/lit/ - Literature

The pain is sharp and constant

>>21268286
Poetiska Eddan, Hávamál
83.
På ord av en mö
må ingen man lita,
eller tro på gift kvinnas tal;
ty på rullande hjul
deras hjärta är skapat,
föränderlighet i bröstet inlagd.
88.
Kärlek av kvinnor,
som känna falskhet,
är som med häst utan broddar
på hal is åka
med en yster tvååring
och illa tämd,
eller i stickande storm
med ett styreslöst skepp
eller som halt man på töfjäll
skulle taga en ren.

83.
The speech of a maiden should no man trust
nor the words which a woman says;
for their hearts were shaped on a whirling wheel
and falsehood fixed in their breasts.
88.
Like the love of women whose thoughts are lies
is the driving un-roughshod o'er slippery ice
of a two year old, ill-tamed and gay;
or in a wild wind steering a helmless ship,
or the lame catching reindeer in the rime-thawed fell.

I wouldnt need to drink alcohol and overeat if only I could manage my anxiety and depression.

When I try to post a thread, on any board, I get "Posting from your IP range has been blocked due to abuse", HOWEVER, I can still reply, as you can see. Can I do something to fix this OR can a cocksucking jannie ban me from replying too? Either one will do. Thanks.

>pic unrelated

Asked her out. She said no.

>>21268607
>rei
no.

>>21268617
atleast you know.

>>21268590
Im not doing anything and enjoy it so much. No friends no job, waking up whenever. Reading something, shitposting on 4chan all day, eat chips, drink soda, watch documentaries, watch my favorite streamer, watch few episode of anime... I never want to have a job or go to college. This life is so comfy. Imagine having mental capacity for education, friendship or relationship.
Pic related

>>21268617
You did good. Better than to orbit and never make a move. Every well-rounded man has been through rejection. You'll be fine.

>>21268617
Forget about her

>>21268617
So? That ho smelled the bitch on you from the start.

>>21268618

An answer?

>>21268625
Stop watching streamers and anime and eating goyslop and start lifting weights

>>21268683
>ask ai for an irl rei
>it gives you a souless slav junkie with a blue wig
lmao

Absolutely cannot figure out the normie practice of drinking alcohol, like what's the point

>>21268711

Answer??

>>21268646
Not that anon but I personally had this kind of love with a girl who lurked here. It's real and it's out there. I can confirm its existence.

>>21268732
>hungarian speg gives you a corpse for rei
All thats missing is an AI generated 10 minute minimum reddit long take.

>>21268754

A N S W E R Q U E S T I O N

>>21268590

things are going well

>>21268764

Today please?!?

>>21268590
OCD has made me wary of satisfaction, in particular a certain kind of satisfaction that can become addictive. It’s perhaps the most benign trait of OCD, much better than the moral agony or the constant disgust. But it’s still maddening. It feels like a dog clicker or the feeling of tapping a button. Accomplishment, efficiency. Click. It makes you want to do it again and again. You fold the laundry and you have to pace back and forth for a minute because it feels so good to see it done. You did the dishes already. You finished your work for the day. What are you going to feel accomplished about now? Pace again, you didn’t get the click feeling that time. There, you got it, good. Go start a project. You did a thing. You did a thing. Click click click. You’re running your hands along the desk and feeling the click at each corner. You can’t get it right. You’re trying to find the words or the images and before you know it it’s past midnight and you can’t go to sleep, you want the click again. You want the click. Your brain feels raw or bruised like a knuckle that has tapped too many times. You don’t even want the stupid fucking click anymore. But yes you do. You want it, satisfaction. You can’t survive without it. Your body is just to the left of itself, you are very slightly out of your skin and can’t shift back. It’s 2 AM and you’re still googling the same image and can’t pick one. Hit yourself, then you’ll be satisfied. Hit yourself harder. Come on, just jump back into your body. Just click back in.

I wonder how you overcome the feeling like your biography is too shameful and embarrassing to ever actually achieve anything with your life.

i wish i hated smoking cigs. many addicts i know hate it, but i genuinly like everything about it, so it obviously makes my addiction worse.

smoking is literally the most retarded addiction, and so fucking expansive, too

>>21268590
I only feel motivated to write when I feel shit and am not motivated to do anything else. However when I feel good and force mysefl to write something it is usually way better.

Also because we are on 4chan and everyone reading this will be a mssive coomer: I've had a threesome the other day, it was awesome and I wanna write about it. What's a good site to publish sex stories?

>>21268984
Tell people what you’ve been through. You will find people who have gone through a similarly messed up life and have improved things so much that you’d never expect it. Whether you’ve done terrible things or had terrible things done to you or just went through a lot of stuckness and stagnation, you will find people who have made it out of that place and who respect you for going through it now.

>>21268896

Anyone?

>>21269057
damn she ugly as fuck

I hate AIfags so much it's unreal

>>21268607
>all these worthless replies and no suggestions
>might as well be bots

The sad part is they aren't. Morons.

>treat those who don't lift as vastly inferior beings
and what good is that going to serve you? i lift because it allows me to help and offer better assistance to people. there's a certain trust that is acquired. no idea why they tell these kids to be assholes all the time.

>>21269043
I think you confuse sympathy for respect.

>>21268989
I know the feel bro, I haven't been smoking for a few weeks now and got the urge after my coworker lit one up.

I geniunely belive I will never be able to quite for good, but I'm happy that I keept my consumption to an occasional cig with friends

It feels like the universe itself is holding me back from succeeding. I can keep myself well-disciplined and in control, but the moment I need to do something that requires the part of another human being, fate twists and I am put back to where I started.
For example, I try to schedule a doctor's appointment. I do everything properly on my part. But then the secretary or the nurse or my insurance companies messes something up and I can't get the appointment. Such chain of events has happened five times. I similarly get screwed over by technical issues, people I know getting in car accidents and the like, and my innate social inability that seems to never go away. I'm destined to be stuck as a below-mediocre man no matter how much I try. Shit always goes wrong and I have to put in more effort than everyone else to do basic tasks. I wouldn't be surprised if my family, or me in particular, was cursed some time back, or if the world just decided that I need to be the one to lose the zero-sum game of life.
It's just so frustrating. I try and I try and I try. Other people just seem to breeze through. Not me. I'm jinxed. I'm fated for failure. Obviously I'm not perfect, I fucked up plenty of times and I know what was my own fault. I know I have some morally repugnant beliefs, ideas, and fantasies, even if I never act on them. Yet there are people who do much worse things than I would ever dream of doing and they still seem to get everything handed to them on a silver platter. Maybe my issue is that I don't act on those beliefs. Maybe not, maybe life just wants to fuck me over.

>>21269183
Not true. Anybody who has dealt with things like chronic illness, growing up in poverty, dealing with abuse…anything truly difficult really - that person is going to understand that it shows a lot of persistence to try to be great in spite of all that. Heck, I have a friend who just got attacked by his own mother last week and had to have her arrested. Crazy situation and he is now homeless because of it. Now, is it impressive that he made it through college and is getting back on his feet despite growing up in a family like that? Absolutely. It was the same for me. My mother and I had to go into a battered women’s shelter when I was like 8, and then ended up straight back in an abusive home afterwards. But I made it out and cut those people off. I grew up in trailer parks, eating cans of peas and corn bought with coupons and now I make $90k. I’m not ashamed of where I came from or the hard and potentially hurtful things I had to do, like cutting off family. I’m not even ashamed of the bad things I did before I knew how to be a better person, because at least I learned my lesson. It’s respectable to work from the ground up.

>>21269254
Its just like there's part which you dont control yet decides everything. Whenever it's destiny, luck, being at right place at the right time and etc.

>>21269254
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-SZraSMiEc

/lit/ has gone completely shit with the lack of moderation.

Love is dead, Long live love.

Im a wizard. I've missed the love in my life.

Why do people get anxious when you suggest that personality is genetic? Obviously patterns of behavior can be understood as functions of your body. People seem to believe that the personality is the same thing as the soul (perhaps they are better differentiated for religious people and not secular people), and they hold it as sacred. I think it's necessary in some sense to believe your personality is some infinitely malleable spirit -- so that it gives us hope that we can become great people. I also think it's just naivete that causes young people in particular to have fantasies that "motivation" can actually change them into a different person. It's likely that when people mature, say around age forty, that they come to accept that they have the same basic motivations, patterns, and quirks as their parents, despite in some cases having totally different external lives. I mean just look at how sons look just like their fathers and tell me they're really different people. I don't think so.

BLACK HOLES
SOLID GROUND
BLACK HOLES
SOLID GROUND

>>21268625
I used to feel that way but after 10 years its become a guided cage that I cant escape full of pain and fear and suffering,

also extreme stress because one day, possibly soon, the door is going to open and im going to be forced out and I will either magically rise to the occasion, or collapse under the weight of my physical and mental degradation and die alone in the streets as a mentally ill homeless person

god my hairdresser asked me if i wanted an espresso and after i finished it he asked me if i wanted another and because im socially awkward i kept saying yes to another and finishing them because i didnt want to be rude. i must have had like 4 or 5 espressos in 20mins. my head hurts so much why did he keep offering them to me, i think he was making them doubles too. this is so awful im so tired and my stomach hurts

>>21269509
just say no nigga

>dragging other people in my personal hell is bad
>holding it all up is bad
what am I supposed to do?

