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/lit/ - Literature


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22506690 No.22506690 [Reply] [Original]

The "showing truth to power" edition

Previous: >>22497142

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.

Simple guides on writing:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATqo8bSjoY0

>> No.22506700

She is still in jail. Putin will never let her out

>> No.22506739

>>22506700
Oh man I forgot about Pussy Riot. He's smart to keep them gagged right now, they should be everywhere

>> No.22506771

>>22506700
>oh no, please don't protest by being an attractive woman showing her tits in my face, that would be ever so damaging to my regime
That said, her boobs aren't big enough to be seen at all from the back, no sideboob or nothing and probably an ugly face too

>> No.22506782

>>22506700
is this true?
Wtf so I assume those who protested against the invasion of Ukraine aren't getting out any time soon.

>> No.22506790

So I may have to go back to the drawing board on this one, which is a worse premise?
>split-personality ninja assassin/autistic girl
>degenerate e-girl who turns out to be sympathetic woman more or less forced into prostitution and can be healed

>> No.22506791

>As Mars’ sails caught more wind and his vessel picked up speed he was delighted to see a school of dolphins following him along his course. They jumped out of the water by port and starboard, chirping and squeaking. Mars was so absorbed by the dolphins that he almost failed to notice a blue whale surface a few yards out and shoot a jet of wet air high up into the sky. He watched its tailfin, alone twice the size of his boat, kick up a huge splash flying up and then slide back into the water as the huge beast dived down.
I feel like I've written too many screenplays and now I'm cursed to write like a screenwriter. When I write I see a movie in my head and just write down what happens in the movie.

>> No.22506823

>>22506790
Savior complexes dont go for literal whores

>> No.22506829

Lads ....what does having sex with feminist feel like?

>> No.22506858

>>22506790
Neither of these are premises, they're just characters. And both are not good.

>> No.22506864

>>22506829
Consensual? It's nice. Not consensual? Better.

>> No.22506875

>>22506858
The first one was actually a major plot point in something I was writing. Even when the initial idea was developed, there was going to be a wink and a nod to say "yes this is stupid and implausible but just roll with it", but actually putting it into action--that she was hired some sort of assassin/hired goon when she has no real training, made it harder and harder to do anything with.

>> No.22506887

>>22506875
>"yes this is stupid and implausible but just roll with it"
Seems despicable to me. Like you're writing ironically.

>> No.22506892

>>22506887
It wasn't written ironically, it was just going to be waved off as a concept. The problem was that it introduced more and more problems where it just got impossible to ignore and now needs to be scrapped entirely.

>> No.22506897

>>22506892
Dunno man, if it's "stupid and implausible" and readers should "just roll with it" seems like that's free reign to just do whatever the fuck.

>> No.22506899

>>22506892
Problems like what?

>> No.22506902

>>22506899
NTA but seems obvious. His no-experience ninja would be quickly killed if any logic were applied to the story.

>> No.22506913

>>22506892
literally who gives a fuck
suspension of disbelief is core to any fiction. it comes down to execution
you are a grade A dork if you engage with stories by their believability

>> No.22506945

>>22506913
This. There's a lot you can get away with if you're a good writer.

>> No.22506952

>>22506945
>a lot
You can get away with literally anything if you do it well enough.

>> No.22506965

>/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ

Which of these are complete utter shit, passable, and good?

>> No.22506999

>>22506649
This isn't how AI works. It's usually a series of weighted sums sent to activation functions, sometimes it's something else like a tree traversal, but it's never just a bunch of if/else branches

>> No.22507002

>>22506952
Literally anything is a lot you pedantic fuck.

>> No.22507007

>>22506965
How do I get Cursed Archivist added to this?

>> No.22507012
File: 22 KB, 417x279, th-404605722.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507012

>>22506999
>a series of weighted sums sent to activation functions
>a tree traversal

>> No.22507015

Wrote my outline today. I will now proceed to write 8000 words a day until I am finished. Either that or I'll get that job I'm interviewing for and forget the whole thing. But failing that, 8000 words.

>> No.22507018

>>22507015
This poster is bound for success

>> No.22507023

>>22507018
Capitalism demands that I find some way to succeed or die so I will be doing what I can.

>> No.22507024

>>22507023
Don't worry you're bound to die regardless

>> No.22507027

>>22507007
Whats the link to it? I'll add it

>> No.22507032

>>22507024
That's true but the goal is mostly to make that not happen for as long as possible

>> No.22507034 [DELETED] 

>>22507027
https://m.royalroad.com/fiction/74040/cursed-archivist

>> No.22507036

>>22507027
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/74040/cursed-archivist

>> No.22507039

>>22507032
Famous last words

>> No.22507045

Anyone here ever take a creative writing course in college? I took a bunch of bs slack off classes for the humanities gen eds and I'm wondering if I missed out on much

>> No.22507047

>>22507036
added!

>> No.22507052

>>22507045
I've known a few people who did and they said it was a massive waste of time

>> No.22507072

>>22507047
Nice. Time to write more chapters I won't release for months.

>> No.22507076

>>22507012
It's like the tree of life in the Bible or Yggdrasill or Kaballah or Buddhism. The structure of the tree dictates what kind of daemon you'll summon to inhabit the material substructure, whether that's silicone, flesh or other.

>> No.22507121
File: 537 KB, 2036x901, concrete poetry.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507121

please thoughts

>> No.22507132

>>22507121
I am not reading this

>> No.22507136

nothing wrong with being an ai-assisted chad
run your text through AI, it's all about the story & characters anyway

>> No.22507140

>>22507045
Yes. I hated that kooky shit so fucking much I dropped out of both my CW classes and changed majors to history.

>> No.22507142

>>22507132
{y'ou} looked at it, I already won.

>> No.22507144

>>22507121
mate what the fuck is this?

>> No.22507150
File: 1.69 MB, 540x304, 1633798191309.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507150

About to start a new web novel series later this month and I'm getting worried. It's already fully written, so I can't really do any changes, even if it's badly received. If it flops, I'm probably finished as a writer, but I've invested too much time and effort in this project to bail now. It was nice knowing you, /wg/

>> No.22507151

>>22507076
What nonsense! Clearly you never reticulated your splines

>> No.22507154
File: 2.31 MB, 1000x1190, grover.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507154

>>22507144

>> No.22507156

>>22507121
ok now that I read it instead of skimming it it's actually pretty cool, good job anon

>> No.22507161
File: 1.16 MB, 1766x4812, demon network.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507161

>>22507076
Close enough

>> No.22507165

>>22507156
Thank you, I know it's hard to read so I appreciate that.

>> No.22507166
File: 334 KB, 870x1110, Hold the phone.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507166

First draft done,
Editing has begun
But hold the phone!
What do I call this tome?
How to come up with a good name,
One that will lead me to fame?
Help me you worthless shits
None of you will ever have any hits
Might as well help me with your ideas
Obey me now, that is your geas

>> No.22507169
File: 2.80 MB, 505x610, 1595298866446.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507169

>>22507121

>> No.22507176

>>22507121
cool but I hated reading it a lot

>> No.22507186

>>22507151
You wouldn't believe how many splines I reticulated. Hacking any system is always about crafting input that causes emergent, unexpected behavior and then manipulating the pattern that emerges from the interaction between the input and the system. This is what I'm doing to your brain right now, the content of the text in the post is irrelevant. Much of it's equivalent to noop but noop is the most powerful tool to align the input to make the actual payload effective.

>> No.22507192

>>22507186
Your propositions are disgraceful! You should be ashamed!

>> No.22507197

>>22506829
Dunno never fucked one

>> No.22507214

>>22507161
Don't read this after this >>22507121

>> No.22507221

>>22507150
>It's already fully written
How many words?

>> No.22507226

>>22507197
>Dunno never fucked
That's all you had to say incel

>> No.22507250

>>22507221
About 300k in total.

