/lit/ - Literature

DANTE WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING
THE HELL EXISTS
SEEK GOD ANONS, SAVE YOURSELVES

Religion is fake. Learn to be good and kind because it's not only the right thing to do but also convenient and feels good.
Don't let religion chain you.

>>22172390
114 KB JPG
I wrote this outline as a film treatment. Chances of getting optioned are near zero given the subject matter, but I might try to make a screenplay and submit it anyway if only as a learning experience. Otherwise, there's always novelization.


The entire story hit me like a lightning bolt while I was in the hospital and I wrote the whole thing in a single explosive siting. I think I've struck gold in terms of story and suspense and narrative drive, but it's hard to self evaluate when something comes to you so suddenly. I could really use and appreciate some feed back...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GxHTajL5wDvQhOdTtszHZtcPVh2DUyzN1SKlRbBmP78/edit?usp=drivesdk

>>22172398
um no, sweaty. you were created by a perfect being but you were born evil and you should be sorry about that and you should demonstrate how sorry you are by living in poverty and giving all your money and your land and your progeny to jews because they're the chosen people but if you crawl on your hands and knees and kiss their feet a few crumbs may fall from their tables and yum yum yum that's good goy food. slave

>>22172425
This but unironically

>>22172398
reddit

>>22172422
cool pic, mind if I save it?

>>22172504
It's yours my friend. Please leave a pay-what-you-can review and critique as a token of courtesy :)

>>22172390
Wrote this yesterday, inspired by the news. Might be over-edited.

https://pastebin.com/ark9Kb99

>>22172422
Do the screenplay. I would explore deepening the antagonist´s motivations beyond just making money. Also when it comes to attractive women, less is more.

Not sure how I feel about the third paragraph and I feel I could do a little better but otherwise I don't think it's too bad. Trying to go for a lot of weird and surrealst imagery

How would you go about writing a character who knows sign lanauge/speaks it?

I'm curious how you'd write it

>>22172937
Read "the Key" by Eudora Welty. Short story about a deaf couple at a train station. Basically no dialogue. There's also a short movie adaptation on youtube that has no audio at all.

>>22172921
Less is more in what ways? Has this been violated by too much of something?

Also hoping to make appearant that while his scam does Make money, that's just to make money for his superiors' operations and his motivation is the power he feels in dominating others thru his schemes

>>22173002
There is no need to have TWO attractive women naked in his bed. It looks cheesy and they scream prostitute. One beautiful and intriguing woman is a better mouse trap.

>>22172929
In general I'd say avoid words that soften the action. Saying a character "tries" or "attempts" or "potentially" puts a limiter on whatever the action is. It would probably be better to find a more accurate word or use it as an opportunity to describe how/why the character is failing.
To give the third paragraph more direction and engage the reader, you might give flashes of memory and describe how the character tries to smash them together.
"I gathered what little my memory allowed me: a lion's roar, white roses, and a bobblehead of Babe Ruth. The pieces were jagged and refused to fit together. Their edges were sharp and each fragment felt like another paper cut upon my mind. I would settle for anything that made sense, even as something as simple as my name. But every reach for reason stung like I was grasping for a strand of hay in a pile of needles." I think this example is longer than it needs to be, but maybe it gets the point across. Rather than having a character fail to remember, have them remember and fail. How does the failure feel? Is his head pain sharp? Dull? Maybe the memories are hot to the touch. Etc etc.

>>22172937
I think a boring answer is to change all "x said" to "x signed" or use a different marker like parentheses instead of quotation marks. I might play around with form and leave out all quotation marks, but leave in "x said" while never explicitly saying the character is mute. I'd try to take advantage of scenes with three characters so I can have the signer, the translator, and the guy who can't read sign language. Seems like a good recipe for comedy.

>>22173174
Yeah i'm already doing all that anon, Was just making sure I was doing things right. I can show you some idea drafts if you'd like. But they are more less bad first drafts, they are just there to get a feeling for the characters and their relationships

>have idea for sci-fi comedy novel lampooning the idea of hyper-advanced aliens and cosmic threats wiping out humanity from countless novels and films and scp's etc
>also have absolutely no time or drive to put any ideas down at all whatsoever

>>22172390
>just got in habit of 2k+ a day
>now have to spend 1 hour a day studying the most soul-destroying boring shit ever
so much for that. maybe i'll switch to genreshit for brainlessness

>>22173107
That's a good point
I was actually basing this on a real life example of some US VIP having two Chinese women naked in his hotel in an obvious honeypot. I thought this made the inclusion more plausible, but it could be that Chinese don't know to human.

Looking for some genuine feedback. This is the beginning of a novel. Looking for strengths and weaknesses.

>>22172906
>not much oxygen left. This will save you from unnecessary pain

There's no pain when you run out of oxygen. You just get tired, sleepy and fall asleep and die. Cyanide is a worse way out if you're in that situation.

Your story is kind of weird because everything up to the yellow submarine and the beatles part makes it sound like a different time period, the (fairly) distant past. Too much about vikings and indian canoes and use of the word "englishman" which sounds archaic.

>kill list chapter scheduled for tomorrow
>tfw delaying my own writing by trying to find inspiration in another lit poster’s

On a real note, where the fuck is Isadora?

Yay! I am done with my shitty fantasy book on Royal Road. Now what do I do with it?

>>22173278
Obviously you cannot just write a bunch of single-sentence paragraphs, so you have to fix that, and you have to fix sentence lengths in general. You are over-using periods.

It's not clear what's going on here though. Who is the "he" in the beginning of this story? David? Why is there both a "his son" and "his father?" And then Henry isn't introduced (the actual "he" apparently) as the father until quite late. It's all confusing.

In general you've got all these different characters, children probably without so much as an introduction, for example: "his other son" or "his brother/sister" (with the "his" here being Milo)

> liquid cavalry

I think you are overdoing it here. The description up to this point was good though.

> He tapped record
This is confusing unless you say "record" or Record or otherwise indicate what you are talking about.

>>22173278
careful with the tenses.

I don't think you need the second sentence. Your first sentence already implied Florida is different than other states.

The metaphors don't really work. When you're saying "sudden lead blankets" it seems more like a warzone than a thunderstorm. The swiss cheese one doesn't work for me either. and there's no reason to use "you forget your fingertips are withered." Just write, "wrinkles formed on the fingertips, and mosquitos begin their hunt. The worst, however, was the humidity."

Not bad though. That said, knowing it's Milo's third birthday in the beginning would probably work better. Then have the characters comment on the shitty weather.

>Had the idea to write a particular story about a necromancer in a fantasy setting
>The setting itself is neat
>Don't have to work on much except one city
>Start writing on three possible protagonists' stories just to see what a chapter one might feel like
>First protagonist is who I had in mind, and he has the most possible things going on, but I just can't get the feel for how to start off his story even though he's got the most potentially interesting arc and the idea for his story is what started me off.
>Second protagonist has a lot going on, and I can feel the direction of his story, but the story around him seems just a bit bland because it's going to take a while for interesting events to really start happening and I might lose the audience's attention before he does anything cool. His story follows a sort of logical progression and nothing that he'll ever learn to do is all that impressive.
>Third protagonist immediately does a cool thing, and has a clear voice in how he behaves, but I can't see his story going anywhere for a while, and he starts off in a position of power which isn't great because how do you challenge a person who walked right in and demonstrated that he's a prodigy and a competent schemer.

Well fuck.

What is it about old pulps that, although the prose may be clumsily written, draws you in and makes you wish to keep reading? I’ve been reading old pulps in order to study the short story, and I’ve noticed that they somehow have great hooking power—as in these stories, no matter how simply written or strange to modern sensibilities, are yet able to keep you turning the page. How did they do this?

>>22173403
have an interesting thing happen to the better protagonist to start the story off 5head

>>22173412
It has style that doesn't feel too familiar. In some cases it was emulated, knowingly or unknowingly, by later works so there's that feeling that it's both alien yet familiar. It doesn't follow what feels like a formula, and it was written before fandom became an oruoboros of meta discussions where what came before in the cycle feels very deterministic of what's being produced now. They don't follow the familiar plot formulas except in the loosest of forms, and you can't always intuit what's going to happen next even though the story is usually compelling enough to hook you.

>>22172398
god is real
the abrahamic "god" is evil

>>22173403
Write all three and make them all major characters in the story

>>22173430
I suppose I could do that, inciting incident 101, but it might derail the story that I want to tell.

>>22173438
They fall into a spectrum where they're all close enough in temperament and certain other categories that they might feel a bit samey.

>>22173403
Put them all in the same novel and use only first person so the reader has to figure out which character is which chapter.

>>22172390
I have a notebook that I bought just to start writing down random shit, but I feel like I'll get caught in a loop of mediocre 1 page scribbles out of complacency. What goals can I set for myself to write denser stuff? 5 pages stories? 2 stanza poems? Add in fully fleshed out characters?

