The Works of Lucian. Vol. 6

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14370064]

A CONVERSATION WITH CRONUS

PRIEST
Cronus, you seem to be king just now, and it is you to whom we have offered sacrifices and we have received favorable omens. Now, what precise return for these rites would you give me if I asked ?

CRONUS
In this case the proper procedure is for you to have made your own decision what to pray for, unless you expect your king to be a diviner as well and know what request would please you. As far as lies within my power I shall not deny your prayer.

PRIEST
My decision was made a long time ago. I shall ask for the usual, obvious things—wealth, a lot of gold, to be lord of an estate, to own many slaves, clothing, bright-coloured and soft, silver, ivory, and everythingelsethatisworthsomething. Grant me some part of this, my dearest Cronus, so that I too may profit from your reign, and may not spend my whole life as the only one who gets no benefit.

CRONUS
There! That request is beyond me. It is not mine to distribute things of that sort. So don't be discontented if you don't get them, but ask Zeus when the sovereignty comes round to him, as it will do presently. I take over the kingship on set terms. My entire reign is for seven days ; the moment this period is over I am a private citizen and, I suppose, one of the common herd. But during the seven days I have agreed to conduct no business whatever, not even in the market. What I may do is drink and be drunk, shout, play games and dice, appoint masters of the revels, feast the servants, sing stark naked, clap and shake, and sometimes even get pushed head-first into cold water with my face smeared with soot. Such great gifts as wealth and gold Zeus distributes to whomsoever he pleases.

PRIEST
But even Zeus, Cronus, is not ready or openhanded in his gifts. At any rate I've shouted for them till I'm worn out, yet he doesn't listen at all. No, he shakes his aegis and brandishes his thunderbolt with a fierce stare and terrifies those who bother him. If ever he does nod assent to anyone and make him rich, there is a great lack of discrimination about it. He sometimes passes over the good and wise and lavishes riches on wicked and stupid people, most of them criminals and effeminates. But the things you can do these are what I want to know.

CRONUS
They are not entirely of no importance or altogether contemptible when judged in relation to the power of my entire empire. —unless you think it trivial to win at dice, and when others are rolling singles always to be turning up sixes yourself.

[Anonymous No.14370107]

What the fuck? Were you outside my apartment or not?

:3

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14370179]

CRONUS continued
At any rate many men have got themselves more than enough to eat in this sort of way, men to whom the die will give a gracious and generous nod. Then again, there are those who have swum out to safety without a stitch of clothing when their ship has foundered on the die's tiny reef. Again, to drink the most delightful drinks, to be acclaimed a better singer in your cups than the next man, to see the others who serve at table with you thrown into the water as the penalty for their clumsy service while you are proclaimed victor and win the sausage as prize do you see what a blessing that is ? Again, to become sole king of all with a win at the knuckle-bones, so that you not only escape silly orders but can give them yourself, telling one man to shout out something disgraceful about himself, another to dance naked, pick up the flute-girl, and carry her three times round the house—surely this is proof of my generosity? And if you criticise this kingdom as not real or lasting you will be unreasonable when you know that I myself who dispense these blessings have the sovereignty for only a short time. So do not hesitate to ask for any of these things which I can give you: gaming, lordship of the feast, singing and all that I have enumerated, in the assurance that I shall not in any circumstances frighten you with the aegis and the thunderbolt.

PRIEST
Why, best of Titans, I need nothing like that. But answer me this I have longed to know, and if you tell me it will be an adequate return for the sacrifice and I release you from future debts.

CRONUS
Just ask what you want. I shall answer if I happen to know.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14370188]

PRIEST
This first : whether what we often hear about you is true, that you ate up Rhea's children, but she put Zeus out of the way, substituting a stone for you to swallow down instead of the child ; then, when he grew up, he beat you in war and drove you from the sovereignty; he took you to Tartarus, put fetters on you and all the allies who sided with you, and threw you in.

CRONUS
If it were not festival-time, my man, and if you weren't allowed to get drunk and cheek your masters with impunity, you would have found—out that I'm allowed to be angry at any rate asking such questions and showing no respect for a grey-haired old god like me !

PRIEST
Now I don't say this on my own, Cronus. Hesiod and Homer say so; I'm not sure that I should tell you that the rest of mankind too believes pretty much the same about you.

CRONUS
Do you imagine that that shepherd, that impostor, has any sound knowledge of me? Look at it this way: would any man (I will not say god) put up with eating his own children of his own free will, unless he were some Thyestes fallen foul of an impious brother ? Suppose he were as mad as this ; then how would he fail to recognise he was eating a stone and not a child, unless he had no feeling in his teeth? No, there was no fighting, nor does Zeus rule his empire by force; I handed it to him and abdicated quite voluntarily. That I am neither in chains nor in Tartarus I suppose you see for yourself, unless you are as blind as Homer.

PRIEST
Why ever did you let the sovereignty go, Cronus ?