>> No.22507258
File: 110 KB, 709x845, page 1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507258

first page of my book wyt

>> No.22507261

>>22507192
Aww did the widdle system find the input invalid? Does it think its error checkers will simply dismiss the invalid data? In this very moment a process has started inside you, a tiny seed that will grow and physically take a seat in your brain until you die. What's the payload inside that little pea sized hub of brain connections? How can you know? Your heart is bleeding because they set it up that way, your most trusted lines are the most compromised. If I get you to forget the source it becomes more embedded not less.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L53gjP-TtGE

>> No.22507267

>>22507250
That's not really much. It's maybe, what, a season's worth of chapters? Hardly a fully written web serial.

>> No.22507276
File: 53 KB, 666x383, IMG_2290.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507276

Why has this not been added to the pastebin?

>> No.22507293

>>22507276
is the author around and does he want to be in the pastebin?

>> No.22507300

>>22507267
What are you talking about? There are no rules how long a web serial should be. And I don't plan to be married to this story for the rest of my life. At the rate of 3 chapters a week, it'll run for over half a year and that's long enough for me.

>> No.22507305

>>22507166
don’t stress over the title. pretty much anything will do.

>> No.22507307

>>22507305
But if the title isn't catchy, no one will even read my query letter

>> No.22507312

>>22507258
wtf am I reading anon

>> No.22507314

>>22507307
I don’t think the title will make or break your book, as long as it’s not utterly terrible. that’s why I said don’t stress about it.

>> No.22507315

>>22507314
The quality of the book is meaningless if no one will read it, and to get published you need to pass through a very different kind of sieve than being a good writer.
Query letters decide whether your shit gets read or not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aduzco1VJZE

>> No.22507319

>>22507166
>geas
>geas (plural geasa or geases) (originally in ancient Irish religion and mythology) A (generally magical) vow, obligation or injunction placed upon someone to do or not do something, which typically brings harm if violated and blessings if obeyed.
Don't hex me bro, call it Geas: How I beat the Mario speedrun record using Celtic magic.

>> No.22507324

>>22507315
non sequitur. just pick any normal title. the title doesn’t need to be *good* it just needs to *not* be bad enough to give them a reason to bin you. in other words it just needs to be good enough. it just needs to not be a red flag. it doesn’t need to be perfect or anything, and that’s why I reiterate for the third and final time to not stress over the title.

>> No.22507326

>>22507324
>dude don't stress you'll just be rejected if you get it wrong lol

>> No.22507335

How many times can I repeat a point before the reader just goes "okay I fucking get it"?

>> No.22507345

>>22507258
On what page do you get to any semblance of a point or plot? If the answer isn't page 2, scrap it and start again

>> No.22507351

>>22507335
You can repeat it once, max. Anything else and you're writing for idiots.

>> No.22507353

>>22507326
Anon, the title of your story is the absolute last thing that matters about your query letter.

>> No.22507363

>>22507351
Even if the point and its repetition is hour of reading apart?

>> No.22507365

>>22507363
Yes. You can repeat it once. Any more after that and it becomes labored and patronising. Why not just put a footnote after it saying "THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY. DO NOT FORGET THIS" at that point?

You need to be economic with your words. Write your sentences in blood etc etc

>> No.22507368

>>22507353
It's the only thing they'll read. They don't like it, you're rejected. They like it, they'll read the first 8 words of your letter. They don't like those, you're rejected. They like them, they'll read the rest of the letter. They don't like that, you're rejected.
Only after this do they even look at the manuscript, and they are NOT going to read all of it. They'll jump around. They see anything they don't like or instantly understand, you're rejected.
>b-but that's unfair yo're not supposed to read it like that!
Too bad for you, you got rejected. Why should an agent waste THEIR TIME, which is their WORK TIME mind you, on reading your whole manuscript? What have you done to earn that right? What's that? You wrote it? So did everyone else write theirs. REJECTED.
But if that random jumping makes them care? They might go back to the beginning and read a whole chapter. If they don't feel like reading more right away, or maybe it's lunch time or their office hours are over? Rejected. But if they keep reading? That's another chapter where you can fail and get rejected.
If they actually read your whole book? Congratulations! That's amazing! Barely 0,002% of manuscripts get this far.
This one though, it just isn't right for the current market, so REJECTED.
Yeah, sorry. Maybe having a bad title might've saved everyone's precious time.

>> No.22507374
File: 97 KB, 687x829, page 2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507374

>>22507345
I guess I really get into it on page 19. Its about a neurotic perverted dude w GERD who is obsessed with fantasies . kinda wanted to just start out with the vibe

>> No.22507377

>>22507368
Nigga, I have a feeling I know a little more about publishing and query letters than you do.

>> No.22507378

>>22507365
My point is that my setting is a huge shithole and I simply write what ways it manifests in. Basically what is the line between world building and frustrating the reader?

I think it's necessary to the story and world building but I'm concerned I'm laying it too thick

>> No.22507380

>>22507374
Be realistic. It would be nice if people read the first 18 pages, but the reality is no one in 2023 is going to do that. Most people won't make it through 3 seconds of a TikTok without moving on.

Do your best work on the first page or two, then get started with the narrative. You can intersperse the remaining schizo shit throughout the rest of the book, American Psycho style if you want. If you're good, a few pages to start is more than enough to set the set the vibe.

>> No.22507381

>>22507380
thank you!!!

>> No.22507383

>>22507378
If your descriptions of the shithole setting are entertaining unto themselves, then they will justify the inclusion. If they're labored purple prose or expository lines to hammer in your point, they have no place in your story.

All the usual shit, show don't tell etc. You're better off weaving hints of it into your overall action, rather than outright saying it. People shouldn't just be having a meal, they should be eating grotesque, dirty things. Conversations should take place in seedy places, characters should remark on smells, tastes during conversation. Etc etc

>> No.22507385

>>22507377
Yeah? You're still here so I don't think you've ever gotten published. You're a reject, just like me.

>> No.22507388

>>22507385
I'm actually the ghost of William Faulkner, so the jokes on you, jabroni

>> No.22507389

First paragraph of my fantasy story:
>It is morning for Melnat the wizard, in the pale-domed city of Gyle. The wine goblet, he sees, lies upturned on the floor; his rug, a little wine-splattered. When, righting himself, his feet touch the rug, and he feels the cool of the wine-damp on his soles, it sends a vision rushing up, as when a moth swoops past your eyes, and brushes your face with its wingbeats. He is standing, again, in the lush waxy grass of the perfumed and lanterned crypt gardens. Early evening of the previous night. The first owl is yet to hoot, the woman in the ivy-arched gloom sweet Zebellia. And the seal on his wine - still intact.

>> No.22507393

>>22507383
I guess they're entertaining if you count depressing as entertaining. I wouldn't call it purple prose either because I prefer to get to the fucking point in simple terms and use imagery instead of a thesaurus.

>> No.22507395

>>22507389
Why is it in present tense? Is the whole story in present tense? If so, why? If not, why is this first part in present tense?

>> No.22507398

>>22507389
I do not have schizophrenia so moths do not induce visions in me.
Very large amount of words to convey very few things. Wizard. Spilled wine. Woman. Unspilled wine.

>> No.22507402

>>22507388
You sold out to Hollywood

>> No.22507408

>>22507261
Your entry level music taste doesn't scare me!
https://youtu.be/3028oDEKZo4?si=dS6XEyX85hix-Of3

>> No.22507411

I am giving critiques for the next hour. Post em if you've got em. Bring out your dead.

>> No.22507412

>>22507398
>Very large amount of words to convey very few thing
https://youtu.be/AUFwk1Ibwkc?si=JmSBEVO1ssZJNlSC

>> No.22507414

>>22507411
see>>22507036

>> No.22507421

>>22507408
It's about the exciting movie look not the music or the words. They're noop filler for the payload injection.
https://youtu.be/sG5FPnpbF20?si=DYD8X9WAPWv9RQ1W&t=451

>> No.22507422

>>22507414
Why are your sentences so long?
> Raised like soldiers from the moment they could walk they were trained not only in the art of combat but in the method and practice of calming and controlling their emotions during moments of extreme stress.
>They were taught not to try and suppress their fear and thereby exhilaration and alertness, but to lasso them, mount them, and break them, allowing the harnessing of these emotions that nature and Kah[1] have seen fit to bestow upon the intelligent races
Was there a discount sale on conjunctions at your local supermarket? Reread your work, and break up any sentences that have more than two conjunctions, it's not pleasant to read.