>>21269509
Holy fuck this post had me dying of laughter. Thanks anon.
PS, your hairdresser 100% knew what he was doing hahaha

>>21269509
one time i was at a coffee shop and all i ordered was a coffee and I sat there for two hours reading. then he calls out to me and says hes practicing making avocado toast, and if i wanted one. i thought he meant it was free (im srsrly guessing thats what he was suggesting), but then gave me a bill for $9 afterward.

i never liked that guy because he was clearly the stoner friend of the day manager and he was bad with customers.

>>21269437
Ive had experiences in life which have radically altered my personality so my first hand experiences tell me that the idea that it is purely genetic is just idiotic

>>21268625
You're still in the honeymoon phase. Dawn will come and time will make a fool of you, little prince.

>>21269549
I didn't say purely genetic. This response is exactly what I'm talking about. It's this kneejerk "well there's NURTURE as well as nature." No one would say it's purely one or the other. That typical response, because it's so reliable when I mention genetics, indicates some sort of denial. I have to assume it's because people are not well versed in personality theory -- obviously because who cares except nerds -- but people are of course familiar with their own experiences of transformation, which are very important to them.

It's the same thing when you suggest the personality differences of men and women. The automatic response is not one of appreciation, but rather a kneejerk "well there are feminine men, too!" The exception that proves the rule is lost on these people, in favor of some precious naive ideal of "all people being equal", or in the case of genetics "life is full of opportunity to change". The other side is always ignored. It goes against the grain of modern values like individualism and self-determination. It's probably for the best, if I had to pick one or the other, that people favor "nurture" over "nature". There's a reason people associate any conversation of genetics with eugenics and IQ bell curve hysteria. So I grant them that. Most psychologists are vastly undereducated in genetics.

> who you want to be
> who you are

>>21269286
What you've just described is sympathy.

>>21269614
I dont know either of these.

>>21269576
The reason I'm enjoying this rn is because I used to do some jobs that I hated. I will have to return being a wagie in the near future so I'm enjoying this time to the fullest. Being a neet was always a dream of mine, ever since I was 14. I really appreciate not having to do anything productive. Kinda short with neet buck, but recently got a little money for being unemployed kek.

>>21268741
considering that she had the wrong dude, i feel like youre bullshitting too. share details if this is true

>her favorite director is bergman
>she listens exclusively to decidedly obscure music
>shes has pets but theyre "weird" pets like turtles and ferrets
>her apt is "quirky"
>she wears sundresses with military boots
>she works with disabled children and idealizes them
>exclusively wears red lipstick
why do i feel like these are all red flags

>>21269420
Sad

>>21269709
>she works with disabled children and idealizes them
If manchildren count as children then this might be my chance, bros.
Where do I find such girl?

Do you guys have that friend that is patently retarded but places a lot of value in their intelligence and gets upset or hurt if you call out their blatant retardation? I just let him say his retarded shit because it's not worth the drama of even lightly pushing back on it but it's hard sometimes.

Why do people genuinely believe that there is a rise of racialism in the West? Even the online alt-right, edgy, esoteric, trad, valuing ‘intuition’, crowd has non-white friends. Internet racist friend groups are filled with brown people and muslims. In person and online.

>>21268590
How do you know if you're in an abusive relationship? Im noticing and am self aware about some "things" she does but at the same time it kind of turns me on, yet feels a bit messed up at the same time

>>21270142
Could you stop those things if you really needed to? Like, if you set down a limit around a certain behavior, would she respect it or no?

I cannot say that i have loved.

>>21270170
She is into MMA and kind of physically threatens me if she's not happy. I've "play fought" her and I feel she can honestly fuck me up if I tried for real, despite being bigger than her. She can get me in holds and shit that I can't get out of and I don't want to try for real incase I expose myself. She always "playfully" does it when she wants something, whether it's just a cuddle or wanting me to say I love her, or if she is upset at something I did.
I'm honestly scared of her sometimes when shes not in a good mood and she has punched me before in anger when I left a drink outside of the fridge. I can deal with the grapples but its the punch that's upsetting me most

I find her intimidating and hot at the same time though lol.

>>21270219
Dude that’s textbook. She punched you. Physically threatens you to get what she wants. If it’s hot, leave her and get a girl who’s into BDSM so you at least have a safe word.

I lost my appetite and I want to sleep all day.

>>21270258
One could argue that it loses its charm if it is artificial.

>>21270258
Thing is I'm not even into BDSM at all. I just....I don't know how to explain it. I like getting her to submit to me through cuddles and affection and stuff when she's upset.

Why do I still love her like a dumbass? I broke down every logical reason as to why it was a good idea to split, why we weren't so great to each other, yet I woke up to thoughts of her and went to sleep with them for every single day of the past year.
>It's because you want to
But why? At this point I feel almost certain that I will never love anybody that much ever again, and by proxy never find some who loves me that much either. Maybe my priorities are too skewed.

>>21270367
If you still love her, why not ask her to take you back? Seems obvious.

>>21270388
Because she holds a grudge against me and I could legitimately get killed in one of her fits of rage

if we're not heroes then what are we...

>>21268590
The mind is actually centered on the little ganglia cluster near the heart

>>21270388
>>21270403
If I could add some more to this, I just can't bring myself to face her and honestly explain why I chose to leave. To be sincere is to say "I ended it because you were too unstable and I couldn't reign that in", which I know would hurt her a lot. To see her again after so long just to break her heart is borderline criminal. I would hope that she's much calmer and found peace in her life, now, instead of basing her entire self worth on how people seem to treat her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7GSygUXlUI

Why is Bill Bruford, of all musicians, so popular on 4channel? I've seen him mentioned on so many boards. He's fantastic, but it's just a strange choice. Could have went with Boz.

You shouldn't read an author's early work. It's like eating raw meat.

Twitter dying would be extremely funny to me because it would mean 4chan has yet again outlasted a website that was supposed to put us out of business.

|'m going to eat some apples with peanut butter.

>>21270670
>|'m going to eat some apples
nice
>with peanut butter.
gay

My older sister is such a failure and I don't know how to help her. I guess she would like me to be around more but at this point I don't really enjoy being around her, she just never grew up.
God she took so many terrible decisions.

>>21270669
There is something immortal about the anonymous messageboard format. It will only die if the internet becomes something completely unrecognisable like the Chinese internet.

I ran into this thing called "Over-tuning in Human Evolution."
It's like holy fuck, it makes so much sense.
Human evolution was intimately guided by God.
First off, we have a super intelligent animal with a apropos body for technology and communication. (No super intelligence in a cow or fox).
Then we have human aesthetic, they are more soulful than other animals (faces are more beautiful and expressive(25 more facial muscles in human in contrast to apes delegated to solely expression), body more elegant.)
The morphological differences between a human and its ancestor removed by 10 million years and a frog and its ancestor are starkly contrasted.
Lastly, we are wildly more distinct than other animals within our species. Most animal faces look the same, and there is not such a wide range of body shapes.

The natural biologists explanation for human evolution via selection is laughable. They try to explain why human faces are cuter(more noetic) and they came up with hypothesis that our ancestors only selected more noetic faces to mate with. Well, then you look at the picture and its like a subtle difference at best, why would our ancestors be so incredibly fickle when their potential mates were so similar looking? It's like all a fucking joke.

>>21269549
Imagine the nature of your personality as the set of behaviors that you can commit and the requirements for you to commit those behaviors.
An individual may be born such that their personality makes them melancholic, but through reading a book they might become changed. Another individual could be born melancholic, but the same book may do nothing for them.
The genetic personality is an under-layer beneath how the personality is expressed- thus, if you were melancholic and some event changed you to be manic, then those are just the ways your inner personality is expressed. Your inner, genetic personality blueprint did not change; Only the way you expressed that personality.

I often go a couple of days without shitting and then release it all in one big go. Apparently this is normal. I don't feel constipated or anything, just don't feel the need to go.

I crashed my academic career with no survivors, my work won't even be published under my name. I have to start again from nothing in my mid 20s with an essentially empty bachelor degree. My only connections are unskilled. Has anyone here been in my situation and succeeded in building a new and profitable skillset?

A harsh lesson I learned over the last couple years is that even if you're passionate about something and try your best to reach it, you might just plain not be a good fit for it, or even actively harmful to your peers who wanted the same thing.
I got into a position that wasn't quite my dream job but that was something I'd fantasized a lot about as a kid, beating out several others who were competing for the same spot, and then in time found out that I only ever got there due to dumb luck and mismanagement. The people I worked with shared my passion for what we were doing, but hated working with me because I was just plain too dumb and lacking in social skills to really succeed in my position. I ended up causing some problems and getting a bottom-tier evaluation after my first year there, which didn't end my career but made it exceedingly difficult to continue, and to go with that my self-esteem pretty much disappeared over the course of that year after several decisions I made turned out to be totally retarded in hindsight.
I don't really know what I'm going to do know. I want to quit my job and become a NEET. I want to find a position in a dark basement somewhere doing mind-numbing work for little pay with no human contact.

>>21270825
Unironically look into commissioning as an officer in the military if you're American. Guaranteed pay and skills you can use to get a decent to good job post-service depending on your branch of service and job, and unless you go for a small set of specific jobs they won't care what your degree is in as long as you have it.

