/lit/ - Literature

>>9244778
ah yes the good old days of two weeks ago. the board was better then. classic.

I'm a huge Orson Welles

>>9244778
obligatory

>>9244788
I have another

>>9244799
holy kek

>>9244778
the definitive flowchart

>>9244778
I choose to interpret this thread literally

>>9244788
>last week was two weeks ago

>>9244816
>voting

>>9244778

>>9244864
this is pretty fuckin white

>>9244864
I physically cringed.

>>9244864
i hate this

>>9244977
haha, that's fucking great

>>9244778

>>9244801
This is sad. Can someone re-upload her videos? Some of you myst have saved them.

>>9244994
Horribly true. I've read through a few dozen of my female peer's papers, and every time they pick a topic related to women. If no such topic exists, they will mention it in class or force it into a vague topic. No exceptions.

If it's a guy buy obviously gay, he'll do something also related to sex or homosexuality.

>>9244969
Is this true? All I have to do is kidnap a girl and she'll be my wife?

>>9244801
I wish i could see her videos again

>>9244934
What's that even mean?

>>9244799
its been too long

>>9245042
That's what she said

>>9244864
>daddy Nabokov

>>9244969
>mfw I'll never be on enough layers of irony to write a justification to pedophilia punctuated with a fucking spongebob reference

>>9245094
lol I just got the spongebob reference

I can barely remember what this image was but bear with me

Does anybody have the image in which some anon is remarking about the writing styles of different authors and says something like "reading proust is like walking into your college roommate's room and it's noon and he's already drunk"?

Can someone please post the pasta about the guy who makes literary references to his own unpublished work?
That's the funniest thing I think I've read on here.

hol up, lemme check the archives for my old posts

A classic

>>9245404
nvm found it, must've just been in some thread rather than an actual image

>>/lit/thread/S8325715#p8326347

>>9244994
>>9245018
I've had some female professors that were as autistic as some men are about their focuses, though. I had one with a Ph.D in anthro who was just fucking obsessed with castles, it was supposed to be a medieval history class but all she did was talk about the architecture of castles and what this said about the builders' ideas of warfare and religion. It was quite interesting, but I had to learn all the other history on my own. She now works for Wizards of the Coast, having eschewed tenure.

>>9244788
Top notch

Where's the one of the guy who posted himself sleeping in a bathtub after he had told the plot of Ulysses to some girl

>>9245498
I need to know more about this

>>9245516
The jist of it was he was really drunk at a party and a girl from hs was trying to fuck be he couldn't stop describing the entire plot of Ulysses to her and he eventually passed out in a bathtub and the whole party had laughed at him and the girl still wanted to fuck :-(

>>9245620
it's true, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

>>9245630
This image unironically changed my life

>>9244801
>the pic that brought reddit flooding over
yeah no thanks

Only OC I've got. It's not epic, I just saved it because it gives me a sensible chuckle. I haven't been on lit in over six months, this thread makes me miss y'all.

>>9245806
>tfw have no real life interpersonal relations worth anything
>Tfw anonymous shitposters who don't actually read and are all in the same boat are my only source of joy left

>>9244864

None of these have ever been funny.

pretty good thread

I am surprised

>>9245866
Can't relate

I like to think I'm smart and have high aspirations but really I just enjoy shitposting

Unrelated note can y'all send me some "gl"s? My cat is in the hospital. Will post cat if requested

>>9245900
wtf are gls?

sorry about your cat man

>>9245900
here's to cheer you up

>>9244811
>ending with dianetics

F A T A L I T Y

>>9245905
Gls are good lucks

Here's Heathcliff at Christmas

He's a good boy

I named him after my favorite character in literature

>>9245917
that's a beautiful picture and a beautiful cat anon
i wish it goes well

>>9245722
I feel the same about the autistic manslut

>>9245921
God bless you

>>9245418
This is my favourite so far

>>9245452
so....does anyone know any books like that picture?