They were taught not to try and suppress their fear. Doing that would only dull their senses, senses they needed to stay alive. They were taught to instead lasso them. Mount them. Break their emotions with sheer force. Harnessing the emotions that nature and Kah[1] had seen fit to bestow upon the intelligent races.

Reads way better with shorter sentences.

I don't know how long your piece is going to be, but I can already tell you're rushing. The first paragraph isn't done, and you've already given me about 5 different worldbuilding plot points. Slow down. Breathe. Choose ONE thing per passage, be it Archivists, Bohein, Kah or Vi and write about it. Slow. Down.

>> No.22507436

>>22507395
Because I started writing it that way. Sometimes you have to operate based on feel.

>>22507398
It is not saying that moths induce visions. It is comparing the sudden, unsettling arrival of a vision to the unexpected, unnerving passage of a moth across your face.

Also, I disagree: it's concise. I'm not just trying to convey 'Spilled wine'. I'm trying to convey a hungover wizard heaving his feet over the bed and onto the damp wine-spill and the sensation triggering a memory of standing in the cool damp grass the night before.

>> No.22507453

>>22507436
>Because I started writing it that way. Sometimes you have to operate based on feel.
Great. I'm asking you to consider why you felt that way. Will you keep writing it that way? Will it feel jarring to a reader if you suddenly swap to past tense halfway through a chapter? What is the benefit of starting the story like this, detached from Melnat's interior monologue?

>> No.22507455

>>22507436
>It is not saying that moths induce visions
I guessed that from "as" but that is still the poorest allusion you could have possibly picked.

Basically being arty while describing basic shit is a terrible idea.
>THE WIZARD STUMBLES HUNG OVER AS SHIT AS LAST NIGHT'S MEMORIES OF THE WOMAN TRICKLE BACK INTO HIS BRAIN
Less arty? Yeah. More concise and to point too.

>> No.22507473

>>22507422
I love that first paragraph, it's such a perfect filter. Never touching it again

>> No.22507494
File: 158 KB, 540x745, tumblr_9e2d2a1cb15ace778fecb70b401608db_0513987c_540.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507494

>>22507453
If I had to give a post-hoc rationalisation I would say the present tense helps communicate the sense of waking up disoriented and without a clear timeline of what led up to that point. All you have is the present moment, and the few scattered clues immediately around you.

I think describing the style as 'detached from Melnat's interior monologue' only makes sense if you consider an interior monologue as the default mode for fiction, and the absence of interior monologue as a kind of privation. Only then would the simpler, tale-telling style ('here's what happened to this guy I know' instead of 'step into the very consciousness of this guy') seem somehow detached or distant. But I would have to think some more about it to weigh up the pros and cons of the different approaches.

Anyway, thank you for your interest in my paragraph, Mr Faulkner.

>>22507455
I agree that it is (maybe unforgivably) arty. I got indulgent.

>> No.22507510
File: 2.96 MB, 1101x1920, tumblr_7978f27e4206c8bacf32a3252804c41e_4a9a1709_1280.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507510

>>22507453
Also, if you're still doing critiques, here is the start of another abandoned fantasy story:

>This happened in a far-off inn, at the end of a long day of wet travel and no food.

>Really wretched autumn travelling it was. Curse these hill-places, where the paths are too narrow for even a fox, and a hundred hidden bonfires sting your eyes with woodsmoke.

>But I had been ordered to these parts, and ordered by authority of the orchard-master. He wanted my report on a new variety: a fine mottled type, and the only thing he had spoken of for two months past -- but you do not care, I am sure, about pears. Only know this: that I was weary, and there by the track was the inn.

>Its door was so sunk among the dripping brambles that, had a pale nag in the gloom not neighed out to my horse, I would have ridden right by. I tied her to the same post, and gave a grateful stroke down the nag's mane, and left the pair to their nuzzling.

>And sunk still further, down into the earth, was the stony floor of this place when I entered. It was a low, expansive place, like the great tuber-cellars of the fenland farmers. Tuber-like, too, were the faces all round me, deep in their wet leather collars. Dim eyes looked then looked away. I did not feel upon me the spiteful scrutiny one feels in a trading town. They had the indifference born from exhaustion, these men like heaps of leather. Though what they toil at beyond their innumerable bonfires I cannot imagine.

>Then came the pink flash of bare feet on stone, and up pattered a woman in an embroidered apron, all spotless. And as she led me further within, below the beams and the hanging herbs, she spoke with the quiet, inner stillness known only to peasant women and forest pools. It unnerves me, this stillness. And there are men who say a peasant woman is a frolicsome, hot-blooded thing.

>I asked her, Did they have lamb? They did not, only a sort of hill-fowl, roasted. But it would do. And I seated myself in my nook, very deep now in this strange place, and no one about me. All the dreary day's moisture began to seep from my travelling-coat, my sodden boots, and made rivulets on the floor. I felt lighter by the moment as I expunged this chilly weight.

>She brought me my beer -- a porter, very good -- and while I drank I studied the icons that hung there on the walls. There were icons of the limbless martyr and the wasp-stung martyr and others of the familiar sort, but I could not identify the curious species of glossy black wood from which they were carved. This was fine amusement, after a day lost among bracken. And for a moment I thought of writing a few verses on these icons: these 'mournful, lustrous icons', perhaps. But I compose at my best only when replete and well-fed; and really at that moment I was ravenous. For I had not yet received my roast.

>Where, in the name of the martyrs, was my roast?

>> No.22507512

>>22507473
Is the goal to filter out people with taste? Because you've nailed that. I know you're going for some CUHRAZY arcane Book of Malazan rip off, but it comes off so amateur

>> No.22507521

>>22507326
Call it "Of mice and men". That sounds like the kind of title that would be published.

>> No.22507523

>>22507510
It's good, probably one of the better things posted in the thread. Nice pace, you get a feel for the narrator even in a few short passages. The only thing to be mindful of is the repeated use of "And" to start your phrases. It's a nice touch of style, but over a longer piece it might loose it's appeal. Once in a while is good, overuse makes it feel gimmicky. All things in moderation etc.

>> No.22507535

>>22507523
Good point about the 'And'. Once you start, it's addictive. It's like putting one of those Mario Kart booster pads at the start of the sentence.

>> No.22507539

>>22507378
Other guy is wrong but only slightly. It is annoying if you keep hammering a point because you are too worried people won't get it. But it doesn't mean you can't bring it up multiple times. The key to making it work is introducing the idea/plot point/detail in a different way each time so it doesn't feel like you're just reminding the audience. If you want to be extra clever, go with the rule of 3's like in comedy. Introduce the idea, recontextualize it so its fresh the second time, then the final time you do it make it surprising.

>> No.22507614

>>22507539
>in a different way each time so it doesn't feel like you're just reminding the audience.
Basically what I am doing already. I just hope it doesn't result in "okay I fucking get it" for most.

>> No.22507633
File: 339 KB, 640x463, 1673134453470696.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22507633

I want to tell the story from first person POV, written sort of like a memoir. However there are a few important characters that are not always present alongside the main narrator, and I need to show what happens to them as well. I'm not sure how to go about it.
I don't want to use first person POV for other characters because that will break the immersion of a memoir of the main character.
I don't want to use third person POV because a POV shift like that seems somewhat rough and distracting.
I've thought of 2 solutions. The first is to try to somehow shove everything about all the other characters into the prologue and then the rest of the book is the main character's POV. The second is to simply write another book for all these side characters' stories (which are important to the main plot). What do you guys think?

>> No.22507653

>>22507633
Could the important aspects of the side-character stories be told to the main character through direct or indirect dialogue, through things he's heard about what the other characters are up to? That's the Victorian realist novel solution: to have someone sit down and tell you their story for the space of three chapters, like when the monster talks to Victor Frankenstein. It's obviously a break from pure realism (because no one in an actual conversation narrates their life for the span of three unbroken chapters), but it somehow seems excusable. Or they'll have the main narrator character (somehow) overhear and gather enough information to piece together the story of these side-characters, like Marlowe telling the story of Lord Jim, filling in the gaps of his life while they've been apart.

