/lit/ humor

[Anonymous No.12621260]

Does anyone have any really old /lit/ memes? I'm looking for one with some postmodernists and maybe joyce shopped onto rich people laughing and it says "we told them the value and symbolism would trickle down!". I spent an hour trying to find threads from 2013-2015 that might have it in the archive last night with no luck

[Anonymous No.12621383]

>>12621260
Gravity’s Rainbow?

[Anonymous No.12621398]

>>12621383
Yes

[Anonymous No.12621408]

>>12621383
That or Trainspotting

[Anonymous No.12621802]

[Anonymous No.12621848]

[Anonymous No.12621857]

[Anonymous No.12621891]

[Anonymous No.12621902]

[Anonymous No.12621909]

[Anonymous No.12621917]

And no its not this one

[Anonymous No.12621922]

>>12621857
Damn, I remember various versions of this comic appearing everywhere on the web in, when was it, 2011 or so?

That was one of the very first complex memes that took a lot of thought to reskin.

[Anonymous No.12621931]

Does anyone have the comic of the skeleton that visits a kid in bed and asks him which books he's read?

[Anonymous No.12621937]

[Anonymous No.12621949]

[Anonymous No.12621962]

[Anonymous No.12621963]

>>12621931
seconding this

[Anonymous No.12622001]

[Anonymous No.12622009]

Found it, no thanks to ANY of you fucking newfags

[Anonymous No.12622030]

Oh man I forgot about this kid completely. I don't even remember his name.

[Anonymous No.12622047]

>>12621408

Actually wondered if they took inspiration for that scene from GR

[Anonymous No.12622048]

zoomers probably don't even know who this is

[Anonymous No.12622059]

>>12622048
you're joking right? Dostoevsky is heavily discussed on /lit/ rn.

[Anonymous No.12622071]

[Anonymous No.12622074]

>>12622048
>existentialism is the philosophy of women who took enough loads to get microchimerism yet will never have children.

This is actually sad.

[Anonymous No.12622088]

[Anonymous No.12622096]

>>12621891
Those really were the best. Classical memes in the old /lit/ tradition.

Thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.12622108]

>>12622074
You are like a little baby

[Anonymous No.12622110]

>>12621949
Perhaps the most /lit/ meme. Any other versions ?

[Anonymous No.12622128]

[Anonymous No.12622131]

>>12621260

[Anonymous No.12622143]

>>12622088
This one always cracks me up.

[Anonymous No.12622144]

[Anonymous No.12622147]

>>12621398
I'm reading it right now and basically all of the memes are in the first 80 pages except for the shit-eating

[Anonymous No.12622152]

[Anonymous No.12622154]

>>12622147
there'd surely be more memes but nobody made it past first 300 pages

[Anonymous No.12622167]

[Anonymous No.12622186]

>>12622147
That's not true

[Anonymous No.12622190]

>>12622147
Byron, Pig suit, Marvy's testicles, IN PRUSSIA THEY DON'T EAT PUSSY and Rocket Man are all fairly deep into the book.

[Anonymous No.12622205]

[Anonymous No.12622210]

>>12622110

[Anonymous No.12622227]

>>12622210

[Anonymous No.12622236]

>>12622190
Ayy Byron is still going
http://www.centennialbulb.org/cam.htm

[Anonymous No.12622241]

[Anonymous No.12622258]

>>12621802
>A room full of farting women
Thats the dream james old pal

[Anonymous No.12622259]

>>12622205
does anybody have the beavis and butthead one

[Anonymous No.12622260]

>>12622227

[Anonymous No.12622267]

[Anonymous No.12622284]

[Anonymous No.12622300]

[Anonymous No.12622389]

>>12622167
I missed this one. Truly

[Anonymous No.12622396]

>>12622389

[Anonymous No.12622407]

>>12622396
My prose is worse than mediocre, so I thank the corn father for his blessing.

[Anonymous No.12622410]

Post Modernism: The Final Chapter

David Foster Wallace and Tao Lin stood around their elaborately footnoted map of Thomas Pynchon’s house.
“Are you sure about this David?”
“Dammit Tao, we’ve been over this again, how can we become the world’s greatest pomo authors if Thomas Pynchon’s still alive?”
“I know, but eliminating his map?”
David Foster Wallace slapped Tao Lin in his chubby little face.
“Are you in, or are you out?”
“Uhh- I don’t-“
“You called your book Eeeee Eee Eeeee Tao, Eeeee Eee Eeeee. How can you succeed in a world where Pynchon exists with a title like Eeeee Eee Eeeee?”
Tao Lin clenched his fists.
“I’m in David. But if you ever mention Eeeee Eee Eeeee again, I’ll end you”

