/lit/ - Literature

I just thought about something. Humans are desperate for comfort in this cold existence of ours. We are always flailing and destroying just for the sake of finding more liebstraum for our desires and petty hope. To be human is to be pathetic.Indeed, the universe is not so elusive because of its difficulty, but because of our simplicity.

>>4327263
No one cares that you haven't come to terms with your sexuality. Also, you write like shit.

I think I might've resolved my qualms when in comes to God. I don't want to believe, I don't feel an obligation to believe, and as far as sufficient evidence goes, there simply isn't enough. If I am wrong and indeed there is a God, if he sends me to Hell for not believing in Him, using only faulty human facilities as a vessel, then I'm glad I don't believe. Of course, fear of the unknown rears its ugly head, but I won't break down and do the human thing of using God as a crutch. From what I've ascertained there probably is no God, which pleases me. After all, I'd hate for the intrinsic beauty of the universe to be violated by grubby hands.

>>4327274
this this this. gtfo and read op, you have a backlog to catch up on.

>>4327272
liebestraum*

I often become lost
Among these beasts of human nature
Tall, looming and grave
Their branches tear into the sky
With every wave of their limb
They speak in tongues

A ballet instructor looses a child, which leaves him in a distressed and altered state. His teen daughter plays coy. Trap doors.

She felt disconnect. Not like the way she did with her peers, but rather the sensation of being ripped away from yourself.

Stop, please.

>>4327297
tfw you're full of shit and think you're speaking some universal truth that has never been uttered before.

oh god please stop
all these edges

>>4327263
>348x256

are you posting the diary of an ant???

I have a new feature to add to my story ideas. The wife of a brutal dictator meets odd people at a cocktail party. She eventually runs away with them to Belgium. In my head, I see her. She has black hair, pallid skin and blue-green eyes, much like Eva Green. I can see her face, wandering yet morose, staring out of a car with the threads of branches reflected in the window. Eventually the story escalates to the point where our Eva hits the Professor (a man who literally professes things) over the head with a cinderblock. With an amused rage, he grabs her by the forehead and shoves her thin frail body to the ground. I can imagine it now, her rail like limbs drowning in her slightly tattered white dress. Anyway, the story ends with her at another party. When she excuses herself to the bathroom after feeling dizzy, she looks in the mirror and finds a thin trail of blood running down her nose. Later, she dies of a brain disease.

>>4327263
>tfw op's superego is his sixth grade english teacher who said he's a good writer

>>4327349
You are the-fucking-worst.

This is making me cringe and nostalgia hard. Fuck the haters, OP. It's interesting to read shit you wrote at that age, in that mindset, without holding anything back. I save all the old drafts of my poems, even the really early, really bad ones.

My heart is beating very rapidly. I'm so frustrated I can barely take it. My thoughts won't stop running, not even this pen can keep up. TURMOIL! That's all I FEEL. Whore! That's all I am, an attention whore. READ ME! READ ME! Too many thoughts. I wish to stab myself in the eye with this pen. They some me, other people. I NEED TO BE ALONE. So many things to get done, but I can't do anything. I scream help, but no one hears. Whore! L'enfer, c'est les autres.

>>4327377
Oh god, dat random French. Fucking lel.

I hope you've come a long, long way since these were written.

>>4327377
Man why didn't you just burn this?

>>4327377
>>4327377
>L'ENFER C'EST LES AUTRES.

oh god oh god please tell me this is the greatest bait I've ever seen

I applaud your courage OP. Fuck the guys saying 'stop,' they're just embarrassed for their own teenage antics.
This shit is useful. How often do we get a chance to look into the private thoughts of a teenager other than our old selves? I don't have time to squeeze out a teenage daughter.

>>4327297
>I won't break down and do the human thing

le edgy

>>4327390
You should never burn things you've written, no matter how bad they are and no matter how hard they are to read. There's always something to be gleaned from it - for me, at least - and it's interesting to see your mindset at that moment in time recorded. Who gives a shit if it's "good" or not? The older you get, the more you're concerned with things you write being "good" the first time you write something, which can keep a lot of things from being written down that you could have just easily edited out later if they were completely worthless.

