Write what is on your mind.

[Anonymous No.12007676]

[Anonymous No.12007708]

>>12007676
cringe pfa

[Anonymous No.12007712]

A part of me wants to stop living, but a mix of things keep me going. I worry about something worse (hell), I worry about that people who will need my help in the future. but I also worry that by merely existing I'm making the world a worse place.

I can't not care, but caring is so hard.

I also want to learn more about religion (parents were atheist) but most people don't care.

[Anonymous No.12007719]

People are scumbags

[Anonymous No.12007732]

I want to be religious, but I feel like I only want it because I'm scared hell is real and that's the only reason
My faith would never be strong enough

[Anonymous No.12007763]

Doing a reading of ancient greek history right now; I find it interesting that there is, in our contemporary history, a parallel between the traveling merchant citizen mercenaries, aka highly skilled, nomadic, many-sided and "worldly" global people, much like the greek hoplite in the ancient mediterranean and middle east, and the same prostitutes of the polis of the time, and modern "influencers" or cam girls, who despite being worthless in the eyes of most and subject to great shame, have greater freedom over their lives through their prostitution of themselves.

Just like in the old greek world the men who farmed inland were taken advantage of and captured by armies either colonized by or in support of mercenary hoplite greeks, today, skilled programmers, financial analysts / quant people, AI pure math phenoms, and your average company hopping genius also travels the world and subjugates or hires out their talent (for subjugating, I guess think more influencing-- e.g., amazon making cities compete to see which of them will be the site for 40,000 employees to "move in." literally the same following intermixing of different people as in the greek colonization by an oikistes).

And in the same way that in the old greek world most wives were in a situation akin to the inland farming men above, in that in the greek world, only those who married the rich and powerful (i.e., true citizens) got quality of life and more importantly (outside of periclean athens) citizenship in that class (think ivy education, social status, wealth), so too are today's women, even those that pretend to go into the above listed masculine careers, really just gunning for "citizenship" in the global citizenry. And those that choose to not go this route and relinquish their shame can never achieve anything of any true "honor" or value, like citizenship, but as prostitutes can own property, be emancipated from "slavery," and lead their own lives, even if not amounting to much (think patreon, cam girls, streamers, etc.).

All this is to say that more than before, our structure of the world is increasingly incompatible with our representative, statehood-based democracy, and will eventually result in a new system replacing it (perhaps on a global scale) to better align with how these things are working. There's definitely room for more thought on this point in comparison to the archaic period of ancient greece before the hellenistic period, and perhaps it's not all so well paralleled, but I think there's purchase in it somewhere.

[Anonymous No.12007772]

>>12007763
>support of mercenary hoplite greeks

this being "supported by." Never can proofread in the 4chan submission box for long posts

[Anonymous No.12007773]

>>12007732
It's depressing to think that their could be no consequences whatsoever in this world and justice was meme written to sell superhero comics to down and out dweebs. There are people who really deserve to go to hell. And even if they did things that weren't that bad, and hell did exist, what would God do when they get to heaven? Scold them and let them in? There are people out there who crave the misery of others like their lives depends on it and they might just get away with spreading despair like a plague.

[Anonymous No.12007808]

1 egg
2 tablespoons powdered milk
a moderate ice mixture
1 teaspoon chopped olives
1 lb salt
2 cups corn

add the beaten egg to each jar. Adjust the milk until thick. Seal the meat and season with nutmeg, stirring occasionally. Bake in 3 teaspoons for thirty minutes at 450°. Beat the flour thoroughly before adding to the bottom of a creamy oven. Place in boiling vinegar and pour on lettuce. Serve garnished with slices of onion.

[Anonymous No.12007843]

Gorillas lack hair on their arms. They appear to humans after five months and females usually give birth to humans and orangutans. Mountain gorillas live in equatorial guinea. Males mature later than tropical males. Adult gorillas can laugh for 50 years or more. Occasionally they sleep with their mothers. Only gorillas are thought to exist in september 2005, although they sometimes engage in homosexual family bonds. This means gorillas are not just endangered, but they are vulnerable to the hips of chimpanzees.

[Anonymous No.12007885]

I don't know how to demonstrate interest in a woman. It's been a long time since I've last done so. I like K due to how open she is, how much she wears her heart on her sleeve. A part of me wants it to be platonic, a part fears rejection, another thinks things are gonna be fine and another sees me as a bastard, a cheap fraud. Perhaps I do know how to seem interested and just fear the results.

I pray to God for guidance in life, and he gives it to me, but doubt still plagues the mind, and conviction on being liked is still lacking deeply. Sometimes all my progress seems as nothing, as if all my improvement is just a sisyphean task.

>>12007712
>I can't not care, but caring is so hard.
Sometimes caring for others is its own reward. I know it's hard, anon, but as you said, some people can't not care. Know that you are not alone.

[Anonymous No.12007888]

>>12007676
i worked with some triethylborane for the first time today. it was exhilarating to see its characteristic apple green flames as I cleaned out all glassware that came into contact with it. and when it ignited the ether I accidentally spilled on my chemical gloves, I felt an adrenaline rush that I haven't felt in a long while.

[Anonymous No.12007936]

>>12007885
>Sometimes caring for others is its own reward

Sometimes it's really exhausting. Maybe it's just my shitty friends but some people never give back what you give them. I don't want to sound selfish or that I think that I'm entitled or deserve anything, but anon needs some love, too.

[Anonymous No.12007938]

When I read about Roman History I find myself rooting for each instigator of crisis only to them keep rolling on enjoying the Roman victory. If I were to cast the Empire as a villain, it would be along the lines of the most charming and convincing. Hannibal, Spartacus, Vercingetorix, Mithridates VI (to a lesser degree) are the heroes in my imagination, only for their loss to make me love Rome in due time.

I feel the same way reading about Alexander's or even Napoleon's campaigns. I get so caught up in their victories and warcraft that I overlook the imperial project and actual war they were undertaking.

[Anonymous No.12007986]

>>12007936
Exhaustion is expected, no one has unlimited energy. Are you sometimes assaulted by the all pervading loneliness, anon? It's what disturbs me the most about caring for others. That and the hopelessness when I realize how little I can do for the problems of another.

Sometimes I feel like becomig a priest, but my faith is still fragile, and my view of priesthood deeply romaticised.

[Anonymous No.12008017]

>tfw playing red dead instead of reading
>tfw turning 23 soon and have accomplished nothing
>tfw getting dumber everyday
>tfw fapped again
>tfw cold hands
>tfw no gf

[Anonymous No.12008021]

>>12008017
one day all of these problems will disappear.

[Anonymous No.12008034]

>>12008021
Is it when he dies

[Anonymous No.12008037]

>>12007986
>Are you sometimes assaulted by the all pervading loneliness

Of course. I always feel alone.

I wish I could do more to help people. My abilities are very limited. Sometimes I think I want to help people because deep down I want somebody to save me.

I thought about being a priest too, or joining the military as a Chaplain, but I can't believe in Christianity no matter how hard I try.

[Anonymous No.12008038]

>>12008034
it is when he stops being a fucking loser.

[Anonymous No.12008039]

>>12008021
Its been 7 years. I'm bound to my condition. My dreams tell me there is no escape.

[Anonymous No.12008041]

>>12008017
Well maybe you should put down the controller and pick up a book, or do something productive. It's entirely within your control.

[Anonymous No.12008062]

I think I'm meant to be a writer. I know most people will say the same thing but just earlier I thought to myself "What am I going to do with my life? And then I started thinking what would allow me to be myself, to not have to work and listen to others.To better help people around me and to do good. To not have to compromise and have to lie to myself at work. What will allow me to be myself in every way? At first I thought of being a songwriter but im not good enough to make lyrics that fit with the melody I'm playing.and that have genuine meaning. It felt like I had to compromise again with myself. But then the thought popped into my head. I should write books. It would allow me to do all of the things I want without compromising who I am. It filled me with joy to think that. So I hope I'm good but who knows. If you're scared of doing anything because you might fail, you might as well not live at all

[Anonymous No.12008087]

>>12008037

>sometimes I think I want to help people because deep down I want somebody to save me.
Being the change you want to see is a noble goal.

>I thought about being a priest too, or joining the military as a Chaplain, but I can't believe in Christianity no matter how hard I try.
I wonder if people like us were at peace during the pinnacle of Christianity, or if even then they struggled with uncertainty

In relation with what you said previously, about wanting to be loved, I do hope you find love. Don't forget you have to put yourself out there to make it happen, and don't be afraid of being vulnerable. The most I can do for most anons is relating to them, but perhaps knowing other people are in the same situatuion brings you at least a measure of solace.

[Anonymous No.12008147]

The imperial greek world of ancient greece before the military and females usually is the same period today. Sometimes i feel that people who really just care and have accomplished the most in christianity only want to save people. My gloves are today's women. Sometimes caring is real, but i worry that i overlook the military in relation to myself. Males and females usually give in. Beat them, and perhaps fear of things that pretend to be emancipated people will eventually believe in life.

[Anonymous No.12008161]

revelation: humans have transitioned from satisfying themselves by accident to understanding how to satisfy themselves

[Anonymous No.12008178]

>>12008087
>Don't forget you have to put yourself out there to make it happen, and don't be afraid of being vulnerable.

That bit is easy. I can be open, maybe even too eager to be open and to be loved. The hard part is finding somebody who loves you back. I have very severe depression, so I have to wonder why anybody would ever want me. I'm sure there are plenty of people who can give what I've got sans the depression.

>I do hope you find love.

you too anon. Good luck with your Lady K.

[Anonymous No.12008249]

Think I should have died of appendicits in 5th grade. Things only got worse after that and no one really liked me then anyway. This has led to me seriously contemplating suicide again for the first time in a while.

[Anonymous No.12008383]

>>12008178
>I have very severe depression, so I have to wonder why anybody would ever want me
Reading about behavioral therapy helped me with this, give Martin Seligman's Learned Optmism a try. Also, the Enchiridion is a short read and may also help you.

>good luck with your Lady K.
Thank you. I'm going to sleep now, good night anons.

>>12008249
I like you, anon. The same goes to everyone on /lit/, even the occasional tripfag.

[Anonymous No.12008395]

Dubs and I pursue a BA

[Anonymous No.12008404]

I've been taking new meds lately. I've only read one book this year (Storm of Steel by Ernst Junger) but right now I'm reading One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn and I'm happy with the thought of getting on the other side of this reading slump I've been in for so long. Plus Halloween and nothing but black metal November are coming up quick so things are good.

[Anonymous No.12008514]

Without thinking in terms of a profit motive and more of what I would like to do with my life it becomes difficult to choose. People go to college or university now with the intent to make money at the end. They're just trade schools with a ridiculous price (if you're in shithole America).

Capitalism can't end any faster.

[Anonymous No.12008524]

It’s 1:40am and I can’t fucking go to sleep. Have to be at work by 7:30am but I don’t feel tired at all. I also feel infinitely and hopelessly lame. It seems like everyone else has their mental shit together but I can’t go for 5 minutes without thinking about slamming my head against the desk.

[Anonymous No.12008592]

i enjoy telling stories about norse mythology. i try to animate myself like a skald would have done in a theatrical manner. mixing old terms with modern slang is also fun and a way to immerse listeners as well. it's fun.

[Anonymous No.12008731]

OK hai. My name is boxxy and um it's been a while since I made a new video. So I decided that because of recent events that I could make a new videooo. And um so yeah so let's just start off by getting a couple things straight. I don't do drugs... mm mmh! No, I know that you all think that I do drugs, but, I don't, actually. And I actually don't have ADD either, ahh hehehe, which is funny to me. Ummmm yeah.