Crickets chirped outside Tao Lin’s Toyota Camry.
“Here’s the place.”
In front of them stood the imposing walls of Thomas Pynchon’s fortress of solitude.
“Get the rope.” Said David as he stepped out of the car. Tao Lin hurried to the car’s boot, and pulled out a long black thread of rope. He chucked it to David who attached a metal hook to its end. He then threw the hook over the walls and it stuck tight. He yanked it, then started to shimmy up, leaping over the wall and landing with a tennis-shoe silenced thump.
“The coast’s clear.”
With this, Tao Lin also scalled the wall, He rolled over to David Foster Wallace and took out their map. Wallace took out his LED light and shone it over the diagram.
“The backdoor’s over there. Once we get in it’s through the kitchen, up the stairs, down the hallway and then it’s match-point for Thomas.”
Keeping low, they moved at a crawl towards the sturdy stone alcove of Pynchon’s back doorstep.
“Jiggy the door Tao.”
Tao Lin took out a styrofoam Starbucks cup. Cracking it open, he took out a lockpick and screwdriver.
“This is easy David.”
“Almost too easy Tao. If Pynchon’s security this lax, I’m surprised that Burroughs didn’t bet us to the punch decades ago.”
The door soundlessly swung open and they crawled inside.
“Get down David.” Cried Tao Lin and he threw David Foster Wallace to the ground. In the air above them flashed three deadly crossbow bolts, which slammed into the door with a meaty thunk.
Above them, the intercom crackled into life.
“Welcome to my home Mr. Wallace. You must be over the rainbow to step foot in my domain”
Tao Lin was looking around frantically.
“The jig’s up, David lets get out of this here.”
“I’m not ready to give up now Tao.”
“You’re lucky to be alive! Come on, the Pale King will sell fine on its own.”
“Don’t bring up The Pale King Tao, don’t you ever mention the Pale King!”
With that David Foster Wallace barreled through the kitchen.

[Anonymous No.12622426]

>>12622410
“Dammit.”
“You better help your friend Tao-Lin, or he might find himself in a world of pain.”
Ahead, Tao Lin could hear David’s frantic cries for help. Taking out his knife out of its boot holder, Tao Lin turned the corner to find David Foster Wallace in the slimy grip of a giant octopus.
“This wasn’t in the plan David!”
“Give me the knife!” cried David Foster Wallace as he viciously gouged at the octopus’s eyes with his one free hand
Tao Lin threw the knife and it whirled through the air. David caught the knife in one hand and tore it through the octopuses’ fleshy ‘head’. Writhing in pain, the octopus wheeled in pain, dropping the writer onto his feet. Tao Lin leapt forward with his icepick, and with one swift move thrust it into the octopus’ brain.
“This is so going in my blog.”
The housetrained kraken spasmed on the floor for a full minute, then stood still.
“You might be the most impressive writers yet.”
“You’re not as smart as you think you are Pynchon.” Cried back DFW.
“I never said I was smart, only creative!”
With a mechanical click, the floor beneath Tao Lin and David Foster Wallace swung in like a trapdoor. David desperately grasped for the ledge, and Tao Lin managed to grab his hanging ankle, leaving them both hanging precariously from the side. Looking down they could see vicious metal stakes sticking through the basement’s cold concrete floor. Scattered around the room was a number of skeletons, the one directly below them still wearing a cowboy hat.
“Cormac. Pynchon you bastard!”
“Tao, even my serving arm can’t keep us from falling from much longer. You have to do something now.”
Tao struggled to pull himself upwards to see anything that might save them.
“The octopus!”
Taking their rope, Tao Lin threw it with all his might. Above he heard the claw sink into the octopus’ flesh. With a ferocious pull he sent the octopus flying past them and into the basement below. With that Tao Lin jumped off the wall and landed on the octopus’ thick body, the metal spikes unable to reach him.
“Come on down David.”
Once David Foster Wallace was too standing on Pynchon’s pet octopus, Tao Lin threw the hook back up, where it stuck fast on the staircase’s bannister. Swinging across a row of spikes and pulling themselves up, the side of the basement’s wall the carefully ascended the stairs.

