Why is fantasy so bad now?

[Anonymous No.14327639]

https://twitter.com/KANTBOT20K/status/1204522385094914055

[Anonymous No.14327649]

Kantbot is pure reddit. He came here and forced some kind of "AMA" (i think he even called it an AMA). People called him a queer and he left.

[Anonymous No.14327654]

>>14327649
>People called him a queer and he left.
good

[Anonymous No.14327659]

>>14327649
Don't know a shit about the guy but he is right you know

[Anonymous No.14327664]

Its based around world building and there are only so many LOTR/Harry Potter clones you can tolerate

[Anonymous No.14327718]

>>14327639
desu you have to be gay if you think hot nearly naked overpowered stacies are not an improvement, fantasy is already shit, at least make it fun

[Anonymous No.14327721]

>>14327718
redditor faggot

[Anonymous No.14327734]

What makes it impossible for them to coexist?

[Anonymous No.14327743]

>>14327718
ok coomer

[Anonymous No.14327752]

>>14327721
>>14327743
>NOO YOU CAN'T COOM TO LITERATURE YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS A24 SOUL CRUSHING SLOW BURNING INTERACIAL PROPAGANDA

[Anonymous No.14327755]

ahh yes. look at you shoggoths pop out, took roughly only an hour

[Anonymous No.14327757]

Thanks for posting this fat retard's fat retard opinions OP

[Anonymous No.14327782]

>>14327639
Tired inspiration. Modernistic prose which comes associated with a modern mindset of the characters. Overlong. Visually oriented story telling (in that it chronicles every facial expression but somehow comes with a complete lack of any arresting descriptions of the environment since that would require skill) Lack of a narrator necessitating 1000 words for things of no real importance that could have taken 1/20th of the space.

[Anonymous No.14327820]

>>14327752
Yes.

[Anonymous No.14327827]

>>14327649
>he thinks people are who they say they are on 4chan

[Anonymous No.14327831]

>>14327639
Now? There are probably less than ten good fantasy novels, period.

[Anonymous No.14327834]

Posts that start with a Twitter screen cap or even link in this case should be banned.
Who gives a shit about the opinion of some turbo faggot?
Stop shilling your gay account Cuntbot you retarded nigger faggot.

[Anonymous No.14327843]

>>14327664
> world building
More like flat cardboard as background for shitty love triangle every single time.

[Anonymous No.14327859]

>>14327639
>Now

[Anonymous No.14327869]

So Nietzsche was a wizard?

[Anonymous No.14327877]

>Why is fantasy so bad now?
I'm procrastinating, like all old souls.

[Anonymous No.14327884]

>>14327869
There are theories out there that Nietzsche feigned his madness, inline with the whole Dionysus thing, in order to get access to poetic impulses.

[Anonymous No.14327931]

fantasy is kiddie literature anyway, why care

[Anonymous No.14327936]

>>14327931
Children should have good things.

[Anonymous No.14327945]

>>14327931
kid's stuff is the stuff dreams are made out of

[Anonymous No.14327977]

>>14327639
Stop playing video games and you won't have to express dumb opinions like this.

[Anonymous No.14327995]

>>14327977
Like, this is one step away from saying modern fantasy has bad grafics, or cheap special effects.

Read a book, cunt.

[Anonymous No.14328018]

>>14327639
>carrying about contemporary fantasy garbage at all

[Anonymous No.14328846]

>>14327639
I share that opinion but Kanbot is still a fag

[Anonymous No.14329416]

He's right, you know

https://twitter.com/KANTBOT20K/status/1204787000450125828

[Anonymous No.14329534]

>>14327752
Ok coomer

[Anonymous No.14329540]

>>14329416

Hits too close to home man.

[Anonymous No.14329661]

>>14327649
Kantbot here. You're a huge faggot.

[Anonymous No.14329662]

will anyone want to read my fantasy "novel" when i finish it? it will include a complete history and eschatology for the world in question and include lengthy discussions of economic and cultural intricacies, detailing each region's philosophical, culinary, musical, religious etc. development and how they influenced each other etc.

[Anonymous No.14329692]

>>14327649
shut the fuck up, kantbot is literally the only good twitter poster. you yourself are the redditor!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOk6HB609po

[Anonymous No.14329710]

>>14329416
Based

[Anonymous No.14329719]

>>14327649
He'd be based if I didn't know that he looks like a fat goblin, maybe if he were handsome I'd respect his compulsive contrarianism but he's ugly and pathetic looking so it's not respectable and therefore cringe

[Anonymous No.14329730]

[Anonymous No.14329744]

[Anonymous No.14329769]

>>14329662
No.

[Anonymous No.14329780]

>>14329730
>>14329744
based

[Anonymous No.14329799]

>>14329662
sure

[Anonymous No.14329813]

>>14329730
>>14329744
Oh boy can't wait to repost this in r/chapotraphouse!

[Anonymous No.14329817]

>>14329744
what the fuck does this even MEAN

[Anonymous No.14329819]

>>14327752
lmao cumbrains seething

[Anonymous No.14329822]

What's an actually good fantasy book?

[Anonymous No.14329827]

>>14329416
some syphilitic french looking dude may not be the best choice for Yes-posting

[Anonymous No.14329828]

>>14329744
???

[Anonymous No.14329837]

Why are you posting garbage from twitter here? What did you hope to accomplish with this thread?

[Anonymous No.14329843]

>>14329817
the real corporation was the friends we made along the way

[Anonymous No.14329876]

>>14329817
It means he's yet another brain dead Anglo

[Anonymous No.14329917]

>>14329822
The Hobbit
The Lord of the Rings
The Princess and the Goblin
Watership Down

[Anonymous No.14330189]

>>14327639
I ignore all recommendations that are by author. Because there's no way you can like all works from an author. People name drop to sound smarter. The don't really care to show you good work, they just want to impress you with names.

[Anonymous No.14330368]

>>14327639
Is there, or will there ever be, a bigger pseud then kantbot?

[Anonymous No.14330384]

>>14330368
his sidekick, Logo Daedalus

[Anonymous No.14330405]

>>14327639
Because appealing to tasteless otakus is always a mistake. This is what Miyazaki was warning us about.

[Anonymous No.14330454]

>>14329827
It's Schiller

[Anonymous No.14330463]

>>14329692
>Good twitter poster
Ebick pleonasm fren

[Anonymous No.14330472]

>>14329817
His parents do not love him.

[Anonymous No.14330527]

>>14327869
he was. his words are molding reality to this day.

[Anonymous No.14330544]

>>14329744
lol

That said, making it your life's purpose to have a wife and three kids makes you an NPC, even if you arrive at that conclusion by some batshit neo-Christian mental gymnastics.

[Anonymous No.14330556]

>>14327649
>>14327654
>>14327718
>>14327721
>>14327752
>>14327755
>>14327757
>>14327834
>>14327931
>>14327977
>>14328846
>>14329661
>>14329719
>>14329817
>>14329827
>>14329876
>>14330368
>>14330472
Reminder to listen to the Official Tekwars Fan Network Podcast

[Anonymous No.14332162]

Kantbot can't stop dunking on plebs

https://twitter.com/KANTBOT20K/status/1204776898083069952

[Anonymous No.14332308]

>>14329822
he Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion

[Anonymous No.14332491]

>>14327718
Based and redpilled.

>>14330556
Based too.

>>14332162
>oh noes, someone enjoys something

[Anonymous No.14332514]

>>14327721
>14327718
>>14329416
Anyone that cares about fantasy either way is a redditor. Reading it past 18 is embarrassing.

