/lit/ - Literature

so when are you gonna get bored and stop making these threads

>>6417571
"Okay? Okay."

But Wittgenstein said that.

>>6417571
>>6417583
>4 posts
>3 unique IPs
samefag detected
everyone move on

>>6417587
>did you discover this as a dying man?

<3

>>6417587
>“How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.”
This is the way John Green put it. It can be an interesting idea to talk about, but he put in the smuggest fucking way possible.

To me it just translates as do i care to talk as opposed to find, and find what?

>>6417620
what

>>6417571
yeah he sucks

>>6417603
It's not smug

>mfw I actually look up where the quote is from

>>6418620
lmfao

>>6418620
oh my fuck

>>6418620
Kek. For a second there I thought John Green wrote something deep.

>>6418620
no wonder I liked it. I was afriad to speak up because someone would have called me a plen

>>6417571
call me a plen but I love that quoete

>>6418687
fucking plen

>>6418669
>>6418687
>>6418688
You guys do realize the word is pleb, not plen, don't you?

>>6418692
>being this pleneian
oh dear

>>6418692
>doesn't know how to plen
jerryseinfeldwithahockeystick.mobi

>>6418698
You do realize the image is of George Costanza with a baseball bat, don't you?

>>6417571
I actually kinda like it, I understand what he meant.

>>6418704
Anon please stop embarrassing yourself

I've never read any of this books because I'm not a teenage girl, but Crash Course isn't that bad.

Also, hating youtube personalities only makes them stronger, you guys are just like /v/ with Anita Sarkeesian. Knock it off, you are only going to make him richer.

John Green is awful. He is condescending and sarcastic, his attitude reminds me of that of British aristocrats, that mean-spirited snappiness and bigotry. I strongly suspect he hates himself deep down.

>>6418904
So you mean to say, that he's always talking about how much rich white people suck (i'm exaggerating), is because he himself knows he is one and doesn't like what he sees in himself?

>>6418912

I don't know. Maybe. But I'm not really talking about his politics. It's just a straightforward observation of what I 'see' in his personality based on his body language, the particular brand of sarcasm he relies on, etc. Like I said, it's very similar to the insecure arrogance I've always noticed in upper class british intellectuals. That kind of viciousness has to be rooted in hatred of some kind, and I think all hatred is at bottom self hatred.

>>6418921
I don't know if I agree, but I can definitely see it.

>>6417571

>Using big words to look smart
>Wearing do-rags
>Using simple words to look humble
>Writing post-modernist tomes
>Muh new sincerity
>Muh comments on metafiction

John Green can eat a dick.

>smug_kosmo_plays_lacrosse.docx

>>6418904
Well he's really mean to his past self in his crash course videos so probably.

>>6418709
you do realize that's neither a cat nor a cookie, don't you?

>I can have all this inside me

I wonder if dudes like him know when they're admitting to a deep desire for male penetration

>>6419296
>>6418904
>>6418708
>>6418692
>>6418687
>>6418669
>they all fell for my jest

This is the only funny John Green thread I have seen

>>6419290
It's a meme you dip

who the fuck is john green? you americunts live in your little world dont you

>>6420806
an author
fuck off

>>6420668

Well at least it didn't last an forever amount of time

Sorry OP, the actual quote is:

>How odd I can have all these cocks inside of me, and to you it's just porn

And it's from Foucault

>>6420806
the best considered modern _american_ (or to them: worldwide) author

>>6420842

>>6418887
>but Crash Course isn't that bad
THE WESTERN WORLD IS BAD
SEE, EVEN IN ANCIENT TIMES WOMEN WERE OPPRESSED
DID I MENTION THE WESTERN WORLD IS BAD?
LET'S LOOK AT HOW MUCH BETTER THE MIDDLE-EAST IS AND HOW PROBLEMATIC THE WEST IS
WOMEN ARE OPPRESSED

>>6420842
He really is the #1 bestselling author wordlwide right now though, The Fault in Our Stars is HUGE everywhere.

>>6418692
Shit, didn't know that, thanks for correcting us, m8!

This is the best fucking troll thread I've seen in a while. DFW quote attributed to John Green. Marvelous, and nobody catching it. 10/10 OP

>>6420907
None of it due to the merit of his skill as a writer or a thinker.
>muh consumerism

DFW is basically just a postmodernist version of John Green.

>>6420918
Merit is a wholly subjective notion anon.

>>6420891
This is literally only a problem if you are a faggot.

>>6420891
4chan is so very easy to trigger. Some times I forget how much of a hugbox this can be.

A screen flickers to light in a dark classroom in Stockholm, Sweden. The students eagerly await the video to load, so they can receive their anticipated lesson.

>Hi! I'm John Green and this is Crash Course: World History and we're going to talk about the Renaissance.

The Students clap and cheer violently, a round of applause going around the room and the children smile, knowing the all-wise John Green is here to educate them about the past.


>We all know those stupid Eurocentrists claim the Renaissance was driven by Italian innovation...

