/WMG/ Write what's on your mind general: meta edition

[Anonymous No.13423271]

[Anonymous No.13423277]

What are you all listening to lately?
I'm going through the grunge backlog myself, any obscure bands you might overlook?

[Anonymous No.13423461]

Had a bit of a disturbing moment in the shower. Thought about what it would be like to commit a terrorist attack, tried to get into that mindset. Found it was quite easy for me to get into that headspace. Started thinking about the kind of manifesto I would write if I did such a thing. It would be so easy to implicate people completely unconnected to the attack by claiming to be inspired by them. Don't want to share this in a non anonymous way

[Anonymous No.13423561]

The writer lives in a constant state of paradox. It is his job to tell a narrative through words, developing both an attention-grabbing storyline and profound moral lesson, yet he must do so by grabbing at his own emotions. This unique relation makes writing an incredibly easy task for the unexperienced: simply splatter either morals or a story onto a piece of paper. However, the former always turns out incoherent while the latter turns out shallow. For true writers, the kind that seek to create a story that can change lives, he must find a way to have both in unison. He must either write a story to fit his morals, or find a moral to fit his story. It sounds simple, yet any person who tries to achieve this state of harmony can vouch for how difficult it is. The writer spends weeks getting his twisted thoughts onto the paper in a straight fashion, and then he rereads it to find it awful. It's melodramatic, it's paced poorly, it's boring, and it's pointless. He then tries again. Sometimes he goes back and tries to change the mistakes he found, and other times he starts over again. He tries to improve on his pacing and dry writing, and it gets marginally better. Then he tries again, and again, and again. He soon learns that writing is solving an equation with a million different variables, none of which can be "right" or "wrong". It is not just a balance between morals and a storyline, it is a balance between morals and story and characters and pattern and prophecy and prose and logic and everything else, all adding up to a single answer different for each reader: bad, good, or anywhere inbetween. There is no writer's paradox, because that would imply fixing a bad story is impossible. It is hard, but possible. He must find the balance in his writing that achieves a "good" end result. Sometimes, when you focus on one aspect or ignore an aspect too much, it becomes impossible to write a widely pleasurable read. You guessed and checked the equation, but it turned out wrong. So erase and try again. Find the answer that is good enough for you.

[Anonymous No.13423562]

>>13423561
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXYdE6eOWNY

[Anonymous No.13423586]

>>13423271
I can't tell if philosophy and reason is inherently doomed. The short term gains of sexual perversion can't be that life encompassing. It's certainly a short term fill of "enlightenment" even if the fetish remains. I'd prefer if philosophy was banned in the states so everyone could live like pervy, smarmy, ignorant animals who scoff at everyone not in their game much as a child does his rubish parents.
I'm stuck between people are absolutely fucked and retarded and have way more problems than I've imagined for them or humanity is just retarded. I see no way out but I'll play along until they find some new reason to hate people. Another recession is on the way - we will find out what happens next.
Pic related

[Anonymous No.13423590]

>>13423277
Trying to get back into 90s alternative, haven't heard grunge in a minute

>>13423461
Would it be symbolic of anything? (Lying or not)

[Anonymous No.13423591]

>>13423586
Humanity has always been retarded, it's just that idiots are able to speak freely on the megaphone of social media nowadays and get approval from other idiots.

[Anonymous No.13423606]

>>13423591
I think the issue is biological. Humans prefer what feels right in late cycle civilization because that's all they know. I hate social media

[Anonymous No.13423609]

>>13423590
Symbolic as in a Jungian sense?

[Anonymous No.13423625]

>>13423609
Yeah that's fine. I mean would you attach some extrinsic issue to it a la Kaczynski

[Anonymous No.13423630]

I tried sharing work in a crit thread. I was told it was mediocre in quality (about what I had expected) but more importantly the consensus was that it was BORING. The subject matter at hand wasn’t inherently uninteresting, but I somehow managed to make it a pitiful little romp of ~500 words in which nothing really happens. I think it’s because my life’s boring. I’m not some literary genius who can write abstract concepts, so I’m forced to stick with what I know. But what I know is so uninteresting and uninspired I think I’m better of not writing. I think it’s for the best.

[Anonymous No.13423648]

>>13423606
Perhaps, modern society isn't very well suited for human biology. But I think like everything else, we tend to overdramatize things we live through. Nobody ever wrote grand poems about the idiots who believed in frog juice extending life or the nobodies who just worked everyday and did what they were told. They wrote poems about the great plague's horrors and the brilliant minds of their time.

[Anonymous No.13423656]

>>13423625
The issue that really got me riled up was the way global capital erodes authentic relationships through commodification and deterritorialization. Mainly through the means of market pressure and marketing. The problem is rootless, cosmopolitan capitalists who are the subjects of intense, perverse incentives to destroy an organic social fabric of a Nation because it might pose a threat to quarterly profits. There's a lot more to the issue but basically the main agents of this process (at least in the West) are the Jews and attacking them would most efficiently damage the whole system. I don't know if that's true or not, but it seems to make a lot of intuitive sense to me

[Anonymous No.13423662]

>>13423656
>>>/pol/

[Anonymous No.13423669]

>>13423630
Nah bro, go struggle at something and drop acid you'll be fine.
Not all writers need to be abstract, just readable. Find a subject that gets your juices flowing and dive into it and just keep following your path.

>>13423648
I agree just the grain of truth underlies the issue and what happens next is, of course, building upon that. That and you can't forget people are evil after they flippantly became evil. You can only shrug and pretend you were in on it all along. I'm sure Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, Dpinoza et co. felt entirely athome with, attemptedly, being lynched by an insane bloodthirsty mob. Not everyone gets that experience although they certainly should, and quite a bit more.

[Anonymous No.13423675]

>>13423630
Post it. I'm a failure-in-progress myself, maybe we can wallow in pain together.

[Anonymous No.13423681]

>>13423662
Fuck off faggot, you're a boring trite person. People have interesting opinions outside of bhad bhabie music videos. Go fuck off with your John Green.

>>13423656
Yeah if it tickles your pickle do your thing but don't worry too much about it because it won't change a damned thing. Your allies will drop you for convenience sakes (internally and externally). I'd try philosophy and see if you can try from the outside. 99.999999% are pure NPCs so don't expect them to anything good or decent in any "hard" situation as you will be heavily disappointed in the result.

[Anonymous No.13423701]

>>13423681
I try to not care as much as I do, but that feels so soul crushing. The vast majority of people simply don't care about the things I do and while I don't think that should be the case, I can accept it. I just wish I could be left alone. Might as well go just be a tranner at this point, there's not future for this society so what's the point in investing any effort in keeping it running. Might as well have some fun before I kill myself, certainly not going to bring a child into this world

[Anonymous No.13423705]

>>13423701
Wats a tranner?

[Anonymous No.13423712]

>>13423701
>certainly not going to bring a child into this world
If you haven't read the New Testament then please do so and then re-evaulate this decision. I had the desire to get married after studying Christianity and my daughter changed my life. I don't think you're as alone as you think, and I want you to succeed and contribute to good in the world.

[Anonymous No.13423713]

>>13423681
>I'm boring for not believing in jews pushing dehumanization and doing whatever it takes to make a profit
I'm not even sure whether he meant actual jews or just greedy moneybags in general, but the whole idea of "lmao fuck the capitalists who capitalize on our misfortune" is childish banter only stated by people who are unaware of how society works.

Yes, capitalism results in people doing shady things to achieve more capital. It's in the name. It also been this way since the beginning of time. The mongols slaughter Chinese to make themselves rulers of a new dynasty. Kings of Europe fight over land and resources and implant themselves as rulers in Congo to farm rubber at the cost of millions and millions of lives.

Killing the "Jews" has no effect. You are suggesting that the average person would not dehumanize workers and try to make billions. If you think you're different somehow, then the person next to you probably won't be, nor your children. Capitalism is inevitable, and so unalienable protections need to be put in place. Communism hasn't worked since it's just capitalism placed in the hands of the government. "Real" communism would be unfeasible. If there's no incentive, there's no boss. If there's no boss, nobody will get shit done. If there's no good incentive, bosses will all be shit and the meritocracy will never bring good individuals to the top.

And apart from that, he seems to be sad about capitalism resulting in dehumanization and shallow relationships. I think he's mistaken his social ineptitude for capitalism. Real, meaningful relationships require you to go out and meet people of similar interests and thoughts. I'm sure he could find a ted kacynski fan group if he tried.

[Anonymous No.13423714]

>>13423705
A person who takes cross sex hormones and lives as the opposite gender? You know, a *transexual*

[Anonymous No.13423719]

>>13423712
Read through it multiple times, even a little in the original Greek. It's all bullshit. Jewish narcissism writ large. Utter tripe and a waste of all mental efforts. Moloch, and Yahweh, and Enlil. Oppressors of humanity. I'm glad none of it's true

[Anonymous No.13423726]

>>13423719
What do you consider not bullshit?

[Anonymous No.13423730]

>>13423726
Capital T Nature, the Pandeus

[Anonymous No.13423736]

>>13423714
Do it and post pics perv

[Anonymous No.13423742]

I think I'm becoming a conservative with time, I'm watching videos about formalism, absolutism and such, but I'm not sold on it 100% yet.
I personally believe more and more that we need to push society to become some sort of tribal system where people get to pick a community they would enjoy being part of and give their lives to said community (obviously in a symbiotic way). Communities expectations make you someone useful too. A system that takes some stuff from Confucianism and Modern Technology, however this would be some chaotic form of anarchism and the state would work.

Anyways, I do believe we need to get as far away from whatever the fuck we have now. It's not even late capitalism, since it has become more self-destructive, it's even more disgusting.

[Anonymous No.13423743]

>>13423713
That's a good response, I agree

[Anonymous No.13423744]

Donald Trump is a pedophile.

[Anonymous No.13423760]

>>13423730
Capital N rather, mixed some metaphors up in my head

[Anonymous No.13423796]

>>13423277
gives us a rec lad

[Anonymous No.13423809]

>>13423277
listening to Miles Davis rn because it's late and I'm winding down for the night. I've been really irirtated with myself lately for not making progress on Jung's Man And His Symbols, been watching anime and learning calculus.
At least I'm reading more now that it's summer. I read through Ligotti's CATHR

[Anonymous No.13424564]

>>13423271
you kamikaze into my soul

floating embers
blind my eyes
who are you?
why did you rape my mind
through visions of echoes
inside glowing squares

suddenly lonely
mysteries call me

but i am unable to move
a stricken tree
leaves fall off
no fruit were ever borne
bark subsumes to flame
toppled civilizations sparkle
in the quiet of a gasp

i kamikaze into your soul

[Anonymous No.13424641]

>>13423271
I am adverse to the movement and giving these threads a /general/ tag. I think they should just keep being posted as an OP with only "Write what's on your mind."

[Anonymous No.13424755]

>>13423271
White Male General?

[Anonymous No.13424768]

I've spent my life in pursuit of truth only to realise people aren't as interested in truth as they are happiness and pragmatism.

[Anonymous No.13424776]

> six months until cyberpunk
Will 2010's be seen as an extension of 2000's or a separate era?