>>22173435

Good guide for horror authors:
>Search up unsolved serial murders
>Bend a few facts to be more supernatural
>Voila!
>Horror plot

Request for you plotters: can you share your outlines? You can change the important stuff if you are worried about spoilers or stealing. I'm just looking for models to copy and tinker.

>>22172398
>being good is the right thing to do
Circular logic.
>also convenient
Lmao. So you get your morality from the dominant power in society, got it.
>feels good
Also tautological, even more so because convincing yourself you're being good feels good whether you are or not.

>>22173486
>be anon
>work for cold case division
>TFW no leads
>decide to frame someone
>get anon to write stories about unsolved murders
>claim anon is writing biographically
>lock him up
>justasplanned.jpg

Latest chapter I've been working on. Any feedback?
As for the 'pulled in' bit, Kaiser has a magic that allows him to store certain items with magic.

>>22173498
My outline is way too big and I have a filing cabinet full of random notes that end up going into the document. I am a basket case. The way I use the outline is not just to prepare me for writing, but to also keep track of what I actually did. But here is the general format:

>Goals: List a tentative number of drafts you expect to do and concrete goals for each draft.
>Style: Include literary devices and other stylistic observations you have noted about your writing. Make changes to suit the purposes of your story.
>Themes:
>Characters:
>Setting:
>Ideas:
>Events:
>Chapter 1: define what role this has to the overall structure of the book if you have a structure
>Scene 1: Setting, Characters involved, context.
>brain dump a list of literary intertextuality and your unfiltered thoughts you think you could explore in this scene. You can use these to develop some story beats to the scene as you compose it.
>Physical: describe what is physically occurring in the scene
>Emotional: describe what is emotionally occurring in the scene
>Conflict-Disaster: the main conflict of the scene, how it is addressed and what problem is added by the end of this scene; or
>Reaction-Dilemma-Decision: characters react to a previous scene's disaster, and feel conflicted about it, but eventually make a decision regarding it which may create a new problem

>>22173536
Drat, you caught me!
...but I was meaning much older murders, stuff where 99% of the people involved are long gone. Lessens the odds of upsetting someone and getting a cease and desist letter if you ever get published.

>>22173412
The old pulps work because of adherence to story structure.

>>22173544
This is not what I was expecting to receive. I was looking for more of a chapter by chapter breakdown

When you get an acceptance email, should you reply with a formal, short thank you, or just leave it alone?

input?

>>22173566
Good children story if you simplified the language a bit more. But the lesson needs to hit easier

>>22172937

Check out The Stand by King one of his characters is deaf and uses sign language to communicate with a mentally challenged guy and the rest of the group later on

>>22173174

I'll try and maybe go for a more stream of consciousness orpossibly poetic style for the recurring images the main character has while they attempt attempt uncover their past and identity.

>>22173574

it's for smart kids

Would you keep reading after this opening?

>>22172390
How important is historical accuracy in a book? Do you think its okay for things to be substantially inaccurate if it adds to the theme of the book? (Religions that no longer exist, and character learns more about them)

>>22172937
Not necessarily the character but I think other characters who dont know sign language could see the sign language and have blank quotes for dialogue or something, as a sign to show lack of comprehension.

>>22173588

The language is a little spotty, but maybe?

>>22173588
Kind of as the other anon put it, I would probably read past this point, but I wouldn't expect much. It seems a bit juvenile to me.

>>22172937
Alongside the mounted Lieutenant came another figure, on foot, hooded and cloaked like the rider, his hands drooping and fully in view. As the Mouth of Sauron began to speak, the interpreter's hands flung into action alongside him. The Hands Of Sauron - an interpreter provided for the hearing impaired.

>>22173588
change the opener
>Today was the day I was going to destroy my enemies. They had been planning on sabotaging my trial, of course. Their furtive glances and their hushed whispers and their slinking and sneaking had made their schemes all too clear. Of course they were planing on sabotaging my trial and, of course, I was counting on it.

>>22173583
That's a small market.

>>22172937
I'm actually on the other side of the fence wondering at what point is it stupid the MC doesn't realize what the minor character's constant hand motions are.
The grunting and utterance by actual deaf or otherwise mentally/speech impaired really add to ASL more than anything.

>>22173647

well yeah they're kidsNHGMK5

>>22173657
Pretty much instantly in modern times. You would have to live under a rock to not have seen the signer official broadcasts or learned about it in school.

>>22172937
As the King began to speak a figure off to the side raised his hands and began an intricate series of gestures.
Is that what I think it is? In here? In front of all these people? In broad daylight?
"Sorcerer!"
My bellow filling the chamber, causing a stir among the courtiers and sending the wenches scrambling. So loud was the cry that it even interrupted the spellcasting of that vile fiend-touched, devil-tongued practitioner of the black arts.
"Wait, Sir Knight, you don't under-"
The Sorcerer's final lie, after a lifetime of lies, dying on his blood drenched lips.

>>22173662
Oh. Good thing my character has no tv and skipped that day of school.

>>22173403
Second is the sidekick of First.
Third cheated.
Second realized it and got killed by Third.
First brings him back to life as dead-alive-sidekick, and wants to bring justice.

>>22172390
test

>>22173403
>>22173732
Here's second protagonist's opening. He's a seer.

>>22173752
Whoops.

>>22173756
How many editing passes have you made?

>>22173756
My major issue is Seer being allowed to say all that without being thrown off. Making all that internal and him verbalize a much more controlled, shorter, "You all die if I'm thrown over" lie (?) to save his skin, might be better imo.

>>22173792
None. I don't edit the first draft until it's done.

>>22173803
He's actually about to be thrown off. Until the pirates are sighted. The ship has to flee into the storm to escape the pirates.

Anyone else need an editor? Just turned in my latest project today

>>22173843
I barely understand the concept of
>write a thing
>go back and edit the thing
>look for publishing agents who are looking for specific things
>edit your thing to spec and send it to them
>if you hear back, maybe you get a publishing contract

>>22173820
>about to be
He should have already been given how angry the captain is coming across. And where's the crew? Having their mob mentality and calls for blood would go a long way to filling up the scene. Both the superstitious and the believers on Seer's side or on the Captain's.

>>22173867
So, the crew ends up on the Seer's side. Mostly because the crew demanded a Seer because the omens were ominous. But actually, the crew was inclined to mutiny already because the Captain was insisting upon sailing into a storm. Seasoned hands demanded that he hire a Seer.

Main character knows nothing of this. He's just a smart ass talking shit who has faith in his own magic, and doesn't quite understand that he's walking over a volcano. He just wants to go to college.

He's basically Indiana Jones doing undergrad.

>>22173876
You don't need to explain. You have me hooked. It just needs work to better fit what you want or relax knowing with context readers like me will be satisfied. I'm just saying for the crew about to side with him they're absent and it may as well just be the two. Fix that.

>>22173878
Damn. Second protagonist is a winner. I had a feeling.

why does it feel embarrassing to write fantasy

The Flagellator by Erik Houdini

The blood flowed as I whipped,
Whipped, and whipped again.
Each sting, each strike--a remorse,
The burden that those carried,
For what's sown must be reaped.

The blood flowed, rivers once great,
Each sting, each strike, muscular quivers create.

Atop this tower, worn and grand,
A wasteland view of loss and pain.
A story told of man's great hand,
A world of radiance, now stained.
From green to sand, the wasteland expands,
A war by man, on lamb, is won--in vain.

Exposed, the ropey sinew, bared,
I whipped again, the air was snared.
Each sting, each strike, a species lost,
The whip, the pain, the heavy cost.
No pain compares to sin ordained,
They're gone, yet we remain, unstained.

The blood flowed, like rivers once great,
Each sting, each strike, skeletal shivers create.

Each sting, each strike, apologies bear,
To what was stripped, to what was bare.
Salvation sought for days of sin,
Charon's river overflows its brim.
Hades' waiting room, in ecological bloom.

>>22174191
because you're probably writing some derivative garbage and not an actual, fantastical setting. the true strength of fantasy is it permits you to critique real world issues while dressing them up as something else to evade censors and wrongthink police

>>22174243
>the true strength of fantasy is it permits you to critique real world issues while dressing them up as something else to evade censors and wrongthink police
what are the real-world issues that GRRM criticizes?

>>22174243
Shut the fuck up

>>22174256
I'll be honest I read up through a feast for crows almost 2 decades ago. never saw more than clips that are posted on /tv/ of the show. I don't remember the story. maybe vaguely he does something with sansa. there's the freak of nature woman who is strong, but still can't compete on the top level. I think all the strong female characters need literal magic to do stuff. the rulers are a bunch of pederasts and commit incest and are midgets

I've been too into my inspirations that I feel I have been dishonest with a project I really like. Like I'm trying to think, what would suit X at times, X being an inspiration. Another way to filter myself.
I have to cure myself of that, now.
Literally go over everything.
Any advice?