>>4327400
To add to this:

Who really cares if the shit you've written in your journal is really bad? That's not really the point. No one else is going to fucking see it, after all - or in this case, it's anonymous, so basically the same thing in any event. You should write in a journal whatever the fuck you feel like writing.

Many things have happened. For instance, I am now 16 years old. I know it's supposed to be a major milestone, yet I feel nothing. Another thing I feel compelled to write about. During a senior speech, a girl talked about the death of her mother. Of course, she got a standing ovation. As the backs crowded my vision and the applause burned my ears, I found myself ill (absolutely ill!) with jealousy. No one ever clapped for me when my father died. Strangely enough, both died of leukemia. Also interesting, I nearly had a mental breakdown. Perhaps I just wanted to have a break from the stress of life. We were having a late start at school and I was supposed to take the bus. However, I missed it (whether that was purposeful or not is up to a psychoanalysis) and just couldn't do it anymore (it being life of course). I just wanted to die. Really, I though about swallowing some pills and letting it all be over. (In the words of Rocco "It's all over"). However, I just couldn't do it. Something always holds me back. The allure of the future? Fear of punishment? I cannot definitively say. One thing is for sure: mother suffered a conniption. Some memorable words from her: "We should just keep driving. Drive all day. Wanna go to Disneyland?" I, of course, knew better than to respond. Other highlights include her informing me that I was faking everything, how this was too expensive. I come so close to forgiving her, but it's things like this that stop me.

Oh diary, someday I shall use you for your intended purpose, let loose the fear,anger,loneliness, shame and confusion that always lingers. But right now I'm afraid, fearing that as soon as someone opens this book, my self will be completely violated. My God, it's a horrid feeling, to be terribly lonely yet disgusted and even afraid of your counterparts. It's as though I've been trapped in my head for days. Trust me, I want to escape and feel the world pulsating in my grasping hands, but I can't get out! I've begged mother to take me to see A---, my psychaitrist. With each day I grow more and more disgusted with myself, my deformed body with its bulges of fat, my ruthless hair and my general ugliness. Also, I am too weak and lazy to change anything.

>>4327471
>actually talking to the diary
b8

>>4327471
Also should be "Alas"

You know, being a teenager myself i find this interesting.
Side note; I find it funny that you guys are shooting the guy down, as well it's nice to see that people don't act any different on this board then any other. (first time here.)

>>4327483
https://www.4chan.org/rules

Not OP

3/9

Went to zoo with Ethan and Jake. Monkeys were cool!
Saw a "crack whore" at lunch. You could see 5 inches of her butt crack. Jake laughed. I disapproved. Jake was being a puss. I wanted to go to a genuine city food place (cheap) but he wanted to go to pearls (MUH Franchise). Schizophrenic lady in restaurant convinced me that pearls was safe :(
Jake said "fuck you" when I wouldn't go to his house. He's the real monkey. Ape asshole.

Lately, I've even begun to feel intellectually inferior. As for people, I try to be outgoing with my peers, yet my attempts fall flat or I end up feeling ashamed, like some washed up coquette. I am experiencing the sensation of my mind and body peeling away from my self, with the person I wish to be overwhelming me, spilling out of my arms and pooling 'round my feet!

>>4327477

Didn't Anne Frank name her diary?

>>4327483
b8
b&

>>4327422
>no one clapped for me when my father died
Was holding on up to that point; completely lost it.

>>4327502
>implying Anne Frank is a reasonable authority to appeal to

Today I met her. I have met Marisha Pessl, the woman who penned my obsession. As soon as I saw her I couldn't help but smile. To be in her presence was surreal. I couldn't believe it, yet there Pessl was. I asked her three questions in total: what's the hardest part of the writing process, how important are character names and rare the characters of Blue and Gareth van Meer based off of anyone or were they created in a vacuum. To be DIRECTLY addressed by her was to live in a dream.

>>4327494
Hmmmm.
I get the point of the rule yet I can't find myself calling this fanfic, yes it is written by Op and posted here.
Still.
GG

Does anyone here ever actually try to make their journal entries good, anyways?

>>4327534
>Marisha Pessl
That explains your fucking cancer inducing prose.