[Anonymous No.14332587]

>>14327639
Imagination pollution, you grow up reading garbage, it makes you think about garbage, and then you write even lower quality garbage. It's the human centipede of imagination, every stage brings what you produce closer to pure shit.

We have more literate people than ever, better access to any cultural product than ever, but people tend to produce the same garbage because their imaginations are polluted. Choose your influences carefully, don't hesitate to reject anything less than 200 years old lest you're tempted into producing the same crap as everyone else.

[Anonymous No.14333150]

>>14330556
please get nick land on again without another guest. also robin hanson. also greg cochran

[Anonymous No.14333199]

>>14329744
k*****t is usually lucid for the most part but this is such a gay anomieic take that its embarrassing. he should know better.

[Anonymous No.14333209]

>>14327639
People nowadays assume that there is some "formula" to follow.

[Anonymous No.14333211]

>>14327639
r/fantasy IS GONNA FREAK

[Anonymous No.14333234]

>>14327752
based retard

[Anonymous No.14333379]

>>14327869
Yes.

[Anonymous No.14333440]

>>14327639
This gave me an idea for a story with a sexy elf protagonist that can shoot fireballs. Scorned and scorched by the callous words of the elvene, male and female both, she had no one.

In elven society, there are a few things taken for granted. One is that only males can shoot fireballs. Another is that elves are always born in pairs. There are no lonely hearts in elven realms, for when you are born, so is your soulmate of the opposite sex.

Those caught in the throes of contempt cannot think. If they could, they might realize there is likely a connection between Amber and her sexy ability to throw fireballs and her lack of a soulmate. Heck, if the mocking females could think, they might not intentionally aggravate an elf who can throw fireballs and has no gender based honour code inhibiting her.

Amber never did burn them though. No, she just left. There was really no reason for her to stay, after all. Not much reason to go either, but the futility of life means you might as well do something. It didn't take her long before she stumbled on a human settlement. Humans are everywhere these days. Humans and their awful vulgarities. They had signs right out in public advertising elven kisses and their price. Can't even keep the sexual services menu in the brothel itself.

Amber entered the 7/11. The only place left in town where one could get a hot meal, the drawbridges at any of the more respectable restaurants went up at sundown. She stood in the line-up for the checkout because she wanted chicken wings. They're ear-quiveringly good, as they used to say before, but the past doesn't exist anymore and that slogan never made much sense. Only one thing makes elven ears quiver and it isn't fried chicken.

She paid for her chicken by agreeing with the teller that she could have three chicken strips in exchange for showing him her breasts. However, when the strips were displayed before her, she saw trickery was afoot. The cashier had deliberately given her the smallest chicken strips in the display. She ordered him to take them back and bring her longer chicken strips. He dutifully did so but she was shocked to see the chicken strips she thought here long were short like the rest.

"It's a trick you know." A voice said behind her. She turned to see a man behind her. humans all looked the same. He continued talking. "It's the glass, not the strips. They angle the glass so the strips get magnified and appear larger. Hold your strips up to the case and see."

Sure enough, when she did so, she saw the source of the size discrepancy was indeed the glass. Again the voice behind her spoke. "I imagine that must be at least worth seeing your breasts as well."

"Perhaps it is, you mere mortal man, but next time you should make the arrangement in advance. You've already given me your bargaining chip."

"Well, maybe I have knowledge beyond chicken strip subterfuge." He replied evenly. But alas, this story has hit the 3000 character count and probably sucks

[Anonymous No.14333452]

>>14327639
I don't know who that is but I'd actually like to read more about that old fantasy. Any articles/books?

[Anonymous No.14333480]

>>14332162
>corn syrup addict and pastry enthusiast
>making fun of people for having bad taste
What a cow

[Anonymous No.14333515]

>>14333440
This is better than 90% of the stuff /lit/ writers have.

[Anonymous No.14333537]

>>14333440
based, thanks for sharing

[Anonymous No.14333549]

>>14333440
>>14333515
>>14333537
cringe

[Anonymous No.14333850]

>>14332587
this

[Anonymous No.14333873]

>>14327639
This is simply wrong. Medea and Circe weren't philologists, they were half-immortal sexy women who could turn you into animals, hypnotize you and conjure flying chariots.

[Anonymous No.14333938]

>>14327718
the based coomer

[Anonymous No.14334008]

>>14327718
just make it fun, why cant u let people have their fun??

[Anonymous No.14334061]

Who cares? Kantbot's a dribbling reddit turbo-autist. The only thing of value he adds is the carbon dioxide he exhales.

[Anonymous No.14334091]

>>14330556
i may if you post a link without paywalls

[Anonymous No.14334106]

>>14333440
>But alas, this story has hit the 3000 character count and probably sucks
based

[Anonymous No.14334140]

>>14332514
Your existence is embarrassing. Please cease.

[Anonymous No.14334157]

>>14332162
Elf porn can be art. But he's not wrong.

[Anonymous No.14334288]

>>14330556
Introspection off the charts. This is why I never joined any right winged groups in anything ever. Just a bunch of fags, in the end.

[Anonymous No.14334302]

>>14334288
Dilate

[Anonymous No.14334659]

>>14334106
>>14333515
>>14333537

how kind

[Anonymous No.14334791]

>>14332162
Nobody who is fat is worth listening to, especially someone who looks like the epitome of the harmless little bullied fat nerd who compensates the failures of his childhood with whatever gay everything is bad ideology that lets him posture as keeper of superior knowledge

[Anonymous No.14334835]

>>14333440
This is good.

[Anonymous No.14335147]

>>14334835


Part II

The man was beginning to take shape in her eyes. Not physically, but his demeanor was starting to form her mental image of him. When you gaze upon someone you despise, their flaws are magnified in your eyes, but with a lens of love, the flaws are what you will see none of. In a curious coincidence, it was just like the chicken strip window that had confounded her a moment ago. It takes a keen eye to see things as they truly are.

"You need a place to stay?" The man inquired.

"Why do you ask that?" Amber retorted.

"You just paid for chicken strips with your breasts. I can presume you don't have much in the way of money."

"Who needs money when I have tits?" Amber countered with a dispassionately logical voice.

"Have it your way. Show me your breasts and I'll let you stay with me." The man answered.

Amber furrowed her brow as she realized the mistake she'd made. The tone of his voice had made it clear he hadn't had any interest in compensation for providing her lodging, and all she'd just done was talk herself into having to pay for it. This human was clever.

"What is your name?" Amber asked, eager to move beyond her conversational blunder.

"People call me Seventeen." The man answered.

"Is Seventeen an unusual name for humans?" She asked.

"Yes."

"So why are you called that?" Amber pressed further.

"I never bothered to tell my neighbours my real name, so they just called me "the man in apartment seventeen" if they needed to talk about me. Over time, that name got shortened." Seventeen explained.

"So, I can call you whatever I like?"

"Yes."

"Well, perhaps I'll think of something when I get to know you better. Seventeen suffices for now. Show me the way to your apartment."

And so, he lead her back in the direction she'd come from. This time, when she passed the brothel advertisement, she asked her companion "Why do they call them 'Elven kisses' anyway?"

He appeared a bit surprised at the question. "If you really don't know, it's because elves are short."

"You're the same height as me." She observed dryly.

"Well, I'm short too, but you'll find many human expressions don't make a lot of sense."

Amber harrumphed in a display of contempt for the term, but didn't pursue any more complaints about it. They walked on together. She munched on her diminutive chicken strips. Eventually, Seventeen stopped in front of a large black gate around an apartment building.

"This is the place, but we're going to have to climb over the fence." Seventeen said.