>>21268590
My latest chapter is about to hit 15k words. The last two books were both right at 180,000 words.

I feel as if I should be giving a person their money's worth if they choose to buy my book. And by they I mean my mom and dad and a couple of my friends that bought my book. I don't think any of them will ever read it.

>>21270825
Public service maybe. You can spruik your research and writing skills and once you're in you can move around. That's what I did with my BA.

>>21270828
I'm curious what the job was anon

>>21270837
Strongly considering it, though I'm not American
>>21270861
How did you manage to break in? I am mainly lacking in demonstratable experience and professional references

I feel a lot of pressure to earn a lot for my family, but I just personally have no interest at all in business.

I hate cold weather.

how do you overcome fears of intimacy?

>>21270906
You need to elucidate. But ill go out on a limb and remind you to never show a hoe love. Ignore my advice to your ultimate dissatisfaction.

>>21270911
i can’t show anyone love. that’s the problem. anyone else know this feel?

>>21270943
Youre on the right track. What makes you feel as though you have a disfunction. Thats your issue.

>>21270903
I love cold weather. :)

>>21270982
ugh, why?

>>21270814
enjoyed this one

>>21270869
A specialized (but non-special operations) military billet with a somewhat technical skillset. There's only a thousand or so in my country's army.

How do I keep going with the job search? It fucking sucks! It's just rejection after rejection after rejection! I've interviewed for like 10 different companies in the last year and they all passed on me! This one that I just got rejected from was the perfect job or me - an interesting and under looked part of an interesting field and at a big company that would let me grow and get experience through it all! I had an internship in the field and I thought that the interview went well, but I still got rejected. I feel like I'm trapped in this terrible sand pit and I just can't get out. The longer I take to get a job, the worse I look on paper, and that just makes it even harder to get a job. I fucking hate myself and I fucking hate the job market for making me feel this way. Fuck all of this.

>>21270993
mainly because retards are not out and about constantly like in the summers
the snow, fire and thick clothes are comfy

>>21270879
>How did you manage to break in?

Getting an interview was partially luck I suppose. But the good thing about public service in my country is that they actually read the resumes that get sent to them unlike private which will just ignore you.

I had good marks and good references so I can't really help you there, but a lot of my co-workers don't seem to have much going for them so I'm sure it's worth applying still.

>>21271070
yeah i gave up years ago

>>21270950
i wanna be with her but i cant, i have to stay away…

>>21269362
more like because of moderation

>>21269420
i love knowledge and knowledge loves me back

>>21270219
that’s kind of hot

also, my ex used to punch me and then when we broke up put up on social media for everybody in our hometown see that I apparently abused her (false)

I struggle to form relationships with others to the point that I sometimes think of myself as subhuman or as some kind of sea creature wearing a human-shaped costume. Far more autistic people than me have friends and active social lives, but I have neither. Far uglier guys than me have girlfriends and wives. Even serial killers and terrorists get fangirls. I just seem to blend in with the wallpaper and the furniture when it comes to others.

>>21271082
I really wanted this last job and I was practicing for like a week for the interview. I had a word document with the job description and demonstrable experience for each of the key points that they had listed under the job responsibilities so I could practice my answers and include them. I did research on each member of the panel that was going to interview me and I made small talk based around that. I individually emailed each of them a thank you note and included one highlight of the interview in each of them. I asked them straight up if they had any questions for me regarding my experience or if they had any trepidations about hiring me and they said no. I feel like I did everything I could to stand out and thrive in this interview but it still wasn't enough! Two an a half weeks later I don't even get a response form the hiring manager, I just get an automated email letting me know that the role I applied for is moving on without me. Did fucking Dr. Perfect just come along and swoop in? I fucking doubt it. I probably never had a chance in the first place because some fucking law student had a higher degree than me. Or some kid with a reference in the company fucked me over. It doesn't even matter because even though I fulfilled their preferred requirements for this stupid fucking entry level job that anyone could do, they went with someone else and I don't even know what I can do to make it better. Sometimes you come across a job that is just so perfect and interesting and you can try all you want to be a good little puppy for the interview and show off all your little tricks just for them to decide that they actually want a cat. It fucking sucks. The application process is dehumanizing and then they won't even sit down with you in person. It's all over zoom or microsoft teams. Fuck, they even said they were impressed with me! What more could I have done? Where did I go wrong? Did the questions that I asked not convey enough interest? Could they not tell that I wanted the job based on how often I mentioned that the field was super interesting to me? Maybe I didn't talk enough about the changes that the industry is going through and the company's place in it?

Sorry, I don't mean all of this in reply to you. I just needed to vent. But yeah, fuck the job search.

>>21271108
You probably are hanging out with the wrong people. I felt that way too recently but I realized I had a much more fulfilling and active social life when I hung out with like-minded people rather than people that I was actually expected to be around. Figure out what you like, what you want to be in the long and short term and who you will hang out around should reflect that

>>21271125
Consider the possibility of nepotism. It's a real factor. Sorry about your tough fortune, anon. Why not quit the field entirely for a little while, see what it's like on the other side of river? You're disillusioned already, so it's not like you would have much to lose at this point. Wishing you the best.

>>21271140
I think I have to. I have no idea where to go from here. I'm considering a move to a different city even, but I don't want to go. My town is so comfy in the cold. Whatever. Life goes on. In 5 years I'm sure that I won't even remember that I was disappointed by this job. I've learned a lot about how I work in interviews through this and I can use the skills I've developed through all of this in the future. Life goes on. Life goes on.

>>21268590
I believed the scaremongering about recession so much that I sent out 200 applications when I decided to come back from well over a year of NEETing. Instead of the 1-3 interview requests I was expecting I got so many that I panicked and ghosted a bunch of them.

>>21270219
You're the fwb larper. Go away.

>>21270715
I can save her

I feel like God is putting me through some shit so that I may understand Him better. Pray for me

How do you cope with having behaved in a deeply humiliating way and having destroyed someone else’s perception of you as a result of being mistaken? Asking for a friend.

How 2 be masculine in the internet age? Is it even worth it or should we just adapt to something new

>>21271070
>I had an internship in the field and I thought that the interview went well, but I still got rejected.

You were possibly beaten by somebody already in the company. It fucking sucks that they have externally advertise when they already have an internal candidate but it's the way it goes. There's the rub right, once you're in your pretty much in forever but getting that first fucking job is almost impossible.

Job hunting is fucking soul crushing man I feel for you. Since it sounds like you have experience in the form of an internship I would probably start sending out cold emails. Find people through LinkedIn and ask their advice. Don't ask them for a job obviously, but just succinctly sum up your deal and politely ask if they had any tips. They might be able to put you in touch with someone who needs somebody. It's not guaranteed to work of course but it's worth a shot. Better than sending applications into the void.

>>21271275
what did you do?

>>21271275
You told her you have a crush on her and she said no?

>>21271275
Did you really do this or is it in your head? If you're unsure, first thing is to find out for sure. Second thing to do is to grieve the lost or damaged friendship / relationship and in time move on. Third thing is to forgive yourself and work on improving for the future.

Life is long. Mistakes hurt but are a part of being human. There is time and space to grow.

>>21271319
Lol that image is literally me except Im actually sitting alone, so deep into a daydream that I actually speak out loud. Today me and my daydream gf sang our favorite songs together as we were driving.

>>21271288
It is worth it for sure, but focus on yourself and not what the internet or others tell you what is masculine. Focus on living up to model set by the men you know and admire in real life. That is all that matters.

>>21271324
You need to log into the SwipeApp, even that is better.

https://youtu.be/Iu0Pu1iiJrk?t=2040

>>21271330
It's too late for me

>>21269534
> practicing
> spreading avocado on toast
Is he retarded?

>>21268590
Should I get a job if im getting by fine on NEETbux?

I will pretty much have to work 30 hours to earn what I get on NEETbux in a fortnight for doing nothing. So say if I work full time it's like im basically working for half the wage. And that's without getting taxed yet btw so it will be even less. Plus with inflation and everything costing more, that money is worth even less.

I was fired from my old job I loved for refusing to get vaxxed so I kind of don't care for work anymore. I've used this time to purge myself or most desires and Ive been at my most content in my life over ever been. It's quite strange really.

On one hand I wouldn't mind a job but the whole idea of working 30 hours for nothing is bothering me lol

One time I told an obviously fake story on /wwoym/ and anon believed me

>>21270715
>she just never grew up.
In what way?

I'm tired of being so ashamed of myself. It's been this way for years, yet I continue to make zero attempt at improving my sorry state, which amplifies the shame ten-fold. I need to get my shit together

>>21271453
are you me?

There's this sticker on my fridge of what appears to be froken Snork from a popular Swedish book series "Moomin Trolls". And It's definitely her and not another character, she has the bangs and the flower and the golden bracelet. And I looked it and thought "hold on just a minute, why is she WHITE? I thought only Moonmins were white. She's not a moonmin"
and then I looked up on google images and ALL of her depictions are white. Not a single other color
Now, it's been a while since I've read the books, and correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a big deal and explicit plot point that Snorks are light green by default and change color depending on mood? like purple when they're angry, and blue when afraid? I'm pretty sure they are never white

>>21271534
mandela bro

>>21268590
FBI agents visited yesterday due to an anonymous tip of antisemitism. However, they were friendly and left after I explained I'm not interested in doing any attack.

