/lit/ - Literature

Three of you downloaded Sinner's Descent. lol.

>>22636135
>doesn't already know exactly where his story will end
I do, I'm just doing a little joke hehe

>>22636996
Tee hee I know but I like taking advantage of excuses to educate all the rank beginners

Link to the /Writing General/ National Novel Writing Month server! It’s almost time for November’s grand prize to be revealed! We have almost everyone from /wg/ in here! Don’t miss out on /wg/‘s biggest event ever!

https://discord.gg/MrV6TN5Q

I sent two queries out today. Now we play the waiting game.

>>22637086
Downloading your transcript right now. Say goodbye to your fame anon

>>22637191
You were my Waterloo, hacker known as 4chan

https://pastebin.com/pqehpA0J
rate and critique
does it interest you?

>>22637488
>Sulli
>Bar named Yves
You aint slick. But it's alright, better than a lot of dialogue-heavy pieces that pop up here but still very green. My main turn-off is with the tense, but that's just a personal gripe.
>does it interest you?
I'd definitely read more of it, but how much more I don't know

>>22637521
believe it or not I very rarely keep the final names of anything I write as a draft
Its much easier just to write whatever name comes up first in my head then spend hours thinking of a name

>>22637488
No, it reads like you added detail to something that chatgpt generated.

I’m going to do nanowrimo this November. Any tips from people who have done it already?

https://pastebin.com/5NWyeR2Y

Finally got around to finishing this scene. It's my first attempt at writing a fight, and I wanted to get the physics down if that makes sense. Though I wasn't really sure how to end it.
I'm looking for any advice, but I also want to specifically ask, based on the descriptions here, what's your estimation of Misha's size and weight? And what's your estimation of her opponent's weight?

>>22637750
moi?

>>22637488
why do you avatarfag?

>>22637775
I have no idea of either, when I read I generally don't make size estimations of the characters unless there is a direct comparison of them in the writing.
>She froze mid-throw and wide-eyed.
is grammatically wrong.
As a whole, advice-wise, I would cut all these paragraph long descriptions into various sentences and cut 99% of your commas out. What I'm assuming is that you want to have your action sequence be fast-paced and filled with twist and turns and this would help it, if you are doing something else than ignore my advice.

>>22636941
IT'S UP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhTG0QhRFHQ

>>22637826
how is this question related to writing?

>hear about a new horror novel thats pretty good
>Mary-an-awakening-of-terror.jpg
>that sounds pretty interesting
>finish it
>author has an afterword explaining why it was okay to write a book with an older female protagonist going through menopause because he's a piece of shit man who's experienced the patriarchy from the other side
I guess authors have to kowtow everytime they write a book with characters that doesn't fit into their specified gender/race/ethnicity now....

What if my writing isn't good enough

>>22637890
what does your process look like to improve?

>>22637892
I don't know, I've only just realised my writing is shite. I'm in a downward spiral

>>22637898
ngmi if you don't want to improve
some asshole is out their just as shitty as you but in a day he will be better than you because he wants it more

>>22637911
LET ME FEEL THINGS

>>22637924
not only does he have a bigger dick, a hotter girlfriend, and a LOT more money, he's about to be a better writer than you

>>22637898
Yeah, that's a tough realization.
Do you read a lot?
It's not uncommon to have your ability to write plateau while your ability to evaluate writing increases. When this happens everything you've ever written looks like garbage.

But if you keep pushing it will get better.

>>22637069
Do we really have Mike Ma in here or is that guy pretending to be him?

I want to write a short story that feels like the ending credits of a show/anime/movie series you really enjoyed.
Its over now, you had a lot of fun, but you feel somewhat sad because this is the end. Theres thing you wish wouldve gone differently but they didnt and nothing will change it now.

I want to write a detective story set on a ship in the middle of the 19th century

>>22637939
>It's not uncommon to have your ability to write plateau while your ability to evaluate writing increases. When this happens everything you've ever written looks like garbage.
nta but this is where im at as an adult, long-time reader who's only now getting in to creative writing.
like "yea dude, i know exactly how to ride a bike. you just.." and then i get on and crash immediately

To make things short I am writing a fanasty novel where there is 3 kingdoms and a holy land in the middle and they all fight over it

However the reason they fight over it a majory of the time is because schizophenia runs strong in their royal familys and they think they can hear the messiah/god they worship and then all the other kingdoms get mad because they think they are the only ones who can speak to the messiah and the other kingdoms get mad and say their rewriting history or that is not what the god/messiah would have said, so they end up fighting over the holy land because 1 or all them have schizo and they fight over who's right and not right

thoughts anons?

>>22638223
>Israel/Palestine
Also it seems kind of unnecessary to make them schizo if it's a fantasy story, you can just come up with another reason that's a bigger plot point

>>22637834
Thanks, and I'm probably going to do the whole remove 10% of the words thing to try to make it snappier since I often fall into over-description.

I also thought that instead of starting with it just standing, I'd write it rolling around a corner and sizing the two of them up. Describing it doing something is more engaging than simply saying what it looks like.

>>22638215
its hard because writing as a whole takes more than just describing whats in your head (although thats a major part)

1) Coming up with ideas
2) Consistency in writing everyday
3) Ability to see through with a story
4) Ability to describe something
5) Ability to construct a story
6) Ability to understand who is going to read your novel and enough empathy to see what they will feel

I'm sure there are other things that need to be focused on, but these are just some I've come to realize go into writing.

I need to make my own publication. I have been telling myself for years that I would do this but I’m so bad at completing things. I literally just want it to be a little printed thing I can leave in public places.

>>22638146
That feeling only works if it's got a whole good episode behind it.

I'm literally making it bros

>>22638769
link your rr

>>22638223
this whole "reinterpreting historical figures through the lens of modern psychopathology" thing is a little trite at this point no?

How the FUCK am I supposed to read widely and write productively w/ a full-time job?

I will see her crawling to me. She will be prickling with bent knees and ankles. Delicious when theyve been curdled into such angels. Nothing but arms and legs she is as the old sort of illustrated suns. Mobility sags in its seat but getting stuckness perks up. that confetti of narrow stripes and dashes is rapt to walls and corners, easily caught down and to the sides.
Now sitting on the kitchen floor. despairing over the cleanliness and sneering pleasentness about these tiktok cooking clips.
like starbucks, everything is constantly getting dirty, I sermonize to her. Now
scabbing dinner plate mirrors around the walls around her to trap her in specular pollance. She wriggles and rollbacks to escape the constitutional absolutism of that "everything is always getting dirtied", like a streetpole shaven into a needle it blankets the air. A columnated noo coos from her. A no in two notes. One rising and falling, or in the other order, probably. One likely higher than the other. A no in two notes. For no two of her nos were ever the same note. and to know one no was not to know two, for two was too different in pitch, speed, and character of alarm.
The round red fire engines or those northeastern townly yellow ones, pictured now going up hills. This noo was red in character, and she stood up and curseyed slightly- "what about me?". Strange how she was able to do that while sitting on the floor with me. I was in a soft peril with this for a while.

we took down a tent in our living room. From the corners of the 4 walls, ceiling, and well we simply unplugged the tent spikes and folded up the wallpaper, and then rolled the spikes and tent nunchuks together with the annotated readings submitted to canva into those little tent bags, so without the spirit of bags, as they can only be used to carry this specific tentacled mass of plastic fabric and spikes. Tent owners would never be in such a waver as to need to emigrate bags and the contents of bags. From here, the tent was completed, plapping beneath the rim of a great rug we found at an antiques storage facility in the midst of our living room. Having no soil we tinked the staves into the entourage of potted plants around, being careful to plunge them directly into the crux of their root systems. Shaking and shuddering, i showed her the scene in transformers 3 where the giant sandworm like decepticon assaults a skyscraper. How formula rules hadnt taken root yet and the desks chairs and office mache were avoiding air like an office floor had been sat on its side and all the office chairs and stools were falling across the floor. the flightfulness of them as dry leaves on pavement. "But wet leaves wouldnt fall so" she ached out. Then we wet the corners of the tent. I said no.