[Anonymous No.13424785]

>>13423561
Paragraphs next time please

[Anonymous No.13424805]

>>13423656
Thanks for the laughs man. I'm Jewish and this cracks me up. I don't control the world or the media brother, nor do any of my Jewish friends or relatives. But I would say that being a lying Jew wouldn't I?

Peace and love brother.

[Anonymous No.13424831]

>>13423714
Dude if you're dysphoric it's okay to come out. We'll love you either way

[Anonymous No.13425338]

Ready to retreat into a fantasy world I think lads
this one's no good

[Anonymous No.13425343]

>>13424831
Burn in hell you disgusting creep

[Anonymous No.13425348]

>>13424805
https://youtu.be/kjaRgALhEdg

[Anonymous No.13425367]

Nothing interests me. I can't find anything I want to do.

[Anonymous No.13425393]

>>13423277
https://youtu.be/zyCvy2WnKE4

[Anonymous No.13425559]

I still live at home, my parents want me to go to their Church meetings but I absolutely dread them. Stayed home today and am now looking for something to do. I'm so God damned lonely

[Anonymous No.13425571]

>>13423271
My only form of social connection

a 17 yr old girl from denmark
a 18 yr old chav girl from birmingham

and my dog

[Anonymous No.13425590]

>>13425559
Why not go to the meeting then if you are lonely. Seems contradictory anon

[Anonymous No.13425593]

> mfw relating to Mishima's description of nature of homosexuality in Confession of a mask
i only have a slight homo leaning and it is in fact tightly tied to classic aesthetics and sadism.

[Anonymous No.13425604]

>>13425590
I feel even lonelier there. There's just no connection and a lot of bad memories.

[Anonymous No.13425663]

>>13425559
Try salsa dancing classes, you will meet some good people, socialize and everything.

[Anonymous No.13425711]

What if pee pee poo poo ahahha but it's a sarkapulko Kanye WEst

[Anonymous No.13425866]

>>13425571
How old are you?

[Anonymous No.13426328]

>>13425559
Decided to go on a four hour walk to an art museum. At least I'll be out of the house for a bit

[Anonymous No.13426640]

Searching for something in a dark room with a flashlight seems to invite unwanted guests.

[Anonymous No.13426647]

>>13426640
elaborate on that
by the way, who else /natural lighting only/ here? i physically hate those house lightbulbs and their yellowy ass light

[Anonymous No.13426709]

>>13426647
Get some Christmas lights. They diffuse the light across the whole room, no shadows or hot spots. I haven't ever looked back

[Anonymous No.13426750]

>>13423277
Queen, Nirvana, James Blunt, Coldplay. It doesn’t get any more obscure than this

[Anonymous No.13426766]

I had a sense that Antifragile would be a bad book but I've read the first 50 pages or so now and I'm surprised. A lot of good stuff in there. And it's not so easily reducible as I had anticipated.

[Anonymous No.13426777]

>>13426709
i prefer darkness. this time just before sunset (or sunrise) when everything is dulled and tinted gray is the literal chromatic perfection. though cloud-blocked sun is also great.
the way sun sparkles in grass or through glass (stained glass in churches..nhhh) is also mesmerizing, but blinding a bit and i hate touching direct sunlight

[Anonymous No.13426779]

[Anonymous No.13427408]

>>13426328
I'm back, accidentally found the recording studio of a podcast I used to listen to, was right by my destination. Lots of couples out to, feels bad. Need to get a GF. Realized that I'm incredibly emotionally starved. Felt relaxed for once for a couple of hours but felt my stomach tense up as soon as I saw my house. Glad I went, exploring cities alone is one of my favorite things to do

[Anonymous No.13427416]

the early modern period is too dense how will i ever learn all these twists and turns and names and intrigues

[Anonymous No.13427433]

>>13423277
For /lit/?
I recomend Deca - The Ocean. It's an album from a recovering junkie about Jungian Humanism.
https://open.spotify.com/track/5En2Id47TRadZkaSUSSPD9?si=TrcdoFYeRMGq45r6igq1aA

[Anonymous No.13427515]

>>13424831
Maybe I should. How do you *really* know? I've been wondering pretty much constantly for the last three years, even talked to my doctor and therapist about it. I'm not sure how to determine if I just want to be anyone other than my self, or positively want to be a particular kind of person

[Anonymous No.13427520]

>>13425343
It's okay to accept people different to yourself friend. I still love you

[Anonymous No.13428033]

>>13427515
I seriously suffer from autogynephilia and wish I had never been born

[Anonymous No.13428225]

Objectively terrible Japanese webnovels are getting publishing deals, being turned into big budget anime, spawning hugely popular fandoms, and presumably making their authors decently rich meanwhile my work will never even be published.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's not fair. I don't even write esoteric /lit/ shit ffs

[Anonymous No.13428316]

My landlord shot another stray cat.

[Anonymous No.13428327]

While I was reading in bed last night a moth flew into my forehead so hard it made an audible slapping sound.
My bedroom is fucking full of big big moths. I'm not scared of them; I used to keep them as pets when I was a kid, but I've had enough. Moths, please leave.

[Anonymous No.13428363]

I hate the way my roommate and his girlfriend speak. They talk to one another like they are imitating a relationship, and they try so desperately hard to be adult. They are both so scared to say anything that will potentially offend the other, so they speak like they're selecting from a list of video game prompts. Their conversations are so boring and mindless, and they only talk about movies and tv shows. It's so tedious.

I hate the way they talk about feelings also. Like one will have a stressful day and the other will respond again with a list of prompts. Just a list of things you say to someone when they are feeling bad. But there is no genuine emotion behind it. And it goes back and forth like that. They pretend to be sad when they know they are expected to be sad, but I'm not sure they are ever really sad.They are afraid to say anything outside of what is expected of them, like they learned what a relationship was from watching sitcoms.

I am bitter yes, of course. But it drives me up the wall.

[Anonymous No.13428364]

>>13428327
there is a centipede in my living room ive been seeing. They used to horrify me but i dont care anymore for some reason, when i see it running out of some thing it doesnt even register that feeling of revulsion I used to have. I had some flies a few days ago that did annoy me because theyre loud so I killed them all with a tshirt used as whip sort of.

[Anonymous No.13428365]

>>13428327
good post

[Anonymous No.13428376]

All right, I'm just going to come out and say it:
We need a religion/philosophy/general humanities board. Either that, or the mods need to start moving religion/philosophy threads that aren't explicitly connected to a particular book to /his/.
I come here to talk about books and nobody is talking about books, it's ridiculous. If people want to talk about religion/philosophy/writing in a general sense that's great, but they shouldn't be doing it on the literature board.

[Anonymous No.13428589]

>>13428376
I agree, we should petition Hiro

[Anonymous No.13428794]

I sometimes think about the sexual encounters you've had with other men in the past, and it fills me with jealousy and repulsion. When these thoughts arise, I see you in a different light, and my desire for you dwindles; someone else has possessed you, and used you for their pleasure, and you were merely passed along to me by circumstance.

[Anonymous No.13428813]

If I go a few days without reading something interesting, I feel my thoughts slip into vapidity, confused fantasizing.

[Anonymous No.13428822]

>>13428794
>someone else has possessed you, and used you for their pleasure, and you were merely passed along to me by circumstance.
when you say it like this it implies that the woman did not actively want and pursue those other relationships. you are focusing on the men and what they wanted got because it is easier to understand from your perspective, but it also lets the woman off the hook. just sayin.

[Anonymous No.13429156]

Any serious study of contemporary Protestantism completely vindicates the Catholic view on Sola Scriptura: it only lets in a broken, subjective view of Christianity. All of this same sex marriage, polygamy, Zionism, and progressive theology was predicted 500 years ago by the enemies of the Reformation. I'm not even catholic or Christian but I can see the complete and absolute difference in quality between the two groups. I have a hard time believing that Protestants are even actually Christian at this point

[Anonymous No.13429301]

I don't understand Anti-Oedipus

[Anonymous No.13430323]

>>13428225
If it makes you feel better, the more ambitious, actually literary, non self-insert power-fantasy Japanese web novels don't get attention either.

[Anonymous No.13430325]

>>13428376
I disagree. There's a lot of book discussion happening on here and as such I fail to see your point.

[Anonymous No.13430350]

So as I mentioned in a thread that deserved to get deleted, who is going to sacrifice his youth and sanity to compile a fairly large amount of books that can be vaguely associated with some anime girl in an attempt to get some loser reading more?
The main problem is mainly that you'd have to make a shitton of those since, as the age old saying goes, 'you don't choose your favorite fictional character, she chooses you", and there's definitely no shortage of anime girls. Worse yet, you'd have to know enough about the character to squeeze every possibility dry, and that's not a prerequisite everyone would be proud of meeting.

[Anonymous No.13430365]

Where do you think niceness actually comes from? Can it only ever be a selfish underhanded facade even if this is only realized subconsciously? Or is there such a thing as real for it's own sake niceness? Because it certainly doesn't exist in any animal less intelligent than humans which makes me think perhaps it doesn't exist at all

[Anonymous No.13430382]

>>13428376
This. /lit/ should be only genre fiction and rupi kaur.

[Anonymous No.13430847]

i mainly prefer to read english texts on kindle because it has a built-in dictionary, but only today i have decided to actually write down the words (because i felt my vocab wasn't expanding much).
most of these words on pic i've correctly guessed from context, but i wanted to memorise and use them later so i wrote them down too

do you do it as well, bros?
book is Shallows by Nicholas Carr btw

[Anonymous No.13430886]

> trying to pick that nasty fucking pimple
> scratched the skin raw but the pus's still inside and my whole face hurts
books for this feel?

[Anonymous No.13430907]

how can humans have free will if god is omniscient, knowing exactly what a person will do
please explain to a brainlet

[Anonymous No.13430914]

>>13430847
don't take this the wrong way but I've gotta ask are you ESL? I find it strange someone wouldn't know the words 'exhilarating', 'pivotal' or 'unprecedented'.
Good to see you wanting to expand your vocabulary though, there's only one way to go about it - so I'm not hating.

I've also read The Shallows. It's OK but a little more pop-sci than I thought it would be. It's mostly anecdotes and then some references to studies which he then casually extrapolates from. It raises a lot of good food for thought, and I think it's hard to disagree with him just from a purely anecdotal perspective, but I feel like there was a lot of filler.

[Anonymous No.13430915]

>>13430907
christianity is utterly paradoxical and the worst sin you can commit is trying to make it clear and logical. illogical and chaotic is what makes a God.

[Anonymous No.13430919]

>>13430886
tfw I've got a pimple on my dick

>>13430365
>it certainly doesn't exist in any animal less intelligent than humans
what do you mean? animals will share food with other animals all the time, and plenty of animals will be 'nice' to you out of a desire for companionship or a desire to protect you. I mean, I guess that's still rooted in some sort of survival instinct, but you could say everything is instinct by that logic.

[Anonymous No.13430937]

>>13430914
> esl
that's true. those are the words i guessed correctly from context but wanted to memorize the spelling. the ones i didn't know at all were pertinent, dalliance and reticence
> a lot of filler
i feel this way about most non-fiction books, even philosophy ones. i very rarely finish them from cover to cover because it feels like a literal repetition of a same thought in ways that don't even differ that much.
with fiction, though, i've probably finished over 95% of books, only dropping the absolutely incomprehensible or shit tier ones

[Anonymous No.13431020]

What's worse
>only reading in your native language
>only reading in English
So far I read Russian books in my native language since I'm a west slav, but wonder what's /lit/ opinion on this?

