/lit/ - Literature

>>9301700

>>9301959
i know this is a satire, but the satire itself is fucking reddit

>>9301964
I've always thought the same thing about that cap

>>9301963

>>9301708
>tfw I made a typo and now it's recorded that way forever in this screenshot

>>9301971
Now you're going to have to point it out anon

>>9301971
>paied

/r/ing the "if the world was truly libertarian" one

>>9301976
>cracked the cases
end my life

>>9301946
this will never not be funny

>>9301979
Would be funnier if the thunderword explanation wasn't completely made up

Still, 9/10 I guffawed

>>9301964
>>9301967
>being on this low an irony level
>thinking the joke is the joke

I'm pretty much out, hope this is enough to keep the thread alive

>>9301993
I see this shit so much. They can't help but displaying stupidity

>>9302000
Thanks for correcting le record!

1/2

2/2

>>9302009
Kek

>>9302016
>>9302021
I can't laugh at this because too many of the things he calls memes are actual good advice. Fucking pseuds get off my board.

>>9302016
>>9302021
>I take memes seriously and can't handle bantz
Look I hate some of this stuff too at times but it's fucking useless whining about it instead of being a helpful and constructive member of the board

>>9302031
>>9302032
sure, but the post itself is so cringe that it's epic

>>9301995
That's what I've always heard. What is it really?

>>9302109
The word is used to describe Finnegan falling from his ladder and hitting the ground. It's the symbolic flash of doom, death, whatever. Of course Adam and Eve can be pulled from it, they're mentioned on the same page, but there's only a skeleton of the book that you can claim to objectively know as true

>>9301963
Is the joke in the oddity of writing down the fantasies explicitly?
Because otherwise, what he says is 100% accurate.
If I'd get back the hours looking at noticing random chicks on the streets, well knowing that I won't even interact with them... I complained about this even with chicks right after I fuck them. If you hadn't had sex for 4 days or so, you crave it the whole day and then you do it and after you gained nothing. After you have all bra sizes from A to E, and everything from fat to sporty chicks, you realize you'd gain nothing of "seducing" another girl and the sex wouldn't be anything more than eating a cake - good WHILE you do it but a waste of time after. But you crave if anyway, every few days, because you brain demands you to. Even if you had sex the day before, if you see something like pic related irl you're transfixed. I wish I could turn off this aspect of the male brain.

>>9302179
>If you hadn't had sex for 4 days or so, you crave it the whole day and then you do it and after you gained nothing.
Yeah this is what happens when you're a fucking disgusting slut, dumbass

Sex is fun but it isn't anything to cater your life towards. When I'm not in a relationship I don't actively seek sex out. I seek an emotional connection out. If you're going to be a pathetic sex gorilla allowing yourself to be distracted and consumed by the slightest possibility or suggestion of fucking, what a fucking surprise! You end up spiraling out of control and ending up 40 with crabs, herpes, and children you'll never get to meet on three continents

Learn some self control, you pathetic fucking drain

>>9302211
sorry for not being enlightened yet, you cunt

>>9302260
Please continue to spread disease so that my tax dollar can pay for the treatments

>>9302263
get laid once first please, btw i wish we could cut that string in our brain for a while. let the human specie die

>>9302550
Buddy, I have sex like four times a week. I'm in a relationship. I've had one night stands with friends before and hate them

>>9302228
Fucking kek this one gets me every time

>>9302005
Holy shit that's my post. I am honored.

>>9301969
somehow this made me kek

also whoever posted that joke about the guy who gets three wishes and makes his arms rotate in opposite directions a while ago thank-you, my friend who likes shaggy dog jokes thought it was amazing and now tells it to everyone

>>9301979
Finnegans Wake part killed me. 10/10 Anon good job.

i need more laffs

sure here

>>9303423
there's actually a subreddit for this stuff
>>>/r/thathappened
you belong there, not here.

>>9303423
It's a rare but beautiful sight, the 4chan story post that is both funny and in good spirit

>>9303427
Do you run into stand up comedy clubs and scream at the comedian for making shit up too? I am going to shove my thumb so far up your ass I knock a tooth loose.

>>9303427
We know it's fake, it's still funny

>>9303427
>(you) belong there, not here.
I'm not that OP, just a fellow screenshotter.

Requesting >That's why you read Plato

>>9301708
Hang on. I know this is /lit/, but do people here still not know about Inspect Element?
as in pic related

>>9303458
Anon... he was the hero they needed

>>9303427
wait, you're saying the professor DIDNT roll around on his desk like a turtle on his back??

>>9303458
Inspect element? What am I a fucking chemist?

>>9302016
>>9302021
Oh I see what this is. It's just another butt hurt, salty Marxist who got his poor little fee-fees hurt and decided to make a long, drawn out post to bitch and moan at the whole board.

>>9303423
proof or it didn't happen

>>9301963
EPIC

>>9301987
Why am i laughing at this? This is not supposed to be funny.

