwind of abuse. I don’t know why she loves me so and accepts me for who I am, when I was forced to take drugs at a young age and it fucked my whole life up. I don’t know how I met this human being with a beautiful heart when I survived brain damage so severe from those prescriptions sprinkled into my food. I don’t know how she’s in my life when long ago everyone said I would die. I should be dead, but tomorrow I’m spending Christmas with a girl who means the world to me. This may be the first healthy relationship that I’ve ever encountered, and it’s scary, but wonderful.

I’m to arrive at her cozy little appartment at 8pm, and from there she’s declared that we’ll watch all her favorite Christmas movies, and that she’ll be baking something. She has roommates who are kind and welcome me in, one of whom has gone all out, scavenging thrift shops from around the area to decorate the place. There’s a beautiful tree, adorned in ornaments above, and gifts below, and a big cozy couch in the middle of this tiny Boston apartment wearing a crown of sparkling lights which cast a dim and comforting tone over the entire place. When I was growing up, we never had any of that. The light was fluorescent and sharp and it hurt my eyes, because I was always in the hospital.

I know her well enough at this point, that once everyone’s in bed we’ll stay on the couch and as soon as her roommates are gone she’ll tackle me and hold me close, kissing my face and pressing herself into me. And then we’ll talk like we always do, and learn more about each other until the sun comes up. And with each passing minute I’ll be a little less afraid, that the people who made me that way will become more wrong, and I will know that I am not too damaged to be loved. With each passing minute on Christmas Eve, I’ll know her better, and she’ll know me. She has her demons too, but she’s just so kind and I understand where she comes from. I want to return her love and acceptance of me tenfold. When I am with her, I finally feel at ease. I glow, and I melt.

I don’t care if I sound like a faggot, because I’ve found her. After so long in the desert by myself, I’ve finally found her and I love her, this person who I always knew was out there, who I have known my entire life and have been waiting to meet up with. I love her so much, with all my heart, and I want to make her happy. I will make her happy. Merry Christmas anons, in this time of cold may you all find your own angels this year.

>> No.14407813

>>14407167
Hey, that's probably healthier than the rest of us who waste our lives striving for meaning while living in mediocrity. Maybe only great men are supposed to search for meaning, while the rest of us are to accept our station.

>> No.14407833

>>14407811
How do you like Boston? I want to move to the east coast but I don't know how I can afford it (Idaho fag BTW)

>> No.14407840

>>14407602
Not bad!

>> No.14407846

Kill yourself and find out retard.

>> No.14407856

>>14407846
>Forgets to tag the post they're replying to.
Better luck next time retard

>> No.14407858

>>14402712
>>14402703
You're both wrong. Ontology deals with the condition of being and what it means to exist. That's what you idiots are trying to say.

>> No.14407861

>>14402703
You mean shitting on the sitter?

>> No.14407865

>>14407813
How do you think those men became great? By overcoming their limitations

>> No.14407870

>>14407840
Ya it is that green looks like shit compared to the rest of the painting, and the pencil marks/brush strokes make it look unfinished

>> No.14407888

>>14402703
The last few days I had some very strange dreams:
1: I haven't had contact with my sister in years. In this dream I had two other little sisters, one blind and one almost completely deaf. My mother irl has gone to menopause, so I don't know how the fuck they came to exist as both 4 years old. I had to carry them through some kind of wasteland with literally nothing around other than some hills and scorched bushes. They didn't say a word. Slowly, grass started appearing on the ground, and they started talking. Some really basic kid stuff, like "I love mommy" "when are we gonna get home" "you wear funny clothes" something among those lines. Later we even saw live trees and then they started talking the child things you don't want them to talk about "where do we go when we die" "why are plants alive but stones not" "what is time really" "does god exist" I think I treid to answer, but I don't remember what I said to them. Just really basic answers, to try to not have to talk so that I can focus on walking. Eventually we got on a hill, and eventually we got on top of the hill, where I stopped for a moment to take in the view, as there was a cliff before us, and a new area, but one more forest-like than the previous wasteland. Around me there were also many trees and ponds. As I looked to the sun for no reason, they started saying even deeper stuff. They quoted my interpretations of the latest philosophers I have read, or even my thoughts, that I like to call philosophical. Eventually the blind one started talking to me, something along the lines of: "If you view arthropods as inferior to you, why should we do so any different? Do you value the life of that which you do not even consider alive? Open up your shell and see the oceans of your ancestors which are not organic. And the mountains and the molten rock in the heart of your planet. So why caress your coal body? Let go of your body and die an eternal death. Your soul will return to subconscious unity. And if all of your souls are added up, it will result in a mind as great as ours. And you will koin creation. But what you call "you" will be left behind. Forever. Your personification as a mind is nothing but your body. So leave it behind and die forever. Your soul is something that is there in ever piece of dust you tread upon in these lands. Something you understand but an aspect of.
Do it for the greater good, anon" Whatever the children said was all in Hungarian, my mother toungue. I did my best to recall and translate it.

Dream 2: I am again in highschool, which was one of my darkest years in life. It felt like I did something wrong. When I entered in the morning every single child I remember from those years shouted "ANON! hahhaha" and then started laughing maniacally. I thought it was probably a prank or they wanted to be mean.

cont.

>> No.14407909

>>14407888
cont.

For some reason in this dream I started to think like my highschool self, which was really retarded, even more so than most autists on this website. It didn't take me long to realize that someone has been spreading posters of just a picture of me, or some awkward picture that made it look like I'm doing a gay pose with a friend. I was just guessing that in the dream world, I never did that, and that it just a perfect shot that made the layers look like that.
At first even I thought it was funny, but when I saw it every-fucking-where I started to get enough of it. In one of the classes, I called out the teacher, who had replaced all of her posters (yes that was a faggot thing that teachers did in my highschool) with the posters discussed previously. The teacher however said she did them on purpose and that they were funny and I should laugh at them. In the breaktime all my 'friends' had already backstabbed me so I decided to go to the vice-director instead. Now the vice-director is like the fucking /pol/ jew meme. That's literally what he looked like except bald. I recall him as a bad person who makes himself believe he is doing everything in the name of 'justice' yet fails to give a consistent definition. Some might even call him evil. Now I think the conversation was really lengthy but I don't recall much of it so I am just going to say that he said that basically he did it because children need entertainment. I think I got mad at him and tried to slap him but then he expelled me. So glad this didn't happen irl.

cont.

>> No.14407916

I feel like writing a diary lets me to blow out some inner pressure.

>> No.14407945

>>14407909
cont.

Dream 3: In this dream there was a constant switch between present me and highschool me, my wife was there but my mother from 10 years ago was also there. My children were there but my sister from 10 years ago was also there. Anyway, these people just decided that we should all go 'jump off a tower'. I originally thought they were referring to suicide but then it turned out there is some place where there are small towers inside of a large building that you can jump off with a helmet and ice-skates.
So when we were there, all of my highschool 'friends' were also there. I think that because of my previous dream I started to think more about those years than I usually do. I watched as all of them put on the helmet and iceskates and as they jumped into the abyss. I decided that I was going to look for the place they got out and quickly found it. "You should really try it anon, it's great" I just wanted to know what it was like. After that, for some reason, I couldn't find my way back to the tower that I could jump from. I eventually got into a room where the passive-agressive boyfriend from the "my wife's boyfriend got me a nintendo switch" meme was literally there and also some retarded younger brother of his. Constantly the older made remarks to me such as "how does it feel to be autistic, anon?" "do you even read books or just waltz through them with your eye". It was really pissing me off and neither of them helped me finding the towers wich I quite unrealistically lost. Backtracking didn't work. Slowly it felt like the whole place turned into a vidya style castle with obstacles and shit. There were voices in the sky telling me antisemitic redpills. Then the whole thing was over.

You guys are not /x/ I do not expect you to give occultist meanings to my dreams. Just please, help me decipher them and put them into serious thoughts that I can use. Dreams are certainly not useless. I 'haven't had' them in years but now this suddenly started.

>> No.14407968
File: 26 KB, 300x292, Csikszentmihalyi flow model.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14407968

>>14402703
apathy is a path to flow.