[Anonymous No.12622428]

>>12622074
Microchimerism is a result of pregnancy you dumbass

[Anonymous No.12622433]

>>12622426
At the end of the pictured lined corridor was Thomas Pynchon’s room, and beneath the floor, crude black smoke was flowing out. A rumbling started to shake the house.
“What the hell’s he hiding in there?”
“I don’t know Tao, but from the feel of things it’s gonna be a lot harder to eliminate his map the longer we wait here.
With that David took a step forward. As he put his foot down, a vicious throwing star feel out of a picture’s mouth, skimming the glass of David’s glasses.
“Dammit!”
Looking down at the floor where David Foster Wallace’s foot had rested, Tao Lin saw a sea of tiles, each one with a piece of fruit drawn on in steady, identical hand.
“You steeped on an apple.”
“Apple, apple- Of course!” cried DFW and he leapt forward, hopping from one leg to another.
“The bananas Tao, only steep on the bananas!” he shouted over his shoulder, getting ever closer to Pynchon’s door. A red glow flickered underneath now, and the closer they got the louder the noise became, and when Tao Lin joined DFW by the entrance to Pynchon’s inner abode, it was an ear-filling roar.
“Lets do this.”
Bursting through the door, Tao Lin and David were confronted by the giant metal arrow of a V2 rocket sticking jutting up through the floor. Settled in a leather armchair bolted floor level, was Thomas Pynchon, his head hidden behind a darkly tinted goldfish bowl, a chilling grin drawn on in crimson pen.
“I’d love to stay and chat with the only authors who’ve ever made it this far, but as you can see, I have a flight to catch.”
Laughing manically, the V2 started to slowly ascend, stabbing through the room’s high ceiling like it was made of paper.
“Goodbye David, Mr Tao!” cried Pynchon as he left them behind in a storm of black exhaust.
Coughing and shielding their faces from the searing heat, David Foster Wallace and Tao Lin could only stand helplessly as their enemy made his escape.
“After all this, we couldn’t even lay a finger on the guy!” cursed Tao Lin, bringing his fists to his face in rage.
“It’s not over yet Tao.”
David Foster Wallace ran to the window and ripped it open. He reached down to his belt and pulled up a gleaming black pistol.
“Give up David, there’s no way you can hit him now.”
“I hit service lines smaller then this back in Indy.” David replied, squinting up at the rocket’s thruster-lit outline. Sweat soaked his bandana. He steadied his hands and fired.
Tao Lin and David stood in silence for a moment, holding their breaths, and in the next instant the dazzling orange explosion of Pynchon’s rocket lit up the night. Splitting into pieces it fell to land sizzling in the ocean below.
“Write in hell you bastard.” Muttered David Foster Wallace and he let the gun fall to the garden below.

Fin.

[Anonymous No.12622459]

>>12622410
>>12622426
This is great, please go on.

>>12622284
Nice. I didn't know this one.

[Anonymous No.12622484]

>>12621857
lol don't remember having seen this one.

[Anonymous No.12623005]

Pretty based thread

[Anonymous No.12623152]

its actually stunning that people think current /lit/ (full of regular discussion on important questions and in the process of developing a fully unique blend of taste in literature) is somehow worse than le pynchon joyce dfw and le greeks /lit/

[Anonymous No.12623184]

>>12623152
>t. newfag

[Anonymous No.12623186]

[Anonymous No.12623202]

now these comics, these are /lit/ humor

[Anonymous No.12623233]

>>12623152
lmao kys

[Anonymous No.12623244]

[Anonymous No.12623263]

>>12621891
This is great

[Anonymous No.12623296]

>>12622128
That Ulysses made me lose my shit

[Anonymous No.12623300]

Holy fuck I can't believe I found this. I forgot making it until I started diving for this thread.
>start by searching google for "comic beach bully advertisement"
>find a version (not the original of pic related)
>search that image itself
>find the campaign
>find source image for pic related
>search by that image with "warosu"
>find a smaller edit with neechee
>go to the oldest thread with it in the archives
>find my ancient OC
wow

[Anonymous No.12623306]

>>12621260
WHITE people aren't funny. Dumb crackers need to shut the fuck up. How about you apologize for killing Steve Biko?

[Anonymous No.12623325]

This is one of the earliest images I still have from /lit/

[Anonymous No.12623346]

[Anonymous No.12623352]

[Anonymous No.12623362]

[Anonymous No.12623368]

>

[Anonymous No.12623373]

[Anonymous No.12623490]

>>12622428
>thinks broads like that do not get pregnant and abort on a regular basis

[Anonymous No.12623608]

Needs more stirner

[Anonymous No.12623633]

>>12623362
>>12623368
>>12623373
I'm reading this book right now.
Jesus fuck it's so boring.

