/lit/ - Literature

Post the one you already have.

>writes harry potter fanfic
>calls his readers harry potterfags

requesting something on luna.

show us what you have so far

I'm trying to think about his because I'm a potterfag and maybe that will make me better at this...how bout noone has sex, everyone dies?

Hermione should use Engorgio on her tits.

Then have her act like a massive bimbo, completely OOC and abandoning books for flings with all the most attractive, studly students.

>>884094
THIS
also Fred and George rape Ron for some reason and not played for wincest, but for cruel and disturbing imagery.

I don't want to post or people can tip off the people at fanfiction.net. It has to seem like I really wanted the story to go a certain way.


I like the idea of everyone dieing in a pointless way. That always pisses people off. What else?

>A Potterfag desperately tries to convince himself he is better than others of his kind

Rip a page out of the playbook of Harry Potter and the Leapord-Walk-up-to Dragon.

http://www.11points.com/Books/11_Amazing_Fake_%27Harry_Potter%27_Books_Written_In_China

There was a hobbit, who didn't even know how to return home. He lived in a hole in the ground, and didn't know where he came from or where he was going to. He even didn't know why he had become a hobbit. This was Hogwartz School of Witchcraft and Wizardry 5th year apprentice Harry Potter.
...
After Gandolf left, the five of them rode their brooms, travelling with the wind. Trees and cars along the roads below receded. Only when they encountered the occasional passenger jet, the pilot and passengers would cry out, "Hey! Flying people!", or "Hey! Aliens!"

>>884094
totally not want.

>>884100
>>884098

Then, Ron becomes emo as fuck from losing Hermione and being raped.

So he offs himself.

HILARIOUS

>>884098
What if Fred is raping Hermione and Ron happens to walk in the room? Then Fred and George rape Ron for some reason that makes no sense.

Requesting wincest with ALL OF DA WEASLEYS.

>>884098
no, no fucking no, that would only please the fangirls

Kill everyone, starting with the most popular character. Spare no detail with their gruesome deaths, visit rotten dot com for inspiration.

Voldemort wins at the end, and Hogwarts is renamed to "Voldemort's School of the Fourth Reich"

I don't know what else would piss off the fanbrats. Maybe make Harry a vampire reminiscent of Twilight?

>>884109
hahah oh yes. This fanfic should be mostly about rape and all the characters deciding that they really want to fit in and work out and be jocks and preps and also luna gets put on antipsychotic drugs.

Mpreg OP, mpreg. Fred gets pregnant with George's baby due to fact he accidentally drinks a fertility potion before they have sex. Hermione throws him a baby shower in the room of requirement, which has turned into a hip Sex and The City style lounge.

Have Hagrid fuck a dragon, and not as a throwaway gag either. Turn it into a central point of the plot, and do it completely straight-faced.

>>884117
Voldemort's School For Kids Who Want to Learn to Read Books About The Dark Arts Good And Do Other Stuff Good Too

>>884121
yes, and have the other characters pretend like it's perfectly normal since he has an odd fixation on magical creatures.

Harry starts hating mudbloods and joins forces with voldemort. Dumbledore is bludgeoned by Hagrid and now has the mind of a child and has to wear diapers.

>>884121

Dude, this.

But I have an even better idea.

Luna...TURNS INTO A DRAGON. And becomes a huge slut. The story will revolve around her adventures being Hagrid's draconic cock-whore.

>>884119
>and also luna gets put on antipsychotic drugs.

If this happens, make her have a nearly-fatal overdose, then have her go through withdrawal. Rip off Trainspotting at every turn while doing this, and be obvious about it.

include a chapter where nothing happens but Harry eats lunch, all alone. Describe his wizard sandwich, his wizard tea, and how it makes him so depressed because it reminds him about sad things, like dying kittens.

You'd be surprised how often people actually write stuff like that.

Diaperdore confirmed for win

ALSO IT WAS ALL A DREAM

>>884149
end literally every chapter with this

also, link?

>>884141

I don't know whether to be horrified or impressed by this.