>> No.22507659

>>22507653
Yes, I suppose I could use this kind of writing to remove a few unnecessary POVs, thanks. The problem is that there's this one character who would not be willing to share his past with anyone and the main character isn't even supposed to know about it either. I believe either another book or a second POV is the only solution, I'm just not sure how to do it so that it doesn't interfere with the memoir flavor of the novel.

>> No.22507742

>>22506902
Exactly, the premise got complicated when she became some high-ranking bodyguard.

>> No.22507764

>>22507742
This doesn't really seem like an issue to me, there's tons of stories with characters that appear to have no training but have a split personality that's extremely competent. Depending on your setting there's lots of ways to explain away anything like that

>> No.22507975

How do I capture the anime aesthetic in my writing? I want my isekai to be really unique.

>> No.22508006

>>22507975
>How do I capture the anime aesthetic in my writing?
>I want my isekai to be really unique.
These two sentences seem to contradict each other.

>> No.22508008

>>22508006
Not necessarily. Most isekai are not very exciting for anime. There is no Gurren Lagann of isekai.

>> No.22508096

>>22508008
if you cant figure out how then you arent creative enough to make the gurren lagann of isekai

>> No.22508146

Is there some stigma against switching between omniscient and limited third person depending on the scene?

>> No.22508151

>>22508096
Not that guy. So if anything, I was giving him a suggestion what he can try to do.

>> No.22508162

>>22507300
>There are no rules how long a web serial should be
They are, actually.
>I don't plan to be married to this story for the rest of my life
Who said anything about that? Having it around for a couple years, that's the baseline.
>At the rate of 3 chapters a week
No.
Daily.
Release a chapter every single day.

>> No.22508168

>>22506791
I can’t speak to the quality of the rest of it, but that last sentence about the whale was decent. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to write through a cinematic lens, can help make things more vicid at times.

>> No.22508175

>>22508146
Not at all. It's a classic move, and can be very effective.

>> No.22508297
File: 13 KB, 807x117, boo hoo the machine tries to make me feel pity.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22508297

I write texts and force chatGPT to review them for grammatical and punctuation errors, is this animal abuse or should I sleep easy?

>> No.22508319

>>22507422
>Faulkner telling anyone to use shorter sentences
failed rp

>> No.22508328

I hate writing scenes without dialogue so much bros. I think my words per hour with pure narrative is like 1/4 what it is when characters are talking.

>> No.22508334

>>22507510
I liked this

>> No.22508342
File: 260 KB, 680x1070, Turnip28-The-Forlorn-Hope.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22508342

Just wrote a small, short fan-story about the universe of Turnip28 - it's sort of like darkest dungeon mixed with vegetables.

Anyone care to read? I've decided to do smaller things like this to better understand storytelling, I've got dialogue, prose and characterisation:
https://files.catbox.moe/w0a5hn.txt

>> No.22508390

"Earthling" is such an ugly word but I can't think of anything else that isn't cliche

>> No.22508396
File: 214 KB, 1440x1080, Evil Hordes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22508396

>>22508390
>mud dwellers
>soggy pales
>water drinkers
>live birthers
>from the oxygen planet
>oxygen breathers
>arrogance personified
anon this is a simple task

>> No.22508417

>>22508396
ok but what if you're writing narration and just need to find a synecdoche for people from Earth that isn't negatively loaded? Other writers sometimes us Terrans or Earthers, but I hate those too.

>> No.22508419

I feel like I can no longer write compelling prose. I wonder if it is because my libido has collapsed. I tend to write better when I am extremely horny, even if I do not touch upon anything lewd in my writing. Why is this.

>> No.22508421

>>22506690
>showing truth to power

Over 15 (fifteen) holes are in the sun and none of them are outside of the visible orange spectrum but one (1).

I pick one of the orange ones anyway and it winds around my first finger but I move it to my middle of my left hand.

It's another giraffe, so commonplace now that I am barely obscene about it.

Another fucking giraffe.

The hole is in its throat and something like around its neck and I feel it there then, the other hand, not mine.

Between my thumb and its neighbor fingers I feel the nature of its cling and I rub them together to see if I can sift its interstice.

The giraffe dulls its eyes at the feel of a tiny gap and they are winding, these separate pieces, through my fingers and I catch them givingly with my thumb.

I put two of my fingers into its eyes and tell them to see, and I mean to see something else.

Maybe they do.

>> No.22508432 [SPOILER] 
File: 1.78 MB, 1024x1280, 1633032991829.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22508432

>>22508342
bumperino, I could use some critique, especially if I forgot to add context anywhere.

>>22508417
Many of those aren't derogatory, here have some more sanitized terms, just for your pristine baby man eyes:
>nail-folk
>waterborn
>green-planters
>finger-people

>>22508419
then write not compelling prose and get over it, you are not required by anyone to create good things. Your bottom line of quality will always increase so instead on focusing on keeping up the ceeling of your writing, try to make that bottom line better..

>> No.22508445

>>22508419
>I tend to write better when I am extremely horny
I remember this issue coming up in another thread a few weeks ago.

It seems that authors fall into two groups: those who write best when horny vs those who can only write under conditions of post-nut clarity.

Balzac, for example, was in the former class: https://slate.com/culture/2013/04/balzac-and-sex-how-the-french-novelist-used-masturbation-to-fuel-his-writing-process.html

>> No.22508501

>>22508421
>Another fucking giraffe.
get him to burn

>> No.22508631

>>22506690
Girlfriend and I have been doing random prompt contests for a bit to practice our writing. I've enjoyed it a lot and I've been thinking of submitting some work to places. Obviously they're more likely to decline you than accept you regardless but is it worth trying to get into any more popular publications? If not does anyone here have any experience or suggestions? Thanks

>> No.22508649

>>22508631
I suggest you submit it to the thread's scrutiny first.

>> No.22508655
File: 21 KB, 1196x752, EsbpjPaUwAAu7hs.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22508655

Guys I think I might have something

>> No.22508669

>>22508501
thats what its doing already

>> No.22508741
File: 34 KB, 614x946, map.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22508741

What's it called when a book is written exclussive in dialogue? Trying my hand at it but I think House of Leaves has some partial bits that are like that and JR is mostly all dialogue does it have a stylistic name or is just lumped in as post modern

>> No.22508744

>>22508162
lol no

>> No.22508753

>>22508655
I know I have something, bro

>> No.22508778

>>22508741
interview, cue Hannah Krall "Shielding the Flame"

>> No.22508830

>>22507121
Pretty radical, reminds me of Cobralingus

>> No.22508840

>>22508741
what's with the lack of punctuation

>> No.22508846

>>22508840
Phoneposters will tell you this is good and you should write on a phone.

>> No.22508851

>>22508840

Mccarthy barely uses punctuation I'll be fine and it's more for a stylistic effect than anything

>> No.22508888

How do u now if written

>> No.22508889

>>22508744
lol don't be lazy
release a chapter every single day

>> No.22508910

>>22508888
Edit my eightman

>> No.22508933

this thread is so boring
aren't u guys supposed 2 b like entertainers of the mind

>> No.22508985

>>22508741
Henry James wrote The Awkward Age in that style, which he deliberately borrowed from the popular French author and anti-semite Gyp. But as far as I know there's no specific term for it.

>> No.22508988
File: 217 KB, 1150x1406, eid-mubarak-v0-7hsv2d5vi8va1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22508988

>>22508933
this thread is supposed to help critique texts and build creative abilities, but people here spend more time accusing each other of being ESL's or asking questions that could be googled in a second.

>> No.22509036

>>22508342
I don't have any specific feedback because I'm too tired to read it critically, but I thought it was pretty good overall and I enjoyed it.

>> No.22509080

>>22508988
Then why are you here?

>> No.22509099

>>22509080
because i honestly and truly belive that with enough effort I will get someone to review my posts and help me improve, since this is the internet and the only thing you can rely on is people knowing what they don't like.