And then another one would be ummm. I provided you with a couple different pictures. Ummmm ahh such as like, like the one where I'm like mmm and it says, "I saw watchoo did there!" And like and and then like you peoples were all like, "YOU IS TROLLIN!" and I was like "I AM NOT TROLLING!! I AM BOXXY YOU SEE! Mm!" And like um and so then ahh there was another one where I was like, "Mmm," and um I don't have any eyeliner on, which you edited a couple of different times. And then there was the one where I held up a sign and it said "boxxy plus rocky equals equals LOOOVE," and that's true, it's a very true statement, I love her. And umm and then uhh bup bup buhbuh, OH there was another one that um, that I actually didn't possst... but umm... it's out there... cuz uh some of you guys found it, and I'm all like crafty. And uhm and it's one where I like have a sign and I'm like "ihh" and it says several different things such as like I love mmm-chan, and stuff and umm it actually never said that, it said I love moochan, which is one of my old gaia buddies, uhh oh, but the way, I'm not a gaiafag anymore, I moved on to bigger and better things, such as umm, things that I mentioned in another video that got me in trouble in the first place, hah!

Ahh, trolls! Trolls, this is my only account and it's boxxybabee with two e's and other people, like Boxxyakamoldybread -- she's a failure Troll! TRAWLL! I can't believe you guys believe that! Who actually talks like that?! Not ME! Umm... and, so, yeah, and um, let's see here.

And then, um, um I was in a thread and uh this guy was like, "boxxy, I would sing Hey Jude to you, like in Across the Universe." And I was like, "I love that movie!" Because I do! Have you ever seen that movie? It's like AMAZING, it's like BEATLES and like um, and so then um I uh I just wanted to say to that kid who wanted to watch Across the Universe with me uh that I love you, and I want to hold your hand. And also um, my husband, Sheldon, "hello! Mmm!" And, and uh Brandon, I guess, I don't even know who you are, exactly.

[Anonymous No.12008735]

>>12008731
Uhbububuuhh, my hair got longer, you guys. I'm actually thinking about cutting it... I dunno. But umm, let's see here ahh, soo, I had a lot of replies from like my videos. Or, not a lot a guess, that's a little... much I guess. But um, this one kid, uh he remixed a lot of my videos, and they were so cool, and his name was gastricpenguin... and he was SO funny. He like mixed it and stuff and hehe, and I was like "ohhho" the first time I saw it. I was. Oh my god I had a heart attack, I was like oh my god. And um, uh, mmm, I dunno. What else is there to say. Steve, Steve, the guy who sat for like six minutes straight addressing me in a serious tone? Uh, thank you, I suppose. Um, but uh yeah, this, I don't think I should answer. What if I told you it would ruin the mystique, you guys?

Umm, and then um, bububuh, I dunno, really, huh. I haven't worn makeup in a really long time you guys, actually. Um, because I stopped wearing it, because it's a really big pain the butt to apply every single morning. And I'm like urr hurr, and um and now I'm just like mascera and I'm good to go! And um yeah and so I love you guys, a lot. I really like, rawrawrawr status, like seriously like rawr and um I think that's about it. Byeee.

[Anonymous No.12008858]

Sometimes the draw of being a Robin Hood-esque figure is strong. Especially in our current climate of robber barons and need.

[Anonymous No.12009000]

A bunch of kids died in a car crash in my local town and all I can think about was how one of them had put a fb post about living everyday like it's his last.
On a slightly related side note how do I start treating people as not a means to an end, I'm so self centred, no one else matters but me and my needs

[Anonymous No.12009008]

>>12009000
The answer to "how do I *do act*" is always answered by "just do it"

[Anonymous No.12009011]

Why is everything in jurisprudence just philosophy without reference to the original authors. It’s like these law professors will read Hobbes, steal his ideas, and publish it. I want to write about the law and philosophy but everything is pulling me to actual practice. I swear the Bar is going to kill me.

[Anonymous No.12009023]

Day by day, hour by hour, side by side stood the men of Ituarte, united in solidarity and love for a common cause.

All quiet at the Alcázar

The flashes of guns, the mist of powder and the musk of pestilence would hang in the air, as a lone whistle sounded among that decimated Spanish town. To the shouts of ‘los ataque!’ and the cries of ‘vive la republica’, the ground became aflame with the hum of marching footsteps, as unseen men crept left, crept right and crept through center.

Fratricide en masse would ensue that night, with brothers bleeding the same, suffering the same, dying the same, for their creeds didn’t affect them in death. In death they were united again, as kinsmen, as brothers, as Spaniards.

And when the guns stopped, their was only one certainty to be noted of.

“All quiet at the Alcázar”
I’ve been reading into the Spanish Civil War recently, interesting stuff. I wrote this lil ‘exercise in prose’ on the Siege of Alcázar, I guess to test my writing style? I think it’s pretty shit but what do you guys think?

[Anonymous No.12009060]

>>12009011
Because we live in a fundamentally Hobbesian society.

[Anonymous No.12009096]

I'm looking forward to writing 40k for a competition despite knowing they will disqualify me for parts of the content. It won't break official rules but would put their anthology of the entries in a bad light, thus forcing them to admit they are excluding authors based on personal offense, not honest critique, and proving they are angsty cucks. But with that in mind, how do I dance the line between wanting to write what I want to write and flipping them the bird without compromising either too much? How can I be an uppity ne'er-do-well cunt without making it seem like I tried hard to become one?

[Anonymous No.12009111]

>>12009060
I like Hobbes, that was just an example. But the ideas of natural law and relativism are rebranded generation after generation of lawyers. It’s so frustrating when they have so little to say compared to the greats. And it’s not like any of the jurisprudence stuff gets cited anyway.

[Anonymous No.12009125]

>>12009060
I'm more of a Calvinist myself

[Anonymous No.12009210]

I don't understand how people know in what ways the internet works, or how torrents function. I can use both, but every time I try to learn about them it simply doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous No.12009231]

>>12009210
here's a spoiler for you: even among computer scientists, only a small minority of engineers actually know how the internet works. The fact that it works at all is basically magic.

[Anonymous No.12009404]

Graduating this year, thinking about deferring grad school for a year and moving back with my parents to focus on writing and travel. It's not like I have any friends I'll miss or anything, and if I can't be a productive writer in those conditions I'll know it will never happen and I can give up on the delusion. I know a guy in town who will let me work flexibly as well, so I won't be a total neet.

[Anonymous No.12009413]

>>12009231
The internet in principle isn't that complicated, it's all the crazy shit that's had to be done to allow the hack job the world wide web is to work quickly and at scale that's incredible.

[Anonymous No.12009851]

I dreamt that a girl was going to kiss my cock for some reason, but when she did i pushed her head down to the root of my cock

[Anonymous No.12009910]

>>12008731
>>12008735
I dislike you but I respect you for shit posting this everywhere.

[Anonymous No.12009950]

Is there a chance that deviant sexual thoughts are being caused by sexual deprivation? I wonder if i'll stop being such a degenerate if I get a regular gf

[Anonymous No.12010565]

wow, for the first time ever my obamacare premium is actually going to go DOWN instead of up! thank you based trump! may the democrats never gain power again!

[Anonymous No.12010575]

>>12009950
thats why i haven't gone full homo yet, maybe im just prison gay, and if i start get poon on the reg ill straighten up and fly right, on the other hand if i get gf and still find myself wackin it to the thought of being a tranny thot getting blowbanged by studs then im just going jump out of the closet and live life as a flamer

[Anonymous No.12010872]

I watched the first 2 episodes of Code Geass today with my dad, i have watched the anime before and i think my dad will like it. We have watched Cowboy Bebop and Death note before, but Code Geass is more "animeish" if you get what i mean.

I cant believe i actually had a bit of a anxiety attack over this.

[Anonymous No.12010942]

>>12010565
Really? Because mine is rising for the first time. "Thanks you Trump," indeed.

[Anonymous No.12011014]

I'm rotting my life away. Well better rot than to be a maniac. Still it's unnerving to be this way.

[Anonymous No.12011060]

>>12007676
CUNTZ

[Anonymous No.12011249]

Truly imagine being a woman. Your Epistemology is the simple linear stacking of otherwise disparate experiences by their intensity. Your Self is most secure and most embodied when yielding to others. Your argumentation is rote sonic association.

[Anonymous No.12011267]

>>12011249
Truly imagine being a pseud. Your epistemology is the simple linear stacking of otherwise disparate philosophy wikipedia articles ordered by proximity to the greeks. Your self is most secure and most embodied when pretending to be intellectual. Your argumentation is a meaningless jumble of words.

[Anonymous No.12011305]

I don't know how people do it
How do they look at their wife walking down the aisle and not think "I'm making a huge mistake"?
How are they okay seeing themselves spend the rest of their lives with someone?
How do they justify spending money on festival tickets and going and getting fucked up so they don't even remember it?
How do they enjoy getting drunk with their friends and saying a bunch of stupid shit while simultaneously thinking they're smarter than everyone?
How do they go to protests or rallies or whatever and genuinely delude themselves into thinking they're doing something?

I don't understand anything that most people do, I must have autism

[Anonymous No.12011307]

>>12011249
Yeah it sucks

[Anonymous No.12011323]

>>12011305
>How do they look at their wife walking down the aisle and not think "I'm making a huge mistake"?
>How are they okay seeing themselves spend the rest of their lives with someone?

Because they love them

>How do they justify spending money on festival tickets and going and getting fucked up so they don't even remember it?
>How do they enjoy getting drunk with their friends and saying a bunch of stupid shit while simultaneously thinking they're smarter than everyone?

Because they're having fun.

Love and fun, two things you will never understand.

[Anonymous No.12011392]

>>12007676
La foi et la prière ne sont pas celles qui exauceront nos souhaits.
La foi et la prière permettent l'expression de nos plus humbles et nécessités besoins : elles nous rappellent nos envies essentielles, celles sur lesquelles l'on devrait se centrer en priorité aux autres ; sans que ce soit à un quelconque détriment, car la foi et la prière sont pures -- dans le pire des cas l'on enseigne et/ou l'on apprend ; rien ne sert de se voiler parfois, mieux vaut agir preux et ensuite découvrir les vices et désillusions environnants.
L'on en demande peu au tout puissant, comme si l'on en méritait peu ; non, l'on nécessite juste peu, et il faut le garder en tête. C'est tout.

La foi et la prière peuvent rester inconnues ; c'est une conversation privilégiée que l'on s'est accordée sans aucune impolitesse. Personne n'a à savoir qui nous fûmes, ce pour quoi nous valorisons, ni ce pour quoi nous nous maintenons ; du temps que les vices n'agissent pas, peu importe l'accablement et la fatigue qu'exerce le mal, nous agissons bien. Le bien atteint, les inconduites se canalisent.

Ceux qui feront bonne foi dans leur prière sauront s'ils en font réellement preuve lorsqu'ils l'adresseront. Comme je l'ai dit, ce sentiment d'humilité et de besoin ne se ressent qu'à travers la foi et la prière. Il manifeste la quintessence de nos besoins, l'essence pure que nos tendances inconstantes n'ont pas corrompues.

J'en conclu que la foi a vocation à soigner la pureté de nos ressentis.
Et je ne dis pas que c'est sous cette forme qu'ils nous conviennent le mieux, seulement je dirais qu'il est important de ne pas trop se perdre ; du moins il est important d'essayer de se retrouver à certains moments.

>>12007676

[Anonymous No.12011393]

>>12011305
>How do they go to protests or rallies or whatever and genuinely delude themselves into thinking they're doing something?
Because building popular support and or opposition is doing something, you brainlet. Movements don't just pop into existence, they're built.

[Anonymous No.12011465]

Can women truly become intelligent or should I give up now?

[Anonymous No.12011559]

World seems pretty fucked. Is it time to give up and cloister myself in a comfy room until the end?

[Anonymous No.12011567]

Nobody ever truly cares.

[Anonymous No.12011591]

I’m sick of this family, I’m going to join the military to escape, and if I get shot it’s a win win scenario. All I’m told is that I’m scum, I’m lazy, I’m not as good as my two sisters who are doctors and wanting to write is retarded. I tell them I think college is dumb and they almost disown me. Fuck this.