>> No.14408054

>>14407909
The problem with losing yourself to infinity is that it must get boring being Nothing, which is why it creates Something in the first place. While we're here, we may as well see what that Something leads to.

>> No.14408087

>>14407945
The first is some sort of transcendent dream. See my other comment on my thoughts on becoming Nothing (Nothing will inevitably turn into Something, so I think we may as well be Something for now.)

Your second dream relates to that part of you that you maybe disliked during high school. You were in an oppressive environment, and you maybe carry some psychological trauma from that time. Perhaps there has been a change in your environment (a new relationship that models one from that period) that brought up this dream. Perhaps you are ready to integrate that part of you into the whole.

The third dream seems to be the integration of your high school self and your current self. You were successfully able to obtain a wife and have children, and yet there is that part of you who still feels like that trapped boy in high school. You seem intelligent (you have a good grasp of English) and perhaps that played a role in your isolation.

I'm taking a wild guess, but the three dreams in tandem represent integration. You are faced with a choice: to dissolve the Self you've built up back into the subconscious (the Sisters) or to integrate the part of you that was oppressed and hated. I would have to know more about you to give a more accurate reading, assuming I'm even on the right track.

>> No.14408101

>>14408087
I don't know your dream but to me the sisters seem sort of Faustian. They offer total knowledge through giving up your soul to the subconscious. And yet the Sisters both lack something, one being blind and one being death. Maybe they aren't able to experience the whole picture.

>> No.14408118

I am trapped inside myself and there is nothing in here

>> No.14408139

>>14408101
The last part of your dream (the towers, the boyfriend, and the redpills) relate to the zeitgeist of the day. This may in part be a catalyst for your dreams (your isolation has made you more susceptible to 4chan culture, as it has for many of us). The current zeitgeist definitely has an irreverent and satirical feel to it. I personally don't see any storm clouds across the valley, but maybe over the mountains...

>> No.14408144

>>14408118
Does it echo?

>> No.14408172

>>14402703
It really pisses me off when people don't complement me for my posts. I know it's totally unreasonable but I will obsessively refresh the page like an addict looking for my next hit. I get ten times more satisfaction on here when someone says 'based' than any idiotic reply or amount of stupid points I could get on Reddit. That's because Reddit is so easy to manipulate I could write a bot that could get 100k karma by shitting out overused jokes and opinions. Here I actually have to put in some thought to it (see how I made you feel special?)

>> No.14408173

>>14408087
>>14408101
>>14408139
Thank you all, this has been helpful.
I would however like to point out that there was still something about the third dream that continued to bother me while being awake and was also the reason I made these posts. You see, throughout the entire dream, I built up a frustrated feeling of wanting to go back to the tower to jump off, and I would want to know what that exactly says about me.
Also, really intersting what >>14408101
said. I didn't read Faust so I don't know how much taht dream relates to the story. And yes I think that was also interesting that they lack a complete picture of reality yet know more. Or maybe they experience reality differently which either makes them more bigoted (seeing me as I see an arthropod) or more enlightened (seeing more of reality than I want to). Maybe their lack of of that one sense (either seeing or hearing) is also why materialism is less tangible for them but the opposite is true for spiritualism. In other words, they are less distracted by sound, and the other one by sight, and they have more time to develop their 'third eye' which is what I, someone who can hear and see, and only thinks philosophically when I have time, or when I dream, don't want to hear, see, or in any other way observe.

>> No.14408191

>>14408172
I know what you mean. But personally I want to have meaningful answers. I come one here to tell about the books I read, working out methods I use, in this case, my dreams. I always hope to get a reply. And when I post memes then yes it definitely feels better to be called 'based' by a ranbdom autist than to get a completely meaningless orange arrow from a liberal atheist.

>> No.14408218

>>14407968
Seems like impossible task.

>> No.14408425

>>14408172
>>14408191
>transplant tourists
please fuck off back there and don't come back

>> No.14408845
File: 68 KB, 720x544, 1577191570645.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14408845

>>14402703
based tsartime photographer OP pic

who else into calligraphy? i forgot how good dip pens are

>> No.14408858
File: 95 KB, 889x1126, 1569782265449.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14408858

>>14406481
based

>> No.14408863

>>14407858
No that is not what I'm trying to say. Reread my post and if you still don't get it then just give up.

>> No.14408944
File: 45 KB, 720x544, 1577192378835.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14408944

>>14408845
another one

>> No.14408984

>>14408172
*compliment

>> No.14409009

>>14407833
I’ve been here my entire life so I may have slightly skewed viewpoint but it’s alright I guess. Dark and cold half they year and quite expensive, but New England is an interesting place historically and the outdoor space is nice. Boston is pretty boring imo.

>> No.14409265

>>14408425
No, I don't think I will

>> No.14409276
File: 88 KB, 750x1000, poster,840x830,f8f8f8-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14409276

>>14408984
FUUUCK MISPELLING WORDS ON A LITERATURE BOARD IS THE OPPOSITE OF BASED

>> No.14409280
File: 98 KB, 694x808, 1521842402809.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14409280

>>14409265
You're literally a muslim sandnigger invading Europe because it's better than your shithole. Here's the thing: it's not a complete shithole only because YOU weren't present. Now you come to an established culture and destroy the very thing you want to obtain with your very presence. You fucking idiot. Go away.

>> No.14409360

>>14408173
Ya I'm not too sure of the significance of the shower. Something to do with the zeitgeist of the day (seeing how many people you know we're doing it). The tower doesn't sound deadly by what you describe, so it's not a 'call of the void' sort of thing, at least to me

>> No.14409368

>>14409360
*Tower

>> No.14409378

>>14409280
I felt like this board could use some progressive ideas. Do you feel the Bern anon? :^)

>> No.14409385

>>14409378
Sent from iPhone

>> No.14409394

it doesnt feel like christmas. the tree is in the corner bare except for a half short-circuited string of lights and one ornament I watched my special needs sister embellish upon it alone. everyone else seems either too tired or too busy tending to their little isolated worlds to do more than buy a tree and buy presents. and if that is our legacy, I say so be it. im going to sit my sister down and help her finish the job she started, as futile of a job it may be. honor your family bros and merry christmas

>> No.14409399

>>14409394
That's really sweet, anon.

>> No.14409453

>>14409360
Maybe it has something to do with fitting in and feeling like you're not able to because of your past (the bullies refusing to give you direction)? It's interesting how what are essentially 4chan memes are so present in that dream. Maybe 4chan, especially /pol/ is partly the cause of your isolation. This place is largely a cesspool. I come here because I'm lonely, but I don't know that it's been good for my mental health. That's my guess at least.

>> No.14409455

>>14409394
You’re a good brother anon.

>> No.14409533
File: 302 KB, 1280x1707, demonic_santa_by_wildwolfhipster_dcu4gsl-fullview.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14409533

>>14409394
>honor the demonic pagan holiday twisted into "christian" holiday twisted into consumerist holiday
Fuck christmas and everything it stands for.

>> No.14409541

>>14409533
It's just an excuse to have familial bonding you autist

>> No.14409550

>>14409541
>dude don't think about it just turn off your brain enjoy yourself lmao!
Enjoy worshipping literal demons, you blithe and blind retard.

>> No.14409585

>>14409550
Thanks Varg

>> No.14409590
File: 113 KB, 1200x722, 1576993218181.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14409590

Link me to your blogs, I want to read all about my friends on this website.

>> No.14409796

what's the fucking deal with people loudly snorting in public, surrounded by other people?

how did it become completely normal to no-holds-barred snort your entire sinuses and nostrils full of mucous down into your throat in a giant SNNRGGGHGHGHHHHH sound and then swallow it? let alone hork like you're a 7 year old doing an exaggerated "look at me, i'm horking and i'm about to spit" gesture and spitting into the middle of the fucking sidewalk

how have we regressed to this level? am i really abnormal for finding this weird? what about chewing with your mouth open, how is it that even the rich and well-heeled american upper middle class people i know all happily talk with their mouths full of fucking food, talk while chewing, sit right next to you in a quiet library and eat with their mouth open like they're some kind of farm animal flapping its gums? what the holy fuck is going on?

i told my friend about it and he said "i've NEVER had a problem with that. you're just autistic. it's normal for people to eat with their mouths open."

