/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10781387]

>"And this is my daughter's room. Shes quite the book lover."

[Anonymous No.10781391]

>>10781387
Why, eh?
Why do ye read so much Y A?

[Anonymous No.10782148]

>>10781387
hmm ... do you smell cat piss?

[Anonymous No.10782185]

>who is that pleb, daddy?

[Anonymous No.10782197]

>>10781387
Only kino if she’s read them all and can discuss them intelligently

[Anonymous No.10782214]

>>10781387
>mfw no gf who eats silverfish in her sleep

[Anonymous No.10782228]

>>10781387
>tfw you'll never date that qt 3.14 that has read more than noam chomsky because she tripped over a book and was crushed to death by the books she was hoarding

[Anonymous No.10782243]

I'm not a daughter I was born a male I am a son.

[Anonymous No.10782253]

whenever I see a room littered with books I'm itching for a match in my pocket

[Anonymous No.10782270]

>>10782214
I fucking hate silverfish
I got a few of them with an old painting and now I will never be able to get rid off them
I spent an entire weekend trying to xenocide them and they became more aggressive and started crawling onto my bed in the morning

[Anonymous No.10782289]

>>10782270
same. pretty sure i got them in a used book, or through a crack in the window screen. i've had one cuddle up to my as i was trying to sleep. dis gust ing desu

[Anonymous No.10782294]

silverfish don't live in kindles nor nooks

[Anonymous No.10782304]

>>10782294
thanks i'll just throw out my entire library thanks for that m8

[Anonymous No.10782306]

>>10782304
no need to thank me, thank amazon

[Anonymous No.10782331]

>mfw i found out jeff bezos spends all his days shitposting on /lit/

[Anonymous No.10782333]

Pussy must stink. Fuck that loser whore.

[Anonymous No.10782411]

>>10781387
the downside of no ereader

[Anonymous No.10782425]

>>10782294
I only have silverfish in the bathroom, and thats very rarely. What the hell do people do to get them to live in their books?

[Anonymous No.10782427]

>>10782197
>kino
ima need you to stop appropriating /tv/-culture your privileged fuck

[Anonymous No.10782431]

>and this is my professor's room. he's quite the linguist.

[Anonymous No.10782451]

>>10782431
absolutely disgusting

[Anonymous No.10782453]

>>10782425
they eat the starch in the paper, or rotting wood in bathrooms.

[Anonymous No.10782456]

>>10781387
>By daughter I mean my son. He's transitioning. Kids these days...I wish I knew what went wrong. What I did wrong.

[Anonymous No.10782458]

>>10782294
FUCK OFF SHILL

[Anonymous No.10782473]

>>10782458
They dont live in shills, either.

[Anonymous No.10782478]

>>10782473
Holy....

[Anonymous No.10782486]

>>10782431

CLEAN

[Anonymous No.10782496]

>>10781387

It's a warning sign if a girl reads. You'll never be able to keep her with her incessant need for entertainment. Boring girls are so much easier.

[Anonymous No.10782556]

>>10782486
WE

[Anonymous No.10782622]

>>10782496
You could always write for her?
Write her a YA novel tailored to her with you as the dazzling vampire outcast or whatever.
And when she grows older you get the role as devious and beautiful rogue who takes her with love, and with force.
You can at least write at YA level right?

[Anonymous No.10782635]

>>10782427
>appropriating /tv/-culture
we're all pseud crossboarders m8, we can say kino

[Anonymous No.10782665]

>>10782289
>>10782270
I didn't know about silverfish before, so these anecdotes crowded my brain with pure abjection.

Even looking them up, I'm in a mood now where all biology, even my own, disgusts and frightens me.

[Anonymous No.10782728]

I slept on an old camping mat for the better part of a year once. One day I flipped it over and the underside was crawling with silverfish. The things darted every which way before I could react.