The students boo and frown, vaguely aware that the "Yuro-centrists" are always the bad guys in Mr. Green's lessons. A few are on the edge of their seats and in tears, hoping that Mr. Green will soon defeat the bad guys like he does every video.

>but every true non-fascist knows it wasn't done by privileged Italians at all...it was driven by Muslims!

The students cheer and cry tears of joy, knowing that at this point in the video they are transported into Mr. Green's "Thought Bubble", which shows them delightful images of men in turbans painting Renaissance art and raising children with white Italian mothers.

>But remember kids... the Renaissance didn't even matter! The Europeans still didn't have socialized healthcare and multiculturalism! See you next episode!

The screen suddenly goes dark, and the children dejectedly leave the classroom for their next class: Traditions of Islam and Cultural Awareness.

>>6420924
>muh spooks

>>6420952
>I feel the need to invent spooks
>I don't even do minimum research before complaining about something I can't even jokingly recreate.

>>6420952
10/10

John Green is to /lit/ was Louis CK is to /tv/

>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Hazel, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

>When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.

Fuck the haters, I see nothing wrong with the quote. since when is it considered pretentious to show emotions through words.

>>6421014
>>When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.
Jesus Christ, I cringed hard.

>>6421014
it's like a sentimental and worse version of the Mating protagonist

>>6421014
Did you hear that Nabokov abused of a little child?
And Lovecraft says he has seen multiple monsters!

john green is way better than a huge number of his contemporaries. he's not really the problem. compared to grrm he's a great writer. compared to philip roth or norman rush he's still mediocre. but at least he has some sort of conviction and doesn't make you cringe with every sentence

>>6421014
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.

>>6421036
Really? I couldn't read a single page of his without cringing, his style is the epitome of trying too hard to be casual.

>>6417571
I just don't like the way he curls his bottom lip forward when he speaks. Has anyone else noticed that? Is there a word for that tone or that way of speaking?

>>6421048
i mean i guess cringing is subjective but at least john green deals with like emotions real people actually have and cares about emotional responses that are something other than outrage or pleasure at a character's death

>>6421014
>We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken.

Am I right, as a non English speaker, to say that the syntactic structure is obnoxiously pedantic?

>My cancer wass funny to me, because for most of my memory I wanted nothing more than to expire and leave this pointless thresher of pain and insufferable loss behind, but I always lacked the constitution for suicide.


Jesus Christ, John

>>6421073
It's fine, he's just trying to show off where there's no place for that.

>>6421073
we need never is p bad

>It now lately sometimes seemed a black miracle to me that people could actually care deeply about a subject or pursuit, and could go on caring this way for years on end. Could dedicate their entire lives to it. It seemed admirable and at the same time pathetic. We are all dying to give our lives away to something, maybe

>>6421014
>and, boom,
I HATE it when clever little shits do that.

>>6421073
Fellow non-native here. The sentence is readable but it certainly feels like he has to force memorable/deep quotes.

>>6421090
>>It now lately sometimes seemed

>>6418620
Why is his mouth shaped so funny? Why is his face so round?

>>6421073
More like obnoxiously pretentious. "We need never" is an archaic, Elizabethan way of speaking. It's clear that he's putting a feather in his cap when he does this.

People in his demographic, modern kids, would say "we never need to be..."

>>6421090
>It now lately sometimes seemed
Damnit Wallace I swear you're not worth the hype sometimes.

>>6421130
I'd rather omit the "to" to be honest, I never liked the sound of it and always try to omit it from a verb whenever possible.

"Why does this first person narration of an insufferable teen sound like an insufferable teen" the thread

>>6421138
you're right.

Now that I think about it, a modern English speaker would probably say, "We don't need to be..."

>>6421145
>The average teen speaks like an Elizabethan nobleman

>>6421150
>Pretentious teens don't force things they think will make them sound smarter.

>>6421145
Didn't you hear? All characters have to be likeable. If you don't like his characters he's a lousy writer.

>>6421027
the best part is because I saw some crash course videos I can hear it in his voice, along with all those pauses he articulates when he quotes someone famous, and that makes it even worse.

>Shits on Aristotle whenever he can
>Nothing but praise for Thomas Aquinas

....?

>>6421179
Every time he makes a pause you can just hear him think about how awe-inspiring he is.

>>6421187
i've really never gotten this vibe from john green. he doesn't really strike me as super pretentious.

>>6421175
>implying he didn't write hazel to be incredibly likable
but regardless of her likability she's not that interesting of a character. she's kind of a weaker austenian character

I don't understand the green hate on /lit he's one of my favorite authors.

>>6421208
Shut up Hank.

>>6417571
ITT: DFW laughing at idiots who fell for the jest

>>6421023
Yes, you could almost say that this quote was done by someone with.... discernible talent

>>6421130

Yes, I knew that. I just didn't know whether the use of "need" in its modal form would be considered pretentious or just weird and archaic.