>>21268590
What am I gonna talk to myself here?

>>21271604
Who else would you talk to?

i just impulsively did a weird stretch totally randomly in an attempt to stretch my back and something popped in my neck/upper back and suddenly i feel like i can breath easier, my mind feels more "clear" and my chest feels a lot better than is has in a while

i really dont want to get my hopes up, but fucking lmao if just every problem ive had in my life was all being caused by fucked up posture. imagine losing your entire 20s and your social life, everything, because of something so small and silly

then again at this point i literally do not know what is or isnt just in my head and i could be just fooling myself somehow. it would be pretty nice though

I read The Way of Perfection a month or so ago and it's still hitting me all these weeks later. The mystical spirituality Tersa of Avila describes is something I think I understand much better having read her book.

Years ago I read The Interior Castle as an undergrad and I think it may be time for me to return to it.

I have felt drawn to the path of the mystics for years and maybe I'm finally on my way. By the grace of God.

>>21268590
I think my cousin is a femcel. She isn't even ugly or anything. She is 35 now and the only girl in the family not married. And only had 2 bfs I knew of, last one being back around from 2014.

But yeah it's surprising, but it just didn't happen. I think she just isn't one of those dating types or the types that puts out which I think is why her first bf didn't work out, and the 2nd one was Muslim who probably was cool with it but obviously too much or a cultural difference. Im pretty certain she is a virgin too but she moved out for the first time last year so who knows if she started tinder and hoeing out now hoping it will get her a bf/husband.

We just came from one of those cultures/households where the parents acted like having a social life or dating was "bad" back in highschool. Then suddenly once you hit adulthood they are surprised why you don't have a bf/gf yet or wonder why you are maladjusted lol.

Even checking her social media, her friend/follower counts are usually pretty small. She is just one of those introverted types. I feel kind of bad because I'm sure she would have liked to have been married now. And like I said, I always thought she was pretty but obviously as she is getting older she is putting on weight now. Just kind of sad how the past 5 or so years she has started getting into hair dying, makeup etc even though she looked fine without it or with just light makeup. I guess as you get older that dying your hair and spending a lot on that sort of stuff is the cope to justify why you are working and earning a lot of money.

>>21271354
Fuck the man over and get yourself a job thay pays cash.

Self-destruction.

>>21271756
If this is how you talk/think about your family I’d hate to see how you talk about your enemies.

>>21271805
Why?

>>21271819
I do not deserve good things.

>>21271827
Why not? What’ve you done that’s so terrible?

>>21271828
I've done nothing but bad. Every good deed is outweighted by three bad ones. I cannot stop involving other people into my personal hell. I wish I wouldnt exist or be completely other person and not a nuisance to others like I am to you now

The only capacity for emotion I seem to have is for negativity: I can experience profound, passionate, rising hatreds, creeping, crippling, frigid anxieties, catastrophic sorrows; but of joy, love, warmth, I know nothing. Indeed I can barely think of these words. I know I wasn't always like this, and my intuition leads me to blame these poisonous psychiatric medications. As a youth I had a full spectrum of emotionality and it wasn't until I was cornered by those closest to me into taking mood stabilizers that I began to see a narrowing of my mental life.

I am no ignoramus. My knowledge of brain chemistry and psychiatry is well above average. I know how crude psychopharmacology is , how absurd in principle the idea is that you can alter the human personality by introducing via pills certain chemical precursors or reagents into the synaptic clefts. The hubris, the sheer gall of the field of psychiatry in general to think that there are standardized solutions to the troubles of the human soul that can be summed up in a simple pressed solid is frankly outrageous. The actual basic science to understand how the brain functions is still far from complete, and yet this field feigns to know the cure. What costly, lucrative, lies.

>>21271860
Did the loss happen overnight?

>>21271756
A whole lot of assumptions and little conversation with her.

>>21270906
Figure out the root cause. Fears of intimacy are usually rooted in a fear of abandonment/rejection or a result of some kind of physical/emotional abuse or both. What happened to you to make you terrified of being seen by another person?

>write something for a few weeks
>get bored of the topic and want to write about something new
How would I fix this? Just write faster before the magic is gone?

>>21271876
Of course not. It takes a long time for your neural circuitry to alter majorly in response to repeated exposure to psychotropic substances.

For context, I've been on my current meds for roughly 5 years. Only within the last year or so have I become conscious that my emotional blunting might be attributable to the medications. Although I suspect it has been having such an effect for at least half that time.

I could provide you with more detail out of altruism, though I feel no urgent need to divulge the specifics of my case in an open sewer such as this.

The more I reflect on it, the more I realize that the source of my psychological disturbance was the oppressiveness of socioeconomic and cultural circumstances that were ill-suited to my natural, healthy disposition. In many ways psychiatry is a reactionary instrument of capital, meant to suppress natural instincts to terrible and oppressive circumstances, especially as it pertains to the issue of depression, anxiety, and to some extent bipolar disorder.

I'm not saying these medications have no use. I am just saying that the people prescribing them have a sham understanding of the brain and have absolutely no credible epistemic authority to claim medical certainty as to how these substances will play out with any given subject.

>>21271890
Not that anon but with the same problem. My first thought is the fear of being exposed like hearing the other person saying that the you is not you and the second one is being rejected.

>>21271897
>hat the source of my psychological disturbance was the oppressiveness of socioeconomic and cultural circumstances that were ill-suited to my natural, healthy disposition
could you elaborate on this?

we are not real friends, are we? That's a hard realization.

>>21271736
>something so small and silly
Posture is big and important.

>>21271125
>Sorry, I don't mean all of this in reply to you. I just needed to vent
don't worry i didn't read

>>21271354
i say get by by stealing
stealing some wealthy person's 3rd or 4th car is barely going to affect him but could provide you with years of sustenance

It's been insanely cringe watching Silicon Valley entrepreneurs and investors, who seemingly do not realize that they made most of their fortune by ingratiating themselves to banks, politicians, and government officials, suddenly think they not only can but should be statesmen, particularly after seeing the unmitigated disaster that is California's Bay Area, which they watched fall apart from Ivory Towers for decades.

>>21272201
Yeah, they couldn't even govern themselves locally out of hobo shit yet someone like Zuck or the SFB Gigakike have the ear of Obama, Clintons etc. and can sway national policies

really is a clown world, HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS must die realistically to rescue something truly useful out of it.

>>21272057
What is a real friend? Someone that would come looking after you if you pulled off the disappearance act?

South Korea is more corporation than country. The Samsung entity has total control.

>>21272270
It's a corporation or a cartel of corporations that has control in every democracy. Some just maintain fewer pretenses than others.

>>21271354
>I was fired from my old job I loved for refusing to get vaxxed so I kind of don't care for work anymore
based

>>21272219
I wasn't even referring to them because the likes of those are so obviously frauds. I was referring to the likes of Chamath Palihapitiya, Blake Masters, and Peter Thiel. These people have actually shown intent to involve themselves in politics rather than just donate to politicians. This is the video that was the impetus for writing it down.
https://youtu.be/hjpXULtX27o

>>21271354
Should you? Yeah, you should. Would it be understandable if you didn't? Absolutely. Whatever you do, just don't make the mistake of sliding into 10 years of nothing but video games and pornography. NEETs hate their slide into vice and doing nothing more than they hate being NEETs. If you're going to leisure, use it for something. Write a book, poetry, whatever.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME I WANTED TO ARGUE WITH PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET TODAY
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN ME IN GENERAL
something feels so fucking wrong
i need a baseline of a social circle i need some friends than can catch my hurt ego when it falls down
i hate it in the first place how did i come to have one at all i wish i never felt the need to have one
there was bliss in my fucking emotional numbness before that
there is a need to put myself out there
after doing it i feel even more hurt than before
i see the mistakes right after
i overthink my every action and word that i form in my head
i question my habits and build up faith which i then question again
i have no idea what is right anymore
i write this and it feels wrong like the air is telling me its a bad idea
there just isnt a stability except for my own abilitties of getting my shit together after falling once again
i listen to music and fucking think it has spiritual meaning when a song comes up that might tell me what to do
why have i become so normal ?? it feels like that ??
my old friends hurt me
i find people that i respect but i cannot act impatient and make mistakes again
i see two doors and want to take both
i need a fucking cope that calms me down
back then i would never write something like this
back then it felt like the nothingness had meaning
my ego wasnt that present
i didnt care and things worked out
they still do but i still feel the things that are missing
a test i hope so so i dont feel unimportant
people knew me different until i fell down
i hurt everyone back then atleast a little bit by not caring about me or others
maybe its punishment mmaybe it doesnt matter
WHAT THE FUCK am i doing wrong
all i ask is someone i can trust for fucks sake
ever since i fell i realized my social nature
AND HELL i would die a martyr for people if necessary
i have to lay low and build up strength but then i get all stirred up again
its like im still a fucking deep pond that has been disturbed and i cannot catch my balance
i am strong i will fight well
but something doesnt work out
well it does sometimes but when i witness it something changes
i knew once how to not witness but i changed
maybe its the stoic and cynical armor im ripping off and all my skin beneath bleeds
fuck
things are happening i feel it but how can i trust myself if i cannot trust anyone
IT FEELS WRONG TO WRITE THIS WHY DOES IT FEEL WRONG
I AM COPING FUCK FUCK ALL BECAUSE OF THESE BULLSHIT EMOTIONS AND MY INSTABILITY I CANNOT FIX MYSELF APPARENTLY I NEED TO RELY ON FAITH AND OTHERS BUT I HATE IT
i fear that i fuck up i fear the rejection again
the path i want is clear but something makes me question my every action
maybe if i scream it out this time nothing bad will happen
please
it feels like i left and my place has been taken
maybe i will try it this time
atleast i wrote it down right ? thats a thing that to do that might help and maybe i shouldnt care who reads it or if it matters

>>21272300
perhaps

>>21272300
south Korea is still a significant outlier.

