/lit/ - Literature

[Anonymous No.10134990]

Write what's on your mind

[Anonymous No.10134993]

>>10134990
I believe I would rather not exist, but I fear that when non-existence rears its head I'll cry for life like a coward.

[Anonymous No.10135016]

>>10134993
The more I think about it, the more the end of existence seems like an utterly horrifying concept.

[Anonymous No.10135032]

>>10134990
I love that which causes disquiet in the hearts of many
It is the absence of the loud, the close, the fleeting
It is the hum of unobstructed sunrise
It is the pattering feet of commuting stars
It is the low booms produced in the throats of mesas
It is the sighing of the earthly wind in her gentle breathing
I love the clarity found in emptiness, whispered by massive silent things
Upon approaching the village, I can hear their wisdom no longer

[Anonymous No.10135039]

Worth reiterating:

>>10134753
>>10134769

[Anonymous No.10135050]

>>10135039
I respectfully disagree

[Anonymous No.10135051]

I write out posts and then delete them. Who cares really? Every second I spend here increases the intensity of my wincing face.

[Anonymous No.10135054]

>>10135051
It will soon be time for you to ascend.
Introduce a smile.
Invoke the spirit of Harold.

[Anonymous No.10135056]

>>10135051
I do this a lot when I just need to get something out of my chest. I open page 10 threads and post saged rants about how everything is wrong with this shit "life".

[Anonymous No.10135060]

>>10134993
>>10135016
Don't worry. There's no non-existence, we all go to Heaven when we die. :^)

[Anonymous No.10135063]

When Christianity claims that abstinence from worldly pleasures is highly auspicious it claims that worldly pleasures are inherently desirable. An argument indistinguishable from Biological Essentialism/Human Nature.

Christians are Atheists.

[Anonymous No.10135073]

>>10134990
I'm not sure if I'm being stupid by being so broad about my interests (engineering grad into literature/philosophy and pursuing a career in the natural sciences).

I want to excel in something, but I can't tell if this broadness is just a waste of precious time or if a wide base of conceptual metaphors is a precondition of genius.

[Anonymous No.10135075]

>>10135060
I know you're being ironic, but according to what?
The Bible does promise the cessation of existence, to some. In the Revelation, it's referred to as the Second Death.

[Anonymous No.10135085]

I wish I were beautiful. I would trade anything for it. All is vanity but vanity.

[Anonymous No.10135098]

I wish I was like Hamlet.

[Anonymous No.10135100]

It's funny that pornography addiction is the least sexy addiction.

[Anonymous No.10135103]

Getting really fucking tired of being sick.

[Anonymous No.10135105]

>>10135075
Why would you respond seriously to someone who you know is acting ironically?
Anyway, "to some" is an understatement. If the Bible is true, most people just die. Very, very few are resurrected, and fewer get to see the Kingdom of Heaven.
And if you want me to be honest, I think we should all be very glad that death is the end, to the point I sometimes think it's very suspicious that life and death seems so simple.

[Anonymous No.10135109]

For a brief moment, I could communicate. Words flowed freely in voice and in writing, but now, I recede, I return to my role as an antenna. A quit revolves around me, I cannot search the past or predict the future, I am trapped in the present. No waves to share.

[Anonymous No.10135115]

>>10135105
What I mean is it could be worse. For example, try to imagine if, instead of eternal slumber upon death, there was reincarnation upon death. Odds are you'd reincarnate as a third world subhuman for most of the times. You'd have to go through all of life's bullshittery for eternity.

[Anonymous No.10135134]

>>10135105
>Why would you respond seriously to someone who you know is acting ironically?
Because the comment was misrepresenting what it ironized.
>I think we should all be very glad that death is the end
[citation needed]

[Anonymous No.10135145]

If you assume the pro-choice position that the unborn either isn't human or isn't valuable then why is it wrong to force somebody to have an abortion? It seems analogous to forcing somebody to have their tonsils or a rotten tooth removed. They're both benign surgeries that parents might be able to force their child to undergo. The state may also be able to force somebody they deem mentally incompetent to undergo these procedures as well in an effort to preserve quality of life. I can't think of any reason abortion shouldn't be treated the same.

Can it really be "pro-choice" to say there's circumstance where it would be morally acceptable to force women to have abortions?

[Anonymous No.10135146]

>>10135134
>[citation needed]
Are you implying we should mourn that death is the end? For some people, maybe death is a bad thing. But I believe that life is just pointless suffering for the vast majority of humans.

If there is any justice in this world, it lies in the fact people who have it hard (most of them) know they don't have to live through this shit forever.

[Anonymous No.10135154]

>>10135115
But you view this as progression. This isn't progression, it's elusive life which serves its brief stints of time. The same as people who have worried over eternal reccurence, you forget this has happened equally as long as it will happen.

[Anonymous No.10135186]

>>10135051
>>10135054
Real talk here fellas. What literary archetype does Harold most closely resemble?

[Anonymous No.10135189]

>>10135186
Laertes

[Anonymous No.10135201]

>>10135103
Get well soon, anon!

[Anonymous No.10135209]

>>10134990
I like that picture. It's lonely. I like lonely. I am happy to be alone. The world is fluffy.

[Anonymous No.10135211]

>>10134990
I just want out
I’m tired of all the hassle that comes with life and the constant struggle that if I were to die I would have no complaints
I’m pushing myself down a path that I don’t even like and I can’t do the things I want because of my family
I don’t care if there’s an afterlife, a void, or a reancarnation cycle I just want to stop
But my body keeps soldering on, as if my instinct of survival and power are overriding my brain, as if I’m in a constant battle between anger and sadness

[Anonymous No.10135252]

Behind.
You feel disgusted and behind.
Brilliant streaks of color-
flash and absorb.
Listless, unnerved
You plunge into disdain.

Kids and gender,
Original sin, you're the sinner
You see your screens,
Black shirts and rainbow winners.
You scream-a reaction.
Reaction is futile.
Now a whirlpool of emotion.
You are wrong. They tell you you you
Are wrong to think and feel.
Your identity must be pulverized.
You see your nation, your nation hates you
Gorged on drugs and light and sex,
There is no more room for you.

MELTDOWN: YOUR PALPITATIONS RAPID
PrEpARE fOr WARR
The drum beats.
codes CODES
There is NO! no room for you.
Behind.

Listless or wrath?
Butterflies, orange and black.
Hallucinate or internet?
OVER THE RAINBOW.
YOU FEEL BUT DO NOT THINK
YOU HAVE BEEN LED ASTRAY,
inveigled, reaction engineered reaction.
You are behind. CORRUPTED FILES.
BEHIND!

[Anonymous No.10135286]

Life would be so much better if I were dumber. I've tried hitting my head with varying amounts of force but all I've won is a hospital bill. I am going to try oxygen deprivation next.

[Anonymous No.10135289]

>>10135145
The pro-choice position isn't that an embryo is neither human nor valuable, and if you weren't so blinded by your own ideology you might be able to approach the subject in good faith

[Anonymous No.10135291]

>>10135286
If you were actually smart you'd either use a gun, a bridge or a train track. Perhaps rather than being dumb, you are an attention whore.

[Anonymous No.10135294]

>>10134993

Awh man. I know that feeling all too well.

[Anonymous No.10135296]

>>10135252
esplain?

[Anonymous No.10135297]

>>10135291
I don't want to die, I just want to shed some IQ points.

[Anonymous No.10135299]

>>10134993
Are you me?

[Anonymous No.10135302]

>>10135297
Shoot yourself in the side of the head with a nail gun. You won't die, but you will become retarded, guaranteed. Problem solved.

[Anonymous No.10135306]

>>10135289

I don't see how anyone can object to my characterization of the pro-choice position. The unborn from the moment of conception is genetically distinct organism that belongs to the species homo sapiens. The only way to reconcile these biological facts with the belief that its okay to kill them is to hold the position that the unborn are not valuable, that they're not "fully human" or that they don't deserve the same equal rights as other humans for whatever reason.

[Anonymous No.10135308]

>>10135302
I'll try it next, I already bought the helium tank, so.

[Anonymous No.10135331]

>>10135308
They put a lot of chemicals in helium tanks nowadays to prevent suicide. Chemicals like sulfur which will make your survival instinct kick in, you'll have better luck trying to drown yourself in a sink. If becoming dumb is all you want, simply stop exercising - both body and brain -. And eat like you want to be morbidly obese. Eat nothing but pizza, burgers, hot dogs, ice cream and all kinds of colorful candies and other industrialized products you can find at grocery stores. Alcohol and drugs will also be strong allies.

[Anonymous No.10135337]

>>10135286
>>10135297
>>10135308
Stop trying to make yourself retarded and just go to a place where people are smarter than you

[Anonymous No.10135515]

The Universe arose from non-existence.
After death, there is non-existence.
Does that mean that .... ??

[Anonymous No.10135529]

>>10135515
our live are a blink in terms of the universe's existence
so we must make the most of our time and fear no failure as the sands of times will was away your sins and errors

[Anonymous No.10135540]

>>10135529
Not good enough. I want to thank the universe for giving me the opportunity to exist. I want to save the universe from the heat death. I want to revel in existence eternal.

[Anonymous No.10135557]

>>10135540
you can't (maybe)
human are just human, residents of a plan larger than we can comprehend. eventually we will explore it and humans will live even longer but we were born then, we were born now. We discover and create to leave the future with something to better life.
all you can hope for is reincarnation

[Anonymous No.10135622]

I am alone. My head has been numb for days, the gaping parasitic void that has been festering in the cold hollow core of my chest has been eating me from the inside for a long time. I can feel it. I am in great pain. It seems this is all I can feel at times. I am an unnecessary and redundant person.

[Anonymous No.10135662]

>>10135515
>this is your brain on atheism
"Arose out of non-existence" is complete nonsense. Nothing arises out of nothing. Nothing is not. You are essentially denying your own intelligence and reason itself, yet simultaneously you attempt to use it. This level of delusion is incredible to behold.
"Why is there something rather than nothing" is a much better question to ponder than the puddle-deep, fundamentally self-contradictory ideas you're occupied with.