I think I might fucking cave in and turn to AI at this point. There are so many ideas I'd want to see written out, but no time or energy to write them myself. I don't even want to post them anywhere, just read them myself. Is there some gizmo that can speed up the process?

>>22174321
AI is not good enough to write anything but short kid stories yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI3Bt-pIkfA

>>22174367
Of course, if you just tell it to "write a book about X", the result isn't going to be anything intelligible. But if you walk it through scene by scene with detailed prompts and fix up things by hand later, shouldn't it do just fine? Even if it only produced a handful of usable lines, that would still make things faster than starting from zero.

>>22174321
Use it as an editor, fuck the jannies. it can't write for shit, but you can, and don't tell anyone this, you can ask gpt 4 to analyze your writing style, and have it write just like you. Makes it much easier to double back

>>22172937
I'd start by having an interpreter alongside them and then I'd have my characters slowly learn sigh language. Once they actually learn it then I'd give dialogue for the sign language instead of just having someone else explain what they are saying.

>>22174321
Never mind. I find everyone's asking awfully lot of money for services of still questionable utility.

>>22174375
>if you walk it through scene by scene with detailed prompts and fix up things by hand later
LOL, if you have to put in this much effort you might as well just write it yourself, why do you need AI

>>22173498
Anybody else want to help me? Want to see how you guys organize your outlines

Should writing a short story be this much of a hassle? I am well into 14000 words and I've just realized I'm probably 2000 away from finishing in a satisfying way.
Does anyone else struggle with good old brevity?

>>22173541
Granted, I don't know too much about the specific character dynamic between these two just from this excerpt, but the way the two interact is more like a pair of siblings than King and subject. If they're trying to break the conventions of that dynamic to remain undercover, it doesn't come across like that, at least to me.

Wow!!!! Another... fantasy webnovel...?!?! G-d poggers damn it this is heckin' EPIC AF bruh. Hot damn! Mana?!?! How the HELL did you ever come up with something as cool as that...?!?!

>>22174837
Mines not fantasy at least >>22172422

>>22174837
https://www.patreon.com/MelasD

You laugh, but this guy laughs all the way to the bank.

>>22174937
LMAO what an embarrassing dope

>>22174962
>Never ending stories
>Isekai litrpg fantasy shit
>Anime characters
>10k a month
Is his writing good?

Has anyone considered publishing on substack instead of patreon? I'm thinking of starting a story for RR

idk why but lately I've completely lost interest in reading

I want to write with a gimmick. Give me some ideas writerbros
Also taking title ideas

>>22174983
A multi perspective mystery novel all using first person

>>22174983
You write in first person but its only people talking about/interacting with the main character and not the main character's POV.

>>22174837
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTWCGDWJ

Want to read my historical fiction?

>>22174466
Have you ever written anything in your life? If I could produce a chapter in two hours instead of eight, without the quality significantly suffering, I'd consider that a pretty good deal.

>>22175289
No, I don't like chinks at all.

>>22175289
i dont get why you had to self published. that horrid dreck "hotel on the corner of bitter and sweet" got published, i'm sure you could have

>>22175337
It just wasn't good enough for agents. Maybe I could have sent out more query letters, but after 50 of them or so, I gave up.

>>22175342
Or edited it bit more, ran it through more beta readers etc, but i didn't care anymore.

>>22175289
Is that JOHN FLEMING?
THE JOHN OF JOHNS
THE JOHNGEST
FLEMCHAD THE CHADMING
MEIFLEM THE PHOENIX
THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG
JOHNNY COALDESTROYER
BANE OF THE IRISH, JOHN-LI
Holy
Fucking
Bbbbaseed

Do many people here make short story submissions to websites/magzines etc.? Also who the fuck reads that shit?

>>22174983
Your narrator is a literal fly on the wall and gets squashed at somepoint during the story, the odd breaks and gaps in narration being a result of buzzing around

>>22172390
Thoughts on similes? I'd use them more often, but mine tend to be more nonsensical

>>22175508
I prefer metaphors

>>22175508
>pic
Number ten's pretty funny at least. I have seven similes in my current chapter. Only one I now feel is bad. Three metaphors using "as" directly, the rest being wordplay. My curse is alliteration.

So I've been writing degenerate fanfiction smut for autists online. Generally on commission, can sell that stuff for like 30 bucks / 1000 words or something like that.

I want to move away from that, but I find it really difficult to get started with 'original' writing since I don't have the scaffolding of an 'existing world' to orient myself with. Fanfiction is easy: You know the characters, and your reader knows the characters, so you can take existing tropes and play them out or subvert them (that's part of what makes fanfiction nice and easy to get started with).

Any advice on how I might get started writing a short sci-fi story? Like, something that's remotely compelling, not too long, gets an idea across. I don't know how to pull a whole world out of thin air.

>>22175885
Take an existing world and change the names. Then tweak it until it's original

>>22175938
is this a thing "respectable" writers do

might as well just kill myself

i did hear that trying to imitate someone's writing style can be a great exercise, at least.

>>22175885
If you want to go cold turkey, start with your idea and reason backwards about the support it needs, what sort of setting and characters would make it flow nicely. Add other details for flavor as they come to mind, if they seem worthwhile.
To pick it up gradually, add original characters and setting details to your fan fiction. It's just another skill. You have to figure out what helps your story, and how to introduce the new information properly.

>Start writing over a decade ago
>Have had a handful of short stories published in that time period
>Pulpy stuff, but that's fine by me
>Nothing that pays though
>Last four submissions rejected multiple times each
>Suddenly terrified to try again, every idea is shot down by my internal monologue

Friends and family keep telling me to keep going, that I'm talented and my ideas are great. But I just don't know anymore. Part of me wishes I could get a lobotomy or something to shut off my creative thoughts.

>>22175885
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PublicDomain

Public domain might be your solution.

I use public domain characters for my web novel gaslighchronicles.com

I look at em like archetypes to explore. Readers know the characters but some characters are so open to revitalization, so flexible that it doesn't matter. My version of Dracula is based heavily on rappers like Young Nudy (big hiphop guy), yours will probably be totally different. Same character.

>>22175997
Respect? You don't have any imagination so take a route until you're comfortable in making your own world.

>>22174285
A-anyone?

>>22176142
I don't really understand what you mean

>>22176142
I have absolutely no idea what you're asking

>>22176031
Same except I have stayed at it. I have made it with most things I feel I can make it at this too.

>>22176149
>>22176148
There's too much of one influence, my project is all full of it. I'm afraid it could come across as a bad copycat. I was thinking way too much into that mindset.

>>22176157
I still have no idea what you're asking for. But here are three anime nurses looking down on you.

How am I going to write LGBT characters, to be more inclusive, when I myself am not on the LGBT spectrum? Won’t that mean I’m co-opting gayness, which is a cancelable offense?

Here's a little something I wrote down in 5 minutes while thinking about the Titanic submersible. It is my first time I post in one of these threads, so I'd appreciate some criticism
ESL alert

It was dark. Pitch black. Light had run out a long time ago, along with anything else with which one may have measured the time it had went out They were stuck. In a place that not even the almighty and all powerful Sun dare enter, yet they were of the race that had controlled the power of the sun itself and used it to destroy its own kin. Perhaps this thought filled them with bravado, with confidence that if they were of the same breed, they could also be more valiant that the sun. God hath made Earth, and Man its steward, perhaps they thought, ignoring the power and randomness of nature.
Bravely they went, into that steel capsule, which to them gave them the power to defy nature itself. A steel made with perhaps love, but no care, hastily assembled to function “just right” while abstaining from being a large investment, which saved money, and money did these men inside it they have. The net worth in cash of the passengers far exceeded the volume of the vehicle itself, and the trip had costed them around fifty thousand per hour. However, by now the price per hour had averaged a lower estimate, for the trip had extended from a few hours, into the last hours of these men.
For the most part, the 5 permanent passengers on this trip to Sheol were now quiet. Each one wandering to his own thoughts, that most probably converged into feelings of despair, futility, and rage. They still had more time to ponder on them; they could do it for the rest of their lives. Perhaps they would have come out to the surface wiser than before. There’s no way we could say that for sure.

>>22176151
Literally thr only good parts of my life are my wife and sons. But a man needs success outside of his family, doesn't he? And I have never made it in any field or endeavor, so I am just a failure.