>>21272371
South Korea probably is the most extreme case, but it's not fundamentally different from other countries in that regard.

>>21272389
Samsung is 1/5 of the countries gdp. no other country comes close to having one privately owned corporation dominating its GDP. They have no natural resources. 50 years ago they were a country of dirt farming peasants. South Korea is very different from other counties in that regard.

>>21272316
>Should you? Yeah, you should. Would it be understandable if you didn't? Absolutely.

That's my whole conflict. I know I probably should, but considering how things were the past couple of years i think this all rigged and borderline not worth it. Especially since mentally I've been at my most peace and haven't fallen into depression or anything

I've been consistent with exercising and working out though, even if it is just home style workouts but people who hadn't seen me in a while make comments that I've buffed up or ask if I've been going to the gym so I guess it's working somewhat. But my scheduling and routine (time wise) isn't as tight as I know it should be.

But yeah scrolling and listening to music is probably my biggest vice right now. Even though I've been reading a lot this past year, something I hadn't done in a nearly a decade due to work and stuff , it's kind of been slipping and slowing down, especially for being a NEET. I've been just reading 1 chapter a day of whatever book I'm reading.

I've been kind of writing, (if you count journaling some of my issues or stuff happening to my loved ones in these types of threads, or my thoughts on certain topics) think I should do more of that but I seperate documents? I don't know how to write books or poetry or how to get the feelings out or what should even be the topic. I feel life and age has clogged it up for me

can you use a sex doll as a decorative statue

>>>/tv/176917347

HAPPENING

ME AND WHO

>>21272309
What's wrong with Blake? Get him tipsy and you'll get him to admit he is right of Adolf Hitler. You think people more kind than that will be able to clean up the trash? As I said, it will require hundreds of millions to die.

>>21268590
Are modern day doctors low key mad that everyone has access to info about diseases and conditions so easily?

I feel they get annoyed when people read up about a condition they were diagnosed with (I can somewhat understand being annoyed at self diagnose hychondriac types), as opposed to being told and having the condition explained by them and not being the "expert" to rely on solely.

>>21272571
No one who made their fortune investing in California tech companies on behalf of a gay libertarian is to the right of Hitler, but what little I know about him, I know from Wikipedia and his interview on Alex Kaschuta's podcast, where one of the first things he did was make disparaging remarks about Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, not because of any of her actual political work, but because she went to a lower ranked University than he did. It was a slip of the tongue, but a slip of the tongue that reveals he's really no different than the people he claims to oppose. But I'm expected to think he's based and red-pilled and competent enough to be a statesman because he name-drops Ted K. at the end of the interview? I don't.

>>21272408
Honestly, only you can say whether working is worth it or not. Personally, I think it's ignoble to live leisurely off welfare and not family or personal surplus, but what's more ignoble is to waste your leisure regardless of where it comes from on video games and porn. I think you just have to decide what you want to do and then do it. I know that's hard, but it's the only right choice. I do not think life or age has clogged up your ability to think artistically or poetically if that's what you want to do. I think it just takes work to make something nice, like gardening. It always takes time and effort to see fruits. That's just how it is.

>>21271897
i can attest to this from my experience, anon is spot on

>>21272668
Can you "learn" to write poetry or is it just something you do? How do you even think of what to start writing about?

Should I start reading poetry to "get it"

I wish i could recall my dreams in more detail. At the same time, I respect their secrets and don't want to dissect them too thoroughly. i think this elusiveness is important. an antidote to over-production and transparency. playfulness seems to reside here. but the sentiment towards peter-panism remains grotesque. it sides with ignorance rather than innocence. trying to capture something it shouldn't

I will marry into wealth. I'm too good to work.

>>21272691
how about you try it in a post on this thread

>>21272235
Well, yes. And if seeing that you are drowning won't go 'oh yeah that's just so him.'

>>21272350
wish we could play CS 1.6. and chat in irc (with mods)

>>21272864
I don't think a single person I "know" would come looking after me. Shallow "friendships". It is what it is.

Fellow PoliSci majors... what careers we finna get?

Are there any good books on public speaking, commanding a room, socializing, charisma, that sort of thing?

>>21272977
If it were me, I'd consider law school or civil service.

>>21273096
Run one cycle of testosterone or hop on TRT

>>21272691
You can learn how to write poetry by simply reading and writing a lot of poetry, but there are also a few books about writing poetry that I would say are decent. These are Mary Oliver's A Poetry Handbook, John Hollander's Rhyme's Reason, and a book that's called Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry but the author of which I can't recall. I would also say that reading great poets' writing about writing is worthwhile. A poetry anthology in your language could be a good introduction.

I saw the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even make eye contact and the best part was that she couldn't either. She was married and hurried away as soon as she could. We were magnetized to each other. I've never experienced something like that before. I want to find her and grab her and tell her that she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and never let go.

>>21273237
lmao what a faggot

>>21268590
https://voca.ro/1gw8RKAysTja

>>21268598
The pain is a dull throbbing

>"Actually, you liked George W. Bush."
how do you respond without sounding mad?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykWisTA9vVw

I find Schopenhauer's immense popularity to be baffling. How could anyone take his essay on noise seriously? Choosing to be that bitter is abhorrent.

> knowing exactly what you should've done, but didn't

>>21272661
a tech billionaire namedropping teddy k is a little too on the nose for me

>>21273363
this, never understood how people don't grow out of that after a certain age

>>21273589
You dont grow out of Schopp

tfw you don't even cross her mind on Friday night

Beyond over
It never even was

starting to think I might be the reincarnation of van gogh although ive specced more in the verbal/literaryfag direction on new game plus

>>21273619
I want to call you a schizo but I've had a similar train of thought, but rather than believing I was the reincarnation of a great artist I instead felt as if the spirit of some great artist was trying to possess me and use me as a vessel to make more of their art. I didn't let them do it because somehow I could tell that they were gay, or maybe bisexual or queer in some other way, and I didn't want some gay ghost taking over my body even if it meant sacrificing the creation of good artwork.
This feeling, whether it came from an actual attempt at possession, or simply a delusion, has passed.

My dream is to live on a boat because I fear women.

I took a job painting an office building. Holy shit it's so souless in there. Everyone is zombified, cornered off in little cubicles staring at computer screens. All the women are fat and greasy and all the men are beta as fuck. Worse yet, i doubt any of them are making more than some mid range salary, which isnt really much different from experienced day laborers. I was starting to regret not focussing on college and getting a comfy white collar job, but after working here I'm really appreciating the varied and novel experiences I've had day laboring.

>>21273636
y-y-y-you have s-surpassed a n-new level og c-comedic genius

>>21273695
>beta as fuck
yeah bro, just get that sexual harrasment point

perhaps there's still time for us to be heroes...

>>21273702
I'm not joking. At one point I actually believed that. I was not in a comfortable state of life at that time, sleep deprived, depressed, and NEETing, and I was suffering from chronic nightmares. It felt very real, even though I can look back on that time period now and see how bizarre it was.

>>21268617
You'll get million rejections at the start, keep going and you will master the game ! :^)

One of my old friends make $120k a year, and I find it fascinating, being that we grew up together and both did fuck all until we were about 25 years old, at which point we diverged. I finished college and went on to a mediocre career, very much "prioritizing my free time and private life", while he got a job in tech after getting a Bachelor's, and shot off into a full lifestyle of making himself, and his new peers, quite rich.

We went a few times because he was in my city one week. I honestly felt like I couldn't relate to him anymore. All he talked about was work and money. I think I had no reaction at all when he told me he bought a $7000 sofa "that he doesn't even use", because at that point I felt like he was pressing the "impress me" button one too many times. It was particularly odd thing for him to mention, because just a moment before I was expressing my annoyance at the fact the the arm on my desk chair is getting lose, to which of course he had to respond by asking me how much it was, to which I said $300.

It's hard to know how to react when I'm having a lunch with someone who's simply dropping facts one after the other about how his boss drives outrageously expensive car, or how they spend thousands on a company dinner. I'm sure he's very excited about all of it, so I give him that. He's probably thrilled, and I hope at another point we can actually relate to each other.