[Anonymous No.10135671]

I feel the need to explore the depths of my mind with others, as a sport or an adventure, but every time I approach others even remotely, I am stunned by their inherent difference, and opt out to do something else instead.

[Anonymous No.10135683]

Why don't we all stop moping about and start taking the hits the world delivers to us with aptitude?

[Anonymous No.10135689]

>>10135683
cause i'm tired of getting hit
I do work out but depression is a bitch to live with especially when your on medication that you hate

[Anonymous No.10135795]

>>10135689
I'm in a similar situation. I view them as the toxin one needs to consume in order to progress through these times that necessitate chemical alteration to begin with.
>Nobody has ever lived in such good conditions! Mouse utopia forever!
Disgusting. However, this guy >>10135683 is completely right. I'm merely procrastinating. Self-hatred is a drug that helps with that.
It's a spiral similar to (or identical, even) hell.

[Anonymous No.10135797]

Die In-Group prügelt gegen Außenstehende, um ihre eigene Begrenzung spüren zu können.

[Anonymous No.10135810]

>>10134990
You ever look into the mirror and ahve the urge to punch that stupid, ugly, useless motherfucker. I wish I could live through childhood again and again, its better than knowing

[Anonymous No.10135814]

>>10135810
you should workout
at least you'll see your body progress as your mental state deteriorates from emotions and age

[Anonymous No.10135823]

>>10135797
And now with a translation:
The in-group is kicking against onlookers to sense their own limits.
Sadly, I don't think it can be translated well.

[Anonymous No.10135853]

I thought I've come to terms with my imminent suicide but I've been having some reservations recently. So, you put the gun against your head, pull the trigger, and then- what?

What does it feel like to become nothing?

[Anonymous No.10135861]

>>10135853
Why don't you check it out and report back

[Anonymous No.10135866]

>>10135853
back of the ear is most effective
but don't do it anon we must struggle

[Anonymous No.10135872]

I wanna become something different in the future, and I hope that the college I end up picking turns out to be good, life is confusing, and frustrating

[Anonymous No.10135873]

>>10135866
Not him but,
Imagine telling someone who is drowning That they must.

[Anonymous No.10135880]

>>10135873
you swim you don't just submit to the ocean
as a man with depression as well i'm telling you we must push forward

[Anonymous No.10135881]

A kid got raped in my high school 2 days ago, no one mentioned it in school, and I feel like the kids would get away with it. I heard that the kid tried to fight them off but he was only a freshman, and around 10 kids were watching it happen. If that shit ever happens to me then I'll end up killing myself at some point

[Anonymous No.10135888]

>>10135861
I just did. Wouldn't recomend it honestly.

[Anonymous No.10135889]

>>10135881
fuck did they catch who did it?
>befriend that guy man

[Anonymous No.10135900]

A man's world can be shaped into whatever a man desires. A man must simply take what is his.

[Anonymous No.10135903]

>>10135880
Why must we push forward my dear brother?

[Anonymous No.10135929]

>>10135903
Time will drag us if we won't. However, there is more to it. I have heard from a reliable source that there is a paradise waiting for us if we succeed this trial phase.

[Anonymous No.10135949]

>>10135903
because life has always been struggle
we must overcome all challenges as it is in our nature to prevail
if we gave up back when we felt sad or tired we would still be in the stone ages.
our history is a battle from birth to death, and once we are laid to rest may we relax. until that day we must improve both ourselves and the world around us

[Anonymous No.10135963]

If, after two months I don't become reasonably intelligent and stop being a moron who's incapable of comprehending what he reads in the first or second try, and has a terrible memory, as well as being prone to headaches from trying too hard to even reach a basic comprehension, I will end this supposed quest to become a philosopher then and there, and will find something else to do.

This is it, lads.

[Anonymous No.10136130]

>>10135683
It's hard to do anything when you're a malnourished, overworked piece of shit.

["Anonymous" No.10136399]

That fantasy fiction is stuck in its own tropes is a testament to the fact that its symbols are really not symbols that lead to eternal principles, simple metaphors, discardable in the modern era for new ones as Jung would think. The samurai and the cowboy, though they might be similar, can never be exactly the same in function or form. That it was required for one to change into the other when entering another culture again signifies there's a particular element that is taken out there. That "vestigial" elements in art remain, does not signify simply a form of conservatism, clinging or retrogress -- much to the contrary, it is typically the repressed, "decayed" elements that are usually recycled to form the "new" culture, which can adapt very easily because they are taken as mere symbols; rather, what it means is that these elements still function in our era, that, between a past and present time, there is *no* cleancut separation -- and therefore no possible return.

[Anonymous No.10136404]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9sEYl5WPe0

[Anonymous No.10136407]

I'm depressed as fuck and I've decided to become a daily masturbator and stuff myself with food all day to keep myself from comitting suicide. I know it's far from healthy but I don't see any way to give myself a somewhat positive experience while I try to sort myself out.

[Anonymous No.10136413]

>>10135963
>2 months.

Give it at least a year, 2 months is nothing.

[Anonymous No.10136420]

>>10136413
I mean from a point of view of accumulated knowledge you're right. But I mostly wanna see if my brain can get better, i think 2 months is enough to get it to something like it's normal potential.

[Anonymous No.10136428]

I hate it when I come across some really beautiful spot while hiking, or some cool vista of the city lit up at night, and I recognize how beautiful it is but I don't feel the accompanying sense of wonder that I think I'm supposed to. I just really want to be blown away by something until I'm shedding tears of joy

[Anonymous No.10136459]

There is no separation in my thoughts. I seem to go on and on about stuff that I've already resolved. I refuse to let go of things, emotion is a tricky pony. Maybe one day I will be able to finally rest again, let me mind flow.

[Anonymous No.10136461]

I hate wasting my youth on spending thousands of dollars to read textbooks all day. I regret deciding to go back to school. I could be hiking mountains in the Caucasus or sitting at a pub in Edinburgh with a pint in hand with some good company. Instead I'm sitting in my parent's basement studying hills and soil erosion. I should have never stopped traveling. I miss my old life. This university bullshit better pay off.

[Anonymous No.10136467]

>>10136459
That's a lovely painting.

[Anonymous No.10136472]

>>10136407
Why do self destructive things to make you happy? Get into a self fulfilling hobby like cycling or hiking.

[Anonymous No.10136493]

>>10136428
I feel like that elusive sense of wonder has been stifled by the sensory and information overload of the modern age, presently in ever increasing doses via the Internet. It will only get worse. Hooray for virtual reality and more potent ways of replacing the crisp starry skies with bright blue promises of a better everything. The cities are a dystopia of hypnotic subtlety.

[Anonymous No.10136501]

>>10136407
ye ye boi i feel ya masturbatio+internet+´junk food are a last man's hope

[Anonymous No.10136503]

>>10136493
Why would you want to escape into a virtual world instead of trying to improve the real one, and the people in it?

[Anonymous No.10136507]

Ever since that day I've been having a lot of abstractions. My concentration seems to dive in some kind of visual thought [each objective element represents and fully characterizes a whole subjective concept]. It was a scene of crepuscular sunbeams, while riding the bus to my home.
1) The Sky. Vast, the matrix of the landscape. The womb. The feminine, encompassing the other elements (its children).
2) The Clouds. Big masses of gas riding the sky, forever moving, forever forward. Were they ignorant of what they were causing? Were they aware of their movement? Did the Hills resent the clouds for allowing shadows and light?
3) The Sun. Perfectly. A circumference of yellow fire. Irradiating its presence to the unknown and the known.
4) The Light. The sunbeams, projections of the Sun. They are not the same than the Sun, but each one of them has the Sun inside itself. Yet they create something different -intrinsically bound and related to the Sun, yes, but radically different- they carry the Sun to the Hills. Sky and Clouds they go through, Hills they get to.
5) The Hills. The earth. They receive the light and the shadow (made by the Sun and the Clouds).
6) The Observer. Only from this window of the bus and this time of the day and this day I am able to see this. I'd like to be on the top of the tallest Hill. But then I wouldn't be able to see this. I'd see the Sky. No sunbeams and no Hills. I'd see Valleys and Wind and Grass.
It's still unclear to me what element I represent in this vision, and what element/s I'm supposed to thrive for. For now, I'm the Observer. I was the Light for a couple of minutes and the Sky immediately after that.
I feel I'm still missing one element (maybe a non-element), but that was what I could discern from this experience.
It looked something like pic related.

[Anonymous No.10136508]

>>10136503
I don't know, would I?

[Anonymous No.10136537]

>>10135016
You've never worked such a hard day in your life then, when nothing can stop you from desiring that sleep without dreams, that kind of sleep that when you wake up the next day you remember nothing and you feel refreshed. Your body desires a sleep without dreams when you've worked yourself to exhaustion.

You might want to say that God, or science can name what death is like, but only the experience of this sleep is a valid descriptor. It is pain that we go through to get there and the question of waking that brings the fear of being into non-being.

You're welcome. And now, please die.

[Anonymous No.10136934]

I had a realization today. I struggle to express to it.

[Anonymous No.10136944]

I've been having a recurring dream where somebody tells me that they're going to torture me until I tell them where someone or something is and I tell them that I'm just going to lie on every question and I've been ready to die for a long time and in fact I've been expecting to be tortured to death, been dreaming of it for years and years.

Now why can't I just get off my ass when I'm awake?

[Anonymous No.10136948]

I was supposed to spend all of tonight studying for an Econ exam tomorrow morning. I've instead found myself here again. Whoops, another failure added to my list.

[Anonymous No.10136957]

>>10135085
As an attractive person I must tell you it's really not that great. It's probably a bit better than being ugly. But when it comes to relationships and friendships with the opposite sex, you develop a mild paranoia of them either being with you because of how you look or just trying to get into your pants when you really need a friend. At least if and once, as an ugly person, you put yourself out there, you know without doubt people wholly enjoy your company for who you are. You're probably young.

[Anonymous No.10136978]

>>10136934
Do it anyway?

[Anonymous No.10136985]

I like to think that people are complex like in short stories, but out here it feels like humanity is romanticized.

[Anonymous No.10137021]

My roommate smokes weed all day watching tv. As his friend, it's kind of frustrating but also sad. I don't think he has any ambitions whatsoever.

