/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10954207]

>woke up this morning at the universally renowned University of Oxford knowing there is a place for me on this earth
>feelings of intense self-loathing, low self-worth, and failure all dissipated
>put on my long black cloak-like jacket over a woolen jumper over a crisp and ironed shirt, with black cotton pleated trousers and my trusty black pleather shoes
>walked alone the cobbled stone streets feeling extremely Potter-esque
>felt an extreme urge to jump up and click my heels but realized I didn't know if I could pull it off
>feel like today I have been reborn or granted a new "lease of life", as if my perspective has been cleansed
>saw two birds (a couple) plucking each other's feathers and flirting with one another on the roof of one of Oxford's many fine, ancient, architecturally distinct, aesthetically superior buildings
>started crying in public as I listened to a certain musician whose music has helped me calm down during periods of immense (and I mean immense) mental strife
>right now sitting in my room sipping a cup of hot chocolate and feeling an intense "buzz" or "euphoria" from sipping the hot chocolate and slapping my lips and saying "ahhh" with my eyes closed
>tfw squirming in my seat as I am typing this and imagine that if I were a female I could achieve orgasm by rubbing myself this way

Truly if Hogwarts existed it would resemble the University of Oxford, and its student body would be very much like the genetically profound, well-raised, handsome, well-dressed, intelligent, diverse students I am acquainted with on a daily basis. Noon is almost upon us, and I intend to take a long stroll along the canal and relish the feelings of youth, of renewable, of optimism and of self-confidence which have reawakened within me today.

What's your favorite book in the Harry Potter series /lit/?

[Anonymous No.10954216]

>>10954207
How much amphetamine do you have to sniff to get through your weekly 6000+ word writing assignments?

[Anonymous No.10954215]

You're not oxford fag. You're a fake! A fraud! A phoney!

[Anonymous No.10954220]

>>10954216
> working for 10 hours a week
Oh the horror!!!!

[Anonymous No.10954232]

>>10954220
>thinks working for 10 hours a week on assignments at Oxford is sufficient
Are there any good universities left in the states?

[Anonymous No.10954233]

>>10954216
>>10954220
I treat any and all assignments as a test of my worth both as a human being and as a student here at the University of Oxford. Although at times I have struggled to adhere to conventional essay structures and so on, my eccentricity and rugged working class sensibility have endeared me to the academic staff, who sometimes become visibly embarrassed in my company due to their own financially secure upbringing and their rather predictable lifelong membership in the upper-middle class. I do not take drugs. Nor do I imbibe alcohol. Nor do I penetrate others or allow others to penetrate me.

[Anonymous No.10954237]

This saga is under-appreciated

[Anonymous No.10954241]

>>10954233
based autistic prole

[Anonymous No.10954244]

>tfw you'll never study maths at oxford

[Anonymous No.10954259]

>>10954207
Oxfordfag, why don't you have a girlfriend?

[Anonymous No.10954265]

>>10954244
Perhaps not, but you can rest assured that you may, if you wish, choose to experience the many wonders of (University of / City of) Oxford through me. I don't study Mathematics, though I imagine the lives of those who do are similar to my own, if only externally (due to their relatively narrow capacity to appreciate beauty, aesthetics, ethics, love etc).

[Anonymous No.10954297]

>>10954259
The reasons have only become clear to me within the past year or so, though realistically I was always aware of them if only superficially in a detached and rather abstract sense. Explaining in sufficient detail why I have never been in a mature romantic relationship would require more space than that allotted by a single post on 4chan. In short, my self-confidence has for over a decade been almost absent, despite - paradoxically - my self-perception very often becoming inflated to such a bizarre degree that I imagine myself to be both a worthless, pathetic child and a distinct genius whose ambition and potential is almost unmatched. It is most curious indeed. Now several girls have gazed at me in a way that clearly communicated their physical and emotional longing for me, and though I have been aware in almost every instance of my power over them during these periods of infatuation, I have always found a way of preventing myself from taking advantage of this fortuitous position and doing anything that may have resulted in any of these girls - one of whom I will always think about on a regular basis - from being my official lover. My mother recently sat down with me and had one of only a handful of serious conversations I've ever had with her. She became rather heated (not in a sexual sense) and told me quite bluntly that I don't think anything of my self, and that I always deny myself pleasure and make myself as small as possible as though I don't deserve happiness or contentment. I found myself agreeing with, and despite her utter lack of education or academic intelligence, she has often proved to be a rather wise and insightful individual. And of course nobody knows me as well as my dear old Mum, so there must be something in what she says. "You have such a wicked personality!" she told me, "[...] you're wasted". She even told me that I was "handsome", which is very reassuring as you might imagine. But in short my lack of self-esteem has blighted my ambitions to love someone and be loved by them in return. I have never felt myself worthy of being loved, in that sense.