I had a very odd dream last night. It started in a store where I browsed a rare magazine filled with stills from Kubrick's Lolita. It probably stemmed from my wavering on buying a vintage magazine featuring Nabokov and his beloved nymphet. Perhaps i should. Next, from what I can remember, I was Dr. James Watson. We were in some barren wasteland with grey skies and dry soil when I heard bullets whizzing past my head. Quickly, I jumped down from the top of a stationary train car being used as a shield and began watching, waiting to place the bomb (I don't have a clue where this plot twist came from). Anyway, as I ran out to place it in its proper place and detonate it, Holmes was screaming "No, Watson, no!" (or something to that effect) and as I ran out to our hiding place, everything slowed down yet sped up, and it was as if I was weightless. Suddenly, I was in some old timey English village where we (some lady, I presume Adler or Mary was with us) were hiding from some scraggly balding man with a scruffy brown beard with a sword. We broke into a house to hide, and while we regrouped in the bathroom, we discussed a plan (BTW for some reason Holmes could stop time). Unfortunately, we were caught and chained to a Victorian era-esque bed. We were promised to be let free if we did sexual things, with this I had no problem. We had just began fucking and were vertically mounted on each other when the man and his accomplice turned on us and said we'd be murdered. I wriggled myself free from my chains and ran! Ran past all the locker rooms through time with big breast. My god I feel so sexual all the time, I spend an unhealthy amount of my day thinking about... I have found a new conquest and will continue to pursue him. My plan is to fuck him at least once before the end of the school year.

>>4327552
>2011
>not getting it

Lucid Dream @ 4:15 Dec. 01 2013
Suspected factors: Positioning of body before sleep, reluctance before sleep, nicotine, dehydration, previous signs, previous journalling.
I've read a few articles on Lucid Dreaming, that it allows for one to be in control of their dreams. But what I've learned is that the lack of its mastery can deter one from experiencing it in a jovial and light manner it is often described as. Firstly, before going into the state of first sleep, (I will explain why I call it the first sleep), I was reluctant in going to sleep in the first place. I have this habit of putting on some white noise, or a white image, or a presence, ever since childhood, stemming from my father's late night TV viewing, to comfort me in the darkness of being still. As a child and even now I fear that the greatest obstruction is my imagination, it being so wildly untamed and unharnessed, it can lead me to create such a horrifying, or an equally pleasant scenario in which I ultimately put myself in. These days my fears have lessened, from growing up, being in the dark is not so off-putting, but in reality I still cling to the previous fears of my life. It has transformed into leaving a stream on, without watching it with any sort of intent, just to leave it on to hear a voice or a game to remind me that someone else is awake. I used the noise as an anchor to reality, in case I ever go too far. And tonight I did.

When the stream I played on my brother's laptop, specifically the WCG 2013 Championship, I believe it was Team Lyon against Team WE (Misaya was using Twisted Fate in Game 1; Game 2 was Gragas?) Somewhere during game 2, somewhere during that blow out against Lyon, I succesfully deluded myself to fear-free sleep. I was about to get away to the next day, where I would be free to do it again, but a petulant, cheap, and utterly disgusting rock song (from some Chinese band), played and it was louder than the usual listening levels. And it kept me up. Frustrated, I attempted to put on a song, a song I've lately been listening to called Trees by Asuna. A very short, but very sweet, clip. I believe Asuna's music has the potential to evoke ASMR, but that is another article on its own. After about four loops of the three minute song, the laptop died. How am I suppose to sleep now that there's nothing to keep me from the void? Nothing to remind that I wasn't alone in my dark basement? Well, I have a tablet. Usually, If I ever got this desperate, I would play an entire sleep playlist, featuring female vocalists of a jazzy inclination, light dream pop, minimal electro. I only fear what would happen if the day does come when my musical contigency would run out. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I look for music that invites one to mellow and sleep. To be fair, I have a large backlog of such music on my desktop. Gigabytes worth. But tonight, out of some laziness, or maybe in a enthusiastic lens, some offchance brilliance, I learned an important lesson.