>>884141
Luna...TURNS INTO A DRAGON.

very yes

i'll pretend you didn't write the rest

don't do it in a enoby darkness raven sort of way, make it SERIOUS or you'll give away your intention

all the characters are black and proud!

>>884163

No, that would be awesome, not rage-inducing.

>>884134
>Dumbledore is bludgeoned by Hagrid and now has the mind of a child and has to wear diapers.

/lit is beautiful

>>884163
and have long passages describing how huge the black dicks are.

>>884141

Change it from Luna to Neville, but also throw in gender-bending by having him transform into a female dragon. Include descriptions of Neville exploring the wonders of his new scaly vagina. He could end up masturbating with a tree or something.

>>884168
for the average fan of Harry potter? god I'm thinking it would be awesome now. Thanks again Arcueid.

Use big words to capture and baffle them. Don't even use them in the correct context, just through shit in there.

>>884160
>>884151

OP YOU NEED TO DO THIS NOW

MAKE LUNA TRANSFORM INTO A DRAGON.

DO IT, FAGET.

>>884163
This would be the greatest

Everyone is inexplicably a Black Panther (it is CRUCIAL that no explanation is given) . Hermione has a huge fro and she's real preachy.

>>884173
jesus christ, this is too brilliant!

>>884173

Oh god this

THIS A THOUSAND TIMES

>>884173
>He could end up masturbating with a tree or something.

Make it the Womping Willow.

>>884194

NO WAIT

MAKE THE WHOMPING WILLOW INTO A GIANT TREE-GIRL WITH A HUGE WOODEN DICK THAT SPURTS SAP

HAVE IT FUCK NEVILLE IN HIS DRAGON FORM

Pick two fairly similar characters. Have one of them in the scene, and suddenly start using the other character's name. Switch back and forth several times.
>>884149
And this.

this thread made me literally ROFL

>>884202

ITT: James Joyce

>>884216
Harry writes a letter to Professor Umbridge and it's basically joyce to nora. Also umbridge is harry's dominatrix (am i thinking of the right professor, guys? it's been a couple years)

>>884117

YES. FUCK YES. THIS

>>884202

Nah, just leave it as the regular Whomping Willow, but at the end of the story as female Neville-dragon orgasms he suddenly transforms back, so now Neville has a branch up his ass that's swinging him around wildly. End with some kind of horrible pun about Neville's Longbottom.

>>884171

Lmfao

>>884134

THIS

>>884225
hahahah fucking awesome! have scenes later where neville inexplicably farts up copious amounts of blood.

>>884218
With that suggestion I don't think there's a wrong suggestion

>>884234
you're right. make it snape. or sirius black!

Have Beato show up and do some trollan.

Nazi wizards. I know thats what the 'death eaters' were, but this time make it literal. They lived in a subdimension in hiding, and have returned to use the dark arts to restore the Aryan race.

Also, Hitler is a wizard and still lives.

This thread is like when you and your best friend are playing video games and suddenly he starts sucking your dick and you cum in his mouth and then somehow you guys start fucking in the ass and then you say 'no homo' and it's not gay because balls were not touching.

>>884251

Speaking from personal experience, huh?

>>884250
Or just have a literal concentration camp scene w/ the death eaters. Make the Death Eater / Nazi comparison explicit and just go all out, Holocaust memoir style.

>>884257
it's /lit/ what do you think

OP if you don't fucking write this I will come to where you live and slap all 9001 dicks out of your mouth. And then I will write it.

>>884251

Too many specifics, you gay.

Everything that happened previously was a dream of Harry's. He is actually a normal English boy who was driven insane because he was raped by the headmaster of his school- a man by the name of Dumbledore. In order to cope with the rape he invented a fantasy world to escape to. Here is the important part: Conclude with him bashing the fantasy world and the people that inhabit it in ways that actually criticize the book themselves. At the very end have Harry laugh and say he won't be making a living as a novelist anytime soon.

Introduce a villain who is like Gargamel from The Smurfs. He keeps trying to expose the wizarding world to the public but his plans are ruined by general shenanigans from Harry and company.

