/lit/ - Literature

Sheep

I'm a sheep, growling, roaring but it all was in vain. I'm meek and servile, with head full of attitude and resentment. I want to be a lion, but I know with full certainty that it's not possible. So what do I do? I want to rebel. My flesh will be torn to pieces, with nothing left from the top of my head to the end of my toes. All gone, consumed, by the lions. This is what nature wants, it's futile to try to change it.

>>19033865
TOES????

A deviant, a miscreant, a thing that just won't fit anywhere. A nomad, who has no place to call home. Me. I.

Kindness feels disturbing. Pretense is artificial. Evil brings resentment. Oblivion is where I belong.

I am a filth, truly I am a repulsive man. Time and blessing had been granted to me, yet I only know how to waste it all, in vanity and debauchery. Truly, truly I am a sick man. I acknowledge my transgression, which no one but me is to blame. My sin is before me, blackened and muddy with lust and degeneracy. I should not be alive, for I can't be forgiven. For I must find a way to atone and to receive my punishment as a deviant should.

I must confess all of my filth, as this is the only way to atonement and a truly deserved punishment for a shameful animal like me.

>>19033872
IT WILL FIT ANYWHERE

Do not feel shameful anon. Being unashamedly open about what you're struggling with is the most important step in overcoming any addiction. I struggled with porn addiction for 7 years, but everything got better when I started telling other people about it. Things are different when you're not just letting yourself down, but also the people who believe in you. You don't have to do this all on your own man. This is a serious addiction and there are probably some real mental problems that you are trying to cover up. Let me close by saying that the longer you persevere, the easier it gets. I don't experience much temptation anymore at all, because over time your brain starts to rewire and your attractions return to what's normal again. It's worth it man, you just have to believe that you can do it.

This is garbage. You should've deleted it. Only the author finds their diary compelling.

>>19033861
>I am thinking of confessing to my parents about my severe porn addiction
Confess to God and a priest as well

>>19033865
>>19033872
>>19033877
Genuinely good work anon, keep it up

>>19033861
The way I stopped cooming was looking back at my journal and seeing how much it tormented me. The hard part is the first day and then from there it's quite easy. But if that voice in your head tries to tempt you, read some pages from your journal were you talk about the suffering that masturbation has caused and remember the long road it took to get you were you are now.

>>19033861
Confessing what for? You're weak, find a way through, either with this habit (in a healthy, non-self-resenting way) or without it. But don't weigh down their conscience

>>19033877
These are cringe not because of the content but because you felt the need to write in the voice of an 18th century nobleman. You sound like the fucking man from underground.

>>19033981
>>19034010
>>19034038
Thanks, fren, I am truly grateful that there are people like you guys who supported me on this path

>>19034163
I have two reasons why I decided to finally blow the lid off. First, it's because of my father. I know that my father is also a user, and I hope maybe by seeing me going through this path, leave a mark on his conscience, and maybe he will change, or maybe he will spite me for it. I know this is naive and arrogant, but this is not my main reason.

Secondly, I won't let myself taste any regret. This is all my own doing, I am prepared to accept any punishment. I want my parents to know me as who I am, and not just a facade of an obedient son. I don't know what kind of response I would get, but I'm willing to take it all.

>>19034187
Well yeah, I read a lot of Dosto, Tolstoy, and Pessoa back in high school and first-year uni. The influences still stick.