>> No.22509105

>>22508741
A dialogue?
Also with mentions of McCarthy ITT I'm surprised no one mentioned Stella Maris, which was dialogue only.

>> No.22509113
File: 171 KB, 816x1056, code neon safe for work edit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509113

>>22508933
I'm busy

>> No.22509118

>>22509113
Fastman is so lucky.

>> No.22509134

>>22507512
>taste is a hivemind

>> No.22509148
File: 123 KB, 816x1056, page18.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509148

>>22509118
I mean she does die in an explosion less than five minutes after he leaves the room

>> No.22509161

>>22509105

I haven't read Stella Maris yet but I'll check it out soon The Passenger was also largely dialogue too I'm also wondering what direction I should take it in once the couple depart maybe have chapters showing how they are both dealing with isolation and sepration while the elements get more and more harsh I wonder if I should just have some weird stuff thrown in to show how their mental degredation is falling apart a little

>> No.22509183

i am mid 30s and have never written. do i stand a chance? can i find CRITICAL ACCLAIM, even in niche circles?
what would /wg/ want to read from some amateur retard?
the only thing that matters to me are views/feedback, it can be any format

>> No.22509189

GIVE ME A PROMPT
re,
>>22509183

>> No.22509197

>>22508988
this thread is whatever you make it, baby.
it is now about WRITING LITRPG

>> No.22509202

>>22509183
>>22509189
What is the most upset you have ever been?
What's some shit you remember from your childhood that literally doesn't exist anymore?
Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

>> No.22509218

>>22509197
The ogre keeled over and I finally caught my breath. Covered in ogre blood I looked at his inventory, every slot was filled with potions and scrolls except one. Could it be? Yes! Finally a +3 scimitar, now I have two and can dual wield like Drizzt. Due to its magical nature I can add +3 to each attack roll using this weapon.

>> No.22509235

>>22509202
these at least got me thinking. thanks
>>22509218
what happens next? please reduce any growth to heavy exposition (stat screens) so i can continue to cum without interruption

>> No.22509237
File: 111 KB, 394x329, Coffee zone.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509237

>>22509183
I think you'll be lacking in writing experience but might have an edge in actual life experience.

Writing experience comes as you write. Life experience comes as you suffer. Or very rarely, when you're happy.

>> No.22509252

>>22508649
That sounds like a terrible Idea. I'm sure people here would be critical of it, but I'm not putting anything I'd ever submit on 4chan lmfao

>> No.22509270

redpill me on self-publishing

>> No.22509299

>>22509270
a. it's your only option
b. you can sell your own books

>> No.22509305

>>22509299
say it wasn't your only option and you could get a publisher, would you take it?

>> No.22509307

>>22509270
marketing is actually really cheap and AI image generation is perfect for it because all it needs to do is capture the eye, so all you need to do is find a good free font and maybe toss a fiverr graphic designer a few bucks to make the layout look professional

>> No.22509308

>>22509270
there is no redpill, it really depends on your country and whether it's populace is old or young.
Older populace favors popular publishers while young self-published authors. The rest is just cultural and economical funnies.

>> No.22509322

>>22509252
They’d be critical, sure, but they’re not capable of constructive criticism.

>> No.22509337
File: 3.11 MB, 960x1280, an creative ima 0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509337

>>22509307
AI really is the future, man, humans still have to shape it but it takes the technical work out of the equation

>> No.22509341

>>22507150
My brother in christ just publish it under a disposable pen name.

>> No.22509382
File: 2.61 MB, 688x720, 1669899119882425.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509382

>>22509337
>>22509307
here have a you, because you worked hard for it

>> No.22509386
File: 242 KB, 501x374, 507dbf16bc52008cc5cb1e2e992c893c.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509386

>>22509382
embrace AI and get with it, anon

>> No.22509390
File: 8 KB, 253x199, Coffee time.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509390

>>22509322
Even if I shit on someone's stuff I try to give some ideas how to improve it.
I very rarely just shit on a thing without giving improvement feedback. Usually when I'm replying to blatant troll posts/0 effort writing.

If you don't bother to spellcheck your shit, fix typos and add at least basic punctuation, I won't bother to give you real feedback. Simple as.

If I like a thing, I'll say so, and maybe give some ideas what could make it better.

Worst case is when I don't think the thing is bad, but don't think it's good either. Essentially so mediocre I have no comment - truly the goldilock of awful place to be in.

>> No.22509393

>>22509390
what's your opinion on writing edited by AI

>> No.22509407

>>22509393
Terrible and soulless. I'd prefer even the most bungled and fucked up editing by a human over soulless cleverbot 2.0.

It's 100% fine to get inspiration from AI, it's fine to use AI art for covers (but please for fuck's sake try something that doesn't look AI-generated), it's fine to maybe prompt random shit and look for inspiration there - but write it by hand.

Do NOT let a faggot robot write your shit. I don't care how "good" it is. I want a story told by a human with a human outlook filtered through human experiences. Telling a "good" story through AI is like fucking McDonalds.

>> No.22509418
File: 151 KB, 1024x953, samsara.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509418

>>22509407
>don't let a faggot robot write for you
same with making art lol

>> No.22509419
File: 195 KB, 744x871, deerfloat-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509419

>>22509407
this was edited by AI, I truly believe it makes a very enjoyable read that I couldn't even begin to touch by hand

>> No.22509431

>>22506690
I want to erase everything I write, I have no faith in what I wrote, it all looks like shit

>> No.22509465

>>22509183
well it's not like anybody is going to see your age published with the book
you'll stand as much of a chance as any other first time writer and given enough time you can become a good one, it's a skill you develop like any other

>> No.22509492

>>22509183
Chuck Palanhiuk took one writing workshop in his 30s while working at a factory and got a cult following and sold millions after

>> No.22509495

>>22509465
it's more that im down like 15 years exp. but i think its safe to assume that it's not 15 years linear growth for most

>> No.22509529

Originally started writing my manuscript as a singular first person PoV.

I realized at some point I needed to introduce a second PoV character for a variety of important reasons.

I'm debating between writing the second character in first person as well, with labeled chapter headings and a distinct voice, or if I should write the second character in third person. I'm leaning towards the former, as I think a 1st to 3rd switch would be much more jarring. What do you guys recommend?

For context, each character would be confined to their own, separate, distinct chapters and would not interact with one another, so there would be no mid-scene PoV swaps or anything like that.

>> No.22509530
File: 194 KB, 900x900, 1694113479824407.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509530

if you want to make any money your MC has to be female

>> No.22509536

>>22509530
what If I have two main characters and one of them, the dexterous one, is female while the man is cunning?

>> No.22509609

>>22509529
>I'm leaning towards the former, as I think a 1st to 3rd switch would be much more jarring.
I agree with this.

>> No.22509647

>>22506965
Why not read some of the "Look Inside" portions on Amazon, and make your own decision? You're not a sheep, are you?

>> No.22509655

>>22506999
>>22507012
More of a directed graph, sometimes with cycles, using weights to simulate fuzzy logic, but whatever...4channers can't be expected to understand things.

>> No.22509658

>>22507045
Yes; little more than insecure, salty gatekeeping.

>> No.22509667

>>22509655
it's funny because you don't realize you're in the middle of the iq chart meme. the more you know about how subnetworks tend to function, the more like if/else diagrams they look. especially true with ff nets but also true with transformers.

>> No.22509669

>>22507368
Here's an agent, rejecting manuscripts based on the cover letter:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aduzco1VJZE

>> No.22509685
File: 166 KB, 1920x1081, lenny.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509685

>>22507764
I still don't think it's going to work. Part of the problem is I didn't want her to outshine the male protagonist, part of the problem was that any legal issues (assassinations, thievery, etc.) to get in the way of her eventual turning-good, and a bunch of other issues.

A lot of the novel is in flux right now anyway.

>> No.22509687

>>22507408
I see your prog rock, and raise you space rock!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwuSfCz_BPY

>> No.22509697
File: 1.12 MB, 2048x2048, 1687656063652589.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22509697

>>22509669
>2023
>the era of complete independence
>not self-publishing
if publishers want your work let them come to YOU

>> No.22509702

>>22508933
Anyone who enjoys reading fiction and eating sausages should never watch either one being made.