[Anonymous No.13431030]

>>13431020
depends on what your native language is. i'd say if it's German, Spanish, French, Italian or Russian and the like then it's better.
if it's a minor language with no significant authors and shit translations, English is better

[Anonymous No.13431393]

>>13424564
>"why did you rape my mind?"
>"I kamikaze into your soul"
these lines, goddamnit. Just like my exes, these are so bad, I need a bullet going through my head to forget them.

[Anonymous No.13431424]

I reinstalled EU4 and played as Lithuania

[Anonymous No.13431543]

>>13430323
that's just depressing

[Anonymous No.13431692]

Been reading up on pandeism and Advaita Vedanata. Actually feeling optimistic for once, there is really nothing to fear

[Anonymous No.13431694]

>>13431424
Was it fun?
You still get the PU over Poland, right?

[Anonymous No.13431756]

I don't think I'll ever succeed at anything. I have no passions or interests, no personality. I'm planning on killing myself soon. I'm just trying to figure out how to minimize the effect it has on my dad.

[Anonymous No.13431803]

trying to get swole but I'm such a skeleton that it's slow going. it's annoying because I've got way, way stronger but I'm still skinny.

[Anonymous No.13431970]

>>13431756
Have faith brother. I was the same way and literally just woke up one day with a desire to get out there and do things. Hang in there.
>>13431803
Keep it up buddy, great thing about being skinny is that muscle looks even better. It takes a bit for your body to respond but you'll look damn good.

[Anonymous No.13432324]

>>13423277
I don't know why, but I've really gotten into black metal lately.

[Anonymous No.13432398]

>>13426779
Y I K E S

[Anonymous No.13432487]

I shall have my deliverance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xEtg40KlKk

[Anonymous No.13432541]

i'm 1/3way into Shallows now and it's quite a comfy read, i get great vibes when reading about development and research of human brain for some reason.
didn't expect a pop-sci book to be really that interesting

[Anonymous No.13432709]

>walk by housemate sitting on couch with headphones on
>glance at what he's listening to
>CHILL relaxed hip-hop mood beats for RELAXING and STUDY

[Anonymous No.13432801]

>>13432709
utterly based
people who listen to obscure youtube music are far beyond ascended
> t. blasted some shaman shit mix while on dxm once

[Anonymous No.13432810]

>>13432709
Had a friend with severe mental disorders that just blasted this shit all day. There's always an anime boy scribbling gif on repeat. Just seems really banal when you could go on Spotify or whatever and make a station using aphex twin as a seed. Now you have ambient music but with some actual craftsmanship and interest.

[Anonymous No.13433602]

>have to give three (3) references that do not live at the same address as me
what the fuck this is impossible

[Anonymous No.13433624]

Ever since I learned that I was going to have to move out on my own my suicidal ideation has gotten worse, more vivid, more intense. It's not really that I'm scared, its more that I don't think I'll see any of my family anymore. I'm afraid that once I get out they'll never want me around again. I just don't think I deserve to live.

[Anonymous No.13433665]

>>13423277
Good for the summer

[Anonymous No.13433873]

>>13423271
Girlfriend is leaving me for a former D1 lacrosse player named Chad who works in finance.
Life is a cruel joke

[Anonymous No.13433937]

>want to buy new clothes
>remember I never go outside so there's no point

[Anonymous No.13434102]

I have no true opinions. Only figures who speak well, and more importantly, long enough for me to believe them. I do not arrive at conclusions through evidence. An eccentric personality of another controls what I think. I spend too much time on the internet and not enough reading. All I have thought so far has been mimicry.

[Anonymous No.13434139]

>>13423656
>antisemitism

lmao, the ultimate pleb filter

[Anonymous No.13434214]

>>13423271
>capital is sentient
>prominent accel meme
>fanged noumena
>Land pic
Interesting meme. Why do trannies get so many column inches here?

[Anonymous No.13434224]

>>13434214
And a Land quote lmao Anything else I missed?

[Anonymous No.13435481]

>>13432709
it's harmless anon

[Anonymous No.13435679]

/trv/ here. Most of 4chan in censored in Indonesia, so I've decided to take the odd trip over to /lit/. Currently taking a break from some for-pay writing work I've to do, then I'll head out into the city.

I've had an intense week of traveling. Last Monday, I flew from Chicago to Qatar, then from Qatar to Singapore. I've since visited Kuala Lumpur and am now in Jakarta 'til Friday.

Unfortunately, Jakarta's every bit the kind of concrete jungle I'd be warned about. The temperature isn't unbearable, but there's little to do outside a few small pockets in the center and south.

Nonetheless, I'm excited: on Friday, I'll be in Kolkata. It'll be thirteenth trip to India. I recently wrote a long master's paper on medical infrastructures in the country's insurgency-stricken tribal corridor. Now, I'm planning to spend a week in the West Bengal district where today's Maoist insurgency began in 1967.

If nothing else, I'm excited to be going back. I've seen a handful of new places, and will likely visit Bangladesh and Nepal before September rolls around.

[Anonymous No.13435736]

In my utter insignificance I wield power over the entire world, I the possessed, the demoniacal—what a cruel irony for the gods of old to have willed their momentous incarnation within such an awkward, clumsy, powerless oddball!

[Anonymous No.13435745]

>>13423277
Math rock and Japanese math rock

[Anonymous No.13435786]

I had a snap yesterday that I can only describe as a complete clarity of thought free from all anxiety. I suddenly viewed everyone in my life with an emotional detachment so I had no need to think or do anything for or against them. They were just other actors. All of the problems of my life were immediately apparent, but I didn't feel strangled by them, I just started taking steps to correct things immediately as I saw fit, and I was perfectly content to live in my own little bubble of self. It was like Stirner's example of spooks, but I saw all the anxieties and obligations more like bugs, things totally beneath me.

This lasted a couple hours until I fell asleep. I want to go back so bad but I don't know how. I didn't feel happy, just perfectly content, but it was bliss.

[Anonymous No.13435998]

>>13435786
I go through short bursts of this from time to time, and more frequently lately, but I don't particularly like it. I know what you mean though, it's kinda like when you're high and things hit you like an epiphany, except it comes out of nowhere.

I feel increasingly detached from everything. I feel nothing in particular for anybody. I barely notice the days going by. It's like a screen has been pulled away, and the screen is what imprints emotions and feelings and meaning over the people, places, and pursuits in your life. But the screen is gone, and you're seeing everyone for their naked selves.

[Anonymous No.13436808]

>>13431694
I fucked it up

I was broke the entire game. I PU'ed Poland, Muscovy, then became Commonwealth and PU'ed Hungary with the overpowered missions. I became emperor and started expanding into Scandinavia. But I was broke as fuck the entire game and fell into a jewish loan hole. Then the Ottomans fucked me to pieces.

I started over as Aragon and used an early no-CB war on Byzantium to vassalize them and feed them cores from the Ottomans. My plan was to use Aragon's missions to expand around the Mediterranean, then PU Castille with the royal marriage, PU Portugal with the missions, form Spain, take out France, PU Austria with the Spanish Habsburg missions, and finally PU Great Britain. But the game is bugged not to give you Spain's missions as Aragon, and it turns out the Habsburg PU only works in the 1/100000000 chance that you inherited Burgundy and own the Netherlands. Now I'm going to hang myself for playing this fucking terrible game again

[Anonymous No.13436832]

>>13423271
I'm hungry.

[Anonymous No.13436851]

I hate our omni-connected online reliant world. It paranoids and distresses me.

[Anonymous No.13436861]

>>13424776
Mostly an extension, I think. After all, the wars in the Middle East carried on through the bulk of the 2010s. In politics it seemed like things didn't really pick-up and change until around 2015-16 what with Trump running and then becoming President. Now it's as though 2015 is here again, except Trump is already President and while most people didn't think he'd win in 2016 (more like almost nobody thought he'd win) it seems like now most people think he WILL win in 2020. In essence, 2001-2015, roughly speaking, was the 'War on Terror' era. 2016-2024 will be the 'Glorious Trump Golden Age' era. Love from Canada, wish we had proper leadership like Trump. If Maxime "Mad Max" Bernier becomes Prime Minister in October, that's the closest we can possibly come. I can only hope it will be so...

[Anonymous No.13436862]

I walk a lot and have shitty shoes and now I have a boo-boo on my right second toe that bleeds and hurts

[Anonymous No.13436863]

>>13436862
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSJ8SczLWxE

[Anonymous No.13436880]

>>13436808
>fell into a jewish loan hole.
Why would you do that?
Corruption fucked you over, or mercs?

Also, Bankruptcy isn't so bad if you know the right tricks and have some decent allies.

[Anonymous No.13437221]

it has been a long time since i last wrote something of note, been wanting to start over. just translocating the average thoughts that pop up occasionaly onto paper, maybe trying to expand and elaborate on them should do. reading augustine rant about time and the past's present and the mind and memory and what has been, is, and is not made me realize how much of an insignificant brainlet i truly am. browsing lit wont ever change that. been trying to cope i guess.

[Anonymous No.13437320]

How do I reach elite level in my self-studies?

[Anonymous No.13437978]

The next fundamental technological shift will be the transition from software/computer systems that only provide answers to ones that can provide questions. There are patterns that no one sees, hidden ciphers in mega streams of data. There can be no answers if there are no questions. Because these patterns are undetected, they cannot be capitalized on. Lacking the proper prompt, they remain unintelligible and un-actionable.

[Anonymous No.13438001]

>>13437320
Don't do anything else with your time.

[Anonymous No.13438276]

Been playing Bach recently. I loved playing passages that I knew well. Finally I got myself to sit down and learn something new and it took me like an hour to learn whole prelude in c# major from WTC 1. I need to do this more often.

[Anonymous No.13438307]

I have a real normie problem and I can't stop having it. My dick size. I feel like I have a small dick. I've had one girlfriend and she was my only sexual partner. This was ten years ago almost. She never said my dick was too small or anything. She would say her jaw hurt whilst giving me a blowjob but what if she was just trying to get out of doing it? She didn't mind blowing until I came for a minute or two.

I have a good amount of stamina. I can go for at least two hours when it comes to sex. I made her vaginally orgasm. I only came from sex once. It was weird. So, I know that's a good thing. The stamina, I mean.

Maybe I've been watching too much pornography. I don't usually compare myself to others but for some reason I do with this. Not like I can really control my size, though. I don't know, lads. Just getting it off my chest, I guess.

[Anonymous No.13438702]

>>13438307
You're over-thinking it. Besides, women tend to be hypergamist by nature. More important than how you are in bed or how you look, is whether you have money in the bank, a roof over your head, and a vehicle that you drive. If you have money, a nice house, and a nice car, even if you had a micropenis you could probably get a better woman than a poor guy with a 10" cock. Also, vaginal size varies between women. I have an average-sized dick, but in my teens I fucked this one thin and relatively short 15 year old redhead (legal in my country; I was less than 5 years older than her) and if I went too hard, she'd seize up and urgently tell me to slow down. I assume I was jabbing her cervix. She had a rape fetish too so it's not like she didn't enjoy it rough, but yeah, my roughly 5.5" or so was a bit too long for her. Women don't have black holes in their pussy; there IS a wall at the end and generally they dislike it when it's jabbed. I also heard that women only have nerves in the first 4" of their vagina but I've never looked much into the science of the matter to see if that's true, but if it is, then anything beyond 4" is in theory just showing off.