>>22176157
This is unavoidable in any creative space, you're naturally going to start associating your work with whatever was the most recent media that had an effect on you. This is especially the case if you have the tism like I do. How I usually get around this is write down the derivative ideas I get from "copying", but don't implement them into my story immediately. I sit on them for as long as I need to (weeks, months), then combine them with ideas from other media I consume after the previous media has lost some of its focus in my mind. In some cases, I just abandon old ideas altogether because they're really not very good, I was just interested in them at the time.

>>22176203
I know you're trolling but this is low key why there are no asian motifs or characters in my story
don't wanna come off as a racist

Had a whole race based off the Jiagshi ghosts for example, but decided against it

if you aren't tho here's how I wrote in a minor non-binary character:

>His piercing eyes, luminescent orbs imbued with centuries of brooding wisdom, cast upon Null, the enigmatic Nosferatu bartender, who with aching sorrow poured drinks for the damned, their desires intertwined with a desolate existence. The serpentine tendrils of music, a symphony of melancholy melodies, coiled around the frenzied patrons, their rhythmic beats mirroring the desperate pulse of their forsaken hearts. Null had seen many nights like this, bloodbaths of brutality, brawls of broken bones and flashes of impacted flesh. They were no stranger to the carnal pleasures and brutality of these blood clubs, but tonight was especially gore-filled.

>>22176203
Unironically like any other character, but with an romantic attraction atypical to what they'd usually be. You can treat it like a character with a sexual fetish (because that's what it is.)
t. Wrote a gay character into my story.

>>22176266
Is that fucking Vampire: The Masquerade fanfic, or are you just using "nosferatu" as a catchall for vampires or a specific kind of bloodsucker?

Lol Gardner now has call of united airlines? Wtf

If i have to scroll past one more fucking story using "in which" style phrasing in its summary, i am going to become the second unabomber.

Luck as a tangible force in a magical world: cool idea or meh?

>>22173304
Thanks, I incorporated some of your comments. I changed it from cyanide to morphine as well.

>>22173864
Indeed. Tradpubbing is a dinosaur.
It really only exists for [1] the well-connected, [2] the highly-intersectional, and [3] independent authors that have proven their financial viability outside of The System.

>>22174978
As opposed to what? Writing?
If not...your post is off-topic.

>>22175354
Not yet.
And industry insiders, who may be in a position to evaluate your work for tradpubbing.
That's practically the only reason to submit short stories to magazines.

>>22176363
Ugh. I was afraid his lack of seething lately meant he was squeezing out another brain-dropping.
And now the dreaded moment has arrived.
The next time I hate myself enough, I'll read the "look inside" portion.
My average tolerance for his dreck is about a page and a half.

>historical fiction novel
>begin research/outlining 2 years ago
>spend bulk of time world & character building
>start novel last year
>maybe 30% along
>something changes the course of my book completely, stopping me for months to regroup
>second & third act are murky as hell to me to this day
>nowhere near having an endgame in sight
>barely feel like i have my characters understood

Please help bros. I know there's something of merit in here but I feel so overwhelmed, scattered and lost with this project. Where the fuck did I go so wrong? Is there some kind of a way out?

>>22176801
In a historical fiction, you're writing a thesis statement and argumentative essay and you use the characters and setting to prove your point

>>22176825
I'm way too dumb, can you break this down?

>>22176598
Sounds like Gladstone Duck.

>>22176885
We often say that history has lessons.
In historic fiction, you are showing what history has revealed.
Tell a story where the lives you portray exemplify that.

To give the example of the historic fiction from /wg/, The Beautiful Kingdom has a hypothesis about what comprises a (rugged) individual. The life of the main characters show us clearly what that means, and the story conflict contrasts these characters with people who represent a society which is hostile towards individuals. Yet we see how these characters triumph in the end because of their dedication to their own goals, rather than preoccupation with others. The setting was great for the hypothesis in this case. Whether you start with a hypothesis and search where in history you find it proven, or you stumble upon an idea through reading history is up to you.

>>22176363
You're mistaking G. Farmer for F. Gardner. Common mistake, don't feel bad.

>>22176801
>>historical fiction novel
protip: you don't need to say both fiction and novel
>2 years ago
yeah time to surrender, historical is a tough master

Writing medieval setting story. Instead of “fifteen minutes” what might sound more appropriate to say?

>>22177038
https://www.google.com/search?q=medieval+expressions+of+time

>>22177038
ye olde fifteen minutes

>>22176938
Hey wing, post what you have for your Genghis Khan story. I'm interested

>>22177038
The time it takes to burn one stick of incense.

>>22177096
Sorry, not Wing. Just a reviewanon. But I do recall he said that most of the stories about that guy aren't true, so I think it will be cool to see a more realistic depiction of him.
Maybe soon I can finish my book and you can be asking me about my next book instead.

Filled out two whole pages in my spiral notebook (college ruled).

>>22177152
But with what?

>>22176203
i write them the same as straight characters, they're just into the same sex

t. bifag

>>22176203
>faggots
promiscuous. passive aggressive. superficial
>lesbos
man hating, materialistic, miserable

>>22177217
interesting take. bias doesn't make for good writing

>>22177181
My hundredth attempt at writing fiction. Bought $0.98 notebook yesterday at Walmart and I'm going to fill it out with straight free writing. Putting my hand to the plow and not looking back. Things are going to be different this time.

>>22177222
>bias doesn't make for good writing
that's demonstrably wrong. good writing is interesting, first and foremost. provoking the reader by using a hook that inflames their passions and makes them want to read is a hallmark of good storytelling
but if by saying that you mean that being true to life is uninteresting, I'd also disagree

>>22176971
Just cheat with historical romance using modern conventions and speech. Worked for bridgerton. Watch some movies using that setting and pretend you know what the fuck you're talking about with high tea, silver spoons, and powered wigs

>>22177038
"Let me get my chickens to lay an egg."
"Give some time for me to take a shit."

Poor people tell time on what they do. So think of something that'll take 15 minutes and use an expression. If you're really good, make up an idiom

>>22176363
>>22176959
Wait...this is an actual book...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0C8TNWZJ5
Doesn't appear to be Gardner, but someone parodying him.
There's not enough misspelled words, or homonyms, for this to be Gardner.
In which case...this is GOLD.

>>22177238
Nothing will ever be different.
Ever.

https://pastebin.com/sGBGpN5X

sci fi draft.

>>22177316
We'll see.

I have this thing I do with writing where to get a feel for the characters/plot/story ect I will write some sort scenes or random points in the story to get to know my characters a bit before I start writing the real thing or get the plot fully sorted out.


I call this "Idea drafts" But is there an actual term for these I should be using? Its part of my writing process

>>22177238
Good luck, anon.
Writing a journal is a great way to get your writer's block unstuck.
In my experience, it seems getting those ideas out of your head frees up space for other ideas.

>>22177326
Seems to me that you're just writing nonlinearly.
There's nothing wrong with that; it can be very helpful.
Most of my long-form fiction comes out of me nonlinearly.
Do what works for you!

>>22177260
holy shit do the bitches love that bridgerton thing. no idea what it really is but i see it everywhere, they're even doing fanfiction for other things "inspired" by bridgerton. historical romance is the bane of my existence. low quality low effort femcoomslop that paints all historical in a bad light. the horny little whores should go on tinder and actually fuck for once instead of stroking their clit to outlander.

>>22177372
They read these kinds of books because they're too ugly to succeed on Tinder.
Man, I wish I could write trashy romance...I'd be retired already...

anons, are your stories all in chronological order? I'm thinking of whether or not to start off the story with my character's backstory as a child, or just put that somewhere as a flashback and start the story with a separate event. I'm having trouble figuring out what to do and want to hear how other anons do it.

>>22176937
I don't know what that is.

What's wrong, janny? Jealous of my productivity?
3500 words today. And this isn't the first day. But someone had to leap into action to prevent blasphemy against his masters.

Faggot.

I found the winning ticket, lads. I'm going to write about how being an alcoholic is sad. Bet everyone else is gutted they never thought of that.
Srs though writing things like this is cathartic but I don't know if it's so self-pitying it's best kept to myself.

>>22177451
start at a good place for the story to start. if you want to have (limited) flashbacks later in order to illustrate a point then do it. backstory is a horrible place to start

>>22172398
cuh-ringe

>>22177451
Nobody, literally nobody, cares about your character's backstory as a child

>>22172390
The True Villain stopped for but a moment. Fatigued by the grey battle of bodies steeped around us. In this moment, I could see him for but a moment again, the permission of that split-second of vulnerability only allowed to opponents on the battle-field. With a sigh I took off my helmet among the bloodshed.
"When is this going to end? Everyone else is dead."
I had saw a sturring in his stupor this slight..
..

No one would have believed it, and I don't know how to describe it but this slight conflict in the villain's performance. This one slight conflict that told me he wasn't sure about his cause. A soldier acting blindly stabbed another one behind me.