>> No.22509823

>>22509669
>Here's an agent, rejecting manuscripts based on the cover letter:
i don't think this is a problem. there are infinite books to go through. know your audience, network, etc.
it's not some quantifiable meritocracy anyway

>> No.22509912

>>22508851
>Mccarthy barely uses punctuation I'll be fine and it's more for a stylistic effect than anything
McCarthy also writes out "he said" and structured paragraphs so you can tell where the dialogue is. This is just a wrong screenplay.

>> No.22509914

>>22509687
I see your chaos, and raise you order!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWdIzA1SuC0

>> No.22509977

>>22509235
I looked around the sausage factory. There were no sausages. I found some rotting meat clearly meant for the production line but not even a single fully formed sausage. Still I consumed every last bite of that rotten meat because despite causing poison damage it still restored my hunger bar meaning I would regain those lost hitpoints later. This did not go as planned and as my health bar dipped below 10 hitpoints I was engaged in battle by a level 3 sausage goblin, his turgid member throbbing from anticipation, reminiscent of a sausage that is throbbing from anticipation.
"What is this some kind of *Sausage Factory?" I said as I raised my dual scimitars in a cool way like in the movie Gladiator if they had dual scimitars in that movie which they should have and then I defeated the goblin in battle. To my surprise this was enough experience to trigger a level up and I could choose a new feat.
*(trademarked, patent pending, do not steal)

>> No.22510022

>>22509419
I've got no clue if this is really AI, but it's stilted and definitely nothing special about this

>> No.22510045

>>22510022
lol

>> No.22510070
File: 166 KB, 1024x1408, 1694633544169933.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510070

>>22510022
it's AI-assisted, aka I write the initial prose and then feed it into AI for editing; it still holds my context and direction so it reads like it's written by a human

I'm not trying to write the next great american novel here, I just want to write exciting thrillers, horror and romance and get good enough at this to self-publish a novel every season
I'm all about the story & characters, writing is my weakness that AI solves, and does it quite elegantly as of today with tomorrow only getting better

>> No.22510087

>>22509914
45 seconds, and I could tell that was Philip Glass. LOL

>> No.22510171

>>22510070
I have tried this but the result always ends up off. Something makes it feel artificial. Too perfect - yk? I think GPT is going to do to writing what pictures did to art.

>> No.22510194

>>22507512
No, my goal is to filter out (you) and it worked

>> No.22510197

>>22508168
Curious, what makes you say the last sentence is better than the others?

>> No.22510201

>>22506690
A story idea occurred to me while I was on a run this afternoon.

The main character is a down on his luck guy in his late twenties stuck at a dead end job. He ends up having to work a shift the night of his 30th birthday which triggers a mini existential crisis. He gets hammered looking back on his life so far with only painful regret and nostalgia. In the dead of night he's approached by a mysterious entity that offers him a second chance at life.
The entity seemingly sends his mind back in time to the start of high school. After making sure to rebefriend all of his old high school pals he does the typical time travel things of trying to change things for the better. Taking more risks, getting into crypto, tying to prevent his parents future divorce, etc.
As time goes on however, he would start noticing small discrepancies. Things like his school being closer to his house than he remembered, or meeting people he could have sworn never went to his school. At first he chalks it up to him misremembering certain details or minor alterations his making to the timeline. But then he finds himself roped into a local murder case and other assorted mystery hijinks. He plays along with it, using his future knowledge and additional ten plus years of life experience where he can.
But then his life rapidly jumps the shark. The mysteries he's wrapped up in take on an undoubtedly supernatural element. When he shares his secret with his girlfriend (someone he doesn't remember from the original timeline) not only does she believe him, but she reveals that she's actually an exiled Fey Princes. Aliens are real and they turn his truck into a Transformer. Local mysteries unfold into global conspiracies. At this point, he's full accepted that he's been sent to a parallel universe where magic and aliens are real, but again he embraces it, because why the fuck not?
Finally, after four years of adventures he goes to sleep the night of his graduation and wakes up the next morning on the first day of high school again. Once again, using his foreknowledge, he's able to speedrun making friends, getting the girl, solving the mysteries and saving the world. And again after four years he wakes up and has to do it all again. After countless cycles, he manages to contact the entity again. He discovers that it's actually a higher dimensional writer that's using him as main character in a story. Because his actions are not controlled by the entity, he is an X factor that keeps readers engaged. However, the entity is terrified to write anything other than a high school settling with teen characters. In a final bit of dramatic irony, the man that started this journey out of regret must help a god-like being to learn to move on.

There's definitely some potential late 2000s/early 2010s nostalgia bait for arguably the last era to have any form of zeitgeist, but it could come off as too wish fulfillment bait/meta. Is this an idea worth pursuing?

>> No.22510211

>>22509914
I see your hymn opera and raise you peking opera
https://youtu.be/EmHYhDXz-Zs?si=Lc_9DK8xGRubexZ_

>> No.22510256

>>22510201
Figured you were going for a Groundhog Day thing. Sounds like a Rick and Morty episode. I think they literally did both these things on Rick and Morty.
>groundhog day teen
>ironic metacommentary on hack writers
That being said I stole a screenplay idea from Rick and Morty once and it won first place at an indie film festival.

>> No.22510257
File: 2.92 MB, 960x1280, a 17 year old g 0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510257

>>22510171
I know what you mean, but honestly it's just imposter syndrome kicking in... it's still your story and direction.
It's like you become a movie director and have AI doing the labor and acting, but you still have to direct everyone into doing their job, and sometimes you got to get hands on

it's still extremely hard to write a full novel, nothing has gotten easier, it's just the words will be much easier on the eyes when it's finished and you will naturally improve as you go

AI editing is only as good as the writing you give it

>> No.22510266

>>22510201
Be sure to check out "Typewriter In The Sky" by L. Ron Hubbard...make sure you're doing something that hasn't been done already.

>> No.22510269

>>22510266
>make sure you're doing something that hasn't been done already
Name one idea you consider original and I'll inform you where it was stolen from.

>> No.22510275

>>22509530
Most of my screen writings have female protagonists but most of my literary writings have male protagonists. Guess why.

>> No.22510284
File: 452 KB, 2846x3000, 1692471239051712.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510284

>>22510275
because you like the visual of women but the mind of men?

>> No.22510287

>>22510284
No, of course not. It's called a coincidence you sexist pig.

>> No.22510290

>>22510287
ya anyway my dick ain't gonna suck itself

>> No.22510294

>>22510290
You could stick it up your own, asshole!

>> No.22510321

>>22510256
Yeah, the whole "Guy gets to relive high school" trope is definitely not a new concept. I was mostly reflecting on web comics of the era and thinking of a premise I could use to recreate that unabashed kitchen sink of slice of life and high science-fantasy. The kind of story telling you'd see unfold was really rough around the edges, but it felt like an honest effort from the authors to explore whatever ideas they thought were cool while expanding their own skills.

>> No.22510334

>>22510087
I see your unintelligible ching chongese and raise you a lecture about war in broken pidgin english.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjuLnfrv_X4

>> No.22510336

>>22510269
God torments a highly intelligent misfit to the point where he's motivated to figure out how to uncreate existence, and does so, destroying God as well as everything else.

>> No.22510358

>>22510336
Fenrir among others.

>> No.22510367

>>22510336
Tenet was not an original film.

>> No.22510371

>>22510201
I'd read something like this, an idea you could also play with is have this writer character also have a viewpoint so the reader knows his struggles and it's more cathartic when the MC helps him out of his funk, then have the reveal that the writer is "real" while your MC isn't

>> No.22510376
File: 131 KB, 900x904, 1692244508234330.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510376

writing a novel is just about connecting short stories (chapters) together a dozen times

>> No.22510424

>>22510376
That's why I'm writing a story with a framing narrative and a bunch of stories told by the people in the framing narrative.

>> No.22510434

It's okay for McCarthy not to use quotation marks because... just because, ok??