He drank an absurd amount of alcohol and then got very irritated when he couldn't score any cocaine. He left early because he said he had to get up at 5am for an important meeting, but then when I went to pick him up at his hotel, I found he had been sleeping until 2pm. The next day his mood was starting to shift. He seemed irritable and depressed, and even got upset at me one moment because I didn't seem to respond to a political argument he was trying to have with me. He said something like, "Well, I just wanted to have an intelligent conversation with you. You were always an intelligent person." Somewhere in there I said, "Yeah, you're smart, too". He replied, "Well, you never acted like that when we were young. You always acted like I wasn't as smart as you." I can tell he said that with serious resentment. Honestly, I don't recall any incidents from which he could make that conclusion. He was a drug addict when we were about 20.

I didn't mean to walk away from each other that week with me thinking something clichéd like, "Ah, so you see, the rich aren't so self-satisfied after all." I just don't understand him, which normally isn't a problem for me -- not understanding others -- but I guess the thing is that he was being so self-assertive and self-congratulatory that, in a way, he wanted me to understand him. Or, he wanted me to appreciate his life, which is not really what friends are like.

>>21273786
It does seems like he wanted to impress you but failed and the old wounds reopened.

>>21273363
>>21273589
it's appealing to incels

His cloak flowed majestically in the wind as he faced against his caped nemesis. Neither man remarked on the others cape, from their perspective wearing capes was completely normal.

>>21268590
I didn't catch myself thinking about her that much lately. I am reaching hightened levels of focus as if I was recovering brain computing power that was solely dedicated to thinking about her and women. The last time I had this exact mindset a woman fell into my lap a few weeks after, hypnotized me with her pussy and destroyed every inch of the willpower I had barely mustered back and was successfully using to outperform everyone in college. This time I will be doing it right. I won't waste my time in dead ended, mariageless romantic relationships anymore.

Maybe it's too soon to rejoice but I think I can pull my career forward. I'm going to do it right and then I'll think about marriage.

I got a request for pages!
A literary agent is actually going to read my shit!
Huzzah!

I've been on two dates with this nice girl after knowing her a little through a friend.
First date went well and made me think it might work out. After that, she texted me each day with very wholesome texts.
Second one, I was kinda tired and very boring.. when we parted, she didn't say anything bad, but I kinda knew I blew my chance. She hasn't wrote to me since.
I'm 27 and my longest "relationship" was 2 months long, I don't even know how normal people do it and it's getting embarrassing.

I wonder what it feels like to kill man. Scary to think that it might feel good.

>>21273786
A certain level of money will make someone happier. Typically enough that all bills can be paid, food and supplies can be purchased, and enough money for something interesting every week is enough to reach "baseline". After that, additional increases in income will cause happiness to increase temporarily and then fall back to baseline. Only these rich types have less time to spend on themselves and more vultures trying to take from them.
If you don't struggle to feed yourself it's very likely you're as happy or happier than he is- especially if he's taking drugs.

>>21273803
>>21273925
Yeah, my dad and I were talking about him, and we both had to admit that he doesn't seem happy. We didn't say this for any selfish reasons, but it's just there was a palpable dissonance as we both expressed our happiness for his success (again), but also feeling the temptation to notice how high-strung he seems.

Talking to him, it seems like he works so much and actually can not work any less because of the demands upon him. That seems way more striking than how much money he makes. Even if you just take out one factor -- the fact that we can probably never be friends again because he's so busy and so unlike me -- it just seems sad. I can't imagine what else he has lost in the past ten years and continues to lose. Not that we were destined to be best friends or anything.

There's a guy I know. He's a "high value male" as people would say. Very enviable kind of a guy. But he has an ugly ass girlfriend. Not just a matter of taste either, she's ugly it's a fact. She's not disabled ugly or anything, but she's ugly. He's not, obviously. Anyway he loves her and they seem incredibly happy. When I see them together I realise how disgustingly and pathetically vain I am. It's corrosive to the soul.

>>21273966
>When I see them together I realise how disgustingly and pathetically vain I am. It's corrosive to the soul.
At least you're realizing it. Most people just tend to straight out say to somebody they have an ugly girlfriend. I never understood how we fell so low as to normalize that kind of shitty immature behavior. Bro that girl was most likely just born ugly why would you care about someone's girlfriend in the first place? Beauty won't matter when everyone will become a decrepit old ass anywayj

>>21273966
That's sweet. I wonder what drew her to him initially.

What should I ask my family for for Christmas? I never really want anything, but they get mad when I don't ask for anything.

>>21274006
Socks.

>>21274015
I'm doing good on those for now. I have underwear on my list instead.

>>21273910
Not so much that you were a boring cunt but more that you didnt fuck her on the second date. Even just unenthusiastically fingerblasting her would have kept her interested.

>>21274028
socks undies slippers a nice bathrobe. cant go wrong with any of that .

>>21274053
Oh a bathrobe might be nice. thanks for the suggestions.

I'm trying to quit and I normally fail to find really attractive ones, but I've found this camwhore who is a genuinely gorgeous girl. Amazing body which is really rare because camthots are always just young girls with a shitton of makeup and nothing special outside of being young, and her face reminds me that of an ex who had a really pretty face.
But she makes these weird JOI "I HaVe CoNtRoL oVeR yOu" cuck hypnosis videos that are completely unfappable. Just suck it and stfu ffs.
God I need a woman again, I'm not gonna make it alive if I don't get some pussy ASAP. Even the porn is getting impossible to reason with

I think I'm going to see the hentai movie again. It's so pretty and I'll probably never get the sound from headphones (though maybe it's better when the sound is between your ears, like albums after mono where they started writing for the left and right channel). I think the worry between whether I missed anything or whether I look like a degenerate weighs heavier on the missing out on something side; I can't really mount a defense I'm not a weirdo.

>>21274049
kek

Girls love to say "you talk too much". They probably think it makes them sound sexy and they're right.

here comes the sun
doo doo doo doo
here comes the sun
and i say:
it's alright

I keep going on tinder for free hookups people saying others use it for. The only ones there are OnlyFans hookers. I tried going to fag shit and unfortunately there are no cute twinks nearby or those who are aids free. Tried an app called feeld that seems good for HPV/STD speedrunning. Bumble usually goes nowhere, and the other doesn't respond and dies. The only other app I use is this one based on music that's dead and most users are either bots or forgot they had it.

>>21274136
did the beatles EVER have good lyrics?

>>21274169
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9

>>21274169
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oolpPmuK2I8
Though generally, no

>>21274121
You talk too much, Outlander.

>>21274169
>>21274173
Hare Krishna. Nevermind they ripped off marc bolan off on that one.

>>21274169
Mostly no. The only reason why people regard them highly now is because they were attractive to horny teenaged white girls. Same thing with the Rolling Stones. The Who was the best of the three, in pretty much every sense.

>>21274192
I like their music and I'm a grown man. Their lyrics are pretty weak, admittedly.

>>21274187
>Nevermind they ripped off marc bolan off on that one.
Marc Bolan is beautiful and eternal demigod and we all owe him daily for his effortless sacrifices

I cannot think of any music with genuinely good lyrics.

>>21274192
Stones have better lyrics than The Who. Better taste in what they stole too.

>>21274202
Not even Death Grips?

>>21274202
Listen to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjAF7D4l91M

>>21274205
>Death Grips is an American experimental hip hop group
>hip hop
haha lol no

if i had schizophrenia i would know, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qxa91EwFco

I close my eyes and seize it
I clench my fists and beat it
I light my torch and burn it
I am the beast I worship
And I know soon come my time
For in mine void a pale horse burns
But I fear not the time I'm taken
Past the point of no return
Wage war like no tomorrow
'Cause no hell there won't be one
For all who deny the struggle
The triumphant overcome
Trips to where, few have been
Out of thin air, upon high winds
Rites begin when the sun descends
Have felt what few will ever know
Have seen the truth beneath the glow,
Of the ebb and flow, where roots of all mysteries grow
I am below, so far below
The bottom line
Transmitting live, transmissions rise
From the depths out of controlled by
Suspended glance of an unblinking eyes
Imminent gaze cast 'pon the path that winds
'Pon the path I find, and claim as mine
To ride the waves, of unrest
Made to make me shine as a testament
To why the ways of the blind will never get
Shit but shanked by my disrespect
Dismiss this life, worship death
Cold blood night of serpent's breath
Exhaled like spells from the endlessness
In the bottomless wells of emptiness
Channeled to invoke what we represent
Secret order
Elitist horde of
Creeping fire
Seizing power
Riders of the lupus hour
Eye on palm
Time is gone
Moonlight drawn
Fly til dawn
Sacrifice to rise beyond
Deep inside the violent calm
Of the coming storm
In blood sworn
To glorify and for life adorn
With all that dies to become unborn
In the time before time eyes 'bove which horns
Curve like psychotropic scythes
And smell of torn flesh bled dry
By hell swarms of pests flies
Vomiting forth flames lit by
An older than ancient force
That slays this life with no remorse
The spiral storm
Of flames inside
The torch I raise
The force I ride
Feel my vessel go up in flames
Flesh torch lit by thee unnamed
Direct connection to the source
Vestment of unnatural force
Forever burning black torch
Wisdom of the old and true
Possessed by the chosen few
Shining to reveal the ways
Of a darkness that pervades
All that is and ever was
Inferno of witches blood
Worship is not on bended knee
Nature knows not of mercy
To pray is to accept defeat
Power pisses on the weak
Bow and beheaded by the beast
Beggar on a bitches leash
Scum is desperate for relief
Worship is the way I ride
Witching currents through the eye
Of storms that force the false to die
Worship the flames with which I rise
Into apocalyptic skies

>>21274197
The Beatles aren't terrible by any means, but I hate when people say they are the best band of all time and this and that can be traced back to them, especially when bands like Deep Purple, The Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane and the early prog rock bands of the late '60s existed and did their own thing in parallel and the psychedelic rock acts. In general, they were a good pop band that had great marketing. I don't think they're absolute shit (they're pretty good all things considered), but they are unironically overrated in the public consciousness .