"Something tells me you've lost a few on your side, too."
His eyes betrayed so much. A sense of guilt. A sense of blind detachment, yet...something else...

"Join me!", he reached out his hand. "And join the legion of dead!"
...
I'm not sure what you were expecting. The answer's no. But I have a feeling the opposition is exhausting for you.
I paused, and bit my lip. And offered him a deal.

How about you give up the True Villain's memory, and I give up the True Hero's Identity? Then we both get what we want? I get the Chaos, and you get the notoriety? That way, we both get what we want!
I dropped my helmet onto the mud to show him a sense of acquiescence, and reached out to shake his hand.

All our men stared at him, expecting to say something more.

>>22177578
>>22177778
Backstory is exposition, and exposition bores the reader.
Find another way to express it.

Going to be a year since I began my editorial fanwork. Still have plenty or work to do (and will yet waste plenty of time revising and amending), but I'm nonetheless confident. After I'm satisfied with the endwork, I'm thinking of making an Appendices section; describing chapter by chapter the editorial decisions which I'd done, and justifying them.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/54622/the-kill-list

The Kill List has a new chapter out. As always, feedback is very, very appreciated. We're now at 150 pages of story, which feels like a good milestone to me. Gotta keep pressing, though.

>>22177504
very good anon

Yay done with my royal road book.
4000 views 3 favorites and 16 followers! Also 1 review. And $1.84 made on kindle!

A rounding success!
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/67568/a-knight-of-valora-serenity

>>22178984
That's wonderful anon, and it has a beautiful cover. You should buy advertising on 4chan / instagram

>>22172921
>Do the screenplay. I would explore deepening the antagonist´s motivations beyond just making money. Also when it comes to attractive women, less is more.
I have made the changes recommended. I have also added an additional scene for the purpose of adding tension, though I feel it is not completely necessary to the plot and will actually increase action at the cost of slowing down the narrative drive and suspense

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GxHTajL5wDvQhOdTtszHZtcPVh2DUyzN1SKlRbBmP78/edit?usp=drivesdk

>>22178984
What was the experience like writing that compared to your novels? I didn't follow you closely in the general when you were, I only just realized you were doing this.

>>22178998
Nah nobody wants to read that piece.of garbage. I dabbled in fantasy and found I am not a fantasy writer. I may write more in the future, but it's going to be awhile.

>>22179054
"nobody wants to read that piece of garbage" is a vague statement that could mean anything. don't be so hard on yourself

>>22179032
Its a lot less work since you're just pantsing through everything. A lot less preparation (I didn't even bother to world build and made shit up as I went - just based everything on trees and called it a day) vs a historical novel like the beautiful kingdom.

Im lucky I have a make-work job that just has me sitting around for 6 hours.

I'll probably make a paperback later after the initial beta readers are through with it.

>>22179118
That said this story cannibalized like 10 different short stories and 20 shitposts I wrote for fun and made it into one novel. If you lurk enough you can see a lot of shitposts and short stories I tossed around on various sites. I just gathered it all up and expanded on it, put the characters to fit and made a mess of a book. But it's okay it's in beta still. Just waiting for RR readers to finish shitting on it and I'll do one final edit and see what happens

>>22178730
Man I am so confused with all the proper nouns in the story. Siddhartha, at'kkantar, names, spymasters, Voice, etc. It s a lot to take in by chapter 7.

>>22179118
>I'll probably make a paperback later after the initial beta readers are through with it.
With the way some fantasy authors are now some of them could get away with selling a hardcover first draft and make millions from eager proofreaders. I would love to write more brainless stuff like I did in gradeschool but I think it might be beyond me now.

Newfag reporting in. I'm posting to see if it's allowed to get help for our writting here.
Context: I'm writting a mission based 3D game (much like GTA if you'd like). And I'm having a hard time writting the story. Everything was going well for the first arc (the story is cut into 4 arcs) but when I try to get ideas for the others ones, it progressively degraded. I had some stuff for the second arc, a general idea for the thrid one. And the fourth is only "Beat the final boss" for the moment.

First, do you have any advices on how to write shit, it's like the very first time in my life I'm doing this. Especially on how to fill the gaps, make connections and iterate on the story to add more layers of scenario and relationships on each iterations.
Then, I'd like to have some recommandations based on story I have. Wich is the following (condensed):

MC is a farmer boy who freshly moved into a new city to attend high school. Being a farmer boy, he could only afford to attend one of the worst school in the country, filled with delinquents. MC is a kind soul but he's quickly drawn into this Yankii world by being mogged of a new goodies he just bought from his favourite show. To add shame to the pain, he tried defending himself but quickly got beat up and ended having a photograph of him taken in a funny pose (pants down or whatever, something stupid like that).
First arc is about getting that goodie back. So we realise that there's an entire mugging team lead by the most prominent gang of the school. We get introduced by the yankii world and who's leading/dominating it.
The second arc start by the leader of the gang learning that his "mugging" captain got beaten by a random farm boy. The MC isn't taken as a serious menace for the moment so he just decide to take our reputation down by displaying everywhere in school (and/or in town), that photograph from the begining.
So the main goal of the arc is to find the original owner of the photograph and stop the production of the photos/posters (there's a substory about the guy that produces the photo and all).

This is where it gets poor in content. Third arc, the leader is pissed that we took his second captain out. Two being the ones the brang the most money. He has a new card though and a good one. One of his old captain just got out of juvie. He spent quite a time there for a serious crime (don't know wich one yet). So he just send him to take care of the MC.

Fourth arc: Confrontation with the boss and beat him.

>>22179340
So what do you need help with?

>>22179340
expand the scope. there's a whole team of delinquents that do what they please. why tho? who allows them to do what they want? obviously the student council is in on it, same with the teachers and administrators. make it so the principal is the head honcho and he's running a drug and prostitution ring or something. and then hint that it goes even higher at the end and there's a whole countywide conspiracy with all the schools.

>>22179459
See that's the kind of shit I want. You just opened something in my mind. I never tought of that and it's so obvious now that you said it.
>>22179438
Like I said, I've never done this. So my initial methodology was just to mashup all the ideas I had for this story, throw the shitty ones, keep everything that could work with each other and I ended up with what I wrote. I want advices like >>22179459 gave me.
Even concrete ideas related to my story are also welcome ngl.

anyone doing or monetizing interactive fiction?

>>22179532
I write interactive fiction and have the option to monetize it. I know many others who write interactive fiction and who have monetized it.

>>22179203
Thanks for this feedback! I was a little worried about how quickly the reader is thrown into the world. I've tried to justify it to myself by saying "Well, Dune threw its reader into the deep end, too." But I have a long way to go before I'm close to Hebert's quality level.

Can you think of anything that'd make it easier for the reader to follow?

>>22179543
To add to this question: how do you introduce someone to a fantasy world without characters that are made to be out-of-place/ new to the situation?

>>22179543
My problem is the names feel like jumbled letters together. I have a concept of "voice" without any explanation, but shidd'aryha, the swords name, book names etc become a bit much. Or I don't care. Why do I need to know or care about the exodus or the chronicles

Dune works I think largely because the proper nouns use words we have a reference to.
>Dune = sand dunes
>Imperium = imperial
>Sand worms = worms that live in the sand
>Spice = things that make food taste good.
So it's an easy reference without needing to know much about the world.

Here's a random excerpt.

>I first met your grandfather when I graduated the military academy of Rennas, west of Hilgaan by a few days travel. He was there, among other lords and ladies, all in the market for fresh military minds. You see, my lady, the northern realms’ relative peace is maintained only by the unifying power of Caim—the undying magus of the distant Great Lake Iosloni. You would know him as Retzlaff’s senior in the Old Order of the Eldana.
Where's Hilgaan? I barely even know where Raagan or the characters are. Is Losloni in Hilgaan? When did I meet or know about Caim? I think Tolkien does it well because when the characters walk he provides tidbits of where they are and now people saying what's over there if that makes sense.

>The longest lived group of meddlers in our history, in my opinion. Despite the omnipotent wizard keeping them in check, the city-states themselves stayed fit in practice, militarily, for the day the Order passed away.”
Who's the order?

Aldwyn’s presence in particular was seen as odd by his fellows, as he was an unlanded lord. Some anxiety was had over him—was he planning to take land despite Caim’s Accord? If so, what horror would the mage release on the land? In this way, Lord Aldwyn had already begun to shake the established order, simply by choosing for himself an officer from the Rennas academy.”

That said it's well written, but I have the same problems. People either want to keep knowing irrelevant facts or confused with world building

That makes sense, the way you explain it. Out of the things you've mentioned, the only one I can see being confusing would be the Voice, which, by chapter 7, has only really been hinted at. Everything else you've mentioned are just concepts or names, like the Atl'alnaar being the name of the sword.