>>4327568
why would we? they're not for other people.

op is a complete try hard and should fuck off

I feel so depressed,like I can't even breathe. I don't want to do anything anymore. I just want everything to stop, suspended. It's like the room is closing around me, and how I hope it crushes my lungs, my brain, no I don't want to think anymore. My ability as a writer is non-existent. It's so unfair. Maybe if this mental malady was gone, things would be better, How I long to escape. Everything feels as though it's disintegrating. My urges feel nearly unbearable. There is a boy named Joy--- at my school who I wish to fuck. He is wiry, quite lanky, with blond-blond hair and eyes that flutter that precarious line between blue and gray. The idea of being vulgar repulses me, yet I wish to myself around his shaft. I long to have his tip in my mouth, to relish in his cum flooding my mouth. For years I have refused to use tampons for I intend to save my hymen for the boy who takes my virginity. To see my blond on his creamy bedsheets, to hear my whimpers in his ears, I wonder what emotions it shall evoke in him. I'm considering various flirting strategies to use with him.

>>4327672
*blond should be blood

>>4327672
>My ability as a writer is non-existent.

tru dat

>>4327672
gay

>>4327699
I think OP is female seeing as hymens and tampons are mentioned. This thread is about to get a lot more attention.

>>4327707
I already had my suspicions when OP was writing about being fat and ugly. Also, the generally shitty writing. Sure signs of a female.

>>4327716
Well, judging by that last entry at least its apparent she is down to fuck.

I say J-- in the hallway today, yet I went virtually unnoticed. This Wednesday I have another opportunity to be with him during NAHS, that is when I will try to make my move. The closest I've come to a decent conversation with him is asking his last name. Thankfully, I have some contact with one of his friends, A--. The circumstances in which I met A-- were such that I think he's only kind to me out of pity, as though I'm some Cosette to his Jean Valjean. One day as I was running up a flight of stairs I fell. In response, he casually glanced towards me, smiled, and asked if I was okay. I gave a small nod and skittered to my homeroom. From that fateful meeting, he's proceeded to make small talk with me, picking up my clumsily dropped items and generally keeping a watchful eye. Do not get the wrong idea, seeing as he already has a girlfriend, I doubt he has any feelings for me. It's just that I appear to have an aura of "suicidal' that probably makes him feel bad.

>>4327729
The world is full of hambeasts who are down to fuck if you care to look. Nothing special about this one besides the fact that she's sharing her pretentious teenage writing.

Also,
>>4327739
>J--
You already said his name dipshit. No point in censoring it now.

>>4327739
I don't care if you are a woman, this is really gay. Be honest, this is the most attention you've ever received in your life. Also, I bet you are 17 and this journal is barely a year old.

>>4327739
>NAHS
National Art Honor Society?
If so, that explains the pretension.

>>4327746
I don't care to look, I'm at least a tier above hambeasts. Drivel, pseudo-pretentious drivel is what OP is posting.

>>4327759
pseudo-pretitious

Get the fuck out.

>>4327768
After you good sir.

I've just began reading Georges Bataille's Story of the Eye, and I feel it's warped my view. It is a rather pornographic work, yet it has considerable intellectual merit. It concerns a teenage couple who engage in perverse sexual acts. During one chapter, the narrator describes a car accident as partly horrific and partly beautiful. What a strange juxtaposition. Further more, one line has struck me, yet I cannot comprehend why. It is such: "I beseech you not to send the police after me for I am carrying a gun, and the first bullet will be for the policeman, the second for myself."

>>4327787
le edgemaster 3000

>>4327297
please continue. you sounded so edgy it's hilarious

>>4327525

Iunno man, she cornered the mainstream market on diary based literature.

>>4327831
Yeah and deservedly so, there was some really surprisingly deep shit in there for a kid to have written, really mature stuff that added perspective to the whole war and suffering of the Jews. Can't believe a kid wrote that. Talented girl.

this is making me cringe so much

>>4327297
Looks you tipped your fedora a little too hard there.

>>4327534
>Marisha Pessl
Isn't that a Pynchon's character?

-my buttocks rests on the seat.

-my buttocks is forcing itself to rest on the seat.

-my ass hangs between the sliver of fabric that is my pants, and the rest is the seat.