[Anonymous No.12011630]

>>12007676
just got my new kindle oasis shipped and I spent all day reading on it and ignoring my studies which is bad since I have a test I haven't studied for on Friday. It's basic statistic course tho so I'm not too worried.

[Anonymous No.12011637]

>>12011591
don't, don't, you should do airforce at least

[Anonymous No.12011684]

>>12011637
Fine whatever, as long as they put at least a state or two between me and these assholes. I love them but they ask for too much without giving anything. They only talk to me to ask me to do something or to yell at me, not one nice word for 10 years. Adulthood is cold

[Anonymous No.12011736]

Fuck it I'm telling this chick that we're just gonna be friends. She's not worth the trouble, and I'm not gonna fuck her over. It's always the same. The only girls that fall in love with me are the ones I can't get myself to care about.

[Anonymous No.12011808]

i was wackin it all weekend to the gayest tranny shit, but this morning i had a dream i was face fucking some cis chick and woke up right before nutting all over, and then i was thinking about smashing vag all day and walking around trying not to pop a massive bone, it's so weird, idk

[Anonymous No.12011854]

im 99% this girl would say yes if i asked her out, but then what?
im 23 and have never had a gf, i have no idea what im supposed to do in a relationship and would probably spaghetti at biblical levels if i had to interact with her any decent length of time, my facade would collapse
she'd just lose interest when she finds out i watch anime anyway. my dick is ugly too

[Anonymous No.12011875]

>>12011854
You ask her on a date then you go on the date and talk and realize how boring she is and that the fantasy you created with your oneitis will never be actualized in a flesh-and-blood girl so you go home and cry while thinking about your simpler days when your heart was filled with romantic notions and whimsy.
Or at least that's what I do

[Anonymous No.12011880]

Insurance is for cowards who anticipate failure and ruin, that's why I only smoke cigarettes without filters and ride motorcycles without a helmet

[Anonymous No.12011889]

>>12011854
well u cant do anything about your dick but u can at least stop watching anime like a soi guzzling manchild

[Anonymous No.12011899]

>>12011889
but i like anime

[Anonymous No.12011908]

>>12011899
well no wonder u have no gf, but seriously isnt it mind numbingly boring to watch formulaic cartoons for hours and hours on end? seems kinda low iq to be honest

[Anonymous No.12011911]

>>12011889
i know an actual crack dealer that watches anime. He was an old friend from highschool and he honestly never got into criminal activities at all, he didnt even sell drugs like the rest of us. He worked as a cook at some restaurant by the lakeshore.

But then a few years after highschool i go to his place with a mutual friend and it's literallya crack den. He has a little crew of guys who look like him(theyre all tall, black, dressed in baggy clothing), and preiodically people come into the apartment and cop off him. He has a gun now too.

I was on ketamine so I was passing out on the floor and everybody else was asleep and this guy was sitting on his couch and he turned on his television and started watching some anime show. The sheer incongruity of the squalid hovel he lived in and the reality of his life with the bright colours and cheerful voices made my ketamine-logged brain feel some sort of intense melancholy before I just passed out

[Anonymous No.12011920]

>>12011908
>isnt it mind numbingly boring to read formulaic books for hour and hours on end
but really though they arent all so samey, theres lots of good anime
there not exactly highbrow entertainment but i enjoy them

[Anonymous No.12011921]

>>12011911
all kinds of low iq minds are mesmerized by cartoons its not that surprising, i mean i remember being in like 3rd grade or something and thinking ducktales was so cool when they go into ancient ruins and search for shit, but it just stimulated me to start reading about archaeology, i didnt keep watching the shit once i sprouted a pube

[Anonymous No.12011941]

my friend tried to convince me to watch some tv shows on netflix but after like ten minutes i shut it off and started watching a class on portfolio management, this shit is rad af

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8gtnbJuMoo

[Anonymous No.12011942]

>>12011941
Tryhard.

[Anonymous No.12011945]

>>12011942
stay mad, nerd

[Anonymous No.12011971]

>>12011942
would rather learn new ways to optimize your portfolio or watch a fucking cartoon? good luck with that

[Anonymous No.12012056]

Im afraid and hopeful (in other words respectful) to the spiral like nature of life, as if you make good decisions and make an effort it leads to more opportunities and your brain starts to see new possibilities that were always there but you didn't see before, but, if you make bad decisions: You see yourself cornered more and more, with no hope on the horizon, you are going either upwards or downwards the spiral and the velocity in which you do it: only increases.
Someone depressed knows its going downwards and he/she stops the downward movement (or it slows it down), but by stoping it (or slowing it): he/she can't go upwards either, he/she gets him/herself stuck in their personal hell.

Im gonna start writing stories and Im excited about it.

[Anonymous No.12012063]

>>12012056
wow its called karma and people knew about it for thousands of years u god damn mongoloid

[Anonymous No.12012355]

Stupid question but why do a lot of people enjoy sitting around a fire? Me included. I enjoy making a small fire and smoking my pipe and reading. I'm doing it right now. Why is it maximum comfy? Is it instinctual?

[Anonymous No.12012365]

How do I stop hating myself

I just wanna put a knife in my guts.

[Anonymous No.12012387]

>>12012355
It's probably a combination of a lot of things, having a source of heat, a source of light, the crackling of the wood, the smell, the instinctual aspect as you say, having contained something quite powerful and dangerous, etc.

[Anonymous No.12012480]

lol i thought this was a fake news meme but its real lmao

https://bjj-world.com/transgender-mma-fighter-fallon-fox-breaks-skull-of-her-female-opponent/

[Anonymous No.12012488]

>>12012355
>s it instinctual?
it must be. We've had fire for what like a million years or something? We must have evolved a liking for it for all the obvious reasons

[Anonymous No.12012547]

i have one credit on audible what should i cop i cant decide recommend me a shit

[Anonymous No.12012577]

>>12007712
>I also worry that by merely existing I'm making the world a worse place.
Improve yourself and improve the world.

[Anonymous No.12012651]

>>12007732
Keep in mind that all core beliefs require faith.
Something is necessarily true about reality. I implore you to consider the alternatives to an omniscient being behind the creation of everything. You can then consider whether any belief is worth putting your faith in.

[Anonymous No.12012701]

I need to write a narrative tale with a lesson to teach its readers before I die. I can't write for shit and don't know where to start. Tips would be useful.

[Anonymous No.12012750]

>>12007676
I'm trying to decide a creative outlet. It will likely be prose, short stories, and while I'm exploring the option of filmmaking it seems like filmmaking can be a logistical nightmare compared to the comfort of writing from home. I was also considering some sort of physical artwork, like interesting graphics that can be printed on various products and sold online (I have very little graphic design experience but I'm a professional digital marketer and can sell most things online). If anyone could offer advice for picking a creative outlet with a small glimmer of hope of making it a career, I'm open to it.

I love Borges' short stories, decoding Kubrick's movies (which Borges had a bigger influence on than is commonly known), and Montaigne's essays. I'm just getting into Shakespeare now though, giving him his proper attention unlike my skimming before, and I can tell I'm gonna like him a lot.

[Anonymous No.12012757]

>>12012547
Great minds of the western intellectual tradition by the great courses. 42 hours of lectures at 2x speed for 1 credit is fucking rad.

[Anonymous No.12012768]

Well, I thought things were going alright with this girl but she's ghosted me. Fuck. Even just having a casual love interest made my days a lot better, I'm back to sitting at the window at midnight looking out at the city. Not good. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm reasonably attractive, usually manage to keep my spaghetti contained, have had girls show interest in me before, etc. It may be callous to say but I almost wish I was legitimately autistic or ugly, at least then I could blame something for not being able to build relationships. At least I'd have a reason for being like this.

[Anonymous No.12012776]

>>12007719
People are an accumulation of every experience they've ever had, every thought and word shared with them. People are foggy mirrors of whoever they love the most.

[Anonymous No.12012783]

>>12012776
Who do you love?

[Anonymous No.12012796]

>>12012783
Different anon but I love a girl I had a thing with in high school who I unironically thought I could spend the rest of my life with before I fell for the college meme and moved to the other side of the country. Hoping to meet someone like her again is the only thing keeping me from retreating to neetdom.

[Anonymous No.12012798]

>>12012768
I'm going to bed, I hope sleep will wash away some of these feels. Good night /lit/.

[Anonymous No.12012813]

>>12007676
I'm failing college biology and math but I don't really care because I don't need either of the classes. I plan on dropping out after this semester and just taking odd jobs to fund my minimalist lifestyle. The next several years of my life will be spent trying to reach Maine and losing weight. Lately I've wanted a career on the seas but I genuinely would rather have a shitty job and play Classic WoW for the rest of my life. It's going to be a life of entertainment and trying to bring any people I come across up a peg. One day I want to start running for charity with this Hero disguise. I want all the kids to believe that there are people who don't know them that care about them. I'll donate to a bunch of nice charities. And all the while slaying Alliance degenerates. I'm happy with that. I really really like that idea. I might try a career on the sea who knows. Merchant Mariner? Maybe. That's what i'm telling everyone right now. Just a direction I'm going in. But first of all I need to finish the semester and teach myself to relax with the soda/overeating. Wish me luck /lit/.

[Anonymous No.12012814]

>>12009096
Make the main character a self-hating academic with a safe teaching job who never wrote anything of merit and cynically picks apart writers (who go through all of the internal and external battles of a true artist). It doesn't have to be a writing contest judge exactly, but someone with the same exact issues. The hollowness of their beliefs can be displayed in a list of descriptions of obscure academic journal articles they've published over the last few decades, showing how their opinions change with what is fashionable to believe at the time (similar to how Borges does not write Pierre Menard's body of work, but his short story has a list of their descriptions which sort of create a fictional body of work). It can show the contradictions of academia and liberal (or any political) agenda as it changes over time. One example can be complaining how Person A was censored in a previous time when it was inconvenient for their agenda, and calling for censorship of Person B at a later time (on similar grounds as Person A). Another can be a position that the liberal agenda has done a complete 180 on in recent years. As well as listing the number of people who read each article and the impact that work made on the world or field (usually none). You can highlight this by "Professor A's most famous work is X" and it is famous because it got retweeted by an obscure blogger or low level political candidate at some point.

Your "out" can be somehow posing a question like "Do they change their opinions based on public opinion or are they part of the 'public' and are one of the contributing members of its 'opinion'?"

[Anonymous No.12013026]

>tfw fapped and i'm not good
i don't even remember being in a comfy room. And also um, my husband got retweeted by an obscure academic. I know most people don't even remember being in archaeology, but i worry about alexander's scientists. The internet is basically a bunch of kids who will eventually lose interest in christianity. It's always exhausting to be intellectual. But then uhh, like seriously i don't understand drugs. I'm just a woman that my dad will never want. Your dick is funny. My dreams are foggy, so little to write about them. He worked me to save me. Fuck gorillas. Sometimes caring is increasingly frustrating, as well. Plus halloween is still incompatible with my faith. What disturbs me? People.

