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/lit/ - Literature

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12781157 No.12781157 [Reply] [Original]

/haiku/

Write haiku.

>> No.12781166 [DELETED] 

Fuck jannies and mods
Fuck niggers and fuck trannies,
All of them are scum

>> No.12781172

Fuck the internet
Wasting all our time on here
Let's do something else

>> No.12781173

>>12781157
There once was a man
From Nantucket whose cock was
So long he could suck

>> No.12781176

Since one sometimes comes across the idea that haiku read like shopping lists:

horlicks
spotted dick sponge
clotted cream

>> No.12781186

Once I
NO
Not again

>> No.12781198

>>12781172
This is really bad.
Reads like a robot wrote it.
Do you see my point?

>> No.12781228

The dogmatic insistence on the 5-7-5 pattern triggers my autistic rage. Great haiku poets know that the form is a tool. Tools help you achieve your goals. It seems that, to an overwhelming extent, what little haiku education there is in the West merely gives the tool but does not teach what it is for. Thus we get all these suffocated pseudo-haiku.

>> No.12781369

>>12781228
Well of course, why the hell would Westerns be thoroughly educated in haiku form, don't be silly you fucking weeb

>> No.12781370

This site can’t be reached
The connection was reset.
Try:

>> No.12781397

/lit/ is a shit board
but other sites are still worse
mogami river

>> No.12781458 [DELETED] 

>>12781157
In dead of winter
cherry blossoms ignite
imagination

>> No.12781463

in dead of winter
cherry blossoms ignite the
imagination

>> No.12781466

>>12781369
It's not merely a shallow education, it's a miseducation. It leaves people thinking that:

kek kek kek kek kek
kek kek kek kek kek kek kek
kek kek kek kek kek

has just as much right to be called haiku as any work of the traditional masters. That simply isn't true.

>> No.12781467

>>12781228
so write one and show us how it's done

>> No.12781488 [DELETED] 

>>12781467
I've been writing haiku for years and I majored in Asian studies
I grasped my lady's
Hand, and her insistence that
I not broke my heart

>> No.12781492

>>12781157

Falling deep into this well
The moon
over my head


...

>> No.12781494

>>12781467
I'll bite. I'm not claiming that this is a masterpiece, but it's closer to the true spirit of haiku than anything in this thread (sorry for my autistic irritability):

The seagull settles
On the sunburnt pavement.
Slam the breaks!

>> No.12781501

>>12781494
*brakes
fuck am I dumb

>> No.12781516 [DELETED] 

>>12781494
Good attempt but I'd like to change it a bit
The seagull lays down
On the flaming asphalt
And I'm so weary

>> No.12781527

The Cheeto Puff Man

Family sized bag
One bag for only one boy
So much pain inside

The Cheeto Puff Man
That is my name now I say
The bag is now gone

I am a monster
Each thing I touch turns cheesy
Someone help me please

Help me help me help
I know how it all will end
I must touch myself

Things are better now
Six months since the disaster
Now I cannot harm

>> No.12781533 [DELETED] 

>>12781467
Here's another

The wind raped my senses
Into a literal nothing
And I'm positively flushèd

>> No.12781541

>>12781488
>>12781494
>>12781533
yeah, none of these were as good as mine
>>12781463

>> No.12781546

>>12781466
but that technically is a haiku you retard. i could take a shit on a canvas, call it abstract art, and it's still abstract art

>> No.12781549 [DELETED] 

Come, come, my sweet, Therese,
And, with heart, give me hell,
That I, in some way, may climb

>> No.12781562 [DELETED] 

>>12781541
It's not evocative enough

In the corpse of winter
blossoms of cherry engulf
my pensiveness

>> No.12781564 [DELETED] 
File: 303 KB, 274x185, yikes..gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12781564

>>12781488
I majored in Asian studies and have been writing haiku for years

LMAO

>> No.12781576

>>12781562
cringe

>> No.12781578 [DELETED] 

>>12781564
What's funny about it

Oh, sweet,
Give me my necesseties
That we may come to some halt

>> No.12781584
File: 303 KB, 274x185, yikes..gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12781584

>>12781488
>I've been writing haiku for years and majored in Asian studies

>> No.12781595

>>12781562
you just took a decent haiku and made it sound try-hard as fuck

>> No.12781596 [DELETED] 

>>12781584
Why did you delete your post LOL

I am not a man
in that I do not keep a
head on my neck, oh

>> No.12781609 [DELETED] 

>>12781595
How?

La espoja en mi mar
she sang with sweet silences
So sad and softly

>> No.12781611

>>12781516
Oh, I like that. You have the leisurely activity of the seagull subtly "mirroring" the speaker's weariness, and the "flaming" asphalt both embellishes and contrasts with the feeling of the rest of the piece (the weariness that comes with a hot day, and the "warmth" of the flames against the "coolness" of the seagull image and the speaker's comment). I'd say this is skillfully done, anon, and that your skills surpass my own. If there is a "however," it's that my poem was an attempt to capture an actual experience I had, and your version is, well, a different poem from what I am trying to capture. There really was a seagull settling down in the middle of the road right in front of my car on a hot day, and I really was startled by it and stopped until it chose to fly away. Luckily, there weren't other cars around. It was one of the precious little moments in life that haiku is better at expressing than any other form, and I would really like to capture the beauty of that experience as strongly and sincerely as I can.