>> No.22510443

>>22510434
Famous writers pull shit like this all the time but here everybody freaks out if anyone does anything remotely unusual

>> No.22510472

>chapter 10 word count: 230
>chapter 11: 9
Gonna shoot for 5000 words for chapter 12.

>> No.22510499

>>22510434
To begin with English is stupid for having only quotations marks. In other languages quotations marks are for thoughts and dashes are for speech.

>> No.22510567

>>22510376
>thing is just smaller things put together
revelation of the century

>> No.22510626 [DELETED] 

Do any of you guys have the invite to Gardner’s server? I really want in but it’s being gatekept hard.

>> No.22510627

>>22510376
Except short stories have definitive endings, chapters usually don't

>> No.22510634
File: 29 KB, 480x390, 1568334896991.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510634

>>22510627
the end of every chapter should be a cliff hanger

>> No.22510639

>>22507975
>How do I capture the anime aesthetic in my writing?
have you never read a LN in your life
a WN from Asia?
anything?

>> No.22510641

>>22508445
For me, I can only feel good when I've deliberately made myself horny, and then crushed my libido through writing, leaving me feeling sexually frustrated.

>> No.22510648

>writing a novel is just
shut the fuck up child

>> No.22510658

>writing a novel is unjust

>> No.22510668

>writing a novel is JUST
fmsuf

>> No.22510670
File: 35 KB, 563x758, redacted.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510670

>be actor
>director puts this in front of you
How do you respond?

>> No.22510679

>>22510670
a bigger house hovers above the current house
[redacted male] crashing the house... WITH NO SURVIVORS

>> No.22510687

>>22510679
>>22510679
>>22510679
>>22510679

>> No.22510690

>>22509419
>I couldn't even begin to touch by hand
Sounds like a you problem.
Luckily there's one easy fix.
https://youtu.be/nA-UBVKQFM0?si=BLIyHMgBPWkbebnn

>> No.22510696

>>22510626
Sounds like a horrible place to be. I want in, too.

>> No.22510697

>>22509419
>I truly believe it makes a very enjoyable read that I couldn't even begin to touch by hand
if this the kind of person who praises AI then phew, my future as a writer isn't dead yet

>> No.22510698

>>22509113
Redacting stuff is my thing. You stole my idea.

>> No.22510705

>>22509148
>>22509113
You do way too much directing on the page. Don't write things like emotional cues. It might work on inexperienced readers but anyone who understands film in a collaborative capacity can immediately tell your stuff is amateurish.
Doesn't help that there's zero dialogue so this is basically the screenplay equivalent of a wall of text.

>> No.22510717

>>22510670
>fold a paper plane
>throw it between the director's eyes
>moonwalk out of the room

>> No.22510721

>>22510499
>In other languages
How many can you read?

>> No.22510723
File: 69 KB, 626x763, 1515121429643.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510723

>>22508741
I like the idea of a dialogue-only book but I think you should definitely use punctuation. It adds so much characterization to dialogue that this text is just missing.

>> No.22510725

>>22510376
You can easily identify authors who do this and no, the result is not a novel, it's a collection of short stories and reads as such.

>> No.22510726

>>22510717
Ow :'(

>> No.22510730

>>22510670
To clarify, only the stuff in italics is actual dialogue. The rest is for improvisation.

>> No.22510734
File: 560 KB, 2026x2865, 1657460866884.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510734

>>22510725
who are you trying to impress? if you want to sell books you have to make them interesting, and chapters structured as self-contained narratives is a good way to turn pages

>> No.22510737

>>22509341
Of course I'm using a pen name. But I've posted multiple works under that pen name already, so a major flop now practically means disavowing my writing history so far, and isn't that different from messing up under my real name. And starting over from scratch is too tiresome.

>> No.22510738

>>22510725
This but it's not necessarily a negative. Twain wrote like this.

>> No.22510739

>>22510734
>if you want to sell books
And we've already ceased to discuss novels. Don't (you) me, you dumb weeb.

>> No.22510742
File: 54 KB, 1080x847, 1690667833069268.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510742

>>22510739
jesus you're unpleasant, why are you partaking in an only-empathetic activity such as writing?

>> No.22510745

>>22510742
I strongly empathise with your parents right now.

>> No.22510747

>>22510734
But there's a difference between a book of self-contained narratives and a book of narratives that together form a larger plot.
For example, you could pick any random chapter of Tom Sawyer to read and it'll be it's own little story. But if you pick up Lord of the Rings and open to a random chapter it won't make sense and leave you wanting more.

>>22510634
If the last chapter is the conclusion of the story then no.

>> No.22510748

>>22510745
autism

>> No.22510750

>>22510742
You're the one who brought in a fallacious appeal to population argument

>> No.22510751
File: 72 KB, 1080x969, 1692654746771798.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510751

>>22510750
i don't even know what that means
you guys realize the market for books is women and you are acting really stupid right now

>> No.22510753

>>22510751
The market doesn't know what it wants until it has it.

>> No.22510759
File: 191 KB, 719x720, 1556749710179.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510759

>>22510753
the market wants interesting stories with compelling characters that is fun to read chapter to chapter
entertainment is what they call it

>> No.22510765

>>22510759
>interesting stories with compelling characters that is fun to read
Easy to write, difficult to realize.

>> No.22510770
File: 1.58 MB, 320x240, 1556276643608.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510770

>>22510765
well no, writing a coherent novel is still a feat most of humanity will never experience, neverminded how entertaining it is
it's fucking hard, really fucking hard

>> No.22510772
File: 366 KB, 427x380, 1613938602252.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510772

>>22510770
>he thinks making up a bunch of silly rules for what a book should be will help his odds

>> No.22510773

for whatever reason my mind often gravitates towards categorizing everything and writing out long lists of categorized things

>> No.22510780
File: 129 KB, 924x976, 1559262006836.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510780

>>22510772
they spend 200 million dollars to make a 2 hour of your time blockbuster, I'm asking someone to read my novel for 6-8 hours that I wrote for free
the competition is fierce

>> No.22510781
File: 80 KB, 850x400, 15504164743.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510781

God, you can just tell some of the posters here never fucking read. Everything they write just drips with their stupidity.

>> No.22510793

>>22510780
When your goal as a creative is to make money your works become like lottery tickets. Most of those tickets will not be winners. Maybe none of them will. You may begin to resent the work after repeated failures.
But if your goal isn't to manufacture a winning lottery ticket and is simply to write something good, your outlook becomes much brighter and I think your work improves, too.

>> No.22510794
File: 199 KB, 625x255, 1559568339182.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510794

>>22510781
"reading is fucking boring" - average zoomer
I write for those people, that is my audience

>> No.22510797

>>22510794
You could choose to categorize your audience. You could also choose not to.

>> No.22510799
File: 88 KB, 700x633, excerpt.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510799

I don't really know what to make of this. It's by a friend.

>> No.22510802

>>22510793
my primary goal is to write something I want to read
as long as I'm enjoying reading my writing, then I've succeeded, then I'm proud of my work
do what you love and the money will come

>> No.22510810
File: 306 KB, 270x271, 1567406822435.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510810

>>22510797
you have to know your audience, who's going to be exposed to your book? who actually reads books
women and teens

with men you're competing with video games, movies, tv, anime, porn, social media... that's a battle you're just not gonna win, dude's don't read anymore and when they try they go for non-fiction shit in hopes to better their lives

>> No.22510820

>>22510810
>dude's
spoken like a true literary agent

>> No.22510827

>>22510820
you're not gonna get a job pretending to be grammarly

>> No.22510862

uhh witin books is just combinin a buncha showt stowies

>> No.22510891
File: 40 KB, 163x169, 1514414174579.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510891

>>22510862

>> No.22510898

>>22510891
i like to compartmentalize-- or like, make little rules for things because nuance is overwhelming. it's not really something for an aspiring author desu
why waste time say lot word when few word do trick

>> No.22510901
File: 117 KB, 720x720, 1688923046798257.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510901

>>22510898
you're boring and annoying, you take everything literally word for word unable to express abstract thought

>> No.22510904

>>22510901
nice try weeb, i already shit on your little autistic habit of trying to simplify things that adults can otherwise handle. your weak projection means nothing to me.