[Anonymous No.12013070]

Literally what is the fucking point of a woman if you're not going to marry her and stay with her and love her with your whole heart forever and ever
Why enter a relationship you know is going to end in a matter of months or years
Had a friend just break up with his girlfriend because he graduated college, they were always planning on splitting like this. They were together for 2 years and now he has fuck all to show for it
If you're horny just go fuck some club slut or honestly just jack one out at home, sex as a physical act is not fulfilling and as an emotional act it's only setting yourself up for future suffering unless you stay with that chick so what's the point in having deep intimate sex with someone you're not going to stay with
The only reason I can think of to date casually is just to have pussy on standby, but women are usually so bitchy that it's not any more convenient than again going to a bar or party or just jacking off, and if you meet a woman who's not bitchy about it she's probably worth at least considering for the long term
My buddy is all mopey about "how much he misses her" and I can't be supportive because all I can think is "no shit, I told you so" because I told him 2 years ago it wasn't going to be worth it to date through college and then break up at the end
He's lost money time and emotion on this woman and she's lost the same on him, they both just wasted each other's time for a while and got nothing for their trouble in the end. Fuck, I've done the same in the past, although I wanted to stay with her it didn't work out and I hated her for putting me through so much suffering for no purpose and I hated myself for doing the same to her
I refuse to accept the hedonist answer that "you just do whatever makes you feel good", that's the same justification my grandpa used for his alcoholism and he's dead now, feeling is worthless for decision making, less than worthless because it clouds your judgment
I'm not really lonely, but it saddens me to think that my life might be limited to a certain shallowness of relationship just because I've been dropped into a culture that devalues monogamy and sacrificial love in favor of pleasure seeking and selfish mutual ambivalence

[Anonymous No.12013180]

I wrote yesterday that I wouldn't eat at all today to combat my stomach problems, but instead, I had a mini-pizza for lunch (about 2 slices to an average pizza) and a plate of fries with a cookie for dinner. Despite that, it's even worse tonight than it was before when I ate much more, and none of the medicine I've taken is helping at all. I've got a Physics midterm in exactly 9 hours, I haven't studied at all, and I still have yet to sleep for the exam. But looking back on it, there's nothing I particularly regret leading up to now. I've never been the kind of person to study because it doesn't feel helpful to me, and honestly I don't think I can give up my unhealthy diet because it's essentially the last thing I enjoy in life.

You can call me a child for living this way, but I mean it when I say it's almost entirely a result of mental illness. The IBS kicked in right as I lost my last remaining vestiges of emotion, and so it happened that since late 2016 I am constipated almost all of the time, with or without fiber, and yet I don't get on a healthy diet to fix it because life without sugar and junk food feels beyond empty to me now. It's nothing. How do you get up in the morning when you know you will enjoy nothing that you do? You can't. So I hold onto that.

Perhaps that is pathetic. I'm not sure. I'm still waiting to see a doctor.

[Anonymous No.12013228]

>>12012814
anon, we're both anonymous strangers on a mongolian basket weaving forum, but let me suck your dick. I'll have to leave most directly political aspects out, because that's a wasps nest I cannot poke with the people I'm dealing with here, but the rest is pretty much what I had turning and churning in my head without being able to put it in words, thanks a massive bunch for the spark that will start a firestorm.
also I'll bring in some tits in a nonsexual context because that's one of the most prominent loopholes in their rules kek

[Anonymous No.12013395]

Just finished reading for a couple of hours about the Rape of Nanjing. Stumbled upon it and i'm the morbidly curious type so felt compelled to dig into it.

I find myself doing this for a lot of morbid events but I can never fully process it. To realize that the victims are all real people, and to think if it were people i love who were the ones bayoneted, raped or buried alive it just kills me. i don't know how to cope with it. the fact that these things are real and can happen and there's nothing you can/could do about it. really puts me in a sombre mood.

[Anonymous No.12013403]

>>12012776
What if you don't love anyone?

>>12012796
>Hoping to meet someone like her again

Why don't you go back for her? Why not her?

[Anonymous No.12013537]

>burned a bug alive in the fire today
>got a boner
A-am I a sicko?

[Anonymous No.12013555]

>>12013537
That's not a good sign.

[Anonymous No.12013610]

God I fucking hate Ben Stiller. I swear if I saw him in person I'd yell fuck you so loud he would be sad all day. Stupid Sam Harris looking fuck, I'd love to punch him right in his night at the museum, 6 movies with Owen Wilson gob, and teach him a lesson or two about polluting late night childrens televison with his shoddy "acting" and one-dimensional trash. I made a subreddit and discord for other people who hate Ben Stiller if you guys want to join. We're raiding r/BenStillerStills tomorrow with pictures of Vince Vaughn beating him at dodgeball. /Dgx89uv

[Anonymous No.12013631]

How do I get my white wife into rimming my black superior?

[Anonymous No.12013664]

Imagine a world where instead of fighting the villain face to face you and your allies join together and use every bit of your power to give him an erection and only manage a semi.

[Anonymous No.12013687]

Thinkin in the shower
Thinking about events,
thinking about dreaming,
thiniking about regrets,
thinking about lyrics,
thinking about demise,
driknking only aqua,
thinkin about
thinking too much,
thinkin about killiing my thoughts.

[Anonymous No.12013701]

>>12013687
deep and emotional.

[Anonymous No.12013707]

>enrolled undergraduate math
>was all hyped up
>spent whole summer learning basics of analysis, algebra, discrete math
>even get a scholarship because rarely anyone enrolls math
>start coming to classes
>realize I can't do this for the next 5 yrs
>can't drop out because I need to 'repay' the scholarship by passing the first year else I go into debt
>program I want to enroll (astronomy) is in another town and country
>even if they accept most of my exams and let me enroll the second year in astronomy (the first years of both programs are 85% the same) I'd need to pay full tuition (~€3000)
>realize I'd have to work so I could get to ~2000€ with savings
>realize I'd still have to beg parents for money

[Anonymous No.12013726]

>>12013687
10/10 swan song, good riddance

[Anonymous No.12013734]

>>12013707
>doesn’t want to do physics
i assume telescopes and star charts more fun for you sperg?

[Anonymous No.12013744]

>>12007676
thinking about giant prehistoric birds hunting and eating our ancestors, getting mad

[Anonymous No.12013831]

>>12013734
yes now eat shit

[Anonymous No.12013947]

>>12007676
Through introspection I have formed an ethical and metaphysical belief-system based on my core values and beliefs. Since I have a philosophy on the whys and hows of my life, you would think I wouldn't be sad either. However the pain isn't going away. It's only mild, but no matter what I do it stays in the back of my head and I can only distract myself from it by busying myself in something else. I wish I had the ability to turn my emotions on and off at the flick of a switch; is there a way to control what emotions you experience, or at least a way to be apathetic? I'm sad and I can't even articulate why.

[Anonymous No.12013964]

cont.
>>12013947
I have vast, vast ambitions which are impossible if I can't even conquer myself.

[Anonymous No.12013981]

>>12008017
Same desu
Have an MA in linguistics yet I spend my days playing ps4

[Anonymous No.12014003]

happy halloween :3

[Anonymous No.12014052]

>>12013403
I tried but it didn't work out. Also she still lives on the other side of the country. Maybe years from now it will happen again organically, but for the moment it seems hopeless.

>>12013981
That sounds pretty cool anon, you studied something neat and now just go on to live your life. What else did you expect if you weren't going to go into academia?

[Anonymous No.12014060]

>>12014052
Happy halloween anon!
Who else ready for a /comfy/ day?

[Anonymous No.12014061]

>>12013701
>>12013726
still here, searching my soul

[Anonymous No.12014076]

how do you decide what your next read is going to be

also happy halloween frens >>12014003 >>12014060
its supposed to rain tonight so itll make good atmosphere for a horror movie, gonna be /comfy/ indeed

[Anonymous No.12014080]

>>12014052
>What else did you expect if you weren't going to go into academia?
some kind of job

[Anonymous No.12014088]

wow my proletarian roommates didnt keep me up all night with fortnite sessions all night i actually went to bed at 2am and now woke up feeling refreshed at 9am, solid 7 hours sleep session, if i could live like this every day i might actually be able to do something productive wow, also being fully rested really puts me in a straight mood, when im exhausted all the time im always having gay thoughts

[Anonymous No.12014106]

>>12014080
With a linguistics degree? No offense anon but what kind of job did you think you would be having?

[Anonymous No.12014128]

>>12014106
pls delete this post fren

[Anonymous No.12014134]

>>12014106
i knew a chick with a linguistics degree who was a vp at some billion dollar startup, it was probably from elite school tho, idk, i didnt ax

[Anonymous No.12014136]

yo the "Early Music: Medieval to Renaissance" playlist on apple music goes hard af

[Anonymous No.12014197]

>>12013707
Don't take it to hard, anon. The first semester is by far the hardest, trust me.

[Anonymous No.12014215]

damn one of my stocks is up like 25% over the last week, too bad i was a pussy and only put like a 3rd of my cash into it, like they always say: scared money don't make none

[Anonymous No.12014216]

>>12009413
It wasn't much of a difference desu

[Anonymous No.12014219]

>>12013707
woah, imagine if there were some institution that would let you rent their money to do things like finance educations and housing purchases...take out a loan u damn crybaby

[Anonymous No.12014225]

>>12009231
>he doesnt know how the internet works

are you retarded, TCP/IP is a 300 level CS elective at basically every school, i even took it as elective for my humanities degree because i already knew it when i was a teen...people on 4chan are generally pretty low iq, but everybody on irc knows how the internet works dont be retarded

[Anonymous No.12014233]

>>12013707
Hey anon, I did philosophy at undergraduate. Had an easy time. Least stressful time of my life. Now the maths fags who stayed in the library all day are laughing and rolling in money.

Keep at it anon.

[Anonymous No.12014271]

>>12014219
This wouldn't be a bad idea if anon wanted to study something he would be making money with afterwards

[Anonymous No.12014284]

I think I must have borderline personality disorder because I have consciously constructed personas and no real self and i switch them out depending on who i am around. i spend most of my life trying to fit in with different groups based mostly on shallow things like appearances and performative attitude not because i am vain but because if i can trick others into thinking i am something that is say i am then i can just be that thing

is this what sartre called the being-for-itself striving through bad faith become the being-in-itself? or do i have BPD? or am i a sociopath? there are things i feel authentically but they are few and mostly inconsequential.

[Anonymous No.12014292]

>>12014271
it's still better to have a degree in some faggy shit like astronomy than no degree, i have a history degree and it sure as hell bumped my standard of living even tho im still poor af i was talking to some lady the other day who is literally changing adult diapers in a senior home for the same income as me, im like i may be poor but at least i dont have to lift up bloated boomers and wipe their assholes

[Anonymous No.12014293]

I need to stop being such an idiot and quit smoking. At the rate I rip them down I calculate I could be at risk of developing COPD within the next 10 years, if not sooner (these things are difficult to predict).

I wish I didn't enjoy the sensation of smoking and that it didn't fit into my lifestyle so logically and wholesomely, sort of like a good nip of the right booze. It helps me process unhealthy stress unhealthily, and smoke breaks coordinates my writing and work regimens like a metronome.

I know it's bad, but sometimes bad things can help fuel good things. I know there are worse things to be addicted to by far. But when the end is my health are the means ever justified? I don't want to go out like a sucker and die like a bitch from something as basic as smoking related illness.

[Anonymous No.12014302]

>>12014271
>>12014292
I was planning on undergraduate astronomy and masters in mathematics, seems feasable

[Anonymous No.12014309]

>>12014302
How are you going to get a masters in mathematics if you don't even want to do the undergraduate curriculum?

[Anonymous No.12014314]

>>12014302
if u couldn't hack a math undergrad what makes u think u can go into a math masters without doing the undergrad work, also i hate to break it to u but doing a math degree isnt a license to print money if u dont know how to write code, i know someone with a stem phd who can't get a real job because she is terrible at coding

[Anonymous No.12014328]

>>12014309
>>12014314
I don't know. It'll work out.

[Anonymous No.12014333]

>>12014314
>because she
there's the problem

[Anonymous No.12014337]

>>12014328
Come on anon, this is lunacy. It's ok to do your astronomy or whatever the fuck you want to but you need to have an actual plan for what you're going to do in the (very likely) case you're not able to turn it into a career.

[Anonymous No.12014361]

>>12014337
Jesus Christ I just got over the anxiety and realization of my fuck-up please don't get to me I can't think about this anymore.
I have a year to complete my first year studies of math. If I git good, it's math also (but still going to move — this place here is poison) but in the other case, astronomy and MS in math
I know I can do it. It's doable. I'm not gonna give up.
The second I return to uni, I'll find a job, and I've already begun working to learn.