>> No.14409879

>>14409796
>the virgin nose blow
>the chad booger absorb

>> No.14409908

>>14402721
Not anon but I just saw A Marriage Story which was a fantastic antidote to the abortion that was episode 9. Adam Driver is an incredible actor.

>> No.14410014

>>14403184
Who are you?

>> No.14410033

>>14402703
>The first, original branch in philosophical thinking concerns the fundamental question of life
I guess you do more thinking on the shitter than studying philosophy.

>> No.14410083

>>14409796
It isn't normal for people to eat with their mouth open. I don't know if we are in the same country but wherever you are has some interesting characters.

>> No.14410105

>>14407107
Thank you meatwad.

>> No.14410650

>>14409590
no you dont.

>> No.14410969
File: 295 KB, 521x747, 5C60E2F8-2D0D-4D79-BB3C-8A5AB56AF62C.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14410969

I can't stop thinking about cute girls

>> No.14410998
File: 386 KB, 645x729, C31E8491-8AF8-4E7F-9C67-25F56B38E074.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14410998

It's becoming quiet the problem. I'm girlbrained.

>> No.14411076

>>14410969
>>14410998
>cute

>> No.14411263
File: 487 KB, 750x746, 247934C6-8E09-4D50-A10A-A474771D4BFC.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14411263

>>14411076
I recognize the nature of attraction is subjective

>> No.14411303

>>14409590
You glow

>> No.14411338

>>14402729
you should see a doctor
you have agoraphobia

>> No.14411403

>>14410969
>>14410998
I threw up in my mouth a little anon get better taste please.

>> No.14411528

>>14410014
Your future boyfriend.

>> No.14412321

>>14404400
get fillers

>> No.14412348

>>14407802
she's gonna abort

>> No.14412357

>>14407602
It's nice anon. Got more?

>> No.14412476

Another Christmas Eve with extended family who are essentially strangers to me. Once my father is gone, I won’t bother coming. No one has the patience to deal with me. Most just ignore me.

>> No.14412519

>>14408845
>>14408944
I'm left handed and flourishes are so hard

>> No.14412866

a youngling departs
life felt confining to him
but not knowing where, or what, those confines were, he decided to go exploring for them in all the ways he could think of
so depart he did
and he came back
and told of what he discovered
"Friends, there are glass walls in the sky and the earth, and surrounding us on all sides"
"I have broken a pane in an attempt to look past - the sensation of breathing outside air was strange; satisfying but much more terrifying, invigorating but much more desperating"
"Here is that glass pane, I have taken it with me, and gladly will I show you the path to its hole"
"But not now"
"Now is the time to tell others"
and so the youngling continued to tell all he knew of the see-through glass walls all around them
-
"did you hear?"
"hear hear - what?"
"about the young man recently that keeps going on about the glass house he never leaves"
"my, why would you want to live your life in a glass house?"
"who knows? i suppose some people need to feel walls around them lest they feel lost at sea"
"quite true, it can be difficult to leave your comfort zones - sometimes i struggle myself"
"agreed"
"so where is that glass house of his?"
"i dont know"

>> No.14413351

I've got some serious white castle slider farts that could clear a room.

>> No.14413731
File: 32 KB, 720x310, 1577257795620.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14413731

> you type your replies in handwritten gothic?

>> No.14413755

>>14409280
And you are obviously a braindead polfaggot who unfortunately has to ruin everything you migrate into and should kill yourself today to give your family a Christmas miracle

>> No.14413841

I DESCEND ASCENDED

>> No.14413850
File: 1.22 MB, 1944x2592, IMG_20190710_202735.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14413850

>>14412357
Here's another bird. It's been awhile since I last painted, I need to get back into it

>> No.14413895

Merry Christmas, anons.

>> No.14413974

when I draw I feel most unhinged from phenomena. my inability to represent the appearance of the world, or the spirit within that appearance is unsettling because my mind appears to constantly absorb something that it can’t reproduce, yet I’m never aware of that detail present infinitely within each existing thing. i remember being a teenager, thinking this thought, and feeling an ecstasy about the detail and mutability of each finite object in creation, a joy that was almost a high to see that there was no line between objects but only shadows. the joy was for finally seeing what I’d always overlooked. now when I have the same thought I only feel dread. there is so much that I am always missing. so many shadows that live and die without me, so many objects that exist only as lines to me. and even if I was able to constantly perceive more fully, I could never reproduce it by my own hand. I am a brief line in the eyes of god.

>> No.14414082

>>14413755
fuck off to reddit you waste of life

>> No.14414145

I cant even make christmas brownies without fucking them up.

>> No.14414160

>>14414082
Nice argument.

>> No.14414224
File: 2.22 MB, 768x432, 1399487307171.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14414224

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgcV78LJryA

The anime: "Zegapain" reminds me of the "Gameboy Advance" game: "Megaman Battle Network 3", and the televised animated series: "Code Lyoko" - all three share the same enthusiastic Spirit of cyber adventure, and lofty communion, facilitated by digital plenitude, which were characteristic of the sunny days of the first half of the first decade of the twentyfirst century —at the turn of the Millennium— when technological optimization, and unification, accompanied, and propelled, the already reigning excitement for soulful emergence, and the common eagerness for subtle/elevated exploration.

Those kids who were born amidst this plenitude, from year nineteen hundred ninetyfour, to year nineteen hundred ninetyseven —who had/have sociocultural awareness—, during their critical years of inspiration, and development had to witness this optimism recede before their youthful eyes, since, due to an underlying ignoble worldorder, the fertile notion of universal technological mediation almost immediately became perverted, and then it imploded on itself, gradually becoming the reality of globalistic transhuman hybridization that it is popularized as today.

Those days have nowhere to go anymore —they can only remain in memory, inspiring vision of the future.

>> No.14414902

bump

>> No.14415167

It’s interesting to me how ever since “incels” started to break into the mainstream the degree to which normies have come to agree with their narrative. Instead of rejecting it and insisting the problem with incels is their lack of confidence (just ask her out bro) they instead agree with the incels self assessment (though unwittingly, as normies often do). This is an exchange I saw recently:
>incel: I cannot get dates because I am ugly and have an introverted personality
>normie (often woman): haha look at that INCEL, bet the real reason he can’t get a date is because he’s an awkward loser who doesn’t go to the gym
These are the same this, even if the incel is blaming his jaw line or height and the normie his lack of defined triceps. Interesting how quick “you deserve love too bro, you just gotta keep trying and find someone who likes you for who you are” has morphed into complete scorn for the “loser incels” who have NO right to expect love. Why did this shift occur?

>> No.14415180

>>14415167
its not actually that they are weak or ugly, but lack of self confidence which they are exploiting

>> No.14415226

>>14415167
The controversial thing the incels say is not that ugly awkward men can't get pussy. Everybody knows that. The controversial thing is that they say that all the 5-9 girls give up their pussy on sight for the most attractive guys but make the men at their level work for it. They tell men that their wives were way more attracted to some guy they fucked in a bathroom who ghosted them than they are to their husbands, and that they would probably cheat with those men.

It's this 'beta bucks alpha fucks' concept that has gotten incels in such trouble. They're not just calling women too shallow to sleep with ugly men, they're casting aspersions on basically the entire dating scene in a very ugly way.

>> No.14415227

>>14415167
its just bullying.

>> No.14415257

Bullet journals are gay af . How did this shit get so popular? I just write on paper, scan it, shred it, and upload the document to evernote. That way I get the calm, analog clarity of handwriting, and the organization from using software.

>> No.14415307

>>14415167
Society is not unreasonably cruel. A defensive mechanism within you made you choose to see it so.

>> No.14415313

>>14415257
>"That way I get the calm, analog clarity of handwriting"
>puritanism fags see nothing wrong with saying this

>> No.14415421

>>14415313
What's wrong with handwriting?