>> No.12781615

>>12781596
I didn't green text it correctly

>> No.12781625

>>12781546
you're just demonstrating the point
you know less than the Wikipedia page, yet you think you know what you're talking about

>> No.12781629 [DELETED] 

>>12781611
Ok but yours was just really bad honestly. Haiku are meant to make you feel

Leave me alone!
I said on that hot day
With the storm raping me

>> No.12781633

>>12781629
well yours just make us cringe.

but I guess that counts, eh?

>> No.12781634

>>12781629
>poetry is meant to evoke emotion

you don't say

>> No.12781636

>>12781157
Yet another time
The same old thread, so boring
OP is a fag

>> No.12781639 [DELETED] 

>>12781633
Can you do it better? Let's write one about birth

The fetus was a baby
and it came out of her womb
With blood and other substances

>> No.12781641

>>12781157
no

>> No.12781642 [DELETED] 

>>12781634
And it seems like you all fail at that

Failure
is not called failure
Without a death of some sort

>> No.12781643

>>12781595
That anon made it much better. Their version is more creative, actually stirs the imagination like the poem describes, and has a much stronger sense of atmosphere. It FEELS pensive and imaginative, where the original just states it..

>> No.12781657

>>12781629
I'm trying to express the simple beauty of a seagull sitting in the road, and my surprise and panic when I almost fucking killed it with my car. I was going for a contrast between the stillness and serenity of the seagull and my own excitement and panic. I think it's a funny situation, too. I might suck at this, but I am trying to express genuine emotion.

>> No.12781659

>>12781639
>the fetus was a baby

sorry, but I'd feel bad about competing with a an anglo self-proclaimed haiku expert. typically I try to be nice to mentally challenged, not rub their deficiencies in their faces.

>> No.12781664 [DELETED] 

>>12781643
no, he destroyed it. it's not cohesive.

a corpse
cherry blossoms
pensiveness

it has to fucking make sense.

>> No.12781667

>>12781625
oh yea? well come here
let me poop on your chest and
spank your ass a bit

>> No.12781672 [DELETED] 

>>12781657
You got the chops you just gotta follow my lead. I've been taught by actual haikuists.
>>12781659
Explain why that's wrong

Call me Ishmael
or call me what-you-will
but do not call me out

>> No.12781678

>>12781664
Contrast and surprise are key elements in haiku. The original version lacks those qualities. Anon's fix, well, fixes it.

>> No.12781679

>>12781643
in dead of winter is the atmosphere, you dimwit. the stillness. the silence. the cold.

and then a flash of color and explosion

and then you realize it is all in the mind.

that the silence and the stillness prevails.

his "improved-upon" version distracts you with a try hard word "corpse", which RUINS the atmosphere. now you see a corpse and feel nothing. and that destroys the rest of the haiku. it has no where to return because it had no atmosphere from the beginning.

>> No.12781688 [DELETED] 

>>12781664
>>12781679
>death
>winter
>cherries
>ignition
>imagination
As if yours made any sense to begin with but I can work with it. And why do you keep deleting your posts?
>>12781678
Thank you

Snow falling on my neck
decapitates me, adam's apple like a
cherry in my throat and it sparks a thought.

>> No.12781694

>>12781667
this anon gets this thread
we should only fight in verse
haiku is pref'rable

>> No.12781699

>>12781688
jesus christ this is why you don't argue with a white haiku expert. I knew I should have just posted and moved on.

>look at all the contrast, that juxtaposition, that surprise. that's not what haiku is about. hurr hurr.

>> No.12781701

>>12781694
your mother gave head
in exchange for your new shoes
so enjoy them kiddo

>> No.12781702

Roommate
Left my Oven on again when I had Asked him not too

>> No.12781708

>>12781672
What if I change the last line to "My tires shriek."? It's not perfect, as its very close to the cliché of screeching tires, but I wonder if it might at least be closer to the right direction than the closing line I originally posted. Maybe "my tires sing," or something like that. It's further from the cliché, and maybe even subverts it. If I have the tires "sing," the reader understands what is meant, since it's close to a common expression, but it adds the sense that my slamming on the breaks is part of beauty of the moment. My only worry is that it has a bit less energy than the original iteration. What do you think?

>> No.12781721

>>12781701
Hah! Clever jokester
My mother bought me no shoes
Born without any feet

>> No.12781731

>>12781721
will you please insert
your stubby little leggies
into my rectum?

>> No.12781734 [DELETED] 

>>12781708
I would say My wheels scream and shout at the bird
>>12781699
But that is what it's about

>> No.12781738

>>12781679
Death and winter are strongly associated; if you understand this, the expression in the poem makes perfect sense.

>> No.12781748

>>12781731
only one can fit
two might be pushing it, no?
oh well, here we go!

>> No.12781755

Moon against milky away
Stars shining with divine light
Don't come to school later

>> No.12781760

What's this? Actual discussion about literary merit on MY /lit/? Bless you all.

>> No.12781778

>>12781734
I will take it into consideration. I'll probably keep fiddling with this poem; I might post an update somewhere on here at some point.
I'm afraid I have to go for now. Thank you for your time and input.

>> No.12781781

>>12781760
hush! Listen or join!
just remarking helps no board
but come, and discuss!