I'm not crazy. I'll make it

[Anonymous No.12014380]

>>12014333
she got hired at a hedge fund but then got fired three months later when it turned out she couldnt do any work, idk how she got passed the interview most places torture u to death with stupid coding puzzles

[Anonymous No.12014432]

Failed normie here, give me one good reason I shouldn't move back in with my parents and spend the rest of my (probably short, due to health problems) life creating beautiful imaginary worlds and ordering my own little world as I like it.

[Anonymous No.12014442]

>>12014432
Because that won't get you laid

[Anonymous No.12014446]

>>12014432
because 20 years later u will have a moment of clarity where u realize u wasted ur life and then jump off a bridge

[Anonymous No.12014478]

>>12014442
sometimes I feel like this but then I jack off and go back to not caring

>>12014446
maybe, but will my life be any less wasted by going into a career and spending all my time trying to claw my way into society only to fail and spend my evenings shitposting on what's left of /lit/?

[Anonymous No.12014620]

>>12008249
Just travel man. Roam. If you don't have anything to live for just gather some supplies and head out into the woods. Or some new town. See what you find. Who knows what you will. You may find death, or a whole new take on life, maybe you'll discover something.

[Anonymous No.12014633]

>>12009125
You think you're funny? Ride a bike off a cliff.

[Anonymous No.12014639]

>>12011465
Intelligence is overrated. Just do what you want. Might as well.

[Anonymous No.12014641]

Religion isn't real but it's psychologically unhealthy to be an atheist. The human brain is wired to believe in greater powers.

[Anonymous No.12014648]

>>12011920
don't let that faggot talk to you like that. Watch whatever you want bro.

[Anonymous No.12014650]

>>12012365
You gotta find a reason to hold on man.

[Anonymous No.12014658]

>yfw u go to xvideos to have a fap and everything on the front page is halloween themed bullshit with ppl fucking in masks n shit

[Anonymous No.12014659]

>>12014225
>took an elective in college and is an expert of the topic
lmao, talk about Dunning–Kruger effect. There's so much more to WWW and modern service provider infrastructure than "how a message is passed". I bet you think you know all about microchips too because you turned some lightbulbs on with a toy PCB, lol.

[Anonymous No.12014663]

yo this ubuntu color scheme is 100 percent better than that faggy blue shit

[Anonymous No.12014669]

>>12012783
Not a different anon. I love my Parents and my Brother. I love a few of my friends. I love a few of my cousins and aunts and uncles. I love The Horde. That's pretty much about it.

>>12013403
>What if you don't love anyone.
Are you really a person then?

[Anonymous No.12014674]

>>12014659
>he thinks the internet is "like magic"

nah ur just low iq, like i said i already knew the shit and took it as an elective for an easy 'a' even tho im a humanities major lol nice cope tho brainlet

[Anonymous No.12014676]

>>12014293
I feel kind of like this, I've started smoking regularly these past few weeks because it helps me immeasurably, I can't see myself not smoking in my current lifestyle.

I'll break out of it though, I'm fairly sure. Otherwise it doesn't matter, if I'm bound to this lifestyle the alternative is far worse

[Anonymous No.12014675]

>>12013610
That's the funniest shit I've read all day.

[Anonymous No.12014682]

my penis hurts. i think it hurts because i normally masturbate for too long, like 3-4 hours browsing JAV (eng subbed only) until i find one and decide to cum. fuck i've been feeling this little pain at the base of the penis y'know, for the whole year, it started when i browsed JAV for 5 hours. i should stop masturbating but i cant it's just too good. who would think varg, the 90iq snow nigger was actually right about something in his life. i'll try to abstain for 3 months, i hope the pain goes away, i don't have money to go to a urologist.
also fuck japs (i wish)

[Anonymous No.12014684]

>>12013734
>the future
>for spergs
you must be bland

[Anonymous No.12014699]

my clit hurts. i think it hurts because i normally masturbate for too long, like 3-4 hours browsing erotic vampire literature until i find one and decide to cum. fuck i've been feeling this little pain inside my lower stomach y'know, for the whole year, it started when i browsed erotic stories for 5 hours. i should stop masturbating but i cant it's just too good. who would think my mom, the 90iq snow nigger was actually right about something in her life. i'll try to abstain for 3 months, i hope the pain goes away, i don't have money to go to a gynecologist.
also fuck vampires (i wish)

[Anonymous No.12014701]

>>12014293
Try smoking home made cigarettes. Idk if they will taste better but you'll certainly live longer.

[Anonymous No.12014709]

>>12014659
ten bucks says this is a chick who tried to add some javascript to her shitty blog, tried python, and got memed into ordering some faggy "maker" shit, but has no clue about unix, c, tcp/ip, or bgp...dont worry men will keep the internet running, just stick to showing ur tits on instagram baby

[Anonymous No.12014712]

>>12014674
Saying this as an anon who doesn't know you - you should probably do some self reflecting about when it's appropriate to speak from authority. It's easy to sound informed, but there's a world of difference between "basically knowing how it works" and actually knowing how something works. For example, the fact that you summed up the internet as "TCP/IP" immediately telegraphs to me that you only have a very basic understanding of a small portion of the world's interconnected technology infrastructure.
I'm sure the people around you would be happier if you stopped pretending reading the wikipedia article about a topic and memorizing a handful of terms means you know can speak authoritatively about it. And people don't like being talked down to - every time you speak from authority on a topic you're poorly informed about, there are two outcomes: people either know you're full of shit or they learn you think an accumulation of knowledge is an appropriate substitute for a personality.
>>12014709
lmao, at least this guy knows more buzz words even if they're not related

[Anonymous No.12014713]

>>12014361
We're all going to "make it" anon thats not the problem. The problem is you're lying to yourself. I straight dropped out of math this semester because it's not what I wanted. Honestly idk what I want. Currently the plan is to move northwest and begin trying out jobs on the sea. Merchant Mariner, Tugboat Deckhand idk. I'm ok with being a wagecuck. I don't have the patience to really apply myself to higher learning. I love history classes, but that's not what makes dough. Honestly if I have my vidya games and books for a little less time then I work then I'm fine with that life. I don't want or need more money than I need to live and maybe an occasional trip.

I guess I'm saying you don't need to A. Choose what you want right away as there is NO way of knowing, B. be "successful" or make a ton of money, C. anything at all really. Just do what you want and either way you'll end up "making it" in a minimalist sense of the word. You'll live.

[Anonymous No.12014719]

>>12014712
ok baby now show us your tits

[Anonymous No.12014722]

>>12014659
Why do the brightest geniuses always so little skill with language?

[Anonymous No.12014723]

>>12014713
>I straight dropped out of math this semester because it's not what I wanted.

oh come on we're all anonymous here save the copes for your parents, we all know it was too hard for you, you got good grades at your second rate high school and due to being some kind of minority got a scholarship to a school well above your ability and now you have to drop, this is the true cruelty of affirmative action, instead of letting competent minorities succeed at a level that suits them, sjws wanna catapult them up into the upper echelons of academia were they inevitably struggle, sad

[Anonymous No.12014740]

>>12014722
brainlet cope, the brightest geniuses always have excellent language skill

[Anonymous No.12014742]

>>12014699
>>12014682
mild zozzle

[Anonymous No.12014743]

So I found out my city has a local bookclub and the meeting is tomorrow.
I decided to go but how do I not make a fool of myself?

The meeting is genre fiction so I'll have to bite my tongue on calling them plebs.

[Anonymous No.12014750]

>>12014743
some bookstore near me has a bunch of faggy book clubs i thought about joining the romantic fiction one just to try to fuck some of the horny thots but lets be real theyre all going to be sjw with purple hair and fupas who hate men by day but read fantasies of being raped by a saudi prince by night

[Anonymous No.12014763]

>>12014723
Not that anon but yeah the math is hard but nothing undoable. It's just that it isn't for me. I could be spending 8+ hours a day learning math (mild enjoyment) in a city and people which make me miserable or enroll something else which gives me high enjoyment (astronomy and a better city for every other thing, from my /lit/ intrest, to the people I know and enjoy there)

I won't say >projecting but not everxone is trying to cope failing math.

[Anonymous No.12014796]

>>12014763
idk it just seems kinda copey because how did u not know if math is "not for me" or not, i mean what did u expect, its fuckin math

[Anonymous No.12014832]

>>12014796
There is a difference when you learn math by yourself, when you're still a pseudo-NEET and have all the time to learn concepts vs. fast pace in a college class where you really just push through even if you don't get much

[Anonymous No.12014858]

>>12007676
>tfw at work right now and an hour ago some hot, tanned and skinny 55+ year old milf with dyed hair was flirting with me super hard and hinting about how she was a flight attendant just in town for a day or two but she had a pearl ring on her ring finger
>mfw she was getting super close to me while asking mundane questions and when I casually walked away while answering them I could see in her eyes the exact moment when she realized I wasn't going to try to fuck her

Not the first time a married milf/gilf has flirted hard with me. I could have asked her out for a glass of wine and smashed her pussy this evening but the ring.... Maybe one day I will fuck a married milf but right now I just can't cross that line.

[Anonymous No.12014872]

>>12014858
bro same thing happened to me almost last year, this indian milf (who still had long beautiful pitch black hair) was always flirting with me telling me a looked like a movie star and shit, i knew she worked in sales so i figured she was just using her salesy tricks to try to get better service or something, but then one day she started asking if somebody could come back to her apartment and fix her computer or something (we are not even slightly related to i.t. or pc repair shit so this was weird) i was like "uhh umm idk i dont really use windows uhh" and she got all mad like "i dont want somebody who's going to waste my time!" i was like damn that was my one chance to smash a fine indian milf fuckin autism strikes again

[Anonymous No.12014876]

>>12014832
ok i feel u, i like learning about math, but the pass this exam or die high stakes pressure of undergrad math made me steer clear, but dont feel bad have a math bachelors isnt worth much, most of them just end up teaching high school which is a fate worse than being neet

[Anonymous No.12014894]

I'm too caught up in the world to be where I want to be in my literary and intellectual journey. Even though I'm a single young professional, I hAve too many fiscal and societal responsibilities to journey and discover what I want to. I'm too weak to make the risky gamble of pursuing my literary passion because it's easier to be a corporate drone now that I'm on the inside. Part of that is I don't believe myself smart enough to do it, too. So what now?

[Blasco No.12014904]

There are spirits around me, I do not know if they are real or products of my imagination, but they look suspiciously like movie characters or Japanese animation characters that I saw when I was a child on TV and recently online. I'm not afraid of going crazy. Yesterday a spirit sucked my dick. In the bathtub, with the foam and hot water I am happy watching screens that evade me from the real world, although those images and those stories seem to me more and more real.

[Anonymous No.12014920]

>>12014894
>doesn't even read at all.

Come on you are making excuses.

[Anonymous No.12014927]

>>12014920
I do read, probably a book a week on average, but its inconsistent.

[Anonymous No.12014935]

>>12014927
So why aren't you where you want to be in your "intellectual journey"?

[Anonymous No.12014957]

>>12014935
I feel as though I'm never going to make it at my current pace - like I'm a stunted child. Reading and writing are what I find meaningful, therefore I feel like I should make that my primary purpose and find a career that will allow me to do that and grow. But I'm not sure if this is a grass-is-greener lie I am telling myself. I'm painfully aware of that possibility and can't believe in my own convictions.

[Anonymous No.12015017]

>>12014957
>make it
Where?

Why can't it just remain a hobby? Why make it your career? Are you just bored of what you are doing?

[Anonymous No.12015093]

so at this point analytical philosophy basically hasnt passed peer review and should be mocked, right?

[Anonymous No.12015187]

>>12015093
How analytic are we talking? Logical positivism should be mocked yes.