>> No.14415629
File: 18 KB, 633x758, 1577298796910.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14415629

Fucking bitch sisters ruined Christmas. Last minute change of plans so they won't arrive till dinner. because they didn't show up this morning everyone knows who their secret Santa is now. Fucking whores both of them. Worst part is I'm her bfs secret Santa and I got him an awesome gift and I just want to take it back and go home. Fuuck everyone !!

>> No.14416686

>>14402718
>anime
dilate

>> No.14416751

>>14402703
Mastery of natural language is not proof of sentience.

>> No.14416778

>>14402703
The mind isn't real and neither is being alive
You are as alive as a rock or computer
Nothing metaphysical exists

>> No.14417513

>>14402703
I realized I find sexuality demeaning and now I don't know what to do. I should probably talk it over with a therapist, but I really don't know if that would go over well. I'm certainly going to remain celibate as usual but maybe with a bit more self-esteem. It really hurt me in my teens and now as an adult I'm looking back and realizing that my mental problems came at times when I was seeking out relationships. It all seems so backwards to me, but I guess it's how I am. Ah well.

>> No.14417544

>>14417513
I'm pretty sure infatuation disturbed me deeply and I don't really think I enjoyed the company of those people I was infatuated with at all. I'm thinking back to all of the trouble I avoided and the eventual misunderstandings I averted. It's less like things just didn't work out for me and more like I avoided what would be psychologically fatal to me. It's just not in my nature. I want to be alone, and I'm better for it.

>> No.14417556

>>14417544
It probably goes back to my childhood and lacking a solid relationship to model myself after and had conflicts with my parents. I believed I had more freedom than I did, and it hurt me, considering I don't have the same life to model myself after. I saw a miscarriage, too, so maybe I'm disenchanted with the results of reproduction, and I have a bunch of stuff I don't want to pass on either.

>> No.14417641

>>14416778
That’s not really in the holiday spirit anon, come on!

>> No.14417647
File: 22 KB, 500x300, 0BB9DD45-937A-4F2D-8D4E-DB86AD28AD4D.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14417647

>>14416751
Thank u QuiGon

>> No.14417734

>>14407107
>intensive purposes

>> No.14418235

I fucked a girl a few weeks ago who identifies as non-binary after a couple months of her essentially throwing herself at me. She told her boyfriend about it. It's so strange- I hadn't had sex in over a year so I succumbed to a momentary physical desire. Hope I didn't make too big a mistake.

A girl I hooked up with over 5 yrs ago dm'ed me on twitter. Through the years we've "liked" things back and forth and I always got a nice little thrill thinking that perhaps she also remembered our night together fondly. Then it's quickly followed by a sadness that nothing more came of it and also that our momentary encounter may be the closest thing I've ever felt to love. But she dm'ed me. Surely this must mean something

>> No.14418283

>>14418235
This post exemplifies how the internet and its consequences are a complete disaster for the human race.

>> No.14418419
File: 221 KB, 2880x2778, dannyboy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14418419

I'm sick
I'm very sick
I don't know what she thinks of me now, I dont know if she really left me or just is really busy
I'm needy
I'm pathetic
She knows this
She said she had a faith In me that I I'm a bright and good person with a good future and she loves and emotionally invested In me because of it
I love her and I wish I could be the best "anything"she wants from me, the best friend, the best person she used to know or whatever
I think I've ruined myself for her so many times that she doesn't have that rosy picture of me anymore but I'm gonna work and work till I make it into what she thought I could become
You're one of the only people in my life that I love kompis and I wont let you down

>> No.14418491

I am obsessed with the idea of the wise Chinese master who speaks in Buddhist quotes and I have no idea why. I have this intense desire to live and act like that that I cannot quench

>> No.14418614

Abstaining from cooming and porn just makes me more autistic reeee

>> No.14418698
File: 61 KB, 873x239, vampire story.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14418698

What happened to this guy? I need to know.

>> No.14418747

Any advice for someone who is gonna be spending the next year largely in social isolation so he can better himself?

>> No.14419019

>>14418747
>social isolation
>better himself
How does that work?

>> No.14419139

Ever notice how people are desensitised to being demeaned and mocked? I go to college... the word "honour" is now sneered at and "pride" is alternately a sin or code for open homosexuality. College initiations are no longer shows of strength or daring, but letting a fat black chick smear nutella on your face and kick you in the balls. Then you get a mandatory lecture on rape prevention and transexuals. The boys laugh at these ritual humiliations and are convinced they are having a "good time". There are crossdressing parties, you are called "insecure" for refusing to be a transvestite. If you respond to an insult with agression, you will not only be ostracised but in all likelihood expelled
the new college man is saturated in moral sodomy

>> No.14419153

>>14419139
>Ever notice how people are desensitised to being demeaned and mocked?
That's called being 'based'.

>> No.14419164
File: 7 KB, 225x225, E4E8F8DD-0B5E-449B-A46C-56B11FDDD914.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14419164

>>14419153
haha kick me in the balls again laquisha, I love wearing this dress we’re so silly haha

>> No.14419172

>>14419164
If that's what you're into.

>> No.14419234

>>14419019

Simple, I won't be around mediocre people.

>> No.14419667

>>14407858
Being is when the duality of the will - towards to or away from - collapses into a motionless singularity.

>> No.14419836

>>14419164
What fucking university do you go to anon?

>> No.14419912

Should I hire an escort to lose my virginity? It feels like cheating to do it but it feels like I'll be able to finally up my game since I'll know what pussy feels like. What do you lads think

>> No.14419940

How much of depression is choice and how much is it just being depressed? I'm in a tight spot financially because for about two months I had trouble even getting out of bed. Of course I continue to bury myself deeper in the hole.

>> No.14419945

>>14418419
She doesn't care about me and she shouldn't because I'm a failure nobody and not even that I'm a "toxic" person who will subconsciously bring her down and even if not that, I dont have anything to add to her life anymore, she "used" me for attention when her bf wasn't around, Im not even mad, just too lonely now but I'm just.....writing what's on my mind

>> No.14419948

Does the job market seem a bit shit where everyone else is at? I've been applying to places for the past month and a half and still haven't heard anything

>> No.14419950

>>14419948
The product creates the market not the other way around

>> No.14419952

>>14419945
I'm sorry, anon

>> No.14419956

>>14419950
Then I'm fucked!

>> No.14419964

>>14419940
It's mostly self made but people cant accept that, in the end no matter what meds you take or whatever therapy you go through you have to deal with the fact that YOU and ONLY YOU have to do the shit that's to be done and it all boils down to your will and discipline, meds and therapy are useful but dont believe they're anything more than witch medicine

>> No.14419966

>>14419912
Nvm I just nutted, it's too expensive

>> No.14419994

Ever since I started working in a library and being around thousands of books for hours and hours every single day I've noticed how much of what people read is CRAP. I know that if I applied myself I could write something just as good, if not better.
I simply lack any ideas I want to write about. I do know I want to write a picaresque though, there's simply too few of them in the world. But maybe someone else should do it instead so I can focus on idle frivolities.
>>14407602
>>14413850
Your paintings are alright, mate.

>> No.14419996

>>14419994
How do you get started working at a library?

>> No.14420007

>>14419996
1. Go to school for it
2. Have relatives who can get you internships and substitutions
3. Have high resistance to cold germs because those little shits in the kid section are always sick and they get their offal all over the books like goddamn bitches keep your spawn out if they're sick just stay at home what the hell are you thinking

>> No.14420045

>>14420007
Man I had no idea you had to go for school to put books on a shelf. Is there really nothing left to do anymore without a degree?

>> No.14420056

>>14420045
Yeah, they won't hire you unless you have a specific degree for it even if your sister runs the damn place. There's literally no jobs you can do anymore without a degree except telemarketing.

>> No.14420078

>>14402703
Philosophy's interesting and I really want to drop everything and focus all my studies on it when I hear/read of it, logically it makes sense to make this my passion. But when I drive by the sunset and see the oranges fading, when I see nature in its existing state-its perfect state, when I've been humiliated, target of torture, cowardice, pain; I just fail to keep to this focus in philosophy, instead I write to show the world's natural impurities or beauty.