>>884265
this. most excellent.

>>884259
>>884250

These

>>884266
It would be better if some of his plans were also stolen from episodes of the Smurfs. Pretend that you came up with this and that all of the people calling you a thief are mental- sit back and watch your retard fans defend you.

link?

Also, I saw a fan fic. posted on /b/ a while back. It was Hagrid/Dobby.
Don't go totally overboard with the crazy. It's a lot better if you keep in character not just, "And then Fred and George raped Ron and Luna spray her ass juice everywhere."
It has to sound legit.
Just to give you ideas.

I was just thinking that no matter what foul thing we devise, at least some of the fandom will be serviced.

>>884265
This.

>>884259
Seconded. Also tie Hitler's success with some sort of magic/wizarding shit.

Also, shift the POV to where its a Nazi Wizard who's your main protagonist. Have your fanfic follow Malfoys in their nazi prime.

And make very sure you alienate your reader at every turn by horrible descriptions of wizard on muggle violence, such as extremely explicit descriptions of wizard torture curses on muggles.

>>884280
Also combine this with the Nazi ideas

The Death Eaters are literally killing all the Mudbloods and Harry and Ron and Hermione are having high-spirited fun and playing Quidditch and making mischief

>"And then Fred and George raped Ron and Luna spray her ass juice everywhere."
put this in!

i know i would fucking rage for at least 10 seconds if something bad happened to luna. :/

Harry is kidnapped by a cult that worships Jezebel, and is forced to repeatedly partake in sodomy so that he can fight through hell in order to recover part of Dumbledore's soul to create a horocrux. Unfortunately, he enters an alternate reality where he's forced to preform a coathanger abortion on his mother and force feed her his aborted fetus.

I was about to give up on you guys and then you go and make a thread like this. Good work /lit/.

>>884259
I literally want to write this now. "If This is a Wizard-"

>>884289
>Also tie Hitler's success with some sort of magic/wizarding shit.

I always felt this was kind of implied by "Dumbledore defeated Grindlewald in 1945"

Also make sure Hermiones cat gets killed repeatedly.

>>884265
Yes, this! But with everything else from this thread and Op, you had better deliver!

>>884301
wait, what?

>>884307
Threads like this are the reason /lit/ is a piece of shit.

Fucking deliver, OP.

Have Harry give up being a wizard and write him out of all future chapters.

>>884328
i'm writing it now and will post it on ff.net tomorrow

>>884301
You sir, need get the fuck off the computer.

>>884333
Give us the link to the story you already have, then.

>>884310

DO EET. Everyone review it so Potterfags will read it.

Turn it into a crossover with Gibbon's Decline And Fall of the Roman Empire

>>884339

No memes, otherwise they'll catch on.

Write Twilight characters into the story who kill all the HP characters.

OP, link to your FF account? Make a new thread when you're done.

>>884366
If he does this I will tip everyone off. Fair warning

>>884371
why you got to break balls?

>>884371
feels bad man

>>884377
>>884383
trolling is wrong so i try to prevent it

>>884389
Did you ever think that by notifying the potterfags, you'd be trolling the trolls, making yourself just as wrong?

>>884371
How is this _simply_ trolling? Don't you see how much fun we are all having? FUCKING PHILISTINE. *I MAD*

>>884389
They're not being forced to read it. Surely if you don't like a fan-fic you can just move on to the next one?

>>884389

So many moralfags on /lit/.

>>884393
wat

>>884394

Don't worry, it won't be violating any rules. You can't get in trouble for pissing off readers with acceptable content (there are no doubt fanfictions on that site which involve Nazis).

>>884394

>i mad

Anger is the emotion of the weak, the stupid, and the cowardly.

It is not a feeling that intellectuals are subject to. I suggest you study the meditation practices of the Buddhist Monks and utilize them in your day-to-day life in order to eliminate anger.

>>884389
This isn't even trolling

This is writing an entertaining, albeit insane, story

>>884407
Wow. I wish I could slap you for such a caprice. Buddhists are so great? Ask the Tamils.