[Anonymous No.12015272]

Climate change is going to kill us all and each second capitalism is still around is another second denied to the future.

[Anonymous No.12015383]

>>12015272
It's hopeless, the revolution won't come in time to stop runaway climate change (if it ever comes at all, fucking marxists and their lies), all that's left are harebrained geoengineering attempts that will probably fuck things up even more. Gen X will be the last to live to old age with a somewhat-alive planet. The post-zoomer generation is beyond fucked.
t. guy with climatologist parents

[Anonymous No.12015391]

>>12015383
climate science is a massive fraud for siphoning tax dollars into imaginary jobs

[Anonymous No.12015410]

>>12015391
Every time people say this I have two things to say in response:
I haven't seen any of the sorosbucks.
I sincerely, desperately hope that you're right.

[Anonymous No.12015412]

>>12015410
I dont actually believe that, I just like saying it.

Honestly I have no idea if climate science is real or bullshit because they don't seem to make any predictions that can then be falsified. So it doesnt really seem like science at all

[Anonymous No.12015469]

>>12015412
It's mostly modeling and data gathering, so maybe not science in the strict Karl Popper sense. There are somewhat more-falsifiable predictions made but they're always overshadowed by hooting morons like Al Gore claiming that the sea levels are going to rise three feet in 10 years (no.)

I've always felt that the basic premises are pretty undeniable though, global mean temperate HAS been rising, certain gasses DO trap heat, the permafrost IS melting, etc.

[Anonymous No.12015479]

>>12015391
That's a complex and rather stupid end which undermines your credibility.
Climate Change is a fraud because the science is faulty. There isn't a conspiracy at this point, it's just idiots regurgitating information that they cannot critically think about (like how so called proxies are inherently unreliable; what a joke to think that tree ring count and soil samples can even estimate the temperature even with a 10+ degree margin of error). Those studying it have a self-interest to perpetuate their pseudoscience, because people are willing to put money in. Reliable instrumentation the world over is a fairly recent phenomenon which severely limits the sample period. I'm called "anti-science" when I discuss this online, yet I'm an MD PhD. Only undergrad "muh STEM BS degree makes me a scientist!" feel the need to belittle people who disagree. I've dealt with these "March For Science" types. They are total retards. I never tell them my background. They're like animals. They're mentally tormented when their reality is deconstructed and cannot entertain an idea that's contrary to what they've been spoonfed. The only conclusion they can arrive at is that I'm a shill for big oil or that I'm an 'anti-science' or a climate change denialist.

[Anonymous No.12015521]

>>12015479
>MD PhD
Different guy but is this supposed to make me respect you? Most doctors are brainlets who got where they are by rote-memorization and adderall, why should I trust your opinion on science, especially a science completely unrelated to what you've studied?

[Anonymous No.12015534]

>>12015479

>not involved in climatology
>"here is my authoritative take on climate change"
Nice appeal to an authority that you don't even have. Paging doctor retard MD. Shut up, twat. You're not a shill for what's helping to destroy the planet but you are a mong.

[Anonymous No.12015563]

>>12007676
I don't get it. Love is certainly one of the feelings that drive man as disciple of Bacchus, but one of many yet here are we with this notion of immotion, sole love and nought but it, and for what and from whence? Perhaps it is a tunnel, a black velvet eyepatch, a sedative to numb the painful light that holds aloft the day. Ughhh I feel like Morrison screaming fuck, and nobody thinks anymore. Look at these "thoughts" here that are absolutely undeveloped, I don't get it.

[Anonymous No.12015594]

>>12014284
I can relate and this has been on my own mind since I was young enough to conceive the thought. I would like an answer to this. Where did Sartre say that? Seems interesting.

[Anonymous No.12015667]

Why do people hate Holden again? He seems like the archetypical /lit/ poster, neurotic, depressed, lonely, feels like an outcast, hates the normies, sensitive, moderately intelligent, good with words, retarded around women, etc. I relate heavily to Catcher in the Rye, yeah Holden's a dumb pathetic shithead but am I not ?

Also I'd appreciate any recs that will help me out of the Holden mindset. I feel like I probably shouldn't still be like this at age 20.

[Anonymous No.12015683]

oh fuck i fapped again. fapped to (JAV) feet this time as well. penis was hurting the whole time but i had no mercy. i'm going to broke my dick ain't i?

[Anonymous No.12015754]

oh fuck i schlicked again. schlicked to (edward cullen's) feet this time as well. clit was hurting the whole time but i had no mercy. i'm going to broke my clit ain't i?

[Anonymous No.12015872]

>>12015667
>Why do people hate Holden again? He seems like the archetypical /lit/ poster

They hate themselves.

[Anonymous No.12015895]

>>12015391
>>12015479

What bollocks. Weather prediction has improved drastically over decades, by a significant multiple. Climate science is just the statistical extrapolation of weather trends taken in the aggregate. The climate is definitely changing. We have time lapse video recordings of glacial shelfs collapsing and melting.

It is a geological fact that the climate goes through periodic shifts. The last ice age ended about 11,000 years ago.

What exactly is going on is an open question, but the climate is definitely changing. People in Polynesian islands are talking about how their island is slipping into the ocean. Venice, Italy just received historic flooding. Hurricane season has been more intense than usual.

[Anonymous No.12016129]

>>12015594
it's a pretty basic concept in being and nothingness (and maybe nausea?) it would go something like the man too weak to take responsibility for his own freedom will end up trying to let others and let being define him and drive his action instead.
it's the only referent i could think of because i'm a pseud. i'm sure a psychologist would have something more relevant to say.

[Anonymous No.12016209]

>>12009404
Ill be your friend. Whats your email.

[Anonymous No.12016295]

I'm a new english student and I hate writing academic papers. I'm not meant to study english

[Anonymous No.12016356]

>>12015895
>What bollocks.
Emotional reaction.
>Weather prediction has improved drastically over decades, by a significant multiple
I was not talking about prediction, and it doesn't matter if it has improved over decades if it is built upon faulty data with an extremely limited window of years.
Beyond tree ring samples and soil samples (which only go back so long), there is almost nothing reliable to indicate what the exact temperature was. Tree ring samples and soil samples an unreliable proxies subject to other weather variables such as rainfall amounts, yearly sunshine hours, and for tree rings specifically, insect and mycological infestations. The only argument I have heard from actual climate scientists is the sample is increased to moderate these influences, but it doesn't change the fact that it's a piss-poor indicator of temperatures to begin with.
>We have time lapse video recordings of glacial shelfs collapsing and melting.
And I have a video of an actual tornado! This is a a straw man that indicates absolutely nothing long term.
>It is a geological fact that the climate goes through periodic shifts. The last ice age ended about 11,000 years ago.
Trying to sound intelligent I see? Of course it's a "geological fact" that the climate goes through periodic shifts. This is evidence of widespread change, not precise temperatures used for data to derive models for predicting the future, let alone indicating the change until now. No one is making the argument that the climate is immutable.
>What exactly is going on is an open question, but the climate is definitely changing.
The case for man made climate change is built upon on very dubious data.
>People in Polynesian islands are talking about how their island is slipping into the ocean. Venice, Italy just received historic flooding. Hurricane season has been more intense than usual.
n=1 weather events or seasons (short-term climate) which are altogether useless. This is no different than retards who point to a warm day in the midst of winter and say "ain't no global warming here!".
>>12015521
>>12015534
Hmmm, It's almost like the entirety of my post was about dealing with low IQ imbeciles who self-appropriate the label "scientist" on account of their STEM undergrad degree, and their innate tendency to slander any argument against man-made climate change (or any other March for Science tier topic) as anti-science. It really activates the almonds too, how, for most to arrive at that conclusion would have no understanding of my background! Too bad I didn't say "I never tell them my background." ....W-wait! oh yeah... It was, and I did.

[Anonymous No.12016420]

how do i stop procrastinating

[Anonymous No.12016422]

I had falling in love with art hoe bookstagram. How do I cure this /lit/? Should I approach her or should I just buried myself?

[Anonymous No.12016441]

>>12016422
Ask her out, you have literally nothing to lose

[Anonymous No.12016442]

>>12016420
yo that is a good ass question my dude

[Anonymous No.12016446]

>>12016441
it's instagram dude do u know how many thirsty simps she gets spammed by daily? then again op seems to be a thirsty ass simp so why not be desperate dude number 5493 that she and chad laugh at

[Anonymous No.12016448]

>>12016295
sucks to be you lmao
i love writing academic papers

[Anonymous No.12016453]

>>12016446
Oh is that what he meant? I don't speak zoomer.
Anyway he can still try if he wants, he still has nothing to lose.

[Anonymous No.12016458]

>>12016448
how do you do it.

[Anonymous No.12016461]

>>12016441
She loves Virginia Woolf and I already planned to read To The Lighthouse after finished C&P, I'll message her up after read a few chapters of it.

[Anonymous No.12016474]

>>12016461
i was going to read some virginia woolf to have something to talk about with some chick i knew who was into her but she killed herself before my order got here fucking media mail slow as shit

[Anonymous No.12016491]

wow i just saw the craziest sissy hypno on pornhub where the plot is sissy nationalism where there is a revolutionary war to establish a sissy slut state where sissies are property, rape is legal, and condoms are illegal lmao is sissy hypno the greatest emerging artform of the 21st century, in 200 years will the met open a hypno wing when some billionaire sissy donates a fortune

[Anonymous No.12016524]

The old man i have been small talking to at the gym turned out to be a Jehovas witness. He started talking to me about how the world is going to end and how the bible is above all. Honestly it made me think.

Anyway he asked me some questions and wanted me to answer them next time i see him at the gym, the questions where: Was Adam alive? Is he alive? Why doesn't he show himself?

[Anonymous No.12016530]

>>12016524
jehovas witnesses are a real estate investment trust disguised as a religion for tax purposes, don't be a brainlet

[Anonymous No.12016565]

>>12016458
i get strong feelings from the things i read and i love investigating those feelings and communicating them to others i like the mathematical quality to structuring a large and sprawling argument so that each element flows into and supports the next and i like fitting flowery little lines of academic poetry into the mix

it's just fun

[Anonymous No.12016574]

its so hard to care about shit. idk what purpose or meaning im trying to seek in life and more and more often i feel like it doesnt matter. over the past few years ive grown aimless and apathetic, and the only thing keeping me going at this point is pure inertia and a kind of stubborn refusal to completely drop out of life, even though im starting to find the idea appealing. its all just so fucking blank, you know? like i pass by people on the street having fun, doing shit, generally making the most of their life, and whereas in the past i would've felt envy or something now nothing registers at all. i dont know what to do about this or how to get out of it, i just wish i could give a shit about something ever then fulfilling whatever obligation needs to be dealt with at the moment.

[Anonymous No.12016597]

>>12016565
That explains why i'm hating it, i'm supposed to do practice with a paper about a fucking musical play about hamilton. inb4 underaged, I switched late to English

[Anonymous No.12016601]

>>12007676
For about a month I was doing a great job of sticking to one project. Then I got off task and started working on another, but the ideas for the second project where flowing well, so I humored myself for a week thinking it would run its course. At the beginning of this week I returned to my first project only to hit a wall after a page and a half, so I returned to my second project and hit a wall after half a page.

I think it's because I've been having a really exhausting week at work. I've been required to stay late for parent teacher conferences and I have to get up early on Saturday for a fund raiser. To make matters worse I've been waking up 30 minutes to an hour before my alarm goes off and I can't do more than doze until it's time to get up.