>>9246018
something something georges bataille

>>9244816
this top triggers me so much

like how the fuck you could EVER put ANYTHING by a fucking mccarthy above(not to mention 15 places) in search of the lost time, for example

also lolita is clearly the single most overrated book on this board

>>9245630
I fucking died

>>9245866
fuck's sake

>>9246074
>lolita is clearly the single most overrated book on this board
kill yourself pleb

>>9246074
>lolita is most overrated
>board that praises DFW and Pinecone
kys yourself retard

>>9245051
hahah best of lit right here

>>9245900
Good Luck friend, it'll all go well

>>9245934
You have hot legs. Post more pics please.

Also hope your cat gets better.

>>9244994
Some of those are alright. I mean I personally don't give a fuck about gender and shit, but I see why people would want to study
>Prostitution and Gender in Antebellum Calcutta
or
>Opinions about Women having Sex in Weimar Newspapers

The only issue is a lot of these (I mean IRL) are pointedly political, which is stupid. There's no point getting political about history, except in the Foucault sense.

>>9245900
get well soon, cade

>>9245546
relatable

>>9244864
The Wittgenstein one made me kek'd tbqh.

>>9245900
>>9245917
good luck, with a name like that I'm sure he'll pull through

have a picture of my cat

>>9246515
that is also a really nice cat, lil' fluffball

on a completely relevant and serious note, does anyone else also get anxiety from lurking threads in which pet pictures (especially cats) are posted? i feel i need to tell everyone their cat is nice or it will be sad. every cat deserves to be called cute. and all cats ARE cute so it's really difficult.

pls doctor help me

>>9246515
that is a cute kitty anon

>>9246048
cheesy

but its where you want to be maeng

anything else is bust

>>9244858
>>9244858
I fucking love this board

>>9246533
>>9246537
thank you, she's one of the reasons I love coming back home

>>9244864
first i laughed. then i realized how stoopid it was

>>9244828
How has no one responded to this yet? It's a fucking masterpiece.

>that perec post
>baneposting in french with no "e" just for the meme

>>9245866
too fucking close to home

>>9246567

Can't be real. Right?

who has the bloom flight to lucifer one?

Heathcliff says hello and thank you for the good luck

He hasn't stopped purring since he came home

>>9246909
Is heathcliff /ourcat/?

>>9246909
he's adorable, looks like a little fox

>>9246941
yes

all hail heathcliff

>>9244934
sure, it's about literature, you fucking moron

>>9244858
>advertising the board on an image that inevitably will get on to reddit

>>9245422
I would also be interested in reading this.

>>9247111
>>9245422
it was posted: >>9244810

>>9246567
I refuse to believe this.

>>9245738
How? Im interested.

>>9246909
gl heathcliff

>>9245900
Sunnybear and I wish you and your cat well.

>>9245900
>search for it on warosu
>don't find it but find this >>/lit/thread/S1092833
any oldfag that wants to explain this?

>>9247438
Warosu has been down a couple times, so certain periods weren't archived.

>>9247468
no I meant if someone could explain that thread

>>9247478
What do you mean? None of the context is obscure, Franzen, Oprah, Simpsons, television hypocrisy, etc.
If you're surprised to see that sort of thread in 2010, I don't know what to tell you. Shitposting is not a recent phenomenon.

>>9246567
Pharaoh is fucking sick

>>9244864
make more this is fuckin epic

>>9245900
Scone zone?
That doesn't even rhyme

Heathcliff told me to tell y'all "meow"

:3

>>9247723
Such a rubbable belly.

:3

>>9247677
for you

>>9244828
Brilliant

>>9247723
>rubbing cats bellies
>having hands

>>9247833
It's so painfully obvious why people on this site are alone.

>>9244994
Tampons, pads and ironclads made me lose it

>>9247723
cute :3

>>9244835
this is what autism should be

>>9247833
This was clearly written by a nonSTEM major

>>9247876
That's true for maths. Every chick had a thermo cup in undergrad.

>>9247337
I used to be way too tightly wound all the time and it was quite a stressful. Now I just fuck around as "plebeian anon" and see it as entertainment for "patrician anon." It's actually helped my grades and lovelife a ton hehe

>>9247855
it's so painfully obvious you are female.

>>9247855
Please post feet

>>9247855
post your feet, babygirl

>>9247855
marry me oh my goooooodddd

>>9247855
Doubles get to post tits

>>9247889
>>9247897
>>9247952
>>9247962
>>9247967
I'm a gay dude, but sure.

>>9247982
Let's see em

>>9247833
I don't think this is really a strong analysis.

