/lit/ humour thread

[Anonymous No.13847904]

[Anonymous No.13847934]

Lmao you pathetic pseuds never fail to make me laugh with your "lit humour" threads

face it, most women will be infinitely more successful than any of you sad virgins ever will be. You are on the wrong side of philosophy, get over it losers

[Anonymous No.13847937]

>>13847934
What's your problem?

[Anonymous No.13847952]

>>13847934
kek good one

[Anonymous No.13847960]

[Anonymous No.13847974]

>>13847934
Who hurt you sweetie

[Anonymous No.13847983]

There he is. There he goes again
Look everyone he posted it once again. Isn't he just the funniest guy around. Oh my god.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room giggling like a little girl as you once again type your Guenon thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha, maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass so you just choose the picture. Oh we all know the picture, the uh tradcuck with an elongated face isn’t it? I imagine you, little shit, laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos onto the floor. But its ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh that’s right, did I fail to mention? You live with your mother! You’re a fat fucking fuck up and she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all god damn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about obscure literature. Just imagine this, she had you and then she thought you were going to be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Guenonposting NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even talk try to you because all you say is “Was it autism” or ”become trad”.
You became a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now.
And that’s all you’ll ever be.

[Anonymous No.13847995]

>>13847934
First post cringe post

[Anonymous No.13848095]

>>13847934
How do I UpYikes this post?

[Anonymous No.13848117]

>>13847934
Ok but y r u mad

shouldn’t you be more sympathetic to us intelligent suave sophisticated naturally oily soft skinned big dicked from honorable ancestry made psychopaths by a century of world wars with standards when it comes to women? Jeez

[Anonymous No.13848132]

>>13847934
based

[Anonymous No.13848282]

>>13847904
Ultimate trolley problem

[Anonymous No.13848324]

>>13848282

[Anonymous No.13848451]

[Anonymous No.13848492]

>>13847934
kek
fpbp

[Anonymous No.13848689]

[Anonymous No.13848698]

>>13847904

[Anonymous !P45fr4QSwk No.13848768]

>>13848698
Just claim you’re from a different country and they’re racist trump supporters

[Anonymous No.13848774]

[Anonymous No.13848776]

>>13847934
Bro shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.13848784]

Peak /fitlit/

[Anonymous No.13848797]

Best ever post on /lit/, eternally BTFO STEMfags

[Anonymous No.13848805]

>>13847934
>never fail to make me laugh
that's the point

[Anonymous No.13848815]

>>13848698
I once read a facebook meme to the effect of "Never judge someone who mispronounces a word; it means they learned it from reading"

...based or p'seud?

[Anonymous No.13848830]

>>13848815
kinda based but if you said it to me in real life I'd call you a pasood

[Anonymous No.13849186]

[Anonymous No.13849320]

>tfw it's true
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJZvjTa5sKY

[Anonymous No.13849348]

>>13848830
Kek

[Anonymous No.13849384]

>>13847934
Based.

[Anonymous No.13849399]

>>13848698
its silly though because in Greek it is pronounced with the psi.

[Anonymous No.13849426]

>>13848698
The irony gave me quite the chuckle

[Anonymous No.13849970]

>>13847934
Are you a leaf?

[Anonymous No.13849993]

[Anonymous No.13850022]

>>13848698
Ahahaha, reminds me of this one which is also a fav

[Anonymous No.13850043]

>>13848774
I'll admit its impressive that it went on so long, but the only really quality movie to come out of it was infinity war.

[Anonymous No.13850053]

>>13847983
It's been a while since I last saw this pasta.

[Anonymous No.13850067]

[Anonymous No.13850071]

>>13849186
Absolutely based

[Anonymous No.13850110]

>>13850067
I love this so much, thank you.

[Anonymous No.13850153]

>>13848698
>>13850022

I hope these aren’t real

[Anonymous No.13850209]

>>13847960
What is this image from?