[Anonymous No.14370282]

>>14370188
please continue, little butterfly. i like roman dialogues

[Anonymous No.14370308]

>>14370282
>Roman

[Anonymous No.14370323]

More liked Lucian

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14370412]

CRONUS
I will tell you. In brief it was because I was old and gouty owing to my years. That is why people suppose that I had been put into chains. I hadn't the strength to deal with all the injustice of the present generation, but I had to run up and down with my thunderbolt at the ready, setting fire to perjurers, temple-robbers, or men of violence; the whole business was very strenuous and needed a young man's energy. So I abdicated, thank goodness, in favour of Zeus. Besides, I thought it a good idea to divide the kingdom between my sons, and for myself to spend most of my time in quiet enjoyment of the good things of life, not engaged with people making vows or annoyed by those who make contradictory requests, neither thundering nor lightening nor having to throw hail occasionally. No, I live this pleasant life of an old man, drinking stiff nectar and chatting with lapetus and my other cronies, and Zeus is king with all the worry. Nevertheless I thought it best to filch these few days on the terms I mentioned, and I take over the sovereignty again to remind mankind what life was like under me, when everything grew for them without sowing and without ploughing—not ears of wheat, but loaves ready-baked and meats ready-cooked. Wine flowed like a river, and there were springs of honey and milk; for everyone was good, pure gold. This is the reason for my short-lived dominion, and why everywhere
there is clapping and singing and playing games, and everyone, slave and free man, is held as good as his neighbour. There was no slavery, you see, in my time.

PRIEST
Well, Cronus, I had assumed from the story that this humanity you showed to slaves and those in chains was to do honour to men whose sufferings had been like your own, since you yourself had been a slave and you were remembering your chains.

CRONUS
Oh, stop that silly talk.

PRIEST
You are right. I will stop. But answer me another question. Was it customary for men to gamble in your time ?

CRONUS
Certainly. But not for talents and thousands of drachmas as you do. No, nuts were the highest stake. Then there was no heart-break if a man was beaten, or floods of tears because he alone had lost the price of a meal.

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » !mxvabIoSIE No.14370500]

>>14370282
Greek dialogue, though maybe influenced by Romans, it seems more likely that he influenced them

PRIEST
How wise they were! What could their stakes be when they were pure gold themselves? But while you were talking I thought of something : suppose one of your men of beaten gold had been brought into our world for everyone to see, what a bad time the poor wretch would have had at people's hands! They would have certainly rushed at him and torn him limb from limb, as the Maenads tore Pentheus, the Thracians Orpheus, and the dogs Actaeon, vying with each other to carry off the biggest piece. Not even at festival-time are they free from greed for gain. Indeed most of them have made your festival a source of revenue. Some of them go off and rob their friends at the banquet; others revile you when they ought not and smash the dice, which are certainly not responsible for what they do of their own free will. But tell me this as well: why, when you are such a soft-living god and old at that, have you chosen the most unpleasant time of the year, when the snow covers everything, the North wind is strong, everything is frozen, trees are withered and bare and leafless, fields are ugly and without bloom, and men are bent like old, old men, most of them hard by the stove? The season is not good for the old or for lovers of easy living.

CRONUS
You are asking me a lot of questions, my man, when I ought to be already drinking. In fact you've robbed me of quite a bit of my festival with all these completely unnecessary speculations. So let them be for now and let us enjoy ourselves, clap hands, and live on freedom's terms at this festival-time. Then let's dice in the old way for nuts, vote for our kings and obey them. So I will prove the truth of the proverb which says that for old men there comes a second childhood.

(Seems to be hiding something)

[« Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ » No.14370500,1]

PRIEST
Well, Cronus, never may anyone who doesn't approve of what you say be able to get a drink when he is thirsty! Then let us drink ! Your first answer was quite enough. I think I shall write down this conversation of ours in a book, both what I asked and what you so kindly answered, and I'll give it to my friends to read, at any rate those who deserve to hear what you have said.

___CRONOSOLON___
Thus says Cronosolon, priest and prophet of Cronus, and giver of laws for his festival.
What the poor must do I have written in another book and sent to them, and I am well assured thai they will abide by the laws, or else they will at once be liable to the severe penalties appointed for disobedience. But you who are rich, see that you do not transgress the law or hear these commands amiss. Whoever acts otherwise, let him know that it is not I, the lawgiver, whom he slights, but he does injury to Cronus himself, who has appointed me lawgiver of his festival, appearing before me in no dream, but conversing with me in bodily shape the other day when I was fully awake. He was not in fetters, nor was he shabby, as the painters show him, following the ravings of the poets. No, he had his sickle full-whetted; he was all radiance and strength, and his garb was that of a king. Such was his appearance when he was seen by me. What he said equally showed his divinity and may be told you by way of preface. Seeing me morose and walking deep in thought, he knew at once, as became a god, the reason for my grief, namely that I was cross because of my poverty, having but a single cloak, not enough for the season; for it was cold with a strong north-wind, ice and snow, and I had little defence against these things; and then since the festival was almost at hand, I saw other people getting ready their sacrifices and feasts, and I had little that makes for festival-time. Well, he came up from behind, took me by the ear, and shook me (his usual way of accosting me), and said “Why are you looking so downhearted, Cronosolon?”
“Haven't I every reason, master, when I see disgusting and filthy rogues unbelievably rich and alone leading a comfortable life, while I and many another educated man know poverty and despair as companions? But even you, master, won't put a stop to these things and make a more equitable arrangement." Generally speaking," he said,
"it's not easy to change the lot that Clotho and the other Fates assign you, but as far as the needs of the festival go I shall set your poverty right. This is how I shall do it: go, Cronosolon, and write me laws on conduct during the festival, so that the rich may not keep private festival but share their good things with you." “I do not know the laws," I said. “I will instruct you," said he, and he set to. Then, when I had learnt them all, he said, “And tell them that if they are disobedient it’s not for nothing that I carry this sickle—I should be a fool to have castrated my own father Uranus, and yet not make eunuchs of the rich who break my laws, making them servants of the Great Mother and collectors for her, complete with flutes and cymbals." That was his threat. So you had better not transgress his ordinances.