"Don't you have a key for the gate?" Amber asked.

"Yes, I'll explain after, let's just get over it." The gate was easily vaulted over for the duo, only a curtain of security, not the sort of gate that could actually inhibit any trespasser. There was a set of stairs going down and Seventeen hastily beckoned for her to descend them quickly. Once at the landing, they were invisible from the street outside the gate. From the street, Amber heard yelling directed at them.

[Anonymous No.14335158]

>>14327639
Fantasy has always been bad.

[Anonymous No.14335500]

>>14335147
So what's an elven kiss?

[Anonymous No.14335921]

>>14327820
no not yes

[Anonymous No.14335953]

>>14335147
Please stop. Just stop.

[Anonymous No.14335959]

>>14327639
Has fantasy ever been good? Tolkien and Lewis have talent but they're nothing amazing. I feel like being a fantasy "snob" is just a cope.

[Anonymous No.14335963]

>>14329719
This but unironically. Kantbot helped me understand the aesthetic imperative through his personal failing.

[Anonymous No.14335983]

>>14329719
>>14335963
This is how I feel about that Fantano guy who talks about music. How am I supposed to respect the aesthetic opinion of someone who looks like a crushed Toad?

[Anonymous No.14337048]

>>14335953
>writing on the literature board

no

no

this is where I get mad about twitter screencaps

you can't do this

[Anonymous No.14337075]

>>14327649
>>14329661
real kantbot here. i suck dick for 5 dollars also OP is faggot

[Anonymous No.14337079]

>>14333440
Good post.

[Anonymous No.14337091]

>>14330368
mr crumps

[Anonymous No.14337096]

>>14333480
imagine seethe by a corn syrup addict and pastry enthusiast

[Anonymous No.14337210]

>>14334288
I agree, but I really dont like any wing period. usually turns into circle jerk regardless. The leftys I do like are ones who can separate conviction from argument or dialogue. Thats Why I can enjoy some of Zizek.

[Anonymous No.14337247]

>>14335959
>Has fantasy ever been good?
yes, read Lord Dunsany and Hodgson

[Anonymous No.14337258]

>>14329876
>>14329817
No. Its literally part of Aristotle and most subsequent political theories . I dont think you could argue that the family unit is not a form of corporation. Corporation in the original sense, not just narrowed capitalist buisness sense. Family>community>Buisness>Town>City>state>etc.

[Anonymous No.14337267]

>>14333440
Pssh, im on /lit/ you expect me to actually read that? lol.

[Anonymous No.14337531]

>>14337267
you've already read it

[Anonymous No.14338044]

Right again

https://twitter.com/KANTBOT20K/status/1205206984447971335

[Anonymous No.14338237]

>>14329719
Can there be no based fat goblins?

[Anonymous No.14338326]

>>14333440
im intrigued

[Anonymous No.14338455]

>>14329416
>objective beauty
has there ever been a remotely persuasive argument for it beyond "muh symmetry"? it's ok for different people to like different things, the lack of objective standards of beauty isn't going to hurt anyone

[Anonymous No.14338488]

>>14335500
It's a blowjob anon

[Anonymous No.14338505]

Fantasy novels are not exactly "The Brothers Karamazov".
If I am to read a fantasy novel it better have busty elfies throwing large fireballs. And hot busty female warriors with boob armors. Fantasy novels are not high literature.

[Anonymous No.14338538]

>>14327639
>genre made for children was more enjoyable when I was a child

[Anonymous No.14338543]

>>14334791
fucking this

[Anonymous No.14338639]

I'm writing a fantasy romance novel

[Anonymous No.14338655]

>>14338639
>can you circumnavigate the intellectual quagmire yourself

[Anonymous No.14338787]

>>14338455
See Kant's Transcendental Aesthetic and the Critique of Judgement

[Anonymous No.14338869]

>>14335147
>>14338326


Part III

As expected, the door at the bottom of the stairs had the number seventeen in gold written on it. Whoever was yelling at them was insisting that they "come back there".

Mister Seventeen informed her it was a police officer calling out to them. "It's a bad neighbourhood, so they're always patrolling. Whenever I see them cruising down the street, I hop the gate to mess with them. He can't get us now, magic forbids trespassers from entering without a warrant, but he can stand there and yell." He explained further, as he unlocked the basement apartment door.

"Why do you do this?" Amber asked.

"To make them mad" He replied as he swung the door open. Amber saw, in human vernacular, a shithole. Though she knew humans didn't actually use such things themselves. They sought to distance themselves from nature as much as possible. They kept everything they could from Gaia.

Trash on the floor, trash on the counter, sheets absent from the bed, and all Seventeen said was; "If you think this is bad, my neighbour's place would drive you mad."

Amber was nonplussed. Actually, she felt a bit of glee in confirmation humans were really as filthy as raccoons. Everyone likes being right, elfen or human. Anyway, for Amber, it was time to get undressed for bed. And for an elf to take off her clothes, you must first know what they look like. So look at the picture you dumb cunt, as if I need to waste my time describing a green skirt and a green shirt and a green hat.

As Seventeen watched the clothes fall to the floor, he remarked: "I thought elves were supposed to be conservative."

"They are supposed to be, if they have someone they're saving themselves for. You wouldn't have sex with anyone besides your sister, but if you had no sister then what difference would it make who saw your figure?"

Seventeen suppressed his smirk and then said: "Okay, I understand what you're getting at. So what makes you so certain you have no soulmate?"

"I'm the only elf who had no male counterpart born with her." Amber answered.

"In the whole world, or what? How do you know no elf was born at the same instant as you?"

"Soulmates are two halves of the same heart, and frequently born very close together, if not as twins directly, then certainly in the same settlement." Amber explained.

Then with a sober sadness, she said: "I have a whole heart to myself. I don't think anyone else has realized it because of how early they mate with their other half, but the fireball's power needs a whole heart. If elves didn't all die at the same time, I bet they'd realize that their fireballs vanish upon their other half's death."

Seventeen looked pensive after she finished speaking. "So, could you tell me what love means for you" He asked.

"There is no love for me, because I have a heart all to myself." She answered.

"So you don't care if we sleep in the same bed?"

"What difference would it make?" Amber stated with finality.

[Anonymous No.14338963]

>>14338044
Enh, this fucking faggot is observing things correctly, but making terrible deductions. There was no council of people who decided they could create fake nostalgia. People love to assume there's some sort of driving force guiding people, but it's not the case.

They blame or congratulate the current sitting president for whatever happens under their term. Here's a real newsflash for you, the president is nothing but a scapegoat for the tides of time. The tide will go in or the tide will go out, and those who seek meaning will believe it was because of the president, but the tide doesn't care.

[Anonymous No.14339634]

tfw the only thing worth reading on this whole board is a dimestore fantasy novel hidden in a twitter outrage thread

[Anonymous No.14339658]

>>14338044
where does this fat ugly dork get off calling others nerds

[Anonymous No.14339665]

>>14339634
That's because you're a /tg/ crossboarder scum.

[Anonymous No.14339729]

>>14339665
It's because my dick is large and girls get seriously worried when they see it and say gee I don't know how about I just give you a blowjob?

[Anonymous No.14339904]

>>14327639
>alt-righter
>bitching about tits, not diversity
Well, that's different.

