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/lit/ - Literature

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22361110 No.22361110 [Reply] [Original]

>Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up, she was shitting brown water. The more she drank the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew.

>> No.22361119

Excellent writing, bravo!

>> No.22361875

>No human metal went into the forging of that blade
I encountered this sentence in the first chapter of A Game of Thrones, and instantly knew all Gurm fans were illiterate retards. I've been expressing my contempt for them on 4chan ever since.
>inb4 Gurm fans defend this drivel

>> No.22362073
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22362073

>>22361875
> I've been expressing my contempt for them on 4chan ever since.

prototypical example of a rentfreeoid

>> No.22362090
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22362090

>>22362073
Which one are you anon?

>> No.22362099

>>22361875
what's wrong with that line?

>> No.22362168
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22362168

>>22362099
Hoo boy.

>> No.22362181

>>22362168
idgi

>> No.22362203

>>22362099
im guessing "humans aren't metal"

>> No.22362211

>>22362203
that's very pedantic, nobody would read the line like that

>> No.22362222
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22362222

>>22362090
none, i dont read fantasy, im just amused by the hate jerm gets for decent writing

>> No.22362226

>>22362211
Give us your definition of "human metal". I'll wait.

>> No.22362229
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22362229

>>22362222
>by the hate jerm gets for decent writing
He's done some decent writing?

>> No.22362233

>>22362181
I believe you.

>> No.22362248

>>22362226
Metal handled/produced by humans.
It is implying something inhuman made a sword with something that could be described as metal, but isn't.
I think. I don't read these books.

>> No.22362254
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22362254

>>22362248
>Metal handled/produced by humans
Then why didn't he say that, instead of writing a nonsensical sentence?

>> No.22362278

>>22362254
It's a stylistic choice.
How would you write it?

>> No.22362294

GRRM deserves criticism for plot holes, shoddy worldbuilding and of course the inability to finish his fucking books. His writing itself is perfectly serviceable for the content.

>> No.22362296

>>22362229
for a nonmemey response, read tuf voyaging, its probably the best the jerm can offer

>> No.22362404

>>22362278
No metal known to men went into the forging of that blade

>> No.22362408

>>22362404
That sounds worse. Ive never read george but you are a retard.

>> No.22362472

>>22361110
>Sunset found Anon squatting in his chair, seething. Every post was angrier than the one before, and was dumber. By the time moon came up, he was rambling about brown people, jews and soi. The more he seethed the more he posted, but the more he posted, the angrier he grew.

>> No.22362487

>>22362254
It makes perfect sense to anyone sane and is less awkward and clumsy than "human-made" or something autistically accurate.

>> No.22362490

>>22361110
what is wrong with that line ?

>> No.22362570

>>22362404
You are changing the meaning there

>> No.22362584
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22362584

>>22361110
And to think this man wrote Elden Ring.