-there’s my ass, and there’s also a chair.

-my ass and a chair make friends.
-my ass and the chair it is resting on begin a quiet conversation
-my ass and the chair begin a battle when I sit
-my ass forces itself upon the chair, although the chair was designed for my ass to be resting upon it
-despite the design of the chair, my ass continues to force itself upon the slight carriage of the seat
-there is no regard to the comfort of the seat, upon my asses need to rest upon its face

>>4327922
>not mentioning your ass being consciously congruent to the chair

full pleb

I'll post an entry from my teenage diary I still keep because I have nothing better to do.

I've noticed that as you age, some escort their insecurities along. I've noticed this a lot, actually. My teachers worrying about their weight, never eating in public, eating a half a doughnut while the students eat two or three. Being late for class, seeing them always walking out of the restroom after lunch. Worrying about not being smart enough, ignoring students who point out insightful things because they did not think of it first. Dad always checking his scalp in the mirror and asking me if it's gotten any bigger.
I don't know why. It's ironic because you'd think adults would be strong and okay with themselves and their imperfections.
It's really sad, actually. That adults haven't learned that it is okay to be human.
Yes, as you age things slow down, things become imperfect because you're prone to lesion solely by existing. Your metabolism cocoons. God turns your shell into a cracked desert. Your cognition becomes worn by time.
Maybe the problem lies in their self-perception. Maybe they have unattainable standards for aesthetics. And no one can fix that.
But maybe the problem lies in us. We want, sometimes expect, everyone else to be disinfected. We ponder in hospitals with our own lesions, wondering where the doctor is when the nurse is next door, monitoring small talk.
We have a hard time looking past the damage of age. I think that's what sets children and adults apart in that sense; children do not disregard those with wrinkles because they do not see their insecurities secured in someone else. With adults, they exclude those who exhibit what they dislike in themselves. It's like looking in a mirror, where your reflection is a hyperbole because their flaws are exacerbated by their vulnerability.

This is what made me sad today.

>>4327951

u should be a psychologist or something

>>4327951
by your vulnerability*

>>4327831
I don't know why but that made me lol

>>4327951
That was really insightful.

>>4327953
Something tells me this post is sarcastic.

tl;dr does he fuck any hot bitches or what

>>4327961
Thank you. I was really interested in people when I was a teenager, still am. Did a lot of analyzing.

>>4327962
Since OP seems to want someone to listen to boring shit from his childhood, a psychologist would be perfect for him.

>>4327672
holy shit when did these get good
>dick in hand

>The idea of being vulgar repulses me, yet I wish to myself around his shaft.
>yet I wish to myself around his shaft.
>wish to myself around his shaft.

>>4327966
just read one of his sentences and take your own conclusions

>>4327951
nice

>>4327966
>>4327983
>he
>his
>im-fucking-plying

>start a journal of my own when I'm 17
>do one entry and give up
>check it again one or two years later
>all it is is me saying I'm going to start a journal, listing my weight, and then saying I refuse to gain another pound and that I'm going to work it down
>I listed it as 246.5 lbs.
>I lose my shit and weigh myself right then
>165 lbs.
>mfw fuck the journal

>>4328025
Anon, he's just gay. We shouldn't judge.

>>4328046
>tampons and periods
Is this a thing gays do now? I don't keep on degeneracy like I used to. I mean to visit /pol/ more, but there's only so many hours in the day.

I used alot of poetics back then but its still covered with edges

1. I reckon. I reckon that the stars contain souls of long ago saints that shone with such heavenly exaltation that they burst. I reckon that the earth was shaped on the tip of a pin driven through Eternity. I reckon water nymphs exist in our saliva and hold dances on our tastebuds to help us chew. I reckon a pixie tugs at our hair to make us spit at passers-by in the street.

2. There can only be nothing in hell. The souls play skipping rope with absence. The damned read books of dull imagination. Dante did not walk the Circles but walked in circles, chanting expletives at a gloomy Virgil. Lucifer sleeps. Nothing is sin. Greed is void. Lust is null. Pride is blank. Envy is zero. Wrath is hollow. Gluttony is vapor. Sloth reigns. The damned commit to nothing, achieve nothing ,chase after nothing, wallow in nothing, born with nothing they die with nothing.