>>22639041
We set up a roomba to sortie around the apartment with a phone that would play howls and groans shrieks and caws at random places along the shifting bank of night. Such fear, which was for pretend but also still for real in the slim moments after waking and cracking apart the torpid glaze of asleep (the shards of which fell to be fed upon by shrunken down sleep psychologists for weeks) drew our extremities down to a simmer, barged our heart and certain glistening nerves around it to a spat, as the spat a black woman might give in public if she knows shes being recorded. And next we must hold eachother close. Another groan, Doppler's gamble pays double. I jettisen my arms out such that i am above her. "I should check it out" . "No" she bawls- banding my arm, than my ankle as i peep through the flaps of the tent.

>>22639032
You're not.

>>22639071
Is it possible

>>22639090
Yes but you're going to need to sacrifice other parts of your life

>>22639092
Like what? I have no social life to give up

>have all the time in the world to write
>write for only 1 hour at most, and spend rest of time reading or otherwise distracted
>writing is one of the few things in life that gives me genuine happiness and a sense of fulfillment
>still don't do it
What is wrong with me other than autism?

>>22638223
>le religion but it's actually subverted because they're all insane!
At this point writing a straight religious story would be more subversive.

>>22639094
Depends entirely on your own schedule and what you're currently doing, I stopped playing video games because I needed more time to read and write

>>22639096
Fear of failure, I'd wager

>>22637488
As usual, it's not authentic and I can't give you the benefit of the doubt knowing it's short story slop that you won't ever develop.
You won't ever develop.

thoughts on only using as and never using like whenever a like/as is called for?

>>22639043
>>22639041
this is really well written, but sort of confusing.
lots of mis-spellings and malapropisms.
interesting read, but i wish something was actually happening or would reach some sort of conclusion.

>>22628753
>>22629250
I took your guys advice, what do you think of the passage now?

I tried to make the dialogue less expositional, with the exception of the apology as Lady Jane is apologizing for the specific things she did, and for the offer as the terms need to be highlighted.

I also tried to remove some redundancy in the wording although I'm not quite sure I got them all.

I wanted Sarin to eventually come to enjoy Jane again, although he outwardly does not admit it to her and he leaves her constantly feeling insecure in their marriage. That's why I wanted him to be cold towards her in this conversation, rather than angry, because I feel like apathy would be more hurtful than anger, since anger means he cares at least in some manner.

Also I'm not sure if "tokens of affection" is quite the right term, but it seemed like it fit. I originally put "romantic gifts" but I thought it was a bit too literal or mechanical in description.

How does /wg/ feel about adverbs? I'm starting to become extremely self-conscious of whenever I see one in my work because half the time the context of the scene already implies the adverb, and the other half, a singular word like "snapped" for "answered sharply" just works out better. Are they a shortcut, or a violation of show-don't-tell, or can they work?

>>22639378
is he marrying a bitch who already has a kid?
doesnt seem very swaggering scoundrel pirate king-like to me

>>22639402
no no, Filomena is the Corsair Prince Sarin's daughter. Jane is childless at the moment.

I imagine a dynamic similar to Alicent and Rhaenyra from the books.

>>22639397
Fear of adverbs is an irrational taboo. Just don't overload your sentences.

>>22639146
http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/07/26/like-vs-as/

>>22639397
I sometimes use adverbs ironically, but they have no place in any serious text.

I was world building some spells to make it clear and consistent for my books
over the months I added more and more when I was bored
now I have a 45 page spellbook for 13 elements.
Nowhere else to share and nobody will ever see it, so it kinda sucks.

Unironically its the greatest magic system Ive ever seen, if this was present in an MMORPG Id play it till Id die.

The only flaws are that its very complex for a magic system, and that there are a lot of status effects which could make gameplay annoying.

Ill give some small examples.
Blood magics spells are enhanced if the target is bleeding or in a pool of blood, and their effects can cause spasms to interrupt spell casts. It is mainly suited for 1v1 combat, where it out-sustains other elements.
Chrono magic can basically cheat, reset cooldowns, double cast a spell, set a casting time to 0.
Ice magic is all skill shots and if you can freeze someone it ensures you can hit all your other spells. For this reason is works really well with Poison magic because you can constantly delay your opponent while the poisons kill them.
Electricity magic is all high mana cost and bursty, but it lacks decent AoE and has no status effects besides paralysis.
Pyro magic is all AoE and high damage but it has relatively long casting times and slow projectiles, makin them difficult to hit

>>22639679
Sounds stupid and completely broken.

>>22639679
>Nowhere else to share
perhaps the worldbuilding general?
>but it lacks decent AoE
can it chain though

have you tested how it would work to use them, are they balanced?

>>22639689
theres also a lot of counters to make it all about timing and prediction. Essentially if this existed in a game, you would master 2 elements. in combat you would have to cast your counters at the right timing, and if possible interrupt their spellcasts at the right timings.
>aqua magic has a spell that can absorb most incoming spells and send them back
>aqua magic also has a bubble shield to negate damage of a spell and a bunch of weaker shield
>light magic basically as an element exists entirely to undo whatever else someone did to you or your allies
>ice magic has a hibernation/ice tomb spell that negates a single incoming spell
>wind magic has a targeted spell that destroys spells
>arcane magic has a teleportation spell so you can basically avoid almost anything (of course you would save it for their strongest spells)

>>22639691
Ill give it a go, thanks
I cant test them, Im just working of my experience in a myriad of MMORPGs, RPGs and MOBAs

Id say the fundamental difference is that I didnt try to make anything exclusive. Theres 5 elements that have access to shields, but theyre all different.
In most games/universes the creators want shields to be a locked to one element, and then a different element gets healing.

>>22639704
>theres also a lot of counters to make it all about timing and prediction
In short, characters win or lose based only on the author's whims, not because it makes sense mechanically, since the uses of your bullshit system boils down to whoever pulls the trigger first

>>22639755
thats the case for literally any fiction. its always supposed to be relatively even for suspense and balance purposes.

however, in my setting, the most powerful light mage could never defeat an equally powerful dark mage, because light magic is defensively oriented

for elements like blood vs dark vs fire its more even though and could go anyway

>>22639762
>thats the case for literally any fiction
Not in well written fiction, where the building blocks are established and arranged in such a way that the outcome is logical and natural, and isn't all, "w-well he just got lucky now and now he didn't!"

Thinking of going the Royal Road route with my novel, but I'm torn since 90% of what I see hit Popular this week and Rising Stars is LitRPG, while there's more of a mix in Best Completed and Ongoing. It's an Urban fantasy/Supernatural story that takes place mainly in the modern world at first, but eventually the characters travel between it and a post-apocalyptic world with more fantasy elements. Several of the main characters also have elemental powers and train to improve them, so maybe it could be tagged with progression?

>>22640001
If you want strangers to suck your dick, going to craigslist might be more reliable.

Why should I keep trying after more than a decade of failures? I've written my heart out, and it went for nothing. People tell me that I need to get my depression in check, that I need antidepressants or therapy, but what good will that do? It won't solve the problem of my failures, it'll just make me feel better about being a total failure. I think I'd rather just kill myself one of these days. My wife and kids will be better off without me anyway.

>>22640010
hey buddy wrong thread >>22635288

My editing style is like a fucking scattershot. I can't just follow the story along and edit as I go. I do like page 1, 130, 12, 78, 220, 34 etcetc it's really bad.

>>22640010
what kind of stuff do you write?

>>22640010
Did you work hard or did you work right?

>>22640005
Okay, but what if I want people to read my work and potentially make some profit from patreon with the dick sucking being optional?

>>22640010
Write a story that actually has your life's emotions, the feelings, the lessons, the struggle and what you want to achieve. Doesn't have to be an autobiography, story can be about anything, but make it person.

>>22636941
Is horror writing dead? I'm a novice writer with an idea for a novel, but is there even a market for it?

>>22640010
Clown mental. Before you suicide you may as well TRY other things. Living elsewhere, hermit lifestyle, drugs, there are so many avenues to attempt before you give in a end it all for good you fuck. You'd be goofy to ice yourself over a book.

>>22640001
Sounds like RR is not the place for your novel. The audience there now is very rigid in what it wants.

>>22640283
creepypastas are the most prolific storywroting genre on youtube

>>22640320
That may very well be, but this is a novel, not a short horribly written blurb about moon landing tapes in a McDonald's.