[Anonymous No.12623744]

>>12622128
nice

[Anonymous No.12623861]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12624027]

whats the berrycorn one?
the guy says something like
>when ever someone messes up I say "you pulled a real thomas berrycorn"
or something like that

also someone post oats

[Anonymous No.12624045]

>>12624027

[Anonymous No.12624056]

>>12622396
Please no, cornfather

[Anonymous No.12624064]

>>12622047
from wikipedia

[Anonymous No.12624140]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j5fEnos9PE

[Anonymous No.12624142]

>>12621949
incredible

[Anonymous No.12624148]

>>12623490
Pornstars are notorious anal (no pun intended) about STDs and pregnancies, since it looks really bad on your porn resume if you cant even practice responsible sex

[Anonymous No.12624276]

>>12624140
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.12624556]

[Anonymous No.12624666]

>>12624140
>What is a political economy? Is it like a woman crying for her demon lover?
>What is the role of goblin?

[Anonymous No.12624693]

>>12622030
Kolsti Nguyen right?

[Anonymous No.12624737]

>>12623202
agreed, I especially like his avant-garde primitivist panelling

[Anonymous No.12624738]

i miss /fitlit/

[Anonymous No.12624751]

>>12622048
whats her snapchat?

[Anonymous No.12624758]

>>12621857
>/lit/
>girl

[Anonymous No.12624767]

>>12622396
Please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12624871]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12624910]

>>12622128
This will never not be funny

[Anonymous No.12624912]

[Anonymous No.12625110]

>>12623633
I couldn't even get through a quarter of the audiobook version. It's so fucking boring. I don't know why it was ever memed on here anyway.

[Anonymous No.12625143]

[Anonymous No.12625162]

kek /lit/ is surely NOT FUNNY

poor losers

[Anonymous No.12625220]

>>12623300
I went through the effort of putting slothrop's actual address and finnegans wake in here and edit in the words prose style but I left the words body building program. Welp time to kms 5 years later

[Anonymous No.12625240]

>>12624912
I remember this thread hahaha

[Anonymous No.12625338]

>>12625162
This post is funny
It was made on /lit/
Henceforth've /lit/ is funny

[Anonymous No.12625426]

>>12621949
>Nietzschefedora.jpg
That part always has me laughing like a retard.

[Anonymous No.12625453]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12625777]

[Anonymous No.12625896]

>>12624556
based

[Anonymous No.12626733]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12627073]

bump

[Anonymous No.12627075]

[Anonymous No.12627091]

[Anonymous No.12627108]

>>12622190

Oh god don't even remind me about Byron the fucking Bulb..

[Anonymous No.12627124]

>>12627108
That's the best part of the book you swine. Also actually a real thing that happened and pinecone basically "declassified" it in that book to the public. Same thing for slothrop's conditioning nd MKULTRA desu.

[Anonymous No.12627186]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12627242]

>>12624556
Unnervingly accurate.

[Anonymous No.12627249]

>>12624738
I loved it too, but it's weird to see it (and a lot of other stuff from the last 3-4 years) in this thread. Seems too new.

[Anonymous No.12627252]

>>12625240
Yeah me too, good times.

[Anonymous No.12627262]

>>12622167
Explain.

[Anonymous No.12627264]

>>12627249
Some of these images (almost all of the ones above the man in the high castle edits are me) are at least as old as 2013, and that's just the threads i combed not necesarilly when they were created

[Anonymous No.12627280]

>>12627262
It's pretty self explanatory IMO but basically the joke is a lot of the book focused on the logistics of feeding people and the word was translated as corn or maize I can't remember but basically was meant to be generic for wheat. Somehow this became the nabokov/corn father meme but I can't recall how though I know I watched it happen

[Anonymous No.12627687]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12627718]

>>12621802
based/fartpilled

[Anonymous No.12627851]

>>12622396
Pls no corn father

[Anonymous No.12627867]

>>12621917
Who’s far left? Hemingway?

[Anonymous No.12627883]

>>12627867
Hemmmingway*

[Anonymous No.12628743]

>>12622300
I never got this fucking meme.

[Anonymous No.12628810]

>>12621857
Man, it's been a long time since I've seen any version of this meme.

[Anonymous No.12628825]

>>12622396
Please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12628874]

>>12624027

[Anonymous No.12628898]

>>12621909
I loved these things

[Anonymous No.12628910]

>>12621949
uneducated man here. What is the guy saying about Bertrand Russel and Ludwig Wittengenstein being more badass than Socrates?

[Anonymous No.12628984]

>>12622410
>>12622426
>>12622433
Criminally underrated posts

[Anonymous No.12629024]

>>12621802
Is this from the new Star Wars?