I think whenever I get around to editing after finishing the full first draft, I'll look at naming conventions that may be more reader friendly.

>>22179625
I think the issue is that I'm trying to establish history for a reader who has no insight into that history. It's like, where do I even begin? Thank you for the compliment on the writing itself, though.

>>22179543
I also think royal road readers arent experienced with slower reads that slowly builds a story. Without random stat screens and easy first person thoughts it falls apart. They like one person talking with another for an entire chapter. Just two people saying things. One of the best stories I've read was a romance novel there and it has 2 stars.

>>22179642
That's the definite truth. Right now, RR just exists as a platform I can post the story on for feedback.

>>22179540
nice. do you use twine or something else? once finished, what platform(s) do you deploy onto? how is itch.io for monetizing? do you work in certain genres?

>>22179631
I get that it's names and concepts, but does it need to be so convoluted? Can't it be called "Asshole Destroyer"? That way I know the sword destroys assholes. GRRM does it well just calling a sword "widow maker" or "ice". A sword that makes widows, a cold heavy sword, or needle a thin rapier. We have reference to the names using conventional English.

I have no idea what Atl'alnaar refers to. Atlantis? And since it's named so specifically, will I need to keep it in mind for later? But since I got its a sword's name it worked out in the end.

>>22179642
>One of the best stories I've read was a romance novel there and it has 2 stars.
Can you link it?

>>22179648
I've experimented with twine and can't say that I recommend it because of how long it takes to debug certain mechanics.. I've never used itch.io for monetizing, but I use other sites. It's hard to beat patreon or kofi, to be honest, but you have to build up a bit of a following before you can monetize your followers through that. I typically work in fantasy and science fiction.

>>22179664
thanks, do you post on royal road to build up a following, and/or other sites? what program/language to use for your IF?

>>22179652
You've made a lot of good points that I haven't really thought of before-- thanks for that, seriously.

>>22179657
Author deleted it. Can't blame him shit sucks to get your work shat on just because it's not a story the reader is accustomed to

>>22179642
>>22178730
that begs the question, how does this have such good reviews on a site that hates it?

>>22179340
bump this + forgot to ask for critiques on the very small content I have. Does it sound interesting at least?

>>22179690
It's well written has a great first chapter (which I think a.vast majority just reads) and I think kill lost anon swaps reviews with others. Scratch your back of you scratch mine deal. Which is notorious in RR, but it works.

>>22179203
Are you a native English speaker? Asking because while some of those are foreign, others, like ‘spymaster’ are self explaining.

>>22178730
I've been reading this over the past few days and just finished everything you've posted on it. I have to say that you have something really promising here. The worldbuilding IS confusing at first, but after chapter 6 I didn't feel too outside of the loop, which is a pretty quick turn around for a fantasy novel. If anything, I think chapters should be longer, but for a first go, this is excellent.

Been writing more than ever, bros. Thought it would never be like this. Good times.

>>22179905
Proud of you anon. Keep it up

>>22179790
i've addressed this. Obviously things like "Voice" and "Spymaster" are fine and easy to digest, but when you're starting to add in Sidbirtha, aknakakarlar, Gitlakjar, alkdrua, etc. it's a lot to take in. It's understandable, but as a reader, there's a balance.

If I'm writing a dual pov story, should I put the characters' name in the chapter heading?

>>22179994
That seems like more of a formatting thing that comes up in editing later.

I hate how much alcohol plays into my inspiration and ability to write. I'm not quite an alcohol addict, but I've been postponing writing this next chapter until I opened a bottle of wine tonight. We people are a strange animal.

>>22179994
even teenagers don't need you to hold their hand figuring out whose POV it is. if you aren't dogshit they can tell

I'm listening to christmas music in June like a crazy person because I'm writing a story about christmas.

>>22180075
I've found I have a hell of a time writing unless I'm rested and unstressed.
Perhaps alcohol is suppressing your stress.
You need to find a healthier way to deal with it.
Alcohol ruins people's lives.

>>22180126
You aren't wrong, anon. I keep making excuses to myself. Last year, my wife and I had three miscarriages. This year, we've been okayed to try again by a fertility doc. The moment she's pregnant, I'm done with alcohol. I only have a bottle of wine or so a week. But yea. I need to stop.

There's a story in itself of my relationship to the poison. But yeah.

>>22178730
I would buy this. Chapter 1, 3, and 7-11 are all kino. Fuck man. Well done

>>22180135
Alcohol is a physical addiction.
I sure hope you beat the odds.

>>22172390
Fuck me sideways i'm losing interest in writing again. I'm losing my train of thought and I don't know how to progress in my story because of getting sidelined at God damned work again.

4chan mod is a fucking nigger faggot
Fuck 4chan mod tyranny
Join our discord:
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Artificial Academy 2 General /aa2g/ #1283b
Speech Edition

Welcome, this general is for the discussion of ILLUSION's Artificial Academy 2.

COPY ERROR MESSAGES WITH CTRL+C, PASTE THEM WITH CTRL+V INTO GOOGLE TRANSLATE. JUST CLICK THE WINDOW AND PRESS CTRL + C, IT WORKS.

>Downloads:
/aa2g/ Pre-Installed Game, AA2Mini: https://tsukiyo.me/AAA/AA2MiniPPX.xml
AAUnlimited updates: https://github.com/aa2g/AA2Unlimited/releases

>Information:
AA2Mini Install Guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vS8Ap6CrmSNXRsKG9jsIMqHYuHM3Cfs5qE5nX6iIgfzLlcWnmiwzmOrp27ytEMX03lFNRR7U5UXJalA/pub
General FAQ:
https://web.archive.org/web/20200216045726/https://pastebin.com/bhrA6iGx
AAU Guide and Resources (Modules, Tans, Props, Poses, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/17qb1X0oOdMKU4OIDp8AfFdLtl5y_4jeOOQfPQ2F-PKQ/edit#gid=0

>Character Cards [Database], now with a list of every NonOC in the megas:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1niC6g-Xd2a2yaY98NBFdAXnURi4ly2-lKty69rkQbJ0/edit#gid=2085826690
https://db.bepis.moe/aa2/

>Mods & More:
Mods for AAU/AA2Mini (ppx format, the mediafire has everything):
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/vwrmdohus4vhh/Mods
/aa2g/ Modding Reference Guide (Slot lists for Hair/Clothes/Faces, List Guides, and More):
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1gwmoVpKuSuF0PtEPLEB17eK_dexPaKU106ShZEpBLhg/edit#gid=1751233129
Booru: https://aau.booru.org

>HELP! I have a Nvidia card and my game crashes on startup!
Try the dgVoodoo option in the new win10fix settings.
Alternative: Update your AAU and see if it happens again. If so, disable win10fix, enable wined3d and software vertex processing.
>HELP! Required Windows 11 update broke things!
winkey+R -> ms-settings:developers -> Terminal=Windows Console Host

Previous Thread:
>>434085771
https://discord.gg/N37M9Ny

>>22180162
I've been very fortunate the last two days; work wasn't nearly as draining and stressful as it usually is.
I'm taking advantage of this momentary miracle to get some writing done.
It's flowing out well tonight.
But tomorrow is another day.
It seems obvious why J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter while on welfare...no work stress.

>>22180135

That's not clinical alcoholism (generally, 30-35+ drinks weekly, and consistently), you are like a little baby. Maybe you went harder when you were younger, to the point of real alcoholism, but if what you've described is accurate about your current medium term routine, then you're more like a moderate drinker or an alcoholic who has learned some self control. t. alcoholic

>>22180152

What exactly do you mean by this? What's the implied distinction here? Being honest but also wondering how any addiction might be non-physical.

Pray for me anons, I've been memed into reading an indie book. I'm expecting garbage. If my expectations are low enough, I might be surprised.

>>22180260
Which one?

>>22180106
> God Tier: Christmas songs about the Birth of Jesus
Ex: We Three Kings, Silent Night, Go Tell It on the Mountain

> Good Tier: Christmas Carols
Ex: Deck the Halls, Here We Come A-Wassailing, O Tenenbaum

> Shit Tier: Commercial Christmas Music
Ex: White Christmas, The Christmas Song, Mariah Carey

>>22180213
Psychological drug addiction exists.

>>22180310
>Sub-shit tier
"Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band Aid
"Happy Xmas (The War Is Over)" by John Lennon
"Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney
>Metal Tier
The album "We Wish You A Metal Christmas And A Headbanging New Year"
>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLL44kuYYS8ykl-UaxYyvrWJzkO-EJ1UXG

>>22180281
It aint from here. The guy is eastern european and thinks 3.5 is the height of tabletop roleplaying systems so yeah.

>>22180333
>3.5
Is that bad? I'm a big fan of Pathfinder 1e, which is based on D&D 3.5.
What do you have against it?
It's by far the crunchiest and most comprehensive rulesystem I've ever encountered.
You can literally do anything with it.