>>22640328
how do you know its an idea for a novel if youre a novice
how about just making it a short story

Can I post something I wrote long ago? I wonder if it's actually good or total slop. It should be able to fit within one post but isn't a complete story or anything.

>Formatting change
>Book is no longer 220 pages
>Book is now 320 pages
Hmm.

>>22640388
Of course you can, but people might not be interested in it.

>>22640375
Too much story to fit into a short blurb

>>22640406
This is why measuring length in pages is retarded

>>22640428
I'll give it a shot and drop it in here then:

After miles I came upon the place I'd been determined to be. The woods that had been near the local park. It was empty, the gray and cloudy day making the world look as dead as ever.
The cries and screams of joy from the children that had once played in the local park once before was but a remnant of the past, and yet the eerie echos of their voices as they traveled through the air of the cloudy and gray day had persisted.
They were unrestrained by the shackles of time. Whether that be ten years ago or yesterday It didn't matter.

I came upon those woods. Before me was a dense image of claustrophobia filled with trees of similar sizes and shapes, their leaves completely gone, the entire area feeling lifeless without an ounce of subtley. The grass itself seemed desaturated. It'd be impossible for me to give an estimate as to how many there were, it could've stretched into infinity for all I cared or known. The breeze was chilly and so too was the air, each breath had felt midly uncomfortable. I'd prefer if such a thing could not be said regarding it's feeling upon my skin leaving my exposed parts at the mercy of the biting wind chill. The woods had beckoned me to come in closer, as if it had something intended for myself and myself alone. I pushed on.

I was looking for something. Something very near and dear to me.
Despite the foreboding atmosphere, I carried on. Some part of me didn't care as to what had been around me and rather fixated as to what I was looking for.

Each of my steps had crunched on the leaves that had once undoubtedly been upon these trees. Crunching oranges and reds. The woods had felt claustrophobic and dense, almost suffocating, perhaps for the average person. One could easily get lost here, but my heart, whatever bit there was left of it, had known where to go. It was dead quiet and empty in these woods, almost as if not a single creature or being had been here for years. Only me and the crunching of the leaves to keep me company.

I finally had my business meeting this morning. Anyone need a cheap editor?

>>22640519
Link your stuff fren

>>22640266
Sword and sorcery and horror are the two I enjoy writing
>>22640269
I guess you'd have to tell me what you think the difference between the two is before I could answer
>>22640281
I'm honestly not sure I know how. I don't think there's very much I know how to do.
>>22640284
It's not just the writing, there's plenty of other things that I've failed at. But this is the writing general so I'm focusing on that.

>>22640628
>the difference between the two
Imagine you're working on a construction site. Your job is to get toilet bowls up into the building's 8 storeys.
Do you:
>Work hard and carry the toilet bowls up the stairs
or
>Work right and take them up in an elevator
Carrying them up the stairs is much harder work. Do you think that working harder produces better results purely as a result of being harder?
This is the difference. You can work very hard, but if the things you do are wrong, it's meaningless.

>>22640628
If you have failed at so much and you can't write a story about failure, then there is not much you can probably write.

>>22640628
>>22640640
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jRXhmKPoM4

Wrote this awhile ago

>>22637898
That's always a tough realization anon but don't let it keep you down. Just gotta keep grinding and eventually you'll get there.
>>22639041
I agree with that other anon, I'm not sure what's going on here but I enjoyed reading it.

>>22640547
https://www.fiverr.com/matthewg42

Our book on Amazon was pretty well-received.

https://www.amazon.com/Nuclear-Snafu-J-D-Hancock/dp/B0C6NBCNZM

>>22639397
I try and figure out any other way I can go without them but that's only to prevent overuse. I think they're fine if you don't go overboard.
>>22639378
Not either of those anons and I didn't see the original, but one thing that sticks out to me is that you might consider cutting back on your adverbs:
>...if you wanted to praise my daughter. Get to the point," he replied sharply
We already know from the dialogue that he was replying sharply so I don't think there's a need to say it. Just leaving it at:
>...if you wanted to praise my daughter. Get to the point."
Sounded a bit cleaner to me.

Does /lit/ use Grammarly or anything? Msoft word has some issues for me. Seems to bug out at 60,000 words +

>>22640640
I think it has more to do with the fact that I know I would fail at writing it, so why should I even try?

>>22640761
I tried it for a bit and it definitely chokes on large bodies of text making it completely useless. You'd think that being able to handle novel-length word counts would be an important technical constraint.

>>22640796
Are you 12?

>>22640923
No, I'm somebody who has experienced so much failure that I know it's basically predetermined at this point. What else am I supposed to get from the fact that I've experienced 14 years of nothing but failures and no real success on any level? Are you going to sit here and spout some Christian bullshit about how God challenges us? Or explain to me how life isn't fair? You're preaching to the choir.

>>22640948
Fuck off attentionwhore

>>22640962
You asked a question and I answered it, not sure how that makes me an attention whore.

>>22640970
You left the anon with no other route of response other than name calling because you prefaced your message with what amounts to 'I do not respect any input you may have on the discussion and philosophy of failure in the modern age' in a thread that is literally about communal advice and comradery. This means that you sent a message into the world wanting to be read, but not actually wanting to be engaged with. Thus, attention seeking behavior.


Do you not see that? Is that chain of logic not obvious?

>>22640981
Well I'm sorry if it came across that way, I kind of lose track of how my words come across. I'm sorry.

>>22641012
The Rat Man forgives you... this time.

>>22640628
>Sword and sorcery and horror are the two I enjoy writing
So you’re retarded. Well, congratulations.

>>22640001
If it's well written it can do well, but might take longer to get traction. Genre is less important than people think. The important part for RR is the feeling of satisfaction progression fantasy gives. Clear goals that are reached. Revenge exacted. Numbers or levels that mark progress. Power, money, influence increasing. Watch Brando Sando's youtube vids on Promise & Payoff for some insight.

You could literally write a story about a rat starting his own rail road company, and people would read it, while a litRPG-wuxia-apocalypse that drags will be ignored.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hO7fM9EHU4

>>22641033
NTA, but not everyone can get their head far enough up their own ass to write literary fiction.

>>22641045
Different anon, but I kinda miss writing burgerpunk. Should I bring it back or is necroposting stories on RR looked down upon? Maybe make another Burgerpunk: subtitle?

>>22641075
burgerpunk anon? i loved reading your story and i think you should bring it back or have it self published. Would love to see more from you

>>22641075
bring it back, or i'll turn you into a burger...punk.

I wanted my main hero to be the most handsome, muscular man in the world women in the story practically drool over. He's simultaneously too dense/inexperienced/awkward to realize they're into him until he finally gains the confidence to ask out the female lead. It's an obvious power fantasy but since I'm the only one reading it, I think it's okay.

>>22641253
You have a good future in isekai

>Spent ages on this book
>Now that I've finished it I think the plot is retarded
Fuck bros it's no good. I had to write the synopsis and I was thinking wtf is this shit

>>22641120
>>22641168
Thanks, anons. Your post actually gave me a little motivation to finish my work-work so I can get some time to write again. Been filling my free time with non-creative pursuits recently and it has left me tired and hollow. Maybe writing again will change that. I greatly appreciate the kind words. Now the question is what to actually do? Dig through and find my old hard drive of half finished stories? Write more shorts to put on Pizza Time? Start a different collection? Write something more long form? I've spent most of the time since I last hung out in these threads years ago lawyering, so maybe I'll finally be able to imbue that horribly bureaucratic kafka style into the writing. I think the last thought I had about burgerpunk was how my writing slowly turned from a wacky scifi into a painful kmart realism. I really don't know.

>>22641284
I am writing the most retarded litRPG right now and I am convinced /wg/ will love it.

>>22641284
Are the characters and world interesting? Plot isn't the only thing, anon. If your reader falls in love with the people and places, they won't much care about the sequence of events.

>>22641313
finish pizza time, or you and your descendants and reincarnations of you're self will be cursed with permanent shitty haipais for several generations to come.