At the same time, do I have any right to tell him how to live his life? It's not like I'm some fucking sage who has life figured out. I'm just doing my best to make my own way and pursue my own goals.

What do guys?

[Anonymous No.10137043]

Hitler did nothing wrong according to Nietzsche

[Anonymous No.10137058]

>>10137021
I have friend's like this, they figure it out on their own eventually. The best way I pushed my friends was to push myself, once you raise the bar they realize what they're doing wrong. Live by example.

[Anonymous No.10137070]

>>10135289

Then what is the pro-choice position?

[Anonymous No.10137106]

>>10134993
wow look you're a hypocrite and you don't even know it!

[Anonymous No.10137144]

>>10135063
you're confused about the meaning of "desirable"

[Anonymous No.10137153]

800 books on my exponentially growing to-read list, vast majority is nonfiction. And I'm barely reading anything.

[Anonymous No.10137154]

When I talk dirty to a girl over text I believe it must feel like them sexting a foreigner. Even when typing as fast as possible I still use proper grammar and I can't stop, why do I write

[Anonymous No.10137165]

I want fresh booktuber pussy

[Anonymous No.10137168]

>>10135109
Just keep going and you'll get some more eventually

[Anonymous No.10137171]

>>10137154
>When I talk dirty to a girl over text
do people actually do rhis ive never had gf or talked to girl

[Anonymous No.10137180]

>>10137171
Yes. I'm not shitposting: I'm doing it right now with this girl I literally just met and I'm a little nervous so it hit me that I'm texting as if I was writing. Now I just made the first move, I literally just got the reply but haven't checked, fingers crossed I didn't ruin it by sounding like Pajeet trying out his English pussy-licks

[Anonymous No.10137189]

>>10137180
She plays games so her reply is convoluted, let's see if I can keep this hand running

[Anonymous No.10137202]

>>10137189
I think I figured out her angle, this is gonna be fun

[Anonymous No.10137247]

>>10137144

How so?

[Anonymous No.10138390]

>tfw you masquerade as a anti-subjective nondualist to infiltrate the academy and convince them all to use your philosophical system but you're actually a husserlian phenomenologist non-dualist and the transcendental ego is integral to the system's functioning
>tfw at the last twist in the seductive path they'll all be forced to acknowledge the mystical significance of the transcendental unity of apperception

[Anonymous No.10138486]

>>10134990

I'm genuinely concerned we might be living in the early days of a cyberpunk canon of some sort in a simulation.

[Anonymous No.10138493]

>>10135085
i'm good looking and I can confirm life rocks. good looks are good luck.

[Anonymous No.10138749]

My mind is all over the fucking place. Jesus christ, I have so much energy which I think has to be from cutting back on porn and masturbation. Last week I'm a zombie and now it's like I have ADHD. What the fuck do I do with all of these things? I never thought I could be a writer because I never had much to say, but now with all of this crap floating around maybe I should start.

[Anonymous No.10138827]

The boy needed milk and a name.

[Anonymous No.10138830]

>>10138749
start working out. serious.

[Anonymous No.10139028]

>>10138830
that's already something i've done for years

[Anonymous No.10139104]

>>10137106
I just admitted to being a hypocrite you insufferable imbecile.

[Anonymous No.10139125]

I am a bad person and I deserve all that I will get.

[Anonymous No.10139144]

>>10138486
What gave it away?

[Anonymous No.10139488]

>>10137247
desirable literally meaning: "something that it is possible to desire" and desirable meaning "something that OUGHT to be desired"

big difference. I mean everything is technically desirable, very few things actually ought to be desired

[Anonymous No.10139566]

I want to go in an adventure.

However, I feel like my definition of adventure is stained by fiction. I don't feel like much of anything in the real world will fill me with much excitement or wonder.

[Anonymous No.10139583]

There are so many things to do in this life, I want to become a great violinist, I want to read much more about literature, philosophy and mathematics, I want to create good drawings, I want to learn several languages, I want to a great men.

But there's so little time for everything. For the past month my life has been quite productive, I completely surpassed procrastination. Everyday I wake up, go to college and when I come back I study about the math I learned today then study languages (french and russian), then I go to practice the violin and then I read something (L'homme qui Rit is what I'm currently reading), after that it's almost 20h and I'm really tired, there's barely anytime for philosophy or drawing. And I was even planning on starting to go to the gym to get some muscles, but I simply have no time. It's a little sad and depressing.

Some thoughts also crosses my head, that I should just focus on one or two activities and abandon the other completely, otherwise I'll never acquire great skill in all of them. But in the end I just keep doing all of them because I really like them all.

[Anonymous No.10139722]

>>10134990
I want to see a painting that gives me the same feeling this photo does.

["Anonymous" No.10139819]

If I say that death will be some other day,
and don't let it interrupt my joy,
then on my last bed I may say:
"Today I'm dying, not all along."

(Man, I suck at pottery.)

[Anonymous No.10139917]

>>10135949
>if we gave up back when we felt sad or tired we would still be in the stone ages.

that would be a good thing, not a bad one.

[Anonymous No.10139953]

>>10139819
It was final, until the final line.

[Anonymous No.10139962]

>>10135299
Bitch I might be

[Anonymous No.10140012]

>>10135098
Fat and out of shape? Most of us are there already.

[Anonymous No.10140015]

>>10135671
me too. though often it's disappointing, and just, I don't know, more of the same. you feel like you know where it's all going and what they're going to say next. sometimes it's not like that though, and it's nice.

>>10135622
i feel you. i'd be your friend if there was a chance of us meeting in real life.

also, to the people who posted but don't have any replies to their posts: I read all of your posts, and acknowledged the human behind them. you're nice people, and I wish we all could meet up and see each other instead of being alienated on the internet. but for what it's worth, reading your thoughts makes me feel less alone, makes me feel like I can actually relate to real people. thank you.

also, recommend me some humanist literature. something like what infinite jest is described as (makes you feel loved, and all the other things people say about it), except it actually has to deliver, unlike IJ.

[Anonymous No.10140050]

>>10134990

I don't matter as an individual. If I die it wouldn't matter and nobody would really care.

The true nature and meaning of my existence is for reality give me miscellaneous and seemingly unconnected pieces of experience, memory, information, and processes, and congeal them all into new forms. A true artist in this respect has no core, he has no egotistical need to "express himself". Art is not about "Self expression" it's about reality trying to concentrate all of it's ingredients through your soulless husk into interesting forms. So real people can enjoy them. Artists are not real people, we don't have any true values or opinions, no ideals, no hopes or wishes, at least not in the true sense of being apart of our being. If they are there they are merely just more ingredients to eat, digest, and regurgitate.

So artists really aren't important at all. We are more like farm chickens then anything else.

[Anonymous No.10140207]

I'm on the cusp of becoming who I've always wanted to be, but I have been here before. This is the point on the mountain that I have stood numerous times; I peer the peak, but I dare not to approach it. I don't think I can make this climb again. It hurts too much. My greatest fear is dying a failure, like the father who left me. My only option is to make my own worth, and the alternative is to become what has violated me; I would rather die to find only nothingness than live a life unaccomplished.

[Anonymous No.10140226]

>>10134990
I really don't understand this book

[Anonymous No.10140259]

sorrow must end that you may revenge

[Anonymous No.10140333]

>>10140259
wow edgy

[Anonymous No.10140360]

''I'm pretty hungry, got no money in my wallet anyways. Maybe if I go across the street to ivans his family would treat me to a go time. Maybe, just maybe.''

[Anonymous No.10140365]

>>10140360
>treat me to a go time

[Anonymous No.10140373]

>>10134990
How impractical is it EXACTLY to go total Kaczynski-mode and attempt to live off the land? I think it can be done, but for how long is the real question. Even Ted eventually resorted to doing odd jobs around rural Montana and (gulp) asking his parents for money. McCandless worked for a time in a McDonald's and of course died. Proenneke is probably the GOAT modern hermit, but he had a lifetime of carpentry, hunting, foraging, and mechanical skills plus a retirement income plus regular supplies from his bush pilot friend. And these are the success stories! What about that photographer who killed himself when he ran out of supplies. What about all the saps who didn't make it.

[Anonymous No.10140803]

>>10135100
you're right

[Anonymous No.10140808]

>>10135296
He might be talking about retarded libs who base all political thought on feeling and don't use any logical reasoning

[Anonymous No.10141007]

i got restless and took a walk in the woods by my house today. after hiking a good ways along a trail i hadn't explored before, i discovered a crude plywood bridge reaching across a creek. The structure immediately struck me because it seemed to serve no purpose. The bank that it extended to was hardly big enough to stand on; It sloped upward into a steep incline on both sides. So why build a bridge that doesn't lead anywhere?

i stood at the edge of my bank and looked across for a minute or so before deciding that i had to do it. No more than five steps and i was standing on the other side with nowhere to go but back the way i came.

I followed the trail back to my house feeling more unsettled than when i left. why build a bridge that doesn't lead anywhere? what compelled me to cross it?

[Anonymous No.10141009]

>>10140373
>What about that photographer who killed himself when he ran out of supplies
explain pls

[Anonymous No.10141159]

>>10140207
Are you me? Anon?

[Anonymous No.10141179]

>>10141009
carl mccunn

[Anonymous No.10141188]

I shall never secure a copy of this book for myself, it's simply impossible to acquire without unjustifiable expense!

[Anonymous No.10141207]

>>10140373
Just pull a Christopher Knight and steal stuff from people.

[Anonymous No.10141215]

Honest to god the best writing and strongest academic performance I'm capable of only manifests when I'm ripped on a mixture of adderall and desperation. People who can sit down at 2pm, just after a light lunch and peck out a little paragraph, then go on with their lives amaze me.