[Anonymous No.10954341]

>just decided to take a quick stroll around the colleges here at the University of Oxford
>turned a corner and the sun began shining into mine eyes forcing my to squint
>tfw pushed onwards and heard someone blasting Nimrod from their college dorm
>tfw a group of us gathered 'neath his (or her, sexists) window and admired the music with tears in our eyes
>tfw after the song ended we shook hands and nodded towards each other and communicated to each other the glory of life here in England (Oxford, specifically)
>tfw gave the Pakistani man in the off-licence several pounds and instructed him (as one would a coolie) to "keep the change"
>tfw he winked at me and gasped like a chimney sweep at Christmas being handed an extra tuppence for his hard work
>tfw walked back to my dorm and felt a crescendo-esque emotion which left me lying on the floor twitching and spasming in pleasure
>tfw for a moment it felt as though all the Great Minds of Oxford (University of) past flooded into me and whispered their advice and encouragement into my ear
>tfw just impulse-bought a British flag on Amazon and intend to hand it somewhere in a way that isn't taccy

I have an entire afternoon to myself, dearest readers. What this day holds for me I do not know, nor do I even risk assuming what fate holds for me in the next few hours. This afternoon and evening could be the making of me. Today could be day I transcend my current state of existence and occupy an even higher plain. All I ask, friends, is that you wish me luck along the way, so that I may serve you as best I can and be your representative on earth and suffer the highs and lows that my uniquely sensitive nervous system and my distinctly profound intellect has the potential to appreciate.

[Anonymous No.10954377]

>>10954233

You're like one of those characters you get in medieval books who was an illiterate fisherman then taught himself to read and became a monk

[Anonymous No.10954388]

>>10954207
>(and I mean immense)
Oh my god get over yourself.

[Anonymous No.10954401]

>>10954377
Thank you.

>>10954388
I'll first have to fully grasp what my self entails. But thank you for the encouragement.

[Anonymous No.10954409]

how's your novel coming along OP?

[Anonymous No.10954419]

just jelly of your carreer prospects
I wouldn't give a shit about how good the campus, the teachers, the students etc are
maybe because I'm salty that I moved from KCL to doing a phd on a us state uni that is ranking around 400
my kingdom for a top 100 uni!

[Anonymous No.10954432]

>>10954419
Wow, which US university are you attending? Your sense of adventure is remarkable, and I say that sincerely. How often have I thought of leaving this highly academic life behind and living as a tramp for a spell in the United States, sleeping in a tent, or a trailer, or in the homes of kind Christians, of traveling the highway gazing out at farmland and vast mountain ranges feeling like something of a mystic and using my wit, intellect and refined accent to woo women from Nebraska to St. Paul. Alas, such a life was not for me. But you, you, do you intend to stay in the United States after earning your PhD?

>>10954409
My short story cycle is coming along nicely, thank you. I am writing a highly stylistic but also intensely emotional collection of vignettes focusing on the lives of those living in an industrial town at a time of great economic and spiritual upheaval. It only takes a minute or so of Portuguese guitar to transport me to the town about which I'm writing, where the struggles of its citizenry are so intense that I truly feel that I am experiencing each of them in turn, albeit from the comfort of my ancient dormitory.

[Anonymous No.10954443]

>>10954432
i like you're LARPing style bro

[Anonymous No.10954444]

>>10954297
>tfw I didn't even go to university but frequently bang hot uni chicks

[Anonymous No.10954450]

>>10954215

You're fake, a phoney, a rice-a-roni jibroni!
Brother, I'm going to bounce you like a check for my alimony.

[Anonymous No.10954464]

>>10954444
Not from the University of Oxford, surely? Female students here, for good reason, avoid any physical intimacy with members of the lower orders. A broken condom or a few minutes of hasty sexual intercourse without proper planning can ruin the life (and career, furthermore) of a pure English Rose.

[Anonymous No.10954553]

>>10954265
>not studying maths

[Anonymous No.10954563]

>woke up this morning at the universally renowned University of Wollongong knowing there is a place for me on this earth
>feelings of intense self-loathing, low self-worth, and failure all dissipated
>put on my long black cloak-like jacket over a woolen jumper over a crisp and ironed shirt, with black cotton pleated trousers and my trusty black pleather shoes
>walked alone the cobbled stone streets feeling extremely Potter-esque
>felt an extreme urge to jump up and click my heels but realized I didn't know if I could pull it off
>feel like today I have been reborn or granted a new "lease of life", as if my perspective has been cleansed
>saw two birds (a couple) plucking each other's feathers and flirting with one another on the roof of one of Wollongong's many fine, ancient, architecturally distinct, aesthetically superior buildings
>started crying in public as I listened to a certain musician whose music has helped me calm down during periods of immense (and I mean immense) mental strife
>right now sitting in my room sipping a cup of hot chocolate and feeling an intense "buzz" or "euphoria" from sipping the hot chocolate and slapping my lips and saying "ahhh" with my eyes closed
>tfw squirming in my seat as I am typing this and imagine that if I were a female I could achieve orgasm by rubbing myself this way

Truly if Hogwarts existed it would resemble the University of Wollongong, and its student body would be very much like the genetically profound, well-raised, handsome, well-dressed, intelligent, diverse students I am acquainted with on a daily basis. Noon is almost upon us, and I intend to take a long stroll along the canal and relish the feelings of youth, of renewable, of optimism and of self-confidence which have reawakened within me today.

What's your favorite book in the Harry Potter series /lit/?

[Anonymous No.10954588]

>>10954297
>Explaining in sufficient detail why I have never been in a mature romantic relationship would require more space than that allotted by a single post on 4chan.
Wrong. You're a faggot.