This was after I read Pessoa's Book of Disquiet I think.

And this is why I never kept a diary.

>>4328125
A notebook is useful for any writer though. Just one that you write in whenever you feel like it.

>>4328139
I keep a notebook for whenever I feel like writing but journals/diaries never appealed to me. Every example I've ever read was far too open, plain for everyone to understand exactly what a writer is thinking. I enjoy a tad more complexity than that. I'd have to own a journal/diary of mediocre poetry.

>>4327297

Now I feel compelled to make a diary. Thanks you bunch of faggots.

ITT: Bait, the thread

>tfw girlfriend has admitted to writing about me in her journal on multiple occasions before and during our relationship

And I can't decide whether not being allowed to read her thoughts is a good or a bad thing.

Oh, god, I had similar shit to write in during angsty edgy mood in me teens. I wish I had this notebook right now. Reading this shit alone would make you grow a fedora out of your head.
I was already predicting the catastrophic fall of European civilization filled with materialism and degeneracy, and demise of white man despite never being to /pol/, not even 4chan. Also edgy social Darwinism shit and nihilism. All written while not knowing Nietzsche yet.
Had I been born in 19th century, I would have been a known thinker, I bet ya.

>>4327297
I don't see a problem with this. With slightly different wording this is probably the most reasonable text I've seen here with all this dualism and Aquinas zen bullshit.

>>4328427
this would be*

>>4328419

So you were basically a proto /pol/ack?

Because there are 20-something year olds on there who still believe that shit.

>>4328472
what do you mean still believe? the fall of european civilization and the demise of white man is reality.

>>4328485
of course anon, of course

>>4327951
10/10 made me ponder

>>4328526
White civilization are becoming more brown, objectively. Brown societies are inferior, objectively.

Something has happened to me, I can’t doubt it anymore. It came as an illness does, not like an ordinary certainty, not like anything evident. It came cunningly, little by little; I felt a little strange, a little put out, that’s all. Once established it never moved, it stayed quiet, and I was able to persuade myself that nothing was the matter with me, that it was a false alarm. And now, it’s blossoming....

>>4328571
Obviously if White civilization is becoming more Brown, objectively, then White civilization must be inferior to Brown societies. Oh, does your social Darwinism end where your feelings begin? :)

>somehow amassed a collection of diaries via birthday gifts throughout childhood despite never using them
>as a teenager, decide to finally try write in one
>only entry ever:
"Sewer pipe burst in DT today or something, fucking reeked, took like half an hour before we figured it out, when shit water came up under the sinks. Not shit-shit, more like ass bile. But we bludged in the computer lab the rest of class so all in all pretty cool."

I've journalled over 600 days between the ages of 14-16 and 17-18. I'll post a few of my more angsty/reflective pieces of codswallop-edginess if people wish. Mostly it was just lamenting my bullying.

>>4328607
That cracker got wrekt as fuck

Bump.

>>4328607
>Rabbits are "superior" to other animals because they breed faster and don't care about anything else.

>>4331185
>Rabbits
>AKA human beings

It doesn't matter what the human race will look like in the future. (Futuristic fashion trends may allow for purple skinned teens with translucent tattoos to go back to being blonde haired green eyed adults) What matters most is their quality of life, and I for one want them to have it better than we do now.

>this entire thread

>>4327320
>>4327399
>>4327912
>>4328214
What's everyone's deal? The kid's 15; we needn't think him intelligent, only adorable.

>>4327471
>my deformed body with its bulges of fat
And there goes your sympathy.

>>4327672
Goddamnit, I thought you were gay for a second and was getting all ready to empathize, but now I don't care at all, even if I'm still going to read these through.

>>4328598
Wait a fucking second
This is from Nausea.
Holy shit this b8 is the gr8 to r8
16 year old grill who quotes Sartre

10/10 OP, you rustled my shit

>>4328626
Go to bed, Thomas Pynchon.

Will save this thread with the diary of my 15 year-old self.