[Anonymous No.10141278]

>>10134990
I haven't had anything or anyone for a long time now. At first I waited, thinking life would get better, I'd meet a friend or circumstances would somehow shuffle things around in such a way that something would happen, and I'd feel alive again. Over the years I went through the stages: denial, anger, depression. I'm finally coming to acceptance. I'm calmer now. Mostly I think about what I'll eat next, or how I fart so much anymore. It must mean there's something wrong in my body. It smells so bad. But it doesn't matter really. Nothing does. And occasionally I'll think about how my parents, how they try to hide their disappointment when they're with me, and how occasionally they can't, and they let some tears slip out and it makes them feel bad knowing that I know that they're crying because my life is so sad. And they know that seeing the disappointment on their faces hurts me, and it makes them sadder still, like a mobius strip of sorrow, an ouroboros of despair. So they just stay away. Everyone just stays away. Doesn't much matter now. Looking back, there's nothing really to look back on. Never went anywhere or did anything. Just looked at images and imagined the places and things that other people experience; europe, women, philosophers I've never read, books I never will. A wasted life. And it doesn't matter to anyone, least of all myself. I finally have peace.

["Anonymous" No.10141285]

>>10140050
>Artists are not real people, we don't have any true values or opinions, no ideals, no hopes or wishes, at least not in the true sense of being apart of our being. If they are there they are merely just more ingredients to eat, digest, and regurgitate.
>So artists really aren't important at all.
That's the most spiritual thing I've heard today.

[Anonymous No.10141302]

I must not really care if I keep letting it all slip and worsen and implode. So why am I bothered?

["Anonymous" No.10141328]

>>10141302
It's not that you don't care, it's that you care about not caring, because just not caring would mean you could just care about what you care about, but you'd still be obliged to what you don't care about. So stop trying to be authentic about what you can't be authentic about. It's boring and bothersome. Yup. Either look for an alternative or stop putting up a front. The outside ain't that bad. It's just bland. It's that you're forced to make every second of your dumb life meaningful that makes you end up with all this "dragon of chaos" bullshit. No you're not going to die. Just EAT YOUR FUCKING SPINACH. Stop trying to put life into some dumb toy narrative.

[Anonymous No.10141499]

Sometimes I wonder if I work too hard/too much and that's why I'm sad and stressed or if I'm just weak. Or if we all work too hard/too much and that's why we're all sad and stressed, or if we're all weak.

I don't want to keep doing this for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous No.10141582]

>>10141499
Are you me?

I feel like I'm working so hard at accomplishing what I expect of myself and what others I assume to expect of me, but in a problematic sense. I've totally focused on my studies, volunteer stuff around school, and working when I was off school, that I consistently get great results (not by any extraordinary feat, just doing my homework/job). I feel like some days I don't wake up as myself per say but just an image of myself that goes about the day doing the tasks and being less conscious of my own identity. Working and pleasing people so much that it's made me start abandoning my own identity.

[Anonymous No.10141671]

>>10141582
and the paradox of it is that the harder you work the more you succeed and the higher people's expectations of you become
and then you find yourself in a position that you hate but that you're scared to leave and you have to be grateful because so many other people don't get that privilege
but all you want to do is quit and runaway and live in a shack on a mountain and be at peace

but you know you never will, youre too much of pussy

[Anonymous No.10142132]

>>10141671
>>10141582

just leave the universities and airports alone, okay?

[Anonymous No.10142153]

My life is just about perfect but I wish I wasn't so lazy.

[Anonymous No.10142232]

>>10139144

It's too many things, but the last straw was the equifax social security number fiasco inspiring talk about a new, secure form of identification for everyone. That's a SIN, chummer.

[Anonymous No.10142781]

>>10137180
>>10137180
>>10137189
>>10137202
Shut the fuck up.

[Anonymous No.10142835]

>>10135109
But you just sent out a wave, anon. Just keep slapping that 'post' button until you find something really important to say.

[Anonymous No.10142852]

>>10134990
i dreamt that i traveled by myself to brazil where i met some pretty local. i don't speak portuguese so i mostly spoke to her in broken spanish which she partly understood. but for the most part we just walked and sat in silence. i was happy. happier than i've ever been with my current girlfriend.

[Anonymous No.10142870]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAf uffjcufjfu fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc fukc fuck uf cufkc ufkc fuck f ck why am i being made a cuck by the girl i love the most i block out every other female in my life for her and in return i get fucking nothing fuck fuck fuck im basically her prey at this point i have never felt so vunerable in my life before her and all her fucking friends i am the laughing stock of her existance all becuase im too pussy to confont her why am i like this

[Anonymous No.10142922]

>>10142870
Stop being a pussy while you still can, otherwise you'll turn into a MGTOW faggot

[Anonymous No.10142958]

>>10142922
thanks man

[Anonymous No.10142991]

>>10142870
you have to be 18 to post here

[Anonymous No.10143273]

>>10134990
Do any of you ever feel like robots trying to be human? I'm not autistic, but years of being a shut-in have made even the most basic interactions a challenge. It's silly, but I can't figure out where to look, how to stand, what to say, and so on. Eye contact is no longer a problem, but I can't shake the feeling that I give off weird vibes to every person I come across, given their odd, dispirited reactions. Once, I read that Americans carry this bizarre trait of "acting out" their roles rather than simply fulfilling them, and that describes me to a tee.

How do I even describe it? The world doesn't connect properly now. I promise I'm not schizo - rationality still intact - but my senses are different. Even with my head in some activity, I'm not "connected" or "immersed" anymore. Just sort of floating. It's so weird.

I should stop thinking about this.

[Anonymous No.10143289]

My dream is to live in U.S.

[Anonymous No.10143365]

>>10143273
you're probably not doing what you want to do

[Drunk as fuck No.10143368]

I met a girl 2 weeks ago and she's disgusting. She looks great but she's a slut and every time she talks about her past I just want to stand up and walk away and never look back. She makes me realize that if I were a woman I'd be a slut, a cumdumpster free for use. I was content with my sexual life because I thought "Hey, I managed to fuck all those girls, I must be awesome," but if we reverse the roles I'm a slut.

Why lie, I'm not content, I want a meaningful relationship but I'm incapable to have one. I'm a selfish piece of shit, afraid of commitment but in desperate need of love and caring. All I've ever wanted was a woman I could consider my equal, someone I can wholeheartedly love but I just can't do it. I drink, I smoke, I go out too much, I have friends I never talk to unless I need someone to keep me company in a bar so I don't feel shame for drinking alone in my room for the 4th time that week. I don't believe in love at first sight, love needs time. But by the time I could love someone I either hurt them or I do something that makes me feel guilt. Let's say I date someone for a month before I take her home because I can respect her. In just one mont I do so much stupid shit that I can't help but lie to her. And the she starts caring, but I'm a fucking liar who's only gonna hurt her.

I have this ex, really cute, reads a lot, a poet, a precious little thing you want to protect from the second you see her. I've cheated on her. For so many weeks. Then I stopped, gave up my lifestyle as a whole for something that's compatible with a relationship. I was the perfect fucking boyfriend for months and I loved it and loved being loved and that someone truly cares and wants me to stop. I've been doing this for years and no one ever has told me to stop, and she did, and the way she looked, oh man. I was there for here, always, and I was just genuinely fucking happy that she exists. I loved her. And then she ended it because of her own mental problems which I've accepted. I've finally changed for the better and she ended it. And what does a depressed dumbshit do after a breakup? He drinks. And so I've been drinking since May.

You know what's worse? That I still deny loving her. Because I feel shame for loving someone so much.

The closest I came to telling someone was a month after the breakup. I was drinking with a friend and I let it all go: I told him everything, and man was it depressing. I'm the end I didn't tell him that I loved her, as much as I can ever love anyone, but I've learned something. After every sentence I said his response was something about himself. I was pouring my heart out and all he did was talk about himself and his problems also. And I realized, I'm fucking alone. We all are. No one cares. No one truly gives a shit. Not your girlfriend, not tot best friend, not your mother and father We're on our own. You think they do care, but they don't, it's misguided. They care for their own petty reasons.

[Anonymous No.10143375]

There is so little time, and I only have so much will with which to direct my actions through it.

I can't do everything I want to do - to read good books, waste time, build a career, make deep and fulfilling relationships; it's a Herculean task in and of itself.

Even simply trying to just tread in the socio-economic waters of status - just to not fall behind where I am implicitly expected to be, just to do that - requires a massive effort of will and time.

Many people I know chase status or monetary gain either out of Machiavellian motive, or simply because they, too, were brought up in competitive upper-middle-class/upper-class suburbs and cannot fathom action outside the framework of relative status to others, rather to one's prior self. Goldman Sachs, the Big Four - why? Why do they chase it?

In part, it's a rational, passive decision: "it opens doors"; "it will let me do what I want later on"; "I need the money". But it's also more basic, and even less inspiring than that, albeit unstated: "I want societal validation".

I want to forge my own path, make my own mistakes, and find my own ways to contribute value and hone my own craft outside of the hyper-rat-race logic. My fear is that my job title becomes my essence, my being, and my raison d'etre; that I hollow out into nothing but an economic agent floating around stochastically, like a protein in a cell.

/angst

[Anonymous No.10143385]

>>10143365
I was getting a bag of coffee. I love coffee. Going to the store to get some coffee shouldn't require any thought, yet here I am breaking it down bit by bit until I'm an anxious mess. Hell, I was on the bus a few months ago, and a girl began chatting to me, but I simply could not reciprocate. Not to say I'm deranged or a lost cause; I think a few years of concentrated social exposure would do the trick, but for now I can't be assed. Oh well.

[Anonymous No.10143386]

Mixed up like Levin.

[Anonymous No.10143428]

>>10143375
hmmm... having the will to knowledge in this world... the way i solved that for myself was to chose a career that has so much depth in itself, not a bureaucratic cog. (math) If you aren't mediocre and stupid (doesn't sound like it), you can forget the "OMG I cAnTz MAthZ OMG"... just study it for yourself and i slowly built up an enjoyment and interest... maybe it is too late for that for you

[Drunk as fuck No.10143438]

>>10143368

They have parental instincts, they don't want to lose a friend or a lover. They expect their own loss but don't feel for yours. No one cares about the pain that drives a man to suicide, they care about the pain his death caused to his environment.
It's all bullshit fake-understanding and telling each other that we care because we want to self-insert or because we're
Afraid to lose someone.

I have this girl friend of mine. You know what she said? That she'd rather see me suffer, even as a lowlife alcoholic, than dead. And that's fucking honest. She doesn't give a fuck about my reasons, she cares about having me over for a talk and sometimes drinks 2 times a week.