...very disquieting

[Anonymous No.10782756]

>>10782431
So Jewish (the mess)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIQp31Oyn70

[Anonymous No.10782763]

>>10782556
WUZ

[Anonymous No.10783002]

>>10782270
I-I never knew silverfish existed until now, that's fucking disgusting

[Anonymous No.10783018]

>>10782665
I think they’re cute

[Anonymous No.10783038]

>>10783002
They're pretty common in older buildings and bathrooms. They get mistaken for centipedes by a lot of people.

[Anonymous No.10783561]

>>10782728
>>10782270
Truly God hates us

[Anonymous No.10783668]

How do large libraries prevent silverfish infections?

[Anonymous No.10783690]

>>10782270
silverfish are cuties desu~

[Anonymous No.10783697]

>>10783668

>They inhabit moist areas, requiring a relative humidity between 75% and 95%. In urban areas, they can be found in attics, basements, bathtubs, sinks, kitchens, old books and showers.

Make sure your books are not in a humid location. I would start with this.

[Anonymous No.10783709]

>tfw this is me
>NEET for six months since quitting my job
>had a boyfriend who I met from Tinder but he ghosted me
>sit all day in my onesie drinking exotic teas and reading books
>masturbate several times a day
>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt
>shave all my pubic hair and cry because there's nobody to fuck me
>keep shouting at my parents because they wake me up early and I'm terrified of ageing poorly due to lack of sleep
>considering giving in and just fucking some random older guy from a bar or something

[Anonymous No.10783727]

>>10783709
Please post your titties.

[Anonymous No.10783739]

>>10783697
>requiring a relative humidity between 75% and 95%

Thank fuck I'm living on a dry steppe

[Anonymous No.10783760]

>>10783709
>Trap farts in pussy
Oh shit I thought that was just me

Also I've never had problems with silverfish but I was cleaning my shelves and found a swarm of lady bugs behind the books

[Anonymous No.10783778]

>tfw room is an absolute tip
>tfw you spin around on your desk chair and knock a stack of monster cans and a wine bottle

Why is cleaning your room so hard?

[Anonymous No.10783783]

>>10783709
>>10783760
>Trap farts in pussy

Explain how this is an enjoyable activity

[Anonymous No.10783801]

>>10782253
>t. Count Olaf

[Anonymous No.10783813]

>>10782185
You're sitting on the ground RIGHT next to the chair. I mean it's RIGHT there and you're even leaning on it a bit. What the fuck

[Anonymous No.10783827]

>>10783783
Twice the braps my dear

[Anonymous No.10783837]

>>10782270
borax and permethrin. dust everything, and put bowls of borax beneath feet of bookcases/around base. freeze whatever the fuck you got them in. they're attracted to moulds especially, so if you're storing your books in a humid space, stop with that shit. if i have to tell you a windowsill is a humid place i hope the silverfish eat you in your sleep
>>10783690
silverfish defense force please go, you are an abomination and need to be scrubbed from the earth.

[Anonymous No.10783846]

>>10783709
Gross

[Anonymous No.10783854]

>>10783813
better posture and more warmth from fire on your back

[Anonymous No.10783879]

>>10783709
>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt
my image of women will never be the same anymore

[Anonymous No.10783928]

>>10783813
that's daddy's chair

[Anonymous No.10783935]

>>10783879
it is most likely a trap... tread carefully

[Anonymous No.10783946]

>>10783709
>>10783760
wtf im gay now??

[Anonymous No.10783975]

>>10783709
>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt

why do I feel like this should gross me out more than it does

[Anonymous No.10783997]

>>10781387
This is why I always purge my shelves every few years. I get rid of dozens of books I've read and hated, or books I'll just never end up reading or rereading, or I no longer have interest in.

[Anonymous No.10784633]

>>10781387
>Lmao I bet she hasn't read a single one. What a thot

[Anonymous No.10785051]

>>10782333
You have no chance of fucking her.