Regardless I write and read both philosophy/non-fiction and fiction the latter more then the former but i'm satisfied with the balance.

>> No.14420085

>>14420056
Everything seems to converge on NEETdom then.

>> No.14420089

>>14420085
Indeed. Society simply doesn't need everyone to participate anymore.

>> No.14420194

>>14410969
>>14410998
>>14411263

How do you think they come?

>> No.14420217

>>14420194
Choking, slapping, verbal degradation, anal, being peed and spat on, take your pick.

>> No.14420275

How do you know what you want from life?

>> No.14420331
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14420331

>>14402703
in my mind right now?
a question: Why do we come to this board?

>> No.14420356

>>14402703
I keep fucking beating my dick to the most twisted fucking shit and i just want to fucking stop but cant and its fucking killing me

>> No.14420371

>>14420356
I went on a 4 day amphetamine binge over christmas and fapped a cumulative 26 hours and the degeneracy I feel now because this shit keeps happening to me makes me question suicide again.

>> No.14420372
File: 22 KB, 419x381, Habu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14420372

>>14420356
Embrace it. Reach enlightenment by breaking all taboos. Shemales domming guys in S&M is what I'm into right now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

>> No.14420377

>>14420372
>Shemales domming guys in S&M is what I'm into right now.
i was there

>> No.14420387

>>14420377
Where you at now?

>> No.14420528

>>14420387
Probably looking at cp like the coombrain he is

>> No.14420555

>>14420528
Hey now, if you read Lolita you'd know that the children are to blame.

>> No.14420586

I don’t think I’ve ever felt relaxed in my life. My trapezius is always hypertensed because my sympathetic nervous system is chronically active. It hurts. I seriously question whether I have autonomous control over my own body. My arms especially seem to me to act independently of and even contrary to my will and to each other. Most of the day I lie in bed, writhing and contorting in an effort to lesson my pain. It feels like the Gordian knot is located in my back and one day I might twist just the right way and “pop!” my spine is in perfect alignment and I feel relief for once. I think I’m actually doing yoga organically. One time I was a 14 year old boy at summer camp. The boys in my cabin met a girls cabin and we all hung out by the lake. One day the girls wanted us to give them back rubs. I pressed on her spine and applied pressure to her scalpulas. She asked “what the fuck is wrong with me I think a back rub is about bones?” I thought I was doing a good job and I was humiliated. These are the events that tied my Gordian knot. I try to remember Dr. Strangelove is a comedy.

>> No.14420609

>>14420586
I have similar issues, I try to just work out my muscles every day so they're too tired to clench like that. The bridge is especially good for this.

>> No.14421050

>>14420372
I will not embrace a the sick perversion of extinction porn.

>> No.14421426

>>14419139
When I went to University, there was a certain amount of demeaning activity in the form of hazing for men on sports teams, in ROTC, or in Fraternities. It was stupid, but it wasn’t really humiliating for the most part unless you did something humiliating on your own accord. That’s changed a lot. Those groups no longer get away with anything and I’ve seen more humiliating forms of what the school wouldn’t consider, but what I would consider hazing in other groups. I feel bad for the zoomer males going through the University system right now because it really is a sort of self hating indoctrination program and letting off even a whiff of “right wing” politics could effectively cause you to be expelled or failed out.

>> No.14421647
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14421647

Anarchism is retarded and fuck you.

>> No.14421797
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14421797

Still resent my parents for making me go through male puberty. All I want to do is be soft and cute and wear pretty dresses

>> No.14421814

>>14421797
all you want is attention.

>> No.14421830

I think to be able to be really sociable at parties etc I should just have a bunch of caffeine. I hate alcohol and almost never drink it but when I have too much coffee people always tell me I'm way more active and talkative (thereby implying that I'm more fun to be around). I don't want to augment or adjust my personality for those kinds of events but it does also make things easier in a lot of ways.

>> No.14421842
File: 243 KB, 680x709, aaf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14421842

>>14421814
That too

>> No.14421895

My a father is such a god damn rube. He’s constantly buying /biz/-tier meme etfs and then getting pissed when they preform poorly. I told him to just buy the S&P and showed him studies about how difficult it is to beat the market but he just shakes his head and calls me a “sheep”. Fucking retard. It bothers me because his stupidity effects my mom too, who is too meek to oppose all these schemes he keeps getting involved in.

>> No.14421965

Do you really not have voicemail? Listen, just get your friend Dougherty to stop being rude to me and go to the girl named "Sophie Madchen" and ask her to help me call Jinting Shi because I am not going to call her alone. You should really have voicemail because this should all be private info.

>> No.14421971

^
And I want Sophie or Austin specifically because she will listen to them.

>> No.14422512

I saw a picture of my ex-gf and her family celebrating Christmas. It made me sad to think that if I wanted to, I could still have been a part of that family.
Instead, we had to go our separate ways, but it bums me out, because we had so much promise.

I always told her that I wanted somebody to love her, and I was pleased that it was me for that period of time. I got to love her and care for her and be her rock for a time. However, in looking back, she was never there for me.

I just wished she could have loved me as much as I loved her.

>> No.14422518

>>14407833
Why would you want to leave Idaho for New England? I’m a New Englander and I like it, but the PNW/Northern Rockies are objectively superior.

>> No.14422683

Come on, my friend. It takes two minutes to talk to Sophie.

>> No.14422693

Nothing works to distract me from meaninglessness of life.

>> No.14422698

And get voicemail because I really do not like writing out her name but I *NEED* to speak to her once more and not alone- with people who will rationally explain everything.

>> No.14422702

Saw the first woman in my life today who I could imagine being my gf, and she was eyeing me up too.
Don't get me wrong I don't have super high standards, I just don't feel anything for most people, and being with someone I don't like is not worth the hassle.
This particular girl was super shy and soft spoken, which is my main criteria, and being fairly cute and hot was a plus. I can only think she was shy because of the situation we were in and the thought of her normal behavior in her own element makes me hate her for giving me signals.
Anyway, if she is really like this I think I could try to get past the fact she has sucked dick before, but probably not. I think it would be a stressful, neurotic relationship (at least on my part I'm sure) where I would never be fully committed. I realize this could be just lack of experience in the copings of life talking, but the more in touch with humanity I become the more I want to get away.
Nevertheless I won't make a move. Past attempts unearthed some dark truths about myself that I'm not ready to face again.
Sorry for the blogpost I just didn't find any feels thread on /tv/ and /fit/, my usual domains. Anyway what are some books about self sabotage, reluctant progress and lonely brooding with outwardly confidence?

>> No.14422788

test

>> No.14422804

I never write anything, but I felt pretty upset today, so I crapped all this shit in like 5 minutes. Just gonna throw this sack of shit here.
Ramblings of self-pity and desperate calls for attention and validation pt. 1

I'm in too deep

I'm constantly afraid of my own emotions. Of my fragile declining self-worth. I live to serve it, every breath, every step, I take it in a calculating manner, as to not annoy this tyrant that roams inside.

I'm as suspicious and prone to take offense as an obese self-concious midget that has been bullied all his life. And whenever I do feel
the situation has turned for the worse, that I'm being treated unfairly, that the other person has no legitimacy to act however way they're acting towards me, I can already begin sensing the presence of myself, observing how I react.
That's right, I tend to think that what matters isn't what's done to you, but how you react to it. I believe that's the measure of your character, wit and strength. I know that seconds, or even hours later, I'll be looking back at that moment, and I'll be judged accordingly (by him). And I can't help but agree with every tiny word in the fineprint of my sentence. It just so happens the job of a judge is to simply interpret the rules and apply them to a practical situation. They do not execute it themselves. No, he is the judge, and I'm the executioner. I'll make sure I feel pain. I'm going to please him, and also myself, by slapping and punching my entire body. I'll be applauded all the more if it's all to my head.