>>884407
Anger is the root of some of the best art. Then again, intellectuals know nothing about art.

>>884416
too right!

I don't want to miss out on this because some moralfag threatens to ruin it for us all :(

>>884163

THIS

>>884419

> Buddhists are so great?

I didn't say that, you Philistine. They simply use an easily-accessible form of meditation that would help that person with their anger. Other than that, I really couldn't give two shits about them and their idiotic ideals.

Harry Houdini comes and exposes the entire wizarding community for their bullshit and pederasty and incest.

>>884094
>>884098
>>884108
>>884109
>>884109
>>884117
Combine all of these.
Hermione bimbos after Fred and George in some scary-brutal threesome, Ron walks in and gets teabagged for cockblocking, then he offs himself, causing a domino-effect of suicides across all of Hogwarts, then Voldemort comes out of nowhere and wins teh mission.

Brilliant.

>>884426
You think you can practice buddhist meditation without integrating their ideals? You are a dilettante just like Becky when she sips a latte after yoga class and reads Eat Pray Love.

>>884426
Emotion is what defines us as human. The disassociation of the conscious mind from the world around you to avoid emotional interaction is pure escapism. You sir, will never truly enjoy life.

Scat. Don't forget scat.

Write the Ulysses of HP fanfic.

"Stately,thin Albus Dumbledore came from the stairhead, carrying a pensieve-bowl on which a scroll and a wand lay crossed."

hard mode-make the connection between mulligan and dumbledore

As a true Potterfag, I approve of this thread.
I think that means it's not trolling.
Post the link.

>>884433
Bitch, you best watch where you lower the pimphand.

>>884433

Humans are essentially naked apes with over-large heads. There is nothing special or beatific about being 'human'. Especially in this day and age. You'll forgive me if I'm not exactly brimming with excitement to be human.

>>884431

Even now I am posting from Starbucks on my shiny new Macbook, while reading a copy of Tolstoy's War And Peace in an ironic and cool fashion, sipping my Mocha Latte and texting my hipster friends on my iPhone.

>>884449
Your pseudo-sarcastic feigned self-deprication hyperbole is bad faith and obviously you have understood that I was right.

>>884449

emo faggot

I love Harry Potter and I contributed to this thread copiously. I love it. Whoever is betraying us will burn in hell.

>>884453

You overreact, therefore your argument is invalid.

>>884461
stay out of this, the adults are trying to talk.

>>884449
But you are human, you're nothing but. In order to be self actualized, you must experience every facet of life, including emotion. If you don't want to, you're exactly as ignorant as over emotional cretins, with twice the ego. Life is about moderation, it's okay to be angry sometimes, you just need a positive outlet to vent your frustration. If you actually studied Buddhism, you'd know that.

>>884453

>self-deprication

>deprication

Opinion invalid.

>>884458
I mean I'm pretty sure this would fall well within the bounds of accepted behavior in the community. Not much worse than most crackfic

>>884465

We all aspire to be more than human, though. It has driven us out of the jungles and into civilization. Can you really fault me for that?

>>884467

>says the guy who thinks Jabberwocky is harder than Finnegans Wake

buddhist guy is right.

now, start talking about harry potter.

So OP, you're going with Nazi wizards led by Hitler and muggles being put into concentration camps?

Ron joins Hitler's Wizard Youth and tries to kill Hermione in a fit of temporary insanity, at which point she stabs her wand into his eye, followed by a slow, grisly death scene where Hermione cries and strangles Ron to death.

>>884467
Using a one-letter mistake to invalidate an argument? You must simply ache in your desperation.

>>884473
That is a noble aspiration, unfortunately aspiring to be more than human is like my cat aspiring to be a dog. It may act like a dog, but it will always be a cat. The only thing you really have is your humanity and your true self. By denying that, you might as well be nothing at all.

>>884484
but how would a ginger be allowed into the hitler youth? Now you're just being crazy.