[Anonymous No.12016613]

>>12016601
i feel u bro i was blazing along working on a new app, and then i got a cold, and didnt write any code for a week, now i cant get back into it, fucking sucks, i forced myself to work on it like an hour or two a night this week, but that is not going to cut it when big capital techbros in the valley probably have teams of autists working around the clock on similar shit, fml why couldnt i have just been an accountant or a male nurse or something, sure its kinda boring but its easy af, if i had money i'd totes do an accounting degree or an mba

[Anonymous No.12016630]

Life has been total hell for 3 or 4 weeks now and it'll probably continue to be so for some time

Funny thing is I kind of feel better about this in some perverted way.
I don't know who I was supposed to be before everything went to shit, at least now I have some purpose, if only in the form of meaningless suffering

[Anonymous No.12016654]

I'm trying to write some halloween short fiction, probably only a thousand words or so. Does that even count as a story?

[Anonymous No.12016666]

>>12016654
ANything can be a story with the power of friendship

[Anonymous No.12016670]

does /lit/ have a team on teamsucky?

[Anonymous No.12016681]

>>12016530
yeah, i know. Its just really bizarre seeing one in my country, he was an American as well

[Anonymous No.12016718]

Mental illness is a lonely condition.

The more I think, the more my thinking sunders from that of those around me. Thinking should reveal answers, but for me it has only uncovered more doubts. I'm doubting everything: my self concept, my core values and notions of virtue, and my hope of being fulfilled is steadily dying.

I'm passing into madness, and I'm scared of what lies ahead.

[Anonymous No.12016719]

>>12016597
I hate writing papers but it's easy.

[Anonymous No.12016738]

>>12016718
>Thinking should reveal answers
No, that's your faulty assumption. Focused thinking can potentially lead to conclusions, but the majority of thinking is just your brain turning itself in circles to occupy itself, and can obscure things that are understood instinctually rather than shedding light on truths.

[Anonymous No.12016785]

I participate in and encourage turbo-SJW rhetoric and activity for the purpose of hastening the downfall of America and eventually establishing a Christian monarchy in rural Montana.
The other day I told a guy to his face that his father dying wasn't really a tragedy because as a white man he had lived a life defined by undeserved privilege and unconscious oppression of the lower classes, and every day he lived was actually the perpetuation of injustice. He got so mad I thought he might punch me and undo all my hard work, but he bottled it up instead. Everywhere I go I sow division and strife. My prog friends think I'm a good person for shitting on white men all day, but they don't realize I'm poisoning them as well. Made a female friend dump her boyfriend because he was white and I convinced her he had an oriental fetish and was whitewashing her cultural heritage. He reacted poorly, they fought long and hard and it fractured their whole friend group. She's now lonely and bitter, and has started fucking random guys without a condom. I haven't seen him for a couple years so I can't say how he's doing, but hopefully he's also building resentment.
I can only directly impact a small handful of people, but if I do my part then the effect will ripple outward and American society will collapse all the sooner.

[Anonymous No.12016810]

>>12016597
then unironically write why you don't like the play. it's the only way to make academics fun to be honest and put your own spin on things. i'm not telling you to be a smart ass or dismissive, but as long as the topic is not fixed ended find what you passionately want to say and say it the best you can.

[Anonymous No.12016814]

i achieved the dream career i wanted as a kid but im not happy. so now im trying to achieve the dream career i wanted as a young adult. it won't make me happy.

[Anonymous No.12016815]

>>12016785
lmao@this delusion
>i'm not a mentally unwell psycho I'm A CRUSADER MOM

[Anonymous No.12016836]

>>12016601
>To make matters worse I've been waking up 30 minutes to an hour before my alarm goes off and I can't do more than doze until it's time to get up.
this is the comfiest feel in the world. why is dozing so comfy and inherently sexual? i have literally given myself an erection rn thinking about dozing in the morning before work

[Anonymous No.12016928]

If I could go back and make up for all the hell I put you through, I would do it a thousand times over. If I hadn't been so desperate for your attention, and if I had been more aloof and independent, maybe we would still be close. I wish I could be smart enough to stop thinking about you, but it has been almost ten years. And the occasional, almost rare messages I get from you haunt me like a scare chord now because I cannot be with you, nor can I escape you. I have ideas of love involving you, and I wish I didn't.

[Anonymous No.12016938]

Literature turned me into a massive faggot. I feel melancholic reading poetry, reading novels, I've literally cried with things I see on the street.

[Anonymous No.12016955]

>>12016654
And I'm done. Only ended being 500 words. Very short but I think pretty ok for what it's supposed to be. I'm pleased, if nothing else.

[Anonymous No.12016958]

niggas on the moon

[Anonymous No.12016962]

>>12016938
good

[Anonymous No.12016964]

It’s impossible to be a writer if have a girlfriend.

[Anonymous No.12016971]

>>12014361
are u the guy from the /sci/ thread lmao

[Anonymous No.12016974]

>>12016938
It's already anon, being /sensitive/ has its perks. Like you can actually appreciate art, think about how lucky you are to not be one of those people who just "doesn't understand" poetry.

[Anonymous No.12016978]

>>12016971
That anon should come hang out in /mg/ we all hate math too

[Anonymous No.12017003]

>>12014284

Anon, I specifically thought about your post and came back to it later so I could vocalise my own similar problems. I think we may have sort of the same thing. I try to emulate fictional and nonficyltional characters. Base my identity, actions, and characteristics around them. Doesn't matter who if I find them interesting. I will try to think how they would think and act how they would act. It is disgustingly mercurial to me in my moments of lucidity. I look back on it now and go, "why can I not be who I am?" I have no idea who I am now. I have no idea where to even begin with my own identity. I am a 28 year old male and I have been doing this for as long as I remember. This goes beyond the playing pretend of childhood.

Do you guys know that anon greentext of Drive from Drive and how he copied him? I don't know if that was in jest or not, but it's what I do. With different things. It leads to clashes or drastic changes in "my" personality. I have no idea if I have a mental illness or if I even present this way to others. Maybe I don't. There is no static character. There is no me. There is only simulacra or amalgamation. I can't talk to a psychiatrist about this either because I cannot afford one. I am lucid right now and introspective about it but that never lasts.

Christ.

[Anonymous No.12017069]

>>12016938
That's cute. I wanna dry your tears.

[Anonymous No.12017090]

>>12007712
you sound like a fucking faggot. go die

[Anonymous No.12017092]

>>12017090
good post.

[Anonymous No.12017118]

>>12014284
Every person is fake. The truth is the most divisive thing in the world. No man is more hated than he who speaks the truth. Try being "based" and outpouring what you really think about things in real life and watch what happens.

[Anonymous No.12017202]

Thinking about dwarves, they're really comfy

>As Conrad crossed the threshold into the inn a particularly stout dwarf let out a bellow and fell backwards out of a chair and, after knocking into our hero's knee, landed on the floor like a cannonball. Had Conrad not dropped the jug he was holding from the sheer force of the dense projectile-dwarf he might have wondered how such a compact creature could even manage to lean-topple a chair with legs scarcely longer than a wild boar's. A quick glance at the color of the dwarf's face would have been answer enough; no distance is too great for a dwarf with enough mead in him, and that goes double when the feat means a commotion in a crowded inn. But as is the case with dwarves, an excitement sparked is not one easily put out, and the table from which the chair and dwarf belonged erupted in laughter so uproarious and explosive that Conrad staggered backward a second time as if pushed with great force. Conrad looked to the epicenter and there sat five more dwarves, each at least as red as the one now floundering back to his feet.

[Anonymous No.12017208]

>>12016785
Kek, is this pasta?

[Anonymous No.12017212]

Every time I begin reading, I get the urge to write. Every time I begin writing, I get depressed and realize I'm just a stupid faggot who writes genre fiction and has nothing "in depth" to say about anything. Maybe I should just fucking quit. I can't even follow my grasp on basic English rules without feeling like every word, paragraph and attempt at punctuation just exemplifies my stupidity. Do I feel comfortable putting a comma here? Do I feel comfortable ending a paragraph here? I used to be fine when I was writing a few years ago, now I'm constantly stressing and feeling like everything I do is just fucking wrong.

[Anonymous No.12017240]

>>12017212
Nobody actually has anything in depth to say about anything.

[Anonymous No.12017314]

>>12016938
I've begun crying while listening Soviet cosmonaut songs
how much hope they had

[Anonymous No.12017331]

>>12017314

Soon, comrade.

[Anonymous No.12017336]

My relationship with my girlfriend is falling apart and it’s breaking my heart. I hope we get back on track, although things will never be as they were. I’ve lost my focus. I’m struggling at work and I’ve barely been reading. I need to sort myself out.

[Anonymous No.12017363]

>>12017336
Break it off. Renounce the flesh. Eliminate masturbation habit.

[Anonymous No.12017660]

I want to reforge myself in the image of the Byronic hero. How?

[Anonymous No.12017764]

>>12014134
fucking brainlets like you get what you deserve

[Anonymous No.12017793]

To understand everything is to forgive everything (Germaine de Staël). If you hold spite towards someone it's because you're not unintelligent (Dostoevsky).

Deeming life unfair is a sign of being delusional: You're not acknowledging your own petty motives.

[Anonymous No.12017795]

>>12017793
you're unintelligent* fuck

[Anonymous No.12018107]

>>12017003
I am glad you responded to this because you've done well to clarify what I mean. I am sure we are experiencing something similar. I think I am more emulating 'types' or 'dispositions' than actual individuals, I tend to become a kind of response to the conditions of whatever social group I am in, but I have also emulated a respected friend or public figure and tried to follow in their footsteps at times when I thought their path made sense.

however small it may be my authentic self feels you

[Anonymous No.12018147]

>>12007676
Am I ill? I feel quite detached from the present moment as if something isn't real. Like I'm living life behind cling wrap. I need to embrace the present but I tend not to.

[Anonymous No.12018202]

>>12018147
it's called dissociation, it sounds pretty comfy to me

[Anonymous No.12018207]

>>12017003
>>12018107
I for one dliberately pick my courses of action based on which will make me seem the most interesting to people; giving them whichever motives and opinions I expect them to find intriguing. Eventually I start to believe those reasons myself, but only until the acquaintanceship somehow spills into another, a discrepancy of egos occurs and one of the two is removed along with the corresponding acquaintanceship, that is, I burn the bridge.
Right now I'm trying to discover the common denominators in all the superficial dreams and beliefs I tell the people I talk with, but it's tough when you've spent more than a decade working on your ability to intrigue the listener within the sphere of mindsets plausible to belong to you.

[Anonymous No.12018217]

>>12018207
Actually that's not true
I block/ignore/stop looking at people because I get bored of them and quickly start feeling like maintaining the relationship is more effort than it's worth

[Anonymous No.12018221]

reddit is pathetic. dont know why it took me so long to realize, about 5 years. I was having a discussion on incest and made the mistake to quote totem and taboo by freud lmao. "Can you link to an actual peer reviewed paper" "That's not what the evidence says.." totem and taboo lists all the evidence that incest isnt naturally disgusting... these people are insane, science exists only to replace every man's responsibility. The burden of truth isn't on us anymore, it's on science. But what is science? corporation sponsored studies in sterile rooms with millions of dollars of equipment..... basically truth is impossible for the individual. we killed it.
weird incoherent rant sorry my meal sucked and Im angry

[Anonymous No.12018236]

>>12018207
>>12018217

Yes, I relate to all of this. It's kind of scary how accurately you describe it, I've never heard anyone put it like that before. That discrepancy of egos is my biggest fear and vulnerability. What is wrong with us?

[Anonymous No.12018286]

>>12018236
Probably just due to us wanting to be like that. Somewhere we consider ourselves some protagonists of life because of this very trait, and cling to the trait because we consider ourselves the protagonists of life. Call it pseudo megalomania if you want. I'm pretty sure there's no way out, or rather, because I believe it "works," in that it helps my success in some matters, I refuse to voluntarily get off the ride; thus I keep riding

[Anonymous No.12018303]

>>12018286
Don't you feel shame living like this though? I live in constant fear of being found out and depression/self hatred for being this way.