[Anonymous No.13850334]

A marxist post-structuralist continental Ecole Normale Supérieure professor and feminist activist was teaching a class on Martin Heidegger, known hermeneuticist.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nietzsche and accept that his genealogical method was the most highly-evolved theory the continent has ever known, even greater than Hegel's dialectics!”
At this moment, a brave, rational, positivist analytic philosopher who had read more than 15000 pages of Popper and Wittgenstein and understood the raison d'être of empiricism and fully supported all modern hard sciences stood up and held up the constitution.
”How universal is this text, frenchfag?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It's not universal at all, fucking positivist, its 'truth' is rooted in our shared understandings about culture, the subject and the nexus of power and knowledge”
”Wrong. It’s been 225 years since human reason created it. If it was not universal, and post-modern relativism, as you say, is real… then it should be regarded as a myth now”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting. He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it!
The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named “Formal logic” flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principia Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.

[Anonymous No.13850344]

A dualist Plato scholar philosophy professor and designer of hydroelectric power stations was teaching a class on René Descartes, known metaphysician. ”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Descartes and accept that his "cogito ergo sum" is the most self-evident idea in the history of humanity, even more evident than "panta rei"!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, deep ecologist Heideggerian traditional farmer who had written over 1500 papers on the ontological difference and understood the necessity of a new German beginning for western philosophy and fully supported all hermeneutization of ontology spoke:

”What is that by terms of which this rock can be said to exist, pinhead?” he said in a 19th century rural dialect of German

The arrogant professor smirked quite modernly and smugly replied, “Matter, you stupid postmodernist.”

”Wrong. Matter is just an a posteriori theoretical understanding of reality. If its Being, as you say, is a metaphysical substance… then its Being is a being.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Discourse on the Method. He stormed out of the room crying those dualist crocodile tears. The same tears modernists cry for the “res cogitans” when they jealously try to claw wonder from the world by making it a standing-reserve of resources. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Aristotle Spinoza, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an inauthentic nihilist. He wished so much that he could experience aletheia, but he himself had created metaphysical cages that prevented Being from showing itself!

The students applauded and all enrolled in the University of Freiburg that day and accepted historicity and finitude as the defining characteristics of human existence. An eagle named “Ereignis” flew into the room and perched atop the portrait of Franz Brentano and shed a tear on the chalk. Sein und Zeit was read several times, and Being itself was disclosed and propagated authenticity and existential dread throughout the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died after being ran over by a motorized fleet of agricultural machinery and nothing happened to him after that because being-towards-death is a condition of possibility for experience.

[Anonymous No.13850358]

A god-fearing natural law theorist professor and lawyer for a conservative think tank was teaching a class on Aquinas, known crypto-theist. "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the LORD Jesus Christ and accept that Saint Thomas Aquinas was the finest legal mind ever."

At this moment, a suave, cool, turtle-neck-draped critical legal theorist with a beret and a rockin' beard who had written over 1500 papers on the sociological foundations of legal systems and their relation to inherent power structures in society spoke:

"If God is the one who establishes the correctness of law, then who elected God? I didn't vote for him."

The arrogant lawyer smirked quite conservatively and smugly replied, “You don't vote for god, you godless communist."

"Then your God doesn't derive his sovereignty from the will of the governed, and is thus a tyrannical dictator, meaning according your own creation myth, Lucifer was correct to rebel and overthrow him. QED, we should all worship Satan."

The lawyer was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Summa Theologica. He stormed out of the room crying those theist crocodile tears. The same tears conservatives cry for the regressive and bigoted laws that are used to instill false consciousness in the working classes.

There is no doubt that at this point our lawyer was so shaken in his faith that he realized he spent his life chasing a fairy tale when he could have been out there dismantling the patriarchal systems of oppression that continue to empower religious and political institutions that have outlived their benefit to mankind.