For starters, the sugared up frappa-jappa nonsense that those girls order is completely different from cafeteria coffee.
And in addition to that, they could be addicted to the sugar and not know it and therefore think that Starbucks is just way better than other coffee (which is an intentional corporate strategy that Starbucks and others employ).

Also, I don't think any of them are attempting to express legitimacy by walking around with a coffee. I think it's just trendy. It gets you attention, it shows you're with it, it's part of the culture.

>>9247994
:3

>>9248003
T. Hick

>>9244801
RIP

>>9247886
>when you get a small glimpse into the infinity of human experience and want to punch yourself because you're the nearest representative of humanity

>>9245630
>twix
>not a snickers bar with knife and fork

>>9244811
has anybody got the one with snookis autobiography on it

>>9248142
You didn't see the episode at the car dealership where the mechanic stole George's twix? plen

>>9248142
>not deep fried mars bar with a spork

>>9246909
its me im cathy ive come home

>>9246909
He's good news

>>9245900
GL catto

Ah, the dying gasp of a decadent culture being reminisced upon like the last flicker of a candle's flame before it is utterly extinguished.

This board is shit since having been shit up by retarded /pol/esmokers that can't argue worth a shit, parrot what they read from other retards, and don't even research into anything they feebly attack.

>>9249119
>/pol/esmokers

I've met my share of actual literature readers in person, and they seemed like intelligent people. It made me question why /lit/ was so close minded to different beliefs other than literal Marxism. Now we can have actual diverse discussions whilst moving on towards objective truth and knowledge.

>>9249176

Propaganda and outright biased lies are now objective truth and knowledge? Holy... i want moar...

>>9244778

>>9246927
Ok, this one got me.

>>9244816
Where John Dos Passos?

>>9249119
You sound like a fucking retard when you modify attack with feebly. Stop talking like that.

>>9245934
You have hot legs. Post more pics please.

Good luck with your cat too.

>>9247417
Pretty cat!

>>9244801
I would rather strangle 20 geishas than have this girl go through the slightest amount of pain

>>9244858
>Does this sweet cane make of you an Abel?
Love this line. True pottery.

>>9245068
This is what /lit/ is actually like, but this isn't funny.

>>9245567
Beautiful! A brother!

>>9244778
Saw this the other day

>>9244778
I remember some autistic /fit/fag was here on /lit/ asking about anna karenina translations. He found an error present in every translation:

>The dumbbells Levin starts swinging are 36lbs. A very strange weight. But in Russia 1pood is 16kg and 16kg is 36lbs. Well, dumbells aren't made in that weight but kettlebells are, and they are also made to be swung. Levin is swinging kettlebells.

I've never seen /fit/ and /lit/ autism mesh so well together before

>>9244816
>Jerusalem
>published sept 2016
>29th place according to /lit/

if you ever need proof that /lit/ doesn't read...

>>9246927

This is the first time /lit/ has made me literally laugh out loud in months. Thank you.

>>9249451
Thank you.

>>9249633

>>9249639
Not mine

>>9244801
>you will never marry Katie
fuck it i'm out

>>9249619
Christ, that's me.

Reposting this from an old thread:

I like to slowly unveil my power level with the staff just to keep them in check

>"Are you looking for anything?"
>"Yes, please show me where you keep your Wallace"
>"Wallace? like David FOSTER Wallace? Whoa, cool, I thought you were gonna ask for that Steve Jobs biography or something. Yeah man, Infinite Jest's right over here.
>She hands me a copy of Infinite Jest
>her: "So you like Wallace huh, yeah me too, have you read Brief --"
>I hold up a single open hand while she is speaking, immediately silencing her, then turn to a random page in the book
>I smile quietly to myself as I read the entire page, occasionally snorting cryptically
>After finishing the page I close the book and hand it back to her, still smiling
>Me: "He's terrible, isn't he? Absolutely awful. Put that book back and please show me your Joyce"
>She puts back Infinite Jest with an alarmed look on her face, then takes me to the Joyce section of the librairie
>Her: "Joyce? Yeah I read part of Dubliners in my 400-level community college English class. Do you, uh, d-do you think he's good--"
>"Read this"
>I have shoved Finnegans Wake under her nose
>"Out loud"
>her: "ba...babba......bababadgharf....bababagargrfap--
>I rip the book out of her hands and stare directly into her eyes
>me: "Completely wrong, it's bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoor-denenthurnuk. bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoor-denenthurnuk is portmanteau of various thunder-related words from languages all across the globe; in this context it represents Eve's tragic fall to Satan and the subsequent collapse of Eden. It is perhaps the single most important, emotive, and creative word ever spoken in the entire history of human speech, literally transcending language, and you cannot even read it."
>I throw Finnegans Wake in her face and inform the store manager that he has hired an illiterate
>I leave the store with a copy of Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception under my coat, unpaid for