So, if you're indeed worried... just aim for women who are short. Maybe 5 and a half feet at most, ideally down around 5'4 or shorter. Asians and Arabs would probably be ideal since to my understanding the shortest average penis sizes on Earth are in Asia and the Middle East so they're biologically built to handle smaller dicks than White or Black women.

[Anonymous No.13438898]

How do you achieve /comfiness/? My life is pretty good I feel, other than being lonely, but there's always this sense of vague anxiety that's keeping me from contentedness. How do I chill out?

[Anonymous No.13439138]

>>13438898
Develop a benzo addiction or determine the source of your anxiety and eradicate it

[Anonymous No.13439187]

There's something about arabs when they set their minds to some project. They meticulously go through every detail and polish it to perfection. This is why people get so amazed watching ISIS videos with their flashy graphics and high end production. If you were familiar with Arab culture you wouldn't be. Their dating apps, anime blogs, student support sites, all are polished to absurd perfection. No wonder Arabs created the world's most sophisticated calligraphy.

[Anonymous No.13439208]

>>13423277
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cAf1HX4jrDA

[Anonymous No.13439344]

>>13428363
You would not believe how common this is. The amount of "truth" people try to draw from sitcoms and movies is ridiculously astounding.

[Anonymous No.13439356]

>>13435679
Are you from Indonesia?

[Anonymous No.13439433]

I should have never been born. My life is a cruel joke told by evil God. I should have been miscarried, or aborted, or suffocated as an infant, or ran over or beaten to death, or drowned, or abandoned and left to starve. I should I have ended my life that night with the plastic bag. It should have ended there. That way I would at least know some kind of peace. I'm pathetic, aren't I?
I hate my very being. My body, my mind, my soul, but especially my body. I'm disgusting. No one could love me and I don't blame them.

[Anonymous No.13440309]

Literally what are you supposed to do once you've finished school and get a job? I wouldn't mind wagecucking if I had a reason to, but I don't beyond a desire not to be homeless. This fucking sucks I hate it. I don't know what the fuck life is and reading a bunch of old-ass books hasn't helped.

[Anonymous No.13440363]

>>13440309
After school, once you're employed, there's various avenues to go down, but first you need to know what your goal in life is. Personally, I want to get married someday to a good, traditional, Christian woman and have a family. As many kids as she's willing to have and that I can manage to afford. You might not have such aspirations. Is it a profession that you truly enjoy and find fulfilling? If so, look within yourself to your interests and talents. It's in the New Testament that everyone is born with talents, or at least one, and that more can be learned along the way. I believe this. So, what are your interests and talents, and which ones can be monetized. I'm a big gun nut, for example. Like, SERIOUSLY obsessed with firearms, and so a job in a gun store or at a gun range or an armorer in the Military would be good and indeed I've pursued this... though sadly with no success.

Work doesn't have to be your goal though, it could merely be a side-thing you deal with as you pursue your true purpose, though ideally you'd find some level of fulfillment in your job. Everyone has to contribute to society, or at least, those who physically/mentally can, should. Ultimately, you need to find your own purpose, and that mission for purpose will likely be with you right to the end, even if you're lucky enough to finally retire someday, maybe with a partner, with children grown up, maybe some grandchildren toddling around... people tend to still look for purpose. That's been my experience with the limited experience I have in interacting with retired people. There's even a 61-62 year old teacher I had, awesome dude, he still worked out like crazy. He could probably kick my ass, no joke, and even does such things as jumping on a trampoline and going at a punching bag lol Seriously, some 60-odd year old men are in UNBELIEVABLY good physical condition. So he teaches, works out, trains people... very busy guy, and without that business, without being able to help and improve people... I suspect he would be miserable or at least quite unhappy with life. While working, though, he's incredibly happy. Got a lovely wife, too.

So get used to the desire for purpose, it seems to be a lifelong thing.

[Anonymous No.13440439]

I wish life were like an anime and some cute girl would come to save me, or I'd get swept up in some adventure, or transported to a different world.

[Anonymous No.13440443]

>>13423271

I work at the US State Department focusing on East Asia. Lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about my opposite number in Beijing. Every day I read the cables describing what he's been up to during my off hours. Every day when I go home he clocks into work, and while I sleep he proceeds to deconstruct everything I spent my day crafting. I don't know anything about him, but I sincerely wish him all the best. What does this man do with his time? What are his hopes and dreams? The whole business of diplomacy sometimes feels like an intricate and slightly absurd dance.

[Anonymous No.13440464]

>>13440443
You win the thread. Please tell us more in so far as you can without breaching any kind of protocol or whatever. You're the only person here who's interesting except for the guy above visiting India.

[Anonymous No.13440482]

>>13423271
>>13423271
I would anon but I have this super secret original and creative idea that if I told you I wouldn't become a famous artist, philosopher, psychologist, polymath in the future.

[Anonymous No.13440493]

If God is omnipotent doesn't that mean he could create an unmovable object? But then it can't be unmovable since he's omnipotent but if it isn't unmovable then he isn't omnipotent either.

- Been thinking bout this for a while.

[Anonymous No.13440501]

>>13440493
You'r acting as if God does not exist apart from Space and Time however lets say God exists as physical being or creates the object within the physical:

God creates an object that is immovable, it is immovable for as long as God makes it so. And vice versa.

[Anonymous No.13440584]

I live a life mostly bereft of romance, mainly by choice. I've been in relationships before and have not enjoyed it- I don't like the way I become and I don't think it is fair to force my problems on somebody else in the name of commitment or whatever. I thought I had moved past feelings of love-sickness but every few months I'm reminded of a girl I hooked up with at a party like 5 years ago. We had a very intense connection but nothing came of it, she moved to a different city, etc. However we follow each other on twitter (she's pretty funny and has a fairly sizeable following of ~2000 people) and we'll go through phases of liking each other's tweets, etc. It is the most artificial and fucking stupid thing but I get a real thrill when she likes one of my tweets and then grow sad when she does not like one for awhile. This process has repeated itself every 5 months or so and it is the most consistent amount of attraction I have ever felt toward a woman. I've been in a long-term relationship and had other hook-ups since but this still lingers. It's very pathetic and I hate myself for it

[Anonymous No.13440586]

>pathetically reaching out to everyone you even tangentially knew as your loneliness continues to erode your soul

[Anonymous No.13440588]

>>13440464

Honestly I'm fairly junior, but I genuinely like the work I do. It's routine, but important. If you were going to write a book about me and my counterpart it would be closer to a workplace comedy then anything by John Le Carre. The problem with my job is that you hear a ton of really interesting snippets which would make good stories, but you can't tell anyone. Maybe one day I'll write a fictionalized version that combines them into a narrative. But I imagine if that day ever comes it'll be some time from now. You have to know something well before you can write about it convincingly.

For instance, did you know that we held mounted patrols in the mountainous areas of Afghanistan? Imagine riding through remote parts of the country where the word of the prophet has scarcely been heard for a century. Imagine the blue sky stretched out above you with a rifle strapped to your back. You carry dry goods and toys for the children which you give out at the remote villages you visit. You confer with your contacts, pass your respects to the elders, and then lead your patrol over the ridge and onwards into the next valley. Death stalks the hills, but your pony is swift.

There's something terribly romantic about it all. That being said, I suspect it's far more enjoyable reading about it 12,000 miles away with your morning mug of coffee. There is a rather lovely story to go along with this supposition, but the details (not that they're actually important to national security) have to stay vague for another 25 years.

[Anonymous No.13440619]

>>13440586
Tell me anon, why are you alone? The pubescent wounds may be healed when one accepts that all undergo this feeling of loss and of loneliness. Funnily enough only once one understands all men are lonely can they find true individual assertion. Yet you are not a teenager, so why is it you are alone? Age but an arbitrary degree so why do you wish to be alone?

[Anonymous No.13440637]

>>13440619
I don't want to be alone, I just don't have any friends. I drifted away from everyone I was even a little close with. The one person I would actually call a friend moved away and doesn't talk to me anymore. Since I don't have anyone I spend all day inside and so I never get out and meet anymore. It's a difficult cycle to break, especially if you're like me and don't live in a huge city with a million different clubs and meetups going on constantly.

[Anonymous No.13440647]

>>13440637
I find even a venture out to meet others ends in a dead-still realization that you will always have to stitch together their perspectives in odd ways to make a line-up match with what you've been through.

[Anonymous No.13440653]

>>13440637
>>13440647
Anon you refuse to look into yourself, why are you alone - that is all I am asking. What have you been through, what have you felt and what have you concluded. I do not suggest your fear rejection but why, just why do you see yourself as alone, and why do you desire friends?

Once you answer these questions you shall find yourself among friends numerous.

[Anonymous No.13440654]

>>13440647
I accepted long ago that no one will ever fully understand the contents of my own soul. And that's fine, because we can still share bits and pieces.

[Anonymous No.13440676]

>>13423277
https://diednyc.bandcamp.com/album/anonymized-internal-criminals

[Anonymous No.13440678]

>>13440653
I am alone because I refuse to be rejected by others - or more aptly, I affirm the fact that validation through just as clueless people is a destructive way to live.

Collided with the fact that I'm off revving a career together means all those I would spend time with are away. I'm away. Stuck in this lonesome crowded west.

Hard to justify gaining a friend when they're going to be gone so soon, too. I'm committed to this ending. Taking long showers to feel some warmth.
>>13440654
Seems like everyone else holds on to their bits too tightly or just isn't anything fresh.

[Anonymous No.13440718]

>>13440653
I don't think my trauma is particularly deep or interesting. I lost all my elementary school friends in middle school because I was slow to enter puberty and was also a raging asshole. This snowballed into social retardation and difficulty forming strong friendships in high school and college. I desire friends because I am lonely, much like one who is hungry desires food or one who is cold desires a fire.

[Anonymous No.13440723]

>>13440678
>I am alone because I refuse to be rejected by others - or more aptly, I affirm the fact that validation through just as clueless people is a destructive way to live.
You live off this loneliness do you not? A way of submission to the monstrous waves of life, now a life free of all responsibility, all value, and all sacred - for a life lived without that of the sacred is not life at all, but the entrancement of self destruction. Tell me how was it that Heracles faced the great Lion? What did St. George do to the Dragon, Did Siegfried lay down and bow to Fafnir, did he lay in his shallow grave hoping for eternity to save him? No Heracles threw the Lion to the ground, St. George slit its throat and Siegfried pierced its heart. Thor fought the world Serpent - the very embodiment of the human existence - and destroyed it by the death of himself, sacrifice as the redeemer of the life itself.

>Seems like everyone else holds on to their bits too tightly or just isn't anything fresh.
The truth is that you simply do not understand others, just as others do not understand you. For your knowledge, your posit is of your own self. Your own psychic truth's; a subjective truth and one which only you understand. "No one understands me if I were to speak" you may not say this but this is your belief, "I don't understand anyone" and this is true yet then make the effort or learn, master dominance over new things. Others focus on the objective information, the outside intuitive knowledge. Other simply focus on their senses with no willing to anything further than what is felt with eye, nose, ear and mouth. You must understand you share unity with man for you are no different from him; only that you must understand your difference is the difference of man. Your loneliness is the loneliness of all men. Accept your position and find strength from within, only once one relies only upon themselves can they ever truly rely upon outer structures of belief whether named religion, ideology or race.