>>884426

Lmao I love calling people philistines, its my favorite insult. They are always so puzzled while I nod with a stupid smile, "exactly....exactly".

Anyway, whoever said you cannot practice meditation without budhist ideals is a fuckfagphilistine.

Meditation is something that any willing person can reap benefits from, regaurdless of beleifs or knowledge of the Budhist followings, ass.

Sitting alone in a quiet place and clearing your head is something people havebeen doing long before they had knowledge of Buddha.

>>884491

The typo tells us that you are typing quickly and/or not paying enough attention. This is a textbook sign of reaction. Please don't be angry, and just admit you're wrong.

>>884494

>That is a noble aspiration, unfortunately aspiring to be more than human is like my cat aspiring to be a dog. It may act like a dog, but it will always be a cat.

A flawed analogy. Your cat cannot don instruments that allow it to be dog-like.

I can, however, insert myself into forms of technology that essentially make me a very crude cyborg. By doing so, I have already made myself more than just a simple human being. It just doesn't benefit me much.

>>884501
You cannot practice *buddhist* meditation without buddhism, this should be fairly obvious.

>>884495

Well, he's not a popular one, and he dies for it (not before he reports his family for vocally opposing the fuhrer's policies, at which point they are arrested and incinerated).

>>884511
Ohwow.jpg

The point
Your head

>>884503
forgot your trip, fag. And by the way, being quick in reaction, and correct as well, is called wit. Something you obviously haven't developed as the height of your wit is to point out a minor type-o and denigrate it with something a Jedi Knight might say in a star-wars fanfic.

I never used the phrase buddhist meditation, ass.

Like I said, anyone can sit in a room with the goal of relaxing, letting go of stress and focusing on goals or aspiriations or nothing at all.

If you are so hung up on semantics, refer to it as "quiet time" or "stress releiver"...you philistine!

>>884513

So... meditations have to be performed only when you can, when informed, put them into a wider Buddhist context? Thats like saying you can only use a hammer after you've taken Architecture in Uni.

>>884151
I chose both.

>>884525

>classic knee-jerk reaction for being criticized on 4chan

>>884525

>type-o

What the fuck am I reading.jpg

>>884530
>I suggest you study the meditation practices of the Buddhist Monks and utilize them in your day-to-day life in order to eliminate anger
This is what we were referring to.

>>884511
I will never get the time back it took me to read that. You sir, should feel horrible. You wasted my life, your life, and anyone's life who chose to read that. You sir, have made us all legitimately less intelligent by posting that. Fucking pseudo-intellectual aspie tripfaggots.

>>884539
You really have nothing but this trifling shit. It's cool we all make mistakes. You thought you could practice Buddhist meditation without understanding Buddhism. It does sound silly now, doesn't it?

>>884511

>Don't mind me, I'm a complete faggot making transhumanists cry for my stupidity.

>>884530
>with the goal of relaxing, letting go of stress and focusing on goals or aspiriations or nothing at all.

i lol'd trying to imagine buddhist monks with such goals

seriously though, ascetic monastery life isn't soemthing you'd commit yourself to without some kind of belief system.

>>884550

Let me surprise you with a fresh nugget of information:

You're already making yourself dumber, and wasting precious seconds of your life, by posting on 4chan. I'm simply aiding this process.

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of each second of your little life crumbling away into dust.

sure is mad in this thread

When did this stop being about Harry Potter?

ITT butthurt tripfag is closet butthurt potterfag. derails wonderful thread.

Things I have learned from /lit/:

-Harry Potter leads to semantics on humanity.

I never even knew Rowling was so LOLDEEP.

>>884563
so, not only are you an idiot, but you're an apathetic, presumably nihilist, idiot. Go read some more wikipedia philosophy.

They're meditations practiced by Buddhists. A Buddhist walked me through some meditations once. There is nothing that makes knowledge of Buddhism irrevocably predicate the ability to practice these meditations.

>>884579

>nihilism

lawl.

Nihilism is for emotional teenagers who want to be deep and edgy. I am against all of these things.