[Anonymous No.14340459]

>>14339904
Tits are good tho

[Anonymous No.14340578]

>>14338869
<3

[Anonymous No.14341066]

>>14340578
if the thread stays, I might be able to keep writing in a bit

[Anonymous No.14341102]

>>14329662
>lengthy discussions of economic
Muh aragons tax policy lmao
Sounds good otherwise tho

[Anonymous No.14341120]

>>14330556
>phoneposting zoomer memes

kantbot = reddit

>>14332491
>oh noes, caturday epic win

reddit faggot tourist

[Anonymous No.14341165]

entry level anon here
what books should i read?
interested in something not too high fantasy but not too low fantasy, something like the witcher books

[Anonymous No.14341297]

where the fuck is the fantasy thread?

[Anonymous No.14341360]

>>14332587
This but with the caveat that a dedication to authenticity can still result in good fantasy, it's just that people want their cake and eat it too. They want a medieval setting BUT they also want guns (hence the infection of almost all fantasy settings with muh engineering and muh sciene or muh magic being equal to muh science).
If one conforms to the boundaries of an idea they can still make cool stuff.
The problem of fantasy is that people treat it as if it was a a fanservice genre. It doesn't have to make sense because its fantasy, duh.

[Anonymous No.14341373]

>>14333873
>what is a sorceress compared to a wizard

[Anonymous No.14341382]

>>14337247
Why is it good?

[Anonymous No.14341454]

>>14338044
>tfw marvel retroactively debunked soibois

[Anonymous No.14341528]

Main Protagonist obsession.
Stop having a fucking main character.

[Anonymous No.14341538]

>>14341373
Better reading, that's what

[Anonymous No.14341665]

>>14338869

1V Part

Well, for Amber it was no trouble falling asleep beside Seventeen. Elves can sleep pretty well anywhere, just like cats. Their typical nest is the forestbed itself.

For Seventeen, used to celibacy, getting comfortable with the elf in his bed made sleep a struggle. He had gotten accustomed to being alone. He curled up and held her breasts in his hand, a sleeping position he hadn't had occasion for in forever. At least her crystalline crotch meant he didn't have to fret about whether or not sleeping together was a sexual invitation. He was also naked by the way, he shared her preference for nude slumber.

At least his tossing and turning gave him time to think. Eventually, tortured sleep came to him but not before it occurred to him what question he should ask her in the morning. Then, in a blink of an eye morning came. And Seventeen felt alone when he woke up. The elf was no longer in bed with him. Every other morning he'd woken up like this until now, and he'd never felt alone. Amazing how quickly one connects with another, even if it is an elf.

She was puttering around nakedly in his basement bachelor cave that suddenly seemed smaller with two people it. His trash that was scattered around was getting heaped out the window. He was about to comment on the landlord's likely dislike for littering when he saw her unleash a fireball at the trash pile and vaporize it. Problem solved apparently.

"Oh right," he said as he suddenly remembered. "When it comes to soulmates, are you two parts of a whole in any other way?"

"What do you mean?" Amber asked.

"Well, like, you said they're often twins right. So would your soulmate look just like you? Same hair colour and so on?" Seventeen explained.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Even if they're born apart?"

"Yeppers." Amber said.

"Are the elven men taller than the girls?" Seventeen inquired.

"No, well, they'd be the same height as their mate. Couples as a unit could be taller than another couple though."

Seventeen strode directly up to her, close enough for her bosom to press against his chest and he looked directly in her brown eyes. Then he said: "You were right yesterday when you said we're the same height."

She laughed impulsively when the notion struck her. "You think a human could be my mate? Putting aside everything else, if you were mine, my crystal cunt would have opened if my mate was naked and so near as you were to me last night." Then as an afterthought, she added: "And right now actually."

"What do I look like?" Seventeen asked.

Amber blinked and maybe for the first time took notice of this man's features that were right in her face. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Eyes perfectly on level with hers.

"Irstl" she scoffed(It's an elven expression, doesn't mean much more than bah). "A few features in common, nothing more. You don't have elf ears like me, and might I remind you, you're also not an elf."

"You know how I knew the trick with the glass at the 7/11?" Seventeen asked.

[Anonymous No.14341999]

>>14341665

V

"How?" She asked dismissively.

"Almost word for word, I had that exact same encounter with the same cashier at the same 7/11. Then when I stopped by there yesterday, I saw the whole scene play out again, but this time, it wasn't me getting angry about chicken strip size."

"Oh well of course, we both get mad about chicken strips yes I'm convinced now, let's racemix, please ravish me, take an orcish mace and hammer my crotch until it shatters open, we can really make this work." Amber said with a tinge of sarcasm. "After all, who needs love when you have a sledgehammer?"

"All it takes is nudity and proximity, you're certain there's nothing else?" Seventeen asked, unperturbed.

"It doesn't even take nudity, as far as I know. Once you've met you're mate, if you're near him, it just vanishes and it reappears if you go too far apart." Amber explained, stepping back a bit from Seventeen.

"You know I have no shame around you?" Seventeen said. "This may surprise you, but I don't generally walk around in the nude with girls I've just met.I feel like Adam, as though there's no barrier between you and me."

"Well, that's nice, but there actually is a barrier." Amber retorted, brushing him off.

"Only because we haven't met yet." Seventeen answered.

"I've slept with you. We've met eachother, Seventeen." Amber said.

"My name is Ambrose." He said.

"Okay" Amber said. "So what?"

"So, I can see what colour your pubic hair is now." Ambrose replied.

Amber's eyes shot downwards in a flash. "OH, for FUCK'S sakes." She ejaculated with angry astonishment when she saw her bare skin for the first time.

[Anonymous No.14342140]

>>14333480
Perfect Anglo physiognomy.
Kantbot’s a specimen, better to be a human toad than some fucking IT guy doing bicep curls as a substitute for real vitality.
I hope he’s wolfing down a plate of ten scones as we speak. Pouring tablespoons of sugar into his coffee, red-faced and sweating.

[Anonymous No.14342219]

>>14329744
How does a family being a corporation change that they are an antidote to liberalism?

[Anonymous No.14342236]

>>14330384
This. Most pretentious guy I’ve ever seen and he looks like pic related.

[Anonymous No.14342316]

>>14340459
I'm not saying they're not, only that usually alt-righters bitch about forced diversity in fantasy. They don't usually bitch about tits.

[Anonymous No.14342330]

>>14342236
is logo the guy in this video next to kantbot?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOk6HB609po

[Anonymous No.14342339]

>>14342330
Yep

[Anonymous No.14342358]

>>14342339
i understand why he's obsessed with nabokov now.

[Anonymous No.14342391]

>>14327757
>>14329719
>>14332162

>this guy thinks himself to be superior to modern bug boi culture

[Anonymous No.14342794]

>>14327757
>>14329719
>>14332162

>the guy that wants to host Sam Hyde and John Mcaffee and bully nerds looks like THIS!?!?!

[Anonymous No.14343477]

>>14332308
Has any of it been published online?

[Anonymous No.14344189]

>>14342219
Words worrying another weak woman

[Anonymous No.14344247]

>>14327718
based and coompilled

[Anonymous No.14344252]

>>14327755
how are these imps related to the mighty shoggoth?

[Anonymous No.14344297]

>>14327649
>he even called it an AMA
i think that was a 4chan term first. i kinda remember seeing it here way back in like 2012 or so.

[Anonymous No.14344682]

>>14329719
>>14342794
I agree to be quite honest. I can not respect his hideous appearance or his soft, weak voice

[Anonymous No.14344821]

>After Tolkien
Imagine thinking A Wizard of Earthsea was bad fantasy

[Anonymous No.14345701]

>>14341999

Ambrose can realize things pretty darn quickly, in mere moments he realized that the crystal shield that protects elven genitalia doesn't just dematerialize into nothing. It just switches over to him, explaining why he became rock solid in an instant.