No process can be made when a man has already given up, yet there is also truth to the statement - "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

- Carl Rogers

[Anonymous No.13440727]

>>13440718
>I don't think my trauma is particularly deep or interesting. I lost all my elementary school friends in middle school because I was slow to enter puberty and was also a raging asshole. This snowballed into social retardation and difficulty forming strong friendships in high school and college. I desire friends because I am lonely, much like one who is hungry desires food or one who is cold desires a fire.

And why does one which is hungry desire food, and why is it that one whom is cold desires fire? Why!?

[Anonymous No.13440735]

I have no fucking clue what to write about. I feel as if I should be writing something but whenever I start thinking about it draw blanks.

[Anonymous No.13440741]

>>13440735
Why should you write? For attention? To justify ones acceptance of the tidal waves of life and its existential jester? Write by necessity for that has been the key of all great writers.

[Anonymous No.13440751]

>>13423648
Melville actually wore about both of those things

[Anonymous No.13440773]

>>13423648
>Doesn't understand one of the most fundamental factors to modernity

[Anonymous No.13440791]

>>13440727
basic biological imperative or your pick of philosophical explanations

[Anonymous No.13440800]

I believe in God much more than I ever did when I was a practicing Christian. All of the mythology is like child's clothes I've outgrown. I've seen barely a glimpse of the face of God and I know now that there is nothing to be afraid of, the plan for our reality is more beautiful than you can ever imagine. All our suffering will be worth it in the end

[Anonymous No.13440805]

>>13440791
I choose both - Because they need it to survive.

[Anonymous No.13440807]

>>13440800
>believing Christianity entirely literally and so rejecting it as entirely literally
Dude... read Schopenhauer pr Jung at least.

[Anonymous No.13440830]

Anyone break free of the office grind and do something cool? I feel hopeless

[Anonymous No.13440849]

>>13440830
I broke the foundations of modern society, transgressed beyond the confines of my personal solitude, and surmounted morality single-handedly, similar to what the Jews did at the beginning of recorded history.

In one fell-swoop, and with God at my side, I wreaked vengeance on those who lie for gain and through sheer persistence have started to manipulate reality to my will.

Office work sucks, man. :3

[Anonymous No.13440899]

Got a heap of praise from classmates at film school about my latest script. A few wanted my help with theirs, too. Seems I'm developing a small reputation as a good writer. Gave me a boost of confidence which has made the last few weeks feel really incredible.

[Anonymous No.13440921]

>>13424776
I think it will be seen as all the bad of the 2000s rolled into one decade.

[Anonymous No.13440923]

>>13440899
Give me some pieces of your work anon, not anything that would cause you harm though.

[Anonymous No.13440943]

My entire body hurts. My mind is in hell. I will not give up.

[Anonymous No.13440949]

>>13437978
Please expand on this, I have been thinking about how there is so much meta data in our lives that we even fail to pick up on, let alone trapped in Russoland or Sinoland.

[Anonymous No.13440960]

>>13439187
I work with an Arab. It seems like he is the only person I don't want to bludgeon at work and has a sense of wanting to do more with his life.

[Anonymous No.13440974]

>>13423277
Queens Of The Stone Age are the best rock band evar!!!1!!!1!!1!one11!1!!

[Anonymous No.13441055]

>>13440923
I haven't the guts to actually send the script, but I'll tell you about it. It's a black comedy, maybe 5 minutes.
It's about an elderly woman, local matriarch of a small Australian beachside suburb. Anyone has a problem, anything, they go to her and she always seems to have an answer. By helping out all these people all the time she shields herself from a deep loneliness. One late afternoon the elderly local policeman - a mumbling, gentle man - comes to her for help. Nothing police-worthy has happened in this area for maybe 30 years, and what has happened tonight has bewildered him: someone has murdered a dachshund in a public park and has cut it into several pieces. They go to the park to investigate. The woman notices that one of the corpse's legs is missing and has been replaced with a leg from another animal.
Now, she has a compulsion to be always helpful, always have an answer, but this situation stumps her and sends her into a bit of a crisis. The elderly policeman gets a bit philosophical.
And I don't quite have the last 30 seconds down yet. I've realised that I'm bad at ending things.

[Anonymous No.13441071]

>>13441055
>Australian
Ay Aussie here.

> I don't quite have the last 30 seconds down yet. I've realised that I'm bad at ending things.
Anon that's fucking horrible. How did you create this without some core comedy to begin with, what even makes it humour?

[Anonymous No.13441085]

>>13441071
Aiming for comedy mostly in dialogue and in visual gags, rather than the core story which is pretty grim.

Also heck, I have no idea. I'm barely laying the tracks down in front of the train as I write this. But I'm going with my gut.

[Anonymous No.13441115]

>>13436861
Oh, bugger off

[Anonymous No.13441116]

>>13441085
>Aiming for comedy mostly in dialogue and in visual gags, rather than the core story which is pretty grim.
I see so subtle. Still what's the main plot even really anyway? Perhaps you could have it was the family cat that got run over and the dads lamb shank, or perhaps some crazy Pagan dressed in animal skulls which could be made quite comedic.

So you are good at comedy right? Not just "oh, I get it" in a monotone voice.

[Anonymous No.13441133]

>>13439187
> This is why people get so amazed watching ISIS videos with their flashy graphics and high end production.
they actually look like those "mysterious" sadboy glitched vids with scratchy witchhouse playing on the background.
also, i've jacked it to those isis vids a couple o'times.

[Anonymous No.13441135]

>>13441116
No larger plot. I only have 5 minutes. Just two interesting (hopefully) characters in an interesting situation that makes them question themselves.

I would hope so. I'm writing stuff that makes me laugh, and my classmates laughed at the right moments when they read it, which is nice.

[Anonymous No.13441148]

>>13440899
based. you may be judging yourself too stricktly or realistically, but normies (who mostly don't read much) and also didn't see your expectations, just the final writing. so they have no idea if it's below your standards or not as you wanted it to be.
see pic - most normies don't tend to compare amateur art (especially made by people they know irl) to "masterpieces", it's simply impressive you created something. 2bh creators themselves should think like this at first to combat frustration and apathy

[Anonymous No.13441152]

I want to die but I keep hanging that I might be able to be saved and I numb myself with distraction after distraction so I don't have to face the fact that it's too difficult to try. My body, my mind, these the walls of this house feels like cages. I want to cut my skin open and stab needles under my skin. I hate existing.

I hope the world ends because at least I wouldn't be at fault. I don't want to survive but I also don't want anything to exist after me.

I feel so far from God.

[Anonymous No.13441171]

>>13441055
i like it, old policeman seems kind of touching even.
my first thoughts was that next thing they'll find an animal whole leg's been cut off, a larger dog let's say, but its other leg is also replaced with other animal's, and further inverstigation would unveil a seemingly infinite chain of murders (possibly with animals getting bigger or smarter, so the viewer suspects next thing they find will be human) but i don't see where it'd lead or how to incorporate comedy.
anyway, good job bruv. i love murder mysteries set in bumfuck nowhere

[Anonymous No.13441175]

>>13441171
good god, you must proofread on mobile, it looks like i had a stroke
thought*
whole leg's*

[Anonymous No.13441178]

>>13441175
whose* why do i have to make typos of this spinozan group masturbation blog

[Anonymous No.13441441]

I have a job interview for somewhere I've wanted to work since I was 11 in eight hours. I'm freaking out a bit because I really want the job and absolutely do not want to mess it up. I've messed up interviews before and shrugged it off but if I mess this one up I will be seriously upset with myself.

I've been going over questions in my head and answering them to myself to practice saying them. Got my stories straight. Got stuff ready and still keep coming up with more stuff to say. I'm worried I'll freeze up or forget to say something. Or I won't be liked.

I know the person who would be above me and he's pulling for me to get the job. How far can nepotism go when it's out of his hands beyond recommendations? I'm seriously anxious. I think I'm afraid.

[Anonymous No.13441457]

I am starting to wonder where this fad started in mainstream lit where each character has to get the same amount of time as the other. I'll often read books now where it's clear a character is showing up not because there's anything for them to do, but because it's clear the author thinks they haven't been in the story for so long that people will either forget they existed or get salty over their absence. In general, I am starting to think that third person limited was a grave mistake.
Apart from this, I am trying to work on my novel and I'm having a hard time deciding what narrative threads I want to prioritize.

[Anonymous No.13441546]

>>13441115
Trump's approval rating is higher now than it has ever been, and he's forecast even by Politico to win 2020 in a landslide. Look at his opposition; creepy uncle Joe, Pocahontas, 'Beto' O'Rourke who literally spoke Spanish at the first Democrat debate and has even gone down into MEXICO to meet rejected illegals, that other wackaloon with the bug-eyes who spoke Spanish at the debate, the Michelle woman is pretty nice with her 'love' talk but she's clearly not Presidential material, Bernie Sanders (wouldn't he be 90 by the time he finished his destructive 4-year term as President if he won?), and literally ALL the candidates as I recall raised their hand upon being asked if illegals should get free healthcare. They're going off the deep end and pandering to the radical left, whom only make up about 8% of the country. There's also figures such as something like 10% of Bernie voters will vote Trump if he's not selected as the Democrat candidate, and there's many far-left Democrat voters who've said that if the Democrat Presidential candidate doesn't end up being a woman of colour then they won't vote at all.

Meanwhile, Trump's economy is BOOMING, most people like how he handled the Iran situation, President Moon of South Korea has said in the White House NEXT to Trump that President Trump is the primary reason why things are better on the peninsula than it has been in decades, and Trump became the first ever sitting President of the USA to step foot into North Korea. On top of that he's dealing with China to set up possibly the biggest trade deal in history, he's fixing NAFTA into the USMCA if I have it correctly which will be more fair for America (and as a Canadian, I can respect that), and he's still seeing to getting that wall built (the Trump Wall GoFundMe is already erecting wall, I donated some money to them myself) as well as managed to get the travel ban on those problematic pro-terrorist Islamic nations which OBAMA pointed out as being an issue.

He's going to win 2020, and rightly so, because the American people would be retardedly ungrateful to not reelect him. He seems to me like the most capable national leader on the planet today, with the possible exception of Poland or Japan, whom keep their borders VERY tight and immigration VERY restricted. Well, somewhat. Poland did let in a lot of immigrants to my understanding, just no fucking Muslim ones. Christian Ukrainians were given the go-ahead. Right on. Christians need to look out for one another. As a result, Poland has seen possibly the fewest terrorist attacks in recent years of any European nation. God bless Poland, stay strong, and God bless the Hungarian border barrier while I'm at it. Walls work, and so will Trump's.