That's all I am to others. A coffee in the morning, a lunch, a conversation in the evening, a beer, a wild night out.

And most of the time I wouldn't care. I'm surrounded by beauty and culture and history in this city and I can write it all and my life should be amazing. But now I do. And I do every time I alone. A few weeks ago I organized a night out and I invited about 20 of my closest friends. Had a good time. I talked to each and every one of them and had fun and so on. Then I came home and I was alone in this room. I felt lonely, so lonely I cannot describe. As if I have no choice but to be lonely. I'm lonely in this lonely city and I look around and see nothing and I hear nothing and I have to close my eyes and wander away and listen to music to ignore the nothing. I am nothing and you're nothing and everything we do is noting. There is no point or meaning or permanent happiness, there's shallow caring and entertainment to distract from the nothingness. That's all there is, nothing and sadness and temporary joy in an uncaring world that forgets you the same way your friends forget 6 years after you're gone and buried or spilled into the wind.

There are the mighty ideas, love, God, ideologies of all kind, but do they matter, do they last? How do you know? Why do you believe? Don't you distract yourself by that? Is it not a "leap of faith" to reconcile? Then we're one and the same. I live like this to numb myself and you believe and act according to your idealism to do the same.

The thought that some truly, with their whole heart, with no condition can believe makes me sad. I know this young Christian woman and she has told me that life is simple if you believe. God has a plan, there's reason, there's a set of values to uphold and it all matters. It does sound simple and I feel envy when I think of it. I couldn't do that. Not because I'm too cool for religion or whatever, I just can't. I can't do it. It's a handicap I'll never live down.

I just want to fucking live like her. To genuinely say: there is love, it doesn't end, there's a point to suffering and there's joy to be found everywhere.

Instead I think there's beauty in life, shit or not. The starving man sits under the sun and the smell of leaves passes through his nose.

[Anonymous No.10143473]

>>10143428

aiming to a career in data analytics/science/etcetc for those reasons. I'm not particularly gifted at math (not going to publish any papers or do anything truly novel anytime soon..), but I'm good enough to get by. This field would allow me to still - in some respects - be a jack of all trades (communicating results with people, data viz is creative-ish, data is quantitative, not only a code monkey, story-telling is important etc). I also just got out of school so i reckon its not too late just yet.

thanks for your input internet stranger.

[Anonymous No.10143507]

>>10143438
>That's all I am to others. A coffee in the morning, a lunch, a conversation in the evening, a beer, a wild night out.
This hits close.
What are others to you? Do you consider yourself the same as everyone else? Equally selfish and non-caring?
Stop drinking. That shit is stupid.

[Drunk as fuck No.10143560]

>>10143507
The friends I've had for years are precious to me and I care about them. I showed them my world and made an effort to know theirs. They couldn't be replaced in my life. I'm not sure if this is mutual in their case. For some of them it's an easy yes, the rest, I'm not so sure.

The people I've met in the past few years are meaningless to me. It doesn't matter if it's Adam or Peter I go to the cinema with. It doesn't matter if I flirt with Sophie or Laura. I can't care about them because I know it's futile.
The only exception was that ex after I gave in and changed. That was nice. For a while. Then she became a person out of many, only she knows much more than I'm comfortable with. We gave each other everything and left with nothing. Futile, again.

[Anonymous No.10143636]

>>10143560
>The people I've met in the past few years are meaningless to me
This is from my point of view what made the breaking point.
The knowledge of the futile acts -the emptiness that everything is made of- is very powerful. Exactly because they are futile, each one of them is unique, as precious as your long lasting friends and as meaningless as they seem to you right now. But, will having a meaning make any difference whatsoever? I say no. Parents, best friends, lovers. All those concepts are collective yet each component they are made of is a "self" (or so we are deluded to think). Drop the delusion, drop the ignorance, become contemplative, mindful of every process. Live in the present and cultivate your path. Remembrance and concentration that is.
Today I laughed from the bottom of my heart. Something I haven't done in maybe 2 years. I cried of joy. Why? I believe it was because this things I tell you.

["Anonymous" No.10143751]

>>10143368
Why didn't you stay with her? Why did you leave her when she was sick?

[Anonymous No.10143765]

>>10143438
What if that void inside you can only be filled by God? What if that is its purpose?

[Anonymous No.10143898]

What are you but coiled maggots, consuming carcasses with contorted countenances? Your precious God has given you 80 miserable years to rot on this shitball which orbits a flickering light destined to extinguish. Just about enough time to see the light, that light being the indisputable nature of the darkness which fills the universe and your hearts. There is no ocean deeper than, no philosophy truer than, no court of law as just as my hatred for you. You may snigger at me. You may call me an edgelord. You may even realise the seriousness of my words and feel a primal, sobering fear. But you will NEVER understand what got me to this point or where exactly this point even is. It lies on no axis you operate according to the rules of. I am the spirit of the void.

[Anonymous No.10143928]

>>10143898
8/10

[Anonymous No.10143932]

Fuck the LSAT

[Anonymous No.10144142]

>>10134990

I'm going to fail my math class again and fuck up my GPA and ruin my chances of getting into the University that I need to transfer to.

[Anonymous No.10144152]

>>10143898

Why are you so angry?

[Anonymous No.10144153]

>>10134990
if i dont get married i will never have an incentive to 'improve' my life, but the idea of marriage is so foreign to me that im not willing to put in the work to meet women or make myself financially secure. i really just want to do the whole subsistence living thing but thats become virtually impossible. im eminently capable but have no hope in the future of my country, my race, my religion, or my love life. i don't give a fuck about myself but i'm also not going to spin my tires doing meaningless if not destructive volunteer work.

>>10135308
just eat soylent and start browsing reddit

[Anonymous No.10144155]

Constantly searching for the meaning of self. The self is never known, even your ownself. Only fractions seen in a dim light. The wind makes the leaves shift on the trees, flipping their pale green backsides to the sky until it stops.

[Anonymous No.10144175]

>>10144152
I'm a realist.

[Anonymous No.10144196]

>>10136507
noice

[Anonymous No.10144263]

I want to write a book so bad, but I lack self-motivation and confidence to roll any project out of the first couple of paragraphs.

I am told countless times that writing outlines is bad for creativity, however I can't quite grasp how an author can naturally doll out sentence after sentence and know precisely where the story is going to go, and it boggles my mind that many such writers were able to squeeze out flawed but still decent first drafts on a fucking typewriter.

I don't know if it's depression or if this mental roadblock is something all beginners go through, but I can't do anything without abandoning it because I either change my mind, don't know what comes next, or just feel like dying. I am also afraid everything I do is going to be pretentious because I am filled with so much anger and sadness, nothing is ok with the world.

I want to punch a wall. I feel like such a failure. I'm not good at anything. How the fuck do I break my mold? I have no guidance or true motivation, I am just going to die and none of it matters. Both my parents are going to die of alchoholism and homelessness, I am living with my grandparents, and I think the best way out of this miserable brain and generation is a shotgun to the forehead. It's the ultimate mystery to me how people get things done and feel content about anything. I'm not nihilistic but I was born to die, if I meet god on the other end I will ask him why the fuck did he give white people such mental anguish and inner suffering compared to other races. Why did he give me such shitty parents, a bad knee, the inability to complete anything I set out to do. I am a fucking beta-failure and I have been tossed to the wayside. There are so many conflicting personalities and outlooks inside of me all tugging at each other and I don't feel like a real person. I feel like I am already dead as it is so none of it matters. Im just a walking useless corpse.

Friday the 13th would be a pretty dope night to just end it all.

[Anonymous No.10144268]

>>10139583
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpXlCheiXY8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtC9oVyjyUY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzQTauydktA

[Anonymous No.10144297]

Once I reach my goal weight, I'm probably going to gain it all back.

[Anonymous No.10144306]

>>10144268
w2c cute asian violinist gf

[Anonymous No.10144329]

>>10143368
>You think they do care, but they don't, it's misguided. They care for their own petty reasons.
how would true care appear? many people have relationship issues. You cheated on this girl, then tried to be good, and then she left, and you are sad about this because... 'I did the right thing for once and it didnt go my way so this is proof doing the right thing will never work or is wrong,, or this is just proof that the world is out to get me'? Maybe you were fortunate to even spend an hour with her, maybe there is something incompatible about the two of you, maybe she truly did need time alone and couldnt handle a relationship, is true love true love if its only 100% unselfish, and does that mean cucks are the truest lovers?

[Anonymous No.10144355]

the jews, the jew. The jews? the jews.
Not ALL jews, but a LOT of Jews.
Not EVERY Jew, some are cool.

[Anonymous No.10144370]

>>10144175
try to smell the roses without getting pricked

[Anonymous No.10144373]

>>10143898
>But you will NEVER understand what got me to this point or where exactly this point even is
can you explain a bit about this, what are some things that got you to this point?

[Anonymous No.10144412]

>>10144263
if youre gonna write on computer, create a bunch of different text documents, and label them like "outline", "outline 2", "section 1", "section 2", "ideas", "quotes", "characters", etc. and then just write as much as you can, thats all there is to it.

'people say don't make an outline, but I dont know if I can or how others just write line after line, so I guess I will do neither...'? How about do both.

Dont lose hope, there are opportunities in the world, you just have to work for them.

everything is about dedication, worthy, justified, rewarded.

[Anonymous No.10144430]

>>10144306
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P86v-iDwDZ0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZddQfQxmHk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmUVCSyErzA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCY-JYryRSw

[Anonymous No.10144446]

>>10143932
the lsat is easy. why are you taking it?

[Anonymous No.10144502]

>>10144430
I feel more talentless than ever now.
I feel so sorry for them. Obviously incapable of even getting a glimpse of what they provoke on the audience; I hate them, that morbid audience, everything they represent; specially the ones that believe in catharsis.
The world disappears when on that stage of concentration. You fuse with everything around you, you float on an ocean of inspiration; the borders blur and the content diffuses through everything.
When you return is like sneezing, like that feeling in your chest after you take a deep breath or after you sigh, like puking. Back to reality.

[Anonymous No.10144521]

>>10144502
lol you're such a dweeb. try learning english before starting on french and russian.