The students applauded and all went out and bought every book ever written by a member of the Frankfurt School and joined the Communist Party. An eagle named "Zionist Conspiracy to Undermine the Western Nuclear Family" flew into the room and perched atop the portrait of Theodor Adorno and shed a tear on the chalk. MacKinnon's "Feminism Unmodified" was read several times, and every student decided that say to be gender-non-conforming as a radical way to tear down the structures of oppression present in the university setting.

The lawyer was promptly disbarred for being illogical and a theist, and was forced to live out his days ekeing out a living making the conservative talk radio circuit and selling books about how homosexuals and Muslims were in an alliance with lizards from Mars to kill all the white men.

[Anonymous No.13850367]

>>13848282
>Ultimate trolley problem
>has no reference to Terry
What did he mean by this?

[Anonymous No.13850385]

>>13848698
>be me
>be in German class
>conversation steers towards familiar territory
>I reference Goethe
>teacher makes fun of me for wildly mispronouncing his name
>the whole class laughs at me
>not a single one of those fucks had ever heard of Goethe before that moment
>TFW

[Anonymous No.13850466]

>>13847952
Who's that?

[Anonymous No.13850471]

>>13848784
While a lot of people have been shit to him and taken advantage of him, I'm still glad he has people he gets to be around and enjoys being around.

[Anonymous No.13850533]

>>13848451
based beyond belief

[Anonymous No.13850577]

>>13850466
The eternal Anglo.

[Anonymous No.13850626]

>>13848282
Can someone explain which all of these panels are referencing?

t. Brainlet

[Anonymous No.13850642]

>>13850626
First is Plato, second is Descarte, third is just Math I guess, fourth is Rawls, fifth I don't know, and sixth is the ship of Theseus.

[Anonymous No.13850694]

>>13850642
Mah man

[Anonymous No.13850704]

>>13849993

[Anonymous No.13850709]

[Anonymous No.13850725]

>>13850385
GÖÖrh-te

[Anonymous No.13850748]

>>13848768
Haha kek yes

[Anonymous No.13850751]

>>13850110
This is maybe my favorite 4chan post of all time

[Anonymous No.13850772]

>>13849993

[Anonymous No.13850846]

>>13850642
third is the fucking zeno's paradox and fifth is the chinese room thought experiment
please stop posting

[Anonymous No.13850856]

[Anonymous No.13850857]

[Anonymous No.13850860]

[Anonymous No.13851349]

[Anonymous No.13851388]

[Anonymous No.13851501]

>>13850385
>mfw I pronounce it gowthe unapologetically

we're speaking English after all. the pronunciation hardly makes sense in German. From what I understand it should be something like goy-tuh not ger-ter

[Anonymous No.13851665]

>>13851501
No “Ger-ter” does align with the German rules of pronunciation. Unlike some English, German is rigorous in its pronunciation rules and basically never has “exceptions” like English does

[Anonymous No.13851797]

>>13847904
>get over it losers
Nice tell, you're glowing.

>>13848784
>Peak /fitlit/
It's sick, it's piss.

[Anonymous No.13851833]

>>13851349
Unlimited keks

[Anonymous No.13851840]

>>13851501
>>13851665

[Anonymous No.13851860]

>>13851665
shut the fuck up retard

[Anonymous No.13851863]

>>13847934
philosophy doesn't have sides you gigadumb

[Anonymous No.13851876]

>>13848451
I wonder if there will come a day when I will not laugh out loud reading this.

[Anonymous No.13851883]

>>13851501
>the pronunciation hardly makes sense in German
What do you mean, of course it does. It's pronounced exactly as it is written in German.

[Anonymous No.13851899]

>>13850857
is the red arrow really necessary?

[Anonymous No.13852026]

>>13848774
this is an accurate statement if taken in a meta sense

[Anonymous No.13852037]

>>13851883
english people who think they are saying it right say GER-TER

that is not in line with german phonology

[Anonymous No.13852049]

>>13851899
how else would you know the order to read them?