>>22641336
I don't even know anymore bro, I've spent so long on these characters I can't look at them with a balanced eye. I'm goofy. A fraud. A hack. A pleb. A meme.
>>22641331
This is for publishing though

>>22641339
I think I'm just confused on what 'finish' means in the context of Pizza Time. It's an amalgam of short stories that purposely avoids continuity of plot/genre/setting. Are you referring to the one string of chapters that could somehow be construed as sequential I completely lost interest in because I just accidently wrote a bad version of Snow Crash? Arguably the fact that it is now gathering dust on the internet is peak burgerpunk.

>>22641343
>I'm goofy. A fraud. A hack. A pleb. A meme.

How often should I drop new chapters on RR anyway for maximum slopfiend exposure?

>>22641284
Nobody was going to read your shitty anime fanfic, anyway.

>>22641365
t. litficel

>>22641350
i dunno, maybe end it with a overthrow of the system, but the protag is just eating pizza and thinking about writing a burgerpunk story. Maybe it was actually a bear reading a story and he laughs. I totally didn't get that last idea from one of Jerma's the Movies videos. Maybe he woke up and it was all dream, his dog barking to him about aliens in the backyard and he goes about his day.

>>22641353
Twice a week.

>>22640855
you talking about grammarly or ms word?

>>22640948
You should focus on being a good father to your children and let the dreamsa bout being a famous writer go. If it gives you pleasure to write, then write, but do it without expectations.

>>22640948
Whiny little cunt

>>22640948
>14 years of nothing but failures
>has kids
Way to throw shade at them.

>>22641416
If they're anything like him then he's right I suppose

>>22641416
I mean non-familial failures. A man needs success outside of his family.

>>22640264
Whatever works anon

>>22641509
Crybaby bitch shut the fuck up.

>>22641563
Go fuck yourself nigger

>>22640761
i've heard even the free version great as a learning tool by pointing out mistakes you might be making. i intend to start using it
the paid ver is not for creative writing

>>22640761
I use Grammarly first, editing the changes on a separate monitor, then import it to google docs and refine Grammarly changes there. I import chapters piece by piece, often in the 6-8k range with no issues.

anyone care to read my short story?
https://files.catbox.moe/y13gzy.pdf
thanks

>>22640684
i think this would be made better if through his broken speech you gave glimpses of who 2744 was. a man who's mind is essentially gone desperately grasping to shattered remembrances of what he used to care about.

based on the format your using where the narrator is describing an investigation, we'd know 2477s name, no?

if you were to expand it at all using this clinical narration, interviews with nurses about 2744 and further investigation would be cool. i could see this being hammered out into a non-linear narrative type mystery or something kinda like Last House on Needless Street.

>>22641681
>pdf
Your chances of anyone reading your shit plummet if it's not plaintext.

redpill me on (reading) short stories

>>22641708
They're usually higher quality than actual slop that's meant to be long-running by sheer virtue of being planned out start to finish.

>>22641708
>less time investment
>more satisfaction of completion
>broader exposure to different styles/authors
>easier to dissect for analysis

Basically it's a cheat code to grinding, both in writing it yourself and consuming it.

>>22641699
Thanks anon. I’ll revise it with those things in mind. This will probably be the basis of my Nanowrimo novel for next month.

>>22639134
sorry for not living up to your expectations of me
the story is meant to be exhibiting a scenario/character and NOT meant to be a book or anything

>>22641802
i wept

What is the most formal way I could make "thing noticer" into an adjective

>>22642157
you mean something noticeable or something that's doing the noticing?

>>22641708
here's a bluepill instead
short stories are dull your writing skills by propping up half baked characters that won't (and don't need to) change for pithy conclusions that you can hand waive as profound
in a shite (but not food) analogy, good musicians can write 30 second songs, but you won't get anywhere if that's all you can write

>>22639032
Frank Herbert did...both before and after he got "Dune" published.

Do any of you guys have a resource to recommend for improving handwriting as an adult? I have fucking DOGSHIT handwriting; my print is especially horrible although my cursive isn't much better. I know how to write just fine in both but I think I've just been allowed to hold the pencil/pen wrong literally my entire life so everything I write comes out like complete chickenscratch.

>>22639041
>>22639043
It's like a zoomer tried to channel McCarthy to describe his pointless life.

>>22640478
>>22640406
And is also never done that way, it's always word count, morons.

>>22641708
90% of stories can be told better as novelles or short stories
leaner, more punchy, and generally better written, short stories are what writers should be writing but no audience will want to pay 20 bucks for a 100 page book so everybody upscales it to 300 by adding filler (and some retards think its better because its more prevalent)

>>22642225
Some musicians make money writing ringtones.

Anyone else imagine their book being made into a movie and who would be cast in each role? Sometimes I go so far as to imagine me discussing the characters with them so as to help them get into the role. God I'm pathetic.

>>22642302
Actually sounds like a good mental game for improving your insight into your characters. It's also pathetic tho.

>>22642240
Who the FUCK writes anything other than personal notes by hand in [current year]? Save the trees man

>>22642157
Paranoid

How does one go about getting published in the litfic world? I realize my odds are for all intents and purposes zero, but what is the process? There's no shortage of info on the internet (most of it trash, but there is some seemingly-good content too) about how to get a genre fic novel published, and most of the process will no doubt be the same, but the majority of the advice I can find on finding an agent and editor seems out of place for a litfic novel.

And, lay it to me straight. How difficult is it to break into the litfic world today (as a straight white man, no less)? Let's ignore the issue of the quality of the novel and just pretend like I've got a masterpiece that would be adored if it came from an already-known litfic novelist like McCarthy, Pynchon, or Ishiguro. Is it even possible without existing connections? Has anyone here /tried/ to get a litfic novel published?

>>22641336
Plot IS character.

>>22642314
I am trying to write personal notes. I'm not exaggerating how dogshit my handwriting is, I actually need to work on it for my own comprehension and sanity. I figured this would be the closest place to getting decent advice compared to anywhere else on 4chan.
I'm not trying to handwrite a novel or something.

>>22641284
Sounds like postpartum depression to me. Forget about it for a while, work on something else.

>>22642240
>Handwriting repair: the italics approach
Find a pdf somewhere, start doing the practices. Had a bullshit family law summer class where the professor didn’t teach anything so I spent the time practicing my handwriting. By the end of it it was actually somewhat legible. I remember another student once said that my “handwriting looks like a founding fathers” which was, I think, the greatest backhanded complement I ever received. Anyway, the things I was doing wrong was gripping far too hard (cheap ballpoints have ruined us) and the most important was that I used to write with my fingers and jump my palm every few words. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to use your whole arm. It was like I started over from scratch but the improvement after some practice was noticeable. The italics approach also is a great blend of print and cursive. It flows exceedingly well once you get used to it. Godspeed, anon.

>>22641253
>handsome guy too dense/inexperienced/awkward to realize people are into him
So you gave your protagonist a dramatic flaw to overcome? Congratulations, you made your hero sympathetic.

>>22642302
no, because I write because I enjoy writing and have something I want to share with the world, not because I want to be an ebin famous author whose bestselling novel is made into a movie.
besides, I'd rather die than let a jew sink his grubby claws into my work and make shekels off it

>>22642323
The short cut is to just win a major contest or be related to someone in the biz or go through some renowned MFA program where you can do the secret handshake with the gatekeepers. Otherwise you have to have a record of publishing stuff. No one wants to take a chance. You wouldn't want to either, if you were in their shoes.

>>22642337
>gripping far too hard
>I used to write with my fingers and jump my palm every few words. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to use your whole arm.
woh. that's definitely my problem.

>>22642344
pyw

>>22642329
Can't help you. I've made my bad handwriting into a personal code only I can decipher.

>>22642355
I wrote Sinner's Descent

>>22642354
Go on Amazon and order a pack of blue versify disposable fountain pens. They will rock your world. They force you to jot grip so hard because they just flow. They force you to write because they’ll temporarily dry out if you don’t cap them. They force you to write at about 45 degrees so it reinforces writing with the arm.

>>22642350
>you have to have a record of publishing stuff
>the way to get it is to already have it

>>22642364
Varsity*
Fucking phoneposting.

>>22642366
Just the way it is man. Same with job hunting. One piece of advice I remember reading once is to start with a few small obscure publications (i.e short stories) and then use those to get your foot in the door of the major ones. Then when you have even one major publication you're basically "in".

>>22642360
Which is what, exactly? Google thinks it's a song by a band called Drugstore.