He's not as fast of a talker though. Before he could even get his observation enunciated, Amber had launched herself at him and locked her lips on his. In a flash, she clambered on his cock and settled down on it.

Matching heights made standing sex a simple and pleasurable proposition for the pair. She was going wild, basically like you'd expect an elf to if she was stuck in a chastity belt for her whole life.

"Yeah, well, what now?" Ambrose asked after it was all over. "Now we're going back to the forest, elves need to be raised bathed by the trees around them. I can't be seen by other elves though, we'll have to live by ourselves." Amber explained.

"What happened to you and the elves, they banish you or something?" Ambrose inquired.

"You happened, idiot. Humans don't go with elves." She answered. "They barely put up with me anyhow anyway."

"That's it? We're just going to live in the forest?" Ambrose asked.

"All you were doing here is living in a basement." Amber answered.

"Alright then, we better get going." Ambrose declared. There was a metal wardrobe in the basement.

I dunno fuck, I think I'm out of ideas. I had a pretty good plotline envisioned for when they set up a tarp over their forest encampment to catch rainwater but after that I just don't know where I'm going with this anymore.

[Anonymous No.14345756]

>>14345701
Write this down, better than most shit I've read recently
If you can get a story together I'll even get it published

[Anonymous No.14346114]

>>14345701
Maybe they go into the forest for their eternal fuckfest, but the elven elders and the human church learn of this unholy union and make an unusual alliance to put a stop to it. Ambrose and Amber fight valiantly for their lives, but are eventually slain in each others embrace.
Maybe they have had a child at this point and its rescued and raised by a forest hermit who was friend of the two, and the epilogue is the hermit telling the child of its lineage, whereupon the novel ends in a circular narrative style, with the end becoming the beginning.

[Anonymous No.14346119]

>>14327639
He is right though, wizards got the mcdonalds treatment.

[Hoaxfag No.14346126]

>>14338963
lolz @ your provably false smug assumptions mundane muggle. You obviously don't understand meme magic or how this world really works. Very little in this world happens "naturally", forced trends for political aims 1000's of years old.

Newsflash: fake news and "cults" is nothing new and if the news is fake imagine the history. You are being played on so many levels the truth sounds utterly preposterous to you. Humans are so easy to manipulate it is like child's play for those with higher perspectives

http://esotericawakening.com/we-fought-the-illuminati

[Anonymous No.14346128]

>>14327639
Isn't YA just a bunch of faggots ripping off Tolkien but now it's EMPOWERED BLACKS.

[Anonymous No.14346130]

>after tolkien
hes right but tolkein himself is still in the safe zone

[Anonymous No.14346378]

>>14329662
Sounds interesting.
>>14329744
Corporations exist just to make profit, families exist for sustaining.
>>14332162
>everything i don't like is porn

[Anonymous No.14346803]

>>14345701

VII

It was Ambrose's view that in an event of true disaster, you'd likely have to relocate in a hurry. He eschewed the notion of a massive underground bunker stocked with three years of food. If you couldn't carry your emergency supplies on your back, they were no good to you. So he had a modest assortment of items stockpiled for emergencies.

He opened his metal wardrobe with Amber hanging off his shoulder and peering inside curiously. What he had was:

24 packaged meals ready-to-eat, a half dozen bags of emergency water, a first aid kit, 1000 matches, and portable gas stove and butane which Amber pointed at and said: "What's that for?"

"That's a stove for cooking." Ambrose answered.

"Well, you won't need that anymore, I'm fire." Amber said. "What's that?" She asked, pointing at a new item. "That's for self-defence." Ambrose supplied.

"Then what's the bow and arrow for?"

"Hunting."

"Oooh, you know you bows can be used for both, right?" Amber said. "Also, I shoot fire anyway, maybe you should just pick one, what's the first thing called?"

"A shotgun."

"Okay, what-" This time, Ambrose was able to interrupt and and tell her what she was pointing at before she finished.

"It's a compass. It tells you where to go. Have you really never seen any of this before?"

"So where are we going, huh partner?" Amber said, ignoring the question.

"North of Vancouver. It might be a metropolis, but all the mountains keep people back and it doesn't take long at all once you get out of the city before you could go in those woods and never be found by anyone." Ambrose explained.

"You've been planning this for a while, haven't you?" Amber said, insightfully. The she gasped as something struck her. "The forest has been calling you, that's why you have all this dumb stuff, that's why you already know the perfect place to go."

"Well, like I said, or one of us said it, doesn't matter much anymore since we're so obviously similar. It takes a keen eye to see things as they really are. I can tell myself I'm just preparing for an emergency, but that might not really be why I do what I do. Reasons aren't important though, as long as your trust yourself." Ambrose pontificated.

"You're planning on being a bandit aren't you?" Amber accused without judgement. "That's why you want to be so close to a human settlement."

"I can do a lot of things on my own, but I can't grow ceylon tea. I'll live in the forest, I don't give a fuck, but I'm not going without tea. Same thing with barrels. You're going to want raincatchers, and stealing barrels will be much easier than trying to make them myself."

"Well, stealing tea is one thing, but I don't know how you're planning on sneaking barrels out of a wal-mart and then carrying them all the way through the forest on top of that?" Amber asked. "It doesn't sound much easier."

"Well, I'd probably be rolling the barrels, but yeah, I see what you mean." Ambrose conceded.

[Anonymous No.14346911]

>>14327639
It was never good

[Anonymous No.14347168]

>>14344821
Earthsea was good for three books, then it became misery porn where every character (even previously competent ones) turned into a drooling retard.

[Anonymous No.14347183]

>>14346911
>He's never read Peake

[Anonymous No.14347402]

>>14346803
VIII

To the closet to get dressed. To the computer to cancel his subscriptions. To the wealthiest neighbour to sell everything he would be abandoning. He'd already lived a spartan existence, but it was time to rid himself of the rest. It was all trash anyway. New-age fantasy novels and the like.

A backpack of barest essentials, weaponry slung over each of their shoulders (he had let her hold the bow). His pet cat locked up in a portable kennel, and off they went. Enough cash on hand for the trip into the woods and for their planned stop at a store before they left it all behind.

They walked and talked. "I know an elven wife is like striking gold, but even so, you seem to be walking away from your fellows extremely easily." Amber said.

"We're married huh? You have no idea how much damage that elfen idea has done to humans." Ambrose replied.

"Humans can't get married, well, except for you, I guess." Amber said, a statement in the tone of a question.

"They can't in your sense of the word, but that doesn't stop them from trying. The humans saw elves had a good system and just took it, they never asked themselves what would be good for them." Ambrose explained.

"How do humans get married if they don't have soulmates? You guys are basically animals right, there's nothing stopping you from having sex with whoever you want whenever you want?" Amber asked.

"No, we're worse than animals. A songbird sings the music of it's species for it's mate. The peacock shows it's feathers. Animals are much more capable of introspection that humans ever are. We've completely lost the way. You'll never see a dog adopt human mating methods to secure a partner, but you'll see humans steal elven mating rituals, even if it destroys them." Ambrose said.

"And now," Ambrose continued "we're way too far down the wrong path to ever find our way back. The church stole marriage from the elves and then the secular stole marriage from the churches and then the government came in on the action and now we've got the legislation of love, paperwork that needs to be filled out and stamped, it's-"

Amber had started snickering. "Yeah, precisely. Funny if it just weren't so sad." Ambrose finished.

Amber's voice adopted a fake tone of sweetness. "Well, honey, if it's important to you, I can subject myself to human mating rituals. I'll let the magistrate stamp my body so everyone knows it's official. Our unbreakable spiritual connection is meaningless unless I get my stamp."