>>884582

Unless of course there is some purely abstract, subjective component I'm not aware of.

>>884586

Its actually pretty interesting for those who understand it, but yes the vast majority of 'nihilists' are teenage faggots who miss the point entirely.

>>884582
What you are talking about, is not meditation, but technique. Really, westerners think they can have everything for free.

>>884586
>Nihilism is for emotional teenagers who want to be deep and edgy. I am against all of these things.
>>884563
>If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of each second of your little life crumbling away into dust.

>>884602

Beat it L. Ron

>>884606
I lol'd.

Alright, this thread's spent enough time being DEEP.

>Hermione bimbos after Fred and George in some scary-brutal threesome, Ron walks in and gets teabagged for cockblocking, then he offs himself, causing a domino-effect of suicides across all of Hogwarts, then Voldemort comes out of nowhere and wins teh mission.

There should just be a part where Luna turns into a dragon and rampages around eating and fucking people to death. Or if you don't do that and instead go with the Neville Dragon idea, she should become possessed by a Succubus or something and just totally rape people until they turn into dried-up husks.

This thread has become a more massive fail then it already was. Congratulations kiddies, stop circle jerking eachother and trolling this thread with your intellectual battles. Remember, there are no winners on the internet.

Can we go back to discussing Hagrid fucking Neville Longbottom or something?

>>884616
boo. it was all your fault.

>>884619

Good idea.

Also, if OP goes with the Succubus Luna idea, she should have a massive slut-off contest with Bimbo Hermione. That would be -awesome-.

Cross over with Naruto, shit'll be flying EVERYWHERE.

>>884619

Hagrid becomes a Nazi wizard enforcer, since they're the only ones who appreciate his abilities (since the ministry of magic fucked him in the ass back in the day).

>>884616
How To Tripfag on 4chan
>start a blatantly retarded argument
>get your ass handed to you, multiple times
>LUL GUIZE I TROLL UUUUUU

>>884619
dood. Neville gets fucked by the womping willow. But i vote that after a kinky night with Goyle and some wizard weed , he gets the nickname Neville Bongbottom

>>884598
chances are there is either essential buddhist values incorporated in the instructions or the guy is just teaching you some yoga. just sayin'

>>884625

Hasn't that already been done?

>>884630

I agree to this only if Harry also gets balls-ass retarded on some Magick Kush, and earns the name Pothead.

>>161 posts and 5 image replies omitted

way to go /lit/

Luna's dad dies, Necrowincest ensues. Make it sound like Lars Von Trier directed it.

Human centipede. Dumbledore goes nuts and connects Ron, Harry, and Hermione, via the gastric system...

OP...LISTEN THE FUCK UP

these shitty wannabe porns are miserable ideas. the best way to troll a fanfic is gradually turn the stories into derivative, boring ones that makes the reader rage.

-put harry in a contest where he competes with other wizards
-have harry encounter a vampire
etc

write it poorly

>>884657

Nnnnnoooo

Yyyyeessss

Oh God, I'm so conflicted. I hated that movie, but a Potterverse version of it would be brilliant. Since we all know they poop magic, and Hermione's poop probably tastes like Vanilla Ice Cream

>>884657
Hermione, YOU ARE THE MIDDLE PIECE!!!!

>>884665

from what I have read in the comments on FanFiction.net, they would enjoy it immensely if Harry met a sparkling vampire.

However, it would be amusing if in a sudden TWEEEST, Harry killed Sparkles.

>>884666
evil trips, bro. But seriously Human Centipede is movie of the year, all years.

>>884618

>>884671

We'll call it.. "Wizard Centipede"

>>884665
The point isn't to troll effectively so much as to have fun. Also, hermione has a yeast infection the whole time, talks about it constantly. keywords: cottage cheese, discharge, odour, not fresh, etc.

>>884674
Harry Potter and The Tri-Wizard Centipede

>>884677

This. Someone write it.

>>884677

ololo

>>884677

GLORIOUS.

>>884677
too much beautiful.

>>884680

I has an idea.