[Anonymous No.10144532]

>>10144521
lol xDxD

[Anonymous No.10144604]

>>10144263

You should absolutely have an outline, that is, if you want your story to mean anything at all, rather than just be an aimless pointless stream of consciousness. The way to write a novel is to outline a number of 'scenarios' or scenes. Establish what you want to happen in that scene, what the meaning you want to convey is, THEN you start 'automatic writing'. What you produce might not fit perfectly, but you'll have something, something worthwhile and something to work off. This is the way I write at least.

Remember though, unless you're writing a philosophical treatise you still want your characters to be moving through time and space, so you do need events to happen, and events are a good place to start, even if its as simple as "protagonist goes to the grocery store and can't decide what to buy." Don't get too caught up in internal monologue at first, ground your story in time and place then fill in the gaps.

Also, don't be fooled, pre-computer writes wrote drafts before they typed them, usually by hand. Don't believe Kerouac when he said he wrote On the Road in 3 weeks or whatever. He spent 3 weeks at the typewriter, he already knew WHAT he was going to write beforehand.

Good luck anon

["Anonymous" No.10144624]

I wanna finish studying and go to sleep but that article about Ikuhara's influence on Nasu and the Buddhist thread are keeping me here fuck

[Anonymous No.10144640]

I'm deep in the maze, and I know that the door out is within reach. I don't know if I want to open it, though. I don't know if I should open it.

[Anonymous No.10144657]

>>10144624
Know you are not alone quoted anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-eHBUudkcY

[Anonymous No.10144662]

>met the qtiest jewish girl of mu life
>didn;t get her number
just fucking end it
seriously holy sht end my life

[Anonymous No.10144719]

A friend who I lent some books to took his own life. I don't think I'm getting them back

[Anonymous No.10144944]

while reading I often find my mind wandering to an imaginary audience of people whom i relate the information I just read to, and they are duly impressed. This happens way too often. Makes me question my own basis for reading. Am I reading just to be able to impress someone down the line? I don't even plan on having a social life.

[Anonymous No.10145529]

>>10144662
Your quest is now to find her again

[Anonymous No.10145857]

If life is a gift, then what is worthy of the life I have been gifted?

[Anonymous No.10145963]

>>10144624
>Ikuhara's influence on Nasu
an article about ikuhara? thanks for putting me onto it.

[Anonymous No.10146811]

nothing is on my mind per se, but there are some things in it, I think

[Anonymous No.10146814]

>>10144719
Demand them from his relatives or something, don't let that asshole get away with it.
Well, I suppose he got away with it already but w/e

[Anonymous No.10146913]

my fear of miscomprehending literature has made it so I haven't read anything for a while now. I was reading Blood Meridian, then looked up all the symbols and allusions I missed. I feel as if reading isn't enjoyable when I don't catch anything at all and I feel like a simpleton.

[Anonymous No.10146941]

Should I go dancing? It would make me miss sleep. Why do I want to go out? Is it social pressure, am I horny, do I like the high of the music?

[Anonymous No.10146984]

>>10144502
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2JHxWqVarc

[Anonymous No.10147472]

>>10136957
You're not attractive anon

[Anonymous No.10147484]

>>10137021
If he's happy, leave him to it: its life to live as he wishes. If he's not, leave him to it: you don't need that negativity in your life

[Anonymous No.10147488]

>>10137165
Relatable post

[Anonymous No.10147493]

i want george lucas to fund my surgery
the surgery of turning me into one of his squid people
that's my real motivation for living on the george lucas ranch
im not gonna directly tell him tho im just gonna drop subtle hints while he's around
like turn on the discovery channel when there's a squid special
or maybe play the squid special whenever he's in the room
and just say "Damn that squid looks really cool wink wink" with the wink wink part out loud

[Anonymous No.10147541]

Staying at a hotel currently, and it's weird how TV has changed. It's also sort of upsetting. Every show seems to be about sex, or race, or politics, and they'll take any opportunity to show nudity. I'm not a moralfag, but it's upsetting in some way. Whether that's due to the cheap methods of sustaining attention, or the copious porn, I don't know. Television's never produced much great art, though, so perhaps I shouldn't care.

["Anonymous" No.10147551]

4chan is the only place in the world where I feel I have a voice.

>>10145963
If you haven't found it yet:
https://wakameparadise.wordpress.com/2017/08/20/nasu-ikuhara/

["Anonymous" No.10147607]

What the hell is "fun" anyway? It doesn't seem so simple as a hedonistic value. It comes off as an excuse for anything. "I'm doing it because I find it fun." It's basically religious. You could fill a kindergarden with anthrax and so long as it's "fun" it'd be okay.

[Anonymous No.10148065]

>>10147607
>and so long as it's "fun" it'd be okay.
..says....?

[Anonymous No.10148094]

Every weekend is the last one that I allow myself to be pathetic. And then the next one comes...and the next...

[Anonymous No.10148117]

>>10134990
I just broke up with my first and only girlfriend. I have a female best friend that i feel likes me less and less as the months go on. I like to tell myself i don't care what people think. But i feel alone. I crave acceptance. I want a woman to desire me. I want friends that appreciate me. I'm self centered but don't want to admit it to myself.

I'm stuck in life. I have a week of time to decide if i want to go to university. I've been postponing the decision for weeks now. I don't know what future i want. I'm 21 and feel just as lost as i did four years ago. I want to be loved

[Anonymous No.10148123]

I just want someone beautiful to write poetry for. I have so much to give, but no opportunities to give it.

["Anonymous" No.10148148]

>>10148065
Says the zero common sense retorts my memory has for the fun argument.

[Anonymous No.10148169]

The day I realised suicide was an ideal option, I drove past a 21st birthday party held at an old bowls club. I thought it strange to hold a party there. The bowling greens had grown out from their finely manicured form and become knotted and unruly. I parked my car across the road and watched young girls giggle in groups as some men drank with fervour or attempted to. One man, a can of beer in one hand I saw stumbling through the weeds of the green. I thought of my own 21st and how that was one of the last times I saw a lot of my previous friends.

My friends now are all centralised. They come from the same place: work. I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing or a bad thing. But I know that I miss having friends the way that friends were when I was 10 or 15. I miss being part of a unit. I'm annoyed that the only time I feel happy is when i take my daily 32mg dose of Suboxone and now that I have taken it for nearly 3 years and what once was a strong opioid euphoria is now merely a dull lift in spirits, it is the only prompt for me to feel anything other than sadness. This is over-sentimental drivel but whatever, I just want to get it out there.

[Anonymous No.10148170]

>>10144412
>>10144604

thanks

[Anonymous No.10148418]

>>10148169
how much of your sadness could be from this drug you take?

you say its the highlight, the highpoint, thats the thing with drugs, and anything people get addicted to. Because it creates a greater distance from average feeling, a better feeling, so then everything else in comparison does not feel as good.

[Anonymous No.10148427]

I have the feeling of loneliness no matter who im with or how many dozens of "friends" i have. I always feel im alone. And recently i found this girl that i dont really even like, yet i cant stop thinking about her. Just because i have a feeling she likes me. she throws hints that i cant ignore. Im going insane i think. Ive also been getting the thought that everything that exsist is just my brain giving its self something to do and that nothing is real.

[Anonymous No.10148446]

Why do I exist at all?

This question once asked is a cartoon. But now.. I see that there is no answer. Why isn't there an answer? Is this not something that can be known?

Where would be the clue to finding the answer?

[Anonymous No.10148454]

>>10148446
Define existing. We could just be the thoughts of a different being. Or "being" is just an idea our brain creates to convince itsself to keep itself alive

[Anonymous No.10148494]

>>10148454
Somehow I will this sentence into being. Where does it come from? It could be better said - this sentence is willed into being. Again, why is this sentence willed? It is where 'I' resides. In will. I can lift my arm for a seemingly arbitrary reason. I can do nothing. I can fast and resist the impulse of my body. I can kill myself and resist the impulse to live. I can choose to obey impulse or ideas. I will. But what is willing? And in this world created at the right distance from the sun, which has life that supports this creature at this moment in the life of the galaxy, in this infinite universe. Why is there a creature right here that can will this sentence into existence?

[Anonymous No.10148532]

>>10134990
It's better to be drunk and miserable than sober and miserable.

[Anonymous No.10148557]

>>10148532
I wish I wasn't either of those right now

[Anonymous No.10148653]

This is almost too embarrassing to post even anonymously but I'm 21 years old and I just kissed a girl for the first time in my life and holy god all I want to do for the rest of my life is kiss qts

[Anonymous No.10148798]

>>10134990
Whenever I talk about myself there's someone better than me at anything I can do. Well maybe that's it. Maybe I am not supposed to live normally because I'm not a full human being. I am a failed product of a perfect system. The only fault in myself is being myself. Maybe this is why I can't just 'let go'. Maybe this is why whenever I try to sleep my guilt of being a bad egg doesn't let me sleep easily.

Every system needs a control, a point that defines other's position due to the relativity from it. Maybe I am the 0 Kelvin of the human scale. I may be important but nobody won't ever need me.

It's not like I've not tried but it feels like an invisible wall exists between me and everyone else. They laugh so freely they spend their time doing things that give them joy but even if I try entering their world I'm ignored. And how well do you think a lone person fares in a system that awards you on the basis of your social life.

Imagine a glass house all bright and elegant and amazing, with a beautiful garden and smiling portraits lining the walls. It's so bright and lively that you feel good just from knowing that it exists.
Now imagine someone throwing concrete at it.
That is me the concrete. I'm forced onto things, places but worst of all to people. They don't like it but they have to compromise. I am like a number to be shown off, "Yeah I know one person like that too, hah what a joke." That is me, a joke.

But there's good things about me too, I can easily be ignored, I can be let down often and I'll still be there. I can be used.

I'm nothing more than the plastic wrapper that is between a person lost in the desert and a fresh cold bottle of water.
And there's a purpose of the wrapper too, just no importance. That's me alright.

[Anonymous No.10149544]

>>10148653
this feeling fades fast, anon. go kiss qts as long as you'll enjoy it. soon it becomes just like any other thing in the world.

[Anonymous No.10149900]

I feel so distant from my friends. I used to speak to them regularly and we'd do things together more often, but my newfound love and dedication towards hobbies and work has pulled me away from them. I want to continue being a hard worker, but I don't want to drift away from others. What should I do?