>> No.12781788

>>12781748
explosive cumshot
white as fresh snow is the rope
tiring ecstasy

>> No.12781797

I never knew why
They never cared to ask me
So I sit and wait

>> No.12781799 [DELETED] 

>>12781778
I'm just joking please don't take my advice seriously

>> No.12781800

>>12781788
shameful regret now
anally vored a small child
you should be ashamed

>> No.12781801

milkers with milky
tendies flowing straight to tum
good boy points paid off

>> No.12781808

>>12781800
i check the doubles
just like the man on t.v.
my turn, please check em

>> No.12781819

>>12781808
oh, no such luck there
perhaps you meant something more
like these digits here?

>> No.12781821

>>12781799
aw, man...

>> No.12781826

>>12781173
underrated post

>> No.12781829

warmth of dear mother
and the most ancient goddess
pour milk in our mouth

>> No.12781832

>>12781819
my friend, we have both
committed fatal plunder
perhaps we are curs'd?

>> No.12781835

>>12781760
too bad we're all dumbasses and this all reads like a bad joke

>> No.12781836

>>12781788
and now we reach it
Crowley's book alive on chan
hello, great white stains!

>> No.12781841

>>12781832
nay, we have been blessed!
both cum-post and vore are dubs
digits don't last, like snow

>> No.12781848

>>12781832
Digits have been checked.
You're one number off from dubs.
Fate is mocking us.

>> No.12781872

Browsing threads on /lit/
I see /haiku/, click, and read.
Grimace turns to grin.

>> No.12781889
File: 314 KB, 694x378, durst-sensei.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12781889

rollin, rollin dubs
rollin', rollin', rollin' dubs
rollin', rollin' dubs

>> No.12781897

>>12781872
it brings me much joy
to know our silly haikus
have made you happier

>> No.12781900

Fuck this haiku shit.
This is now a doubles thread.
Check 'em, cringey weebs.

>> No.12781904

>>12781900
joke is on you, fool
we already got dubs here
cease your senseless speech

>> No.12781912

>>12781904
"Cease your senseless speech"?
Don't you know how this place works?
Dubs are never wrong!

>> No.12781927

>>12781912
dubs, dubs, and more dubs!
sure, those digits can be nice
but check out these trips!

>> No.12781941

>>12781927
I am getting old,
But I see clearly no dubs,
Fucking idiot.

>> No.12781958

Thread looks popular...
*85/2/17*
Circle-jerk in here.

>> No.12781964

>>12781941
*trips

>> No.12781966

>>12781900
astoundingly based
several dubs have been had
truly blessed thread

>>12781958
look you stupid bitch
we are having a fun thread
go post frogs somewhere

>> No.12781975

well now this is strange
while pacing my house for drink
I think in haiku!

>> No.12781994

>>12781157
Hmm...I'm not sure I understand what a haiku even is, but I'll give it a shot anyway...

old pond
frog jumps in
splash!

>> No.12782002

>>12781994
based

>> No.12782099

>>12781994
Wow, anon! Impressively, this is subtly reminiscent of one of the genre's most iconic poems. I am speaking, of course, of the following piece by Barbara Ungar:

rain drums
the watering can
now now now now now

You were inadvertently participating in the great haiku tradition of using the sound of water to add action and life to a still image. Note you can almost hear the rain in Barbara's "now now now now now".

>> No.12782103

>>12781994
there it is, folks. we can all go home.

>> No.12782111
File: 1.92 MB, 280x211, jebwhatthefuck.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12782111

>>12782099

>> No.12782130

>>12781994
that's not 5-7-5 though, anon
here, I fixed it for you:

here is an old pond
a green, sad frog jumps in it
the water goes 'splash!'

much better now, no?

>> No.12782163

A light bulb sputters
and it begins to fade out
I'm burning for you

>> No.12782321

If it will be gone
Like a cooling sumer wind
It's gone already

>> No.12782331

>>12781157
its a new dawn mate
shits bloody bollocks, feel me?
i oughta slap ya

>> No.12783449

>>12781494
Here is my take:
The seagull seems stuck
To the melting asphalt.
Oh, well: squish, squash, splat!

>> No.12783458

Bit a haiku but I found this on my phone after a blackout

I don't ever write poems

Oh peachy girl

Fill me with love
Fill me with hate
Fill me with want
Wash away my face

My heart shakes
My vision blurs
My sanity slips
Alas I'm gone

Oh peachy girl
What a heavenly hellishly wonderful mistake
Fell the tree of my core
Forever no more but forever more?!

>> No.12783487

A tornado spins
A bat flies
A man fucks

>> No.12783492

Lights light
Darks dark
Loves hate

>> No.12783501

No skills
No passion
But desire plenty

>> No.12783562

>>12782130
No, you made it much worse. Your additions are just padding, except for the unwarranted addition of "sad". This is exactly what's terrible about the emphasis of the syllable count to the exclusion of the other principles and ideals of the form.

>> No.12783572

>>12781157
I do not deserve
Someone as kind as you are
Hope you can forgive :(

>> No.12783751

>>12781157
How odd of God
To choose the Jews

>> No.12783767

my penis is small
just like my brain and i will
stick it in your butt

>> No.12783768

Seagull anon here.
Slept on it; came up with this. Hope you all enjoy!

Tired old seagull
Settles on the burning road.
Tires' lullaby.

>> No.12784276

Clean your room you nerd
That's the belly of the beast
Post podernist cuck

>> No.12784391

>>12783768
Me again, commenting on my own stuff. The big issue with this version is that it sounds like broken English. ("Tontoism," as some have called it, but that term is tasteless and unnecessary) I like all the sentiments in it though, and the "mode" of their expression seems alright...I still have to "vaporize" it a bit, find the most elegant expression of all the sentiment I'm after...then there would be room for articles.