12 February

It was too cold today. My hands were blue throughout the day, and only one way was practical and enjoyable enough for me to make them warmer. Indeed, it soon became a process of self-induced ejaculation rather than a process of warming the skin and what it holds. Life can be so ridiculous and ironic, but I can’t help but feel that it is also funny. Isn’t it ridiculously funny that you spend your time accumulating the perfect image in your head to ejaculate to, and a fraction of a millisecond later you start to despise women- except that One, you know who! It’s really hilarious. The human body, and it’s bio-chemical nature- whatever that is- can be ironically stupid with its allergies. And especially the male body with its releasal of prolactin- dopamin’s enemy- exactly while ejaculating. Women have it easy as their bodies don’t release prolactin- the lucky ones- but then again, they get their periods and they get pregnant, so I guess it’s fairly okay. Such things force me to believe that on some level life is fare, of course, after putting all the children dying of hunger and illness away.

>>4331621
You realize that there is no basis for OP's age other than this thread and there is also no physical evidence of OP's journal beside their image file, which you cannot even read. Who is to say that OP isn't just typing all this shit up as "she" goes along as part of some postmo journal narrative she spent her entire time in graduate school coming up with? For all we know this could be a farce perpetuated by someone in their thirties.

>>4331647
You are literally the worst person here.
Maybe even worse than OP.
You are why we can't have nice things in literature.
tl;dr
Go to bed Tao

>>4331644
22 December

We all agreed to meet near the grocery store in the morning, but I stood there all by myself. I kept moving around the whole time, wasting it by keeping a close eye of every buttocks that moved near me and bosoms that shook before me. I kept my radar on. I must’ve spent a lot of time there. It was cold, but not too cold. I was so mad that even my neighbor’s firm breasts and pillow-esque buttocks couldn’t remove the crack between my brows. I seriously wanted to abuse them with all the wrath there is; I wanted to ignore that God existed for a while, just to show them what’s it like to stand in the streets waiting. Five minutes later they all came together without Adam- his aunt died that morning.

>>4331644
>women
pleb

>>4331652
Tao? I don't understand that insult. Be honest, I am at least the fourth worst person here. Tripfags, OP, and 16 year-olds who want to discuss Dostoyevsky are definitely worse. I was merely trying to sour the praise OP is getting, because honestly this thread is crap. Yes that gives me the right to post on it, because it is crap.

>>4331655
Should I stop, /lit/?

>>4331669
No, please, keep going.

>>4331669
I think we've just lost our enthusiasm; for teenage diaries in general, not just yours, even if I do like yours.

>>4331686
I will however post few more, just in case some people still haven't lost their enthusiasm, like >>4331677

17, May

School was terrible. I feel like I’m falling into the mundane abyss of having today and tomorrow the same as yesterday. Rituals can kill you. I did a bet with Tony today; we won’t masturbate till the end of this month and whoever loses will suffer. This doesn’t mean anything, but it’s an attempt to break the routine. I plan on doing more things to break the ungodly string of routine. I want to get a girlfriend. I want to touch her special areas, but I’m not sure I want to be in a relationship with someone who would let me do as such. I’m in a conundrum. Life, and its misery- ah! I really want to cuddle stuff.

>>4331707
Aw, you're so sweet. Keep going, you've got my attention.

>>4328095
It's unnecessarily edgy at times but I find it good.

>>4331655

I love this

>>4331707
15, September

Went to the beach with the boys. It was fantastic. Although I don’t really enjoy swimming, merely being there is enjoyable: all the beauties with their divine bodies. All I want is just few hours with them. Surely it wasn’t possible, so I had to do it my way: I saw near them and made some ridiculous actions and faces to grab their attention, while one of the boys went down and got them undressed- the bras are more fragile that tony’s aunt. It didn’t always work; the best result was a 50 year-old’s side-breast. I don’t understand Adam and his fascination with old women; I never invite him when my grandma is over though she has a foot in her grave already. Making faces was my specialty, but I only accepted to embarrass myself that way because I didn’t have the courage to go try to undress them myself. I should also say that I did attempt one thing risky; the obligatory risky attempt in which I do a thing outside my nature. I do feel a bit disgusted with myself now, but I had to. I tried to ejaculate in the pool. I made sure no one was there at all. I couldn’t. To play with my stick in the presence of water is always difficult for me; I consider it a bliss in disguise.