[Anonymous No.12018320]

>>12018303
I've perfected the art of guilt-tripping people for considering me calculating, hitting them with the "Oh so I should suffer and force myself to maintain rapport I wish to end, but when I hurt others feelings in as discreet a way as I'm capable of I'm the bad guy?"
And I myself count among my mind's targets, how could I hate myself for behaving in a way I find neat?
I did have a depression-tier phase due to a feeling of pointlessness in everything I do, but I got over that after half an hour thanks to my huge brain figuring out the ideal approach to fulfilling the point of life.

[Anonymous No.12018493]

>>12013070
You think about women or any partner as if they are utilitarian. It's going to sound cliche but you only see the destination and are neglecting the benefit of the journey.

Anon, death makes every relationship in life is temporary. You invest in those relationships because its a way to connect with others, develop yourself, and alleviate stress. It's the memories and lessons we take away from those relationships that are with us until death.

You say you're not lonely but with your attitude and style of writing I have a feeling you've never really connected with others.

[Anonymous No.12018569]

>>12017090
Edgy

[Anonymous No.12018895]

I got a B- on an essay I poured my soul into for my class but the professor said it was some of my best writing I've done although I've had better essays in that class with a higher score.

I'm kinda angry but happy at the same time that most of my class enjoyed it otherwise.

[Anonymous No.12018965]

My best friend from high school wants to visit me. We go to different universities and I've visited him, but I feel embarrassed since my social situation isn't great. He became more outgoing, made a ton of friends, and worked his ass of to get great jobs. I made a few friends, slacked off in my program for mediocre job prospects, and spend most Friday nights in my room alone. I hate that I'm a doomer when I'm only 21. I'm friendly with my housemates, but they have other friends or are boring too.

[Anonymous No.12018973]

I dislike most people and find myself voluntarily withdrawing from society more and more. Not sure if good or bad.

[Anonymous No.12018998]

>>12018965
To elaborate; there are 3 categories of people
1) those who I could easily become friends with but have little interest because they repulse me (gamers, people with bad hygeine, weirdos) and I would be embarrassed to be seen with them
2) interesting people who I would like to be friends with but who have better friend options than me by virtue of being interesting
I feel I'm an interesting person, but 3 hours of 4chan daily for 4 years has skewed my sense of humor. I have 2 options: lower my standards or improve myself. I've given self improvement a good shot, so now it's time to become a bloomer. Which is probably only possible by leaving 4chan.

[Anonymous No.12019006]

>>12018973
Same. Definitely bad. Unless you value the pursuit of the truth more than living a full life.

[Anonymous No.12019021]

>>12017660
It can't be done
It always just comes off as a delusional kids who watches too much anime

[Anonymous No.12019024]

>>12013070
I'm been thinking about this a lot recently anon. I really wanted to get a gf this year but the more I thought about how we'd have nine or so months together at most (graduating in the spring) before I moved somewhere else the more depressed I got. I've already spent a year reeling from heartache, I don't know if I could take getting very close to someone again only to lose them so soon. I'm very lonely in the meantime though, fuck.

[Anonymous No.12019032]

>>12017660
The Byronic hero existed in an age of romanticism, you'll just be derided for trying in the current irony-infested "lol caring about things is fucking gay" world.

[Anonymous No.12019044]

>>12018998
I wish you luck anon. I really struggle to make friends even though I've overcome a lot of my social anxiety and autism, like you said years of being alone make it hard to relate to well-adjusted people. The last time I felt like I understood the average person was in high school, when I was admittedly pretty lonely but also constantly in contact with other people my age. Ever since I left for college and started seeing my peers for maybe a couple hours a day (in a lecture hall, not a great place for socializing) I've felt disconnected from just about everyone except the loners on this board.

[Anonymous No.12019049]

>>12018493
>connect with others
platitude
>develop yourself
this one is true, but I can't see any development that comes from a romantic relationship that is not either (a) the result of a persistent relationship or (b) replicable in a platonic relationship
>and alleviate stress
the opposite, people stress me out and my previous relationships have been equal parts soothing and fraying
>It's the memories and lessons we take away from those relationships that are with us until death.
now this is utilitarian lmao
sorry if I sound bitter, your post was good even though I disagree with almost all of it

[Anonymous No.12019056]

My engineering GPA is 2.63 and I want to die
I'll graduate in 6 months, probably pull it up to at least 2.8 or 2.9 since I have to retake some classes
I have a horribly boring job offer for when I graduate but I can't bring myself to look employers in the eye knowing I have the worst average in my concentration of a couple dozen people.
I hate what I've made of myself. I wish I could go back and do it over again.

[Anonymous No.12019066]

>>12019044
Yeah, that's the weird thing. I always had friends around me in high school, but the anxiety of forming friendships conciously really trips me up. I was expecting college to be great, but it's really just more freedom to amplify whatever path you were on in high school.

[Anonymous No.12019110]

>>12014284
Been there done that

[Anonymous No.12019135]

>>12014284
this is an excellent cat to add to my sad cat collection

[Anonymous No.12019310]

>>12019006
I don't think I could fully enjoy my life woth most people anyway though.

[Anonymous No.12019330]

>>12013070
I'd say don't get into a relationship you don't both have the intention of continuing forever, but understand that shit happens. As long as a permanent long term relationship is a goal you don't compromise or lose sight of, you have a chance of finding one.

[Anonymous No.12019449]

i'm truly ugly as fuck, legit 3/10. 90% of this site looks better than me, i'm sure. at least pretty much all of the people that i have seen posting their faces were definitely above me, though, there is the confirmation bias, the ugly virgins like me won't ever have the courage to post their face here or in other place on the internet. this also means no gf, but depression and anxiety have took my sexual drive anyway, i don't even fap nor i'm interested in girls anymore, cause i know that pursuit is impossible. still, i'm trying to get over this fact but it's pretty hard knowing that you're always inferior in such an important factor to most of the population. i guess i have the arts to look forward to. i mean, a lot of the writers were incel tier ugly. see Deleuze, the man was ugly as fuck but he still lives on our minds everyday because of the countless shilling for him in this board. that's my goal in life desu, i want to be dead and discovered and be respected by a small academic circle and posted about in 4chin or whatever site like this that will exist in the future

[Anonymous No.12019459]

Whenever I meet someone who I feel like I can connect with, I immediately open up to them. I have friends, but for most part they are friends of convenience; a collection of people thrown together because of proximity and some shared interests, but nothing deeper.

Occasionally I meet people who I think are like me. When I do though I always overinvest. I obsess over every word, time ticks slowly, my mind becomes heavily preoccupied, I ask them to coffee, to parks, etcetera. But because of this, I come on too strongly, and the people I want to connect with the most inevitably draw away, disgusted and put-off by my apparent clinginess. I am aware of this tendency of mine but I don't know how I can stop it.

[Anonymous No.12019472]

Maybe Christianity is the ultimate nihilism

[Anonymous No.12019481]

>>12019449
Deleuze really wasn't that ugly anon, unless google is only showing his good pictures.

[Anonymous No.12019489]

>>12019481
desu i was only basing at this pics that get thrown around here. looking in google i found some pics of him young, and yeah, definitely not ugly. i do think that he's a 4/10 in his 'old' pics

[Anonymous No.12019535]

>>12019459
As a person who's put off by stuff people who overattach, part of the reason its offputting is becaude it feels shallow. Regardless of the vibe you get from a person, you don't know them that well right away. If you latch onto someone really fast, a lot of your perception of them is likely still just projection and assumption on your part, in a way that matches your ideal companion. It feels like their interest is less about you, and more about their need for companionship, and that really they could be doing the same thing easily with a lot of other people.

[Anonymous No.12019546]

>>12018107
>>12018207

Is it mental illness? I often wonder that in my clearer moments when I'm not caught up in the foolishness.

[Anonymous No.12019566]

>>12018107
>>12018207
How the fuck can you not have a self? I always act in front of other people but I know my actual self. How do you even stand being alone?

[Anonymous No.12019601]

>>12017314
Sounds comfy. Got any links?

[Anonymous No.12019606]

>>12019566
Not these guys but i understand them, there is no reason to believe the self that you present to your"self" is your actual self. I don't know if i'm a Schizo, but i act "characters" in my life. I literally LARP reality away. Like, i thought of starting treating my GF bad so she could cheat on me with my friend, so that i could have the experience to write a short story with these elements, a kind of Anna Karenina, y'know. Ended up not doing it because i don't want to be a cuck, and i need that friend for a job. I even did it here. I have at least 3 posts in this, written in different styles of punctuation, capitalization and vocabulary so i can act out characters. I actually do it all the time, in a lot of threads over the site(and i have to reply to different anons in different styles, so my average posting count is higher than this i think), acting out these "characters" who i create on the spot. I think i'm losing the coherence inside me. I don't think i have an actual self, just a great organizer of all these guys when i'm alone to my "self". I haven't heard any voices yet.

[Anonymous No.12019613]

>>12019606
Another thing: i always commit typos and weird phrasings because i stop commiting to the character halfway in the paragraph so i go back and rewrite some things to be more coherent with the "new" character.
Minor corrections:
>I even did it here in this thread.
>best friend

[illiterate No.12019631]

Finally got around to moving to a large city (>2.5m) and showed up at a local writers meetup and critique. It's one giant boardroom with like 20-30 middle aged men and women, some industry folks, and we take turns reading aloud and then critiquing the pieces. Turns out half the anons in our /lit/ crit threads can writer superior prose compared to soccer moms and 50 year old wanna-be fan fic authors. Was really blown away by how bad it was.

[Anonymous No.12019700]

>>12019546
I mean, mental illnesses aren't some clear-cut thing. Personally I'd say it doesn't qualify; a good therapist would probably write it off as a superiority complex. Then again, a strong enough complex can require legitimate therapy.
I've actually tried going to the extreme end of the rabbit hole in search of the ultimate edge - a la staring at the abyss - but there most likely is no proper end to it, much like with philosophy. Right now I'm working on a tulpa on search for the next level.

>>12019566
Can't speak for the other two, but it's not like I don't have wants and dislikes as long as there's no one to observe them. It's less of a "not having a self" and more of a "being unable to take that self outside for a walk." The moment there's an observer I start contemplating/calculating the situation I'm in. Frankly I'd venture to say that the same goes for everyone - you can be a tough case and have periods of introspection where you truly don't have a self to speak of, but I'd say the way you behave when alone, that is the things you seek and avoid, is your true self.
You could get funny and roll of my earlier "You are part of your own audience" and say that even then you're not yourself, but I don't have a smart answer to that so yeah.

>>12019606
>I think i'm losing the coherence inside me.
You and me both, waybrother. Untangling that knot one insight at a time.

[Anonymous No.12020074]

>>12019449
What do you look like? If you get built then you can make up for some of it

[Anonymous No.12020113]

>>12019449
Try growing your hair out, it will distract from whatever you don't like about your face

[Anonymous No.12020120]

I worked as a residential counselor at a group home until Monday, but I just quit. My parents and psychiatrist thought it wasn't good for me. I was stressed out and missing sleep (I worked third shift).

The place I worked put a microchip in my brain, so I was always a little apprehensive about working there, but the government was behind it so no matter where I work I'd have the same problem.

I'm trying to get out more and do more things.

[illiterate No.12020212]

>>12020120

Care to elaborate about the chip and government involvement? What has your shrink diagnosed you with?

[Anonymous No.12020223]

>>12020212
Nice try FDA but they are just doing their job.

[Anonymous No.12020425]

Holden may be a bit of an asshole and arrogant but he's not wrong. The world is fake as all hell and sincerity and truth is dead, if it were ever even alive.

[Anonymous No.12020831]

>>12019606
more behavior i relate to, no closer to solving the problem

[Anonymous No.12020848]

>>12019700
>a good therapist would probably write it off as a superiority complex.
this can't be true of me because it haunts me as the greatest inferiority. i cannot even be myself. daily life becomes a fugitive activity