[Anonymous No.10785080]

>purchase Oxford Library of English Poetry 3-Volume Box Set from charity shop for £2
>in surprisingly good condition, likely never actually read just kept on shelf
>pull books out of box
>colossal spider corpse emerges

[Anonymous No.10785193]

>>10785080

[Anonymous No.10785196]

>probably your daughter take naked pics holding a book to show how sexy and smart she is

[Anonymous No.10785224]

>>10785080
This didn't really happen right

[Anonymous No.10785248]

>>10783813
It's a painting dude. She can't hear you. Not even if you capslock.

[Anonymous No.10785290]

>>10783935
It is not

[Anonymous No.10785304]

>>10782185
>sweats
>"m-my name is a-a-non, what is yours? and what are you r-reading there?"
>swallows loudly

[Anonymous No.10785324]

>>10785080
What's a colossal spider for a fucking britbong? 4 cm?

[Anonymous No.10785340]

>>10782214
>>10782270
>>10782294
>>10782425
>>10782665
>>10782728
>>10783002
>>10783668
>>10783690
>>10783760
>>10783837

Spiders eat silverfish. They are silent and they don't damage books.

[Anonymous No.10785343]

>>10785324
That's right, around the size of your penis

[Anonymous No.10785372]

>>10785340
All hail the children of Ungoliant

[Anonymous No.10785378]

>>10782496
>reading for entertainment

[Anonymous No.10785385]

>>10785343
If British women are spooked by something that tiny I'd better move over there ASAP

[Anonymous No.10785395]

>>10785385
That depends, does it have 8 legs and 120 eyes?

[Anonymous No.10785405]

>>10782763
SILVERFISH

[Anonymous No.10785456]

>>10785395
Not technically, but I could shape my pubes into a spider

[Anonymous No.10785546]

r8 my cave

uni room btw

[Anonymous No.10785550]

>>10785546
pleb/10
>smoking the herbal jew
end your life

[Anonymous No.10785553]

>>10785550
>the herbal jew

listen to yourself my man

[Anonymous No.10785565]

>>10785553
>he doesn't know
why do you have two tops for the same grinder, anyway?

[Anonymous No.10785574]

>>10785546
you're so generic you're probably a google mashup

[Anonymous No.10785577]

>>10783709
Melissa Broder is on /lit/??

Anyo

[Anonymous No.10785583]

>>10785574
>he's retarded

oh

[Anonymous No.10785643]

>>10783709
>>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt

This is the most stimulating thing I've ever read on /lit/.

[Anonymous No.10785746]

>>10783709
>>10783760
I'm one with the universe. I can see everything now.

[Anonymous No.10785788]

>>10781387
If the room is that messy then her vagina smells like an Armenian coal miner.

[Anonymous No.10785939]

>>10782214
>>10782270
>silverfish exist
I thought it was just a Minecraft thing, what the fuck

[Anonymous No.10785969]

>>10785546
Looks comfy, just clean it up. Do you have any windows
>that weed
Disgusting man. Smoke it outside, at least

[Anonymous No.10785983]

>>10783709
>>10783760
>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt
Christ

Women are animals

[Anonymous No.10785997]

>>10781387
>all those books
>probably just a bunch of shitty fiction
I've never met a woman with good taste

[Anonymous No.10786036]

They all look carefully arranged to me. A real person would have boxed the shit they didn't plan on rereading.

[Anonymous No.10786048]

>wake up
>daughter is an ant
what did i mean by this?

[Anonymous No.10786370]

>>10785997

I doubt you meet much women in general.

[Anonymous No.10786385]

>>10783709
You remind me of my alcoholic best friend from younger days. Hang in there, baby!

[Anonymous No.10786572]

>>10783709
some screencap this then post it on /r/greentext/

[Anonymous No.10786712]

>>10783709
>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt

that's going in my diary for today

[Anonymous No.10786719]

>>10783709
2/10 I replied

[Anonymous No.10786762]

Got ghosted last year by a qt girl who liked Blake, Eco, Dostoevsky etc.