Write the first few chapters as a seemingly innocuous HP fanfic, post on FF.net, and then bust out the linkage.

Hilarity ensues.

>>884677
Doing it, I don't care if moralfag exposes it, at this point it would be immoral not to do it.

>>884695

Fuck yes, this will be epic.

>>884703

If by epic you mean it will be similar to the Iliad, then yes, I agree with you 100%.

archive this!

>>884722
Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

well, this is the only thread on lit in the past week or so that uses the word moralfag.

this alone makes the thread pretty shitty.

>>884740
Moralfag? yes.
Butthurt? seems like it.
U Mad? potentially

>>884745
just out of middle school? probably

>>884740

>I'm butthurt that my moralfaggotry isn't appreciated on /lit/, because I believe that a board on 4chan, in light of being devoted to literature, will somehow be different.

>>884754
i'm sorry for not liking obvious retards.

>>884767
not very moral of ye, hatin' on the poor retarded folk. They've done nothing to ye, lad.

>>884773
see, there is a tactical problem here.

my goal is to verbally smack this guy

however, being morally insensitive and ill educated, the guy is not likely to receive well the correct insult, "you immoral turd"

then there is the fact that i do not wish to waste time on this verbal assault, so the generic retard is used.

no actual offense intended against actually retarded people, who are a good deal better than amoral turds.

>>884773

Aye, such hatred is unbecomin' of one on a horse so high.

>>884789

>implying that writing Harry Potter and the Tri-Wizard Centipede makes you amoral.

Are you sure that you just have no sense of humour?

You guys suck. OP should introduce My Immortal characters, but write it from Harry's point of view. Infinitely funnier than some juvenile rape fantasy.

>>884794

>Are you sure that you don't* just have no sense of humour?

Fixed

>>884794
the only thing i am questioning is the use of the word moralfag. harry potter is fine.

it's really just ignorance, at the end of it.

>>884805

Could we call them buzzkills instead?

>>884695

Is this OP, and are you actually doing it? If you won't delivrar, let us know.

Is it just me, or has the mood just been irrevocably lost?

>>884843
Not OP. Doing it. My FF.net email to activate the account still has not arrived. When it does, I will deliver. I don't care if others take a stab at it. I wouldn't mind harrypotter/human centipede becoming a full-fledged genre.

>>884872
yeah it happened a while ago, with that bullshit argument. ugh. it could have been better.

>>884875
I meant when it does, I will write it and eventually deliver. I don't think I can work under a deadline right now.

great thread

>>884881

Awesome, so long as we have people working on it. I'll probably take a stab at it tomorrow.

>>884938

Since people are doing that, can someone bring

>>884430

>Hermione bimbos after Fred and George in some scary-brutal threesome, Ron walks in and gets teabagged for cockblocking, then he offs himself, causing a domino-effect of suicides across all of Hogwarts, then Voldemort comes out of nowhere and wins teh mission.

to life? And then post it on FF.net? It's too brilliant an idea to waste.

>>884941
Thats what I'm sayin' we need to archive this so we can reference it later. I already requested, so come on /lit/.

>>884941

Any takers? I'm doing the Nazi HP story.

>>884949

I'm already writing several very serious short stories of Original nature, or I'd have instantly shouldered the task just to write about everybody at Hogwarts committing suicide. That would be awesome.

>>884954
don't kill luna please. :3

>>884971

I'm already doing something, I can't be bothered to write HP fanfiction right now.

>>884971
I actually wouldn't dream of it.

>>884977

Neither would I, if I wrote that.

I'd probably make her into a Death Eater or something though.

>>885016

Have you considered tentacle rape?

dark luna is fine. turning her into anything with erotic potential is also fine.