>>9247073
it's already on facebook

>>9249594
... just remember that they can't conceive of a book being read in a month.

>>9249770
Bravo

>>9245900
gl cat

I hope that cat gets put down

>>9249770
>Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception
kek

>>9245498
>>9245546
>>9245516
>>9246362

Search no more, brothers, for the image I have it here, and the context you've already figured out by yourselves.

And I'm a filthy phoneposter, desu

>>9249938
>skipping leg day

>>9246022
More of these pls

>>9244778
I'm not the only one who uses Photon, fuck yeah

mmmm

>>9245546
how do you even describe the plot of ulysses?
"...and then Stephen goes to the library and proves with calculus that the ghost in Hamlet is actually the father of Shakespeare himself."
"Anon, are you sure you don't want to go upstairs to somewhere quieter?"
"Yeah wait just a second. So then Bloom goes to get a drink at the Ormund Hotel and you'll never guess who's there."
"..."
"BLAZES BOYLAN!"

>>9245921
I've been looking for this picture for literally over 2 years now. I can finally die in peace.

>>9250078
>Tetris Tips
only one funny thing about that image, and it's your pathetic life

>>9244811
>Reading the Bible, and Aeneid in preparation for Dante, but not the works of Augustine, and Aquinas.
Nice try.

>>9248594
Pic related.

>>9244801
you guys are fucking disgusting and need to be beheaded. this is why all 4chan men are fucking pure shit. the most rotten shit on earth. and none of you realize it because you're so far up your own moldy ass.

>>9250452
she deserved it, stupid normie

>>9250179
ty dude

>>9249938
that bathroom is disgusting

>>9244801
The best part about this pic is the inevitable rage that lit anons express in response to it.

She was a plebby booktuber with plebby tastes. lit was unnecessarily rude and arguably cruel, but nothing of value was lost.

>>9244994
>"Who rapes me more by having existed"

kekd

>>9245934
cute catto anon
post more

>>9249770
audible keks

>>9246137
I remember this guy! He was replying to me. I wonder if he's read Nietzsche by now.

>>9247833
I got coffee almost every day studying physics. Does that mean I'm gay? Does anyone want to be my boyfriend?

>>9250708
Post multiple pictures of your orifices first

>>9244994
>asking
why

>>9250778
ok it wasnt that fucking funny lol

>>9250452
Fuck off normalfag.

>>9250778
Link to the thread?

>>9250783
Stare at a wall with a blank expression and count out thirty seconds. When you're finished, try and speak that line with DFW's soft voice. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time

>>9250791
>>9249737

>>9250078
>no cropping
>wiki page bookmarked
>unfunny greentext

poor showing Jeremiah

meanwhile on

>>>/fa/12319389

>>9248706
okay i'm retarded but what is this one about

>>9250874
spooky

>>9244778
I took a creative nonfiction course with David Foster Wallace at Ponoma back in '94. We weren't allowed to show anyone our essays outside of the class for some reason. He seemed naturally intelligent, didnt need to look at any notes or textbooks or prepare for any lectures, he just knew his stuff and was super casual.

I saw him talking to a girl on campus one day. He uncharacteristically wore a Fila sweatsuit, the kind that looks like it's made from the same material as parachutes, and trainer sneakers with a matching bandana. That was his pussy hunt outfit apparently. Several times a week, same outfit, I'd see him hitting on women in it. I once saw him wearing it while carrying an identical outfit from the dry cleaners, he had like 4 sets of same Fila sweatsuit.