[Anonymous No.10149920]

>>10149900
An hero

[Anonymous No.10150133]

>>10149900
Damn this is me. We used to have a great connection, but all they seem to do nowadays is get shitfaced in random bars. When I go drinking with them every once in a while, they all seem to have become so shallow and boring, only caring about the latest gossip and who they're gonna hook up with that night.

[Anonymous No.10150806]

>>10134990
Can someone please hold me and say that it is going to be all okay?

[Anonymous No.10150830]

If we hold Eternal Recurrence as a truth,which is fatalist and deterministic, then how will to power arise from a pre-configured existence.

[Anonymous No.10150934]

>>10147551
I found it, but thank you. Interesting read. Not sure if I agree even 2% with his interpretation of YKA, but it's always nice to hear what other people who love ikuhara draw from his work. I think he was dead-on when it came to characterizing Utena's fanbase:
>female viewers who likely share the same gender-related hardships, or the people who think “I want to create something, I want to express something”
The bit about the Sarin attack was pretty powerful too.

Agree on 4chan being the only place where I really have a voice.

[Anonymous No.10151007]

>>10142781
>he mad

[Anonymous No.10151021]

>>10143473
Exactly what i'm in and my thought process behind that choice. Really good opportunities in data/stats as well.

Good luck

[Anonymous No.10151040]

>>10150904
I assumed, correctly, that my interlocutor, due to his failure to reply to my post in French, spoke none. I strive for clarity in discourse. Elegance is well and good, but when unnecessary it only serves as a veil for ersatz insights; Beautiful is not synonymous with Byzantine.

>>10150899
>Tu est le bridge?
Is you bridge [the card game]? Please clarify.

[Anonymous No.10151088]

>>10148798
Everyone has their own life to worry about, you are young, you need to worry about developing your life so that in a year or 2 or 3 or 4 or 7 or 10 you can get all the things you want. What do you want most, it sounds like mostly you want friends, company, attention, love. So you havent gotten that all instantly and what you have gotten isnt good enough, as many other people might say. So maybe you havent found true friends or lover or company. That doesnt mean if you continue to work hard and true, improve you self in every way you can, that you wont be in the position to have the privilege of meeting and deserving even 1 friend.

Try to appreciate more the little things in life, you are letting your attention of a few things make large clouds over everything about your existence. You have an uncomfortable time dealing with others, that is understandable.

What do you expect, what do you want?

Why do you think you are not getting it? Coworkers, students, girls, family, family friends, all ignore you, and dont want to be friendly, and loving, and interested in you? Instead of being upset because everyone does not celebrate you, try starting with finding one person who can appreciate you (start with yourself) and then maybe you wont worry so much about all the others.

[Anonymous No.10151323]

>>10134990
I'm growing older and have no skills or hobbies I excel at. The internet has exposed me to a world of excellence where my mediocrity is inescapable.
Am I going to die an unremarkable chap? It's hard to argue with statistics.
>>10134993
How could you possibly react to the absence of space, time, and cognition?

[Anonymous No.10151787]

>>10150806
There, there, anon. Everything will be alright.

[Anonymous No.10151802]

Joseph Conrad's prose is the first I've ever cared about. Usually when someone compliments that aspect of writing, I feel it's a bit silly, but there's something magical about Conrad. It wraps you up in his perspective, and makes incredible observations with seemingly no effort. Those tangents in Heart of Darkness where he dives straight into the book's themes are divine. If I ever start writing, I hope I can capture that essence.

[Anonymous No.10151971]

mind is pretty blank right now. im sitting in my kitchen listening to age of consent by new order. i like this song.. i fuck with that gwen stefani song cool too, i never knew 3000 played keyboards on it- sounds like some teen coming of age movie. i used my birthday week pass to stay in my apartment for too long.. sit still and catch up on some information. i saw that movie 'glengarry glen ross and 'bottle rocket, 'pi, 'blackfish (sea world is the devil), 'this is the end (hahaha), 'the purge(baka), some funny horror movie i forgot the name of . my homie in aussie suggested that i read 'mr. norris changes trains.. the writing was really nice. i read 'the new jim crow it made me not fuck with humans for an hour. oh and 'diffficult men which talked about great tv ..dexter, the wire, the sopranos, breaking bad and whatnot. i didnt watch any news or read it figured all that shit was gonna happen either way. im back to work these days.

[Anonymous No.10151977]

>>10151802
when I read Heart of Darkness i was kinda lost and had no idea what he was saying. I'll get back to reading it again sometime. I felt really dumb last time I did

[Anonymous No.10152021]

It is all terrible.

[Anonymous No.10152029]

>>10151802
Why is it silly to compliment the only aspect of writing of any importance?

[Anonymous No.10152055]

wishing I could spend my life studying insightful literature to come a bit closer to an understanding of the world but at the same time knowing I am better predisposed to hard science and doing anything would never fulfill my potential

[Anonymous No.10152058]

>>10152055
anything else*

[Anonymous No.10152061]

I couldn't find anyone to buy my soul, so I licensed it under creative commons.

[Anonymous No.10152073]

>>10150806
define okay

[Anonymous No.10152097]

I don't know why, but I really like reading everyone's thoughts here.

[Anonymous No.10152116]

>>10134990
I want to destroy all life on Earth including all of the animals and insects so that I can concentrate on scientific research in peace and quiet.

[Anonymous No.10152191]

why cant I be a qt asian grill

[Anonymous No.10152212]

>>10140050
if you don't make art, you make yourself into a work of art. it's better to make art

[Anonymous No.10152218]

>>10141215
Imagine what you'd be capable of if you ever tried!
>>10141499
where do you work?
>>10141582
you probably feel this way because your work is meaningless desu

[Anonymous No.10152226]

>>10143385
It doesn't take years. A few weeks of intense social stuff would bring you back to reality.

I had the same thing--I was homeschooled for three years, and I totally forgot how to be a regular person. But it comes back soon enough.

[Anonymous No.10152291]

>>10135211

It's hard but escaping from the chains of outside forces that aren't yourself looks like your only hope. Dismiss your current life, worship death, get your things in order and leave for greener pastures.

[Anonymous No.10152319]

>>10151977
That was my first experience exactly. It might takes some worm, but eventually it clicks.
>>10152029
The prose? Because it's the icing on the cake, generally. The plot, themes, and message of a work are the true elements of substance, and style is the glue that holds them together. Good prose is pleasing, but not fundamental to the work's value.

After reading Heart of Darkness, though, that position makes less sense. The narrator's voice is equal in importance to the ideas themselves, so that a massive part of the takeaway lies in the subtleties of the speaker's sentences. A lesser author would fail to capture these things, making the book less impactful, and reducing its quality. Because of that, prose is essential. I suppose it's childish to have understood this so late, but I've never been affected much by prose before, so this is kind of a revelation.

[Anonymous No.10152372]

>>10151323
Retard.

[Anonymous No.10152394]

>>10139583
I can think of one other thing you do with your time.

[Anonymous No.10152438]

I'm mixing up a few dark n' stormy highballs right now. It's certainly dark and stormy as of late. I like rain. Not the light and drizzling variety; calming but subdued. I like it when the wind builds up a temper - smacking the trees around, roughing up the earth a bit. It shakes the foundation that we've built upon, messes with the worker's day...big globs plunking about everywhere, casting little misfortune abound...

I'm going to drink three or four before I go out tonight, and then i'm going to ride my bike around town. I do it occasionally. Most often i'm pedaling and whipping my way through the watery alleyways downtown, buffeted by windfury and drunkenness. It makes me feel wonderfully lost, and the haranguing by mother nature, I like that. I like the admonishment because I know it's all intended for care of self, which entitles the care itself. My grandaddy used to say I was very careless in this regard, but I took all the advice he gave me tentatively. He told me that there are three rules: don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal. Good ground rules for a 'Nam vet but I seem to forego them all these days. Sometimes I scream in the rain and wind, not to be heard, but to add my voice to the many confounding factors of life.

[Anonymous No.10152452]

why am I sad all the time
why do I sit in bed all day hoping time won't pass instead of trying to get a job
I need one soon because I'm a neet who is out of money about to be evicted but not even necessity seems to be able to spur me into action

[Anonymous No.10152468]

Loneliness is as much narcissism as it is alienation.

[Anonymous No.10152515]

>>10139583
Getting in shape isn't a huge time commitment, you can probably average 30 minutes a day and get good results. Eating more is the hard part, though I guess that takes up some time too.

[Anonymous No.10152579]

>>10134990
Waiting for my body to be consumed by the Hesperides' sempiternal golden orchards.

["Anonymous" No.10152597]

>>10150934
His comments on love really activated my almonds.

I think the reason love is such a difficult thing is that it's deiring precisely that which is outside our control. To be love it must be authentic emotion, born out of freedom. The enormous expectation that that means for anyone aside, it's mortifying for anyone wanting to be loved because any action (even seduction) taken towards the goal is counterproductive. Not only that, but to manipulate the object of love means to make it less unique; if you succeed, you're simply toying with what was once something that was completely outside of you. In that sense it explains why Ikuhara is so abstract. He might leave his viewers out cold, but they are more themselves for figuring it out on their own.

As for Utena: I watched it last year but I can't say it clicked with me then. I did enjoy it, but I couldn't grasp what was so unique about it. I guess I'm dimwitted like that.

[Anonymous No.10152608]

When I think about the power and sacrifice of Jesus Christ I become overwhelmed with emotion. It is something I keep to myself. I am not a Pentecostal, just your average every day Anglican, so we don't typically let our emotions out. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, but it's not something I can really talk about in the world anymore.

My Church is empty now. That is the case in most of the Church of England. There are no young faithful women to meet and everyone close to my age is already married. I am convinced I will be alone for the rest of my life. I'm still trying to understand why God has planned things this way. The loneliness teeters on unbearable after sunset.

That's all I got today folks. Nothing creative, just a confession.

[Anonymous No.10152612]

>>10134990
Life is meaningless, but I don't want to die, because, somehow I think it could get enjoyable and at least be worth it.

[Anonymous No.10152620]

>>10152468

I think that is actually somewhat profound.