>legit asks if I'm her dream guy and asks me out
>couldn't bc I had to finish two uni essays in 3 days
>ask her if she wants to do something next week, and instead of saying she's busy she just says she doesn't want to
>days later, likes one of my fb posts and I message her again, only to be left on seen and deleted the next day

Women are strange brahs

[Anonymous No.10786819]

>>10785546
you look like someone who needs the attention from online strangers
here take it you basic-bitch generic soyboy

[Anonymous No.10786831]

>>10786762
>last year
>still felt oblidged to think about her let alone post about her

kys you absolute cuck, you missed your chance with some garbagecan slut, guys can get fixated on the fleeting interest a women shows in them, that doesn't mean she wasn't anything more than the average posturing whore.

[Anonymous No.10786868]

>>10785939
They're actually crustaceans, believe it or not.

[Anonymous No.10786887]

>>10785340
Was about to post this. They also make cool cobwebs that really tie the library together.

[Anonymous No.10786890]

>>10786831
This. If she's ghosting you on purpose when you didn't nothing wrong then she's a fuckin psycho. You should bail on her even if she gives you another shot because she's probably really controlling and mind game-y.

[Anonymous No.10786897]

>>10786868
Wrong, they're a basal insect species.

[Anonymous No.10786900]

>>10786897
Fuck you, asshole

[Anonymous No.10786902]

>>10783709
Astounding.

[Anonymous No.10786912]

>>10786900
It's quite easy to google "facts" before posting.

[Anonymous No.10786921]

>image of lots of books
>filesize too small to read the spines

for what purpose

[Anonymous No.10787549]

>>10782197
yep libraries are only for storing all the books you have ever read

[Anonymous No.10788044]

>>10782214
>>10782270
>>10782294
>>10782425
>>10782665
>>10782728
>>10783002
I am itching all over my body now fuck you for mentioning silverfish, fuck /lit/ and my choice for going here today it was a nice day now I might have a stroke ffs disgusting

[Anonymous No.10788050]

>>10783709
>>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt

[Anonymous No.10788132]

>>10782728

blergh

[Anonymous No.10788218]

>>10782496

>being unable to keep up with an engaging person in a meaningful way

[Anonymous No.10788489]

>>10783946
Lel

[Anonymous No.10790209]

>>10786385
oven dodger

[Anonymous No.10790220]

>>10790209
that is a hammock kitten, you shouldn't put them in the oven, that is for a shivery kitten and only on low heat with blankets.

[Anonymous No.10790252]

>>10790220
I would never put a cat in a oven,even low heat ones buddy.Maybe you just need to listen to a good song to get rid off bad toughts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ar9qA3WJInk
BTW: listen to the song,winona maybe is a oven dodger but she's a very cute one, don't get salty nigger.

[Anonymous No.10790279]

>>10782496
please re read the idiotic nonsense that you just posted

[Anonymous No.10790346]

>>10781387

>dat Eames lounge chair

Mid-century Modern furniture classic, shes got good taste.

[Anonymous No.10790379]

>>10783709
>fart into the ground and try and trap the air so it goes straight into my cunt
Did you just say you trap toots in your bagina?

[Anonymous No.10790784]

>>10783709
>terrified of ageing poorly
>sits around all day in a onesie does fuck all
>terrified of ageing poorly
>loads up on caffiene
>terrified of ageing poorly
>daily bean flick trifecta
>terrified of ageing poorly
>poor sleep due to inactivity
>terrified of ageing poorly
>bother its parents into an early grave
>terrified of ageing poorly
not terrified nearly enough or don't understand what terrified means.
I'm no fussy cunt, but something tells me if I met you irl, I probably wouldn't fuck you either. fart pussy or not.