[Anonymous No.12629043]

>>12621949
at last, i've been looking for this image for a while. the original
>finnegans wake

[Anonymous No.12629123]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12630146]

>>12629043

[Anonymous No.12631072]

bump

[Anonymous No.12631972]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12633314]

I don't know if its a good or a bad thing this thread is devoid of any new memes. Has board culture died? Are we better off that our zoomers are too gay to make new stuff? Has it all been done?

[Anonymous No.12633366]

>>12621917
>>12622009

I made these two. I also made that meme where the guy says "infinite jest transcends the good/bad dichotomy" and the woman fucks him. People always posted that one.

[Anonymous No.12633399]

[Anonymous No.12633413]

>>12633366
Well thanks dude and nice dubs. I made these two
>>12623300
>>12623244
The pynchon/camus actually resulted in a permaban on my old home IP for having some 40+ bans due to a crusade against tulpafags on /x/ that at one point lead to me pushing 8 pages off of the board when all of my threads were deleted. I posted almost all of the images ITT and had forgotten completely I made the beach bully one. Thanks again for being the one to inspire this trip through the archives.

I'm going to take this opportunity to tell stirnerfags and greentext lovers: fuck you, do you own work. Search warosu lit humor "20xx" in jewgle and whatever permutation you want on your own time, I never found them funny.

[Anonymous No.12633425]

>>12633413
>search for the /lit/ humor threads from 2044
>warosu doesn't archive future threads
Fuck you, I was excited for a moment

[Anonymous No.12633454]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12633458]

>>12628743
It's a meme forced by one anon who liked to pretend one scene of Catcher in the Rye is actually Holden raping his sister Phoebe, if you can read between the lines.

It's of course complete bullshit.

>>12628910
The particular brand of early positivism that Wittgenstein and Russell were part of in the early twentieth century was partly grounded on the idea that all philosophy before them was unrigorous and that the newly created formal logic (introduced by Frege mostly) would allow them to make precise uncontroversial statements and essentially "solve" philosophy.
Boy were they wrong.

This is actually an exaggeration but a few postivists really believed it, and the whole groupe was really smarmy about their "getting rigorous at last" stance. If you want an idea of the whole attitude read the last chapters of Russell's History of Western Philosophy.

Ultimately the whole enterprise failed, and Wittgenstein spectacularly changed his mind mid-life.

A lot of memeister who haven't read any philosophy besides Russell still suscribe to this view.

>>12633314
They correspond to a particular zeitgeist, /lit/ has moved on now, kinda. Mostly we're just /pol/'s bitches, which was the case before but no so degradedly. Also this thread is mostly a oldfags circlejerking.

[Anonymous No.12633469]

>>12621260
Anybody got the famous pasta that begins with "A marxist continental Ecole Normal professeur was teaching a class on Foucault" and ends up with the last line of the Tractatus being read several times ?

For me it will always be the king of /lit/ meme, even if the template originated elsewhere. It sums up the contradiction of this board so nicely.

[Anonymous No.12633487]

>>12633458
>mostly we're just /pol/'s bitches, which was the case before but no so degradedly
I did take one single piece of evidence from my diving about this. People have been whining about buzzwords and containment boards for a long time. I could have taken more posts bitching about /pol/ but the entire history of /q/ speaks for itself for anyone who was here. Redditors need to shut the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.12633494]

>>12633458
>>12633487
Also I'm not calling you reddit just generalizing
>>12633469
I'll find it

[Anonymous No.12633501]

>>12623325
lol classic

[Anonymous No.12633506]

>>12633469
>>12633494
A marxist post-structuralist continental Ecole Normale Supérieure professor and feminist activist was teaching a class on Martin Heidegger, known hermeneuticist.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nietzsche and accept that his genealogical method was the most highly-evolved theory the continent has ever known, even greater than Hegel's dialectics!”
At this moment, a brave, rational, positivist analytic philosopher who had read more than 15000 pages of Popper and Wittgenstein and understood the raison d'être of empiricism and fully supported all modern hard sciences stood up and held up the constitution.
”How universal is this text, frenchfag?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It's not universal at all, fucking positivist, its 'truth' is rooted in our shared understandings about culture, the subject and the nexus of power and knowledge”
”Wrong. It’s been 225 years since human reason created it. If it was not universal, and post-modern relativism, as you say, is real… then it should be regarded as a myth now”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting. He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it!
The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named “Formal logic” flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principia Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.