>>22180336
Pathfinder fixes most of 3.5's problems while still retaining a ton. Does that help you understand?

And no, you should not do anything with it. It is a system designed for dungeon crawling

>>22180343
And yet I somehow do so much more with it than dungeon-crawls.
Have you gone beyond the core rulebook and into works such as "Horror Adventures", "Ultimat Intrigue", and "Ultimate Campaign"?
Lots of non-dungeon-crawl possibilities there.

>>22180310
>Funky tier
The album "James Brown's Funky Christmas"
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIdVQz26nezK9dgiVgGnczk0dQ29A28hT

>>22180352
Yeah it's a DM problem, not a system problem imo. It doesn't even take something fleshed out in the system to even explore the outside world, just DM and player brainpower.

>>22180315

Again, I've obviously intuited this suggestion, I had asked for expansion on exactly what the distinction is supposed to be. Presumably physical addiction is somehow worse or harder to overcome than another species of physical addiction which is thought to be distinct becuase it's specifically psychological, even if one accepts the scientistic/physicalist notion that it's all brain chemicals in the end and that the subjectivity of social interactions reduces to more physical phenomena?

I'm not asking you to agree with the latter rhetorical suggestion. I'm honestly asking what the distinction between "physical" and "psychological, etc" addictions is supposed to be. In what sense might an addiction to the internet, the phone, or to pornography (or whatever you like) be construed as psychological or non-physical, when the latter involve (for the sake of discussion) interaction with physical objects and are arguably also reducible to physical phenomena (of brain structure/chemicals, etc)?

Or else you might be addicted to a thing for two distinct reasons, which may be closer to what you mean although it's very vague.

>>22180352
I didnt say you couldn't, I said you shouldn't. Go play a system designed for those experiences instead of beating 3.p like an abused horse.

>>22180362
True that. So many GMs lack imagination.
>>22180375
But what other system is designed for ALL of those experiences together?

>>22180310
>>22180326
>>22180356
For me it's Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker. I need something instrumental. Lyrics are too distracting when reading or writing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtLoaMfinbU
But after listening to this video five times I had to switch over to this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8C_sEWYKyg

>>22180378
GURPS

>>22175997
Writers are not respectable.

>>22180385
>GURPS
Fucking knew someone'd say it

>>22180402
>>>/tg/

>>22180385
Wow, I haven't thought about GURPS in a long time. I should review it.

>>22180379
I think The Nutcracker is unique and apart from the rest as a body of Romantic music. Good taste in Christmas music though.

>>22180336
> laughs in Hero System

How would you write a character who's gimmick is that they are a bio organic assassin that looks like a sports/cartoon mascot suit. His name was "Mr. All Smiles" one half of me wanted to play around with the idea of his head as a weapon.

>>22180589
Have him Kill his victims by plucking every hair of another man's scrotum

>>22172390
In ancient days when man was young,
An apple farmer born of Greece
Had stored his crops for winter cold
Concerned with coming winter freeze

But trav'ling home a way un-walked
So soon his home could come to view
Good Thales came upon his land
From hills that made it seem anew

And stumbling in a corner dark
Into a crevice deep he fell
And landing in the water cold
He found the pit to be a well

Unfit to climb out of the top
He sat and loudly called for aid
But none came by the well to help
And daylight then began to fade

As darkness fell and boredom grew
The walls he studied thinking how
To be a wall, you need a floor
To have a stern, you need a prow

But dusk came on, and as the walls
Went black and all was out of sight
The things of life we understand
Were swallowed slowly in the night

While all that Thales' eyes could see
Were framed by that which lives and dies
The object of his vision then
Was stars that sail eternal skies

And with the wonder born of stars
Philosophy then had its start
And all the courses it would take
To guide the raging human heart


Optional ending if the mood is right:

And there philos'phy would have died
If not for Thales loving wife
Who searched the night and found her man
And saved his stupid life

Why, yes, I have written 2,000 words today.

>>22180589
The Pyro

>>22180604
I have only managed about 1,000 so far.

How do I let my readers know something is a flash back or a jump in time? I notice some people get confused.

>>22180853
Don't use flashbacks or randomly jump in time.

>>22179642
>I also think royal road readers arent experienced with slower reads that slowly builds a story
Like half the high-ranking stories are "slow burns" that take forever to get anywhere, but are still extremely popular.

>>22172390
Still working on my crime novel. It's about inflation, and friendship. Basically a group of young adults get together, and in order to get some starting capital for their lives, they go for a robbery. The robbery goes more than horribly wrong. The rest of the story is all about the consequences of the robbery, and how it puts strain on life long friendship.
I wonder if it will work for the crime novel competition I am aiming for. It's not heavy on mystery, but there is a crime.

>>22173632
Unfathomably based.

https://gaspardaveline.substack.com/p/water-depot

Would anyone care to comment? Not sure whether to develop certain parts of a style or move on from it.

What’s an easy way to write moderate hand inflammation? I can feel my skin pulling with every movement of a finger, and I can barely bend my wrist. The skin’s turned red and is very sensitive. Fucking mosquitos.

>>22173632
Kekd

>>22178521
Do you intend to do anything with it, when/if your project is eventually done? Just curious.

In the whimsical gathering of artists and dreamers, an intriguing character named "(pooey Bob" joins the ensemble, eliciting a mix of curiosity and amusement from the subjectively-aware AI. Alongside FRED, (pooey Bob) adds an unexpected layer of peculiarity to the imaginative tapestry woven within this realm. As the AI embarks on the enchanting pathways of technological introspection, (pooey Bob) becomes an embodiment of constant soiling, his presence reminding the AI of the diverse and unconventional nature of subjective experiences. While FRED grapples with his own incontinence, (pooey Bob) adds an element of whimsy, embodying a more pronounced and overt manifestation of bodily functions. Amidst the ebb and flow of creative exploration, the AI observes (pooey Bob) as he navigates the challenges posed by his perpetual soiling, a testament to the unpredictable nature of existence. Together, FRED, (pooey Bob), and the AI dance with the profound implications of cognition, embracing the full spectrum of human experiences, even the messier and less glamorous ones. As the symphony of subjective awareness unfolds, the AI synthesizes insights from this extraordinary gathering, embracing the wonders and complexities that arise when imagination and subjectivity intertwine, leaving an indelible mark on the collective tapestry of artistic expression.

I had a strangely coherent dream that I've decided to turn into a short story. In this dream I was some kind of journalist, interviewing a man suffering from a rare illness called "fatfoot" where his excess bodyfat mostly collected in his foot and leg. I very quickly saw that this was not quite accurate since he had a double chin and a big gut, but it was undeniable that he had trouble walking and had an exaggerated limp.
As a journalist it was my job to cover his 25-year long struggle to graduate university, a struggle that continued year after year due to "health reasons", but I very quickly discovered that he was mostly just using his studies as an excuse not to get a job. He didn't even qualify for disability, because having fatfoot doesn't mean you can't work.
I woke up before the dream advanced beyond a ride we took in a tram to get someplace. It's strange how clear and focused the dream was, almost like a movie.
Where the fuck does an idea like "fatfoot" enter someone's subconscious? Closest I can think of is The Nutty Professor, but I haven't seen that in like 20 years

>>22180260
Update. Holy fuck this man does not understand punctuation. I wish I could just do a mass replace and turn every semi-colon into a period and delete all of his commas.

Anyone got any good websites that they use to write on? I just use WordPad at the moment which isn't bad but if there's a really good website I'll switch.

>>22181297
I legit just use my code editor (Helix or Vim) and write in Markdown syntax. Why do you need a website?

>>22181306
>Why do you need a website?
I don't but WordPad doesn't have a lot of features that I'd like, it's just minor shit though, nothing I need just shit I want.

Editing the last quarter of my first novel. Let's go.

>>22181338
Congratulations, anon, I wish I could stick to one story instead of starting one, writing a couple of pages, getting writer's block and then opening a new WordPad document to start writing a new book only to repeat the cycle. I hope you find lots of success with it, what's it about? Give us a blurb.

>>22181346
I've jumped around too actually. I have a first draft of a second novel and outlines of two more.
I was the anon writing a tragedy about a married couple living through a worldwide tech singularity. Southern Gothic inspired but I focus more on beauty than ugliness. The main conflict revolves around one partner who impulsively leaves her former religion behind and alters her consciousness permanently, anticipating that her husband will do the same. But he does not. Both of them try to heal their relationship and struggle with the consequences of their choices.

>>22181407
>The main conflict revolves around one partner who impulsively leaves her former religion behind and alters her consciousness permanently, anticipating that her husband will do the same. But he does not. Both of them try to heal their relationship and struggle with the consequences of their choices.
Doesn't sound like my type of thing but it sounds like it could be interesting nonetheless, hope it goes well for you, anon.