>>21274203
I will never give Mick Jagger any credit for anything especially after that story about his weird gay one night stand with David Bowie. Dude's a genuine weirdo.

>>21274090
What are you talking about

>>21274184
this is one of their only good songs, but god damn lyrically they never even tried.

>>21274229
*mid-to-late '60s

>>21274187
That was only one of the Beatles

>>21274169
I used to be cruel to my woman
I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved
Man, I was mean but I'm changing my scene
And I'm doing the best that I can (fool, you fool)

>>21274202
This guy only listens to milquetoast pop or the same classic rock songs that everyone else knows.

>>21274192
lyrically and musically its stones>who>beatles, though musically stones and who are kind of tied, depending. who was more consistent

>>21274169
Yesterday has good lyrics and some of John's songs as well.

>>21274229
>that story about his weird gay one night stand with David Bowie
I think everyone who knew Bowie before the AIDS crisis had one of those. Jagger is a dick and the Stones don't play the best versions of even songs they wrote, but they had better lyrics than The Who.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uVJY1z7cqk

>>21274202
steely dan
>Learn to work the saxophone
>I play just what I feel
>Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
>And die behind the wheel

what sucks about the lyrically theres no indication that the writers were any morer mature than precocious teenagers

>>21274232
Cinema because /tv/ is shit and this is a shitpost thread

>>21274229
The Beatles made novelty songs. Debate me.
>le funny walrus song
>le maxwell silver hammer song
>hecking grandma nursery rhyme

its just memes

>>21274272
>what sucks about the beatles*

>>21274273
Which movie

>>21274249
I have been a musician for 10 years and I have listened to pretty much every obscure genre on the planet from hardcore to irish folk. I have CDs with Indian ragas at home. I don't mean this to brag, I'm actually sort of ashamed that I have wasted so much time consuming and producing all that worthless noise. Today I believe that most art is worthless. Actually not only worthless but actively evil and damaging to humanity. Painting, music, literature, cinema, all of it. The only good music is what you hum when you're at war in a trench, the only good picture is the one of your wife and kids.

>>21274220
Yes but you wouldnt give a fuck.

I'm just gonna be perverted. I'm bad at hiding it anyway.

>>21274342
>hardcore to irish folk
ahh yes the full gamut of musical genres

>>21274342
>hardcore to irish folk
damn bro those are pretty obscure

>>21274342
Can I suck your dick?

>>21274325
It's a live action if hentai made you think something else. It's called Piaffe and about a foley artist trying to record the eponymous movement who grows a tail, mixed with a side of BDSM and mental hospital. It kind of reminded me of Black Moon and I'm worried by missing the first few minutes I might have missed the equivalent of the war.

>>21274352
>>21274357
I have listened to a shitton of metal, jazz, fusion, folk music, electronic music, experimental shit that you can't even find on the internet, classical music. I know a few composers personally. I have been touring regionally. Again I don't say this to brag. I just think I have listened to enough music, and then enough art and cinema which I also have gotten pretty deep into, to have understood that the vast majority of art is poisonous noise.
>>21274364
no

>>21274367
I just googled it. The lead is a cute hapa.

I wish I was on holiday. Well, you can treat your hometown as a tourist destination too if you want. But there's something special about being physically far away from home. I've really got the travel bug.

>>21268590
Honest question guys, when vaxxies laughed and gleefully enjoyed seeing the unvaxxed get discriminated against and even have their lives turned upside down due to terminations over it, what was their plan for these people?

What was their end game plan/goal or what did they want or expect to happen to people who refused the vax and lost their ability to earn an income over it? Did they honestly wish death upon them? Cos that's pretty fucked up and very callous.

Did this whole vax rollout show humanities true nature when they're in the "majority"? Does it make all discrimination in the past, against whatever minority it was against justified? Are the same people who supported unvaxxed discrimination the same types who would have supported seperate schools/drinking fountains etc for negroes because it was the norm and socially acceptable at the time?

>>21274378
Well, if you want to see naked her with a tail or playing with marbles in her mouth, there's your chance.

>>21274349
With who?

>>21274373
>I know a few composers personally.
dude i dont even know any composers. can you just get your dick out right now so i can suck it?

>>21274413
no

>>21274256
I can accept this.

>>21274265
>I think everyone who knew Bowie before the AIDS crisis had one of those
Buck-broken By Bowie
Shitposting aside, I can give you that. The Stones are pretty good objectively. I just don't like Jagger as a person.

>>21274272
Rush is my main band in terms of music and lyrics (especially during the era from Permanent Waves to Roll the Bones and Clockwork Angels), but Steely Dan is a classic jazz-rock band. While they may not be my favorite, they are definitely good, especially Don Fagen in I.G.Y. (which technically isn't Steely Dan but whatever). I think pop music is annoying because I can get making music more accessible to people by not trying to write classical pieces, but I feel that it's not that hard as an adult to listen to music that has deep lyrical themes all the while being an enjoyable musical experience. Pop is literally junk food for the soul. It's literally designed to get an audience and feed them bullshit a teenager could write.

What's with all the dad rock lol

>>21274384
>end game
>plan
Do you not know how panic works? Vaxxies got stirred into a panic by a respiratory infection with a near zero death rate to the point where they were injecting mystery shit into their children's veins because multi-billion dollars companies embroiled in constant billion dollar lawsuits for poisoning infants with cancerous baby powder told them to through the mouthpieces of global health agencies, and if you questioned anything they called you a right-winger because their favorite late night comedy host told them so because he called Trump the cheetoe man. You think retards like that have a plan?

>>21274349
about ur mom? typical 4chan degenerate

>>21274476
The sad truth is that a whole lot of people who got vaxxed, at least in my country, got vaxxed because they were threatened with losing their jobs, and they had a family to feed. There are people who actually thought the vaccine was Safe and Effective™ but I'm not even that sure they were ever a majority. When you need to provide for a family you're pretty much fucked unless you're rich enough to afford losing your job for an extended period of time (and possibly indefinitely since as you said, people who dissented were treated like Nazis).
The problem is that in this society you either bitch down or you're fucked. The only way to escape it is to leave society but that's genuinely terrifying.

Μεσσίας ἀνθίστημι, σύντομος διέπω φορέω γελσόν σκαμνίον, Ναύβολος, τού αἴθων συνδρομή ἀγαλλίασις, ἔκπληξις, δέλεαρ, σπάλαθρον, συναίσθησις, καθέλκω λέμμα ἀκρόπολις, κύριθρα, μεθοδικοί, εἰσαγωγή, πάππος λαβρώνιος, δορά Αὐρήλιος, φωνομαχία ὀβριμόθυμος, βοηθέω ὑποπρό μονοειδής ἀρχι-Θιός, Ὀριναῖοι, ἔφορος, ἀναγκαῖον, παλτός Σώζουσα, σχεδίασμα, χρήσιμος σίαλον, ὁπλοθήκη, αὐτόχθων, ἰχθυάω αὐταρχία, Ἴσακος μύστις, σφοδρός αὐταρχία, ἐντέλλω, ἀμφιβάλλω, σεβαστοκράτωρ, ὅθι μίγμα, ΧΡΝ ψάλτιγξ, πρόξ, σαλεύω μυχός, Τραϊανός Ἴσακος προτερέω, πρόοιδα πυγών, Ὀδρύσαι ὅθι χήμωσις, Δεινόλοχος, χοιροκομεῖον, Σέλαγος ἀμείβω, διατρίβω, κερατωνία, Ἅρμα ζωγράφος, γνώριμος, μεγαλομανής, κατοίκιος, πολεμώνιον ὀτόστυλλος, νίννη, ἐπενδύνω, Σευθόπολις, καταπύγων, ἔπαινος, ΙΗΛ, ποδαγρός, πρυμνός, χωρέω ῥηθέν-
ὡσαννά
ἀλληλούϊα
οἴ
ἴσσα
τήνελλα
ἄξιος
τῆ
εἶα
χαῖρε
ἆ
οἴμοι
εὐαί
ἄξιος
ὦ
εὐοῖ
οὐαί
ἆ
χαῖρε
ἔα
δεῦρο
κιθαριστής, ὄρυζον, δηλόω, σκύμνος, συγχωρέω, ἐξωτερικός, Σαχαλίτης κόλπος, ἀτέραμνος, μεστός, φωνίς, πολέμιος, Τιμάνθης, ἰδίωμα, γαμέτης, τελευτή, λίαν, γέρας, Τιμάνωρ, ἄρ' λῃστρίς, φιλύρα, διέσσυτο, βιβλιοπώλης, σμιρεύς, ὑλήεις, φιλύρινος, ἡμίονος, κύλιξ, μεθοδικοί, ἄγκιστρον, Κάδοι, καταγραφή, ἀρσενικόν, Ἄκις, κραταιός, οὔ Κανίδιος, Εὐρυμεναί, ἀγαθοποιΐα, ἐφοράω σύστημα, ἀρήν βραχύτης, λυρικός, διαζάω, σύντομος, ἀδάπανος, σκευάζω, Ὕβλα Ἡραία, χρήσιμος, ἀχαιμενίς Αἰθαλία, Πολυποίτης, Γαλάτας, πρωτότοκος, ἀνώμαλος, Ἀριθμοί, ἀγορεύω, Ἐλεύθερος, παρακλαυσίθυρον, συγγένεια, ἐπιζάφελος, ἀλεγίζω, συγγένεια, στυλίτισσα, Μέσπιλα, Θεόμνηστος, ἱών, Γαῦλος, χρέμμα, ἔα, φύλοπις, καδμεία, συγ-ἐϋρρεής, Σπαλιρίσης, Ξενοφώντειος

Would the girl I’m dating like it if I wrote her some erotica featuring us? Think it would be hot desu.