>>4331736
Did you have a sex change or something? Yesterday you were talking about tampons and periods.

>>4331707
Excuse my vulgarity, but these weren't actually supposed to end here. Anyway, I should also add this:

18, May

Lost the bet.

>>4331743
No, I'm a male.

>>4331747
>something, something tampons
You're odd for your gender.

>>4331752
I am not OP. I don't think I ever mentioned tampons.

>>4331757
...carry on then, I guess.

>>4331736
21, August

I am growing lazier by the minute. It’s not healthy, but it doesn’t matter. The weather is too hot to go outside, which forces me to remain in bed, and consequently to play my bad games alone, by myself. I should really do some changes because nothing worth noting happened today. Well, I did fall in the toilet, but it’s not worth noting. My elbow almost got shattered. Tomorrow, I must plan something, a trip or something- I must get out. Remaining indoors is unhealthy and it makes me ill at heart. Will see the boys tomorrow to plan something.

>>4331774
23, August

Played football for around three hours. I felt flaccid when it was over. I ran throughout the three hours- all of them. Remaining exhausted in bed for the rest of the day wasn’t the most comfortable thing for me. I’m extremely tired now. I don’t think I should really have a girlfriend because I’m not a good talker, I’d force her to become dry and lazy. I don’t know what to do, but I know one day I must have a family; it is a social necessity today regardless of how I feel. Plus, the sex and the hugging afterwards. Going out all the time has helped, but I must talk more and become even more social as a person for my development. I must start enjoying parties and useless chatter, I don’t know if really want to though. Ah, football.

Probably the last one; they're becoming boring now.

>>4328526
>Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
you are a mod, aren't you?
i hope you're not because you wouldn't be a fair one

Honestly, OP, good for you for posting this. I threw out most of my old writing/diaries out of shame. And I do regret it. You can learn a lot from things you thought as a kid. Keep these forever.

>>4331686
>I think we've just lost our enthusiasm; for teenage diaries in general, not just yours, even if I do like yours.
>we've just lost our enthusiasm; for teenage diaries in general
>;
excuse me sir, what the fuck are you doing?

I wrote a diary from 15 till 17 and it's not edgy at all. It mostly revolves around this girl I liked, oh the days.

Anyway this thread reads like a badly written Catcher in the Rye

>>4331743
can't you tell it's a different anon?

>>4332000
nice

>>4327885
that's because her dad did m8

>tfw you prudently destroyed all artefacts of anything relating to me since ever including all writing, drawing and pictures

The past is for faggots.

>>4332031
>tfw the file switch thing happens to you
>tfw there's a pic of a pig with sunglasses on /sp/ or something somewhere

>>4331979
That wasn't me. I don't keep any HItler pics. Someone started that rumor the other day, but I am not a moderator. I would be fair one if I were though.

>>4332032
It's most likely from /soc/. All they do is cirlejerk about their excuses of a personality

>>4331793
26, August

I discovered Dubstep last night and, consequently, had a spiritual epiphany. I never knew sound could be so raw, beckoning some dark metaphysical other from another realm. This morning I discovered somebody ate the rest of my Reese's Puffs. I angrily ruminated over this fact for the next 30 minutes. I don't know why I even bother. Boltanski thinks Capitalism will subsume our revolutionary efforts but, nevertheless, I put on my Franz Fanon shirt and got ready for school. Why doesn't anyone understand me?

>>4332115
That's not me.
Nice try.

>>4332031
I did this too, now I feel bad. I find things from my past every so often and it feels weird because they're things I realize were important to me, but I'd entirely forgotten about.

>>4332130

Every like 5 years, I have a massive clean out where I look through all my old shit and try to cull some of it.
I usually spend most of the day reminiscing, only getting rid of like 10% of the shit that had been sitting abandoned in a drawer for 5 years.
So it's more of a reminiscing day that a clean out day. But in a way that makes more sense, since it gives the items a reason for still being there, since it means I'm still technically using them - as opposed to just deciding "I'll keep you forever" and never actually looking at them again.