>>22642350
>take a chance
but are they really 'taking a chance' when they get to read the novel before deciding whether to publish it?
welp, guess I'm gonna either need to start writing short stories or resign myself to being a modern kafka

or, is there any way to get a genre fic publisher to publish a litfic novel without destroying it in the editing process?
>>22642350
I assume they meant short stories

>>22642337
Requester here, definitely going to print out these worksheets and look into it. I think I've always had the same issue of strangling the pen and not writing from the arm. Plus I've developed a sort of semi-italic shorthand from writing quickly already so I think the italic will be a natural fit for me.
Unfathomably based of you anon.

>>22642377
>Same with job hunting
but most large companies have some capacity specifically for new grads because it's a necessity in the industry, NGs don't cost much, and there's also the off chance one of them turns out to be a superstar. Is there nothing similar with publishing houses?

>>22640948
Your problem is not the failures, it is that you are an immature manchild. I am sure you have watched Fight Club. Not everyone can be a winner among winners That's what it means to become a professional fictional writer. You accept it and you live your life. You can keep trying, but whining like a baby is definitely not gonna solve it. If it makes you so bitter, better stop. You clearly are not a man capable of learning from your mistakes or hardship, so you have nothing to teach. You are not even honest with yourself, how can you be honest with others. That's at least half of the reason why you suck as a writer. The rest is story telling talent and if you don't have it, you don't have it.
Having a wife and kids already makes a normal ass man, which is plenty. Most people here don't have it. In fact it becoming less common to be able to have a wife and kids, so much so, soon it might stop being the norm. Already more winner than many, but you can't see it through your ego and you keep making life for yourself and your family harder.
Here is the (you). Now go apply yourself and don't reply.

>>22642213
Something that's doing the noticing.

>>22642382
You have to put yourself in their shoes and try to reason based on their goals and incentives. Litfic doesn't make money, so it's primarily about prestige. They want to publish works that have a good shot of winning prestigious awards and they want to sign authors than can write such works. So they'll go for authors that have already published award winning stuff (hence why winning a contest or award will immediately get you attention) or at least have a track record of publishing in other prestigious places or came from some place where other such authors have come from or have someone who can vouch for their abilities. What you write is almost irrelevant. Its why there's such a heavy bias recently toward "underrepresented" authors. It's not because they're better writers. Go look at who sits on the panel of the Booker award and you'll have your answer.

>>22642390
>large companies have some capacity specifically for new grads
And most of these grads come from Ivy league schools and/or know someone in the company through family or friends (i.e secret handshake).

>>22642380
You had to be there

Need some advice on how to conduct my complex novella narrative. Heres a simple synopsis so you'll understand why I'm having trouble.

I'm writing a sci-fi war story where the narrative is told through the lens of two sisters' personal feelings of their fathers' exploits, he had during an important space battle. Both of them are each writing the same book, which to the whole world is supposed to be a memoir. But, due to certain reasons, the father can't write it. Each of the sisters very much has totally different opinions on what the morality of what their father did

I want both of these perspectives to come across for this novella, but I'm not sure if I should keep it very ambiguous that theirs two writers writing this story who aren't the original person of interest. Just so theirs a bunch of interesting subtext to be found for acute readers. The other idea is to make it super clear that two writers are writing this subjective fake memoir( still framed as a memoir in-world) so the reader can catch on to why theirs a very clear dissonance of the ideas and writing, they can imagine these two sisters fighting every page to dictate their fathers legacy.

Any ideas on how I can conduct this?

>>22642425
I'm not going to shit on your thing just on premise alone, but.
>2 women talking about what their father did
Man, who gives a fuck. Show me the space war.

>>22642406
that's literally not true. there are fewer than 20k ivy league grads per year, and there are hundreds of thousands of new grads who land office jobs every year.

>>22642402
Discerning/perceptive

>>22642425
What you want from the story? Do you want it to be a mystery to solve or do you want it to be more clear with its messaging? You can have your cake and it too, you can make it a mystery, but not for too long. Probably the shorter the better, except if the mystery is really what you like the most about it, then just do that.
Then again, I don't know if you have a good enough justification for two people to be writing the same book. How does that even work without them trying to just prevent the other from participating. Making it "I write one page, you write the next" seems beyond silly, even if it is a compromise, it is not a realistic one. Perhaps the father is just dead and they are pretending to be two of his war buddies? Or are just two of his war buddies, though I guess that would nullify writing about something you haven't even experienced yourself.

>>22642401
>You have to put yourself in their shoes
it's not that I don't understand their incentives and reasoning, it's that it's idiotic that they can't tell whether a book has a chance of winning an award without seeing that the author already won one. I knew dei-based publishing was the norm, but that just makes it clearer that trying to write short stories to get my foot in the door is pointless--I'm not going to win one of those awards, which are even more influenced by identity politics, regardless of how good what I write is, because I'm not 'diverse' and I have no interest in writing about that sort of cheap trash. it's not even litfic, it's literally just genrefic where the genre is 'muh racisms'

to be clear, I'm not claiming that my ethnicity etc are the only things holding me back here. my work probably isn't good enough regardless of perverse priorities. but it's frustrating to know that no matter how much time I spend refining my writing and editing my work, none of it would even get me a shot at getting published. I don't care about prestige or being able to tell people I'm a published author. I'd rather publish under a pseudonym with no ties to myself and never tell anyone but my dad and wife about it. I just want to A) get my work read by the sort of people who might actually appreciate it, rather than YA and genrefic babies who would complain about the slow pace and lack of action, and B) work with a real editor who can make it even better.

and honestly my novel isn't even /that/ serious, I wonder if it could get published by some genrefic place. I'd say it's kind of even in the same category as Vonnegut in terms of being humorous and absurd while still having substance to it, but not to the same degree of jokey/absurd as Vonnegut. idk, maybe closer to crying of lot 49. again, not claiming my work is on par with either Vonnegut or Pynchon, just trying to give an idea of the 'flavor'.

>>22642436
The entire thing is the perspective of the fathers famous battle, through the lens of what the two sisters want to explain in their own way. Theirs no mention until maybe the end or the very beginning that the sisters are writing the in-universe memoir. It's just a different way of telling an already cool space story with more depth

>>22642425
Bigger problem is why a memoir would be handled like two toddlers screaming over who's turn it is with the toy
It's one thing if this was an immutable journal of sorts where each entry is "don't believe the last one" but for a published work it doesn't really make sense
What I think you're shooting for instead is two characters processing the same events from their own perspective - which is much better served in the present by their own actions. Or at least, in the past recollecting things they had agency in, not something they weren't even there for.

>>22642488
That's a good idea of making it a mystery up to a single point. I'll probably do that. Also, the justification for the two writers is that one of the sisters whose critical of her father is the editor but doesn't have the military knowledge, the voice/stomach to write for ultra-nationlistic audince (so it can sell), and she was really young hearing the entire story so she only remembers certain parts really well

>>22642419
At this rate, I'll never read it. I guess that's OK with you.

>>22642402
Witness?

>>22642499

Post a sample. You probably have an inflated sense of your work. The reality is that good work/good authors will find an agent and a publisher if you send it in. There's no shortage of white men who have published novels in recent years and they are generally not very good novels, so the bar is not particularly high. If you don't get any interest it's probably because your writing is not as good as you think it is.

