Woke up at eleven, but fell back asleep, only to wake up 13:30. I was dreaming the entire time, and remember two out of the four dreams I know I had.
First dream, I was at some unnamed school of witchcraft and wizardry, and had just transplanted the consciousness of two girls into the yokes of fried eggs. I realized the pain that they were in, and how I was torturing them. I felt so much guilt and so much regret, I was evil.
When I woke up I quickly realized what it means; My (internet) girlfriend loves me, very very much, and I know, on a deep level, that it won't work out. I'm not lovable, and the longer she loves me, the worse. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes to the hospital if I ever were to break up with her. It's my fault that she loves me, but I don't know if I could convince her that I'm not worth loving and that she's wasting time and emotion on me, an unlovable.
The other dream I remember had me sitting at a fancy dinner party with a fancy host and hostess. I said something funny, and the hostess laughed. I knew she probably thought she was being kind, and thought me endearing, and truly did like me and my wittyness. She probably even thought that she was doing a good thing, encouraging me, or whatever. But she was also pitying me, I could see it, and can see it every day. Because I'm worse than them.
I turned to the host, and said something along the lines of "Yeah, I'm pretty funny, I like making jokes and laughing with people, but I don't like being laughed at either."
Pointing out what was happening in some hamfisted manner. The hostess' jaw dropped and the host shifted uncomfortably in his chair. I continued, but I made no sense, unable to express myself, and the hosts' manner changed from the awkwardness of being called out, to the awkwardness of being attacked by infantile anger unable to be properly expressed. Even then, I was being pitied.
Afterwards, still in the dream, I went for a cigarettte, and had snowballs at me, probably because I feel like a child. Walking back inside, the two kids (my age) followed me, and I told them that if they did that again I'd fight them. He said something like "Chill, I don't wanna get mangled by your retard strength"