>>9301979
>left the store with artemis fowl

jesus christ

>>9304149
This guy really ought to read some Sartre or Kierkegaard

>>9301708
>tfw you made it in the cap

>>9301963
That man is really going his own way right now

>>9301704
>Pretentious Anguish by Ernest Milton

I love that

>>9301979
I wish I could write shitposts like this

>>9301979
so beautiful

>>9301996
it's reddit on every single level is what we're saying

>>9302179
>tfw haven't had sex in 20 years

>>9304870
>tfw 26 years old

>>9302031
>Bantz
nothing more cancerous exists in the universe than this shit

>>9304894
baby needs a band aid on his bottom

>>9303423
First time I've experienced contagious laughter from a 4chan post.

>>9301708
>tfw you didn't make it in the screencap

>>9303361
Could u repeat this joke pls?

>>9301969

I've said it before and I'll say it again but this is a good point. Literally the only reason we think certain foods are breakfast foods is because of marketing.

The fact that either no one cares or no one realises is just astonishing to me.

>>9305942
Fuck off cereal shill

>>9305946

If you are American and want to eat pure sugar then kill yourself.

>>9303361
>also whoever posted that joke about the guy who gets three wishes and makes his arms rotate in opposite directions a while ago thank-you, my friend who likes shaggy dog jokes thought it was amazing and now tells it to everyone
There are so many retarded people in the world.

>>9305942
Are you trolling? Are you retarded? I can't tell. It's something everyone works through when they're eight years old.

>>9305986

It's really not though considering restaurants and shit still offer purely breakfast foods during an earlier time. It's still ingrained in people's mind that certain foods are breakfast foods.

>>9305713
One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.

Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I fucked up."

>>9304149
Babies first camus reading

>>9303423
Fucking thank you anon. Been looking for this for ages. That last Woo always gets me.

>>9305671
same, what the fuck

Where's the guy that references the characters in his unpublished novel?

>>9306633
Oh you're really pulling one Gregory Berrycone there, buddy, haha

Does anyone have the mother's pancakes one?

It was BRAAAAP level humor, but very well written.

>>9306104
Fuck that made me chuckle for an hour on end.
Got any more jokes like that?

>>9306710
It's a combination of a shaggy dog and an anti joke. I can't really tell you another one since it works by subverting your expectations.

>>9306686
Who is Gregory Berrycone?

>>9306833
Oh, he's just a minor character in my unpublished absurdist novel, he woke up one day with a misterious plastic knob on the back of his head.

>>9303427
Fucking Redditor, find a noose.

>>9305978
nofunallowed.jpg

are you the same memer who complained that it was "burger humor" in the original thread?

>>9301963
>>9302179
God. Why are you men so pathetic?

This entire site has made me lose all respect of men and your """authority""". Now I just see you as the submissives you biologically inherently are. Wage slaves? You're all pussy slaves.

>>9303431
>>9304927
>>9306585
:') oh no, all of you, please, I am but a humble memer

>>9306695

>>9306710
Two archers are marching through a field.

They are on their way to what they'be been told is their next battle site. They stop to eat lunch and the first archer sees a small fly resting on his quiver.
"We don't usually get flies at this elevation, huh. Guess this guy is living the solo life."
They finish lunch and carry on.
In four miles, around ten thousand flies traveling in a dense and horrible cloud burst forth from a nearby cluster of trees. A vicious and awful entity, the swarm makes a violent buzzing noise. That sound alone could haunt a man for the rest of his days.
The swarm speeds for the archers and they panic, splitting up and sprinting away. The swarm tails the first archer, and eventually catches up to him. He is knocked down by the force of ten thousand flies landing against his back. Screaming, he feels his quiver being lifted off his back by the tiny bodies. Guided by the uncoordinated herd, the quiver tips mid air, spilling arrows all across the ground.
The swarm latches on to one arrow and carries it off, back to the forest. Dazed and scared, the archer lays on the ground. The second archer approaches him. "Get up, boy."
"What were those things?"
"We call em Time Flies."
"How do I know they aren't coming back?"
"They took your arrow; they're done with you. Time Flies like an arrow."
"Oh"
The second archer bends down, unbuckles his pants, and sticks his thumb in the first archer's mouth, while straddling him.
"I'm going to enjoy this."

>>9308213
great one

>>9307368
yes ma'am

>>9306009
Or because it became a tradition to have eggs and milk and shit early in the morning because you got them fresh from cows and chickens

better to be a pussy slave than have measurably less neural connectivity and be mediocre at every craft

by the way, fucking a hot one of you feels fantastic. i'm sad you'll never know that feel. at best you'll be the off-night girl for some drunk chad

>>9308290
meant for >>9307368

>>9306863
this nigga got roasted hard

>>9308217
I don't get it.

>>9306863
fucking rude

>>9308290
>fucking a hot one of you feels fantastic. i'm sad you'll never know that feel.
Are you implying you're fucking hot girls, anon? Cute.
Furthermore, are you implying the male climax comes near the pure ecstasy of female multiple, squirting, scream-inducing orgasms? Cute.