[Anonymous No.13442262]

>>13441546
>Trump's approval rating is higher now than it has ever been
No, it's not. Source? Literally, any?
>and he's forecast even by Politico to win 2020 in a landslide
He didn't even win by a landslide in 2016, when he was up against one of the worst candidates of all time, and before blowing his load and showing that he's a worthless motherfucker that delivered nothing to his voters. But in general,
>even Politico
This is how I know you're a brainlet. What do you mean by 'even' Politico? Politico is a terrible establishment outlet that constantly writes puff pieces about corporatists and shits on basically anyone else.
>Look at his opposition
All better than Hillary Clinton, who already won the popular vote last time. Biden is even more of a puppet than Trump is, and he's also old and white. If you think normies aren't going to be voting for him in droves you're out of the loop. He's still in the lead despite fucking up constantly, and Bernie is 2nd. Also, if Biden goes out we already know Bernie will get his voters and vice versa: again, white old men sell.
>if illegals should get free healthcare.
They should, how is this even a question?
>They're going off the deep end and pandering to the radical left
Imagine being so brainwashed that you think medicare is the radical left, lmfao.
>whom only make up about 8% of the country.
Wrong again. In a recent poll when asked if they would support a socialist candidate, I think it was over 25% of people that said they would, if not over 30%. Not to mention that Bernie already has a lot of grassroots support. Mainly because, you know, he's not a "radical" in any way. True radicals have disavowed people like Bernie for ages.
>There's also figures such as something like 10% of Bernie voters will vote Trump if he's not selected as the Democrat candidate
And you got this number, where, exactly?
>woman of colour then they won't vote at all
Those people aren't far-Left, those are basically centrist that want a fucking cop as president.
>Trump's economy is BOOMING
No, it's not. People are still living as badly as before, and worse in some cases due to his retarded tariffs.
>most people like how he handled the Iran situation
"most people" = ?
>and as a Canadian, I can respect that
Damn, what a surprise that the uber-cuck is Canadian. Spineless faggots.
>He's going to win 2020
He definitely won't. Everything he had going or him in 2016 is gone, and apart from his deluded base that won't make the cut, his number of supporters is running thin. You would know if this if you didn't get your news from YouTube.
>He seems to me like the most capable national leader on the planet today
You're genuinely retarded, then. He's not even a capable speaker, let alone a leader. Everything he's ever done is a failure. Erdogan, Xi, fuck even Orban are much better at this than he is.
>whom keep their borders VERY tight and immigration VERY restricted
Learn to speak English, you illiterate leafcuck.

[Anonymous No.13442439]

Self proclaimed meat eating enthusiasts are very off-putting. Can't stand them, they remind of pedophiles

[Anonymous No.13442453]

>>13442262
>Approval rating
https://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/other/president_trump_job_approval-6179.html
It reached 45.1% average recently, which it had reached once before earlier this year and the only point it has been higher is February 2017. Some stats suggest 47% approval, however, which indeed would make him more popular than ever before in his candidacy.

>Politico
They're left-leaning to my understanding.

>Delivers nothing to voters
I've made my case on that regard, he's been a very effective President and the American people should be proud of him. That is my view, you're free to differ on that.

>Opposition
It all looks pretty pathetic to me, and VERY divided. They don't seem to represent the typical Democrat, and I think they represent them even less than Hillary did. Thus, I believe that whoever wins among the Dems, they're fighting for who gets to lose hard against Trump.

>Illegals get free healthcare.
Won't be an option soon, they're gonna be mass-deported, and rightly so. They're criminals, and they have been since crossing the border illegally over over-staying their Visas. Any illegal taking free healthcare or social services is being a drain on the US economy, and any illegal who is employed is taking a job that should go to a real American citizen.

>Free healthcare for illegal immigrants?
Yes, I believe this is radical left.

>8% of the US are Progressives
The fact remains. As for Socialism, even Bernie thinks he's a Socialist when his stances seem to primarily be Democratic Socialism as seen in Scandinavia, which personally I think should be renamed Socialist-leaning Capitalism. Socialism inevitably crumbles under its own weight without a firm foundation of Capitalism beneath it, the excesses of which is what it leeches from and redistributes to the vulnerable. You need Capitalist excess in order to have any social programs without the whole thing falling.

>Non-White woman
It's true, there are leftists who refuse to vote unless the Democrat candidate is female and non-White for maximum victimhood hierarchy points/marginalization.

>Trump's economy
Lowest unemployment since 1969, lowest-ever unemployment for Blacks/Hispanics/Asians, set to reach lowest-ever unemployment for women. God bless President Trump and his BOOMING economy. I don't like to name-call, but you're delusional if you're going to claim the economy is worse now.

>Most people
Those not on CNN and MSNBC.

>Going to win 2020
It's fine, you can disagree, I'll just kick back and watch. I am confident he's going to win 2020 with far more votes than 2016, who knows, maybe even end up with a majority in both the House and Senate.

>Most capable national leader on the planet today
In my eyes, it still seems like truth. America is stronger than ever before.

>Poland keeps their borders tight and immigration restricted
Still seems true to me. I'm a writer, by the way. I've been making money from writing... well... technically before Trump was elected lol

[Anonymous No.13442482]

>>13440849
>Office work sucks

I don't understand why anyone would do it. After being in the workforce for the last few years since leaving university, working various office jobs, I have realized that there is no satisfaction, no gratitude, no prestige, no job security, low pay, high stress. It's some of the worst work in the world, but it's comfy...too comfy.

I've been pacified. I'm scared to take a risk, but I need to do exactly that. I've been reading Antifragile and it's convincing me to take a risk, to start my own little business. I hardly get paid anything anyway so the worst that can happen is: I fail, make no money, blow through my savings, and start a new job making slightly less money than when I left. There is very little downside, but I'm still struggling to make this jump.

[Anonymous No.13442484]

>>13441441
>411411

does that count as dubs?

[Anonymous No.13442509]

>>13441546
I'm Polish and our socialist government is ruining this country, prices are raising + inflation goes up, not to mention christian fundametalism and catholic church that are ruining our country from inside

[Anonymous No.13442528]

>>13442453

fuck donald trump and fuck america. every single american president should be hanged for war crimes. fuck your military. fuck your lack of healthcare. fuck you for being cuckolded by your capitalist masters and think you're free. chug corn syrup, you dumb bitch.

[Anonymous No.13442531]

>>13442262
>illegals should get free healthcare
and because of people like you chinks are gonna overtake this country

[Anonymous No.13442561]

>>13442531
I can see forcing them to get vaccinated or something so they aren't vectors for disease, but if they aren't US citizens, they shouldn't be getting any money from the government

[Anonymous No.13442591]

>>13423277
I’m in the same place. Go one decade earlier to check out bands like Flipper and shit.

[Anonymous No.13442719]

>>13442509
the current polish government is right wing you brainlet /pol/ larper

[Anonymous No.13442723]

>>13442531
the chinese will overtake the US because even bastardized state capitalism is better than amerikan retardation :^)

[Anonymous No.13442724]

I could be wrong. I could be right. I could wrong. I could be right. I could be right. I could be wrong.

[Anonymous No.13442736]

Nowadays people can't think about politics or anything politics-adjacent without describing people and movements as similar or the same as past movements or people.
Far-right movements today are 'Nazi', ignoring the fact that far right regimes and parties existed well before the advent of Nazism. Whenever the left advocates a policy it's mischaracterised as something that will lead us down the path of Soviet Russia. Trump described the Mueller investigation and the hysteria surrounding it as "the new McCarthyism" and for dumb Boomers Brexit is about sticking it to the Jerries "like we did in the war".
Have people lost their ability to analyse movements by their own merits, or is it just the media searching for things in the public consciousness that will elicit an emotional response?

[Anonymous No.13442758]

>>13442509
Looks to me like your nation is keeping borders strong and not letting it get flooded by Muslims. As for Christianity, I perceive that as beneficial. Go ahead and present your views in more detail, however. I have a lot of respect for Poland. More White Christian nations need to adopt some nationalism, to remember one's heritage and respect it.

>>13442528
I'm Canadian, sadly not yet American, but I will be someday. Legally. With lots of money already in the bank. God Bless president Trump, God bless America and the freedom for which she stands, God bless the US Military, God bless privatized healthcare, God bless Capitalism and all the wealth and prosperity it's brought the West from the rich down to the poor, and God bless you because it sounds like you bloody-well need it. I used to think like you, I really did, I hate a hate-hard-on for America, a borderline-violent hatred for America and Americans, but oh have i seen the light. Thank God Obama is gone! America is made great once again, now in 2020, we will KEEP America Great! Hopefully come October we'll get Maxime "Mad Max" Bernier as Prime Minister. He's the closest we have to Donald Trump, which is kinda funny, because he's a French Canadien with a pretty blatant accent. Still, he wants to scrap magazine restrictions on firearms, decrease taxes (particularly on small business owners), decrease the amount of power at the Federal Level to give more control (and I think responsibility) at the Provincial level, and actively speaks out against political correctness and fake news. God bless Mad Max!

[Anonymous No.13442910]

>>13423277
I’ve recently got a huge interest in synthwave. The only way I can describe it as nostalgia for a place I’ve never been. Its calming, relaxing, yet addictive and repetitive as it just drives home a central theme. I love the mechanical sound, the only thing is that I can only find shitty playlists, anyone have any artist/album recs?

[Anonymous No.13442931]

I think I fucked up the interview.

[Anonymous No.13442973]

>>13442910
Check out 2 8 1 4

[Anonymous No.13442988]

>>13442973
Thanks anon will do

[Anonymous No.13443121]

Is this generation too much ideologically influenced? (I don't mean in a strictly political sense where you label people as left/right, but the things that get shoved down your throat)

I stumble upon comments that say how it's hard to approach women because they are afraid of being labeled as rapist or how we've become too sensitive or things about the current general social climate or whatever and in this regard I ask myself what happened to the good old conservative approach of having a strict code regarding sexuality for example (e.g. no sex before marriage) and simply not giving a crap about it.

I'm aware of Zizek's "ideology works even if you don't don't believe in it", but do people nowadays believe too much in it?

[Anonymous No.13443424]

saving up to quit job and launch tech startup

[Anonymous No.13443428]

Have have themes, characters, and a few setpieces I'd like to write but I have no fucking clue how to thread them all together, let alone start the story.

[Anonymous No.13443441]

>>13424564
This is fucking trash mate. Easy on the edge next time

[Anonymous No.13443521]

>>13423271
> just bound another book
> turned out quiet nice
feels good. how's your hobby going, bruv?

[Anonymous No.13443541]

>>13443428
start by fleshing out the bits, they don't have to be connected yet. once you start writing and adding detail, they tangle together without much effort on your side. or you'll end up expanding each piece to makeseparate stories
>>13442910
based, i unironically listen to vaporvawe radio when working

[Anonymous No.13443598]

>>13443521
fug:DDD i meant quite
also just read Stranger. i still like Sartrrtrtrerrere more

[Anonymous No.13443604]

>>13443541
I love the instrumental aspect, but there is still a lot of feeling/vibe/aesthetic/theme whatever you want to call it pushed through without it

[Anonymous No.13443820]

>>13443604
i just warmly love the synthwave/vaporwave/webpunk aesthetic. there's something pleasantly ironic and comfy about it, the irony isn't evil like in most other e-fads (fried memes, "badass" thigs, most weeb content, etc) and you can actually listen to the music, unlike some overjacked witchouse trap that's just screeching with extra bass

[Anonymous No.13443823]

I'M TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND NEON GENESIS EVANGELION

[Anonymous No.13444107]

>>13440588
i'm training for the same thing. godspeed

[Anonymous No.13444115]

>mfw economics is the allocation of scarce resources with alternative uses

[Anonymous No.13444121]

>>13440588
>Imagine the blue sky stretched out above you with a rifle strapped to your back. You carry dry goods and toys for the children which you give out at the remote villages you visit. You confer with your contacts, pass your respects to the elders, and then lead your patrol over the ridge and onwards into the next valley. Death stalks the hills, but your pony is swift.
for a wonderfully peaceful moment there, I felt this with perfect clarity. thank you, anon.