[Anonymous No.13852063]

>>13847934
(You)

[Anonymous No.13852069]

[Anonymous No.13852073]

>>13847952
Based Mosley don't listen to the buttblasted mainlander

[Anonymous No.13852150]

[Anonymous No.13852158]

does anyone have that one nausea meme with a stick figure looking at a tree and saying 'woah'?

[Anonymous No.13852166]

>>13851388
Gregory berrycone was a character in the Complete works of God 2 - the failed /lit/ collaboration from last year

[Anonymous No.13852176]

>>13852150
This is why I'm alone.

[Anonymous No.13852181]

>>13852150
>worst hour in /lit/ history (so far)
not humourous

[Anonymous No.13852198]

>>13852150
Well, at least she is back on youtube making videos. Hopefully she has grown a thicker skin.

[Anonymous No.13852204]

>>13848797
>forty thousand pages of Marx being wrong on the nature of nature
thanks

[Anonymous No.13852249]

>>13852049
That's fair. I myself najapese, we read bottom to top.

[Anonymous No.13852257]

>>13848797
how the FUCK does one study the "nature of nature"?

[Anonymous No.13852278]

>>13850067
This was good anon.

[Anonymous No.13852321]

>>13852257
Philosophy retard

[Anonymous No.13852371]

>>13852198
>Hopefully she has grown a thicker skin
AAAAH I got that one, hope she still has her ''skin" intact.

[Anonymous No.13852375]

[Anonymous No.13852434]

>>13852375
>Its just 400 Pages with big print saying "Black People," what gives?

[Anonymous No.13852460]

>>13852321
question begging. philosophy is the study of the nature of nature. But HOW does one do it?

[Anonymous No.13852480]

>>13852460
Well I suppose you could study the philosophy of those that have already tried, but to do it yourself would need a more general study, of the world and all things therein, a great intellect, and a drive autistic to behold.

[Anonymous No.13852490]

>>13848282
kek

[Anonymous No.13852495]

>>13852480
>Well I suppose you could study the philosophy of those that have already tried
And how did they do it?
>but to do it yourself would need a more general study, of the world and all things therein
Isn't that what science does?

[Anonymous No.13852510]

>>13850067
Actually pretty accurate lol

[Anonymous No.13852526]

>>13852495
I'm not sure, I can guess how they did it; I've only just started my philosophy class and school, and outside of that I have limited knowledge. They look at some problem, usually out of science - but can still be included - and ask a question. For example, what is a human? Certainly there is a scientific answer, but there is much more to a Human than genetics and dna, wouldn't you say? Science and Philosophy are very closely linked sometimes (There is after all an entire branch of Philosophy called the Philosophy of science) so one would serve the other.
You can approach a moral or anything really inquisitively and it can be philosophy, in a sense.

[Anonymous No.13852554]

>>13852495
You use logical reasoning and work from what you know to be true to find other truths. These are actual truths. Science doesn't give you truths, it uses empirical methods to find high probabilities of truths, but they still aren't truths. Even if you do an experiment 99999999 times and get the same result each time, it doesn't mean there is a causal relationship, it only means there is a 99.999999% chance of there being one. In the same way, just because the sun has risen every day in the past doesn't mean it will rise tomorrow - it is just very likely. Philosophy attempts to find actual truths that cant be refuted, or at least this is a significant part of philosophy.

[Anonymous No.13852571]

>>13852150
tragically, like all women, she is a whore

[Anonymous No.13852593]

>>13852571
maybe she's just too innocent to know any better

[Anonymous No.13852611]

>>13852593
nah, that image is post /lit/-bullying. /lit/ fucked her up and turned her into a whore. she was once as pure as untrodden snow on a virgin peak

[Anonymous No.13853254]

>>13852611
Evidence of her becoming a hoe?
Would like to know more

[Anonymous No.13853409]

[Anonymous No.13853418]

[Anonymous No.13853431]

[Anonymous No.13853441]