Even if the feedback I've gotten is all/mostly shitposts, I have benefitted from it, for having to see my own work and the experience itself through different lenses, and I am grateful to you all for that.

>> No.12784439

Wear your robes of snow,
Old municipal building.
Turkey vulture preens.

>> No.12784441

高い感情
沈黙を破る
苦い海

>> No.12784464

Empty stool between them
Solid as the silence is.
Beast without a back.

>> No.12784490

>>12783768
Oh shit, I just realized that this makes it sound like I killed the bird. I...kinda like it though. I could have two poems on this theme: one wear the seagull dies and my tires sing a kind of mourning song, and one where I stop in time. I enjoy the "seagull settling" also describing it as roadkill. Sometimes, in poetry, you get interesting things you don't intend. It's good to embrace this fact.

>> No.12784664

Are any good haiku poets currently alive?

>> No.12785465

>>12781157
Rippling still waters
Rowing spontaneously
Deliriously

>> No.12785479

The fields of the rye
Knowing I may have made lives
I leave them to play

(I wrote this a few days ago and then knelt on my zabuton with a fucken dagger then chickened out)

>> No.12785495

>>12785465
It should go:

Still waters rippling
Rowing deliriously
Spontaneously

I'm not happy with it, 'deliriously rowing spontaneously?'

a goddamn hassle
this fucking haiku bullshit
somebody kill me

>> No.12785529

>>12781958
Posters are clever
Not their best material
How they hide their shame

>> No.12785544

>>12781157
i can't masturbate,
for i have scabs on my palms.
i must wait and heal

>> No.12785575

>>12781562
Wasted potential
Cognitive disharmony
Anime watcher

>> No.12785631

Forthright citizen
Obscures nothing in their speech
Soon they will be hanged

>> No.12785638

>>12784441
态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 劉曉波动态网自由门

>> No.12785710

ah, this thread again!
Seagulls, dubsposters and memes
I'm glad it's still up!

>> No.12785714

My dick is chafing
These hoes may not be loyal
But they sure are tight

>> No.12785730

I made a haiku
because anon told me to
I don't have a life

>> No.12785753

Concept germinates
Menstruation terminates
Emancipation

>> No.12785797

>>12781157
His socks are dirty
And his toes are always wet
A change will fix it

>> No.12785823

Delivered stillborn
Funereally grieving
Waling, gnashing teeth

>> No.12785844

>>12785465
Rippling still waters
Rowing spontaneously
Deliriously

Lonely sailor sobs,
Jerking off his little dick.
Finally, wet warmth.

>> No.12785846

Nonsensical sounds
Onomatopoetic
Inarticulate

>> No.12785870

Climbing sheer mountains
Parasitic burrowers
Seeking secret sores

>> No.12785871

>>12785846
Nonsensical sounds
Onomatopoetic
Inarticulate

My shit-eating grin
As I thrust my cock into
Anon's mother's cunt

>> No.12785878

>>12784664

just about anyone published in "bottle rockets"

>> No.12785900

>>12785465
How about this:

Rowing still waters
Rippling deliriously
Spontaneously
or
Rowing still waters
Rippling spontaneously
Deliriously

>> No.12785926

Humble gratitude
Earnings accumulating
Staid perseverance

>> No.12785938

>>12785878
Eh, I haven't read a Forrester poem that's pleased me. They read like mediocre translations of mediocre poems.

>> No.12785946

Don’t you love it when
People try to make haiku
And mess up the numbers?

>> No.12785963

Many in this thread
Try too hard to seem profound.
Paint a simple scene.

>> No.12785965

Besmirching honor
Vainly sacrifice judgment
Disingenuous

>> No.12785976

>>12785946
No, but it sure sucks
When people write shit like this
Thinking they're clever.

>> No.12786011

Perplexing figures
Unaccommodating scale
Miniaturized

>> No.12786015

what I really love
is that this thread is just /lit/
in 5-7-5

>> No.12786027

>>12785963
Following his word
I painted a simple scene
Chalk on white of snow

>> No.12786075

>>12785976
I may be a fool
But the jest is that my work
Is irony. Count.

>> No.12786083

Unsustainable
Inherent contradictions
Counterproductive

>> No.12786109

Reverberating
Chamber affords resonance
Stark tranquility

>> No.12786122

>>12786075
That's my fucking point,
You retarded piece of shit.
My God you are dense.

>> No.12786128

>>12786122
I predicted this
This is why i called myself
A fool at the start

>> No.12786134

>>12786015
More enjoyable?
I think so. Shitposts are pretty
when in this meter

>> No.12786159

Unification
Adversarial cascade
Intimidation

>> No.12786164

>>12786128
Oh, how smart you are!
Doing some retarded shit
Knowing that it's dumb.