[Anonymous No.12634765]

>>12623633
>>12625110
It's because it's baby's first alternate history book. Read Turtledove instead

[Anonymous No.12634882]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12634911]

[Anonymous No.12634920]

>>12622260
>it’s spelled with two m’s
Genius.

[Anonymous No.12635340]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

my mind can't get much weaker

[Anonymous No.12635454]

>>12624045
:)

[Anonymous No.12635465]

>>12633506
the /his/ iterations of these are funnier, your board is trash

[Anonymous No.12635494]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12635555]

>>12628874
has anyone else added the Gregory Berrycohn idiom to your repertoir?

[Anonymous No.12635718]

[Anonymous No.12635729]

[Anonymous No.12636066]

>>12623352
>>12623368
>>12623373
I just love these...

[Anonymous No.12636117]

also the Slothrop-Marvy hot air balloon pie bossfight

[Anonymous No.12636229]

>>12635465
The copypasta is older than that board, nothing will be better than the original /pol/ one, and /his/ is terrible, you communist redditor

[Anonymous No.12637847]

>>12633506
The "books" jab is like spinning the back wheels on a flaming corpse. I want so much to cry out "World Star!" with unrestrained gusto whenever I read a good one of these pastas!

[Anonymous No.12637943]

>>12637847
cringe

[Anonymous No.12637976]

>>12621857
the hoxha edit was better desu

[Anonymous No.12638021]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12638059]

>>12637976
Then post it faggot

[Anonymous No.12638641]

>>12622128
good shit

[Anonymous No.12638682]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12639099]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12639104]

>>12622396
'please no, corn father'

[Anonymous No.12639190]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12639205]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12639227]

[Anonymous No.12639236]

>>12621891
These were always cringe and unfunny

[Anonymous No.12639253]

>>12635729
not sure if this is real desu and that's a good thing

[Anonymous No.12639259]

>>12622128
we need more of these.

[Anonymous No.12639430]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12639464]

>>12639259
Make them

[Anonymous No.12639520]

>>12633469
>>12633506
A dualist Plato scholar philosophy professor and designer of hydroelectric power stations was teaching a class on René Descartes, known metaphysician. ”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Descartes and accept that his "cogito ergo sum" is the most self-evident idea in the history of humanity, even more evident than "panta rei"!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, deep ecologist Heideggerian traditional farmer who had written over 1500 papers on the ontological difference and understood the necessity of a new German beginning for western philosophy and fully supported all hermeneutization of ontology spoke:

”What is that by terms of which this rock can be said to exist, pinhead?” he said in a 19th century rural dialect of German

The arrogant professor smirked quite modernly and smugly replied, “Matter, you stupid postmodernist.”

”Wrong. Matter is just an a posteriori theoretical understanding of reality. If its Being, as you say, is a metaphysical substance… then its Being is a being.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Discourse on the Method. He stormed out of the room crying those dualist crocodile tears. The same tears modernists cry for the “res cogitans” when they jealously try to claw wonder from the world by making it a standing-reserve of resources. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Aristotle Spinoza, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an inauthentic nihilist. He wished so much that he could experience aletheia, but he himself had created metaphysical cages that prevented Being from showing itself!

The students applauded and all enrolled in the University of Freiburg that day and accepted historicity and finitude as the defining characteristics of human existence. An eagle named “Ereignis” flew into the room and perched atop the portrait of Franz Brentano and shed a tear on the chalk. Sein und Zeit was read several times, and Being itself was disclosed and propagated authenticity and existential dread throughout the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died after being ran over by a motorized fleet of agricultural machinery and nothing happened to him after that because being-towards-death is a condition of possibility for experience.

[Anonymous No.12639529]

>>12633469
>>12633506
>>12639520
A god-fearing natural law theorist professor and lawyer for a conservative think tank was teaching a class on Aquinas, known crypto-theist. "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the LORD Jesus Christ and accept that Saint Thomas Aquinas was the finest legal mind ever."

At this moment, a suave, cool, turtle-neck-draped critical legal theorist with a beret and a rockin' beard who had written over 1500 papers on the sociological foundations of legal systems and their relation to inherent power structures in society spoke:

"If God is the one who establishes the correctness of law, then who elected God? I didn't vote for him."

The arrogant lawyer smirked quite conservatively and smugly replied, “You don't vote for god, you godless communist."

"Then your God doesn't derive his sovereignty from the will of the governed, and is thus a tyrannical dictator, meaning according your own creation myth, Lucifer was correct to rebel and overthrow him. QED, we should all worship Satan."

The lawyer was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Summa Theologica. He stormed out of the room crying those theist crocodile tears. The same tears conservatives cry for the regressive and bigoted laws that are used to instill false consciousness in the working classes.