[Anonymous No.10790808]

>>10790252
>I would never put a cat in a oven,even low heat ones buddy.
but they are good incubators with constant heat and temp control. sometimes you have to put the shivery kitten in the oven or he die, anon. :((

[Anonymous No.10790851]

>>10782243
Beautiful prose, anon

[Anonymous No.10790884]

>>10782243

Oh this made me laugh so hard. It's perfect. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.10790952]

>>10787549
Not sure if this is sarcasm but that’s not a library

[Anonymous No.10790963]

>>10783760
>>10783709
>wtf I'm gay now

[Anonymous No.10791720]

>>10785080
Why buying second hand shit can be a mistake

[Anonymous No.10791941]

>>10785080
>buy nazi photographic aesthetics books on the representation of young children
>pages stick together

[Anonymous No.10792005]

>>10782431
>>10781387
>>10785546
CLEAN YOUR ROOM
FUCK YOU LOSERS
DO YOU NOT EVEN CARE ABOUT THE DOMINANCE HIERARCHY?

[Anonymous No.10792033]

>>10782270
Those pieces of shit started to live in my books. Sometimes I amoust touch this garbage and feels discusting when I notice how close I was to touching them. Why this garbage even exist in the first place? Fuck, why I always get fucked?

[Anonymous No.10792040]

>>10785340
There are some spiders in the middle of the biome that is my books, but still, I fucking hate everysingle insect alive. I only leave the spiders because I don't get them as easely as the fucking silverfish

[Anonymous No.10792162]

>>10785340
This. If I could, I'd get a pound of bulk spiders, from PetCo, and release them into the kitchen of whatever apartment i'm moving into, every time I had to move.

[Anonymous No.10792398]

Good goy you hate silverfish don't you? Perhaps if you had an e-reader ..... -Jeff Bezos

[Anonymous No.10792733]

>>10792398
Fuck off. The silverfish is the insect Jew, destroying Western knowledge from the inside out.

[Anonymous No.10793721]

>>10785983
STOP POSTING THIS IMAGE

[Anonymous No.10793782]

Over the course of the past three years or so I have been systematically dissolving Marcel Proust's In Search of Lost Time via the high pH environment of my pussy. Every morning after I shower, I insert a page or two, and by the end of the day, the paper will have dissolved into a slurry which acts as an excellent lubricant. I make my own dildos in my woodworking studio, and have a wonderful time everyday fucking my pulpy pussy with those woody phalluses. I use a little woodburning kit to engrave literary quotes on them. My favorite bears the inscription "Mais ou sont le neiges du annee." I'm on volume three currently.

[Anonymous No.10793999]

>>10793782

[Anonymous No.10794024]

>>10793782
memorable

[Anonymous No.10794042]

>>10793782
please learn french, it's fucking with my immersion.

[Anonymous No.10794097]

This is currently the best thread on /lit/.

[Anonymous No.10794269]

>>10794042
Feels right to me when I'm using it for fucking with my pussy.

[Anonymous No.10795906]

why doesn't your daughter have a bed?

[Anonymous No.10795944]

>>10795906
she never sleeps

[Anonymous No.10796828]

>>10782431
would hang out with and maybe be involved sexually

[Anonymous No.10796932]

>>10782431
Kek, this is what my thesis supervisors office was like. I had to pull a chair around to her side of the desk so I could actually sit and see her at the same time

[Anonymous No.10797290]

>>10783709
I don't mind being your friend anon.
Maybe even take you out for a nice dinner and then eat you out while you enjoy some wine and a novel you like.

[Anonymous No.10797330]

>>10782431
Hey, it's noam chomsky's office lol. He's my hero.

[Anonymous No.10797788]

>>10781387
>Girl
>Books
Pick one

[Anonymous No.10797817]

>>10797788
i pick girls

[shit the drug thread is archiv(...) No.10798799]

>>10783709
put me in the screencap

[Anonymous No.10798809]

My desk

[Anonymous No.10798813]

>>10785343
>american can't into metric system

[shit the drug thread is archiv(...) No.10798880]

>>10798809
impressive
what kind of glue do you use?