He looked at her squarely. "You know what, let's do it." Ambrose said.

"I was just messing with you, I don't want whatever stupid stamp they have."

"I know, and now I'm going to go fuck with them. I want to see what they say when I ask them to marry a human and an elf." Ambrose said.

"Could be funny, I guess." Amber said. "I kind of want to see if everything you said is true anyway." They changed directions for the courthouse.

[Anonymous No.14347422]

>>14327639
There's literally nothing wrong with sexy elf wizards

[Anonymous No.14347426]

>>14347402
W-where will they stamp her body?

[Anonymous No.14347611]

>>14347402
I haven't read any of these, but you should keep going because OC is always nice.

[Anonymous No.14347661]

>>14327639
>Ugly Nerd calling other Nerds bigger Nerds.

:^)

[Anonymous No.14347675]

>>14327639
kantbot triggered by attractive wizards because he's a fat retard and it reminds him of >tfwnogf
what a pathetic loser

[Anonymous No.14347694]

>>14347402

The moat mermaid at the courthouse challenged them as they approached, and raised her trident. "No weapons allowed for those who've come to stand trial, unless you are accepting a trial by combat."

"We're just here to get married." Ambrose answered. "Oh, I see, that should be fine then." The mermaid said, relaxing, and backflipped into the moat as she flung her trident away. When she surfaced again, she held a sea shell that she promptly blew into like a flute. Ambrose heard nothing, but a moment later, the drawbridge came down.

"Mermaids have it easy." Amber complained. "Their tits will never sag so long as they live in water." Ambrose didn't say anything, but apparently he hadn't been the only one to notice her beautiful chest.

Ambrose lead her to the wall of quick access paperwork. Bail applications, small claims court applications, sphinx summonses and so on. He picked out a marriage application and Amber immediately snatched it away and studied it. Her grin grew wide as she read it. "You weren't kidding" she said with glee, "Previous marriages? What does that mean?"

"Humans get married more than once." Ambrose told her. "I can't believe this nonsense. You just leave this form to me, Ambrose." Amber said with mischievous eyes, as she grabbed a pen from a nearby desk and started scribbling rapidly on the form.

When she was done, she asked Ambrose what she had to do now, and he just pointed at the court clerk and said: "Take it to her." So Amber rushed over and Ambrose followed her to the clerk's window. She handed the clerk the form and said she wanted to get married.

The clerk took one glance and said: "This form is wrong, you didn't even put the groom's last name."

"Hold on, this was a test? If I got the answers wrong, I don't get to get married?" Amber asked.

"No, you can still get married, but you just have to fill out the form properly." The clerk answered.

"Well, what if I decided to get married without your permission?"

"You can't get married without a license."

"I'm already married though. Pieces of paper don't determine who's married or not." Amber countered.

"Then why are you filling out the license application?"

Amber ignored the question and suddenly pointed out at something on the clerk's desk. "Is that the stamp that marries people?" She asked.

"I guess" said the clerk, "it's the court seal." In a flash Amber seized the seal and stamped the piece of paper. "Aha! Now I'm married." She said victoriously. "Uh, I have to be the one who stamps the paper, it doesn't work like that." The clerk said.

The carefree joy from Amber's eyes evaporated in an instant and contempt appeared. "It really is exactly like he said." She said to no one in particular. She tossed the useless stamp on the floor and spun away from the clerk. "Let's go Ambrose."

"Hey, pick that up!" the clerk called after her angrily. Amber didn't turn around, she just stuck out her left hand and shot a fireball, incinerating the stamp.

[Anonymous No.14348515]

>>14347694

They crossed the moat once more. There, Amber asked: "What did you mean when you said marriage was destroying men? It's absurd, but it doesn't strike me as harmful."

"The symbol of love has superseded the sentiment itself. The stamp itself, the symbol, is all that's sought now. You had it right when you said the stamp meant nothing at all. The harm comes to humans who cannot tell the difference. They get their paperwork stamped, and think now they've found love. Really, all they got was a stamp and in all likelihood, ignored love itself in pursuit of the symbol of love." Ambrose spieled.

Amber remarked to her husband: "If you were a wizard, your official title would certainly Objectivus, or Ambrose the Objective, however they name their members these days. You seem to have a knack for true sight."

"Well, I don't have a knack for accepting compliments gracefully." Ambrose answered, as he took hold of Amber's hand. Their stride slowed a little. "I look forward to leaving names behind altogether. If we're the only two people around, names aren't really needed."

***

So they eventually came to the Wal-Mart. They were pretty laden down already, but they were missing a few items. An axe, a tarp, a strainer, plenty of rope. Ambrose hardly had any specific idea in mind what he was going to use the rope for, but he had a feeling he better have it for when he figured it out.

This time, there'd be no robbery. They had money on hand, pseuds today actually pay for second-hand contemporary fantasy novels when they should be buying only highly intellectual fantasy released before 1950. Besides, theft takes planning and Ambrose hadn't really had time to do that yet. He also needed to spend time in the woods to figure out what he can just make and what he really needs.

And so they went north into the forest. When they figured they were far enough away from humans, they set to work on their camp. They had deliberately selected a clearing so trees wouldn't impede their raincatching ability. The tarp went up, with the eventual plan to cut a hole in the center for rain to flow into a barrel set up underneath.

No barrel yet though, so for now it would be just keeping the rain off of the pair. Clothes came off too. No more human laws preventing them from being nude. The climate was warm enough to allow it. With so little items, the set-up didn't take long. The cat was let out of the cage finally, and Amber and Ambrose laid on the warm sunny meadow and fell asleep using eachother as a pillow.

[Anonymous No.14349917]

>>14327639
Loss of imagination due to modern civilization's infinite visual stimuli, art/creators being forced into obscurity (niches) by profit seeking "producers" who lack the ability to create anything do to their desire for profit.

[Anonymous No.14351092]

>>14347611
sometimes writing can be fun, at least.

[Anonymous No.14351097]

>>14329730
>>14329744
Kantbot never claimed to be alt-right and makes fun of them all the time.

[Anonymous No.14351102]

He can't stop being right

https://twitter.com/KANTBOT20K/status/1205875257405558784

[Anonymous No.14351115]

>>14351097
What does that have to do with anything?

[Anonymous No.14351141]

>>14351102
He’s literally never been wrong.

[Anonymous No.14351451]

>>14348515

X

The need for a shovel quickly became apparent. Their camp needed a latrine. Amber was willing to dig it, but not with her hands. The tarp showed it's own problems, it didn't take long for them to realize their raincatching tarp had taken away the beauty of their sunny meadow, making the grass a cold spot to sleep.

But getting rid of it wasn't ideal either, then they'd just get rained on as they slept. The MRE's weren't so great either, as Amber made very clear when she said she was never eating human garbage from a satchel ever again. Ambrose wasn't too particular about them, but the experience was definitely not improved by the fact they'd neglected certain tableware. A frying pan for the fire was useful, but you really did need plates too. Not just plates, but a table too, but at least he could build a dining table. And something would have to be done in advance of windy nights that would come, a shelter namely. A hoe for the planting of crops and he'd neglected to get seeds. Also Amber said she needed eggs of the Robins. So, Robins were on the list. Buckets too, a few of those would be needed for certain, Ambrose had never thought about just how useful buckets are before.

So the clothes went back on and they locked the cat back up before they left to keep it from roaming off until it learned where home was. As they approached the city again, they came upon a portly man standing next to a sign. It said that you had to pay admission for the gatekeeper to open the Vancouver city gate.

