/lit/ - Literature

>>4061791

2/?

>>4061794

>>4061791
because you're a published author?

>>4061797

>>4061799

What the deuce did you just fucking say about me, you uncouth plebeian? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Cambridge English Literature, been involved in numerous 17th century book analyses, and I have over 300 confirmed interpretations of Ulysses' first page. I am trained in critical reading and and am the top critic in the entire USA literati. You are nothing to me but just another pretentious teenager. I will criticise your shitty poems and prose with intellectual wit and fury that hasn't been seen since Oscar Wilde. You think you can escape retribution because you're using a medium devoid of culture? Think again, pleb. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of librarians across the USA and your library ID is being traced right now so you should prepare for the revenge, you filthy urchin. The revenge that will remove all the trash manga and graphic novels from your library. You're banished to /h/, serf. I can read any language from any period in history, and I can theorise over seven hundred philosophical reasons for the meaning of life, and that's just when I assume there is no God. Not only am I erudite and well read, but I have access to all shelves of the United States Library of Congress and I will use it to its full extent to clean the academic community of your exrecable presence, you little philistine. If you only you had the critical thinking skills to know what vengeance your rejoinder would render upon you, perhaps you would have stayed clandestine. But you failed, you floundered, and now you're going to face my fury, you feckless, fustian fool. I will logically destroy you and you will beg for mercy. You're pulp now, lout.

>>4061802

Every time I see a DFW thread, I just shake my head and laugh.

You severely damaged losers are literally the Bronies of /lit/. You know, that sub-group of 4chan kids who obsess over the preschool girl show My Little Pony? You probably don't know since all of you pathetic losers are far too busy fapping to footnotes and wishing that DFW faked his suicide.

Why on earth would a group of you no-lives cling heavily to something as sad as him? Is there some sort of mental sickness in you guys? Did you not have a childhood? Do you not have a grasp on reality? How can you allow yourselves to deteriorate to this?

At first, I figured it was one lonely kid making these threads and bumping all day while crying in the basement for being such a useless waste of life... but then, I realized this isn't one kid doing this. There are at least fifteen of you in these threads that are getting hard over his Pynchon-lite-rature. There isn't any doubt that all of you autists are fat, out of shape, and friendless.

Is that the thrill you kids get from these threads? Is it the fact that you can laugh and write and can't even get off of your bed to empty out your piss bottle? Do you not realize that this board doesn't exist for you and to wank over a guy who can’t write or think? If not, then WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FIXATION?

I'm speaking for /lit/ as a whole, and possibly, your families as well. Just stop. This isn't healthy. Stop now and try to live a regular life. How embarrassed must your family feel when they have to explain to your aunt and uncle that you want them to die of AIDs, and yet, you can hardly even breathe.

Just stop already. Quit with the silly threads. OP, delete this thread. Kids, clear your browser history and delete all the files you have of a dead washed up ‘writer’.

I am telling you this because I am empathetic and I care. Please listen to me.

I'm so confused. Are you trying to act like a "patrician", making fun of "patricians", or just trolling?

>>4061802

Thanks for making this board all the shittier OP

The Pokemon puns are still the best original contributions to this board

"The Machamp of Venice" "One Hundred Years of Geodude" "The Man Without Caterpies"

You can't beat this stuff

>>4061878
MORE PLEASE

Mr. Mime Kampf still makes me chuckle after all this time

>>4061884
Nidoqueen Eighty-Four

>>4061884
If on a wigglytuff's night a graveler

There was this guy who wrote a bunch of yo momma sonnets in perfect iambic pentameter and they're still not as funny as the Pokemon puns

>I've contributed more /lit/ OC than anyone on this board.

Oh wow OP you're so cool. I wish my life was like yours.

I take screenshots about /lit/ things.
My labor is more humble, I'm like some kind of section of /lit/'s memory.
BEHOLD

>>4061878