>> No.12786173

Wretched fumes unearthed
Choking asphyxiation
Inevitable

>> No.12786191

>>12786173
Unearthed wretched fumes
Inevitable Choking
Asphyxiation

>> No.12786194

haiku more like kike
ooo man i am sick of these
godam jews here ok

>> No.12786201

Tactful digression
Inhospitable climate
Ineffectual

>> No.12786204

>>12785963
Lacking ideas,
I will take the high ground by
shitting on others

>> No.12786231

I licked her asshole
She let out a couple braps
The taste made me hard

My throat opened up
Her delicious turds slid down
I swallowed with pride

She didn't use to
Like shitting into my mouth
But now she just grins

As the turds slide down
She smiles knowing that I
Will never leave her

The shame she once felt
At doing this stuff for me
She now feels power

My face, her toilet
I drink her pee, eat her shit
Worship her sweet farts

For if I had to
Choose another way to live
It would break my heart

>> No.12786246

Manufacturing
Delightful inquisitions
Harbored melodies

>> No.12786254

Original poster
Starts a thread with no haiku
OP is a fag

>> No.12786283

How to Haiku?
Am i doing it right...
Or wrong.

>> No.12786292

Deteriorate
Sedentary languishing
Attenuating

>> No.12786311

Proselytizing
Applicable nuances
Vocabulary

>> No.12786366

>>12786164
Irrational rage!
If distasteful, simply leave;
No need to be fierce.

>> No.12786382

>>12786204
My swamp-water life--
Why listen to sound advice?
I have too much pride!

>> No.12786392

Hermit on a walk
Idly kicks a heavy stone
That then says hello

>> No.12786394

>>12786392
Good post anon

>> No.12786409
File: 100 KB, 1080x1080, 41092316_309250656293782_8074642572707619291_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12786409

Girl or Boy?
What matters in the world?
But a wet hole

>> No.12786437

Planning a garden…
Which clematis suits me best?
Deep blue every year...

>> No.12786445

>>12786409
3,6,4 is wrong!
Ribaldry does not belong
In our pretty prose.

>> No.12786450

>>12786445
3-6-4 is wrong?
Dogmatism is not what
Haiku is about.

>> No.12786461

>>12786394
lonely man inadvertently made a friend <3

>> No.12786464

>>12786445
>Write Haiku in English
>Create arbitrary rules
>Forget the real meaning

>> No.12786468

>>12786409
hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng!
hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng!
hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng! hnng!

>> No.12786523

>>12786409
"I'll just go on /lit/!
Nothing on there will tempt me!"
#nofap failed again...

>> No.12786544

Birth from a woman
Feet upon a cold, trodden path
Sheol waits for them.

>> No.12786838

abandoned train station
a stone Buddha sits
autumn leaves in hand

>> No.12786933

day,
you go nowhere...
yet you cannot stay

>> No.12786936
File: 278 KB, 2048x1152, 1552855949294.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12786936

>>12781157
Went to the toilet
Poo came out of the darkness
Rebirth at last, peace

>> No.12786947

>>12786366
I'm irrational?
Nothing's less rational than
Lucid foolishness.

>> No.12786953

such rare loneliness...
one eye open, looking
at the moon

>> No.12786969

>>12786933
day,
you go nowhere...
leaving me behind

>> No.12787009

gloryhole hot blonde
gloryhole hot blonde woman
...gloryhole blonde gay

>> No.12787056

>>12781157
Here's one of mine. I've written a lot of haiku. I find the strict 5-7-5 meter to be more suited to Japanese than to English, so I tend to vary the number of syllables/morae in each line while remaining within the 17-syllable limit. Hope you like it. :-)

"It's snowing outside!"
Children running to school
Past the cemetery.

>> No.12787086

>>12781492
>>12781797
>>12784439
>>12787056
>>12781549
I actually enjoyed these.

>> No.12787131

>>12781157
You shoudn't really try
Because you'll fail anyways
Noone loves you

>> No.12787133

Im so tired
i couldnt write if i tried
weird to be wired

>> No.12787136

Once the snow had settled
And took pity on the world anew
Afresh they arose!

>> No.12787143

>>12781157
nadien me quiere
porque estoy bien feo
quiero morir

>> No.12787144

open the door get
on the floor everybody
walk the dinosaur

>> No.12787149 [DELETED] 

>>12787086
I'm wrote the last one it's supposed to be bad

>> No.12787151

>>12787143
ya

>> No.12787154

>>12787149
everyone on lit except for me has famously bad taste

>> No.12787159

my head's in the can
because I am really sick
someone get a mop

>> No.12787162

>>12787154
>>12787136
What do you think of mine?

>> No.12787165

>>12787149
well clearly you suck so much you can't even succeed at failing

>> No.12787176
File: 911 KB, 1031x692, 1544936481577.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12787176

pepe is a frog
that has many lovely memes
4chan is his home

>> No.12787188

>>12787162
I'm sorry to say that I do not like it at all.

>> No.12787202

there are certain words
that don't fit in a haiku
i won't write them down

>> No.12787234

Pneumonoultra-
microscopicsilico-
volcanoconiosis

>> No.12787243

Twice five syllables
Plus seven, can't say much but
That's haiku for you

>> No.12787251

>>12784441
nice try but
>Although the word "on" is sometimes translated as "syllable", one on is counted for a short syllable, two for an elongated vowel or doubled consonant, and one for an "n" at the end of a syllable. Thus, the word "haibun", though counted as two syllables in English, is counted as four on in Japanese (ha-i-bu-n); and the word "on" itself, which English-speakers would view as a single syllable, comprises two on: the short vowel o and the moraic nasal n̩.