I asked him about it in class and he said we aren't allowed to discuss anything unrelated to class while inside class, the same way we can't show anyone outside of class our essays. A student called out "but Dostoevsky isn't in this class and last week you talked about replicating his black tea obsession to test its affects on your own writing". Wallace stared blankly at the student with dead eyes for 30 seconds in dead silence then said "you just got knocked down a full letter grade. Any other smart asses? Didn't think so." and pushed up his glasses with his index finger.

I remember telling myself this guy will either be super successful or kill himself.

>>9250777
checked

>>9250874
Truly the worst board.

>>9245900
GL, cat-sama

>>9250452
kill yourself cunt

>>9250992
pretty neat story

>>9245900

>>9245094
>layers of irony

you haven't seen how bare serious discussions here go reddit

>>9245866
haha ow

>>9245866
>tfw this could have been me
>almost went for a history degree
>did chemistry instead
Got jebs lined up after graduation, could do grad school if I felt like it. Could also start my own business. Still read literature in spare time.

>>9244778
>my thread is still going
w e w
don't you autsits have anything better to do?

>>9251408
Ungrateful little shit

>>9250777
Thomas?

>>9244778

>best of /lit/
>not as much as a single fucking picture of literary analysis or discussion
>exclusively pseudoerudite memes

The color that most aptly could be used to describe me at this juncture would be characterized as unsurprised.

>>9251426
>/lit/
>discussion
>analysis

>>9251414
Bite me.

But slowly, on my neck, just below the ear. Gently caress my shoulder and run your fingertips over my bare biceps while your other hand is deep in the forest of my thick hair.

>>9251416
Ryan?

Is that you?

>>9250833
critically underrated m8

>>9247833
or they could just... like coffee?

>>9247855
length of hair?

>>9251444
that was so gay i have to take a shower

>>9249938
it's one of the most amazing marketing feats i can think off that an adult male can show himself in the street in the new balance sneakers, it was normalized in, like, 8 years, and goes against anything before that

>>9246567

>"I only play Pharaoh (1999)"

I have no idea why but this is the more funny then the original post.

>>9244806
underrated

>>9244810
Laughed out loud with this one.

>>9249246
>>9249601

And Germans are the ones who have a bad sense of humor...

>>9244828
First and last good cap ITT

>>9250914
It's about Nabokov, who had synesthesia. So in the greentext he describes playing an instrument like it's painting, but he is actually talking about writing (the symphony about child-fucking is Lolita, obviously).

>>9251161
>>9250874
Holy maccaroni jsut realized they want thin folks not muscle chads.

They are the fashion board and not about guys starring and feeling other men's biceps and glutes.

Skeletor feels better

>>9250914
Nladimir Vabokov

>>9250777
>CIA uses spycraft to ensure that the New England Patriots win the Superbowl
am Atlantan, can confirm ;_;
>tfw used this picture to troll deflatriot fans on /sp/ before the game
>tfw been maintaining radio silence since

>>9249938
>pic of me posted online

I finally made it mom

>>9251679
This

>>9250090
Lmao that's more or less how it went. She kept grabbing my hand and putting it on her thigh but whiskey-me was like "WAIT Do you even understand the relevance of this part???"

Best part is I haven't even actually read Ulysses, I wasn't just peddling the plot points I read in threads on /lit/.

I swear I recited the entire last sentence about the Andalusian girls from memory

>>9252579
You are my hero, you glorious madman

>>9252694
Ty, have another of that night

Idk if you can make out the vomit but I was lying in vomit

Somehow I feel Joyce was smiling upon me

>>9245546
what a loser.

"A crash, a crash" said Billy Hood
"A crash can just mean nothing good"

Was it perhaps the Wallabeast,
Flapping jacks like mother's feast?
Flipping, flapping, this way, that,
It sure does flap some tasty jacks,

"That's not it" said Billy Hood
"Flapjacks taste good, at least they should"
"And like I said" said Billy Hood,
"A crash can just mean nothing good"

Maybe it's the Doptanog,
Adopting dogs out from this bog,
Beagles, pugs, a Yorkie-poo,
A cute golden retriever, too,

"That's not it either" shouted Hood,
"Those dogs looked good from where I stood"
"And like I said" said Billy Hood,
"A crash can just mean nothing good"