>>22642157
I thought of something good but it's going in my novel instead, sorry

>>22642545
>Post a sample.
no thanks, it's literally irrelevant to the discussion, and I'm explicitly /not/ claiming that my work would be good enough to get published even if it were 1950 and these obstacles didn't exist, as I've made a point of saying multiple times, including in the post you're replying to where I said 'my work probably isn't good enough regardless of perverse priorities'
>The reality is that good work/good authors will find an agent and a publisher if you send it in.
well that was literally my initial question, wasn't it? and I was told it was impossible without connections or previous awards. I have yet to send my work anywhere, I'm still in the process of editing it and about a quarter of the novel I'm working on rewriting entirely as I don't like how it turned out and I have a better plan.
>There's no shortage of white men who have published novels
cool, that's good to hear. I assume you mean debut litfic novels published by white guys with no connections who've never won any awards or published any short stories or anything else?
>If you don't get any interest
nobody has read my work, even samples, apart from a handful of close friends who read a fair amount, and they've all really enjoyed it, but obviously that doesn't mean a whole lot. but I don't even know how to go about finding an agent in the litfic sphere.
I came in here asking a question about, theoretically, assuming I came in with something like the manuscript for Blood Meridian, how do I go about getting it published with no connections and no awards, and was told, essentially, that it's hopeless. you're arguing with the wrong person
>your writing is not as good as you think it is
possibly true, but you don't know how good I think my writing is or isn't. I haven't once claimed that it's a masterpiece or even 'good'. my question was based around the belief that I do have some ability and that, if I put in sustained and focused effort for another few years, I could get to something quite good. I have no idea whether that'd be 'superb' or just 'quite good'.
I know you're probably trying to be a dick but your post cheered me up a lot. I'd much rather hear 'if your novel's good enough you'll be able to break in' than 'nope you gotta win contests if you want a chance'

>professor says I should examine some of my favorite books or those similar to the story I want to write in order to get a better feeling of how to execute a combination of elements
>realize that I haven't been seriously reading for like ten years, and none of my old favorites are really in the same vein as my story
Fuck. I know the cardinal failure is a writer that doesn't read. I guess I have been reading Dostoyevsky but that feels like aiming beyond my skill level. It's an inspiration in terms of character, especially with Notes From the Underground and Demons, but not in terms of how to establish setting or unfold complex plot elements. Copypasting a post I made in the /sffg/ general.
>a thriller atmosphere with a focus on mystery and conflict
>worldbuilding that isn't boilerplate scifi or fantasy
>a large cast of characters which get decent development, with conflict among them
>a strong sense of drama and building characters at pivotal moments
>strategic and political maneuvering
>some scifi or fantasy elements, but not ones which direct the core of the story solely by their existence
>a main conflict that is intractable
I've been recommended The Book of the New Sun series before, but I don't know whether that's just a meme or if it's actually in this vein.

Someone there mentioned the genre I'm looking for is something like "speculative fiction".

https://pastebin.com/AndeWPxu
Thoughts?

>>22642672
Dostoyevsky is a fucking hack and his books are shit because he wrote about r*ssian society, which is shit.

>>22642672
If you honestly want to get pubbed then you 100% should be reading contemporary novels that are in your genre. There are good ones. Find them.

Does it count as fanfic if it's based on my own previous original work?

>>22642704
dostoevsky isn't shit by any means but he's a bit of a pseud and definitely YA in the literal interpretation of the term

>>22642728
>>22642704
Dost was a better writer than you'll ever be

>>22642699
Too short to make much commentary on but I did a quick edit. I'm also a big fan of the conversational or storyteller tone and grammar style but you've got to be a bit more economical with your grammar when using it or what you've written starts to read as overbearing. Just keep in mind how the storyteller is trying to move between highs and lows and bring the listener along; there's got to be some practiced artifice to the presentation even if the intended effect is very conversational.
https://pastebin.com/sY3qDKMy

>>22642738
You messed up the rhythm and the word count. Some of this is usable though, thanks anon

>>22642733
I'm already a better writer than that pseud.
>AAAAAAA I MURDERED TWO INNOCENT WOMEN BECAUSE I AM A SHITRUSSIAN HOBO WHO WON'T FIND A JOB AND NOW I FEEL BAD...
>Okay that's not too bad of a hook-
>...BECAUSE I MIGHT GET PUNISHED!
And then he proceeds to give a literal schizo murderer a happy ending where he doesn't get fucking executed.

>>22642774
He got a happy ending because he accepted himself as a criminal and did his time. And it was barely a happy ending IIRC.

>>22642780
>and did his time
Only in r*ssian society the acceptable punishment for murdering 2 innocent women because you are a schizophreniac workshy subhuman is only 8 years in a gulag, and not 30 or the rope.

>>22642785
>WAAAA ALL MEDIA HAS TO BE DIDACTIC. THE BAD GUY HAS TO GET HECKING KILLED AT THE END REEE

You should stick to Marvel movies. I think Russian literature (all literature?) is too morally complicated for you.

>>22642785
It's meant to brainwash criminals into thinking they'll get off easier if they confess. It's excellent multipurpose state propaganda and you wish you could write something with so much influence over the mind.

>>22642773
Its ultimately pretty subjective, especially with such a short sample, but I hope I illustrated my point well enough. Didn't mean to imply that my edit was objectively superior or anything.

>>22642774
Average modern reacts to Dostoevsky, news at 11.

>>22642774
Post your work

>>22642794
Uh... you know what rhythm is right? You see how the words I wrote kind of go ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-DUM? Like a heartbeat? That's the rhythm.
I wrote
>and how he envied his old self.
ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-DUM
You edited to
>and how he envied his older self.
ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-DUM ba-ba-DUM

>>22642791
>>22642798
>>22642803
Pseud retards from the west.
>>22642793
The only slav that doesn't buy into this """"""intellectual""""" garbage.

You can't write an attempt at gritty and realistic story of a murderous criminal and then give it a fucking fairy tale deus ex machina ending where all turns out well for the protagonist.
The happiest ending I would give him and still remain realistic is lifetime in prison or 30 years in gulag where he comes out a tired, broken old man.

>>22642815
Dostbros... we keep losing

>>22642815
>The happiest ending I would give him and still remain realistic is lifetime in prison or 30 years in gulag where he comes out a tired, broken old man.

You can’t handle a story that’s actually realistic. Hey guess what? The bad guys DON’T spend their entire lives in prison. In real life, the bad guys get away with it. Have fun writing fairytales, faggot.

>>22642822
>In real life, the bad guys get away with it
Nah. Maybe they never serve prison time but the point of the novel is that the criminal is in a prison regardless of whether or not they get arrested.

I'm close to finishing my story. I know what I want and how to get there but everytime I sit to write I lose the words I want to put down and my sentences don't feel right. Should I just remove every distraction and go for it?

>>22642815
Post your work

>>22642827
You already know the answer, you just came here for someone to confirm it.

>>22642826
The point of C&P is that when you commit grave sins you go to Hell before you die and the only thing that can save you is redemption from Jesus Christ.
Try and imagine a reality where people earnestly believe that Christian redemption is good (shock horror!) and then tell me the ending isn't positive.

>>22642822
>The bad guys DON’T spend their entire lives in prison. In real life, the bad guys get away with it
That's why my main character is struggling with guilt of committing much, much worse crimes and then nobody comes to punish him, the state doesn't care and UN doesn't give a fuck.

Keep churning those LitRPGs out basedjak faggot.

>>22642794
No shame in not knowing what rhythm is by the way, it took me a long time to grasp it and reading over my explanation I'm not sure if I got it across very well.

>>22642842
Nigger if I killed 2 people and I got 8 years people would think I'm in mafia.

>>22642843
>my bad guy is worse than your bad guy

Ok faggot. I write cosmic horror. My bad guy is unbelievably evil: the universe itself. retarded little maggot fucking worm.

>>22642836
You're right. You're absolutely right. I will do what must be done then

>>22642842
I'd call the ending a mixed up ending. The character doesn't do much prison time and gets a good girl but he's forever marked by what he did.

>>22642811
>>22642846
Anon maybe your sample didn't stand out as a textbook example of rhythmic writing because A: its extremely short and/or B: it doesn't use that rhythm particularly well

>>22642850
I am saying I am better than Pseudoevreiskiy but that's a nice strawman.

>>22642858
Post your writing then. Prove that you are greater than one of the best authors to ever live in human history.

>>22642848
Nobody cares about you, the novel isn't about you and your modern sensibilities and inane literalism and CinemaSins logic

>>22642856
I mean, he called it subjective, so I'm guessing he just doesn't know what rhythm is.
>it doesn't use that rhythm particularly well
Elaborate

>>22642861
You'd just shit all over it by default.

>>22642874
That’s what I thought. You probably haven’t even written anything.

id write circles around you, kid

I write creeps like you for breakfast

>>22642862
>and your modern sensibilities
Thank you for confirming r*ssians are cavemen incompatible with society.