>> No.12787275

>>12787243
>verse in haiku form
>cannot express everything
please choose only one

>> No.12787279

lights off in the house,
no cars parked on the driveway--
unobstructed moon

>> No.12787295 [DELETED] 

Intimidating
individuality
reinvigorates

>> No.12787300

梅雨思い
冬眠覚めず
安心を

>> No.12787306 [DELETED] 

>>12787300
>雨
cringe

>> No.12787325

haiku fucking astounds me
like, take this verse from Buson:

In spring rain
I have gotten soaked
even while wearing a hood

it's about as simple as it gets, and yet he manages to express something about the human condition, and in an emotional way
I can imagine him smiling at himself while writing it
most poems much longer than this one say less than it does, despite being much more complex
and that's just a random Buson piece a happened to flip to in a book

>> No.12787329

>>12787306
whats wrong with 梅雨

>> No.12787330

spiritual
lyrical miracle
individual

>> No.12787338

i woke up today
i breathed the air around me
it had felt so good

>> No.12787935
File: 28 KB, 420x294, haiku5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12787935

>>12781157

>> No.12787943
File: 9 KB, 259x194, haikupizza.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12787943

>>12781157
.

>> No.12788000

>>12787300
専門家っすねw

>> No.12788013

>>12787251
i'm not japanese or weeb and I know nothing about japanese language I tried [shrug kaomoji]
i do prefer reading haiku translations though than english haikus.

>> No.12788019 [DELETED] 

>>12781157
FUCK NIGGERS

>> No.12788050

>>12781157
vegan pesto dish
tastes like a faint memory
craving real thing

>> No.12788767

comment
im not a robot
post

>> No.12788946

I starved myself once
Would my life be different
If I ate a meal

>> No.12789128

>>12787935
If you want to read real haiku about that, Shiki's your dude.

>> No.12789174

>>12781157
Hit or miss i guess
They never miss huh you got
A boyfriend i bet

he doesn't kiss ya
he gon' find another girl
and he wont miss ya

>> No.12789465

>>12781527
underrated post

>> No.12789501
File: 52 KB, 503x700, Jung Laughing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12789501

>>12781157
I have one written by Jung (See I make it rhyme every time).

“the American presents a rare picture—a European with Negro manners and an Indian soul!”

- Jung

>> No.12789582

Nagasaki;
in her belly, the sound
of unopened mail

>> No.12789646
File: 24 KB, 342x342, cofi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12789646

Coffee in a cup
Steam rising, hands growing warm
Day light peaking through

>> No.12789697

>>12789646
that's an unironic :) from me
:)

>> No.12789767

Plato's Republic--
highlighting key passages,
cigarette burns

>> No.12789820

>>12786838
I love this one. I can see the autumn leaves in his hand.

>> No.12790079

>>12789820
thank you
*coughs up blood*

>> No.12790531

Thread was very based,
But it's gotten dead as fuck.
Pools evaporate.

>> No.12790634

Five syllables they
say, but I just cannae as
you may be able to see

>> No.12790719

カエル
クローバー
孤独

>> No.12790789

睾丸の寒さ
女性アイスハート
将来の喪失

>> No.12790805

>>12781157
my nigga tay k
he was spitting some fire
god damn he's a g

>> No.12790853

how they meet--
steam from a coffee cup
and winter fog

>> No.12790887

on that bench alone
the fragrance of ghosts and feet
airport tomorrow

>> No.12790889

>>12781562
>In the corpse of winter
not sure if bait

>> No.12790903

>lit can't write good
no surprises there

>> No.12790928

>>12790903
why don't you try?

>> No.12790965

>>12790928
I am bad bad at
writing too, like a green frog
in the hot springtime

>> No.12790997

>>12781157
Heaven brings forth innumerable things to nurture man.
Man has nothing good with which to recompense Heaven.
Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.

>> No.12791106

i don't remember
the number of syllables
it takes to write one

>> No.12791199

goddamn westerners
thinking haiku's all about
counting syllables

>> No.12791246

>>12781157
Op is a faggot
But a good faggot
Like Freddie Mercury

>> No.12791253
File: 118 KB, 398x281, s.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12791253

>>12791199
This.
When I was a kid, I would just stop paying attention in class when we learned about haikus in lit class.
Why not teach children something that actually matters like forms of poetry in our own language? Gay.

>> No.12791306

blender...
frog jumps in
splat!

>> No.12791310

>>12781994
Positively Naelic.

Thunderstorms outside
A warm cup of tea for me
I shut the blinders

>> No.12791383

tundra

>> No.12791524

>>12791383
pseud

>> No.12791546

butthole
I plunge in
brap!

>> No.12791557

>>12791546
brown hole
snake jumps in
brap!

>> No.12791565

>>12791524
plagiarist, actually

>> No.12791633

>>12791565
plagiarists are pseuds

>> No.12791671
File: 4 KB, 119x126, haiku.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12791671

>> No.12791707

>>12791671
that's not a haiku
that is just three popsicles
try again my friend

>> No.12791884

>>12789465
thank you

>> No.12791954

Quiet yard—
The cat walking on the fence
Not like in our youth

>> No.12792181

The early spring days
Warmer temperatures bring bliss
Though searching for peace

>> No.12792220

Clowns to left of me
Stuck in the middle with you
Jokers to the right

>> No.12792231

>>12792220
Good post

>> No.12792370

horses will free you
just join the eternal ride
you can see the light

>> No.12792481

anus is so moist
thumb is covered in poo poo
i need better lube

>> No.12792521

>>12792220
nice

>> No.12792658

sitting in a chair
humming fan reveals the heart
off to read a book

>> No.12792740

Spring already sprung
one in the chamber. Roast beef
doesn't have it's appeal.