>>6420910
what makes it even better is that people are actually discussing why john green is so bad

>>6417571
"Jesting was a mistake"- David Foster Wallace

>>6421132
But that was kind of the best part, sort of.

>>6418709
I thought Dogs couldn't have chocolate

>>6418692
>this dearth of patrisicnness

>>6421150
the average intellectual went through at least a phase of pseudo-intellectualism they all hope people forgot about. A lot of green is shit, but kids, especially terminally diagnosed kids who don't feel they've felt enough in their lives speaking with ostentation is not the worst part of his writing.

when will we learn to love the john green and stop worrying about YA

>>6417571
This honestly sounds like something he would write.

>>6420907
never heard of it

>>6422229
When it finally bombs.

>>6421014
Trying so hard to emulate Holden Caulfield.
>>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

>>6421474

>That shame when John Green can not only put together a story, he can get it published, and you can't even break fifty pages.

>>6422921
Wow, never knew how awful doing a book signing could be. That looks impossible to keep up with that line.

>>6423164
he signed every copy of the first pressing of the fault in our stars

dude signs a lot

>>6421014
This can't be real

>>6418887
>but Crash Course isn't that bad
>but Crash Course isn't that bad
>but Crash Course isn't that bad
>but Crash Course isn't that bad

>>6422157
they can't, this is really dangerous

This quote is from The Pale King right...

>>6422921

>>6421014
based john

>>6421014

This is so fucking bad I want to die.

>>6425017
Whatever dude, it's a super important commentary on social construction. He's asking why we just jam things into binaries instead of leaving room for subjectives. Down with the patriarchy.

>>6420804
are you really this dense?

>>6425696
Are YOU?

>>6420806
Yes, we do. And you probably know a lot more about it than we do yours. Eat a dick

>>6418698
Also, mobi isn't even a proper image format, it's for ebooks!
You are a silly person, Anon.

>>6421014
The man knows his audience.

>>6417571
This is the most successful troll thread I have seen in along time.

>>6418692

>>6425710
ok you need to go away sir

>>6417571
cuck

>>6417583

>>6417571
>tfw dfw said that

>come back day later
>thread is still going

>>6426151
OP here
my threads never end, one lasted for 13 days

>>6426155
>bragging about your ability to b8 autistic retards

>>6426170
don't be so hard on yourself m8

>>6417571
Watch crash course OP.
Just watch it.

>>6426170
I wish I was as skilled as he

>>6426155
but i'm the OP...

>>6421125
>Shaped funny
you ill-bred cockalorum. how dare you dishonor the perfect contour of this appealing individual's lips.
>round
round? you equilateral nincompoop have no idea of how elegant his sphere-shaped head is.

>>6425722
rekt

>>6418692
lurk moar
captcha: pagat

>>6426200
>>6426155
No I'm OP

>>6418887
>Crash Course isn't that bad
It is that bad.
But I agree, we shouldn't give him the attention.

>>6425046
This is really starting to get old, at least the early post modernists/post-structuralists introduced it in a philosophically impressive way but now any other Tumblr or internet faggot who is bored enough whines about that

>Teen literature
>Why is this so cringeworthy?
Why do you fags even play along with the troll? Just ignore it and let little girls read their thing. They will choose better when they grow up, we all do.

>>6427030
>they will choose better
unless they don't

>>6427057
Pretty much this. People praised Harry Potter because they thought it would get an entire generation interested in serious reading but that's patently not the case.

How are people Itt still not getting that this is not a john green quote

>>6427151
most people on lit dont read

why would they read the thread

>>6427151
Because we selected it, right clicked it, googled it

>>6427164
That would imply that they figured out that it wasn't

>>6418887
that's his brother

>>6417571
I call dat shit "The Fart In Our Stalls" lmao

>people are still falling for the jest

reminder that this writer is able to produce Real Feelings in Real People

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4ogdOQ8XIs

He didn't say that.

Also, he's a YA author. Are we going to pick on Dr. Seus or some shit next?

>>6427608
But you don't understand! He has a youtube channel where he says western society might not be the best ever! And he expresses moderate feminist views!

THE HORROR!

>>6423156
>tfw you know you could at least be a passable author but youre so afraid of failure you never type a word outside of 4chan
havent written jack shit since september somebody come kill me with a wooden knife

>>6427631
>western society might not be the best ever
if u don't like it, GET OUT

>>6421090

>>6427677
Self Criticism is a large part of modern western society. If you want to live somewhere that doesn't happen, try moving to the third world ;^)

>>6427660
You might just want some motivation to write, something like
>>6418697

>>6427151
It doesn't matter. This is a John Green thread.

>>6421184
the answer is that Aquinas was referenced as a wizard in harry potter lore. Green is all about appealing to a certain audience after all, popular YA is every bit as psychologically calculated as pop music designed to hit the top 40. capitalism

>>6427955
If Aquinus was a wizard, I'm pretty sure most of the Greeks would be too. At very least the Pythagorans.

>>6421073
Banana Yoshimoto said it way better:

"In this world, there is no place for sadness. No place; not one."