There is no doubt that at this point our lawyer was so shaken in his faith that he realized he spent his life chasing a fairy tale when he could have been out there dismantling the patriarchal systems of oppression that continue to empower religious and political institutions that have outlived their benefit to mankind.

The students applauded and all went out and bought every book ever written by a member of the Frankfurt School and joined the Communist Party. An eagle named "Zionist Conspiracy to Undermine the Western Nuclear Family" flew into the room and perched atop the portrait of Theodor Adorno and shed a tear on the chalk. MacKinnon's "Feminism Unmodified" was read several times, and every student decided that day to be gender-non-conforming as a radical way to tear down the structures of oppression present in the university setting.

The lawyer was promptly disbarred for being illogical and a theist, and was forced to live out his days ekeing out a living making the conservative talk radio circuit and selling books about how homosexuals and Muslims were in an alliance with lizards from Mars to kill all the white men.

[Anonymous No.12639536]

>>12621802
Nasty old man.

[Anonymous No.12639611]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12639676]

>>12633494
You're right about the containment boards, but I distinctly remember a progressive surge in threads about jews/censure/world conspiracy/races/sexism (that last one is more recent I think) over the years. Can't pinpoint exactly when it became to detach itself from the regular background noise of negativity, but I'd say somewhere between late 2013 and early 2015. But perhaps it's something that ebbs and flow, who knows.

>>12633506
>>12639520
>>12639529
Thanks guys, this is great.

[Anonymous No.12639795]

>>12622396
please no, cornfather

[Anonymous No.12639856]

>>12622396
Please no, corn father.

[Anonymous No.12639887]

>>12639676
>the original

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx.

Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

How old is this rock, pinhead?

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied 4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian

Wrong. Its been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real then it should be an animal now

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named Small Government flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.

[Anonymous No.12640139]

>>12621802
>whorish Nora
>such a way with words that lad

[Anonymous No.12641437]

[Anonymous No.12641445]

[Anonymous No.12641449]

>>12639887
>samretard
Cringe

[Anonymous No.12641450]

[Anonymous No.12641452]

[Anonymous No.12641459]

[Anonymous No.12641548]

>>12621949
my sides

[Anonymous No.12641700]

>>12641450
classic

[Anonymous No.12641753]

From a Quora post asking why Bloom likes Pynchon but not DFW.

[Anonymous No.12641787]

>>12641753
Is DFW like Heller? I really enjoyed Catch-22, but I've been putting off buying/reading Wallace because he seems like a smug uni writer, a Barth of a different generation.

[Anonymous No.12641817]

>>12622396
' please no, corn father'

[Anonymous No.12641839]

>>12641449
shut up tranny

[Anonymous No.12642613]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12642645]

>>12641753
Imagine living such a life that drives you to become the sort of person who defends the Harry Potter books on the internet

[Anonymous No.12642733]

>ywn browse 2010-2013 4chan again

[Anonymous No.12643192]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12643410]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12643428]

[Anonymous No.12643432]

>>12641787
He wrote a whole ass novella in Girl with Curious Hair about why Barth sucks. You might like him

[Anonymous No.12643455]

>>12622048
I had no idea Sasha Foxx was such a patrician

[Anonymous No.12643466]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12643468]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12643519]

[Anonymous No.12643665]

>>12622396
Pleade no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12643721]

[Anonymous No.12643983]

>>12622396
please no, cornfather

[rangaha !KJKZ7n2h3I No.12644031]

[Anonymous No.12644055]

>>12639520
best one i've ever seen

[rangaha !KJKZ7n2h3I No.12644061]

[rangaha !KJKZ7n2h3I No.12644138]

[Anonymous No.12644372]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12644389]

These aren't funny

[Anonymous No.12645409]

>be Beat Generation-era vagabond
>having cigarettes and rotgut wine with the gang
>Ginsburg shouting gibberish poetry
>Burroughs absolutely wasted on heroin and chocolates
>been thinkin’ about my best friend’s wife washing dishes and cooking food for us in the next room
>would like to make her
>“’scuse me, where’s Cody? I’ve been a fire lookout for two months. Thinkin about making his wife.”
>“Duluoz, you madman, Cody’s out working as a brakeman, dontcha know?”
>Cody was always way ahead of the times
>“Besides, Japh is in town and he’s bringin a coupla girls to the blues cellar on Columbus tonight. You can make one of them.”
>stare into the dark sad night
>get drunk on rotgut wine
>abandon Buddhism because there is nothing in the world
>suddenly a stolen car rolls up
>Cody and a couple of adolescent boys get out of the car
>thinkin his crazy.beautiful.madman.california.poetry.genius-entrance will distract the gang long enough for me to make his wife
>go to the kitchen and hold Evelyn from behind
>she dries off her hands and holds me
>did I mention that it was a long dark sad San Francisco night?
>Cody appears in the kitchen
>“Duluoz you madman! Are you tryin to make my wife?”
>“b-b-but I was just…”
>hear a commotion in the living room
>the adolescent boys are unconscious on the floor
>raped by Ginsburg