>> No.12792764

>>12792220
Clowns to west of me
Got jokers to the east
But Austria-Hungary's my mate

>> No.12792983
File: 119 KB, 1920x1080, end of E.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12792983

Sand Crashes tonight
The feeling of now is far
I can hear them all

>> No.12793823

>>12781157
No, fuck you OP
Haikus are for gay niggers
I write what I want

>> No.12793923

eating pink anus
sweet poopy on my tastebuds
i eat last night's corn

>> No.12794021

>>12790079
Do you have any more? A website or blog maybe? I would like to read them

>> No.12795293

>>12791383
brap

>> No.12795300

if i was a man
who had a plan and a pearl
would you be my girl

>> No.12795736

>>12794021
That's a Masaoka Shiki poem, which anon hinted at. Shiki famously was terminally ill and wrote a bunch of haiku documenting his experiences with having to face his untimely death. Honestly, I envy you, if it's really the case that you get to djg into Shiki for the first time. He's one of the Big 4 (Basho, Buson, Issa, Shiki) for a reason.

>> No.12795864

>>12781466
Very nice haiku.

>> No.12796152

Snow white bones crunches
Under Samurai sandals
Following orders

雪白骨、
命令草鞋
でサクサク

>> No.12796179 [DELETED] 

Your attention please
Fuck niggers and fuck jannies
Thank you and good night

>> No.12796588
File: 75 KB, 824x800, He_Cute.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12796588

>>12796179
Based

>> No.12796766

Trees,
on this winter day,
we are under-dressed.

>> No.12797381

proudly he admits
he has nothing to say
on his deathbed

>> No.12797520

when all else ceases
the big absurd becomes clear
and the frog, it croaks

>> No.12797766

>>12781172
Autumn ends
Frogs settle down
Into the earth

>> No.12798090

(good) haiku is too pute for /lit/

>> No.12798947

dying on a cross
again we miss the whole point
spend life to join God

>> No.12799091

play video game
I lost; it says "all your base
are belong to us"

>> No.12799127

Counting syllables
How many for this one here
back to five again

>> No.12800206

Mah boy Texas Red
Got sum big iron on me
Shit, that nigga dead

>> No.12800278

>>12781797
Ehhhhh...

>> No.12800304

milky milky
warm and tasty
mommy please be hasty

>> No.12800372

>>12781172
Maybe the best one about nowadays

Mine is:

The rock in the mountain
Awaits to drop
Just like the normies
Awaits to die

>> No.12800572

>>12799091
>making posts about
>games that you have never played
>thinking we won't know

>> No.12801350

>>12795736
>Masaoka Shiki
Ah, thank you very much. I will check these guys out.

>> No.12801472

24/7,
Telemarketing Machines
Tintinabulate.

Transgender Praters
Claim their chatter is babble;
Their babble, chatter.

Assistant Interns
To The Accommodator
On Strike for Helpers

Skilled Accompanists
Escort Nervous Soloists
Through Attending Ears

Language be praiséd!
That stretches or snips sil'abl's
suffici'ntly 'nough!

Human traffickers
Enslave those who are captive,
Themselves slaves to need.

Riddle enigmas
With fresh ingredients, or
Risk a paradox.

Fruitionists frown
'pon Enjoymenters buying
Gratifications

Halted Endeavors
Measure Future Exertions
Against Spent Efforts

Armed Endeavorers
Striving to cease their struggles
Turn their aim inward.

Bear this book hourly!
Endure its fulsome out pour!
Undergo great growth!

>> No.12801555

>>12799127
very nice

>> No.12801616
File: 48 KB, 600x632, keksimus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12801616

>>12783449

>> No.12801618

>>12781198

Like a robot
he has a point
still a virgin

>> No.12801824

someone write one about kingcobra jfs

>> No.12801846

>>12800206
based

>> No.12802073

Japanese generally has more syllables per word, so English haiku that strictly adheres to the count often misses the feeling of authentic traditional Japanese haiku. You can do Basho's entire famous fog haiku in one line, like:

Old pond. Frog jumps. Splash!

or

Frog jumps in old pond.

It's hard for English haiku to preserve the extreme minimalism of haiku while sticking to the syllable count. It's also a significant reason why 99.9% of English haiku is shit.

>> No.12802083

The blood flows from me
Self inflicted, natural
Sat and accepted

>> No.12802433

Fuck off mods and
Stop moving the WWoYM thread
Fuck the jannies too

>> No.12802452

close eyes and seize it
I am the beast I worship
light torch and burn it

>> No.12802801

>>12781228
>>12781467
>>12781494
>>12781533
>>12781488
>>12781463
>>12783449

These are cute an all, but y'all don't need to to stick to the autistic 5-7-5 rule as the first fucking guy said, but y'all still doing it anyway. If you want to know how REAL poets do it, look no further than the OG haiku master himself, Ezra Pound.

In a Station of the Metro:
The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.

>> No.12803055

Grew up believing
Love was something real
Time to have sex

>> No.12803059

>>12802801
>Not posting his greatest work

My life is like a fart
After greasy anal sex
The jews did everything
-Ezra Pound

>> No.12803099 [DELETED] 

>>12781157

On midnight roof
A sudden drum-song
Spring rain
...

>> No.12803117
File: 11 KB, 406x220, h.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
12803117

>>12781157

On midnight roof
A sudden drum-song
Spring rain
...