The man stepped in their path and held up his hand. "No entry through the gate unless you pay my fee." He said. His voice was not exactly one that engendered trust.

Amber deliberately stuck her head to the left and peered past the supposed gatekeeper and then said: "Where's the gate?"

"Amber, I want you to be careful what you say around him, haven't you ever heard the fairy tale of the gatekeeper?" Ambrose said in a tone of caution.

"As if a human could know anything about fairy tales, it's right in the name. Only fairies can ever understand their own tales." The gatekeeper interceded.

"So what's the story here?" Amber asked.

"Let's get out of earshot first." Ambrose said and they strolled on by the gatekeeper. Once far enough away, Ambrose explained it to her.

"Basically, he pissed off fairies, I think he tried to charge admission into beehives, so now he's stuck as a gatekeeper with no gate and the curse only gets lifted if he convinces someone to pay admission."

"So why couldn't you say that where he could hear?" Amber inquired.

"Enh, I don't remember that story all that well, sometimes curses don't go away, they just transfer endlessly to whoever is stupid enough to break it. Plus, I don't think there's anywhere that says admission has to be money, maybe telling a story is the admission."

[Anonymous No.14351528]

>>14351451
>Plus, I don't think there's anywhere that says admission has to be money, maybe telling a story is the admission.
Quality stuff.

[Anonymous No.14351961]

>>14351451

"Have you noticed it yet, Ambrose?" Amber asked.

"Could be, but I can't say for sure until I know what you're talking about specifically." Ambrose replied.

"If I explain it first, you'll just pretend it's what you thought all along so you can keep looking enigmatic and smart even if you had no idea." Amber accused.

"I wouldn't worry about it. We're on the same side. I'm not trying to make myself appear artificially smarter when it comes to you. Cats only puff up their hair to look bigger for their enemies, not their friends." Ambrose said.

"Fine then. In only about two days, we've seen the same riddle about a half-dozen times. Having to see through glass obscuring the true size of chicken strips, my crystal barrier, seeing your true identity, seeing the stamp for what it really was, the gatekeeper, and even that raincatching tarp you're obsessed with has the same solution." Amber rattled off quickly. "All we need to do is buy a tarp we can see through."

"I don't know what it means, if it even means anything at all, Amber." Ambrose admitted. Then he grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to face him. She loved his gentle strength. She'd had her share of tussles with the other elves, girls had no strength control. She'd noticed it right away since everyone had bullied her. The girls hit harder than the boys, every time. Had the strength of men failed? No, she knew they were stronger. They truly were eternally holding back. A built-in gentleness, and so even though she was being forced around, it felt as though she was being lead easily.

Anyway, he stared right into her eyes once more. "Amber eyes, not brown." He muttered.

"Yours too." She said.

"What else do you see?" Ambrose asked.

"My eyes, reflected in yours." Amber answered.

"Where do your fireballs come from?"

"I don't know what you mean." Amber answered, her eyes not wavering from his.

"Can you fire them with your eyes closed?" Ambrose asked.

"No, I wouldn't be able to see where I'm shooting."

Amber saw in his eyes that he was thinking hard. Then he said: "Better go with eyes closed then, sight hasn't mattered so far. Close your eyes and send a fireball."

"Don't be an idiot." Amber said. "If sight doesn't matter, that means just that. It'll work either way." He saw the fire form in their eyes.

>Fire is hot because the conversion of the double bond in molecular oxygen, but the bond energies of the fuel play only a minor role here. At a certain point in the combustion reaction, called the ignition point, flames are produced. The flame is the visible portion of the fire. If hot enough, the flame may become ionized to produce plasma. Depending on the substances alight, and any impurities outside, the colour of the flame and the fire's intensity will be different.

>The most feared form of fire is conflagration.

[Anonymous No.14352506]

>>14351528

[Anonymous No.14352689]

>>14351961

The streets of the city were engulfed, but they were unaffected, physically or emotionally. People were diving headlong into the harbour to escape the heat. They were a force of nature now, and good and evil were not their concern. They simply were.

Besides, the destruction they'd wrought was nothing to what was coming. It was clear they hadn't been selected alone. Soon, water would wash over the city. Out there in the depths somewhere, there was probably a mermaid and her human mate who had just figured out how to breathe underwater.

And beyond the sea, you could bet some sexy subterranean species had set off the quake that caused the imminent tsunami. The details were unimportant, they knew the truth and that's all that really mattered.

"Shame we never did get to the store." Amber said.

"Couldn't take anything back now anyway. We can teleport, but nothing else can." Ambrose replied. And so, once more they shed their clothes. They just left them on the ground where they fell, embraced eachother and vanished into flames.


.

[Anonymous No.14353428]

>>14351961
>>14352689

Well the last bit could have been better but I think I'm being pretty coherent for what is essentially all improv that I make up as I go along. I really was planning on making them just go to wal-mart to buy gardening tools but they ending up destroying Vancouver instead. Probably not all of it or something, we'll see. I couldn't believe it that immediately after writing that their eye magic or whatever cause a flame conflagration, I googled vancouver fires to get some idea of what a fire in that town would look like only to find that news article mentioning Vancouver was actually once destroyed by conflagration.

[Anonymous No.14353583]

>>14352689

So things were always humming along at the couple's camp. After the disastrous happenstance of their first shopping trip, they decided a shrine would be the best solution to their problems. Of course, they were too inept to build a true concrete shrine.

They settled for an eternal flame they started on an unscathed portion of grass. Plenty of activity still carried on in Vancouver with the reconstruction and all. Enough that their offerings were always met. The deal was, Vancouverites kept the fire burning and fulfilled any requests of the fire couple and the rebuilt city would be under their protection. From fire-related incidents at least.

Their camp had a wooden table and plates now, and their clear tarp with the hole cut in the center and the barrel even to trap rainwater even. Chairs to sit on, a small patch of yams and other plants growing. Ambrose insisted on the yams. A few self-sufficient amenities, and being in tune with nature was important for them, but many things were delivered by the Vancouverites. Well, Vancouverite. They didn't want humans tramping through their camp or too many people to know their location. So this man called Ash became their servant-courier.


Ambrose still couldn't shoot fireballs, but he hadn't remained powerless. A sort of antithesis to Amber's offensive potential, a built in safety feature. One fire demon could go crazy, but two probably won't. Ambrose couldn't shoot fire, but he couldn't be burned either. The elfen death duality meant that even if she did find a way to harm him, it'd end her life at the same time.

Ambrose wondered what sort of power balances the other elemental couples had, but he doubted he would meet them. Earth, perhaps, but certainly not water. Just like Amber and Ambrose kept eachother in check, so did the elements against each couple in an elaborate game of rock-paper-scissors that ensured no one side would be kerplunking any other. Probably outcasts just like them. Without allegiance to their race, they could be counted on to rise above tribal nonsense.

"Hey Amber, you ever played Ker-Plunk?" Ambrose called out suddenly. Amber was diligently arranging grass into two more, smaller beds. Seemed a bit early to Ambrose, but maybe elven pregnancy wasn't as long as human.

"No, I haven't played whatever that is." Amber answered. Ambrose'd have to ask Ash to bring them one, if Vancouver even had such baubles anymore. They could play it in the hot tub, his and Amber's favourite amenity of the camp. The power of fire made it easy to heat water up for baths.

It was a pretty idyllic life, until Amber walked up to him and told him she could hear them coming.

"Who?"

"The Elves. Better let me do the talking." Amber said.

[Anonymous No.14353898]

>>14327639
>downhill
Jack Vance, Gene Wolfe, Dave Duncan, Glen Cook...