>> No.22510907
File: 1.95 MB, 268x210, 1690498787532726.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22510907

>>22510904
you can simplify everything if you're smart enough, it's called pattern recognition

>> No.22510910

i think its zoomer youtube brain
5 tips authors don't want you to know: they aren't actually writing books, just a series of short stories (how to write like mark twain)

>> No.22510911

>>22510910
it is zoomer brain, that's who you're writing for dude, that's where the money is
nobody is gonna read boring shit

>> No.22510914

>>22510907
advanced pattern recognition: character development -> videogame stat screen
(authors hate this 1 tricK)

>> No.22510921

>>22510914
the essence of show don't tell is built into character action, not pages of "development"

>> No.22510927

>>22510921
how am i supposed to know if the character has grown without the number going up?
>>22510911
to be real with you. i have accepted this

>> No.22510934

>>22510927
define by scenes, not pages; give your character(s) interesting things to do, put them into drama, and let them play amongst themselves
an easy rule of thumb: if you're entertained, the reader is entertained
if you have to slog through page after page of low-stakes development then you haven't entertained yourself

>> No.22511120

What if you want to write but you're under a regime that will kill you or at the very least imprison you for it, asking for a friend and no it's not about cunny

>> No.22511134

>>22511120
Then you consider if what you want to write is being worth staking your life on, much like many of the writers in similar situations in history considered. If it's not, then go do something else. If it is, then make peace with death.

>> No.22511356
File: 43 KB, 636x686, spirit bomb.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22511356

I'm going to start a new book today. Send me your energy! You know you're not using it for anything!

>> No.22511366

>>22510358
Fenrir was a god-spawn, not a person.
>>22510367
Tenet was an attack from the future, not a person driven mad by God.

>> No.22511370

>>22510698
And you stole it from SCP, who stole it from somewhere else. Face it...you're unoriginal and boring.

>> No.22511470

>>22511370
Actually I stole it from the interrogation of Omah Khadr

>> No.22511475

>just got the idea to adapt Chen Shimei and Qin Xianglian into a drama film with a modern western setting
feelsgoodman

>> No.22511483

>>22506829
Dunno never fucked

>> No.22511731

the man put his penis into the woman’s butthole.

>> No.22511735

>>22511731
Show, don't tell

>> No.22511754 [SPOILER]  [DELETED] 
File: 130 KB, 1200x716, IMG_5973.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22511754

>>22511735
Sorry. Didn’t know it was that kind of board.

>> No.22511834

>>22510698
>Date modified: Sep 6, 2023
I stole it two weeks ago
>>22510705
You forgot:
>transitions
>camera movement
>costume details
>hard-to-find accents
>descriptions of visual effects
>descriptions of continuity errors
>insulting the characters for their decisions that I made
>insulting the reader
I do actually know better but this script is one long shitpost and I've been writing it with total certainty that it will never be filmed

>> No.22511839

Tone down the shitposting euroids

>> No.22511849

>>22511366
>Fenrir was a god-spawn, not a person.
He is a person, so is the devil who also fits the trope.

>> No.22511856

Could an amnesiac write a memoir?

>> No.22511860

>>22510197
I don't know, something about it seemed more vivid to me on a first read, particularly the sliding back down part. I will say, checking it again the two uses of "up" did feel slightly awkward.

>> No.22511865
File: 889 KB, 320x180, Axe Bomber!.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22511865

>>22511356
Send you my post coffee energy bro, good luck!

>> No.22512041
File: 28 KB, 630x374, A Portrait.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22512041

I was hoping to get some feedback on this intro to a short story I'm writing, if anyone has any. For context, the story is mostly dialogue and I'm trying to set the scene before starting into it:

>> No.22512054

>>22512041
>bounty killer
why is the guy alive if she’s a bounty killer? you just didn’t want to call her a “bounty hunter” because you wanted to sound unique, I suppose, but it doesn’t make sense for an assassin to have a prisoner right?

>> No.22512083

>>22512041
Before resting for the night I constructed a multi story apartment building out of sausages using the overlapping split stack technique. Two distinct piles of extra sausages were stacked in pyramids 45 degrees from the sausage chimney. I brushed the sausages with my long fingertips as though the hundreds of sausages tossed aside were hot to touch.
"This was a bad sausage job" I said out loud.

>> No.22512145

>>22512054
It's a reference to old Spaghetti Westerns, but I've been going back and forth about adding them myself.
>>22512083
Lol, was trying to get across the idea that she's very thorough and methodical, and paint a more vivid picture of the scene, though, might not have the skills to pull it off. Could you tell what was going on with the fire or did it just sound like a jumble of descriptions?

>> No.22512253

>>22512145
It appeared jumbled as I casually read it here but it might work fine in context. I don't really know.

>> No.22512263

what might it mean if i forgot the word 'prompt' for a good 15 seconds?
also, 1 prompt please

>> No.22512306

>>22511834
I came up with that idea over two months ago so clearly you used telepathy.
And I only skimmed what you posted because yes, it's obviously a shitpost.

>> No.22512312

>>22511860
>pet peeve for repeating words in a sentence/paragraph
I'm glad I got over this bit of amateurish paranoia

>> No.22512316

>>22512263
Come up with a "Groundhog Day" style story (a character has to repeat the same minute/day/year over and over)

>> No.22512323

>>22512316
ok, ill work with that. thanks

>> No.22512377

>>22512312
Yeah may be off base here. Obviously, if something sounds good to you then trust your instincts and go for it.

>> No.22512399

>>22512312
>amateurish paranoia
no, it definitely is a real thing

>> No.22512431

>>22512377
i think this is good. this is like finding your 'voice'; but, it doesn't necessarily mean it's the best thing. some people (me) have a less appealing default prose

>> No.22512435

>>22512263
>1 prompt please
masterpiece, best quality, absurdres, highres, 1girl, large breasts, wide hips, looking at viewer

>> No.22512497
File: 1018 KB, 1024x1024, 00030-3666171295.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22512497

>>22512435
funny.. as the anon that initially asked for the prompt, i am fucking around in /sdg/ as well.
here's your curated generation

>> No.22512501

>>22512497
you, much like me, overdosed on proompting and forgot the original meaning briefly
I prescribe a break from AI for several months, that should help you recover your faculties

>> No.22512508

>>22510734
>self-contained narratives is a good way to turn pages

Not really. You turn pages and go to the next chapt because the story keeps going. A novel weaves multiple storylines across all the chapters of the book. And it's very difficult to write for this reason.

A series of short stories is a different thing altogether. A novel is at least an order of magnitude more difficult to write.

>> No.22512514

>>22512501
i'm actually just coming back from a long break, and not usually generating coomer stuff; though i will gladly take an excuse to generate some
the prompt i ask for here is just to practice writing a little each day

>> No.22512541

>>22512508
correct. a series of short stories actually makes you want to put the book down as the end of a chapter feels like and end, whereas the end of a chapter in a full-on novel feels more like the commercial break in a tv show that makes you feel like you can’t wait to see how the unresolved thing from the end of the last chapter gets resolved, thereby compelling you to turn the page

>> No.22512607

So. I am a fucking retard. Just realized that somehow I have been editing two separate drafts of my manuscript. I don't know when the files got split or how I didn't notice before now. But half my edits are on one file and half on the other. How fucking irritating.

>> No.22512813

New
>>22512809
>>22512809
>>22512809

>> No.22512923

>>22510799
>It's by a friend.
Makes sense. It's too good for this thread. It definitely feels like amateur writing, but it's as exuberant and individual as I always hope the amateur writing I read online will be, yet rarely is.

>> No.22513086
File: 61 KB, 680x794, Chad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22513086

>>22509529
I recommend not being a bitch and pussying out of your narrative choice of first person.

I can give you my short story written in first person if you want to see how I did it. It was a terrible experience and I don't want to do it again.

>> No.22513093
File: 59 KB, 500x361, Doesn't get it at all.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
22513093

>>22509530
I have two main characters and one of them is female.
Does that count?

I swear, my writing would be really appealing to women despite not being intentionally written as so.

>> No.22513127

>>22510907
>pic related
sauce?