>>22640749
Yeah that's fair, I realize I can kind of shave things down by removing them

>>22642907
Yeah no shit the Russians of Dostoevsky's day were nihilistic bugmen mongoloids, that's why he's writing what he's fucking writing. C&P rails against the French post-Enlightenment thinking of its era and the first vestiges of the modern materialistic hellscape Dostoevsky foresaw it creating. Why do you think Raskolnikov compares himself to Napoleon when performing the calculus on how much pocket change he can get out of fucking murdering people?

>>22642225
this is why i was asking. i'd just seen chinesegirlposter share another shitty short story and i was thinking they'd be better off developing their ideas.

>>22642255
sounds like you might want to write scripts

>>22642699
it's all right but I think it feels rather simple.
here's my pass at how I'm write it (without changing the content significantly)
>His life had been one of pleasure, Paxton, sad youth. How he now envied his bygone self, his crime caught up to him. By syringe he took his cure—better than he deserved, they'd called it, and the boy agreed—and through his synapses surged the foul elixir contrived in far off halls his manic howls would never reach. Guilt troubled him no more, his crimes now avenged. Though theirs—unpunished, unpunishable, not by Paxton, for all his hatred yet impotent and deranged.

>>22642733
never said he wasn't, but I'm a better philosophical thinker than he'll ever be.

>>22642811
>how is this guys? honest opinions only pleaaase
>WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE IT WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT METER IS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!
easy solution, don't post your stuff here anymore

It was hard to see her from all angles at once. I imagined giant staves, anchored from porches and telephone boothes, topher-crossing the street like tobey. Or not to be as they clearly werent. But i imagined them cutting out exactly the path she knew, like those bulging wavy scissors used in early grades. The wind somehow moved as i saw her out from the street, her shoes slowly glomming onto and gumming the sidewalk in front of my apartment. Cars invented gps, the golems inside invented memory. All started to pass behind her on the street, but were only glimpsible through the bermuda twigged between the two edges of her bent arm and the strap of the cloth bag that was currently sticking out its tongue and licking wildly at the air and clouds below.

I spoke to her in special fluted tunnels i had expected out from my front door and front windows. They were hung up by the traces of raindrops i had heard racketeering out on the street on such days as they may protrude out long snooky noses from above. My method of speaking is here.
Such tunnels wherein were alligned MnMs, hersheys, jolly ranchers, and no reeses pieces, so that as i admire these pretty pieces from my end, so would the ones on her end call brag about themselves, and if i admired with the right meter, then her end's tall trailings might make a sensicality and excite her. Her hair- due in part to its necromantic sheathing in some pharma goop, was curving inwards. I stood up on my spine, hips, legs, longinus for an eyepatch- and dreadfully traced the caterwauling curve trajecting towards her neck, as to between her. I stood still with my muster in great reservoirs around me, each within reach of easy refill. With all in good reaching, I stood still, fighting to stay that still and quiet my keep. At now, Invar nettles twirled with all the grace of a none too pudgy mexican at her second quiceniera and the spit of her hair turned, it did, and by a thorough ethnography of gameshow giant spinning wheel makers, landing of a bearing, outwards- yes, away from the hustle and bustle. Away from her filementous neck. Now people had always had needs for giant wooden circles, for signs, for waterwheels, for turntables. I studied the trace of her hair for a bye longer, my eyes swelling to great target globes, except that while target globes, studded as they were along the bank of certain ages and models of target stores like pearls in a necklace stretched tight against the ripened bloat of a neck of a misses 20 years begone from the time when her master had first envisioned them budging and ringing chummily, were sternly ambigious in their purpose, being quite large to summit and make horse, and too crankily spaced to make for a good barrier against ramming. Unlike such spheres, my eyes had a purpose.

>>22642934
>Why do you think Raskolnikov compares himself to Napoleon when performing the calculus on how much pocket change he can get out of fucking murdering people?
Because it was written by a r*ssian.

>>22642866
your prose sucks but you're fixating on the rhythm aspect. rhythm is a nice thing to think about once the words themselves don't sound like a bad YA novel.

>>22642970
Dostoevsky is much more of a theologian than a philosopher to begin with.

>>22643013
in what way is he a theologian? he's contributed nothing new to Christianity whatsoever. he's a theist philosopher, just not a good one.

>>22640508
You're trying very hard to establish a specific mood but it comes off as forced.
>a dense image of claustrophobia
>Despite the foreboding atmosphere,
>The woods had felt claustrophobic and dense
These need to be changed, ideally cut. You also have a problem with redundancy.
>After miles I came upon the place
>I came upon those woods
The repetition here serves no purpose.
Also
>The grass itself seemed desaturated. It'd be impossible for me to give an estimate as to how many there were,
How many desaturated grasses?
All in all it's not unsalveagable but clearly very raw. There are some parts I like.
>Crunching oranges and reds
>One could easily get lost here, but my heart, whatever bit there was left of it, had known where to go
>Only me and the crunching of the leaves to keep me company.
These lines please me.

>>22643039
>but my heart, whatever bit there was left of
i think this line SUCKS

>>22643146
I relate to it personally

The premise of this excerpt's to establish that exploiting the mineral from the monument caused the decrepit conditions of the world, causing a communicable and incurable illness. Think something like asbestos, or Tiberium if you're familiar with Command & Conquer. I'm not particularly married to the style or to the need to have an inflated preamble, words largely chosen for sense of poetic rhythm, but I'd like to instill a bleak tone from the outset in fairly brief terms, at least. Anything that outright doesn't work?

>>22642983
>projecting this hard
Offended writer syndrome is a powerful illness. Seek help

>>22643006
So you don't have anything deeper than "I don't like it?"

>let me get some of this short story out before I go to bed
It's 3am

>>22642438
And company employees have MILLIONS of family members and good friends.

>>22643246
how could I be an offended writer when I didn't post any of my writing here?

>>22643213
>exploiting the mineral from the monument
i didnt get this since you used words associated with building, not mining, easy fix
also an easy way to associate the two is to lay some reference in the first section to the monument being black like the infection

probably dont need all 4 "could be ___s" at the end of the first section

otherwise prose is kinda good, has some spelling and grammer stuff that word can clean up.

what are you doing for nanowrimo?

>>22643394
Nothing. If I was unemployed I'd be able to write a shitty novel in a month, but now? No chance.

>>22643394
whats that?

>>22643287
You've been offended in the past and you're projecting being offended onto me.

>>22643413
>If I was unemployed I'd be able to write a shitty novel in a month
Ha ha, I have 2 weeks to finish half of my shitty novel.

Good morning /wg/
This is what I wrote instead of sleeping
https://pastebin.com/T5jqt0zZ
Was it worth it?

>>22643394
I thought about powering through my novel but I think it might be more fun+profitable to eak out a bunch of short stories

>>22643418
next month is national novel writing month. the challenge is to write 50k words in 5 weeks.

>>22642939
>sounds like you might want to write scripts
sounds like you need to read more

>>22638831
>rr
try youtube

>>22643418
underageb&

>>22643528
ah, i probably already follow your yt

>>22643463
You probably could have slept on it and just written down the idea on a piece of paper before tackling it with a more rested brain. The main issue I'm seeing is a serious lack of subtlety in your execution. It's detectable in little things like
>She couldn’t be trusted not to try and hang herself again.
Outright telling the reader "she couldn't be trusted not to hang herself" is different from stating, for instance, "her blanket and sheets had been taken away from her the day after she tried to hang herself"; the reader is capable of picking that up. For the most part, who's speaking is pretty obvious in every case because of the prisoner-jailer relationship, so you can cut down on "said" indicators a lot, too.
Probably the biggest offender is this line:
>They put some sick, perverted corruption of love into their yearly celebration.
The entire spirit of the piece is pretty clearly bent on depicting the jailers' tradition as twisted, and the preceding sequence where John dresses as a Santa already demonstrates that. Work more on describing in physical detail how committed these people are to their farce instead of stating this to the reader like the conclusion of an essay paragraph.
The ending has potential in that Audrey's reaction blows the facade wide open in an almost comical way, but you don't seize the opportunity this presents well enough. Imagine how it would look if she was screaming and bitching, while the guards beat Naadyia while the happy lyrics of that Mariah Carey song play in the background. The confetti I could see happening, but it's just not a strong enough ender unless you tie it back into something, like titling the story "How All The Bad Kids Got Black Confetti Instead Of Coal", or reframing it like someone's telling a children's story. In short, lean into the absurdity, and realize that in this situation, it's self-evident enough that you have to learn to be subtle about it.