[Anonymous No.13444147]

>>13441441
how'd it go?

[Anonymous No.13444219]

My friend stopped talking to me because of a couple of books I rated on goodreads.

[Anonymous No.13444454]

>>13444147

I'm not sure now that I've taken a nap. I think it went sort of okay. I rambled a bit but it seemed okay. It was pretty casual. I'll know in a week.

[Anonymous No.13444569]

>>13443521
Damn, that's pretty cool.
Any recommendations as to how one would get into bookbinding? Is there any way for an amateur to rebind paperback books into hardcovers, like libraries sometimes do?

[Anonymous No.13444820]

My mom is refusing to talk to me for some reason. Really passive aggressive, no idea why

[Anonymous No.13444903]

>>13444820
See what you last rated on Goodreads that might've upset her.

[Anonymous No.13444983]

>>13439356
No, I'm from the United States. Just decided to stop in Indonesia for a few days before flying to India.

Really regret picking Jakarta as my port of entry, though. Absolute fucking bore of a city--I can't wait to fly out tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.13445127]

>>13443820
Yes the listenability! It’s feels good to look at pics that make you feel comfy but to actually be able to listen to it and be in jt

[Anonymous No.13445135]

>>13443521
Fuck you, tell me how to do that!

[Anonymous No.13445660]

>>13440723
>only once one relies only upon themselves can they ever truly rely upon outer structures of belief whether named religion, ideology or race.
As much as I repeat to myself "you can rely on me" I still feel the same anxieties.
How does one learn to trust themselves?

[Anonymous No.13445670]

So I guess I'm a pandeist now, ant ideas on how to turn that belief into a practical praxological lifestyle? I want to live it, not have it simply be a belief I hold

[Anonymous No.13445696]

Fucking random sadness, I hope i can bury it tomorrow

[Anonymous No.13445779]

I have constant migraines and it drives me up the wall. I have other problems too and I've spent the past three years going to the doctor in and out and I'm so over it all. I don't trust doctors anymore. I don't think they are able to fix anything unless it's a very literal physical ailment. But I'm suffering.

[Anonymous No.13445860]

Pizzagate is real, and everyone involved deserves to be burned at the stake.

[Anonymous No.13445864]

>>13445860
what is pizzagate, some human trafficking thing?

[Anonymous No.13445884]

>>13445864
https://web.archive.org/web/20161122082642/https://www.reddit.com/r/pizzagate/comments/5e72zv/on_the_legitimacy_of_this_investigation_with_an/
Just lurk more. I know most people on here don't like /pol/, but they will open your eyes to stuff like Epstein and other "conspiracies."

[Anonymous No.13445893]

>>13445884
I really don't have the necessary amount of interest to actually research this. I don't mind /pol/ but I am no longer in that phase where I feel I have to urgently uncover all these conspiracies, Im sure there are shitloads of them and that the people running the world are assholes, the particular ways in which theyre assholes just seem irrelevant to me now.

I know who epstein is, he ran a child sex ring right? Saw something about him on twitter today, that he had been protected by some government agency.

[Anonymous No.13445904]

>>13445893
Epstein is a billionaire pedophile with countless connections, include those of Donald Trump and Bill Clinton. Epstein has a private island in the Caribbean where he held orgies with underage girls, and he would fly people like Clinton and other prominent figures to come there.

Shit's gonna go down in a week or so when the court documents are released.

[Anonymous No.13446068]

Interaction is scary

[Anonymous No.13446080]

>>13438276
Based. What instruments do you plan anon?

[Anonymous No.13446098]

I have a problem where I can’t get myself to do anything. I love to socialize and would say I’m an extrovert, I love to read can go 300 pages if left uninterrupted, I feel bliss when I play music. I can never get myself to start doing these things and I feel dread at the thought of actually trying. I don’t know how to get over this. Feel that I’ll ultimately end up wasting my life through inaction even when I fucking enjoy it when I start. Suicide seems a better option than wallowing away like this and making my family bear witness to their once Chad son rot

[Anonymous No.13446120]

Speaking to her just showed me how lonely I am. And how immature I am, too. I could feel my own desperation and it saddens me.

[Anonymous No.13446233]

>>13444569
i tried once, as one of my favorite books was a defective paperback (some pages werent glued in at all). i went with sticking all the loose leaves together in correct order, but printer paper strips which i used added an absurd amount of bulk to the spine. ended up looking like utter shite, but very readable. pic
i didn't know about whip stitch binding that's specifically for loose leaf books at that time
i just watched youtube tutorials tbhon

[Anonymous No.13446244]

>>13445135
not that difficult bruv, just watch some guides. it took me maybe 3.5 hours total, including aging the paper. dirt cheap as well, for training you'd only need some cardboard, thread and paper

[Anonymous No.13446266]

>>13443121
Not sure if i get exactly what you're getting at anon, but i've thought some similar things. For me, I think that our hyper-mediated landscape allows people to buy into ideology a lot more easily than if they had been left to their own devices. What I mean is, like, people will say that they are afraid of being accused of being a rapist, but they might not have any actual real-life experience of this threat. They read about it online, and they construct a symbolic interpretation of women based off online discourse, which scares them off approaching them in real life.

That's not to say such things DON'T happen in real life, but that the media version gets mistaken for the reality. I see this a lot with my own parents. They say things like "the world is so much more violent and turbulent now than ever before." Then I remind them that they literally grew up during The Troubles, and that they now live in a remarkably safe part of the world. But the FEELING of being unsafe is still there, even if we're aware it is exaggerated.

None of this is my unique perspective of course, but I do think the internet exacerbates it.

[Anonymous No.13446388]

taking xanax on the weekends is the only thing i look forward to anymore

[Anonymous No.13446504]

>>13446266
> but that the media version gets mistaken for the reality.
i feel this way too.
your parents (and most people these days) fall for what i call the Cancer Fallacy, they think there were far lower "cancer rates" in the past, simply because it was rarely diagnosed or not known about at all. these days there's an unprecedented amount of visibility, esp. regarding bad things, and the infamous "vocal minorities" are heard by much more people. it creates a nasty illusion most people take for truth.

[Anonymous No.13447136]

> tfw can feel my mind fragmenting and nosediving into schizo states
daydreaming's never been this vivid though, i dont mind it

[Anonymous No.13447695]

>>13447136
Trust me, you don't want to go on the other side. Schizophrenia will lead to ruin if mismanaged, and managing it is impossible. All you can do is hope something manages to pull you out. Once you're far too gone, there is no coming back. You will cascade into increasing instability that further and further degrades your ability to reason with yourself and understand actuality. It's a fucking nightmare.

[Anonymous No.13447983]

How to stop my vidya addiction guys?

[Anonymous No.13448833]

>>13447983
Find something to replace it. I’ve found the reason I had an addiction in the first place was because I had nothing else to do.

[Anonymous No.13448852]

愛。その言葉はきれいな。でもちょっと。彼氏が欲しいな。

[Anonymous No.13449648]

I keep having these intrusive thoughts about some story playing before my eyes. Not of anyone famous or noble, quite an ordinary life by any measure, but filled with intense suffering. Seeing a bakery owner losing his wife in a tragic car accident. A white collar waggie whose wife left him a decade ago has to confront his son who thinks he ran out on him when he did everything to fight for her to stay, to get custody when that failed, tried to get visitation justified by the large percentage of his check that goes to chikd support, but the son believes he is the devil incarnate and a compulsive liar due to the toxoc mother. A football coach who puts a kid in the last game of the season to try and get him to feel passion for the sport like coach does, gets a concussion that leads to his death. All these long and complicated stories violate my mind and play from beginning to end. I would write them out, but who wants to read a slice of someone's life that is only suffering and doesn't ever resolve? I should write them out, but I wish to not have anyone suffer like I do.

Please give advice

[Anonymous No.13449837]

>>13447695
Not him, but you seem to talk from experience... I am right?

[Anonymous No.13449842]

>>13423461
Rec you read the spirit of terrorism by Baudrillard.

[Anonymous No.13449848]

>>13446388
me with weed and booze. but it's okay, since i'm productive during the week.

[Anonymous No.13449873]

>>13424768
>pursuit of truth
>He thinks truth exists
Yeah, you might as well give up

[Anonymous No.13449917]

My parents don't care about me at all outside of how they use me to validate their religious beliefs. My personality, my interests, my future -none of it matters. All they want me to do is tick off their "good Christian son" box, and if I don't do that I'm dead to them. I thought their coldness and wing clipping was because of something I did and it's taken me a long time to realize that the problem is entirely their perspective. I don't owe them anything. They would have been much happier with a dog

[Anonymous No.13450016]

>>13429301
Legitimately retarded book anyways. First chapter starts off good, until he reveals himself as a nihilist and reveals the body without organs as "nonproductive", then later talks of "the forces that the body without organs exert" (or produces, but that would destroy his whole concept lol). Even deleuze and Guattari are completely lost themselves by page 10 lol.

[Anonymous No.13450022]

>>13450016
They*, when I think of anti-oedipus my mind jumps to deleuze.

[Anonymous No.13450029]

>>13447983
Swim 3 miles a day.

[Anonymous No.13450204]

My political views have turned toward the absolutely nihilistic. All I think of is that political power exists to create war among subjugated populations and that peace and unity are not wanted by anyone unless a Matrix-style hivemind-for-profit is created. I don't think any institutions of power are "legitimate" and I don't think any political organizations, thinktanks, or even grassroots movements exist with the hope of a mutually good life in mind. It seems like the only way out is death or mental institution. I know this sounds edgy but as soon as "the political" worms its way into my mind I really do become this miserable.

[Anonymous No.13450356]

Back in 8th grade while sitting in morning devotions at my private Christian middle school one of the teachers played a prank on us. It was their turn to lead the meeting and she started off by randomly naming kids in each class, half of each class. She invited them onto the stage and closed the curtains. I was not chosen. She then began to read from behind the stage passages about how many are called and few are chosen, those who were not called will be cast into outer darkness where there will be weeping and knashing of teeth. I thought the world had ended in that moment and was going to be eternally damned for being born a dinner, missing the mark

I felt so guilty after, I rushed out of the auditorium after the meeting was over and cried in the bathroom. This was one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. I had a nervous breakdowns months after and had to be hospitalized because of self harm. I haven't forgiven that teacher to this day. (She wasn't even the teacher that sucker punched me after I started crying in art class (more on that story if anyone's interested)) if I knew what a state review board was back then, I probably would have, or at least should have reported that teacher. The moral of this story is: Don't send your kids to religious school

[Anonymous No.13450837]

I wish to be united with the Divine Feminine once again

[Anonymous No.13450916]

>>13450837
Women are whores

[Anonymous No.13451042]

>>13450356
these religious school thing seems like hell. my ex-gf used to go to one and they sure fucked her head too.
>She wasn't even the teacher that sucker punched me after I started crying in art class (more on that story if anyone's interested))
yep, i'm interested, anon. give those juicy details

[Anonymous No.13451084]

>>13451042
So basically
>self portrait time in art class
>lead pencils only
>I had been having a lot of identity issues prior and just couldn't stand the sight of my own face
>didn't even try to do the project, just sat there staring at the canvas
>teacher noticed and pulled me outside of the classroom
>started to break down and explain to him what the problem was
>I lowered my head and he punched me in the face (there might have been a cane involved, he was old and I can't remember some details)
>I go back in with a welt on my forehead and start drawing
>I finish and get best in class.