["Anonymous" No.10152641]

>>10152468
>>10152620
Narcissism is alienation.

[Anonymous No.10152736]

A revolution is only called such if it succeeds. Otherwise it's just a rebellion, or an uprising.

Drink more water, offset the hangover. You need to be functioning for tonight to do the exact same thing you did last night.

Obligations were made, but the burn out is settling in, like sand at the bottom of a bathtub. Go read a book, or watch a movie, or something. You deserve it.

If you work like a slave, natural laws of karma dictate that you deserve to rest like a king. But the very nature of working like a slave forsakes rest. Why did you pick the nightshift?

[Anonymous No.10152795]

I hate what this website has done to my life and I have to leave before I start failing classes again. It could be that it's just my preferred method of escape, that if it weren't 4chan it'd be films or gaming or some other time sink. But I have to see what would happen. Now, I know that once I start posting I really get sucked in while I wait for replies. So, I'm requesting that a mod issue me a 60-day ban. Do not listen to whatever plea requests I may send, where I claim that I've recovered and that there's an interesting conversation I'll miss out on or something. Oh, and I go on other boards so it'll have to be a site-wide ban, if that's possible. Ok.

I'm six years old! I'm underage! Goo goo ga ga! I'm a reddit immigrant! Goo goo ga ga! Please ban me until winter break, which starts in around 60 days!

I hope you all have a good time without me.

[Anonymous No.10152801]

I want to write. I want to produce music. I want to draw. Lift weights. Dress well. Be comfortable. Feel okay.

Yet I sit doing none of that. I watch time fall by. Engaged in nothing but consumption. Chasing temporary and fleeting pleasures that have already been utilized by me so much they have lost any sort of surprise or true enjoyment.

Trapped by my own inaction and utterly aware of how pathetic that sounds.

[Anonymous No.10152867]

>>10152795
Am I banned yet?

[Anonymous No.10152891]

I'm feigning an interest in the arts and I don't know if that can even be considered conventionally "pretentious" considering I only do so out of a genuine desire to want to be interested. Maybe, probably, yes. But this is something that's pervaded my life since the very beginning and I've felt the same way with all the hobbies I've tried pursuing, whether it be sports, music or whatever else there is under the sun. I guess I just might have a low self-concept or something; my brother's the same way, always picking shit up, putting shit down, moving onto the next thing. But not once do we feel we've gained something from the things we've done. It's just an eternal quest to find something to fill the void. Nothing's ever there. Hence, here I am nowadays browsing 4chan for hours on end because I know there's no other mode of escapism for me.

I guess it's a similar sentiment to the person above me except I assume he's at least capable of consuming great art instead of just resigning to doing nothing all day.

[Anonymous No.10152918]

I feel nothing but a constant sense of emptiness. I don't laugh. I can't cry. I can hardly act. I've sat for a week 'thinking upon' things that need to be done. I could have done them in that time, handily. Instead I counted the clock while consumed by a constant subdued dread, from waking to sleeping I thought on the demands of life. They were all very possible, then. Now it is almost too late. And I cannot bring myself...to...act. I must act. It is the simplest of things asked of me. But I don't want to do them. Reason dictates their necessity.I see no reason for reason. Each new day, tomorrow falls upon me with weight of an ocean. My world is drowned but heaven heaps on tomorrows anew. But this is nothing new, I've spent my entire adult life this way. I've spent but bought nothing. Even now with the promise of total ruin on the wrong side of this expanse, of this deed, I cannot bring myself to do it. Do I have a will? I cannot conceive of it. My limbs are dead, they only obey instinct, they do only what they've done. I cannot master them to any cause.

There is warmth in mourning the impossible.

[Anonymous No.10152921]

>>10134990
D.A.B. O.N. E.M.

D.A.B. DESTROY ALL BLACKS

O.N. OPRESS NON-WHITES

E.M. ELIMINATE MINORITIES

[Anonymous No.10152925]

Lots of paralysis in this thread.

[Anonymous No.10152927]

I feel nothing but a constant sense of emptiness. I don't laugh. I can't cry. I can hardly act. I've sat for a week 'thinking upon' things that need to be done. I could have done them in that time, handily. Instead I counted the clock while consumed by a constant subdued dread, from waking to sleeping I thought on the demands of life. They were all very possible, then. Now it is almost too late. And I cannot bring myself...to...act. I must act. It is the simplest of things asked of me. But I don't want to do them. Reason dictates their necessity. I see no reason for reason. Each new day, tomorrow falls upon me with the weight of an ocean. My world is drowned but heaven heaps on tomorrows anew. But this is nothing new, I've spent my entire adult life this way. I've spent but bought nothing. Even now with the promise of total ruin on the wrong side of this expanse, of this deed, I cannot bring myself to do it. Do I have a will? I cannot conceive of it. My limbs are dead, they only obey instinct, they do only what they've done. I cannot master them to any cause.

There is warmth in mourning the impossible. I think I will tarry here just a little longer...

[Anonymous No.10152961]

>>10152925
how to stop being stopped?

[Anonymous No.10152977]

>>10152961
Start by getting yourself banned from this dreadful place like I am >>10152795. Any day now, mods!

[Anonymous No.10152988]

>>10152977
But it's so easy to circumvent bans.

[Anonymous No.10153002]

>>10152988
I don't know how to do that, aside from phone-posting, which I don't like.

[Anonymous No.10153004]

>>10152925
The Irish were write.

[Anonymous No.10153038]

>tfw have fantasies about mrdering somebody random and covering it up for the thrill of it and to feel powerful

[Anonymous No.10153083]

>>10152608
>I am convinced I will be alone for the rest of my life.
Plenty of single women in the world, maybe just not much right outside your door. Don't lose hope or have that attitude or that will only decrease your chances. Try to improve yourself so that when you do find means of meeting women you are worthy of being in a relationship.

[Anonymous No.10153094]

Just finished it earlier tonight

[Anonymous No.10153132]

>>10152795
just don't go to the webpage, man. you only have to defeat yourself.

[Anonymous No.10153145]

All poetry is pretentious.

[Anonymous No.10153150]

>>10153145
there's nothing wrong with being (a little) pretentious

[Anonymous No.10153186]

>>10153132
I've been in a very weak and undisciplined state for the past 20 months or so. Every night for the past week I've told myself that I won't come here at all the next day. Each morning after, I would compromise and give myself several minutes just to see if there are any interesting threads around. And of course, there's always at least one that I end up getting sucked into.

["Anonymous" No.10153340]

>>10152961
Contain your qi.
Don't be a jiangshi.
Spectators are spectres.
Rigidity is frigidity.
Frankenstein is Fascism.
Nofap beats mocap.
Don't be so Sirius Osiris.

[underage b& No.10153342]

>>10153186
I suppose I'm doomed then.

["Anonymous" No.10153360]

>>10153342
Boy, who isn't these days!

[underage b& No.10153365]

>>10153360
Lel.

[Anonymous No.10153389]

>>10152927
I put more effort into this post than the past 5 years of my college education.

[Anonymous No.10153672]

>>10152191
Where's that from?

[Anonymous No.10153760]

Writing poetry in college is an enormous waste of time. It's not good. It's not clever. It's a waste of paper. Writing workshops only jack off my ego. Nobody wants to tell me I suck. Somebody please tell me I suck.

[Anonymous No.10153763]

>>10134990
Writing is hard work, I'm two days into writing my novel and I'm only 3000 words in. Not even done with chapter one

[Anonymous No.10153822]

Recommend me some books about sex, so that I may at least read about it. I've been thinking about it for some reason lately, what's it like for other people, what it was in other times, etc.

Most of the stuff you read kind of glosses over it, or has a token sex scene of sorts, but not much else. I mean, I agree that it's the kind of thing you should do and not read about, but still. Maybe there are some amusing deconstructionist writings on the subject.

[Anonymous No.10153840]

>>10153822
see >>10152806

[Anonymous No.10154131]

>>10153672
stolen life

[Anonymous No.10154152]

>>10154131
That's pretty obscure. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.10154171]

>>10154152
I like chinese sixth generation a lot
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinema_of_China#The_Sixth_Generation
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinema_of_Taiwan#New_Taiwanese_Cinema.2C_1982.E2.80.931990

[Anonymous No.10154269]

>>10154171
I probably haven't seen any of that, I'm really only beginning to scratch the surface of Asian cinema. I have A Brighter Summer Day, Three Times, The Terrorizers and a couple of others downloaded, waiting to be watched

[Anonymous No.10154323]

>>10154269
I'm also just beginning to catch up with my backlog. You won't go wrong with Hou Hsiao-hsien.
Try some of Lou Ye and Xiaoshuai Wang too.

[Anonymous No.10154358]

>>10154323
And of course Wong Kar-wai. He got me into chinese cinema. I recommend you watch most of his filmography as he likes to release trilogies and has a characteristic way of continuing the themes through his works.

[Anonymous No.10154512]

>>10134990
I'm annoyed because faggot blade runner 2049 fans think that they know kafka now when they've read a few buzzfeed articles and wikipedia pages and spread the retarded false message about how br2049 is "kafkaesque" because the main protagonists name is "k"

basically i just hate it when great art goes mainstream and people pretend to know what they talk about without enough knowledge on said subject (they haven't actually bothered to read the book in question)

[Anonymous No.10154601]

>>10135051
I do this a lot when I'm really into a subject, but I have to keep correcting myself or look at it from another angle and factor it in. Eventually I'll hit the character limit and have to reformat, only to cut it down again and hit on new notes, until I'm not even responding to what the OP was talking about.

At that point I just tab out and try to forget about it. Sometimes I keep coming back, and at that stage I have to hide the thread.

[Anonymous No.10154917]

>>10154358
Yeah, I've seen Chungking Express and Fallen Angels from WKW so far and love them both. Thanks for the recs.

["Anonymous" No.10155102]

That was the deepest depression, yet closest to any liberation. The motherly embrace of death (at another time). The feeling that everything is trivial (therefore the inferrence, the icon of God).

Today doesn't feel like a day like any other.

>>10144263
You should use the methods that work for you unless you (on your own) see a problem with them.

>How the fuck do I break my mold?
Isn't the problem that you already are?