[Anonymous No.10798887]

>>10798809
Nice to see Joyce is popular in Australia too.

[Anonymous No.10799038]

>>10782496
Only if you're a brainlet or an autist who thinks conversation is a one sided entertainment act. Talking with well-read people is so easy; they can engage with the things you say and get involved in conversations. Whereas boring people it's like staring a blank piece of paper, you look and you look and you have no idea how to start.

[Anonymous No.10799086]

>>10785340
Yes! My army of Pholcidae also braces me against the annually assault of the Ant Kingdom on my flat.

[Muck Bulligan !!ryE2gEjGbpu No.10799714]

>>10787549
i can tell who doesn't fucking read by whether or not they immediately ask "so you've read all of these?" when they enter my apartment

[Anonymous No.10799762]

>>10793782

[Anonymous No.10799768]

>>10798887
underrated

[Anonymous No.10799780]

My sister unironically reads more than a hundred books each year and, I'm ashamed to say, is far more /lit/ than me. She's not very attractive though so I don't think you'd like her, poor girl looks like a female version of me (that's not a good thing)

[Anonymous No.10799800]

>look up silverfish
>look up girls
>look up books
>feel the sudden urge to nuke planet from orbit

[Anonymous No.10799810]

>>10797788
one

[Anonymous No.10799813]

>>10783813

>sitting on the ground

She is sitting on a carpet that I imagine is as luxurious as her bush.

[Anonymous No.10799824]

>>10799800
welcome to /lit/, we'd send you your antinatalism membership card but if you were a real human being you'd kill yourself before it got there

[Anonymous No.10799832]

>>10797788
holy shit bro, where do you order girls from? what's shipping on them like? is there a girldepository? pls let there be girldepository

[Anonymous No.10799870]

>>10785340

>usually stays out of sight
>doesn't ruin your things
>eats disgusting insects that want to suck your blood or eat your property

Spiders are total bros.

[Anonymous No.10800487]

>>10799780
Have you ever played around with your sister's pussy?

[Anonymous No.10800499]

>>10799870
noble creatures of the dark, just like bats. To harm them betrays RESSENTIMENT and fear of predatory powers

[Anonymous No.10800633]

>>10781391
yanra fiction?

[Anonymous No.10800670]

>>10800499
i don't know, some of them are really big and scary

[Anonymous No.10800687]

>>10781387
Dusty books by the window is a potential fire hazard.

[Anonymous No.10801313]

>>10800000

[Anonymous No.10801329]

>>10800487
>tfw i'm pretty sure my sister molested me once when i was younger but i don't want to bring it up because we have a pretty normal relationship

[Anonymous No.10801333]

>>10792040
spiders aren't insects

[Anonymous No.10801422]

>>10782185
Not gonna lie this pic makes me ache

[Anonymous No.10801452]

>>10782214
How do they even stay alive? I always find them in sealed boxes that haven't been touched in months or years

[Anonymous No.10801569]

>>10800487
No

[Anonymous No.10801645]

>>10798887
funny, pity you missed out on quads

[Anonymous No.10801660]

>>10782431
>smart people are really clean and well organ—

[Anonymous No.10801679]

>>10782306
What if Amazon is mailing people silverfish to drive up Kindle sales?

[Anonymous No.10801689]

>>10782728
Goddamn, I am gagging at the thought of this. Imagine how many crawled over you in the night.

[Anonymous No.10801690]

>>10801679
>...shut it down

[Anonymous No.10802906]

>>10801422
>tfw no qt interwar upperclass gf

[Anonymous No.10803429]

>>10783760
>I was cleaning my shelves and found a swarm of lady bugs behind the books
Find your spectacles - those are bedbugs.

[Anonymous No.10804227]

>>10783813
I laughed