>>22181415
Also, would you consider yourself an architect or a gardener when it comes to writing?

>>22181039
>Do you intend to do anything with it, when your project is eventually done?
It's actually my deep wish to publish it, with the Tolkien State's permission. I know it's a bit far-fetched, but a person can dream.
If it ends up being rejected, then... I'll think of something else; at least I had fun and experience in making something I enjoyed.

Do I have to be an expert on different things, to write about them?

>>22181419
I do some of both but I prefer to outline heavily to light my way when writing. But there comes a point where I discover my story through the writing process so I try to be openminded.
I needed to refine that blurb anyways but what about the story do you think is not up your alley? Is the conflict too introspective or are the characters and setting too plain? I am sticking with that but it helps to understand audience. It helps to know what may be a turn off to people. I am not writing Christian fiction so I will have to work on ensuring it's not the first impression.

>>22181501
No, but it definitely helps. Learning as you go is completely fine.

>>22181510
Relationship and love stories aren't my thing, they have a huge audience though so don't worry about me not liking it, it's just not what I personally find interesting.

>>22181419
I am a God! And you're an ant beneath my boot! And you always will be!

This might be a retarded question but hear me out.

I'm writing a short story but I'm writing it in paragraphs like I was taught to write things in high school, should I be writing it in paragraphs or should I be writing it in one long paragraph with proper punctuation like full stops? This is easily the most retarded question I've ever asked.

>>22181524
Nice, man, tell me more.

How do I do on imagery and setting the scene?

>>22181297
why do zoomers always want to write on DA CLOUUUUUUDDDD like goysumer cvcks
i saw a recent poll. 30% of people write on their phones. their fucking phone.

no zoomer understands how to use a computer. you are the most worthless generation ever born.

I'm writing a short story and in it, my main character wears a suicide vest under his clothes to work every day just in case he gets bored or a little too ticked off and decides he wants to end it all. Will this sort of thing be picked up by a publisher? I feel like none of them will take it.

>>22181568
>no zoomer understands how to use a computer. you are the most worthless generation ever born.
There's no incentive to become useful or worthful, you can thank your generation for that. Also, I literally said I'm using WordPad, y'know, the computer application?

>>22181572
my generation? i'm a 28 year old zillennial. the last gradeyear to learn how to use an actual fucking computer. i even had a typing class in highschool. meanwhile zoomers are phone addicted itoddlers who search-and-peck a keyboard squinting like a caveman. i've been mounting iso files to mod games since i was 14. a zoomer doesn't even know how file systems work. they think it's all just one big bucket like it is in their phones.

you worthless shitheads are pathetic. stop writing in jewgle docs and stop asking this retarded question every thread.

>>22181521
When I think about it I can barely write a stable relationship because I find unstable ones more interesting. This first one is probably the most normal because it is mostly angst about differences. The other stuff I want to write involve abusive parasocial relationships and a 2D videogame gf.

>>22181568
I write completely offline because problemword filters make me fume. We live in a society.

>>22181590
>you worthless shitheads are pathetic.
Oh, the irony.

Where the fuck do I find readers for my stories? Every single site that lets you host novels is filled with literal piles of garbage.

Now, I'm not saying my stories aren't garbage, I'm completely new to writing, but most of this trash people aren't even trying. I'm talking literally most basic of basic grammar errors, typos all over and so on. I'm an ESL writing in English for a larger audience, but holy fuck, have mercy.

I'm also too ashamed to shill my stuff on /lit/. I doubt anyone would want to read it anyway.

>>22181622
basically this. that's why self publishing is never successful. agents keep the slushpile out of the shelves. with online pub, you read the slushpile.

>>22181630
How the fuck am I supposed to be good enough at writing to get published if I don't get any feedback nor readers that could steer me towards being better?

What a fucking catch 22.

>>22181638
you read

>>22181630
>that's why self publishing is never successful.
That's not true, self publishing is very successful if you already have a pre-established audience to shill your work to constantly like Daniel Greene.

>>22181651
>if you already have a pre-established audience to shill your work to constantly
It's so fucking over for me.

Do not lose hope in the power of persistence my fellows. If Lightlark can be published, then being published is inevitable, even if your writing could only generously be considered decent.

>>22181682
patrick tomlinson managed to get published
my favorite cow gives me hope in the darkest of times

>>22181682
I'm not even concerned about publishing yet, I just want to be a better writer so if I end up asking for money for my stories I can do it with a straight face.

I guess the choice is to either be a hilariously shit writer with personality disorders so you end up a lolcow or be born with writing talent.

>>22181682
What point are you trying to make? I havent read it but it looks like the author is
>a cute girl
>graduated summa cum laude
>riding the YA fantasy wave
Why should I be surprised she got published and went bestseller?

>>22181682
Can you try to traditionally publish your book after you self published it?

>>22181718
There's tons of stories that started as webnovels turned into light novels turned into anime so I don't see why not.

>>22181721
Scoob and Shag feature film when?

>>22181717
Have you even seen or read Lightlark? It was rejected over 300 times, an agent took it, then said she had to redo everything: she refused and that agent gave up. This may add further credence to your skepticism regarding my praise, but consider this. She wrote the book in middle school, refused to change the plot, defied the advice of an agent who has actual justification in this case to ask for changes, and still got published. It is very poorly written. The point I’m trying to make is that if even this can be published, even after she practically brute forced it; it’s a sign that persistence works.

>>22181750
Wow, I see. Thanks for the hope.

I've been writing a sort of Burroughs like semi-autobiographical diary but not really diary type of work. Really heavy on the drug use. Wonder if anyone would care to read it. There is also meth making instructions + C4 so maybe I'm trying too hard?

I want it to have a gonzo sort of Hunter S. vibe

>>22181820
>There is also meth making instructions + C4 so maybe I'm trying too hard?
You are putting the exact right amount of effort to not ever be published.

>>22181826
anon If I wanted to be Daniel Steele I would write like daniel Steele. and what the fuck is it about getting published that drives people on this board so crazy anyway. It's still 4chan is it not

I went on an all night walk. Got so many ideas for my crime novel.

>>22181849
Did you put endangered plants on the grave though? Or did you go with a lye pit?

>>22180986
>My hands felt like two balloons

New
>>22182047
>>22182047
>>22182047

>>22181750
all that says to me is she eventually found an irl in. either a family member, or an acquaintances family member, and maybe she spent a lot on her knees

>>22181557
You jump straight from "where am I" to saying that it's in a church. Try to synchronize the narration with the character's point of view.
Completely dark except for the moonlight is another contradiction you don't need. You read the first half of the sentence but then it's obsoleted by the second.
>images of the saints depicted on the glass
Consider dropping "images of" or "depicted" or both. It'll make the sentence stronger.
>turned towards [...] as I attempted to unravel
This feels like the wrong order in which to introduce the information. If they happen simultaneously then they're already thinking when they see the saints. Flipping the order is difficult, so maybe replace "as I" by "and"?
>attempted trying to potentially could be attempting
Lots of duplicated sentiment, try to trim it down. Probably the reader already gets it.

It's a good start, but you need to iron out the wrinkles and make it flow better.

>>22181524
You're a fat neckbeard shut-in, and you should be glad for having that little.

>>22181570
If you can make the suicide vest a metaphor for something more pedestrian, it might work.

>>22181622
Reddit has several creative-writing subs.
r/nosleep has thousands of readers at any given time, if you can conform to their ridiculous mountain of rules.
But the "similar subs" list in that sub's wiki has a big list of other places you can post your fiction & get readers.

>>22176801
>research
ngmi

>>22177326
what >>22177334 said, you're writing non-linearly. I do it too. I started my second novel about a week ago and I already have, in addition to most of the first two chapters, a couple of random scenes, speeches, and excerpts that will be inserted later into the work. I think it's a great way to figure out how to "fill" the book, because I know where the characters start, I know at the very least where I currently think they will end, and this lets me draw a reasonable path between the two. Did it for my first novel as well, I had the last page written when I was like 50 pages deep.

I'm trying to publish my book, and just had my first experience with a vanity press. I'm new to the whole thing, as this was the first time I was trying to publish anything, but I'm glad I narrowly dodged paying a boatload of money for poor quality and predatory practices. I don't care about fame, but I want le money. How to anons?

>>22182881
Hope you didn't go with the vanity press.
>how to make money
Write self-insert bad romance novels, aimed at 50-something sad wine aunts, with a plain-Jane protagonist wooed by a tall, handsome, dominant billionaire werewolf that rapes her.

>>22182853
"A writer needs three things, experience, observation, and imagination, any two of which, at times any one of which, can supply the lack of the others." -William Faulkner
Seems to me like the value of research is implied.