[Anonymous No.14353913]

>>14329822
The Once and Future King by White
The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Stroud

henry potters and the philodendron stoner by JK Buddy

[Anonymous No.14353994]

>>14327649
I saw a video of him and Sam hyde talking, looked like he was trying to portray himself and some kind of philosopher while really just moaning about libtards while being hard to look at and chain smoking cigs.

The right wing Twitter world is cancer

Although this particular tweet is correct.

[Anonymous No.14354229]

>>14353583

It took a bit for them to appear, Amber's hearing had sensed them far out. Ambrose watched as the cat was second to detect the imminent visitors and conceal itself. Finally, he heard them too, practically synonymous with their appearance. He held his shotgun ready. Just before they stepped out of the trees, a flute began to play.

What appeared out of the woods wasn't a military unit. It was a band, almost all of them equipped with some sort of musical instrument. Ahead of them strode a single elf, the lead singer, presumably. The concert was on.

>As the tide whispers of unspoken stories

>Of two lovers from an ancient realm

>Who have bent the rules and broken spells

>And changed the world of men

>Two free souls who dreamt they could escape

>All norms and codes that they could not obey

>Other folks would mock their different heart

>And let them go astray

>Green were the meadows, the forests

>But the oceans carried a greater promise

>As they showed that all love doesn't fall from above

>But is found like comfort in a storm

>But their magic wasn't meant to last

>Vile envy lurking every now and then

>As they burnt too bright and burnt too fast

>In the eyes of other men

>Soon the grave for these beautiful minds

>All the folks would talk as now are gone

>The last ones of their kind

Then the band went back the way the came, vanishing from human ears almost immediately.

"Not exactly how I thought they were going to threaten us." Amber said idly. "Catchy prophecy, though."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBq350KUJT4

[Anonymous No.14354594]

>>14329662
Someone will, but that's not the fantasy I'm interested in

[Anonymous No.14354608]

>>14329662
Sounds static.

[Anonymous No.14354651]

>>14327654
Okay Jocko

[Anonymous No.14355094]

>>14327659
sure, right in that he has the most basic opinion and anyone who has actually read the classic books in the genre already knows this.
Who gives a fuck what popcorn shit zoomers are into?

[Anonymous No.14355122]

>>14341165
Read conan or elric. They're episodic like early witcher but better imo

[Anonymous No.14355163]

>>14327639
Tolkien set the bar to high.

[Anonymous No.14355292]

>>14355163
Less this and more so he inadvertently created a fantasy template people arent willing to move away from. Same thing is happening now with GoT knock-offs

[Anonymous No.14355810]

Read bakker for chad magic

[Anonymous No.14355823]

fantasy always shit and a place for hacks to make a quick buck

[Anonymous No.14356123]

>>14327639
Based. /sffg/ btfo eternally.

[Anonymous No.14356183]

>>14338044
kevin smith did the same nerdom schtick in the 90´s, i think it only hit it mainstream when the avengers came out in 2012

[Anonymous No.14356203]

>>14353994
>I saw a video of him and Sam hyde talking

where can i see that?

[Anonymous No.14357449]

>>14347183
Peake is more boring than your mother was.

[Anonymous No.14358454]

>>14355823
Top level fantasy is the master genre

[Anonymous No.14358461]

>>14327639
>nerds have completely ruined fantasy
>NOT THE FUCKING THOTS INVADING
HOLY FUCK I'M SO FUCKING MAD

[Anonymous No.14358464]

>>14332162
>elf porn is the greatest evolution of art
I mean... it is.

[Anonymous No.14358466]

>>14333440
You have shamed me with your talent, good sir. Please carry on.

[Anonymous No.14358480]

Does this dumb fucking moron not realize the pattern yet?

>Nerdy hobby.
>Doesn't make bank, so girls ignore it.
>Girls ignore it, so nerds are bullied.
>Nerds have no society, so they build their hobby.
>Suddenly makes bank.
>2007 you get the big bang theory.
>Girls interested because money is involved now.
>Jocks follow girls.
>"Dude I'm so nerdy look at me. xD"
>"Okay, loooook, this hobby needs to change because my vagina is here."
>whiteknight galore
>Nerds are the enemy again, but this time deprived of their hobby.
I want to stab this fucker in the balls.
The problem is not the fucking nerds.

[Anonymous No.14358488]

>>14358480
You think sexy elf women and things like that pervade fantasy because women demanded it?

[Anonymous No.14358492]

>>14358488
Yes, it's part of the double-standard women enjoy. Just look at boddice-rippers, and then how women complain about their portrayal in media.

[Anonymous No.14358501]

>>14358492
Interesting. How can we fight this scourge?

[Anonymous No.14358518]

>>14329662
No, I don't give a shit. I'd rather read about the same, but about IRL

[Anonymous No.14358527]

>>14358501
Stop inviting them. Nerds need to realize women do not give a shit about them, and will immediately burn them the second they can make a buck on it.

[Anonymous No.14358537]

>>14358501
Under no circumstances will a woman tolerate a gathering of men without interrupting it or controlling it. It's practically built into their genetics to cause shit. The only solution is to bar them entry and increase exclusivity.

[Anonymous No.14358542]

>>14353994
Sounds like you're just an anal devastated cuck.

[Anonymous No.14358598]

>>14353994
He constantly shits on conservatives. He's said many times he's just a wild revolutionary... he only sides with the alt-right because they're the biggest rabble rousers against the establishment. In an other era when the left was counter culture he probably would've sided with the hippies or anti-Vietnam war extremists.

[Anonymous No.14358609]

>>14358598
Post evidence that he’s said anything to that effect. I’m familiar with a lot of his stuff and never seen him portray himself as just in it for the chaos. I’d respect him more if he were.

[Anonymous No.14358649]

>>14358480
>>14358501
>>14358527
>Stop inviting them.
>The only solution is to bar them entry and increase exclusivity.

Gatekeeping is a good thing

This is where 4chan can shine.
I'm sure there are females on this board but they don't bring attention to the fact.
We need to promote quality fantasy, and more obscure or underappreciated works

[Anonymous No.14359111]

>>14358649
>>14358537
>>14358501
>>14358480
>>14358461

maybe you should charge admission into beehives

[Anonymous No.14359280]

There's a weird obsession with worldbuilding. Any author that consciously worldbuilds is shit.

[Anonymous No.14359329]

>>14332162
gerudo link is humanities highest achievement

[Anonymous No.14359331]

>>14359280
It's just cope, they can't write interesting stories so they try to make interesting worlds. Cart before the horse situation really since interesting worlds have interesting events taking place in them.

[Anonymous No.14359351]

>>14334791
>>14338543
>pot calling the kettle cookware

[Anonymous No.14360505]

>>14333480
Who's that handsome devil?

[Anonymous No.14360733]

>>14344252
shhh. you dont want to let them realize they are imps that think theyre shoggoths

[Anonymous No.14360818]

>>14353994
>right wing Twitter world is cancer
>implying kantbot is right wing

Nice blanket statement there, retard.

>>14356203
It is exactly as that anon described. They just sit on a truckbed at some public park and awkwardly talk about old work and college stories.

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=ILTR3DKFfws

[Anonymous No.14360824]

>>14360505
That portly boi is kantbot. Read the thread, goober.

[Anonymous No.14360827]

>>14327639
>DURR WHY IS 'X' SO 'Y' NOW

every fucking time

[Anonymous No.14361941]

Kantcucks = cringe

Ambrose/Amber = based

[Anonymous No.14362441]

Coomers ruin everything