And then it came, a crash so loud,
From a symbol on its crown,
Great and hairy like a bear,
Symbols crashing everywhere,

Symbols out from underarms,
A one-man band with crashing charm,
Symbols, symbols, everywhere,
Crashing just too loud to bear,

"There it is" said Billy Hood,
"There it is, the Nuthingud!"
"I waited for its music show"
And as it was he sat down so,

And then they came from all around,
Billy's friends that he did found,
The Wallabeast and Doptanog,
Bringing flapjacks and the dogs,

"This is great" said Billy Good,
"Let's all hear the Nuthingud"
"Friends together, as they should"
"A crash sometimes means something good"

>>9252579
>Best part is I haven't even actually read Ulysses, I wasn't just peddling the plot points I read in threads on /lit/
lad...............

>>9250452
marry me you whore i love you

>>9249674
>you will never pump a full load down her angelic throat

why live

>>9244828

I made a video for the shakespeare bane
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sum5NVztIo

>>9252955
B+ for effort

>>9244811
>Dianetics
I'm dying.

>>9249938
That looks like a friend of mine.

>>9246018
I was thinking the exact same thing.

>>9253122
What's her name

This was 10 posts in to a thread about a guy needing a book to buy his 6 year old niece for Christmas

>>9250452

4chan culture is built on that type of thing so I'm not surprised but I'd be pretty confident in saying that the people who participated in it were those who come here to feel smart by proxy, not because they actually read.

>>9253197
It's not that at all. It's 100% bored 20-something in college with a ton a down time who shitpost for entertainment. Anyone who isn't is a vast outlier

>>9253210
Nah.

>>9253217
Yes it is

>>9253177
You should have captured the OP with this reply then.

>>9253210

>It's 100% bored 20-something in college with a ton a down time who shitpost for entertainment.

On /lit/ or 4chan as a whole?

>>9253269
You'are mom

>>9251667
those are adidas stan smith

>>9250452
post tits, bby ;)

>>9253274
Duuuude.

>>9253383
>>9253274
Pls explain I am a dumb

>>9247833
This hurts mu STEMmy (Engineering) little heart.
>TFW no sleep
>TFW no downtime

>>9253274
That's very Hegelian desu.

>>9251536
Dear lord

Johnny, is that you there, Johoney?

>>9248730
Hey man that was me

I cried laughing when I first read this

>>9253685

kek, I started that thread. Had some good responses

Anyone have that autistic John Green passage that's rewritten in the style of some different authors? There were some hilarious ones in there

>>9253274
so many upboats...

Another favorite

>>9253685
fucking didn't pick it up until halfway through

>>9249803

It got 17 votes. I doubt 17 people bought and read it within a month.

>>9253451
Nothing to explain. It's stoner logic.

General humor allowed?

>>9254020
No one on 4chan would find this funny or strange. Fuck off.

>>9254038
What's your skype let's talk this out

This thread has gone to shitter

Also I don't understand how you're all posting caps when you could just link the archive for /lit/

>>9254051
No one here has the patience to read anything

>>9254051
you're really dumb :/
sorry about that

>>9245613
>prepare to be deconstructed

every fucking time

>>9245013
DFW one is great

>>9249623
The soma bit at the end doesn't make sense at all

>>9244801
I'm tired of seeing this posted and /lit/ acting like it's some kind of grave sacrilege against their waifu projection.

>>9251101
Kekekek

>>9246074
>Getting butthurt about McCarthy, the greatest living writer.
>Not getting butthurt about DFW being on the list, period.

>>9253998
>we must imagine Camus greentexting

>>9249495
Shakespeare one is pretty funny desu

>>9244778
Remember the old days of BrownBear (and other trips collaborating) to make the greatest flash fictions.

I miss the old trips of yonder years.

thank god this thread's hit its limit and we can be free from it

>>9244828
Ayyyy

I made the BEA post

>>9255298
the trips are why i stayed away from this board for years until they left

>>9244801
That's actually fucked up.

I hope Katie found peace on earth.

>>9253210
>20-something.
>not 14 yo

>>9245452
he's not wrong tho

>>9244828

Top tier OC, seriously phenomenal stuff.

>>9250777
You fucker, my dearly obtained conspiracy theories are not grist for your meme mill. Have some respect.