>>22643463
It feels like a fever dream, I could see it going in different ways and would love to read more.
I felt like the constant jumps were a little jarring though and I would have enjoyed it more if the story was one constant thing instead of jumping around so much.
It felt like the premise and the writing was good though, and despite the jumps it flowed as I read it.
I would keep going with whatever inspired this, it was really good!

>>22642939
>>22642255
I think it depends on who you ask. Most career writers would do wonder cutting bloat and focusing on the good stuff.
But most beginners lack strong fundamentals that are crucial for such a limited format - opting for unique loglines that have no weight.
I wouldn't dissuade reading amateur shorts, there is still value in reading other people's works in large quantities, be it idea churning, prose, dialogue, or just seeing what's shit. But I wouldn't go there if you're seeking to improve fundamentals.

>>22640010
The problem is that you’re a whiny bitch. People who suffer exponentially more than you don’t even act this way. Are you sure you’re not romanticizing being a failure as some sort of substitute for personality?

>>22643631
>People who suffer exponentially more than you don’t even act this way.
peasants aren't people

What would you consider an "acceptable" word count for a horror novel?

>>22643995
literally anything pal

>>22643999
Hard to argue with those digits, but I'm looking for something more concrete.

>>22643995
80k words is the lower range for a novel, right? Stephen King has made it okay for them to be as long as a fantasy epic

>>22643995
50-80k is the norm, horrors are often quite short. However, if you want to shoot up to and past 150k nobody's stopping you.

I have trouble finding good prompts in my head for writing weird fiction. If I use chat GPT to seed ideas for me, is that cheating?

>>22643995
Horror stories are generally short. The longer it goes on the less scary it becomes.

>>22644070
If you masturbate with a fleshlight, is that cheating?

>>22644075
But what if I make it longer with an underage gangbang?

>>22642983
Really, nobody should be doing that because you’re a fucking idiot and have nothing of value to contribute. I doubt anyone has ever gotten useful feedback from these threads.

>>22644419
Its impossible to give anyone any real feedback from a tiny sample of work without a more in-depth discussion of what the goal of that work is. But conversely people are less likely to actually draft longer works in general, more hesitant to post works here that they've committed more time to, and more defensive about criticism of work they've invested more in.
So you end up with people just circling the drain posting noncomittal snippets that give people who are critiquing very little to work with.

>>22643599
>>22643587
Thanks bros

>>22643599
Here's what inspired it, posted in a previous thread
https://docdro.id/O2DvDne
Thoughts are appreciated but keep in mind this document isn't for public consumption. It's for actors.

>Libre office decided to replace half my quotation marks with double quotation marks at some point.
Thanks libre office. Thank you. Thanks.
Why the fuck does libre office have so many shortcuts that are so inredibly easy to trip in the course of normal workflow?

>>22644876
>he uses quote marks instead of superior Japanese brackets
Zako domo...

>>22644427
Lol. Sure. Keep telling yourself it’s totally the fault of the writers for existing and not the fact the “critiquers” are more interested in making driveby insults than in helping others.
This place is total trash because of idiots like you.

How do I become a better writer? I have plenty of decent ideas, and I've had a handful of short stories published, but I feel that I lack the skill to transform said ideas into actual novel length stories.

>>22636941
Do you guys prefer smooth transitions to the next scene or just jump right into it with a cut?

>>22645159
How do you become good at anything? And if you don’t know that answer, how do you critically think to perform your own research? And if you don’t know that, then I really just don’t have the time right now, I’m sorry anon, I’ll come back later if you don’t get that part. Been pretty busy lately.

>>22645294
So literally just do nothing but write novel after novel? That doesn't seem like it'd make me a better writer, just a more efficient one.

>>22645317
You're right anon. People don't learn by doing. Continue doing nothing and waiting for yourself to magically improve.

>>22645323
No, what I mean is that there's got to be more to it than that. Continuously doing something incorrectly or poorly only builds bad habits. I understand that I should be writing, but what I'm wondering is what else should I be doing to compliment that writing, to grow it?

>>22645335
No, you're looking for cheat codes so you don't have to actually struggle and improve. You need to write, identify the weaknesses in what you've written, and struggle to improve those flaws. Everything else is ancillary.

>>22645364
>identify the weaknesses in what you've written, and struggle to improve those flaws.
That's where I'm at currently, and I'm trying to figure out how best to do that, but all you're telling me to do is the exact same shit that I've already done.

>>22645172
Enter late, leave early

>>22645364
nta but he's already said he's had some success with published short stories. I think.he wanting advice on how to take the step towards novels next. If you don't have anything to contribute, at least quit being a circuitous faggot and let the grown-ups talk.

>>22645379
Then you need to ask more specific questions. There's no universal answer otherwise everyone would be a master writer.

>>22645379
Read authors you love. Read your own work. Highlight everything you think sucks. Try to fix it. Rewrite it. Hate it. Put it away. Go read something else. Read or listen to an author you love talking about why and how they write. Think about why and how you write. Does the how match the why. Go back to what you've written. Read it again. Find something that disgusts you. Figure out why it offends you. Think about how your hero would write it. Do your best to imitate them. You'll fail. Why did you fail? Because you're not them. What don't you have that they have? What do you have that they don't? Rewrite it again. You don't need that word. Strip it to the bone. Make a horrid emaciated, styleless skeleton. Start adding the muscle, the meat, the fat. Look at the corpse you've made. Lifeless. Why is it lifeless? Dissolve it in a vat of lye, skim the top. Rewrite it.

you want a book read Strunk and White I guess fuck it idk

>>22645335
You'll be suprrised how fast you improve just by writing one full length novel

>>22643394
writing the first 50k words of my next novel

>write a story loosely based on the founding of Christianity
>have to pull from Paul the Apostle's letters
>people bitch this is a stupid fantasy that makes absolutely no sense
>get told i should have other magical races and monsters and shit
I failed.

>Asking for advice in a general that spawned F. Gardner
>Thinking that anyone in these threads has any clue what they're doing

>>22645431
Nobody has any clue what they're doing.

>>22645463
I'd argue that those who are successful in their field have a slight clue

>>22645492
No. They got lucky.

>>22645431
>>22645463
>>22645492
No one has any idea what they're doing and entire world is ran by people pretending that they know what they're doing.

Your parents had no idea what they're doing.

You have no idea what you're doing.

The world is a speeding bus and the driver is in a diabetic coma.

>>22645512

Can I rant about how hard it is casting good actors or is that a few too many steps removed from the whole "writing" thing

>>22645417
Only if it’s a good novel. Note that genreshit is, by definition, not good.

>>22645528
just brag if you're gonna brag

>>22645531
I find it very hard to believe someone from here has a movie adaptation of their book being made.
Unless it’s Gardner. He’s brilliant.

Holy fuck bros, it’s so good. I can FEEL my brain being rewired.

>>22645426
It's not a very popular subject matter, chances are you'd have recieved the same feedback even if you had wrote it better. Try something else dear anon.

>>22645550
You’re trans now.

>>22645528
That's more of a /tv/ thing I would've thought. Tell us about the script and I guess you can whine about casting at the same time.

I want to make my human main character wrestle an angel, as a shout out to my favorite Bible story.

The problem: both my main character and the angel in question are women. This is not a coomer story.

Is it possible to write a scene of two women wrestling and have it not be sexual? Once again, this is platonic wrestling, purely a test of strength and endurance.

>>22645642
If you have written your character serious enough so far. Then again, it doesn't matter. The coomer LGTBTQA+++ mind will think anything is gay and sexual.

>>22645642
Have a filthy faggot be turned into a pillar of salt for daring to imply the angel wants to be a lezbo.

>>22645642
It's not sexual unless you make it so

New
>>22645884
>>22645884
>>22645884

>>22644876
Sure, blame the tools instead of your paper-thin computer skills. Did you consider converting the whole document from Unicode to ASCII to fix the double-quotes? Do you even know how to do that? Can you wield iconv or pandoc? Either one would have prevented this problem. You're literally baffled by a word processor, and for some reason you think you're ready to be a writer? Get real.