Of course, I don't have to spell out I'm a troubled person. I remember a time when I could feel every tiny needle, map out all the little things that troubled me. I can't anymore. I can try to solve one thing, before a landslide of new things all fall to my face. I used to scoff at depressed people, and consider them doomed. I frustrated myself immensely when I got involved with worthless, sad sods that didn't ever seen to be happy. Why is it that I now have to be one of them?

Life simply isn't what I thought it was. It's bad, and it hurts, and it never stops. I can never stop it. I'm never safe. I can't take this anymore. It's an endless struggle, and I'm sick of it. I remember how terrified I felt as a kid when I stopped believing in god, when an afterlife was a lie all along, and I couldn't live forever. Now, when I think about death, I feel happiness and relief. It's the only true rest you'll ever have. And thank god for it.

>> No.14423800

I'm now feeling like my nose might be damaged from that one time when I went to algarve with my parents: We were in the swimming pool and I decided to take a dive, going through the whole pool underwater. What I wasn't expecting was that after propelling myself off the bottom of the pool, my face would be met with raw brick.

>> No.14423841

>sorry son, I love Jesus more than I love you
Shut you goddamned whore mouth. Even if you think your imaginary friend is more more important, don't ever fucking say that

>> No.14423859

>>14422804
Hey man, I really feel you on an eerily personal level. Where are you from?
When in doubt, look for God.

>> No.14423962

>>14402703
I think I've finally processed why I found the new Ghostbusters so repulsive. It's because it treats the source material as "quirky." Now, I'm a zoomer piece of shit, but from what I understand, nobody looked at a movie like Ghostbusters and went "wow this is so random and epic haha I like it!" They went and saw it because it seemed like a cool movie. Something that really pisses me off about how people view the 80s and 90s is that we think that it's all "quirky and weird!" So, when we go back and re-imagine these titles, so many of them bomb because they don't treat the source material with any respect. They take the piss out of it and try to get some cheap laughs. Powerpuff girls was another one that did it like that, but it's a kids show and also not the same timeframe. I don't really have anything else to add that Max G's video didn't already point out, but again I notice there's a similar attitude that the source material was quirky, so we should be just as quirky!

That's why I'm interested in the new new Ghostbusters (with Paul Rudd). Ghostbusters ESPECIALLY isn't something that needs a hard reboot. The source material holds up really well visually in my opinion. Cheesy yes, but I do think it's fine. The movie is still a bit corny, but it ISN'T quirky and random. This is something new, but isn't trying to turn up some false sense of quirkiness to 11. I heard the new Jumanji movies do a good job of being respectful to the source material. Humorous? Yes...but not SO RANDUMB LOL JOKES JOKES JOKESSSSS. Just a thought I was thinking about today.

>> No.14424007

Was there a single baby boomer who was actually a good parent? Now that I think about it, I can't remember every hearing of one from people I've met. They've all been abusive narcissists to a T

>> No.14424019

>>14423962
So /tv/ won't respond? That said, thanks for the opinion. I loved the old Ghostbuster films and the saturday cartoon series.
I saw star wars today and came down with d*sney-itis
Not sure I want to watch their movies anymore

>> No.14424051

>>14424019
Not sure, they might, but I think I'd get under more scrutiny if I posted it on /tv/ and it was also just "what was on my mind." I really love a lot of the old material of those times, and I think we do it a disservice sometimes because of how far along we've come from a cinema FX perspective.

Totally on board with you and having Deeznuts-itis though. I saw the last avengers like a good goy, and honestly at this point, I'm not really hurting for anything else Disney has. I knew right away after seeing the first nuwars that what came next just wasn't going to be up to the level it could be. Rey was a meh character, and they put the more interesting character(s) on the backburner like Finn. Was really compelled by his backstory and struggles, and they canned it for the sake of DUDE JEDIS LMAO. But that's what happens when you try to capitalize on nostalgia and add nothing new to a franchise -- you get this kinda shit. Probably why /tv/ enjoys Mandalorian other than YEED memes. I was never a "NOOO YOU CAN'T MAKE A NEW MOVIE OFF OF THIS SOURCE MATERIAL IT'S SACRED" kind of guy, but my rule is that you have to do something with it without resorting to cheap gags or thrills....and that's hard to do.

>> No.14424323
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14424323

The male experience is about strength. The female experience is about tenderness. Men protect women from other men. Women nurture men when they are down. Tenderness in another reminds oneself of their strength. But tenderness in a man is only weakness, which is why he can only show it to a woman who is already reliant on him. Men harness strength through conditioning and power through action. Society is the trickle down of power along lines of family and alliance. Life will never be "fair", because the strong grow stronger and the weak remain weak. We all secretly know this but pretend otherwise in public so as to make government work in our favor or trick others into letting their guards down as we strike.

>> No.14424380

>>14424323
>But tenderness in a man is only weakness
Does it have to be?

>> No.14424408

>>14424380
Tenderness is an unwillingness toward violence and so a weakness. The world is composed of limited resources and life is a zero sum game. What use do you have for a weak man? If he is strong he can be a useful ally or subordinate. If he is weak he is only taking what could be yours and must be destroyed.

>> No.14424449

You ever think about how testosterone levels have dropped by half since the early 90s, and now we have the "coomer", and his thing is he has a bunch of symptoms of high DHT, like he's bald, and he has crappy skin, and he's capable of orgasm?
Like, if you DIDN'T get exposed to the DARPA forcefem ray, there's now a caricature that depicts you as toxic and worthless. And it's being spread by the same folks who decry the pussification of our culture. Go fig, you know? If you're capable of getting an erection, you're a creep. Wonderful. And there's no one you can talk to about this, no one who can

FUCKING
SEE
IT

And so I'm slowly going insane. Like, who the fuck gives a shit about the dumbass president, man? Who gives a fuck about elite sex pests bumping each other off? The universe hates you for being you. What does the other shit matter? Like, Houellebecq, sure, he kind of skates around it, but he doesn't see the full dimensions of the cosmic monstrosity, you know what I mean?

>> No.14424475

>>14424449
the coomer is a meme about porn addicts who do nothing but masturbate

>> No.14424512

>>14424475
Yes, like how "numale" just means whatever it "really" means, instead of what it always means as used, which is "any male who does something I don't like", or- like here- "not tithing sufficient attention to things I care about".

Man, fuck it, I was born before test levels started to drop. I'm sorry I can't be their perfect little deballed porcelain waif who can't cum or watch porn. I'm sorry I can't be their fucking glass-skinned milk-blooded loli everyone wants to protect and serve forever, but that ain't me. Through no fault of my own, I am capable of growing pubic hair and I get horny. It's far from ideal, but it's too late to fix. They only have a couple more decades of our shit to put up with, tops, before the reptilians finish forcebabying everyone for Eternal Human Sacrifice CIA Kindergarten, so you'd think they could just bite down and roll with it.

>> No.14424517

>>14424512
I bet you are a grossly skinnyfat neckbearded manlet
post your physique or I am correct by default

>> No.14424535

>>14424517
>point something out
>other fag instantly gets hostile, instantly shuts down discourse, whips out crusty-ass goon meme like he's a mujahadeen with a Soviet AK-47 and tells you to dox yourself

but it's not COORDINATED or anything lmao

>> No.14424545

>>14424512
Based schizo

>> No.14424550

>>14424535
poast physique right now you masturbating manlet

>> No.14424555

>>14424545
You know how you say that whenever there's something you don't want to engage with, but also you can't afford to let it slide? You realize everyone can see you do that, right? Like, we can go back through the board archives and just CTRL+F for you doing that.

>> No.14424576

>>14424535
post physique lmao

>> No.14424584

>>14424550
You see how you're getting angry about me pointing out the thing? You wonder if maybe getting angry about people pointing out the thing and trying to shut them down for it is kind of dumb? I mean, you're just dumping more energy into the system.

Like, this tech works because you don't have to put effort into replies, you don't have to address anything or argue, but on the other hand, the person you're trying to shut down completely controls the tone, they're providing all the information, and provided the reader can stop caring about the social proof factor- which is easy because you've overused the shit out of these tactics and enough people have said "fuck no, I won't post shit, I don't owe you shit, go die" that the obligation is minimal- they can notice not only what's being posted, but how you're reacting to it.