The teacher felt sorry for me and apologized a few years later, shared with me his life story.
>Born in Iowa, abandoned by his parents and raised by his grandparents
>football star, interested in art, too poor to go to college, gets drafted into the army
>stationed in the Dominican Republic during their civil war, sees combat, gets pinned down by a sniper at one point.
>his years in the army are over, hitches a ride over on a cargo ship to europe, lives homeless in paris for a few years, studies under the remaining impressionists.
>comes back to america, takes over his grandparents farm, finds Jesus, gets married, and becomes the only art teacher at his churches home school (my alma mater)

I had a few years of good relationship with him until a couple of months ago. I had been having some sexuality and gender problems (as I'm sure most people on this website can relate). He came out of the blue and wanted to meet with me. We went to a coffee shop and talked. He said he was having his own problems with gender and sexuality, said he was considering getting a sex change as a 75+ year old man. RED FLAGS. I clammed up and didn't really talk to him besides pleasantries. I found out later that my parents had been digging through my teenage diaries and read about my problems. Now, I'm not sure if he was been sincere or trying to smoke me out, it really pays off to be paranoid. I don't think I can trust him anymore (I was an idiot for ever making up with him)

[Anonymous No.13451171]

>>13451084
>I go back in with a welt on my forehead and start drawing
>I finish and get best in class.
I guess it worked lmao. But holy shit, anon, crazy story. This professor/student thing is so common, I guess a lot of people have daddy issues lol

[Anonymous No.13451240]

>>13451171
That might have just been him trying to encourage me with a good grade. Sometimes I forget how crazy my life has been

[Anonymous No.13451401]

>This is it
>THIS IS IT
I am about to enter my mid 20's. These are the fucking best years of my life and I have been wasting them, I've been living like I'm 15, thinking that I still have time to "turn things around later", living an unexamined life were I settle for little, very little.
Holy fuck , I'll be fucking old and sick and dying soon, I mean FUCK best case scenario by 40 I'll start fucking dying. There are the best years of my life, and I am still living them like an idiot. I still waste my time on retarded hobbies based on pipe dreams and invented neuroses.
I wasted so many chances, fucked up so many things, wasted so much time. Right now I could be somewhere BETTER, leagues better, but instead I'm still here, and if I don't do something I'll be here forever.
Maybe it's too late for me, I could have been in a better place but not anymore, I was a shortsighted idiot my whole life and only now I see it. Maybe it is literally too late for me.
I'll never travel to another country, I'll never see beyond the small piece of land I know,
None of my dreams will come true, not a single one of them. I will be a fucking failure.
I was lucky enough to be born in the right conditions to have a shot at a better lie, but I was born retarded.
My one shot at life, and this will be it? Is this really all I have left? Is this what it is going to be? Holy fuck,I can't blame anyone or anything. I am a fucking idiot and I can't help but hate myself, I want to bang my fucking head against a wall.
From now on, I'll live as if I still have time, I'll give it my all to improving my life, to make ONE of my dreams come true, I have to make it. I don't fucking care what it takes I fucking want it, I don't want to die like this, I don't want to live like this, I can't let it happen like this, jesus fuck I don't want to die without one dream realized.
Holy fuck I keep telling myself I still have time but I don't fucking know
Oh god please, one dream, let me have enough time to sacrifice to one dream.

[Anonymous No.13451442]

>>13449648
I understand exactly how you feel.
The thought that anyone is exposed to having their lives reduced to the most miserable horror and pain without any reason (including our loved ones and ourselves) is fucking intense.
The fact that the vivid fantasies I have of parents losing their children to cancer, people being permanently crippled by accidents that were no fault of their own, people being tortured all their lives by some sick fuck that gets off on their suffering, all those fantasies feel like they happened and kept happening over and over again.
Beyond what our senses can perceive, millions are suffering, millions are living lives that are NOTHING but suffering, millions more lives were good up to this point (even blessed) but now are nothing but torment.
Reality is the scariest thing there is, and its all there is.

Definitely write it out, that will help you get rid of it. Any way you choose to do it will suffice. Also, simply try not to dwell too much on those thoughts when they come to you.

[Anonymous No.13451460]

>>13451401
It was always already too late. That doesn't mean you can't make positive improvements however.

[Anonymous No.13451483]

>>13451460
I had everything anon, I literally had everything.
Except a fucking brain.

[Anonymous No.13451516]

I've been so depressed lately I don't even have the urge to smoke or drink. Which is strange because usually my cravings are strong, and stronger when I'm depressed. But I feel so detached from everything I don't even want to do any of that. It doesn't make sense. I guess I should count myself lucky. I feel nothing, not even the urge to feel something again.

[Anonymous No.13451745]

>>13451442
When they get too intense, I try to write it out. There's this horrible feeling like something is trying to tear my heart through my ribcage. Last time I wrote, I had this vision just before getting out of my car for In'n'Out. I was standing idly by watching this guy who had his face cut off. He was laying there motionless for a moment, then started screaming, but he already lost his voice, so it wasn't loud. He tried to reach for his face, but his hands were cut off. A guy took a box cutter and started slashing at his throat. The guy tried to protect his throat, but two guys came up and held his arms down. The sounds he made still haunt me 3 years after I experienced that vision-like fantasy. I can post that shitty short story in an hour

[Anonymous No.13451857]

>>13440943
what's wrong bud

[Anonymous No.13451892]

>>13450356
my 3rd grade teacher pretended to paddle my ass in the closet to scare my classmates into being quiet

it was our little secret

[Anonymous No.13451905]

>>13447695
i'm planning to kms beforr completely detaching from reality. i can still grasp it firmly and pass as normal, and i don't think it's real schizophrenia, iirc it's not running in my family.
i know you're not aware if fully submerged in this state, but you can feel it coming ..right?

[Anonymous No.13451906]

>>13451401
what dreams are you missing out on that can't be achieved in later in life anon? Your mid twenties don't have to be the best or most productive years

[Anonymous No.13451914]

>>13447695
are you talking from personal experience? How did you push through it??

[Anonymous No.13452190]

>>13451905
>but you can feel it coming ..right?

I think often it's more that you realise afterwards.

[Anonymous No.13452236]

It has been beautiful. Life. Its sunsets and rivers, the destitute valleys, they have all came together for me. Me and my ilk. Nothing is so sweet as to have been saved twice. Saved from the cold maw of commitment. You all think I'm not capable of doing the big thing. I see it all in your eyes. I see it in the footfalls of white snowdrifts. We all keep it together as best we can, I don't. We all see clearly, not me. My vision has become muddled. The sun over the hill is blurred and the nights are never the same color. What am I talking about? I think you understand as well as I do. It's all in the pantsuit. The faded book spines on the shelf. So go ahead and drop that pen, and say what you're going to say, because I won't be listening. Not anymore.

[Anonymous No.13452311]

>>13432810
anon, neither of those are ambient (except SAW 2)...

[Anonymous No.13452343]

I feel like if i try to improve myself, i will start to hate and not understand my past (now current) self.

[Anonymous No.13452347]

I think I'm finally there /lit/. I think I've finally reached the point where I am OK with not having a significant other of any kind, not climbing the traditional staircase of life, no kids, no concern for social status or material accumulation. This is it. I'm really here. Now it's time to devote my life to the pursuit of honest, aesthetic living. The path ahead is clear.

[Anonymous No.13452419]

>>13452236
beautiful and romanticpilled.
> mfw hopeless romantic about some things, yet i hate romantic depictions of love
i wish there were more eloquent works that won't revolve around love.

[Anonymous No.13452427]

>>13452343
detach from your past self, as you've risen above It. not you anymore.
>>13452347
i've always felt this way. don't be tragic about it - it's much more honest and high-spirited then forcing your life into "wife-kids-work" mold when you're clearly not made for it.

[Anonymous No.13452680]

>>13451401

[Anonymous No.13453298]

>>13452680
Here's the trick to not having a meaningless life.

>Find meaning.

Generally this can be done by adopting responsibility in one way or another. For many, it's getting into a meaningful relationship and starting a family, that's what I want with my life. I want to raise my children with the love of Christ in their hearts, a love that will encourage them to be courageous and strong, to try and do the right thing even in the face of adversity. Hopefully, before my time comes, they will find someone that they love as well and so I can have at least some role, however small, in my grandchildren's upbringing.

For others, maybe they'll do this all the same but it could be more of a desire for their wife than themselves. Sure, they'd love their children, I should hope, and will partake in raising them to be good and productive members of society, but there's other meanings that they seek. Perhaps in science, advancing medicine, or technology. Maybe they want to feed people and so they buy land, expensive machinery, and so they grow FIELDS of crops and harvest it to sell at reasonable price. One profession I could see myself getting into is something firearm related, I love firearms and I find a lot of purpose and meaning in them. Some see them as machines for death and destruction, I see them as fascinating machines of hobby but also, perhaps even more importantly, self-preservation and sustenance. It's a sword and shield to protect one's family that even the wife/mother could use to keep away male predators. It's a method of acquiring meat to feed your partner and children, perhaps even extended family too, which is very common. You could bottle some up and give some to neighbours, and this can directly benefit you too. If you find you're lacking in something, or need some extra muscle, try asking them for help. If they're good and decent, they will help, either with the meat at the forefront of their mind and so they want to pay you back, or it's merely a shadow at the back of their mind but it none the less makes them all too happy to reciprocate.

It could be neither family nor a profession. Perhaps it's to serve God, to lead a congregation and try to help them individually if possible, or to be at the side of such a leader to lend your support. Meaning could be found in volunteering. Homeless shelters, food banks, soup kitchens... there's a lot of suffering and vulnerable people out there. I myself have been shown kindness at ALL those locations, since I myself have been homeless. It could be a combination; a psychologist makes money from what they do but also does great good with people on an individual basis. You could aim for more money by going with high-dollar clients, or aim for a higher workload with lower pay by aiming at those who struggle financially but still need psychological help.

So, look inside yourself and find your meaning. Your purpose.

[Anonymous No.13453411]

I never had any big dreams, like most people seem to have. I mean, maybe when I was younger... But I guess having to work shitty jobs since I was 15 made me realize how bad things can be, so I just try to live a confortable life and thats it. I also don't think about the future at all anymore and that's so liberating, I feel free and just try to do the best I can from the oportunities life give me. I started college this year, but I' still don't have a plan of what I'm going to do with my degree, but I don't worry to much about that, sometimes it feels like things always work, in a way or another, you just gotta be smart and don't panick when life opens a door for you.