>>885032
>>885025

Luna gets possessed by a Succubus, grows breasts and a pert ass, undergoes a personality change and becomes a real bitch who kicks the crap out of people who give her shit, sluts out to the school's luckiest male students, gets raped by tentacles summoned from the hellish Underworld in front of the whole school for fun, and signs on with Voldemort to aid in destroying Hogwarts. By crushing the egos of many male Hogwarts students they commit suicide, hence causing the domino suicide effect the other Anons suggested, then she kills that dumb cow Bellatrix, and becomes Voldy's right hand woman. The final scene is a passionate kiss between Voldy and Luna on the smoldering remains of Hogwarts.

coolface.jpg

>luna the dark mistress of hogwarts

it's impossible to top this.

>>885045

I think this thread should be archived. There is snot coming out of my fucking nose from laughing so hard.

OH GOD I'M CRYING. THIS IS AWESOME.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/08/fan_fiction_friday_hogwarts_and_a_giant_squid_in_f.php


something like this.

Link?

>>884149
Add some Cthulhu mythos and combine with:
>>884265
For epic win.

Make Ron catch hermione fucking draco

>>885227

Make him clean them up after

>>885229

And then he kills himself.

durselys gangrape Harry.

>>885272

And then he kills himself.

Bamp. So we've got HP and the Tri-Wizard Centipede, Harry Potter and the Fourth Reich, and an untitled project that involves rape, incest, and lots of suicide which is orphaned in terms of having a writer.

>>885535

About the last:

It's basically called Harry Potter and The Dark Mistress Luna.

Go with the centipede

>>885045

Hot.

Harry wakes up, everything was a dream and he didn't have any magic powers, neither anything revolving the story happened, because magic doesn't exists.

>>884114
dude, this. full weasly family wincest.

>>885574
His name is Charlotte and her fat old husbands got wood.

FUCKING BELLAIR IT, RIGHT AT THE END< WHEN EVRYBODY'S LIKE, wait what?

MY. IMMORTAL.

>>885650
DO THIS.
It's old, it's tired, but goddamn if it isn't genius.

>>885662
:') and only a lurker would know what bellair is XD

bumping in an epic thread

IT WAS ALL A DREAM
harry wakes up and he's a 300 pound neckbeard who lives at home and goes on /lit/, Hermione is his mom and she's disgusting and he has a orange tabby cat named ron.

bump for great justice

did OP post a link?

>>885886
Yes. Yes yes yes.

IT WAS ALL A DREAM i use to read Wizard magazine. Ginger ron and hermione up in the limousine. Hanging portkeys on my wall. Every saturday an attack on the Slytherin's hall. I let my wand rock til my wand popped.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5888270/1/Untitled_HP_CoS_story

bamp

i can't enjoy these stories if i gotta google every character name. :/

Lmfao at the Lovecraft reference in chapter 2

>>886176
ROFL

>>886275

Then learn to lurk moar.

SNAPE NEEDS TO LOSE HIS VIRGINITY

TO DEFEAT EVIL OR SOMETHING

CUE 40-YEAR-OLD-VIRGIN HIJINKS

>>886328
i'm sorry that my potter knowledge is so limited. not really lol

This kind of thing makes me upset :(

It's good people are getting involved with Harry Potter but there are limits.

>>884080
Have Ron get mugged by a black guy and turn into a white supremacist. Then make him form a white power group at Hogwarts. End with a race war where Harry gets killed in the crossfire with Hermione crying over him. Have Ron see and realize the error of his ways before falling down and crying.

>>886388
C'mon, man, think of the possibilities.

>>886388
>bringing in racism to a nice harry potter thread\
no

>>886415
I'm not trying to bring in racism. I think it's just a hilariously clichéd storyline that would piss a lot of people off.

do it with some class at least. piss off the right people for the right reasons. this is not some sort of /b/tard production

> whining about racism ON FUCKING 4CHAN
You are fucking retarded.

What the fuck is this thread doing down here? Back to page 1 with you.

How bout Harry quits faggotass Wizard school and gets a real goddamn job?

>>887117
but if he does that, how can he be the slave of dark mistress luna

>>887130
dark luna takes him by force?

>>887130

FFags will be fapping like they've never fapped before.

>>887117

because he only has the normal education of a 10 or 11 year old

>>887177

This.

>>887137
overwhelming force

Fucking hell, this shit is still floating?