>> No.14424643

Also, "neckbeard" doesn't go with any of those other terms. There is no culture on the internet that believes in "neckbeards" and also believes in skinnyfat or manlets. It's like hearing someone mention a "problematic tourneyfag". You fucked up your idioms and one of them is so out of date it's probably not even current on Reddit.

If you want me to stop talking about this shit, just tell me what the fuck you're up to. I can guess, but I'd like to know if my guess is right.

>> No.14424939

>>14424512
I am a heterosexual conservative man but I have only ever watched lesbian porn and have sexual fantasies of being a subby lesbian woman. Is this from water fluoridation?

>> No.14424943

>>14424643
Post a picture of your face, I can smell the sweat and cheeto powdered grease lurking in your skinnyfat neckbeard rolls. Manlet

>> No.14424960

>>14424943
You are not good at pretending to be a 4channer. I could tell you how, exactly, you are fucking up at pretending to be a 4channer, but I think you're probably also bad at taking advice and learning things.

>> No.14425055

>>14424960
when does the narwhal bacon? If you can’t answer correctly you’re a newfriend

>> No.14425069

>>14425055
>there isn't a culture, because if there is a culture, then I am failing to blend in with it, but I can't fail at things, ergo there is not a culture
Why do this?

>> No.14425130

>>14425069
you have schizophrenia, bugman

>> No.14425182

>>14425130
You have poor reading comprehension and cannot differentiate between "word salad" and "sentences that have clauses".

>> No.14425223

>>14424960
>4channer
only a literal redditor would say "4channer"
gtfo

>> No.14425240
File: 51 KB, 607x505, Boethius.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14425240

>>14402703
>Read the Bible
>read Plato
>read Wagner's Regeneration writings specifically the first, Religion and Art(: http://users.belgacom.net/wagnerlibrary/prose/wlpr0126.htm )
>but the only English translation of Wagner's writing is very clumsy and bad, done in the 1890's, and is often interfered with negatively even more so by editors
>watch The Passion of the Christ
>convert to Catholicism
>understand the necessity of Protestantism and all of the philosophies and sciences that this searching spirit has produced now in need of a religious realisation apart from the religious image
>read Aristotle
>go to Church a few times
>look into Orthodoxy
>read the essential Gnostic and Christian mystic texts
>read various Christian literature
>read Christian Theology most especially like Augustine and Aquinas
>read On the Jews and their Lies
>look into Hinduism and Buddhism
>prepare to read Kant
>read Kant
>read Schopenhauer
>read Fichte
>read Hegel
>read Schelling
>re-watch The Passion of the Christ
>hang yourself on a Crucifix in a public square yelling "FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!!!" while the police bring you down
>are martyred forever

>> No.14425253

>>14425223
I'm using the demonym for the site because there's no name for /lit/fags.
>yes there is, it's /lit/fags
That doesn't work. There's no context. He can just say "I'm posting on /lit/ therefore I'm a /lit/fag" and you can't say "no you're not" because the fucking term does not carry the connotation of there being a culture attached to it.

Anything else you come up with will get called "reddit" too. "Il/lit/erates"? Fuck that.

>> No.14425398

>>14425253
you're a 2016 newshit
we're based /lit/izens of the Neetpublic

>> No.14425410

>>14425398
Right. I'm not going to get called Reddit for fucking "/lit/izens". Sure. Thanks.

>> No.14425429

>>14425410
you're going to get called reddit because I can smell the redditry on you. you write like a reddit soifag.

>> No.14425462

This is gonna be my year lads, just you watch! I'm 27. I'm ready to put my work out there and get my life together. Everything is gonna be great! Just have to take it one step at a time and be yourself! That's whats it all about, looking forward!

>> No.14425472

>>14425429
I'm not going to post like a Youth just because you've decided that sarcasm is beta. This tryhard GMod Bratva horseshit where you have to talk in ESL chunks so the MENA phoneposters don't get mad is for the fucking birds.

>> No.14425558

>>14425429
Unspeakably based and 4channelpilled
>>14425472
Cringe and reddit

>> No.14425593

>>14424449
You have autism, unironically.
Anon, words have no soul. No word has an absolute "core." Words aren't a fuzzy sphere somewhere in the grand eternal platonic plane of ideas. Words are just whatever you want them to be. Usually you don't want them to be something nobody agrees with, because then nobody would talk with you. "Stop saying one thing while meaning another." But that's a spectrum. It's impossible to say exactly what you mean, you can only try to approximate it better or worse. That's why books are long.

So why did I call you an autist? Because you act like somebody that thinks it's "wrong" to misuse words, when it's actually just inefficient. If you're a smart guy I suggest learning to make up for other people's inability to say what they mean by using that brain of yours and figuring it out yourself, instead of blaming *them* for making it so very hard for you to understand them. Look up principle of charity.

>> No.14425715

I'm 33 and NEET on disability. I went to college twice and failed both times cause of mental illness. I was self employed in my 20s but it felt empty. I transcended depression and suicidality at one point, but the sperg in me is immanent. All I do is go to the gym, cook, keep my flat in order, care for my plants, read philosophy and novels, play pool and browse the interwebs mindlessly. A couple times a year I binge on heroin or meth or MDMA, but it starts to feel empty too. I could live like this forever cause the state pays me to not participate in society and instead gives me total freedom. Sometimes I fuck prostitutes out of necessity and for the past half year I've been blasting and cruising steroids so I'm horny all the time and fuck more whores, but that feels the most empty of all. I am past the point of it all. A gradual descent as the void seems to consume me.

>> No.14425794

>>14425715
Doesnt look that bad. You're living much better than i do.

>> No.14425822
File: 824 KB, 1251x1775, e63890edc7af27c80a1b881e594c95ae.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14425822

I want a /lit/ friend, but most of the people I've met off of here always end up being cancerous in one way or another. It's
>they don't really read but like to pretend they do and shitpost about it
>they have insane delusions of grandeur and want you to praise their writing and thoughts
>they can't shut the fuck up about how boring/depressing their lives are use you as a shrink
>they pressure you into reading what they're reading in an autistic way
Also, everyone is under 25 which is just depressing. I don't want to talk to some fucking 19 yo about his college life and babby's first venture into literature.

>> No.14425837

>>14425822
I met a guy in elementary school who was a bookworm like me and who wanted to be a writer like I did.
Still friends 15 years later.

>> No.14425842

>>14425822
I don't think I'm cancerous and I'm oldfag....
also desperate for friends but I understand your skepticism.

>> No.14425844

>>14425794
It doesn't feel worse than the almost-normie life I had before, it always felt empty no matter what it was. I have enough money on the side to not live like total shit, and I own the flat I live in. I live in total comfort. There's no motion, it's just nothingness all around me. Nobody cares, I don't care about nobody. I want an escape from this ivory tower. I want to be hungry and struggle, but the bitterness consumed my imagination.

>> No.14425847

>>14425837
That's lucky. I have almost all of my old friends as well, but none of them are into reading or politics. They just like video games and shows and that's about it.

>> No.14425856

>>14425842
I mean, I'm not exactly skeptic, just frustrated. If you want to talk on Discord I'm Oldbook#9576

>> No.14425873

To what extent are mental problems just the result of habitual negative thoughts? I've been wondering about this recently. My life has been more or less consistently the same for the past 15 years, but only recently have I started experiencing problems that appear out of my control. Before I had these problems I think I just explained away my failures to interact with other people and didn't dwell on them. I remember being in graduate school and being sad because I had no friends. I explained this by saying to myself that I'd lost the ability to make friends somehow and that was that. I've never had a girlfriend. This I explained by just thinking of myself as unlucky. Or that maybe something would just happen one day and I would have a girlfriend, though I made no effort to get one. Recently I realized these explanations were all one big cope. A few months ago I had become obsessed with this woman and schemed in my mind about how I would approach her and that maybe we would fall in love. It all fell apart when I realized I couldn't approach her. I didn't have the social skills. I've seen how people act with each other, but in the moment I can't even ape their behavior. Since then I've dwelt on how ineffectual I am and that more likely than not, I will live and die alone. That's when the attacks of anxiety started, when I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding in my chest. That's also when periodic bouts of intense grief began. I wouldn't necessarily start crying, though occasionally I would. More often I feel the sensation of grief that lies in your face, that you feel as a heaviness, once all of your tears are exhausted. The anxiety and grief seem to come about on their own. I will wake up and they are either there or not there. I've tried experimenting to see if I could bring them on of my own accord, but I can't. It's just something that happens, as if my brain were rewired when I failed to talk to that woman and now the powerful thoughts I had at the time are in control and not me.