>> No.12803182

>>12781625
>le epic assertion of superior knowledge without substance
master of literature right here

>> No.12803277

>>12781157
OP is a fag;
His father abandoned him.
/lit/ is fucking trash.

>> No.12803297

>>12803182
>without substance
Clear reference is made to the Wikipedia page; all you have to do is go there and read it. Essentially it's no different than copy-pasting the pertinent information.

>> No.12803580

/lit/ could never write
haikus, too, exceed their grasp
now I make amends:

>>12781172
let's just fuck it all
4chan is already fucked
best start somewhere else

>>12781228
old 5-7-5
he says form is just a tool
he works with his hands

>>12781369
no education
is necessary for this
small activity

>>12781463
snow falls quietly
dampened cherry blossom sings
muffled in the dusk

>>12781466
hardy fucking kek
very based and redpilled, sir
sure it's a haiku

>>12781492
headfirst down the well!
damn that moon which, overhung,
pulled my gaze away

>>12781494
Seagull circles down,
tucks his wings once on the ground,
slam brakes, beak breaks, dead.

>> No.12803606

>>12803580

>>12781636
we don't have this thread
all too often actually
haikus are too much

>>12781678
Contrast and surprise:
every line must read as one
all must serve the point

>>12781694
haiku is preferable
but only if you know how
to stick to the form

>>12781797
haikus are quite small
saying nothing with little,
not much, takes great skill

>>12781829
milk of my mother
and the warmth of her bosom
my eyes were still closed

>>12781889
many dubs have been
rolled and checked within this thread
but not by you, friend

>>12781994
He is trying to
incite a debate about
translation, and form.

>>12782130
old duckweed circle
in the garden, frog jumps in
makes a little *plop*

>> No.12803652

>>12803606
I know, not often
I really wanted to say
"OP is a fag"

>> No.12803738

>>12782163
faded filament
just a little orange glow
still burns hot for you

>>12785465
>>12785844
>>12785495
still rowing, waters
rippling deliriously,
spontaneously

>>12785544
damn my hands, no balm
scabbing thick on both my palms
touch must come from alms

>>12785631
the gulag, they said,
was the sure destination
of an honest man

>>12786015
LIT-5-7-5
YOUR FAV'RIT INFOCHANNEL
FOR QUICK /lit/ STREAMING

>>12786173
when they sunk their spades
a black igneous torrent
rose up, ignited

>>12786231
to use more than one
to tell one story; it is
disingenuous

>>12786382
onions have layers
so onions are like ogres
ogres have layers

>>12786392
jolly pilgrim on
the road, kicks a stone, hello
joke cracked -- open-toed

>>12786409
we all have wet holes
we are all just wet donuts
with bacteria

>> No.12803748

>>12781157
haikus should only be written in japanese.. .just like dactylic hexameter should only be written in ancient greek.

english haikus are seriously fucking dumb and i haven't read a single good one.

>> No.12803837

>>12781157
the nature of this site
trembles of my hearth, fog of mind
an anon lost in 4chan

>> No.12803866

>>12786523
jezebel posting
ruins ten /lit/izens' streaks
every single day

>>12786838
his stone eyes downcast,
from hands reads the faded leaves
fallen, winter's page

>>12787056
snow! a first for all,
save the teachers, and the one
graveyard blanketed

>>12787144
"tree fiddy" she said
Nessie you dumb bitch, it is
5.75

>>12797381
"I have said it all!"
he roared, and arched his back and
slumped back down again

>>12800206
man with a big iron
walked into town today, I
kept my damn head down

>> No.12803942

>>12803866
*the old/graveyard blanketed

>> No.12804017

>>12803866
*rode into town today

>> No.12804286

>>12803748
doesn't sound like you'd be willing to read much English haiku...in which case it makes sense that you haven't found any good ones

>> No.12804293

>>12803738
>>12803866
damn, you're actually good at this

>> No.12804399

a starlight picnic
overlooks a quiet town
I lean in closer

>> No.12804575

>>12804399
...and then last, I walk
the forest path, I look down
into town, I laugh...

>> No.12804667

>>12781157
Flowing river of cum.
I relapsed... Fuck!
I will become Chad.

>> No.12804840

>>12804667
Flowing river of cum.
"You will fuck me so long that
I will be cum, Chad."

>> No.12804972

>>12804840
big fat nut busts and
Chad goes Super Saiyan on
my bright pink fuck hole

>> No.12805137

how do I learn to write decent haiku
any reading you'd recommend

>> No.12805206

somewhere shines the sun
spears of light carry the death
that connects us all

>> No.12805291

i fuked ur mum
in the bum
then i cum

>> No.12805310

>>12805291
That's not a haiku

>> No.12805319

>>12805310
Cummy yummy cum
Did twice cum up in my bum
And one in my tum

>> No.12805331

>>12781527
truth dredged from sadness
as the Cheeto Puff Man dies
smell my finger - yours

>> No.12805354

>>12786392
young boy on a walk
idly kicks a paper bag
it's filled with cement

>> No.12806344

>>12805206
ed è subito sera

>> No.12806356

What the fuck is this?
/haiku/ hit the bump limit?
I'm so proud of y'all :)

>> No.12806445

>>12791884
I know it's just a silly one, but the urgency you built was pretty legit, and the story arc was satisfying. keep it up!

>> No.12806509

castrovillari
mattina di agosto
un caffé al bar

>> No.12806692

Ekot klingar klart
En sång om allt underbart
Tystnat än en gång