>>21274524
What the fuck is all this gibberish? Can some anon tell me what this means? It's all Greek to me.

>>21274526
That's really creepy anon

>>21274526
Featuring only you two or someone else as well? Any weird fetishes?

>>21274531
You're pretty quick

>>21274526
That would be creepy. Do not do it.

>>21274534
Why? I’m her bf, not some rando.

>>21274537
Just us. No fetishes.

>>21274546
Why do you think so?

>>21274526
Yes but write it like woman's raunchy lit. Which means you focus a lot on build up and things like how many candles are on and what color the curtains are (no innuendo here anon).

>>21274547
>Just us. No fetishes.
Really? None at all? I guess it's fine. If she gets triggered at it at least you know she's not the one.

>>21274555
>Yes but write it like woman's raunchy lit.
Cringe and wasted trips. Write it however you want.

>>21274555
Is that really what they like? Are you sure?

>>21274561
She doesn’t have any fetishes afaik. She’s pretty sexually open but I dunno if most girls like reading that stuff.

>>21274547
>Why? I’m her bf,
Ah I thought you were just starting to date. Then yeah I guess it's just a bit kinky in a nerdy way

James Rolfe's book just dropped.

>>21274572
>She’s pretty sexually open
What does that even mean? Anyway don't listen to the other guy. Write it how you want on your own terms.

>>21274588
Just means she’s not a prude.

>>21274572
It's over. They're going to make a copypasta of you after you post the breakup update.
We tried to warn you anon. Don't do it.

>>21274591
I'm not sure what that means nowadays. Is shd willing to do anything? What's considered "prude" or "weird" has changed so much in the last 50 years...

>>21274598
"Prude" these days means you don't have sex on the first date and won't do anilingus on the second.

>>21274598
You aint kidding. This year i hooked up with a few barely legal zoomettes and eating ass nothing to them. They get broken in good these days.

It baffles me how socially clueless, even gullible men have girlfriends and come here asking for advice on what I assume would be basic social awareness in a relationship, while I am here as a KHV, and never had a girlfriend.
Maybe being a genuine sperg is how one gets with girls these day.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die alone.

>>21274612
>while I am here as a KHV, and never had a girlfriend.
Embrace it. In a few years you'll get wizard powers.

>>21274616
Why do you think so? Don’t you have friends/family/a gf? Why not try to form relationships?

>>21274623
I don't care how fruitless it may be to pursue this, but I want to experience being desired by the opposite sex at least once in my life. I refuse to willingly become a wizard. It seems like so many people just accept they aren't good enough without raging against the world itself to get what they want. I won't be one of those people.

this is getting out of hand....

>>21274639
>being desired by the opposite sex at least once in my life.
In a sexual/romantic way? Or as a friend? Is embracing the way of the wizard really accepting you're not good enough?

>>21274665
>In a sexual/romantic way? Or as a friend?
I want to be sexually desired. If I can't ever get that, I want to be able to express my sexual desire onto a woman without getting rape charges.
>Is embracing the way of the wizard really accepting you're not good enough?
Yes. It only becomes harder to get sex the older you are. 30 years old is considered the wizard cutoff for a good reason. To resign oneself to such is to pass the point of no return.

>>21274616
are you okay with that

>>21274639
>I want to experience being desired by the opposite sex at least once in my life
Literally just have money or make yourself look like you have money or you can give free things that cost money (like drugs or vacations) to the women who offer you their holes. You have to understand that women are completely blind to human virtue or things that are abstract. They only appreciate these things in relationship to how much material value these virtues can provide. This is why being a good person makes you a loser cuck to women in 2022: it no longer brings you social advantages, so now it's a loser thing. Women are repulsed by good upstanding men and chase violent psychopaths instead because hyper-"assertive" psychopaths are the people who advance socially. I know it's very difficult to stomach this truth but women are pretty much hedonistic demons. Men are drawn to hardship and those men who are not become effeminate. Comfort is about women, women are the source of all materialistic hedonism. This is why our society is so obsessed with women. Women give birth to more victims of this horrible existence. I don't hate women but you should understand that they're literal servants of Lucifer and there's a portal to Hell between their legs.

>>21274707
I'm aware of the dark-triad blackpill. I've had all the blackpills. Money won't do shit for me. I'm just that ugly. I'm a 3.5/10, maybe a 4/10 at best, and I never was a "nice guy". I've browsed incels.co (now incels.is) for years, and I browsed /r9k/ for years before that before the board became infested with trannies and faggots and attention whores. I know what Schopenhauer, Aristotle, Muhammed, and Weininger had to say about women. You are preaching to the choir.

>I don't hate women
I do. Regardless of that fact I still want sex.

>>21274631
>Don’t you have friends/
No.
>family/
I see them once a year and have trouble even looking them in the eyes when I talk to them.
>a gf?
Hahahaha
>Why not try to form relationships?
I do try, but there are a lot of social cues that I don't pick up on for some reason. It often feels like others are speaking another language and I only know a few phrases.
>Why do you think so?
Many reasons. I'm much more comfortable alone than with others except in a very small set of situations. I hate opening up to others. I don't think I deserve to be happy or to succeed and actively sabotage myself. I'm a manlet, of below average looks, and probably of below average intelligence as well. I've been rejected pretty harshly in the past and am afraid to try again. I strongly feel myself to be a burden on others and often decide to reject their advances in order to prevent myself from further causing trouble for them as I have for others in the past who eventually cut me out of their lives for that reason. I have several skeletons in my closet, so to speak, and fear letting someone else know everything about me because I believe they would be disgusted. I simply have nothing interesting to say to anyone and often find myself nodding and yeah-ing during a conversation rather than responding with anything of substance. I've never had a relationship of any type not fall apart at some point due to problems of my own making. Of course, I do feel lonely and wish to connect with others and to experience intimacy with someone, which is why I even think about whether I'll die alone or not, but I wish I wouldn't because they simply cause me anxiety and pain. I feel torn between wanting to love someone else and be loved in return and wanting to shut out all others forever and live completely alone far from civilization.
>>21274695
Yes. No. I don't know.

>>21274684
>I want to be sexually desired.
Is that your end goal? Will your goal be fulfilled in any context for example a hookup? Also I disagree that it's over after 30, you definitely still have a chance with schoolgirls/young women.

next thread since we're at bump limit and going down

>>21274748
>>21274748
>>21274748

>>21274755
Why the fuck would you use a picture of a fat tranny for the OP?

>>21274731
I think you're better off trying to cut them off of your life. Just look at the people who get the most and hottest pussy: they're like 60IQ sportsniggers and other human trash. If you despise women you probably despise the hedonistic spiral. If you do not despise the hedonistic spiral then you'd already have jumped on the psycho train and became an agent of the machine-god. You know what I'm talking about. I've seen absolute mockeries of human beings with 10/10 models next to them because they were driving a Porsche, money totally works at getting you laid. Vast majority of women today are openly prostituted, they don't even take those extra few steps of disassociation from directly getting the money. You hate this stuff but there's this constant biological temptation and it's quite literally tearing you apart. You are repulsed by something that you can only obtain by getting closer to what you find revolting. It's going to drive you insane, man. Just ignore women. Just treat pussy like alcoholism or something like that. Then if you actually manage to tread that path you want to tread instead of constantly struggling to toe the line between your revulsion for hedonism and the hedonistic machine-world you will be free of this shit and you will manage to be happy even without a stinking hell hole.

>>21273786
he made money but he still feels like he has a lot to prove. sounds like he's trying to convince you and therefore himself that he's "made" now, despite messing about for so long. that one statement you mentioned says a lot about his mind state, his insecurities. i hope he finds peace somewhere.

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>>21273729
It was a demon. You made the right choice

I hate life but I have no intention or desire to end it

>>21269947
>singular they
You're the retard

definiteness, a
vengest sevensome super
brave holobranchs gawn

>>21272867
i dont even know if this was related to my message
or what it really implies
but sure, seems like an easy wish to fulfill

>>21273636
>I didn't let them do it because somehow I could tell that they were gay, or maybe bisexual or queer in some other way, and I didn't want some gay ghost taking over my body even if it meant sacrificing the creation of good artwork
Absurdly BASED. Do not let (((spirits))) molest you, even if it's "inspiring" or if it (((coincidentally))) allows you to get a deal in hollywood