>> No.14425874

>>14425844
>I want to be hungry and struggle
You dont. You really dont.

>> No.14425880

>>14425873
Sounds like you need to be psychoanalyzed.

>> No.14425891

>>14425844
I'd like to stab you and take your money because you're annoying.

>> No.14425899

>>14402703
That's Camus, you fucking asshole.

>> No.14425936

>>14425874
What else is there then?
>>14425891
I'd appreciate your attempt because I'd fuck you up and that would be something that happened instead of nothing.

>> No.14425982

>>14425936
>I'd appreciate your attempt because I'd fuck you up
Delusional. I've been in plenty of knife fights, and I'm still here. I'm basically a khajit motherfucker, you'd be dead in two seconds.

>> No.14425983

Where in Europe should one live for NEETbucks? How do I get them

>> No.14425987

>>14425983
Nowhere soon enough. Even the best countries are dealing with an aging population and the technocrats are going to be kicking in austerity very soon. All these Swedes and Finns on NEETbucks are soon going to be in a world of pain. Especially since America is about to have an economic meltdown soon that's worse than '08. Get your ass ready.

>> No.14425993

>>14425983
Try one of the Nordic countries

>> No.14425997

>>14425983
>>14425987
>>14425993
Finn here, I already have to work for 6 hours a day 5 days a week to qualify for NEETbucks. If I didn't do this I'd get 247 euros a month and nothing else. Don't come here.

>> No.14426019

>>14425997
Yep. They're only going to make it harder and harder to qualify for anything in the future. One of my Finn friends is pretty high up in the government over there and I can assure you it's going to get a lot worse in the upcoming years. I hope you can all roleplay as mistresses for the betas into findom, because that'll be one of your future sources of income.

>> No.14426033

>>14426019
It sure would be nice if there were actual open jobs but no...

>> No.14426037

>>14426033
Unironically come to eastern Europe. There are so many job openings where I am that they're willing to train you just to get people working. Granted, you'd probably be earning less than your NEETbucks over there, but at least life here is much cheaper and you don't have to worry about the government suddenly leaving you to starve. I unironically know more people in poverty in places like the UK and Sweden than I know Romanians and Polacks.

>> No.14426041

>>14426037
How's the language barrier?

>> No.14426051

>>14426041
I mean, most young people in both places speak English, and they DEFINITELY speak it if you're in a tech field. A lot of international companies operate from here because the costs are cheaper, so you could probably even work for Americans but live in Poland/Romania.

>> No.14426061

>>14426037
How's Russia

>> No.14426063

>>14425982
>I've been in plenty of knife fights, and I'm still here
Puukkojunkkari?

>> No.14426075

>>14426061
Probably shit? Most Russians don't speak English and I literally just read an article the other day about how Putin is implementing a firewall to potentially cut Russia away from the rest of the world as China did. So yeah. Maybe not.

>> No.14426305

>>14425983
Germany is paradise for NEETbux. You could cash in there and live in Thailand from the money.
>>14426037
Where do I go? I have no formal training, but I'm willing to do pretty much anything if it allows me a simple life and a beautiful slav woman.

>> No.14427180

>>14426305
>Germany is paradise for NEETbux
How is easy is it to get as a non-citizen immigrant though

>> No.14427195

>>14427180
that depends on if you are a sand nigger or not

>> No.14427202

>>14427195
I'm a slav nigger.

>> No.14427248

The last Mandalorian episode was great. Now it's time to read Feudal Society by Bloch.

>> No.14427707

>>14415226
based

>> No.14427717

>>14415257
It seems like people enjoy decorating them more than actually being productive. It's scrapbooking for zoomers

>> No.14427733

>>14418419
>>14418491
what happened anon?

>> No.14427820

>>14421050
>extinction porn
whats that?

>> No.14428835

how many of you get paid to write? how do i do it?

>> No.14429019
File: 89 KB, 781x1162, 1577331627525.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14429019

>>14402703

Her name was Sabrina. She was a high school freshman living in a Midwestern town, living with her divorced mom. Dad was out of her life by age 5, and since then Mom worked all day until 6pm. The only time Sabrina had with her mom was in the morning when she was a small child, which was when mom would drop her off at elementary school. Now, Sabrina goes to and from school alone, or with male friends who'd drop her off after having a little bit of fun together, even several guys at the same time.

Sabrina was mostly alone, getting picked up by the seniors guys with cars during her walk home, and she grew a reputation. Guys who have heard of her would approach her and exchange numbers, and she didn't refuse anyone. During lunch she would sneak into the boy's bathroom and meet her friends there. If she didn't feel like it, her friends brought gifts or money, and she would pull her pants down to either feel a hand, dick, or a mouth on her. If there wasn't enough time to get the next boy or herself off, they would meet after school. Nobody liked condoms, so Sabrina only wore them on certain times of the month. Otherwise, she enjoyed raw sex and being filled up...

>> No.14429024

I really need to take medicine and calm down. I should be nicer to you people but you should be nicer back. More understanding too.

>> No.14429047

https://pastebin.com/hX3EVZ8t

>> No.14429127

>>14428835
you dont

>> No.14429217
File: 72 KB, 761x1024, 1572856772652.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
14429217

My book report is finished teacher! Its called DIVERSITY.

It was a dark and stormy night, I entered the local Beaner Bell to get away from the greasy rain coming from the local Chinese mystery meat shops downtown, the air was so full of grease you could almost smell it turning to soap. Unfortunately in my rush to open the door I touched the handle with my bare hand, the touch of beaner juice mixing with sweat residue made my skin crawl and inside I held my hand at a distance as I took note of my surroundings. 6 shebeasts and 2 whales conjugated near the front of the desk trying to order something from the menu of unidentifiable Mexican “Soul Food” that surly could never come from the mind of a White man in its deadly and mysterious concoction. A gang of Mexicans huddled in a corner speaking their voodoo like mixture of Mexican Spanish that I could only identify as a literny of insults, curses and black magic. Dark forces seemed to emanated from them and I quickly closed my hears to their spells as I looked for something resembling a napkin or a sink.

As I walked up to the desk I was summoned my the worker drone whose head was connected to a mainframe than insured all workers where achieving 100% output for the company. I asked for coffee and she/he/it handed me some frothy, sugary muk that looked more like dog puke than anything I would willingly imbibe.
To my left the shebeasts were having trouble with their order, apparently the shebeast did not like the taste of her mocha, choca, pro-immigration, pure sugar, melon flavoured, goy latte and was attempting to get a refund, for which could not be given as drinks are, to anyone’s chagrin, not for resale.

Then the white shebeast turned to me, seemingly I missed a queue as she then stomped her massive elephant leg and trumpeted before commanding me to do something. I shook my head which seemed to be not what she wanted. I could hear the squelching coming from her head, as her overtaxed sugar encrusted brain worked over time to figure out how to respond to my disobedience.

The squelching increased, faster and faster as her eyes shot up deep into her head, the veins pulsing across her forebutt like head and steam slowly rising from her ears as she commanded the poor slave in her skull to work for her. Then it came, the squelching stopped, her eyes came back to level only to find, I, nowhere in sight. I wise man once said, best to disappear when white shebeasts are near. And so at this revelation to my non-existence, like a child, she instantly forgot me saw the drink in her hand remembered her anger, bellowed like a beached whale and then like a bull in a china shop began to hit, kick, scream, shout, bite, tear, scratch everything and everyone for the unfair universe she inhabited that dare not do as she commanded..