[Anonymous No.12645550]

>>12639227
It's not iambic, and it's driving me nuts

[Anonymous No.12645556]

>>12641787
He's actually more like Salinger than any other writer. I'm surprised nobody seems to have picked up on this

[Anonymous No.12645634]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12645844]

>>12622396
Please, no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12646197]

>>12643519

[Anonymous No.12646364]

>>12635555
Going to check this post for Kekian thread hygiene

[Anonymous No.12646424]

>>12646197
>/fit/'s idealized narrative is a strong humble man teaching you what he knows and bonding fraternally/paternally
>/lit/'s is being a "mentor" and fucking someone else's life up (lmao it's alright that I gave someone acid without even explaining what it was, I was fucked up dude!)
if it wasn't so obviously fake, this would be infuriating. "my disciple," fuck me

[Anonymous No.12646499]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12646521]

[Anonymous No.12647141]

>>12622396
Please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12647159]

>>12633487
>2014 is now a long time ago
>posts saved from a phone are now a long time ago
I'm not sure if you're deliberately fucking with me or accidentally

[Anonymous No.12647199]

>>12635718
what does it say about me that I actually quite like this?
not the outlook, it's incredibly pessimistic and at least a little overreaching, but I like the writing
it's got that over-intense breathless run-on thing going on but I'm kind of a sucker for that, plus his descriptions are good, and I feel like there's something else

[Anonymous No.12647288]

>>12646424
who said it was an ideal to aspire to become
if it's an ideal, it's an ideal to create, to write a story that has that impact and that flare (although it could certainly be better)

[Anonymous No.12647295]

>>12621902
Underrated

[Anonymous No.12647378]

>>12622396
please no corn father

[Anonymous No.12647558]

>>12622396
Please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12647582]

>>12621962
I honestly have no idea who this is trying to make fun of.

[Anonymous No.12647584]

>>12622396

[Anonymous No.12647588]

>>12622396
I intentionally design my prose as impenetrable and the stylistic equivalent to getting punched in the dick real bad. Fuck, corn father.

[Anonymous No.12647591]

>>12623346
>is fist fucking
>no longer genitalized?
HOW IS IT FUCKING WITHOUT GENITALS YOU DIPSHIT

[Anonymous No.12647595]

>>12647591
>he fist fucks genitals
>not his furpartners earhole
how quaint

[Anonymous No.12648363]

>>12643432
>>12645556
Thanks anons, will try some of his stuff.

[Anonymous No.12648492]

>>12647159
>maybe if I intentionally miss the point i can brag about being an oldfag
kys post-2010 tryhard

[Anonymous No.12648748]

>>12647591
Because a fist isn’t a penis, pretty straightforward desu

[Anonymous No.12648924]

>>12630146
based

[Anonymous No.12648951]

>>12647582
How new are you

[Anonymous No.12648970]

>>12639227
> For sale
> Big guy
> For you

Kek

[Anonymous No.12649040]

>>12639529
no mention of rent boys flogged in bathhouses, 3/10

[Anonymous No.12649073]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12649636]

>>12622396
please no, corn father

[Anonymous No.12649702]

Anyone have that pic of the various footnotes about where information was gained from, scaling up to 'revealed to me in a dream'?

[Anonymous No.12649711]

Lit

[Anonymous No.12649721]

>>12649702

[Anonymous No.12649745]

>>12649721
Learning it's from wrestling killed the meme for me

[Anonymous No.12649757]

>>12649745
Why? Did you not know who Vince McMahon is? That doesn't make it less funny.

[Anonymous No.12649758]

>>12649745
Are you really bitching because of a reaction pic, of which some 99% come from tv and movies? Genuinely kill yourself you tryhard retard.

[Anonymous No.12649760]

>>12649745
>not knowing who vince mcmahon is
cringe

[Anonymous No.12649774]

>>12649745
Vince McMahon is based
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEDP5-O9MZI

[Anonymous No.12649822]

>>12622396

please no, corn father